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lapis
Welcome, Dessie Ann. I don't know what to say to you that won't sound like a platitude but maybe this is a good time to reassess what you are gifted with rather than focusing on the pain of what you don't (or can't) have. Can you make a list of things you love about your body or take some sexy pictures with a professional or simply tell yourself everyday that your vitality and strength are beautiful things? It sounds like you have a lot--8 kids, a man who thinks you are sexy, a strong will to survive, the ability to recognize that you need help, and the strength to ask for it--you should be proud of yourself! That's a lot! You are loved and supported. Speaking for myself, I think the forums can offer a certain kind of stimulation and support and that this support would be maximized if you could get some professional help. Despite everything, you deserve to be happy and now is a good time to make peace with your body. You hve more to worry about than this--but I also understand how it can become a place for the self-hatred, anxiety, and pain you might be feeling in other parts of your life. I am not going to address your breas size here because the larger issue is how to take care of yourself. Good luck.
knorl05
dessie ann: sorry to hear you are overwhelmed in your feelings of inadequacy. i think it's important to be honest with yourself about what you want. why do you want your boobs done so badly? you've gone your whole life with the breasts you have, why the sudden urgency on having the procedue? your husband loves you as you are. your kids love you as you are. why not grant yourself permission to love yourself as you are too? what do you feel the procedure will accomplish for you? happiness? so you -for medical reasons- cant get the procedure done, does that mean you will never allow yourself to be happy? i know right now you are wrapped up in your negative thoughts and that you cant see beyond your hurt feelings.. but just be realistic about all of this. is a boob job really worth your emotional well being? is it really worth your thoughts? have you ever considered talking your feelings out to a therapist? dont give up, life can always get better. just think of how happy you will be when you love yourself unconditionally as you are. imagine the strong role model you can be to your children. man it sounds like you've got a lot of things to be grateful for.
karategrrl
Wowzers! I don't check the site for a couple weeks and LOOK at all this great conversation!

First of all, DessieAnn, my heart goes out to you. I, too, have been through some throes of depression. So I know we could all talk facts with you and you could say, "I know," and it still might not make you feel any better. But I'll try anyway, hopeless as I am... rolleyes.gif It does just suck that your friends all went and got the surgery in the first place. I'm sure they didn't plan the timing for when you were in the hospital, but yes, it does suck, and so did their timing. BUT, a few other small-breasted hotties here have brought up some awesome points, i.e., the other things you have to be thankful for. Above all, you are ALIVE and you're a survivor. Your wonderful family wouldn't love you any more if you had bigger boobies--they love you the way you already are. Okay, so you are depressed. But you know what? Being alive and living your life means being feeling the lows as well as the highs. You can't have one without the other. And I guarantee you, it WILL get better. Things always do. The tides of life go in and out like waves. Right now you're at the bottom of a wave, that's all. Yes, it hurts like hell right now, but the experiences will transform you. An excellent book I have found lots of meaning in is "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." If you have not read it, I seriously recommend it. That book probably more than any other has shaped my life. Hugs and kisses to you from all of us here, really!! laugh.gif Hope this helps.

On to other points I wanted to make:

"But I know people with implants, nose jobs, ect. who are really secure and confident because that surgery was what they wanted to fulfill an image of themselves"

I understand this, but my beef is, WHERE does that image come from? Men who think small is not attractive? The implant manufacturers who just want to make money? There isn't a woman out there who just wakes up one day and says, "I hate my breasts because...because....well, because they are small!" It is this "ideal image" we are fed--in advertisements, movies, music videos, the media--that is feeding us a "bigger is better," "ideal" image to mold ourselves into. Why not change your outlook to embrace the image you were made in, rather than change your image to fit someone else's outlook?

You know, it is interesting to note here that "ideal" bodies vary greatly, according to setting/location, etc., as someone else brought up. Case in point: I always feel more beautiful, breasts and all, when I go to yoga retreats. The women there are all about being natural. I see so many small-breasted women there proudly going braless. It's so freaking refreshing!

Oh, and about the breastfeeding woman on the plane....SHEEESH! I bet that man who had such an issue with it normally has no problem whatsoever with seeing breasts--as long as they are in a low-cut blouse or bobbing around on a stripper. But <gasp> god(dess) forbid those breasts be: 1) doing what they are actually made for; and 2) NOT just for his pleasure. I mean, wasn't HE probably breastfed? The dumbness of people astounds me sometimes.

karategrrl
LilMissStrange
I just wanna say I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am the only one whose noticed/experienced this? That all the 'haters' I've experienced through my life are straight women. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from straight guys and lesbians...people who actually want to see my boobs! And honestly when it comes to sex I don't have problems with showing them, and the response has been 100% so far tongue.gif But put me in a change room with a buncha straight girls and I'm changing in the bathroom stall.
I was eating lunch with my friends in high school and two of them started arguing (one has A cups the other DD). The one friend with big breasts decides to end the argument by saying "Those with B cups or larger raise your hands", so of course everyone shoots their hands in the air (which is fucking sad btw that they felt the need to do that without thinking, as if you can't tell by looking anyway) and me and the other girl are sitting there with our hands down feeling like arseholes. In the end I told them how fucked that was, women turning on each other like that, and ate lunch somewhere else that day.
There's also the random comments while watching tv or a movie and someone takes their shirt off; "She's so flat", "OMG her boobs are so small!" Meanwhile the girl's boyfriend is always like "mmmm....titties" or "I'd like to put those in my mouth", etc.
I also remember my mom talking to her friend in the living room and I was in earshot while her friend was going on about how big her daughter's breasts have gotten and saying don't worry that I am a late bloomer and it will happen eventually. I was 17 I think at that point, and I knew that my breasts weren't going to get bigger. I think my mom said something like "it doesn't matter anyway", but I think to her it kinda did.
This shit used to really get to me in high school but I think I've stopped letting it for the most part.
So just remember, the people you get naked with don't care if your breasts are big or small they just wanna see 'em!

