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crinoline
"Buttercups, I just wanted to chime in and say I've been following this thread (and have posted here quite regularly in the past). I haven't posted lately because you've been getting great advice from everyone else, but one thing I wanted to suggest is that maybe you should try to replace the negative vocabulary in your head with something more positive. "
-ditto, edie. The way you speak to and about yourself can make a huge difference emotionally. I have battled body dysmorphia since puberty, with periodic bouts of bulimia. Most of the time this is actually triggered by the language I use in my own head (fat, ugly, etc.). It really does help to make a conscious effort to change the vocabulary to positive words like sexy, fabulous, strong, etc. I firmly believe that a woman can be totally sexy regardless of chest size, and sometimes I just need to remind myself of that with positive affirmations.

I'm so glad that you and your bf had such a wonderful experience together. My boy hates padding too (he calls it "boob armor"). Try to replace some of the negative language in your head with your bf's sweet words, that can help too.

I also wanted to say that I really identify with your situation with your sister, Buttercups. I have a best friend and honorary sister whom I grew up with who is very tall, thin, tan, and has C cups. So basically the opposite of me. I sometimes have a tendency to magnify my own body issues in my head when I'm around her. We went through a year in high school where I avoided her because of that. I didn't resent her so much as I resented myself for feeling that way. Recently we got drunk together and she started going off on how she's always been jealous of me, and how badly she's always wanted to be tiny and blond. I was completely floored by it. It made me realize that everyone has their body issues, no matter how "perfect" they may appear to others.
I guess it helped push me to the realization that this is the only body I get, and I may as well enjoy it as thouroughly as possible (my bf seconds that, lol).

and lastly, you ladies rock my socks off with how supportive and insightful you are!! (((hugs to all)))
angie_21
When it comes to vocabulary.. I've always been one to try to see things in a positive light. We were once talking about crazy names our society has made up for breasts, and hopw they don't really apply to small boobs "melons?" give me a break. Those barely apply to anyone! "fun-bags" was one that I felt sounded creepy. I don't have fun-bags anyways, I said, mine are more like giggle-bags. Oops, well, my boyfriend thought that sounded so cute, it's still stuck with us.
karategrrl
Just catching up on the posts...

buttercups, AWESOME story!! I'm so glad.

About the inserts, it made me remember a little thing from my past...I was gettin' jiggy with this woman I was seeing. The evening was planned and so I was all dressed in a hot little number. At the last minute, I put little inserts in the cups b/c I didn't fill them out. Well, I was trying to be all sexy as I undressed in front of her, and when I took off my little outfit, the pads flew out onto the bed with the rest of the stuff, and I was utterly humiliated.

...until she, without a word or any indication of any negative reaction at all, just picked up all my stuff, and the pads, and proceeded to ravage me. And she had pretty large breasts. It was a small gesture, but just goes to show if someone's really into you, they truly don't give a shit. Afterward, she thanked me for my efforts of getting all dolled up. wink.gif There was never any mention of the pads.
strongirl
Wow, Buttercups, what a wonderful experience you had with your bf and I am so happy for you! Beautiful, moving, and awesome! It sounds like both of you are working through some stuff and it sounds like you can really help each other and grow together. That's what relationships are all about.

I agree with Edie that it's still important to have your sense of self-worth come from within. That's the goal. At the same time, I also agree with Crinoline, that you should "Try to replace some of the negative language in your head with your bf's sweet words". One of the great things about falling in love is if you are open, you can glimpse yourself through the other person's eyes, which will most likely be a better view of yourself than the one in your head. Then you can work to internalize that vision, so that your self-image is enhanced by it, but not dependent on the other person to provide it. I hope that makes sense.

From the beautiful things your bf said and the way he said them, he not only finds your body attractive but he reveres it. Bask in that and try to see yourself the way he sees you.

Ain't love grand? (happy sigh)

starship
really happy for you buttercups:). and slightly jealous of your awesome man....

any UK busties...a program called "Boob Job: my big decision" is on BBC3 at 9pm tonight (short notice but it'll probably be repeated a few times during the next week too). About two teenage girls deciding whether to get a boob job. might be worth a watch
buttercups
Thanks girls, and I will try to refrain from a lot of the negative self-talk. I guess everyone around me has always called me flat, but that doesn't mean I have to call myself that. I know I shouldn't fully validate myself by what a guy says about me, but I am going to remember a lot of the things he says when I feel down on myself. I shouldn't rely on it entirely, but it does help to make things easier so I'll take it for now. Karategrrl I love your story, anytime anyone pays attention to small breasts I want to hear about it- its like a victory for all of us!
KeraBear
Yay buttercups! smile.gif I am quite happy for you. Having a boyfriend who loves and appreciates my tiny booblets has improves the way I see myself. Of course, we shouldn't have to rely on others to validate ourselves and our bodies, but it sure helps. wink.gif Good times...

Oh yes, and i LOVE the new SN
buttercups
Thanks KeraBear!

I went to my little cousins party today and was doing fine until my sister ran up and told me that my cousin is so excited bc since going on the pill recently her boobs have gotten huge. she did go from a small B to a large C in a short period of time and was spilling out of her bathing suit- a feeling i have never gotten to have. Idk why but it makes me feel even more inadequate and self-conscious. I guess this is partly bc we are all going away together and now im going to be the only one who is even close to small chested and def the only one who cant even fill out an A cup. I wonder what happened to me in my family that i am like this. All these big busted girls also like to flaunt their chests and talk about their boobs a lot- which always leaves me feeling so self-conscious and left out. I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body.

in other news, was anyone on here ever hesitant to start exercising? i was for years bc i was terrified that i would lose any tiny breast tissue i had, but then i started getting a gut and really really couldnt stand my body back at the beginning of may. i decided that i already got pretty much nothing on top so id rather be fit and flat than fat and started walking/jogging. ive been doing it consistently and now can go for about 3.5 miiles and i havent really lost too much up there i dont think-though u cant really notice anyways i guess. were any of you scared to exercise?
angie_21
I know the family situaiton is annoying - I used to feel that way too about a few of my cousins, like, why did they get the boob gene and I didn't? But you know, it's life. One of my friends always said that I must've stolen her "tall genes" because I was 5'7 and she was 4'10. For a while she was trying to get growth hormone treatment while she was still young enough for it to affect her bones. While I was busy worrying about where my boobs had gone as a teenager, my other friends were complaining because they weren't tall enough, weren't skinny enough, weren't perky enough, their noses were too big, etc. But by the time we're past puberty, it's just the way things are. We can gain or lose weight, but we can't even choose where the weight goes. All my friends kept saying they wanted my body because at the time it was super cool to have hip bones that stuck out visibly. So if you see what I'm saying.. there's nothing to feel left out about. Everyone hates their bodies. and that's very sad. Yeah, people talk about boobs sometimes, but if you keep focusing on it, it's going to keep making you depressed. You can just start talking about how awesome your legs look, and probably some of them will be jealous of that!

