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Aithinne
QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 7 2009, 10:05 AM) *
Pencil falls? You flunk. Pencil stays? You flunk. Stupid pencil.


Yeah... dumb pencil. Little fucker.

How about we start thinking with the glass half full though? Instead of busties and smallies failing the pencil test, how about we say that we all pass? Smallies pass the busty pencil test and the busties pass the smallie pencil test... voila! We all pass. Take that, pencil.

About that movie, koffeewitch.... I find the director who said those things about the women's breasts as having very unsofisticated thinking. I cannot logically attach a sexual quality to a certain age, body shape, size, or general asthetic of a woman's breasts. What retarded thinking. I've got small boobs and I'm crazy-sexual. And as much as I don't want to think about my biological mom having sex, I get the impression that she's a sex fiend too, and she's almost 60! The director is attaching his sexuality, or general male sexuality, on women based on how young and curvy (hence how fertile) their bodies look. Pssssh. It's so frustrating to live in a culture where people sexualize certain people based on how their body parts look and reject the sexuality of others because their bodies aren't up to snuff... they couldn't possibly be sexual, right? After all, they're old/small/not curvy/etc/insert superficial physical quality here. Idk, it annoys me personally that people reject my own sexual quality as a woman because I am not curvy, have small breasts, and look twelve. Almost like you're not allowed to be sexual until you reach the standard carbon cutout of woman. Almost like you're considered deviant or a whore because you don't look like you should be sexual, and expressing your sexuality is doubly wrong because of your looks. I'm sure if I looked like a 'real woman' or that older woman from the movie looked like a 'real woman', then it would be acceptable to express our sexual nature. I hate stereotyping.
buttercups
sorry to bombarde everyone with my problems as always, you are just so very helpful. tomorrow i have to practice my physical exam skills with some girls in my class and we all have to wear regular bras. I'm really nervous and upset bc i wear super padded bras to school so everyone thinks im ALOT bigger than normal- and those bras only fit me with padding inside. my real 32AA bras me look, well, completely flat (sorry to use the term i just can't think of a better descriptor) and im really worried and embarrassed about everyone finding out how flat (excuse me, small) i am...i dont know what to do- any and all advice would be appreciated since i have to do this tomorrow!
strongirl
Buttercups, one thing I can think of that may just help calm your fears is that several years ago I did the Brava breast enhancement thingy - you know, that suction thing. I had to wear it 10+ hours a day and at the end of that 10 hours (overnight), my boobs were 1-2 cup sizes larger than normal. Also at the time I was training for a marathon and frequently met up with my running group in the morning. Well, I'd show up with 34C's and by the end of a 16 mile run, I'd be back to my 34A's. And this was in FL, so it wasn't like I could hide under a bulky top. I felt very self-conscious but not enough to stop using Brava, running, or training with others - however, I wondered what they thought and worried about it. After a couple months of this I confided in a couple of the women runners who were close friends and asked if they thought it was weirding anyone out. They were quite adamant in saying that they had not even noticed and they were sure no one else had noticed either!

The moral of the story is: no one is really focusing on your breasts to anywhere near the obsessive degree you are. Many, maybe even most, people who interact with you in a non-sexual context won't even notice them at all. So just relax, wear something loose or ruffley or a jacket, and make eye contact. It'll be fine.

Note: chicks reading this who don't pad and are considering it - this is one reason why it might not be such a great idea.


buttercups
Thanks Strongirl, I know I am noticing it more bc i am obsessing over it, but idk it just seems like such a completely obvious difference to me. I would wear something ruffly or loose, but we have to take our shirts off to perform physical exams on each other- so there's no hiding anything here (hence my problem). I also am always noticing other girls' breasts and comparing them to mine and obsessing over that, so I'm sure I do notice it more than other people. I'm just so afraid of being humiliated and I have had other girls make nasty comments to me about my chest before i started padding. and yes i do wish now that i never padded...guess its too late at this point but i would def recommend other girls to either not start or at least only pad lightly so its not as visible as my problem currently is..
nbdx0645
Hey buttercups,
I am recovering from compulsive comparing disorder. You always lose when you compare. I rarely found someone smaller than me, and when I did I'd worry that nobody found her attractive and people didn't like the way her breasts looked. It was strange, I didn't know if I was trying to find 'me' so I didn't feel alone, or if I was trying to find 'me' and say "See? See how you look?" Either way is unacceptable. We get mad at men staring at women's breasts and putting so much emphasis on them, but I know that a ton of that emphasis is perpetuated by other women. Also, getting caught looking at a woman's breasts is the WORST. Ugh!

Strongirl's story is so awesome. I went from a padded, full A to an honest-to-goodness AA when I stopped padding. I was so worried that my coworkers would notice and say something, but they never did. I was happier at work because my new bras were more comfy, and they moved with me throughout the day. Soft triangle cups are my favorite, and I eventually stopped worrying about shopping in the young women's section. I dye the white bras I get from there in beautiful colors, and I'd like to learn how to sew in the future so I can embellish them. I also knit my own bras.