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!
knorl05
lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.

karategrrl: yes, women who engage in yoga (people in general) tend to be more at peace with themselves. tend to value their life for more than just materialism and image. that's what i see is the power of spirituality, it transforms people. it tends to lift people higher, allow them to put life into perspective. not to say it's the only way to live a quality life, but i do think it contributes to people being more aware of and appreciative of their Selves and other people and life as a whole.

lilmiss. yes. the insensitive comments. "she needs a boob job" is one that always bugged me. why do smaller chested women need a boob job? that's just mindless ignorance if i ever heard it. you are right, none of the people i've dated/hooked up with have said anything negative about my chest size. if anything, they have said things to build up my confidence and have even thought my preoccupation with my breasts was unnecessary. so i guess it comes down to this.. "those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind" wink.gif
DessieAnn
QUOTE(knorl05 @ Apr 23 2007, 12:08 PM) *
lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.

karategrrl: yes, women who engage in yoga (people in general) tend to be more at peace with themselves. tend to value their life for more than just materialism and image. that's what i see is the power of spirituality, it transforms people. it tends to lift people higher, allow them to put life into perspective. not to say it's the only way to live a quality life, but i do think it contributes to people being more aware of and appreciative of their Selves and other people and life as a whole.

lilmiss. yes. the insensitive comments. "she needs a boob job" is one that always bugged me. why do smaller chested women need a boob job? that's just mindless ignorance if i ever heard it. you are right, none of the people i've dated/hooked up with have said anything negative about my chest size. if anything, they have said things to build up my confidence and have even thought my preoccupation with my breasts was unnecessary. so i guess it comes down to this.. "those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind" wink.gif

DessieAnn
I just typed in Support for small busted women. I was looking for help with my issues. I found you all by accident. But I am very glad I found you all, as it has helped me so much. I already feel better and stronger. I'm coming to a peaceful place with myself. You all have helped me so much to see what is real, what is important and that I'm ok they way I am.
Thank you so much!
Dessie Ann
DessieAnn
QUOTE(LilMissStrange @ Apr 22 2007, 11:53 PM) *
I just wanna say I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am the only one whose noticed/experienced this? That all the 'haters' I've experienced through my life are straight women. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from straight guys and lesbians...people who actually want to see my boobs! And honestly when it comes to sex I don't have problems with showing them, and the response has been 100% so far tongue.gif But put me in a change room with a buncha straight girls and I'm changing in the bathroom stall.
I was eating lunch with my friends in high school and two of them started arguing (one has A cups the other DD). The one friend with big breasts decides to end the argument by saying "Those with B cups or larger raise your hands", so of course everyone shoots their hands in the air (which is fucking sad btw that they felt the need to do that without thinking, as if you can't tell by looking anyway) and me and the other girl are sitting there with our hands down feeling like arseholes. In the end I told them how fucked that was, women turning on each other like that, and ate lunch somewhere else that day.
There's also the random comments while watching tv or a movie and someone takes their shirt off; "She's so flat", "OMG her boobs are so small!" Meanwhile the girl's boyfriend is always like "mmmm....titties" or "I'd like to put those in my mouth", etc.
I also remember my mom talking to her friend in the living room and I was in earshot while her friend was going on about how big her daughter's breasts have gotten and saying don't worry that I am a late bloomer and it will happen eventually. I was 17 I think at that point, and I knew that my breasts weren't going to get bigger. I think my mom said something like "it doesn't matter anyway", but I think to her it kinda did.
This shit used to really get to me in high school but I think I've stopped letting it for the most part.
So just remember, the people you get naked with don't care if your breasts are big or small they just wanna see 'em!

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!

DessieAnn
QUOTE(LilMissStrange @ Apr 22 2007, 11:53 PM) *
I just wanna say I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am the only one whose noticed/experienced this? That all the 'haters' I've experienced through my life are straight women. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from straight guys and lesbians...people who actually want to see my boobs! And honestly when it comes to sex I don't have problems with showing them, and the response has been 100% so far tongue.gif But put me in a change room with a buncha straight girls and I'm changing in the bathroom stall.
I was eating lunch with my friends in high school and two of them started arguing (one has A cups the other DD). The one friend with big breasts decides to end the argument by saying "Those with B cups or larger raise your hands", so of course everyone shoots their hands in the air (which is fucking sad btw that they felt the need to do that without thinking, as if you can't tell by looking anyway) and me and the other girl are sitting there with our hands down feeling like arseholes. In the end I told them how fucked that was, women turning on each other like that, and ate lunch somewhere else that day.
There's also the random comments while watching tv or a movie and someone takes their shirt off; "She's so flat", "OMG her boobs are so small!" Meanwhile the girl's boyfriend is always like "mmmm....titties" or "I'd like to put those in my mouth", etc.
I also remember my mom talking to her friend in the living room and I was in earshot while her friend was going on about how big her daughter's breasts have gotten and saying don't worry that I am a late bloomer and it will happen eventually. I was 17 I think at that point, and I knew that my breasts weren't going to get bigger. I think my mom said something like "it doesn't matter anyway", but I think to her it kinda did.
This shit used to really get to me in high school but I think I've stopped letting it for the most part.
So just remember, the people you get naked with don't care if your breasts are big or small they just wanna see 'em!

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!