And you went back to the negative self-talk! You have a body just like everyone else, and to say you have no body based on one part of it, is over-obsessing about your chest size. Especially when he likes your boobs anyways. Every time you say things like that, you have to ask yourself why am I saying this? Why am I letting myself believe that when it's really not true? And in terms of looking at other girls.. guys will look at other girls who are pretty, but when they do it has nothing to do with how hot their own girlfriend is in comparison to that girl. Guys like to look at pretty girls, end of story. All different kind of pretty girls, not just girls with their boobies hanging out for everyone to see. Hopefully your boyfriend won't be checking out your family though, because that's a bit gross!

If working out makes you happy, go for it! I've found it really helps me love and appreciate my body. I've also found that, despite my hopes and fears, weight gain an dloss doesn't do much to my chest size. Like I said, I gained almost 30 pounds in the last few years and my boobs grew, not as much as the rest of me, but now it's 36AA instead of 34AA so they are bigger. And you know what.. I really don't care whether my belly's flat except occasionally when wearing tight pants and not being able to wear a tight shirt at the same time. I also don't don't care if my boobs fall right off if I lose 20 pounds. Either way, I have my long legs and my boot-ay, and I have my good health. I'm still within the healthy range, I'd like to have more endurance but I'm in better shape than some of my friends and family, pretty average I guess. Most days, I just don't think about it. I would sure miss my boobies if I lost weight, but I also miss the flat stomach I used to have.
anna k
My sister has A-sized breasts and I have triple-D-sized breasts. She most definetly has looked at me and said "What happened?!" or joking that I should give her half my breast fat and we'd be about even. She currently wants to get B-sized implants, because she hates her small breasts and wants to feel better. Part of me understands her choice and dilemma, but I also think she's jumping on the bandwagon because plastic surgery is so normalized and mainstream now.

I've found that working out helped me lose some fat in my breasts, so they don't feel as big. I'm not looking forward to any sagging as I get older, but that's the nature of having larger breasts.

buttercups, you writing "I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body" sounds terrible! Your bf loves you, I can tell from your posts. He adores you, and those thoughts are just bring you down. You're a lovely little gem, I'd hate for you to feel like that.
Persephone3
I was surfing the net and I came across this message board where men were complaining about their height. They sounded like so many women who feel bad about their chest size. They said things like "no girl looks at me when I walk into a club" or when online dating they saw many entries of women who requested a man be over 6' tall. These men felt TERRIBLE about themselves! I thought that any woman who would discount a man beceause of height would be missing out on a lot of good men.

Buttercup - that story about your boyfriend is awesome. He sounds like a really nice man. And he obviously doesn't want to lose you. How romantic!!!

BTW - I also run everday. For me that is probably an advantage to having smaller breasts. I don't want to get too skinny, but I do feel better when my figure is more 'balanced' through exercise. So that keeps me motivated to hit the treadmill daily, which keeps me healthier. I also just started working on my pecs (about 2-3 weeks). I don't think I would start to see results yet, but I'll let you know if I do.

Also, I'm reading here about the focus on specific body parts and I can't help but think how easy it would be to change the perception of yourself (well, maybe not easy). For instance I could describe myself to you in a way that would make me sound really unattractive, if I broke myself down into parts. But the truth is the overall picture of myself is very attractive for I am not just a sum of all my parts, neither are you! And that is not taking character into consideration, which makes us all so special and unique.

chicaloca
QUOTE(buttercups @ Jul 22 2009, 10:08 PM) *
...and then he looks at me with this really serious look and says "I love your body". I felt so shy and embarrassed that I just put my head down on his shoulder and he whispered it twice more in my ear. Then he said "I could stare at your naked body all day long" and he was looking directly at my (not-so-existent) breasts. I felt really shy again, but it also made me feel like maybe he doesnt hate my body. He also pays a lot of attention to my chest during sex, which I never quite understood but of course have never exactly argued with him about it. When all that excitement was over I was laying next to him and he told me to look him in the eye and he said "youre really beautiful". Well after all that I decided that I'm not going to give this guy up, so the breakup was off. He also told me that he likes the way I look much better without all that padding and that he loves just being able to feel my chest with these new bras.


First of all, wow, Buttercups, he's quite a catch! I'm so happy for you because of that awesome story!

Now, that being said, yes, the negative self-talk has to stop. I know it's easier said than done, god knows I should stop such nonsense sometimes. But really, with what your boyfriend said, I think you should give yourself more credit.

It sucks when our family members have something that we wish we had AND they talk about it - it can certainly make you feel out of place and maybe inadequate. But when you're with them, in your bikini, please do focus on your good qualities, look at yourself as a whole. I think you mentioned in an earlier post that you're a size 0. So I bet you can rock a bikini! Most women feel very self conscious because of fat rolls. I wear bikinis, I love them, but I usually feel self-conscious about my belly and cellullite... and somewhat about my small boobies. Especially when I go to the beach with my boyfriend and sometimes I see other girls who're thinner and have bigger breasts. But then this year my boyfriend literally couldn't keep his eyes away from me which was somewhat embarrassing because ahem... he got a bit turned on and you know how trunks don't hide some *things* too well. And then he got a bit pissed off because other guys started checking me out... because according to him, my wide hips and small waist look awesome in a bikini. So yes, we get very self conscious, especially in bathing suits, but sometimes there's no need.

Maybe these thin, busty girls felt self conscious about their lack of booty, or just about any other thing. But that's just something that we feel. It's hard to feel great in a bikini sometimes, but there are great styles that enhance any body shape. You're very thin, so flaunt it! I bet you have amazing legs and an amazing tummy. So show them off. Try not to focus so much on the boobies. I bet you look gorgeous. And remember the amazing words your boyfriend told you, especially these: "I love your body" and "I could stare at your naked body all day long". He means it. This means that you have an awesome body. FLAUNT IT! tongue.gif

Boys will be boys and when a pretty girl walks by they look. But they look and it passes. It can give us a bit of an uneasy feeling, but then they look at you and they feel a whole lot of other emotions. Just like if you happen to see a hottie at the beach or the pool, but you just give him a quick glance and then it's over.