I think it's alright to pad if you're aware that it's make-up. It was hard to figure out how to hide the change 'under special circumstances' (bathing suit, interesting clothing, working out, or skinny-dipping.) I wasted a lot of time at social events worrying if my padding was going to fall out of my too-big bra. I also did tons of self-checks to see if the bra wasn't dented in. Heck, I didn't go to concerts and parties because I was worried I was going to be made fun of. (It happened once before, but really....the guy was a jerk who was definitely jealous of me.)

I wasn't comfortable having my chest evaporate every night before bed, but I know some women don't find it to be an issue. My cousin's friend pulled out her chicken fillets in the bathroom to rinse them off and wipe them down since she was sweating at the club. It didn't bother her that she lost a a cup size or so. It was like a pair of pantyhose to her -- just a fashion accessory. I think that's way cool.
karategrrl
QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Oct 8 2009, 12:51 AM) *
I dye the white bras I get from there in beautiful colors, and I'd like to learn how to sew in the future so I can embellish them. I also knit my own bras.

SUPER idea about dying them! I've embellished mine with funky trims and buttons from the fabric store. Knitting is way too advanced for moi but I admire your creativity!!!

I have to tell you ladies, I went to a work conference last night and was totally girl-crushing on this woman there who had a tiny chest. She just looked so awesome overall that her bust size was just part of her wonderful package--what made her beautifully HER. Made me think that you never know when someone might be admiring you in just the same way. Take that, all of you. laugh.gif
strongirl
nbdx, you knit your own bras? That is totally bad-ass!!!! biggrin.gif
nbdx0645
Thanks smile.gif if there are any knitters here, look up the 'slip stitch bra' on ravelry. If you're a AA, I can help you with the necessary dimension changes. I've learned so many things in my life to help improve my holistic wellness. I do admit, that I learned a few of them because I felt like I needed to 'make up' for the physical, but I also picked up other things to make me stop thinking about it. I'd get so consumed by my feelings, I would be out of commission for the day. I couldn't function. So, I started learning new things whenever those feelings crept in. It forced me to stop thinking about it, and I have a bunch of cool hobbies to talk to people about. You certainly can't think about breasts when you're operating a Yamaha YZF-R6!

I'd like to know what your people's hobbies are. What do you love to do? What makes you happy, proud, or at peace? Are you an athlete, master gardener, student, musician, proud parent? I get mad that sometimes, people only seem to emphasize the body as an indicator of success and beauty, and fail to look at the contents inside. Sure, you could have great packaging....but what if nothing is inside?

I'd like to hear about the things that really make you, *you.* If that's okay, and not too off-topic.

I wish there was more I could do to help with women struggling with low-self esteem because of small breast issues. I still think about my size every day, but it has been much more manageable in the last 2 months. I'm still working on accepting the fact that this is the way they will be, I am done developing in that area, and it's not a 'deal-breaker' for good people. My biggest issue is that I feel like I can do anything, and I still think that there's something I can do to change my size. But I'd like to change my attitude so I can be accepting and understanding toward my body, throughout my lifetime.
angie_21
QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Oct 10 2009, 08:35 AM) *
You certainly can't think about breasts when you're operating a Yamaha YZF-R6!


OMG, so awesome! I don't have anything that cool, but I have spent enough time off-roadig on an ATV to appreciate how awesome it is that my girls aren't any bigger than they are. Wearing 2 bras and still having them hurt when bouncing over rough & washboarded trails, I have no idea how larger girls handle it.

Since the forums here are self-moderated, it's really up to us how far off topic we can take our discussions. The small breast group does kind of make up its own little community on Bust, and since we always talk about the importance of appreciating ourselves and our bodies for things that have nothing to do with our appearance and chest size, I personally don't see anything wrong with talking about hobbies and other things here, as long as we don't lose focus of being here to support other girls who are needing to talk and commiserate. Also, nbdx, many of us post on other forums in the lounge, and if you want to learn more about us, you can always get involved in discussions in other threads. There's a pretty rockin' discussion on society and gender going on in the femininsm forum right now, for example.

QUOTE
My biggest issue is that I feel like I can do anything, and I still think that there's something I can do to change my size. But I'd like to change my attitude so I can be accepting and understanding toward my body, throughout my lifetime.


I know what you mean, I went through that too. I think it was a necessary step on the way to realizing I didn't really care anymore. I was most angry when I was younger and hated that I felt bad about an aspect of my appearance I didn't even have any control over. Then I got older, still small, and thought well, there has to be something I can do.. but I didn't want cosmetic surgery, so over I time I just realized, this is what my body is, and it's never actually caused me any problems in life, so why do I think there's something wrong with it? I don't need to change it.
nbdx0645
Most definitely. I don't want it to dampen conversation, but perhaps it can supplement emotional healing. It's good to know why you want to fight these feelings of shame, embarrassment, and sadness. People don't have to post, but it might be something to think about.

A funny note on the YZF-R6 Raven, I call it the "boob job" bike since it costs around the same amount.
Aithinne
QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Oct 10 2009, 02:03 PM) *
A funny note on the YZF-R6 Raven, I call it the "boob job" bike since it costs around the same amount.


Lol!!

I have come up with the ultimate in small boobie metaphorical pictures!

Ok, ok. So this picture is how our culture sees women with small breasts: Culture sucks.


And this picture is how our wonderful small boobie busties truly are: Y'all friggin rock.