DessieAnn
Thank you, all of you, for those who have responded to my cry for help. I read all your posts and all your thoughts. Thank you, thank you and thank you. You are all right and all brought up valid points. Yes, I have consulted a therapist, and she directed me to finding this thread, she could not remember the name, but told me to type in small breast support groups. I already feel better. You all brought me back up. Brought me to the place where I can finally see what is real, what is important, what I have to be thankful for, that I am ok just the way I am. I'm lucky to be alive for goodness sake, and I want to live long enough to see one of my kids give me a grandchild, even though I will probably be a "younger" grandma. This weekend, my hubby took me to shop for some blouses (that show I have a little cleavage) and pretty under things. He had me model them for him, and he bought the whole lot for me. Then he took me out on the town and said....see.....you are getting attention! It was then that I realized, I don't really need or want another man's attention but his! He thinks I'm beautiful, and I'm lucky. Then another though occured to me and hit me like a lightening bolt.....his opinion IS important to me, but my own is more important. I felt better. Just realizing this, a huge weight was lifted. Then I came in this morning and saw all of you have replied to me, gave me support, words of wisdom and empathy. Bless you all. It brought me to tears. I was really, truely and deeply touched. Thank you all of you. It really helped and I feel so much better. About everything. I am not alone, and their is nothing wrong with me the way I am! Larger breasted women are not superior to me, they are just different. It is the difference between us all that makes the world a richer place. And yes, there are some who use this particular part of their bodies to make themselves feel, look or act superior. And that is their issue. It doesn't have to be mine. So, today, I went and checked out each of my friends who had the implant surgery and congratulated them on achieving for themselves what they wanted. I don't want this for myself. It is not possible, and I no longer want it. I'm just little and small framed anyway - I'd look and FEEL ridiculous if I did it anyway. The world will always throw at us and image of perfection, that most of us will never be able to acheive. But inner peace and happiness and acceptance with ourselves (me, in particular here) - is what is most important to living life to it's fullest. I've been given a "miracle" second chance. Most women never survive Ovarian Cancer. I was lucky. And I am blessed and I'm just going to focus on that. You are all just terrific women, your openness and willingness to share and console me is a gift I am treasuring and cherishing. Thank you all. Big hug to all of you.
LilMissStrange
QUOTE(knorl05 @ Apr 23 2007, 01:08 PM) *
lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.


I read BUST magazine and I just happened to check the site out and found these forums!
lapis
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Apr 22 2007, 07:26 PM) *
On to other points I wanted to make:

"But I know people with implants, nose jobs, ect. who are really secure and confident because that surgery was what they wanted to fulfill an image of themselves"

I understand this, but my beef is, WHERE does that image come from? Men who think small is not attractive? The implant manufacturers who just want to make money? There isn't a woman out there who just wakes up one day and says, "I hate my breasts because...because....well, because they are small!" It is this "ideal image" we are fed--in advertisements, movies, music videos, the media--that is feeding us a "bigger is better," "ideal" image to mold ourselves into. Why not change your outlook to embrace the image you were made in, rather than change your image to fit someone else's outlook?


Body images can come from a number of places--beyond or in addition to the media. For example, family trends in body types might inform peoples' sense of what they should have (my family is mostly pretty buxom, except for me), prevailing cultural stereotypes may present in everyday conversations (traveling can bring this out in serious ways when people from a different country notice or comment on your figure), and I truly believe that you can have a sense of who you should have been--perhaps in the same way that trans people might feel that they weren't born into the body they expected and rather choose another form more appropriate to how they see themselves. Really basic notions of sexual difference could make women want larger breasts on just a gut kind of level. It's doubtful that men want big dicks just because of porn or media--there's probably some kind of biological drive behind it. And perhaps media manipulates some of those drives--but people can define beauty and their bodies for themselves, whether satisfied or not.

I hesitate to blame the media for all body image ideals because images and ideals can come from other places, too. This conversation about the media can dovetail some stuff in the "pretty girl" thread because, in my opinion, people have agency to choose their personal aesthetics and aren't always victims of patriarchy or media. People have aspirations and concepts of beauty which transcend what they are exposed to--where did counterculture come from if not from peoples' imaginations? Anyway, I think media can play a role but I believe it gives the media too much power and people not enough to say that our ideal are entirely derivative from media. And disengaging from media, rendering it powerless, can be a step toward self definition and love. Before media existed there were body norms and people who embraced or eschewed them.

Anyway, self- acceptance is a wonderful, empowering thing, and sometimes choosing to modify your body in a way that makes you happy can be wonderful and empowering, too--wherever that "look" comes from. Inside each person exists a creative force powering self-definition, self-love, and even discontentment.

karategrrl
QUOTE(LilMissStrange @ Apr 23 2007, 04:53 AM) *
I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!


Actually, I've gotten the best feedback from gay & bi women. Straight men have, unfortunately, been the worst overall in being satisfied with my breasts. I'll NEVER forget two comments from 2 different women I was seeing (I'm bi): One said my breasts were "perfect" (and I couldn't keep her off them!!!) The other said, "Your body is a work of art." Ahh, YESSS! As for the guys, I never got comments like that. I've gotten the "What cute little handfuls" comments (Bleargh!) and my all-time fave, "Well, if you decided to get implants--for yourself, of course--I'd be okay with that." (Gee, thanks for telling me what I can do with my own body. Bleargh! again.)

DessieAnn, I'm SO glad things are looking up for you!!!! We're here for you! One thing I mentioned many, many posts back that bears repeating is, I made a collage for myself of all kinds of beautiful, sexy women--who just happen to be small-busted. It's a big confidence-booster for when I need it, and it might help you as well. Keep your eyes open for pics from catalogues, magazines, even do some internet searches and print stuff out. When I get depressed looking through the Victoria's Secret catalogue, I pull out my collage and feel instantly better!