On another topic, I always feel bad when guys suffer about height or being bald, because sometimes they get so self conscious and resent women so much... it's sad, I don't know sad.gif
Persephone3
QUOTE(anna k @ Jul 26 2009, 11:32 AM) *
My sister has A-sized breasts and I have triple-D-sized breasts. She most definetly has looked at me and said "What happened?!" or joking that I should give her half my breast fat and we'd be about even. She currently wants to get B-sized implants, because she hates her small breasts and wants to feel better. Part of me understands her choice and dilemma, but I also think she's jumping on the bandwagon because plastic surgery is so normalized and mainstream now.

I've found that working out helped me lose some fat in my breasts, so they don't feel as big. I'm not looking forward to any sagging as I get older, but that's the nature of having larger breasts.

buttercups, you writing "I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body" sounds terrible! Your bf loves you, I can tell from your posts. He adores you, and those thoughts are just bring you down. You're a lovely little gem, I'd hate for you to feel like that.


Hi Anna K. Is that you in your avatar?
strongirl
Buttercups, you are getting some very caring and wise advice in here! Re-read Angie's post! Try to replace the negative thoughts in your head with your bf's adoring words and the insightful perspectives of the women in this thread. Toward that end, maybe you should ignore this next bit from me....

On the busty girls who won't shut up about boobs, I really never experienced that until the past few years when I met this girl who's part of a social group that I only hang with occasionally. It took me a while to realize she's really an asshole in a wide variety of ways but it didn't take long to realize she's obsessed with making sure everyone notices her boobs. Of the few dozen times I've seen her, I think she's failed to mention her boobs twice (probably she did, while I was in the bathroom or something). It's ridiculous, she makes sure her boobs come up in casual conversation everywhere she goes! At lunch, in bars, at parties...you can be sure Courtney will bring up her boobs. After I realized this was such a persistent pattern, I started amusing myself by imagining just getting it out of the way when I first see her, like "Oh hi, Courtney! Nice to see you and your boobs! How have you and the big girls been lately?" and maybe adding on something like "Looks like they might be hanging a little low, you lose some weight?" or "I see you've got them cantilevered and on display tonight, making sure nobody's gonna miss seeing those puppies, eh? (wink)"

Once I started doing this in my mind, the amusement value of seeing her outweighs the annoyance. I know it's a bit mean but I don't share it with anyone else, just laugh quietly to myself. Then I wait to see how long it takes for her to mention them...sometimes I play a game by guessing the time and seeing how close I get. (She usually beats my estimates.)

I'm not sure this is good advice like most of what you get in here, Buttercups - it's not wise, or Zen, or even kind, it may not work if you love these girls and they're not assholes, and you should probably ignore it - but if they get on your nerves too much with the big boob talk, you could enjoy a nasty inner snicker at their expense like I do with Courtney.




crinoline
buttercups- I do worry about how I exercise since I don't want to lose the breast fat that I have. I turn more to dance than jogging or similar high impact cardio because I don't want to "burn" too much fat. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any way to target and "spot-lose" my belly and thighs without affecting the rest of my body. If I lose even five pounds the ribs between my breasts become very prominent and that makes me self-conscious. So I focus more on toning than losing I guess.

everyone else - y'all are still awesome! (and thanks for stopping by, annak! It's always nice to hear from our bustier Busty friends too)
buttercups
Thanks ladies, you really do all rock and make me feel so much better- pretty soon i hope to have very little to vent about! I'm going to take all of your advice and really put it to use at the beach next week. I am going to try for the first time ever to not get down on myself and to just enjoy myself rather than getting all upset. Its funny really its like clockwork- I get upset every year when we go to the beach bc of my tiny chest and I ALWAYS let it get to me- this year no way! I'm going to try to kick myself in the ass if I try to think something negative. I'm also gonna go shopping for some cute clothes and little skirts to make me feel a little cuter when we're there. And if all else fails hahah I'm going to try out your game Strongirl- that is hilarious! It's true that these girls aren't assholes like Courtney, but sometimes it does feel as though they are flaunting their boobs at my expense- and maybe they don't realize it a lot. Or when we're watching tv theyll say something like "oh ew that girl is so flat!" - but next time I hear that I'm gonna say "yeah i think she's totally hot!"

Angie_21 you're right, I did go back to the negative self-talk and I really really have to work on that! Persephone3 that was very interesting about the guys and the height- it makes me want to run up to the next smaller guy I see and tell him how hot he is (though i doubt the bf would appreciate that haha). I've always tried to think of something that would make guys feel the same way we do that would be on more equal footing. I mean the classic example is penis size but like many have pointed out that is not revealed until the exact moment. I think height is an issue on more equal footing with small breasts bc we can immediately see that a guy is short in stature. I have thought many short guys are hot though- so there have to be just as many guys who think we're hot.

Chicaloca- thanks for trying to help me focus on the positive. I'm not exactly thin I just have more of a small frame, but I'm learning to work it with the help of you wonderful ladies! And Anna K what you said was so sweet, thank you. You sound like you're a great sister just like mine! She is lucky to have you!

As far as working out I wish so much that there was a way to target just tummy fat and cellulite- but of course since I started running I've kinda been losing weight all over. I think I like my body better like this though, my big stomach and tiny chest were lookin kinda funny together- and my stomach is far from being as rock hard as gwen stefani's, but its def improved with exercise. I just don't want to lose anymore of my small chest!

I went to the bank today in my barely padded bra (its really cute and only $20 from target- its called Gilligan & O'Malley gel push-up bra. I wear a 32A and I'm actually a AA, so it does run small if anyone wants to try it out. It gives a real nice rounded shape- not pointy like a lot of padded bras bc its soft satin-y padding. The back is also all lacy which I think is really pretty- but enough about the bra haha). So anyways I was filling out my deposit form and I noticed this pretty bank teller girl was kind of staring at me. I took it as a usual "girl-sizing-up-another-girl" thing and thought "ugh well shes really pretty and probably thinking how small my chest is" . I went up to deposit my checks and she was my teller. I realized when I saw her up close that her chest was just as small as mine-rock on! I hope that maybe I secretly encouraged her to flaunt her small boobies like she encouraged me. And I had also thought she was pretty before and after I saw that she had a small chest like mine- I guess we smallies really are hot! So if any of you girls work at a bank well maybe I saw you and you're gorgeous! <3
strongirl
Hey, Buttercups, that is such an awesome story about the bank teller! You're expanding your appreciation for what's beautiful by appreciating others...and including yourself in your expanded definition! I have always found that when I truly appreciate someone else's beauty, not in a jealous or competitive way but truly appreciate it, whether or not they look like me or very different, I somehow feel better about myself, too. More relaxed, more generous, more confident. It's good.