Hugs to all!
buttercups
That was so cute Aithinne! I love it!
strongirl
Cute, Aithinne! smile.gif

Buttercups, how did your physical exam day go?

nbdx, that is awesome re. your "boob job motorcycle". If more chicks would get bikes instead of boob jobs, the world would be a much more rockin' place.

On the "what do I do that makes me me" question: being a good mom to my 14 yr old son, sex, distance running and trail running, weight lifting, rock climbing, sex, scuba diving, sailing, yoga, sex, partying, cooking, gardening, sex, motorcycles (on the back only so far but maybe someday), hiking, natural remedies and health, clothes-optional hot springs, sex, literature, music, art, sex, animals/nature, feminism, politics, sex. Plus there's my career: hi tech in a male dominated field.

Let me say that while I applaud any endeavor that anyone takes on that makes them feel good for any reason, none of those activities are compensatory for my small breasts. My breasts are so freakin' hot that I could just exist and never do a damn thing but sit around and appreciate my breasts and my existance would be justified (or at least that's what my boyfriend thinks, and me too sometimes). But I enjoy all of the above anyway.


karategrrl
LOL on the links, aithinne!

Might I say, too, that if one ever gets tired of the motorcycle (I know, not happening!), one could always sell it to finance their new passion. But who would buy a pair of used implants? Ew.

Sorry, my weird brain at work!
anna k
Visiting from large breast thread:

Things that make me happy: dancing, writing film reviews, listening to music, being given more writing challenges at work, watching good films, going to dance performances, cooking delicious foods, keeping my body healthy and strong, kickboxing, yoga, spending time with my mom, seeing my best friend, trying new cuisines, wearing stylish clothes that make me feel sexy and pretty, meeting interesting people, feeling at peace in a warm, nice-smelling bath, advancing in my career and finding more opportunities within my work, sex, reading great literature, and appreciating other people's talent and ingenuity.
buttercups
Strongirl can I just say- you are awesome! God I wish I had the balls to do all those things! Sounds like you def live life to the fullest! As far as the physical exam day went, you ladies were totally right- I was the only one who would notice anything bc I was being breast obsessed. Everyone else was too nervous about passing the test to notice or say anything about my difference in chest size. I felt so silly for worrying about it as much as i did. My next goal is to wear this bra on a day when we don't have a test looming over our heads so nobody is nervous and see if anyone notices then. We'll see if I can do it.

Just got Oprah magazine today, there's a picture of a woman wearing a dress with a mechanical leg- apparently she had to have her leg amputated when she was 5. She's quoted on the page saying something like "looking "normal" is over-rated". I really like that, it struck a nerve bc all I've ever wanted to look like was average.

I didn't like how the page before it was a picture of a woman with a small chest and they were trying to give her some dressing tips and at the top of the page her body type was listed as..none other than...*drum roll please*..Boyish! Well that nonsense just has to go!

Other than that, good issue of Oprah hahah
spot-on
Hi small busties!
Just wanted to drop in and say hello. I feel like I know you all already, lol. Reason being is that after a google search for small breast support groups I found this thread and read the whole thing over the course of about 10 days. Can I just say how inspiring you all are!!!

I introduced myself in the newbie thread but I'll do a recap here. I'm spot-on, 37, married for 10 years, no kids (by choice), 2 dalmatians, and the owner of a pair of small boobs.

My Boob Story:

Always had small boobs. Until about 3 months ago I was a 34 nearly B, however I made a concerted effort over the last 9 months to get fit so I could begin my career again in the fitness industry (aerobics instructor and personal trainer). Over the last few months after dropping 25lbs I stopped losing weight and instead am losing body fat, yay. Unfortunately this meant my boobs shrunk to an A cup (well maybe, more on that later). Right now I am struggling to find a correct fit for reasons I will detail (in length) below. On a regular basis I love my small boobs, they suit me. Honestly being slim I think I would look rather unproportioned with bigger boobs, and they'd make my 5 mile run 3x a week a nightmare! BUT that doesn't mean, like most of us at times it seems, that I get those days where all I want is bigger boobs. Nothing huge, just a big B or a small C. Something with a little more fullness. *sigh* But hey that's why we have this group right?

I really don't know my correct size, for many reasons. I know my 34B bras don't fit right anymore, too loose in the strap AND cup. So I did some research online looking how to measure etc. Why are there so many different freakin ways to measure your boobs? some say to add 4" for the band say, some places say not to. VS and a few other places measure ABOVE your boobs for the band size... No wonder they say that most women are wearing the wrong bra size! What do they expect? So I am currently undertaking a bra buying expedition smile.gif

I know 34Bs are too big, so I measured myself using all the recommendations online and I range from a 34AA - 34A - 32A and a 32B. Now every site out there says that when buying a new bra that they should fit well on the furthest clasp so that as they wear you can tighten them. If I get the 34 I have to wear it on the closest clasp to keep it in place, so that leads me to believe I am a 32. Any thoughts on that?

If I can get the freakin band size sorted then at least the cup SHOULD fall into line after that. My actual measurement for band size is 30", which plus the supposed 4" gives me a 34" band. For VS measuring I am a 32". What are everyone's thoughts/experiences regarding band size to actual measurements?
spot-on
testing pic
karategrrl
spot-on, WELCOME to our lovely little corner of cyberspace! I, too found it in much the same way awhile back, and I must say it has changed my life for the better.