BTW, I found this group through a Google search. I've found online support groups for many different things through the years. It's amazing what's/who's out there! smile.gif

Love you guys,

Karategrrl
dj-bizmonkey
i have had similar experiences with karategrrl, though we've talked about it before in this thread and there was some one (who's name escapes me now, so very sorry) who had the most criticism come from women she had been with. i haven't been intimate with a woman, beyond fully clothed flirtation, but for the most part, they have described my breasts as 'exquisite, unique perfection,' among other things.

as for men, i have to say that if you've got small breasts, most likely you won't end up in a long term relationship with a breast-man, ya know? just as if you had an aversion to red-headed guys, you most likely (though there are exceptions to every rule) won't end up getting serious about one. sometimes, you just don't know when you start dating a guy. i dated this guy in college and we'd been together for about 3 months. i was prancing around in just my white cotton undies, examining my form when i said, 'you know, the guy that falls for me won't be a breast man, he'll be an ass man,' because that is a region where god(dess) has blessed me (thanks be to that higher power!). he just shrugged and said, 'i'm a breast man.' well FUCK?! why'd ya have to go and say that out loud. it was exceedingly rude and unnecessary. i wanted to cover up and go hide in the corner. i never shook that comment. needless to say, we broke up, but it had nothing to do with my breasts and everything to do with a litany of other psychological problems this guy had. but, come on?!! i've never thought a man i was dating was perfect, but i certainly wouldn't tell him, 'ya know, i like big dicks, and you just aren't up to snuff.' you gotta keep that stuff to yourself and focus on the POSITIVE.

on that note, the majority of men i've been with have given me nothing but compliments on my breasts. my last serious boyfriend (now ex, for unrelated factors) were having the 'ex' discussion and he was talking about his last girlfriend, who happened to be very very busty. he said out when they first started dating, he was excited, because he'd never been with a woman with that kind of body before. however after fooling around a few times with her, he realized he didn't really enjoy it all that much. he then turned to me and said, 'it was such a let down and now i'd much prefer something like...' and he started flipping through one of my magazines frantically, then looked up, pointed straight at my chest and said, 'that!' how sweet! in fact, i was in a similar situation last summer with my current, non-serious gentleman friend. same type of situation, we were sitting in my room and i was getting dressed, scrutinizing myself because i thought i'd gained some weight in the past month. i knew i was baiting him, just like i had with the boyfriend in college, but i made some comment in passing similar to my first one about breast men and ass men. he waved his hand and said, 'bah, big tits are overrated.'

even though i still remember every rude, unkind comment or criticism some one has made about my breasts, i always try to balance it in my mind with all the positive feedback i've gotten.

it just goes to show, there are different preferences out there, (and this is going to be a very heteronormative diatribe, but that's my main level of experience) breast men, ass men, men who love legs, hips, stomachs, ears, necks, long fingers, big feet, little feet, curly hair, blonde hair, no hair etc. you can't waste your time agonizing about how to please everyone. as lapis said, regardless of where the drive to fit into some modicum of beauty comes from, self acceptances is very empowering. and in the end, NOTHING is sexier than confidence.

oh, and i also found this thread through a google search, it's what got me into the whole bust lounge culture (now i'm addicted, thank you very much.) the worst part of the google search was the fact that i got a warning that i might be innudated with pornographic websites if i used those particular search terms. blegh. so glad i found you ladies, like i said before, it gives me strength to know that you are all out there in the world!
A Cup Lover
I know that guys aren't really supposed to post here and I really don't mean to troll... but, I just wanted to let you all know that there are a lot of guys out there that find small breasts incredibly sexy. I'm a 25 year old guy and I would much rather be with a cute, intelligent, interesting woman with A cups or less than some gigantic utters. And, I know that there are a lot of guys out there like me. It amazes me that girls would spend so much money to buy special push up bras or get surgery when there are so many of us who love smaller breasts.
knorl05
dj-biz: i've found the same thing from a lot of guys and the whole big boob thing.. (not to knock ladies with big boobs) but guys i know have said that after a while big boobs become boring and get in the way. i've also heard guys say that anything bigger than what would fit into a martini glass is too much. and most supermodels have barely there breasts as well. it's weird, i think everyone has issues with their bodies.. some just have deeper issues than others. we can look around and see all these messages that say we're not good enough, or -like you said- we can focus on the positive instead. sure it sucks when we feel we dont measure up in some areas, but if we are strong in others, it really shouldnt matter. i think we also have to look to our own beliefs as a factor in what the comments/reactions say to us.. as though, if we were ok with ourselves, their approval or disapproval wouldnt affect us so deeply. it's just a part of who we are, not the whole.. imo if there are people out there who care that much about that one part, they are obviously not someone i want to interact with anyway so their opinion means shit to me.

i dunno... what is any of this really? the people who truly see me and care about me for who i am dont seem to worry about it, so why have i? it's just a stupid distraction anyway. big boobs, small boobs, whatever.. they're boobs. different strokes for different folks. there's so much other stuff that deserves my attention in life that i refuse to let some misconception society may or may not have about boobs stop me from living how i want to live. so i'm never gonna be a busty babe, who the fuck cares. i'm gonna be a small busted babe, and that determines nothing about my worth or potential or womanhood. period.