On working out, there are some great posts on this if you read back a ways in this forum. Karategrrl and I are both dedicated to working out and Angie_21 has talked about how using your body to do fun and challenging activities helps you focus on and appreciate things other than your boobs. As for just the "chest vanity" aspect of it, work your pecs and get that "muscle cleavage" that Karategrrl and I enjoy having! It thrusts what you do have up and forward and makes a nice shadow between your breasts that really photographs well. And Crinoline, I know that washboard chest look of which you speak. Working my pecs these past several years has helped me finally get rid of that after decades of hating it.
anarch
Just popping in to cheer you on, Buttercups. Awesome stories about your bf and the bank teller and the work you're doing on this!

Also, y'all are giving awesome advice and support. Beauty AND brains too!
hellotampon
QUOTE(buttercups @ Jul 27 2009, 09:39 PM) *
but sometimes it does feel as though they are flaunting their boobs at my expense


I hope you know how silly that is.
buttercups
Thanks Anarch and Strongirl.

And yes that may seem silly but when they deliberately talk about how big their boobs are and then point out how small other girls are right in front of me when they can see i got none-well it is kind of flaunting. and i admit that sometimes i think they dont mean to, but other times it can be pretty obvious that they do. Sometimes girls do put other girls down to make themselves feel better and yes that is silly, but it is also true. It especially holds true bc my sister knows how sensitive i am about having such a small chest and how much it upsets me on almost a daily basis, so for her to shove her boobs in my face and put down small girls it does make me feel bad. I know she would never want to hurt me, but she has always let me know that she has big boobs and i have none. I was by no means indicating that girls with big boobs are always flaunting them at us small girls' expense, i was merely pointing out that once in awhile it does happen in my own family from personal experience.

On a similar note, I was at a party with my sister and we were all having a silly discussion about our celebrity "girl crushes". I said that I think Rachel McAdams is adorable and def my girl crush. My sister said "ew no way, shes not hot. I like sexy voluptuous girls with curves, like Scarlet Johanssen". Then I said "well i like Kate Hudson" and my sister was like "oh yeah, she is hot". stupid little convo but i felt like i was able to point out that yes voluptuous girls are hot, but small girls with less curves can be hot too!
angie_21
oooooohh I am so jealous of Scarlet Johansen. She is gorgeous in a very dramatic and feminine way. But you know who else is, Cate Blanchett

I had a friend who always talked about boobs too. For her, it was because she didn't feel confident about her body at all, but she knew she got attention from boys because fo her chest, so she brought it up whenever she was feeling fat or bad about her body. So she was talking down other people to make herself feel better. I was one of the people she was insulting, but honestly I know she never even realised it, because she was too busy feeling bad about herself. I try to always see the beauty in others and myself, because it is the only way to really appreciate everyone for who they are. When my friends talk negatively about others & themselves, I just point out what's good and beautiful, and then stay out of the conversation. I know its frustrating to try to just "ignore" when they talk about boobs, because it is a bit hurtful no matter what, but if you are strong then you can realize it has nothing to do with you or anyone else with small boobs, it is about themselves and their need to feel beautiful.

I am really happy that you are feeling better and more comfortable. That's a big step! I know its hard to stay strong, and there are days you won't feel strong, but once you learn to love yourself then it is easy to recover from bad days! *hugs*
KeraBear
Off topic, but I was watching a British comedian on Conan the other night and he said, "A lot of women are upset because their beasts are two different sizes... but look on the bright side, one is bigger than the other!"

I had to chuckle at that one. wink.gif Seems like a typical male response. rolleyes.gif
anna k
Persephone3, that is the Danish actress Anna Karina in my avatar, who acted in French films in the sixties. I thought she was lovely, and my real pics are in the say cheese thread.

Thank you buttercups! And that bank teller story was really great to read, I'm glad you feel so good.
buttercups
Hey ladies, I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow and I'll be gone for a week- please pray for me that I get through this without a small boobie meltdown! wish me luck!
xoxo buttercups
Persephone3
QUOTE(anna k @ Jul 30 2009, 01:15 PM) *
Persephone3, that is the Danish actress Anna Karina in my avatar, who acted in French films in the sixties. I thought she was lovely, and my real pics are in the say cheese thread.

Thank you buttercups! And that bank teller story was really great to read, I'm glad you feel so good.


Hi Anna k
I googled Anna Karina, and you are right she is lovely! I have to ask my sister about her (she lives in Paris). I'm not sure where the 'say cheese' thread is, but I am sure you are lovely too.
Aithinne
QUOTE(buttercups @ Jul 26 2009, 01:01 AM) *
I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body.


Stop it, Stop it, STOP IT!!!!! These are the thoughts that you really must avoid if you truly want to feel sexy and be sexy in the itty bitty boobie body you have. You DO have a body, and I'm POSITIVE that if you go to the beach, there will be at least 30 women utterly jealous of YOUR body. Part of the process is to change your thought process and not allow yourself to get away with thinking that way. You need to be your own thought coach and be aware that your thought is negative and then stop the negative thought. Then think about something you do like about yourself. Replace the negative with the positive.

You had a great experience with your bf when you had sex. Think about that instead of all these hypothetical situations where you're less than.

We're all rooting for you!
Aithinne
By the way... I missed you all!

And I was thinking about that topic with the shorter men and how we can relate to them from the female end of the spectrum. I kind of had a vision of what it would be like for the small boobie girls to have a party with the short and balding guys, so maybe we could finally see that everyone's got something society deems unattractive. I wonder if it would boost everyone's esteem overall.

And I do love Rachel McAdams and always thought she was stunning. You know, if I think about it, the women I find most beautiful tend to be smaller on the boobie side.. Rachel McAdams, Kate Beckinsale (whooee! smokin woman and I'm straight!), Evangeline Lily...
Persiflager
*delurks*

Kate Beckinsale's ass in Underworld = most extreme hotness ever!

*relurks*
oceangirl
Has anyone ordered bras online? If so from what sites? Good experiences? Bad experiences? I really want to develop a website that caters to women with size A.
Persephone3
Hi girls, Really quiet around here lately!
I was just wondering what you girls thought of women who get breast implants. Part of me understands and part of me feels as though they are selling out.
I hear so many men say they don't like them. I generally believe that to be true, even though they practically break their necks when they see them. But seeing is not desiring.
I also hear a lot of men asign a lot of really negative characteristics to women with breast implants (i.e. shallow and insecure). It's almost as if you are exchanging one problem with another. Then again, there are so many men who complain abouth the problems of women with large breasts (i.e. sagging and strectch marks). Women cannot win no matter what we do. I guess the answer is to just except yourself as you are. Not always easy.
Persephone3
QUOTE(oceangirl @ Aug 7 2009, 03:27 AM) *
Has anyone ordered bras online? If so from what sites? Good experiences? Bad experiences? I really want to develop a website that caters to women with size A.