As for bras, it's a popular topic around here. My best bet has been the "teen" bras in Target--lined but not padded. It's hard to find bras that fit--I think any woman can say that, no matter what her size!

buttercups, holla on the "boyish" crap. I mean, really--just south of the chest, you have the vagina, which is certainly NOT boyish. Come the fuck on, people. Though I have to say I love that "looking normal is overrated" thing. Awesome that they had that woman in Oprah with her artificial leg.
spot-on
Thanks KarateGrrrl. Yep I bought some bra's from Walmart last, moulded cups (no nipplage). The ones from Target I haven't had much luck with, just trying them on and feeling pretty uncomfortable. I am all about comfort.

And I have to agree on the biking smile.gif We dirtbike. I ride a Honda CRF 230 smile.gif Hmm Boob job or a dirtbike? Dirtbike everytime! Oh we also snowboard too, and I run 3x a week, and currently doing p90x for weights. Maybe we smallies are more active overall?
karategrrl
QUOTE(spot-on @ Oct 15 2009, 02:27 PM) *
Maybe we smallies are more active overall?

Don't know if we're more active, though many of us have expressed how glad we were not to have to big 'uns at certain times. I took karate for many years (as you may have guessed) and was always glad in the dojo to be "streamlined." Though large-chested women can do lots of active stuff with the right sports bras.

Last year I was in the rafters of my new house, installing wiring and fitting my little self through all sorts of crannies to do so. I was actually somewhat encumbered by my little AA's and VERY glad they were not an ounce bigger!!! laugh.gif
koffeewitch
Sorry; unintended post. Poltergiests in my computer today. dry.gif
spot-on
I remember instructing aerobics classes at one club and being very envious of another instructor and her assets. She was heavier than me, but the boobs were 'perfect', probably a D cup. Anyway long story short I saw her instructing a class once, two sports bra's on and they were still "unruly". I had never been so glad in my life for small boobs than at that moment. Knowing that I was instructing 20+ classes a week as it was, then having to potentially have 'bounce issues', eek. Anyway all of us instructors talking one day someone made a comment about boobs and I told my story, turns out she was envious of my boobs! lol! Grass is always greener!

strongirl
Thanks for the compliment, Buttercup, but I'm sure I'm no more or less awesome than anyone else in here. I've always been very physical and athletic and prefer being outdoors to indoors, so that's just led to doing a lot of fun stuff. I do think having small breasts and a slim, athletic body makes it easier to do certain things. Just rock climbing with my bf, it's apparent how much easier it is to haul my 110 pounds up the rock than his brawney 175. Then again when I tried roller derby, I was well aware that those 160 lb girls with 40DD knockers could smash the crap outta little me - it was a big motivator to skate fast! So there's always gonna be pro's and con's to everything (Spot-On's point below) and the main thing is find what you enjoy and do it, regardless of whether it matches your body type stereotype, or whether you have the "balls" - just do it and have fun!
Allison-Shine
QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 16 2009, 06:50 PM) *
Thanks for the compliment, Buttercup, but I'm sure I'm no more or less awesome than anyone else in here. I've always been very physical and athletic and prefer being outdoors to indoors, so that's just led to doing a lot of fun stuff. I do think having small breasts and a slim, athletic body makes it easier to do certain things. Just rock climbing with my bf, it's apparent how much easier it is to haul my 110 pounds up the rock than his brawney 175. Then again when I tried roller derby, I was well aware that those 160 lb girls with 40DD knockers could smash the crap outta little me - it was a big motivator to skate fast! So there's always gonna be pro's and con's to everything (Spot-On's point below) and the main thing is find what you enjoy and do it, regardless of whether it matches your body type stereotype, or whether you have the "balls" - just do it and have fun!



I have seen many smaller, skinnier girls who are much quicker and tougher than their bigger and bustier counterparts. You probably would fare better than you think.

Roller derby, that is so cool. I wouldn't be able to do that, you have guts ! All I can do is skate, there is not enough of little Allie to knock anyone down !
spot-on
I agree with Allison, I'm small at 120lbs but I'm also lean and have lots of muscle mass. We lighter girls can turn on a dime and get away faster. Haven't skated for ages, maybe time to dust off the boots and go do a few laps smile.gif
nbdx0645
Sounds like some cool conversation has been going on over the last week (I haven't been able to get online much, I'm a foster parent for a sick stray cat at the moment.) It's nice to hear some of your tooting your horn a bit =) it's great to hear that there's so much awesome on this forum. I joined another small-busted forum a year ago, but it turned out to be an exclusive pity-party where women lashed out against other men...and women, too. The AAA's resented the AA's, and if an A or B-cup talked about their story, they were insta-flamed. It was alarming to see women turn other women away. Even my story got brushed off quickly.

When I was in volleyball, I was very glad I didn't have to wear the double-sports bra. I loaned my sports bra out to other girls and I'd wear my regular bra for the practice. They called me 'paper doll' as a joke (when I turned sideways I would disappear) and at first it hurt, but I channeled the anger into sport performance. I had a bunch of negativity about my body thrown my way, and I've had a handful of women say in my lifetime "Yaaay, I'm finally not the flattest person in the room! Wa-hoo!" As strange as it sounds, I was happy that they could experience that feeling.