a cup: thanks for the feedback, that's very considerate of you. smile.gif

(ps. i think i touched on my issue with it... i feel like women throughout history have had this very feminine aspect of whom they are bring them power and admiration. and i guess i've felt left out. boo hoo. maturity, sex appeal, confidence, power.. all come from within the individual. and i'd rather be happy with whom i am, than fit into some subjectively idealized picture of human perfection anyway. because like 'a cup lover' pointed out, we may already be perfect in some eyes. and we may be more scrutinized by others, but that's just how it seems to be for people who are strong enough to be their own person.)
anna k
I always felt like big breasts were overrated, and I have D's. I never liked showing them off or trying to use them to be sexy. I often wear tanks underneath shirts that would show them off because I don't like a lot of cleavage, I prefer to keep them for myself rather than stick them out like insane appendages.
lux
well anna k, since you have the option of showing your cleavage if you so wish, i think your post belongs somewhere else.
i really wouldn't mind having a cleavage, specially since my dear girlfriend keeps telling me that i'd be sexually more attractive if i had bigger breasts. se yeah, gay women are not all fun and games when it comes to breasts. if someone was still wondering about that.
dj-bizmonkey
knorl- i still can't figure out how to get the quote option to work on these threads (i am technologically challenged), but i couldn't agree with you more on every point you made. however, although i agree that breasts are a symbol of feminity, i think their oversexualization and the obession with size is a western phenomena (though the standards of western beauty are spreading, especially in places like China) and not some biologically based drive. since the dawn of human beings existence, men have desired attractive women, but what designated 'attractive,' has always and will always be subject to change. like you said, do you really want to invest any extra time and energy into worrying about what some one (who is so shallow as to only value one part of your body) else thinks of you? you are dead on knorl, there are just so many more important and valuable aspects of being alive.

anna k, as far as i'm concerned, you can post in here all you like. i enjoy hearing what it's like from the other side and it helps to put things in perspective. i have really tried in my posts not to demonize or criticize women who are bustier than me. that's just the way you were made, and just like i don't enjoy being pitied or put down by my more voluptious counterparts, i wouldn't want to do the same thing back to them. some of us may be longing for bigger breasts, but we don't really see what some of the hardships of that might be, such as back-pain, constantly having to wear a bra and never having anyone look you in the eye, or getting called out as a whore just because you decide to show your cleavage. you have every right to wear what makes you feel comfortable or beautiful. i personally have no cleavage and no option to create any, even with the help of a wonder bra. the skin on my chest will fold in two before my breasts will touch! i have two girlfriends with huge breasts, one of whom had a reduction two years ago from a DD to a C. she is so happy now and she has really helped me to appreciate my body more. the irony is, both of my friends always talk about how they wish they had breasts like mine. i've said it before, but the grass is always greener.

i know most of my statements are about heterosexual attractiveness, but that's just my experiental base.

lux-it really sucks that your girlfriend is so negative about they way you look. can you tell her how hurtful it is to hear that and that even if she feels she must make statements to that effect she should at least temper it with something positive about your body?
anna k
I post in here sometimes to cheer you guys on, and to tell that anyone who is wanting bigger breasts the disadvantages of them. I've been busty since I was 13, so I was jealous of smaller breasts and didn't want this exaggerated feminity on me, Jessica Rabbit style.
knorl05
dj-biz: thanks for your feedback, i always enjoy reading what you write.

i've got to go into work soon but i just wanted to post real quick about what a big dork i am. so i went to a new gyno today and we were talking about breast exams and i just nervously laughed and said "i dont have to worry about that because my boobs are so small". she had enough sense and maturity to ignore my comment. it's weird tho, i sometimes, not always, but sometimes i feel i need to explain or make excuses for my breast size. it's my damn self-consciousness leaking through when i'm in uncomfortable situations. blink.gif
lux
anna k - maybe came on a bit hars, sorry about that. i just feel like anytime there's any talk about breast, i always get to hear my bustier friends complaining. this just seems to be one of the few places where it's possible to communicate with others that maybe have similar issues with their breasts that i do. sometimes you just need a place for saying that, you'd like to go to any store and just pick up bra and they'd have it in your size. sometimes i just need to say that i'm not all that happy about the size of my breasts, without having to feel ever so grateful for not getting back pains.
or maybe i should just start sending mails to the locall stores and tell them that there actually are people that would like to buy bras in AA sizes:)

the truth is that usually i'm pretty happy with my body, and i try to focus on that when i'm not. sometimes it just a bit hard, because boobs seem to be everywhere. i meen there's so much talk about them, and they are a cultural symbol for femininity. it's kind of hard never to think about them.

dj-biz - i've tried telling that to her, but i don't think she really gets it. she has a tendency to make harsh comments about the way other people look, and then she's wondering why i'm so self-conscious. after the one time i commented her weight, and she got really upset, she dared to say that she never says anything like that about me. so i made her a list of all the things she's said to me. and that's everything from top to toes, all from hair colour to short legs and big hands. haven't heard that many comments after that:) she just doesn't understand how her comments affect me.

ok, now i'm getting into too many not breast related issues.
karategrrl
Some responses to others' posts:

Anna K: Wow, "exaggerated femininity." I never thought of it that way. Yes, I could see how that would be tough to deal with--how people make assumptions about you because of a large chest. I think that would drive me crazy, too. I appreciate your input and will try and remember that next time I get down on myself.

DJ Biz, you are so right on--the grass is always greener & attractiveness above all comes from inner confidence! Definetely something to meditate on. And yes, there are ass men, breast men, and evrything else--if you love yourself, the ones that will love you as you are will come along.

A Cup Lover, your comments (and your screen name) made my day! No, not that I need a man's--or anyone's--approval, but sometimes it's just really nice to get a compliment!