I never ordered bras online and I probably never will. As a smaller breasted girl, I have never needed a fitting. I can basically go into any store and find my size by feel, more then by band and cup size. It seems to differ greatly by make.
What I would like is lingerie that has a bit of support without wearing a bra. I have yet to find that.
Persephone3
Oh! and by the way (I just can't stop posting!). I was at Lord and Taylor the other day and I found a whole rack of AA bras. The most impressive thing about them was that they had a bit of push-up without being too padded. And they were SOO pretty!!
Aithinne
QUOTE(Persephone3 @ Aug 7 2009, 08:51 PM) *
Oh! and by the way (I just can't stop posting!). I was at Lord and Taylor the other day and I found a whole rack of AA bras. The most impressive thing about them was that they had a bit of push-up without being too padded. And they were SOO pretty!!


Yay! Victory for smallies! It makes me so happy to hear you found a whole rack of non-super padded bras. Aaaaah, I'm in bliss at the thought..... Two thumbs up Lord and Taylor.
Aithinne
I found this gem of a quote here while searching the net:



"PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!!!!

...itty bitty living space!"



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! LOVE IT. ROTFLMAO. Seriously, this is my new mantra. Oh how I love Aladdin.. For buttercups or anyone having a bad boobie day, please think of Genie and repeat the above quote. I swear it will make you feel better. I don't think I've ever found anything that can lighten a dark boobie mood than this quote I just found. OMG. Small titty high two to that person!
angie_21
QUOTE(Persephone3 @ Aug 7 2009, 08:34 PM) *
I also hear a lot of men asign a lot of really negative characteristics to women with breast implants (i.e. shallow and insecure). It's almost as if you are exchanging one problem with another. Then again, there are so many men who complain abouth the problems of women with large breasts (i.e. sagging and strectch marks).


Persephone, I think you need some new male friends! lol When guys I'm with start up that kind of conversation, I either ask them how they think we feel about their penis shape/size, or if they're not worth trying to rehabilitate, I just leave.

But anyways... some women get implants, it's their choice, but I think it's sad as a social phenomenon in general becuase it shows that people are so strongly affected by a single physical aspect of themselves that they are willing to have expensive and often deforming surgeries performed just to feel like they look better. Even without scarring and hardening problems, a lot of women look like they've have large tennis balls implanted under their nipples. I mean, as soon as the clothes are off, it's not usually a pretty sight, unless they had moderately sized-boobs to begin with and only asked for a moderate size increase. I don't judge the women who get this done, they either have some emotional problems or maybe they are just shallow, but whose fault is it that so many women feel like getting implants will make them happier? I feel lucky that I found the strength not to want to do this to myself, but when I was 15 I had already planned to get implants by the time I was 22, if they didn't grow before then. I don't know what changed and why, maybe I just saw enough of how bad implants really look as well as gaining a lot of self-esteem, but thankfully I changed my mind by the time I had the money.
buttercups
Hey ladies, I just got back from the beach and I have a couple stories. I went in prepared for the worst and I guess that was the way to go because it went pretty damn well. We first got to our rented house and there was a scale in the bathroom. I havent weighed myself in ages and I've been running a lot lately so I thought what the hell and jumped on the scale. It read 95 lbs. At first I was pretty shocked bc who the hell weighs 95 lbs at 25?? It seemed kind of disturbing. But then I thought to myself "well how big do you expect my boobs to be at 95 lbs?!" and I sort of dropped the usual blame on myself that I carry for having such tiny AA cups. I mean if i'm smaller than everyone else at the beach they cant expect my boobs to be as big as theirs right? I felt a little better about myself.

Then I put on my padded VS bikini and hit the beach. You girls would be happy to hear what I saw there- there were more hot small-boobed chicks than I've ever seen before! There were more sexy women with A cups or smaller walking around than even more average C or B cups! They made me want to tear out my padding and flaunt these AAs with pride. There was even one instance where there was a girl whose breasts were at least as teeny as mine and she was wearing this gorgeous bandeau halter bikini- and she looked goooood! We were all sitting on the beach and I commented that I liked her bathing suit. My mom and sister were like "no, it only draws attention to the fact that shes flat" and with everyone and my bf right there I said , " well i think she looks hot and having small breasts is NOT a flaw!"- everyone shut up then : )

I did not feel inadequate most of the time. I felt cute and I'm lovin my new fitter body -even if my chest is small. I still wore padding around my family all week, but I didnt let everyones big boobs rattle my confidence. Im a tiny girl, i got tiny breasts, what more do people want or expect from me? I guess seeing my weight was kind of like a reality check that I desperately needed. But I did see girls of all shapes and sizes rockin small boobs of A cups or less- and they all looked freakin hot as hell! I thought about all of you when I saw them, it was great! love to all <3
strongirl
Yippee, Buttercups! I can't tell you how beautiful and inspirational it is to read of your beach vacation and freshly pumped up self-esteem and small-booby appreciation! That is just truly awesome!!! I am doing the happy dance for you. That you can see those other hot girls with small breasts and appreciate them, and that you can resonate with that and appreciate your own lovely body, is just...beautiful!

It's late and I'm tired but a quick story to share that sort of connects with your beach experience and the recent comments in here re. implants. I was running on the beach and passed a couple walking hand in hand. She was very dolled up and had very large implants. And her freakin' bf was gawking at me! To the point that it was totally obvious and obnoxious and as I passed them, I saw her give him a hurt and upset look. I wanted to just smack the shit out of him. I felt like saying "Look what this girl has done to herself to keep your eyes on her and you can't even give her the courtesy of not ogling other girls on the beach. Asshole!" And at the same time I felt like geez, thank heaven I've never gone for the implants cuz if I did and then my bf was ogling a small-breasted girl looking like I used to look like, I'd just be totally demoralized and bummed out.

angie_21
((buttercups)) super-awesome! good for you, and I hope you had lots of fun!

It could have been one of us in that bikini that you guys defended, lol (not me, sadly I was working all last week *sigh*)
crinoline
that's awesome, buttercups! It's good to see you be so positive!!

I went to the beach recently with a group of friends and all of us were A or AA cups. I kept looking around and thinking how beautiful the other girls looked in their bikinis (I'm still sticking to my one piece though lols). We definitely caught some male attention too (not that that's the point, but it was nice to be appreciated). My boyfriend kept saying how happy he was to "show me off". It was nice to see small breasts on all different body types too.