I always felt bad when I heard that I made other girls on the team feel bad because I looked better in the spandex. Some were convinced that I wore pantyhose. Again, it's that two-way street. I also don't want to make others feel bad about their bodies, and I'm sure you're all behind me on that. Honestly, you better be. Being the benchmark is painful, too. Everybody has an internal battle that we know nothing about.
angie_21
Wow, so much always happens here when I'm away for a week!

Spot-on, when it comes to bras, I find I just try on a couple sizes until one fits best. It sounds like you're a 32, but the thing is bras are made so cheaply that even within the same brand you might not be the same size in every style.

I used to be on a small-busted forum about 5 or 6 years ago that was like that nbdx. I think part of the problem was that the forum was for girls who were attempting various herbal treatments to try to make their boobs bigger. There was a lot of insecurity on that board, total single-minded obsession with breasts, and the complete inability to accept not being able to match some concept of "ideal" breasts. It was really sad. When I joined I was in a similar state of mind, but after a while it just got boring, I mean, how long can you post sad things about your boobs all day? I vowed never to fall into that trap ever again.

Last year I started wall climbing and definitely found that with my lined sports bra, the damn boobs got in the way. there definitely were not a lot of large-chested girls on those walls. I think partly because you do have to be either very tiny or very muscular to do the sport, and generally girls who weigh less will also have smaller boobs, on average. Referring to spot-on's comment, though, I wouldn't call myself and active person or even all that adventurous, even though I enjoy doing active and adventurous things, I only manage to fit it into the rest of my lifestyle about 0.5% of the time. I try to do it more often, and wall-climbing was one of my baby-steps in the adventurous direction. All the bike talk is really getting my interest, though!

Going back to the personal interests derailment... My interests are more along the lines of archaeology and anthropology research (always first, whether I want it to be or not!), cooking, lingere, hiking, blues music, my cat, science fiction, atheism, film, sex, women's rights, beer, more music, more research, and when I can, being outdoors. Unfortunately a lot of my time gets taken up doing laundry, getting the bills paid, and juggling family events... and I don't even have kids!
karategrrl
QUOTE(spot-on @ Oct 16 2009, 05:46 PM) *
turns out she was envious of my boobs! lol! Grass is always greener!

Oh yeah. I had a similar experience when I met a friend of mine. I envied her voluptuous-ness and when I confessed this, she said she envied my leanness.

nbdx0645, I hear ya on the cattiness. Back in college, a girl was giving me crap for wearing tights under my pants (she saw them peeking out when I sat down). I wore them for warmth and she assumed it was to hold in my "fat." Sheeesh. Stupidity.
Aithinne
Haha, I used to wear my pj pants under my jeans to class in college during the winter months (until I got some long johns). But that outfit actually made my legs look bigger due to the extra volume. I actually liked how I looked, definitely looked more volumptuous, but it still didn't make up for the weird elastic band peeking over the edge of the jeans... lol.

Karategrrl, I think it's weird that that girl assumed you wanted to hold in your 'fat'. It kind of reminds me how everyone seems to think people who are naturally thin are only that way because they have an eating disorder. Maybe they assume that everyone on the planet thinks they're fat? I wonder when people's perception of a 'normal' size actually falls in the range of a normal size and that 'normal' healthy sizes encompass a large spectrum? Strange... I'd almost like to pick that girl's brain to see how she arrived at that conclusion, and what assumptions she makes of women in general.
karategrrl
QUOTE(Aithinne @ Oct 19 2009, 04:27 PM) *
It kind of reminds me how everyone seems to think people who are naturally thin are only that way because they have an eating disorder.

Yeah, I have come up against this more times than I care to recall. Pisses me off totally--waitresses smirking when I order a diet soda, coworkers going through my lunch to see what I eat. And these were ADULTS!

I should have specified that the girl did think I was thin but assumed I was the one thinking I was fat because--sheesh--why else would I wear tights???? Amazing the sweeping and numerous assumptions people make. I actually had the self-control to just smile and say it was to keep me warm. She got off lucky. wink.gif Shoulda whipped off my tights and whipped her with them. laugh.gif
angie_21
I've never ever heard of wearing tights under pants to look thinner. And I'm not "naturally thin." I just figure, this is my body, it's out there, and if people can't handle it, they don't have to look.
Aithinne
I just flat out don't understand how people think it's okay to talk about anyone's weight... talk about rude. I mean, unless you know the person well, how do you know what their food intake is like, or how much they exercise, etc etc. It's like people don't have any manners anymore.

I've never EVER told anyone they were fat, because I simply do not believe in the word. 99% of the people I know are an average, healthy weight (whether that's a size 2 or 20) and are beautiful in their own unique ways. So I just don't understand the whole "let's tell people they're fat/skinny/busty/small-breasted/whatever"... As if telling them will help them for whatever reason in any way. I just don't understand why people SAY it.