Lux, I luuuve the list you came up with for your friend. I think some people just don't realize what they are saying. You probably helped her out by pointing that out to her. Sounds like she has some personal things to deal with
karategrrl
Hey, does anyone know if Paris Hilton really got a boob job or not? I saw it in a celebrity rag last night. Now, I'm not a big fan of Paris or celebrities in general, but I always loved how she flaunted her small boobies, even when she could definetely afford implants. She always made small boobs look HOT. Someone puh-lease tell me it's a lie--that she didn't get them!! sad.gif
dj-bizmonkey
lux, i think i understand now why you responded that way at first to anna k. sometimes we get so wrapped up to supporting each other and being positive, we forget that it is also healing to acknowledge our fears and insecurities, outloud (or in bold-face type) without having someone totally deflate them. i mean, it's like that old adage about how men and women complain about their problems right? when women complain to men, men always want to offer a solution and try and 'fix' the problem. and then women get pissed and say, 'i don't want you to fix it, i just want you to listen!' it is cathartic to get things off your chest (no pun intended). thank you for clarifying, and despite all my 'love yourself,' philosophy, there are definetly days when i wake up and just wish i was different. it's a constant battle, but any kind of psychological self-improvement is incredibly difficult and you have to actively change the way you think. as for the issue with your girlfriend, wow, that list sounds brutal. this may be a little after-school special style, but now that you've made that list, couldn't the two of you sit down and make two seperate lists of a different kind? lists that say all the things that you love about eachothers bodies/personalities. it would be a could excercise in complimenting eachother and might help you discover that despite her critical nature, she really does find you quite sexy.

knorl, sometimes i feel like the fat kid that has to make fun of herself before anyone else does. i will talk about the fact that my breasts are small, openly, laugh about them, discuss the pros and cons. it's all so i can remain on the offensive and not get my feelings hurt. i've never had to do that at the gyno because i have this jolly nurse practictioner lady with whom i can discuss just about anything. i did go so far as to have her put me on the highest estrogen level birth control available just to see if it would make my tits grow. no luck. but it did succeed in making me totally insano. i'm dealing with genetics here. simple as that.

i don't think that paris hilton got a boob job, but then again, i'm pretty out of the loop down here in Costa. In fact, I should say that after this post I'll be MIA for about a week (we're starting a census of all the monkey species in the park and i've got to camp out for the next 10 days). despite the fact that paris hilton kinda makes me want to pukey, i did have respect for her and nicky never taking the plastic surgery plunge. let's think of some other celebrities who are 'keepin' it real.' keira knightly, kate hudson, cameron diaz, kate bosworth, though now that i think of it, all this women are tiny tiny tiny and don't have bodies like me at all. can anyone think of a slightly more filled out woman with small breasts? hmmmm.
A Cup Lover
If this pic is real, it seems like Paris got um done:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007110639,00.html

But, really, who the hell cares about the slut?!
knorl05
so she's the next pamela anderson. and there will be another one after her. and again and again until the trends change again. are they doing anything to challenge or change the trends? no. but what came first the chix or the egg..? are they icons or merely puppets? i vote for the latter.
knorl05
ps. there's a certain class of people who fawn over fake tits. they're superficial. is being superficial really the ideal? not in my opinion.. i value things like character and talent and intelligence and soul, but hey that's just me. having fake tits does not automatically lessen a woman's quality, but i do feel it brings attention to her body and may make it harder on her to get people to take her seriously.
lux
i think i should suggest the list to her. or atleast tell her that she should increase on the compliments.

i must admit that also i have felt good about paris having small boobs. i'm disapointed that she's gone done that, because i've (sadly) taken comfort in it that she's been this comercially hot bimbo figure with small boobs. there aren't that many of those. and i mean why now? it's not like she has to make more fuss about herself, everyone's looking at her already. strange to be so involved in the doings of someone i don't care that much for:)
shall go to bed, and mine and everyone elses boobs alone
knorl05
i know it lux. i hate hollywood bullshit.. but you are right, it is disappointing. like why bother, what does she need to prove? i cant help but wonder if these hollywood people do half of what they do simply for the power involved behind it. kna what i mean? not only will this bump her celebrity status up further, but there are also tons of people looking up to her questioning their own worth based on her actions. i think a lot of these hollywood types have a god complex.
karategrrl
QUOTE(knorl05 @ May 2 2007, 04:01 AM) *
there's a certain class of people who fawn over fake tits. they're superficial. is being superficial really the ideal? not in my opinion.. i value things like character and talent and intelligence and soul, but hey that's just me. having fake tits does not automatically lessen a woman's quality, but i do feel it brings attention to her body and may make it harder on her to get people to take her seriously.


I couldn't agree more! I personally cannot understand when people value quantity over quality. I once worked in a gym. It was a very unique place to work, rich with people-watching opportunities. rolleyes.gif There were quite a few women there with the obviously fake boobs, and the guys would just fawn all over them. One of the women, I will never forget, had a TERRIBLE job done. Her boobs looked swollen and rock-hard, and worst yet--one nipple pointed skyward while the other pointed to the left. How do I know this? She was showing them off in one of those thin Hanes "wife-beater"-type tank tops that was pretty much see-through. I was practically gagging, while -of course- all the men were gawking. Ick. I wouldn't want to feel a pair of fake boobs, or sleep with a guy with a fake penis. Gross.
karategrrl
Hey, I forgot to mention, in this month's Glamour magazine (USA), there is a body image section with a quote from a guy who says he likes small breasts because they are "cute as buttons." Made me smile.

And ugh, it looks like Paris did the deed. I am SOOO disappointed. I never liked the girl, but (as long as she didn't open her mouth and try to actually SAY anything) I did think she showed just how beautiful and sexy SMALL could be. At least you can still find old pics of her.
dj-bizmonkey
oh paris, how the gross and disgusting have fallen.....more so. it makes me sad, even though she is far from a role model, she was quoted in maxim a few years back when she and nicky did a spread as saying, 'fake boobs are so stripper, i would never have surgery.' i'm not surprised she took the plunge, however.

we've kind of covered this before, but it's worth saying again, the kind of people who are attracted to gargantuan fake tits aren't exactly high up on the evolutionary scale, if ya know what i mean. i don't think we should be concerning ourselves with their opinions.

back to my question from before, can you guys think of any celebrity that is filled out and has small breasts? sometimes i feel like a freakazoid because of my figure, i've only met two other women in the world who have a body similar to mine, i know there have to more out there....
dj-bizmonkey
oh, and i forgot to ask, lux, how are you feeling now? you hangin' in there? i'll check back in once i return from this round of the census.
lux
haven't really talked to my girlfriend lately, she's been abroad because of work for over a week now. her beeing away makes it easier to focus on the compliments i get from others:) feeling a bit better, i'll se what she has to say to me, when i see her tomorrow.

i always find it very hard to see someones implants as a part of her body, the way "natural" breast are. i get this foreign object feeling from them. like wearing glasses.
crinoline
Hey all!
I just got back from a few days at the beach with Crinoboy and friends. Last night, as we were walking along the beach, this guy K., who has hit on me many times in the past, and even commented on my breasts before, had this conversation with J. (Crinoboy). As I was standing beside them, mind you.