((((good booby vibes for all))))
purplestain
All the guys I know are going nuts because the GORGEOUS Milla Jovovich supposedly gets naked in The Perfect Getaway. Now, I'm not saying you should go out and see the movie, because it looks terrible, but let's add another one to the small-hotties list.
http://wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs...jovovich_10.jpg
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/millajovovich.jpg
http://mytakes.files.wordpress.com/2009/07...red-dress-2.jpg
edie52
I love Milla Jovovich's look and her confidence. She already appeared/posed nude a bunch of times. NSFW!

hi
dude
bombshell
edie52
Oh, and congrats, buttercups! You're really coming into your own very quickly! Even if you do experience setbacks, you've made so much headway that you'll be able to get through it. I hope your relatives are getting the message that it's NOT OKAY to make comments like that, because they're generally hurtful to women and specifically to you.
buttercups
Thanks so much ladies, ugh I was feeling so good but then again I do experience setbacks like you say edie52. I went out tonight and got a little tipsy and I'm a pretty happy drunk, but somehow me and my bf got in a fight. I stupidly tried to use my feminine wiles to win him back and have passionate hot makeup sex- but he was having no part in it. I was all dressed up and feeling pretty decent about myself, but anytime I would try to come-on to him he would just push me away, nothing worked. I know that he was mad at me and maybe I should just take this to mean that he's not a sleaze-bag who just wants to have sex, but instead I had to make it all about my body and my breasts most of all. My playful mood was soon turned after being pushed away for the 50th time and I got really angry and started yelling at him that he must not be attracted to me. Then I went on some crazy girl rant about how if I had big boobs I'm sure he'd be all over me and because I have none of that good stuff to force in his face I must be easy to reject. I demanded he bring me home and was almost in tears- it must have been a mix of the alcohol and everything but part of me really does believe that if I only had at least something more than these AA's I could get him to want me even if hes in his most pissed-off mood. He dropped me off at my house and I stormed out of the car even though he was calling me to stop and talk and so here I am now. ugh i hate how insecure i can be at times. I just wanted him to be unable to resist me I guess, even if he was mad. I just want to be like every other woman who easily has the upper hand and can properly seduce a man. I'm sure once I fully sober up I'll have a different take on this, but when I get rejected I instantly blame it on the boobs (though i should blame it on the booze like the jamie foxx song...). anyways, im gonna try to go to bed and not talk to him til tomorrow. I still want to keep it positive and I'm trying so hard not to hate my body- so no one think I gave up! I hope someday I can be as inspiring to someone as you all have been to me. And I can already say those pics of Milla are cheerin me up a little bit already. Bet she can woo any man without shoving anything in his face...
lightchested
Buttercups-

I have been in your position so many times!!! Not EXACTLY your position...it wasn't always due to being in a fight because I don't generally get in any arguments, but I can't count how many times I've thought that men would not be able to resist me if I were armed with the full arsenal of woman parts.

I feel for you. I've been there so many times.\ I HATE THAT FEELING!

I don't know what to tell you because I'm still not above having that happen to me. It just happens to not be happening right now. My sister has hugees and from what she tells me, they do live a charmed life, the boobed. If they are the boobed, what are we? The unboobed? Sometimes I get so negative.

Okay, this surely isn't helping.

You and I both know he was mad. He was probably shocked that you 'turned it into' (as he'll call it) a boob thing. But I so see how you did! I would too. It's such a horrible feeling to have your womanhood rejected. And that's what it feels like, doesn't it? But surely he'll say that's NOT what he was rejecting!!!

We are sensitive. We make connections they don't make.

Still I can't help but wonder how would it be if we had big ones? Would that have gone differently? Sometimes I just don't know. I'm sure guys have the best of intentions when they tell us "it has nothing to do with that!" and they might even think they mean it, but honestly, do they really know how they'd have reacted if we had big ones?

Who knows.

But here's the good news: he loves something about you because he's with you. He probably loves a lot of things about you! He may even love THEM. It is very possible. I do see how small ones can be great.

In fact, here is a song for you:
Lil Diddies

click on it
strongirl
Buttercups, in the earlier years of our relationship my bf and I had fights where I reacted like that. Not so much thinking it was my tits per se but having the suspicion that he was picking a fight with me so we'd break up and he could be with someone younger, hotter, cuter, prettier, thinner, bustier...I have a whole laundry list of things that my "insecure self" thinks compare badly to other chicks. After voicing that to him a couple times, with his patience and excellent ability to communicate. he was finally able to get across to me that that viewpoint was really quite self-centered and immature on my part. After that I'd remind myself to really listen when he was upset and try to see it from his point of view and to tell myself "Everything is NOT about your looks, silly girl!" When I reacted from that insecure place, he had no room to be down, grumpy, un-sexual or angry without triggering me to have a self-esteem crash, which felt to him like he had to suppress his problems. That wasn't fair to him. Now we've gotten pretty good about letting conflicts really be what they're about.

Of course it's harder to do when you're drunk (been there, too). You'll get there. You're further along than I was at your age, by a long shot. Sending you positive energy and hoping this is just a minor bump in the road for you.

Aithinne
"When I reacted from that insecure place, he had no room to be down, grumpy, un-sexual or angry without triggering me to have a self-esteem crash, which felt to him like he had to suppress his problems. That wasn't fair to him."

VERY good point strongirl... We should all think very long and hard on those words of wisdom. Surely no guy would want to be emotionally intimate with you if he felt like he couldn't express himself without opening up a can of worms that really has nothing to do with his problem.
buttercups
That is a great point strongirl. I don't know why whenever a problem like this happens I always take it like its about me being inadequate (mainly in the chest area). Even last night I went over his house and once again he was having "performance" issues and the idea popped back into my head that I had no breasts to arouse him and that was the problem. I tried my hardest to push it out but its so hard to back down once that thought is in there. I didn't bring it up this time but I'm pretty sure he could tell what I was thinking and I think that made him not so happy with himself either for making me feel that way.