I think we as a people need to start being nicer to each other, nicer to ourselves too. Maybe then we wouldn't need small breast support groups, or have eating disorders, or as many suicides..
spot-on
Well one of our friends is starting an exercise program and asked me for advice, asked me specifically what I ate daily and he was shocked that I ate so much. Many people assume I hardly eat anything when in fact the reverse is true. I eat 5x a day too! I'm muscular and athletic rather than naturally thin (though I was naturally thin till I hit my mid 20's). People don't realize you gotta feed the machine smile.gif

Aithinne, in my world (health/fitness) there is the fat word. BUT you can be skinny/thin and be fat. That is the difference in the fitness realm. Fat to us is a word that solely relates to body composition. You can be 200+ lbs but muscular and lean with low body fat. Conversly you can be 120lbs and low muscle mass and high fat %. I agree though telling people randomly that they are fat is so rude, and how many image disorders and begin. IMO I think people tell these comments to make themselves feel better. Like bullies pick on people so they feel better. The same applies. Like "oh my problems aren't that bad, look how fat (etc) she is". As a personal trainer, I would NEVER tell anyone they are fat/need to workout unless they specifically asked me for advice. I guess for some though it's also a health issue. I will say that I nag my DH about his fat as it's a health issue and worries me. He has already had heart issues so it's something he needs to keep in check.

My usual conversation to the small bust commenters:
I have small boobs? Really? I hadn't noticed, especially since I've seen them every day for the last 37 years, buy bra's for them and shove them in and out of clothing 2-3 times a day! Here was me thinking I had DD's? Well thanks for sorting that one out for me!
What?
No, I don't want a boob job.
No it's not a money issue, I could buy myself a nice big pair should I ever feel the need. However I am happy with my boobs 98% of the time, and my DH is happy with them whenever I let him play with them.
The other 2% of the time? Well that's when I have to talk to idiots like you...

On a side note, yesterday I had on a 34A bra and it seemed loose in the cup. Today I have on a 34B and it fits just fine. More proof that you need a variety of sizes depending on TOM.
strongirl
Y'all are so cool. The real reason I hang out in here at this point has nothing to do with breasts...it's just that it's rare to find people with such refreshing, intelligent, and insightful things to say, on any topic.

Karategrrl - I fell out laughing over the image of you whipping that chick with your tights! biggrin.gif

Angie - "this is my body, it's out there, and if people can't handle it, they don't have to look." Totally!

Aithinne - "I think we as a people need to start being nicer to each other, nicer to ourselves too. Maybe then we wouldn't need small breast support groups, or have eating disorders, or as many suicides.." I think what you are talking about is simple kindness. And I enthusiastically agree with you!

Spot-on - I know what you mean about eating. It's a little embarrassing but I eat quite a lot more than my bf who is a big strapping guy, and my ex-husband who is an average size guy and a triathlete. I have a high metabolism and I love exercise and run at least 3 miles daily. I don't eat junk but I eat a lot of good healthy food. You do have to feed the machine! I think people who consider themselves "fat" sometimes look at people like us and assume we are lean due to self-denial and "discipline", and then further assume that we look down on them as lacking discipline. I don't judge others that way EVER but I think that sometimes people lash out at thinner people because they assume we do.

And I loved your mock conversation re. boobs - we should all try to memorize those lines for emergencies when we're caught in unexpected conversations with "idiots".
strongirl
OK, so here's a weird question:

I know most of you dislike porn (and I dislike most of it) but there's this porn actress, Sasha Grey, and based on what little I know of her, she's intriguing. She's one of the most successful porn stars of the past few years and I can't quite figure out what to make of her - she does extreme hardcore stuff but she's very articulate and bright, considers herself a feminist, and refuses to get implants. My bf and I watched a mainstream film starring her, "The Girlfriend Experience", and he thinks her body looks like mine (of course, when I see her I don't see flaws but when I look in the mirror I do) but he's right that we're about the same size and figure type. She's not a Pam Anderson or Kim Kardashian, that's for sure! I haven't seen any of her porn and know very little about her, other than I watched some inflammatory and un-informative YouTube stuff from when she was on the Tyra Banks show.

Are any of you aware of her and what are your thoughts? I'm just intrigued by a successful porn star who's built like me, refuses to get implants, and calls herself a feminist. But before I call myself a fan, I want to know more, skeptic that I am.
spot-on
strongirl, haven't seen any films with her in and hadn't heard of her, but just did a google search and yep she has my body too. Good for her for not getting implants, but from what I can tell implants are no longer pushed on porn 'actresses' anymore as men want natural. There are supposedly a few small chested porn stars refusing implants, and they are quite successful. Though their definition of small and mine seem to differ. I like that a smallie is successful in a sex industry but I like actresses like Olivia Wilde better. She was smokin in a film we watched a couple of weeks ago.
spot-on
QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 20 2009, 06:02 PM) *
Spot-on - I know what you mean about eating. It's a little embarrassing but I eat quite a lot more than my bf who is a big strapping guy, and my ex-husband who is an average size guy and a triathlete. I have a high metabolism and I love exercise and run at least 3 miles daily. I don't eat junk but I eat a lot of good healthy food. You do have to feed the machine! I think people who consider themselves "fat" sometimes look at people like us and assume we are lean due to self-denial and "discipline", and then further assume that we look down on them as lacking discipline. I don't judge others that way EVER but I think that sometimes people lash out at thinner people because they assume we do.