K: So tell me, J, are you among the minority of men who actually like small breasts?
J: Sure, small and perky are the best.
K: Yeah, man. Forever young. I dig that.

Ok, how is that an okay thing to say right in front of me? Firstly, he implied that Crinoboy could not possibly be really satisfied with my small breasts. And secondly, my private parts are not up for discussion! This convo really bothered me, and made me self conscious in a way I haven't been since high school.
Ugh.

I am proud of Crinoboy's immediate response, and he made sure to tell me later on how much he appreciates all of my body, just the way it is.
dj-bizmonkey
Thanks for the story, crinoline. It sounds like that dingus,'K,' was just trying to find a way to jab at you because you probably rejected his advances in the past (and with good reason!) It also sounds like you've got a keeper and the fact that he came up with a perfect answer without batting an eye shows you that he actually believes what he says. Where does this guy get off thinking these men are some kind of minority? I think if you could poll the entire earth's population of men that the ass would win out over tits, hands down.
knorl05
crino: that sucks. what a prick. seriously immature. objectifying you like that as though women are made to order. i agree with dj biz for sure. dude was just pissed and his ego was bruised times past when you shot him down. i've noticed they do that... "well she's not ALL that" as their protective mechanism when dealing with being rejected. and since they felt stupid they have like this vengence to do the same to us. idiots, the ones that react that way.. guys that i try to avoid at all costs.
rositachiquita58
Hi to all my small-boobed sisters! I remember this thread from the old bust lounge...SO helpful! Glad to know it is still going strong.

DJ biz and knorl---SO right--and glad you mentioned that explanation cause I wouldn't have thought of it. Crinoline, congrats on having such an awesome boyfriend.


I have been having serious confusion over my body lately. I took my measurements yesterday and I'm 29-26-34...which to me seems incredibly weird. (I'm 4'10 1/2, so I'm not as skinny as it sounds). I have this fear that someday my waistline will be the same as my bustline---and it looks like it's coming true!! Also, I'm 23, so it's not a puberty issue.

Also I was on the Victoria's Secret website (I know, bad idea, right?) to find out how they do bra measurements. You measure around your ribcage, add 5 inches and that equals your Band Size. If your boob-circumference is 0 inches more than your band size than you're a AA...but mine is three inches LESS! What the f*ck does this mean?? Not only that, but I have a bra that makes a gap between itself and my chest, which is supposed to mean that your cups are *too small*.

Has anyone else had this experience? I feel like such a freak of nature...not only that but I play the violin and recently got some custom adjustments made to my instrument because my neck is so long.

It could be a new song: "I want a girl with a long neck and a wide torso!"...sigh...

opheliathemuse
hey rosita =)

I have very similar measurements! 29-32, depending upon my weight of the moment (I fluctuate a few lbs a lot!), 25, 34.

I too have always been confused about the whole bra measuring thing. I have always wanted to order off of figleaves.com, but I can't figure out what size I am! I know I've got to be a AA, but the number tends to elude me.

Crin, what a strange thing to have happen! Glad J is such a peach. =)
lux
i admit, i spend like an hour yesterday trying to figure out what my bra size is. i got cup sizes from AA to B. i'm quite sure i don't have a B-cup. confusig... but i did find out that i should stay away from 34 badwith. i don't really order anything online, so it's not that big of deal for me. now i'm trying to get courage to go underwear shopping. now that i've gone up in weight, and there's a slightly bigger chance finding a bra that fits. but i did find out where they sell princess tam-tam her. they have suchs pretty-pretty things!

rosita - the problem might be that the cups are just in a different place than your breasts. in many bras the cups are very close to each other, and atleast my breasts aren't. and since there's not that much to drag into the cups, the breasts kind of keep pulling the cups to the sides. i hope this makes some sense:)

hurray! for all the nice boyfriends, and you crino:)
karategrrl
QUOTE(lux @ May 25 2007, 09:47 AM) *
rosita - the problem might be that the cups are just in a different place than your breasts. in many bras the cups are very close to each other, and at least my breasts aren't. and since there's not that much to drag into the cups, the breasts kind of keep pulling the cups to the sides. i hope this makes some sense:)


Yes, SO true! Thanks for mentioning this--I thought I was the only one who ever noticed this!!! I have a lot of space between my boobs. After a lifetime of 34A's, I realized I'm better off with a 36 band size--the cups tend to be more widely spaced.

Rosita, I'd suggest trying to find a brand that fits you, and sticking with it. Manufacturers very WIDELY in their fits/designs. I mentioned this once before, but it bears repeating--I buy everyday bras in the teens girls section of Target. (Embarassing, but at least the bras are cheaper than the "grownup" ones!) You might try the teen section of your local store. I find these fit me better than any of the "Adult" A cups--I don't fill those up. The teen bras have just a tad of padding to give me shape, but not so much it looks like padding, ya know?