Lightchested that's exactly how I feel- like what would happen if I had boobs- I don't even mean big boobs I just mean an A cup for chrissake! I'm not greedy I'm not asking for much just a little something so I can get out of this 10 year old body. If I had nice full A's or a small B I wonder if things would be different... When I was younger and in high school I used to tell myself that if I just stopped looking at my chest and obsessing then one day I would look down and they would have grown ( so silly). So I spent years being this kind of superstitious and forcing myself to not look down at my bare chest and guess what- no change. I guess I find it strange that I could just skip over this developmental step and be perfectly healthy. I also wonder what it must be like to be just a regular girl with average breasts and not have to worry about this ever. I'm sure I would have some other worry about my body, but for some reason that seems like it would be more of a normal concern. Like maybe I wouldn't like my thighs- but at least I have thighs to not like. It's like a body part is missing. I definitely think I've had body dysmorphic disorder for many years due to my obsessing about this problem, but the main definition is worrying about a defect that is "slight or imagined" and I'm pretty sure my defect is real. Whenever I've talked to a bf about this before they say "no its all in your head" but how can it be? Is it all in my head that I can't fill out a bra?? Is it all in my head that my chest never developed?? I mean bra sizes don't lie and maybe I would have BDD if I was a nice full B cup and felt this way- but at a AA arent I a little justified to think that something is missing? Haha just got sooo off track but I guess my main point is yes I do wonder all the time how different my life would be with a decent set of breasts. I know it wouldn't take away all my problems, but I would just have the luxury of not being able to worry about how feminine I look and if my small barely A's are not enough to turn my bf on - even when he insists thats not the truth. Somewhere in my sick mind I need an explanation and I don't so much as want him to say that he thinks my boobs are too small for him to get it up, but that I'm just not his type or something. I feel like maybe it's something he doesn't want to admit but that kind of confession would put things together so much better in my mind and then I could at least get angry- "you don't like small breasts? Oh yeah well F**k off!" -something like that!
Aithinne
QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
I'm pretty sure he could tell what I was thinking and I think that made him not so happy with himself either for making me feel that way.

NO. YOU are making yourself feel this way. HE has nothing to do with it. Take the responsibility for your own negative thoughts and don't blame him for making you feel insecure. Ultimately, no one can MAKE you insecure. Think about this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
I definitely think I've had body dysmorphic disorder for many years due to my obsessing about this problem, but the main definition is worrying about a defect that is "slight or imagined" and I'm pretty sure my defect is real.

Your problem is in considering it a defect in the first place and then obsessing about it. THAT is what makes it BDD.

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
Whenever I've talked to a bf about this before they say "no its all in your head" but how can it be? Is it all in my head that I can't fill out a bra?? Is it all in my head that my chest never developed??

That you can't fill out a bra is genetic happenstance. That it affects you in such a crippling negative way really is "all in your head". Buttercups, you DON'T HAVE to live this way!!! And the solution is not to fix your body, it's to fix your destructive thought processes!

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
I mean bra sizes don't lie and maybe I would have BDD if I was a nice full B cup and felt this way- but at a AA arent I a little justified to think that something is missing?

No. You are not justified to think something is missing because nothing is missing but your self-esteem. Confidence is NOT dependent on what's written on your bra tag. You must separate the two.

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
Haha just got sooo off track but I guess my main point is yes I do wonder all the time how different my life would be with a decent set of breasts.

Repeat after me: "I have perfectly normal, perfectly wonderful and beautiful breasts. They have the amazing capability of providing nourishment for my future children that I can amazingly grow in my body. My body can work miracles!" BRAINWASH yourself with positive words as much as you destroy yourself with negative words.

Another thing to be insanely happy about- They are HEALTHY. I just found out a few weeks ago that one of my friends from college has VERY aggressive breast cancer and she's only a few months older than me at 24! She's already had a masectomy and can't even wait to heal from the surgery to start chemo, it's so aggressive. Trust me, when someone you know who is young and smart and kind of heart gets this disease, you love your own and are more grateful for life than ever. People many times cannot comprehend that breast cancer means DEATH in many cases. Be thankful for LIFE, buttercups. A life you're shortchanging yourself out of because of lies you spoon feed yourself!

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
I know it wouldn't take away all my problems, but I would just have the luxury of not being able to worry about how feminine I look and if my small barely A's are not enough to turn my bf on - even when he insists thats not the truth.

You'll probably be able to help your bf if you gain confidence. If you didn't turn him on, what is the point of being in a relationship? I'm sure no guy looks at a woman and thinks, "Wow, I'm so turned off by her, she has no sexual appeal to me whatsoever. I think I'll try to date her." YEAH! That makes A LOT of sense. And he would feel much less pressure to perform if he didn't have to worry about satisfying you AND filling the gaping holes in your confidence that you are blaming HIM for.

QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 12 2009, 08:31 AM) *
Somewhere in my sick mind I need an explanation and I don't so much as want him to say that he thinks my boobs are too small for him to get it up, but that I'm just not his type or something. I feel like maybe it's something he doesn't want to admit but that kind of confession would put things together so much better in my mind and then I could at least get angry- "you don't like small breasts? Oh yeah well F**k off!" -something like that!

If you don't stop this thinking now, this relationship and EVERY relationship in the future is DOOMED for failure because you feel so insecure and scapegoat the poor guy for your problems and think all his problems have to do with your breasts. Think about that. You are dooming yourself to a life of unhappiness and failed relationships, not because your breasts happen to be small, but because you cannot love your body and have the high level of self-esteem that successful relationships require.
lightchested
Buttercups,

OH girl. We must be soul sisters. I guess we all are on this board, though!

But here's the thing. I can speak to your BDD questions because I've been treated for it. The treatment did not eradicate my concerns about the blobular area, but it did help in some ways. I want to share with you what I learned. Because I had all the same questions as you!!!

First off, reading The Broken Mirror may give you a weird solace. It did me. There were people even worse off than me, in terms of their obsession. I know it's negative to derive solace from that, but I was so down that it was a relief to me to see there was even further to fall, and I knew I'd not fall that far. Strange solace, I know.

Anyway, here we go:

1.) I was constantly asking, "Is this BDD? Because sizes don't lie." Here was the response: if you think about The Area three or more hours per day, it IS BDD. Because you know what? There are people who are missing limbs who think about that less than three hours per day! Or at least, they don't think about it the same way we do. They aren't thinking in terms of aesthetics, but rather in terms of practicalities. (e.g. "I wish I could hold on to my baby in one arm and feed her this lovely green Gerber's gruel with the other" etc.) But we aren't thinking in terms like that, right? We're interested in our aesthetics, and the ramifications/consequences of those aesthetics. Three hours a day! I blew that away. I was easily every waking minute for about a year and a half thinking about it.

2.) But it's a "real" defect, we think, "Three hours, twenty hours, whatever, per day...the defect is real!" Please again watch this video:
Lil Diddies
I know our boobs are NOT about men or what they think of them!!! But stay with me here because I do have a point. There are many many men for whom small breasts are not only not a defect, but the PREFERRED size. This proves that small boobs, in and of themselves, are not a "defect" in objective terms. That judgment is SUBJECTIVE. You and I may consider them a defect, but it is not a "pure and simple fact" to all who wander the earth that small boobs are a defect.