Totally agree! I eat a lot, probably more than my DH and he's almost twice my weight. But like you it's all good healthy food, I just feel better for it. If I eat poorly I feel sluggish and with my job I can't afford that. The thing is if you eat good food your metabolism increases so for people like us it's a continuous healthy cycle. I have hereditary health issues so I am determined to live as healthy as possible for as long as possible.
karategrrl
spot on, loved your comments, esp. about responses to getting implants! Might I add one to the list:
(Most effective if said very matter-of-factly) "Yes, a few thousand dollars can buy me big, fake boobs, but all the money in the world can't make you NOT an asshole." I haven't actually used this but would love to. Please, anyone, feel free to try it out and let us know how it works!

Aithinne:
"I think we as a people need to start being nicer to each other, nicer to ourselves too. Maybe then we wouldn't need small breast support groups, or have eating disorders, or as many suicides.."

Well said, sistah, well said. The fact that people think it's OK to bring up thinness/fatness when it's not okay to do so about race/big noses, etc. is something I find constantly intriguing. In the end, people who say such crap are really indirectly making a much bigger statement about dissatisfaction with themselves. My friend's 7-year-old daughter put it perfectly: "When you point your finger at someone else, you're really pointing 3 at yourself."

Haven't heard of Sasha Grey but now I'm intrigued. Will look her up.
buttercups
Hmmm Sasha Grey has much bigger boobies than me, so if you've got her body I say rock on! I think she looks totally hot I would love to look like that!

As far as people commenting on weight goes, it's like people do think its ok to say whatever they want to you if your body type is on the small side. I wouldn't dare say the things to people that they have said to me- about my breasts or just about me being smaller than 99.9% of the population in general. Even now in my mid-twenties people will ALWAYS comment something about my size, ALWAYS. I guess I've gotten used to being the smallest girl everywhere, but it kills me to think that if people hadn't commented so negatively on my body in my younger years than maybe my self-esteem would not be complete crap. It just really angers me that maybe all that pain could have been prevented if people had just kept their mouths shut. I remember being in school and being so happy, never thinking anything was wrong with my appearance, until people began making comments about how I must have an eating disorder or how I must have to buy bras at the baby gap (that comment was from someone when i was in college mind you).

Karategrrl I really love what your friend's daughter said, so much insight for someone so young, she is absolutely right!
enfermera
i just thought i'd commiserate a bit about the difficulty of finding well-fitting bras. target (i know, target, but it's where i was) probably has a 32A in one out of maybe five styles, and only two total in the styles that come in pretty colors and patterns. one of those had a fist sized wad of padding, and the other didn't fit--weird underwires that poked into my sternum, and cups that gapped. i know it's melodramatic, but i usually end up feeling discriminated against after bra shopping. i can find a few pretty designs in small sizes online, but i'm so hesitant to buy one without trying it on!

i get occasional comments at work (presented somewhat lightheartedly) about how "disgusting" it is that i'm so thin. disgusting! i can't imagine another physical aspect that people would use that word to describe when they're just teasing. but what i get much more frequently is comments about what i'm eating. for whatever reason, i tend to be self-couscious about my food choices. i eat a lot, i often try to eat relatively healthy but i like junk food as much as the next person. but it seems like no matter WHAT i eat, someone wants to comment on it--either about how i eat so healthy and how "good" i am, or about how they can't BELIEVE i would eat that--i NEVER eat junk food. i can't ever figure out what kind of response they are expecting to these comments, but it makes me want to snap or be sarcastic.
nbdx0645
I have the same problem, enfermera. The only bras in the women's section that may have a chance of fitting me are chock-full of padding. I've also had my fair share of the "GOD you're so skinny" "OMG do you eat?" Another thing that bothers me is that the people saying it will actually touch my body. Like my wrists, or my waist. Or they'll poke my arm. I don't know how to take the comments. Some people do mean well, and they think that it's what everybody wants to hear. It's hard to figure out what to say. I think if you're really close to them, you could say that it can be difficult to hear about your size. I also hate chocolate (it makes me really thirsty) but some coworkers think I hate it because I'll make me gain weight. Meh.

I looked up Sasha online and I was hoping she'd be closer to my size. sad.gif Still, anybody who says 'natural is best' has my vote.
buttercups
Don't worry nbdx0645, she's nowhere near my size either- I'm a hundred times smaller. I guess my problem is that I wouldn't mind having small boobs, I just want some boobs. If I could fill an A cup I feel like I would be happy with myself, but I guess you never know. Maybe if I was a full A cup I would feel like that wasn't big enough the way society is today. But I feel like I'm not greedy, I just want something up there..
treehugger
Yeah-my boobs are about the same as Sasha Greys-but only because I'm like 30 pounds overweight. If I were my ideal weight, they'd be about half as large as hers. It's a double edged sword, but I think I'd rather be close to my ideal weight and take the smaller chest. It's just as hard to find a bra when you're a 38-39 B. I was a lot happier when I weighed 120, even with my 34 a's.
edie52
Yeah, it's funny, I've never thought of Sasha as small-breasted- more just natural and average sized. Which I guess is small for porn. Obviously, we have a variety of bodies on this thread- which is great! We should try not to become resentful towards each other, as some of you described happening on other boards.