PS: Rosita, love your new song: "I want a girl with a long neck and a wide torso!" Can you write one for me titled, "Girls with long torsos, small boobs and short legs are hot!" ? laugh.gif
edie52
Yeah, I don't even bother with cup sizes. According to my measumements (34-27-37 on a good day) I'm an AA or less (because my band size is larger than my waist size, it's probably a 29- making me a 34 band, cuz you add 5, right?).

It's nice to hear about others with similar measurements. I like that even though I'm small on top I still have a girly waist-hip ratio.

I haven't tried the teen girl section in a while, but I'm not opposed to it. In the past few years all of my bras have come from either Urban Outfitters (which is kinda like shopping in the teen section) or Calvin Klein. Both make cute little triangle numbers that don't scream "training bra."
dj-bizmonkey
I have had the exact same problem with with cupsize vs. band ratio thing, and I only just now figured out that a 34AA fits me way better. Before, I was trying nonpadded 34A's and finding the cups too big, but if I went to the 32 it just pinched into my skin way too much. I hardly ever wear bras anyway, but in the winter, I like to have something underneath my sweater that gives me shape. Even though they are expensive, Calvin Klein makes awesome nonpadded underwire bras for small-breasted hotties, like us. I personally don't like wearing a super padded bra, i don't want to try and be something i'm not, ya know? but i've found some great designer bras at outlet shops like marshals, tj-max and ross. despite all the other bullshit it propogates, high-fashion always has a place for women with small breasts.

i'm also feeling the waist to hip ratio thing. i'm so small on top, but my stomach is tiny and i have a huge ass. but i'd rather be disproportionate in that way rather than the opposite.

fuck victoria secret, however, their bras are so cheaply made/overpriced and i can NEVER find the right size for me. i've never tried ordering online, but even super stores like target have a better selection than vickies. i was shopping in victoria's secret once and i asked the saleswoman for an a-cup bra that didn't have padding. she looked totally surprised and said, 'i'm not sure we even make one like that, and besides, are you sure you don't want a bra with padding to give you some help?' Help? excuse me, saleslady, but i am perfectly happy with the body that has been bestowed upon me. jeez, i don't want their pity, i don't want to be something i'm not, i just want to be me, with a little lift under my sweater, is that too much to ask? thank you calvin klein, for at least allowing me to be myself in your underwear.
dani837
My boobs are getting bigger again, now that I started taking the pill again! I hope it doesn't mean that I'm gaining weight, dang it. Boob size apart, I loove my boobs (34b or C, depending on the time of the month haha) the only thing that I dislike is that when I lay down to tan, they like get a little droopy on the side. I mean, argh I don't know how to say it! like when I lay down, I look as if I had a plain chest, because all the boob sort of "slides" to the side. Do you girlies understand what I'm saying? If so, is this normal? If you don't understand please say so so I can try to explain it better! (its 7am and my english sucks!)
dj-bizmonkey
dani, i think that 'droopage' happens to all ladies, big or small. believe it or not, alot of your breast tissue is contained even in your upper armpit (your supposed to check there when you do you monthly breast exam). i guess gravity just drags them down. i wouldn't, however, classify a 34C as 'small' in my book. if that's small, then i must be microscopic! i don't know if there is a cure for the side sliding....maybe try a bikini top with underwire so you get some support? i'm sure you have the same problem when you're having sex in the missionary position as well. i've found that girl on top not only feels empowering, it makes your breasts look even more gorgeous from above, big or small, bouncing wildly around. if you're feeling less than sexy in the bedroom due to droopage or size, that position can help restore confidence.
greenbean
I just wanted to pop in and say that I finally found a cute bra that fits me!!! I'm a 34AA and I usually have to shop in the training-bra section...which is cool cuz its cheaper, but the styles tend to be real dull and you know, I've always longed to be able to wear a sexy lacy bra that they only make for the big girls.

Anyway, the brand is "Intimissimi" and they are Italian. I found it at Victoria's Secret (I guess they are starting to carry other brands?) and the only reason i was there was for the underwear sale...I agree Victoria's Secret never has bras in small cups unless there are lined with gi-normous pillows. no thank you! I mean yeah, what the f*ck? Is it so shocking that us small-busties just want to enhance our natural shape rather than fake it entirely? Oh, and is it so wrong that maybe we want somehing cute too? Or is that only for girls with cleavage? I used to think I was sol,..

But now!! I have my first pretty bra! Its pale pink with delicate eyelit mesh, embroidered brown straps and a brown bow in the center.. and only minimal padding for form! Yeah!!!!
greenbean
"Girls with long torsos, small boobs and short legs are hot!" --Karategirl, thats totally me, but add 'broad shoulders' to the list!

I adore this model simply because she rocks the short-legged, wide shouder, small-boob look so well: http://lithiumpicnic.fotki.com/prints_for_...nearedroom.html
crinoline
Regarding the sliding-to-the-side effect. When Crinoboy first saw me naked lying down he was shocked to discover that my breasts did not hover over my chest like hard little half-spheres. I think that comes from seeing too many fake boobs in porn, that do not move like a natural body should. Now, however, he loves the way my chest looks from any angle, and he knows that all he has to do is reach to the side and scoop him up some boobies, lol. I'm a 32A (would be 30A, but they don't make those in my part of the world) so when I lie down I really am completely flat. If it really bothers you though, then yes, an underwire top is the best answer, although I find those hard to find in my size. I'm sure many styles would be available in 34C (which is NOT small, btw).

greenbean- what is the price range for that brand, Intimissimi? (which I first read as "Infinitesimal" lol, how Freudian of me) Your new bra sounds too cute!
greenbean
The bra I got was on sale for $25. Normally I think they run up into the $40 range, which I think is a lot but, you know, I'm used to the $10 training bras at Mervyns! This bra is my first "adult" bra that cups my breasts properly. I have a couple other adult bras but they all have space between me and the cup, like if someone hugs me it might indent!
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