I maybe should be ashamed to admit this but I'm not...I've done plenty of Internet research...enough to learn that there are many, many porn websites devoted to women with small boobs- some even specifically want flat only- because there are men who just don't like them any bigger than small! So although our boobs are about US and not about men, what this proves is that small boobs is not a "defect", or it would be so to everyone. It might be something WE DON'T WANT. (I have ALWAYS wanted big ones and always felt like I'd get them and it was just a matter of time. I'm still waiting!) But our not wanting smallies, or our finding larger ones more aesthetically pleasing to us, or our thinking we would be more confident or our life would be different, does not make our small ones a defect. It makes them something we have trouble dealing with, that's all. And that's BDD. (when it's an obsession, which by your posts, I can easily see that it is. It is for me too.)

The reason this is all so important is because I understand your concerns about "Is it really BDD when my defect is 'real'?" Yes, it's BDD, and the very fact that we think we have a defect because our breasts are small is actually proof that we are dealing with the Dysmorphia monster!

3.) I have a friend who is a shrink. (She calls herself a "psychiatrist".) She told me that I am ego-dystonic. She said it happens when someone's reality is not in line with their sense of self, either how they think they should be or how they feel that they actually are. This shrink friend always felt like she "should" be rich. But she's not. So she has constant issues with being ego-dystonic...not fitting her image of herself. And she said for me, it sounds like I'm ego-dystonic in terms of my boobs. I am not what I pictured that I'd be, or what I picture that I should be. And I can't make the reality fit my mind's image of myself because they are disjointed. She said that's why I am obsessed. My mind is trying to make the two fit together: my reality and my true self, and it's not working. She said being ego-dystonic is why I am in this hole, while other small-boobed women live happily. Unfortunately, she said the only way to fix such a situation is to bring things in line, either by changing the mind's-eye image, or by changing the reality to conform to that image. (e.g. BDD therapy/ otherwise alter our minds to deal with our reality, or surgery) I guess on some level I'd finally realized that those are the only two ways out of this, but it hurt to hear that. I want a third option! if you're like me, you keep waiting for 'something to happen' that fixes it somehow. I've even tried hypnotherapy!!!

I feel for you so because I'm right there with you. Sometimes I think I'm "over it" but then some trigger will set me off again.

I know my life would have been different if I'd had bigger ones, but I honestly feel that 99% of the reason for that would be that I'd have acted differently, made different choices, and allowed myself to live more. Knowing that doesn't free me.
buttercups
Aithinne youre right about all of those things and that is like the slap in the face that i need and I know I should appreciate my body because its healthy and I do try to put it in that perspective a lot- but unfortunately it can't stop me from thinking about it and worrying about it. I've tried and tried and tried and I am thankful that I'm healthy but that can't take my true thoughts about myself away. And you're right I am most definitely dooming my relationship and I have done the exact same thing before, but this hatred of my breasts has somehow made me hate men too in this weird way. It's like I hate them because their desire for boobs makes me hate myself so much because I can't live up to this expectation. I hate men's magazines and how tv shows ALWAYS show boobs but you never see dick and how its so acceptable for women to be naked everywhere but not for men. Even today I was watching my new favorite show True Blood and in this episode there were boobs everywhere but not one naked male full frontal- i mean what the hell! Why is it ok for men to get to oogle something while we're left with nothing- not to mention the fact that the women were all well-endowed. I hate how the world is run by men's exploitation of us and how I can't get away from this image they ( or someone ) has created and how women feed into it and contribute to it even more by posing for Playboy and Hustler and Maxim and god knows what else. I can't stand porn bc its a bunch of big fake tits and as much as there is porn out there that focuses on smallies ive only ever seen guys watching girls with boobs bigger than my head. I guess I just can't stand living in this man's world and yes, it is because of my insecurities. Is it wrong for me to feel that i hate men- of course it is! And it def impacts my relationships bc I just can't make any guy understand and I also lash out at them and blame them for my hatred. If I had boobs and fit into this world would I hate it as much- honestly I doubt it. Every girl I know who has a chest can watch all those shows and porn and everything and they don't seem to shrivel up and die inside like I do. I wish I didn't feel these feelings towards men and I know its bad of me, but I can't help it. A part of me blames them for why things are the way they are and why I feel this way.

Lightchested wow, you are my soul sister! I have read the Broken Mirror and it did help me a little- especially the part about how some women who have BDD feel masculine - which is exactly how my small breasts make me feel. You definitely answered the exact questions I have- it makes sense that its the obsession, not the physical problem, that defines BDD. I definitely definitely have the horrible obsession. I wached your video ( it made me laugh) and I couldn't tell if it was a joke or if those guys really do like smallies, but thanks that was cute. Its really interesting about the ego-dystonia and I do agree that my actual body does not coincide with how I pictured I should be. When you went for therapy for BDD did you talk about your breasts specifically? I'm really embarrassed to get help for this bc it is such an embarrassing topic. I'll feel so stupid going to a psychologist and saying "my lack of boobies is ruining my life!". how did you do it? were you embarrassed? I've tried talkign to a few people in my life about this that i trust the most, but they either don't get it or think i'm being vain or something. I don't think anyone in my life really understands how debilitating this can be for me and how much it impacts my relationships. Ugh Lightchested I relate to you so much when you said sometimes you think you're over it and then something will trigger you- that is how I am exactly! I go for awhile being fine and not caring so much ( putting a lot of effort into not caring mind you) and then boom! something will trigger me and I'm a total mess. I've found for me a trigger is usually a stupid movie like Beerfest that I'm forced to watch in a group or being around guy friends who talk about boobs or seeing a naked chick on tv with my bf. Or sometimes I will have suppressed the feeling for so long that I just erupt and lash out and go through a terrible night of hating my body. Then the next day I wake up and I'm all right again. I'm scared to get therapy bc I'm so embarrassed. I wish there was something else I could do.

God am I full of rants or what? sorry to anyone who may have become offended by my man-bashing. There are plenty of men in my life that I love, but I would be lying to say deep down inside I don't have this dislike for men boiling inside me. I've also experienced some sexual abuse in my life that may have contributed to this and im sure many of my other issues- but I can't use this as a full excuse. Men get to live with a freedom that I don't have and for that they make me so angry. But if they ever start putting male full frontal in my HBO show then maybe i'll feel justice has been served haha.
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