Here's a famous porn star who is small by my standards (meaning "around my size" I guess) and gorgeous:

Stoya
Stoya2

She's extremely popular, from what I've gathered. Never seen her in action though.

Oh, and I definitely get the skinny/disgusting comments occasionally. It hurts because I do think of my body as natural and healthy, and at the same time I'm struggling to accept it in its natural state. Those comments kind of tear all of that down. Someone commented on Jezebel that "the thought of someone who is 5'10" and 120 lbs makes me wanna puke." I don't think it would be acceptable to say that about any other body type or feature (except maybe excessive plastic surgery). I know that I'm underweight, and I have lost over 10 pounds in that past few years (used to always be between 130 and 135- now I'm 120) and I don't know how that happened. I'd like to try to gain it back, but I seriously don't know how.
spot-on
re: Sasha Grey. I think breast size is subjective. We're all saying we're either like Sasha Grey, or smaller, when we had no basis of what size she is just our own opinions based on how she looks, and like Strongirl mentioned we see more flaws on ourselves. I just searched google and according to her 'model' stats she's 5'6", 105 lbs and a 32B. I think she looks pretty hot, athletic and muscular rather than skinny. According to VS bra measuring I should be a 32B, now all I need to do to look like her is grow 2" in height and lose 15lbs!

KarateGrrl is love this: "Yes, a few thousand dollars can buy me big, fake boobs, but all the money in the world can't make you NOT an asshole." I AM the kind of woman that would use this if someone was really getting on my nerves with the whole "you have a flat chest" comments. I hate that too, nope I don't have a flat chest. See these jiggly things here, they are boobs. Sure I'm no Pam Anderson, but then neither is she considering those jumblies are fake!

Enfermera - when I was younger I got the 'disgustingly thin" comments, even "you make me sick!" seriously? Is it my fault I worked for this body and am considerably hotter than you? Cos you know that's the problem! They are usually jealous. That's my experience anyway. I've never had many female friends because of this. I eat like a horse, 5 meals a day and I don't eat chocolate either. It gives me headaches. occassionally (birthdays etc) I'll eat some choc cake or something but I can happily live without it. I don't drink soda either not because of the calories but because it's full of crap. My body is my work, I look after it, I want it to be at it's prime for a great many years to come!
I also agree about bra shopping, so dependant on lots of things not just OUR boobs. Different manufacturers, different bra styles both change my size, let alone my own TOM. Right now I don't buy anything unless I try it on first. Just not worth the hassle.

Treehugger - that's where I was last Dec. 30lbs overweight with some nice boobage going on. Filling a 34B quite nicely. Lost 25lbs and lost the boobs. I get more looks now, more attention and I think I look much better now. Not that I need the male attention (happily married) but it's nice to be appreciated wink.gif

Buttercups - you know what makes a woman attractive? not looks, not a great body, not boobs... CONFIDENCE. If you are happy with your own body then you will become attractive. beauty as they say is only skin deep. If you're happy and confident with yourself that will shine through. At 25lbs overweight I wasn't happy, it showed. Smaller body AND smaller boobs and I am more confident now.

As an aside I thought I'd share this...
When I was heavier and bigger boobed (34nearlyB) I mostly wore sports bras, or bralettes, going for comfort. I literally owned 1-2 nice bra's which I wore rarely. Since losing the weight and boosting my confidence, I buy underwear regularly, my size has changed, I buy maybe monthly. I wear proper bra's daily. I want to feel nicer for myself. This is the way I was meant to be @ 120lbs. I feel smoking hot. I have mostly molded cups, but one of the bra's is a padded push up for an extra boost when I need it. I've bought pretty much a whole new wardrobe (all thrifted) and 2 weeks ago we went out for dinner with friends. I wore a top with no sleeves, boob tube type with a halter neck support. I had a strapless bra under, 34A. NO WAY a year ago I would've worn that, now I feel more confident wearing it, sure the size 3 jeans and make up helped smile.gif Sexiness isn't about boobs it's a state of mind.
anna k
QUOTE
I just flat out don't understand how people think it's okay to talk about anyone's weight... talk about rude. I mean, unless you know the person well, how do you know what their food intake is like, or how much they exercise, etc etc. It's like people don't have any manners anymore.


Exactly. My aunt is a sweetheart, but can sometimes be superficial, and compliments me a lot on my looks. I just saw her this week, and she practically gasped when I took off my coat, saying how thin I was. I'm not fat, but I'm not really skinny either, and it made me feel self-conscious. At the dinner table in front of family, she would ask me how many times a week I went to the gym, saying I toned up, how much weight did I lose, and how nice my skin and hair was. It felt very uncomfortable, partly because I'm so used to myself that it doesn't feel remarkable, and not liking to be picked apart by anyone. I don't like commenting on anyone's body, negatively or postively, and when I see women at the gym who look really good, I praise their strength, like a woman who used heavy weights in a strength training class or another woman who could do these complicated push-ups. But it makes me feel uncomfortable if someone says how small I am, how I lost so much weight, or just "awwing" over my "transformation."

I know of some famous female porn stars with small breasts, like Chloe, Belladonna, and Aurora Snow. They are petite women, and implants wouldn't look right on them. I think Sasha is very intelligent and self-aware, but can also come off as pretentious or standoffish in interviews.

I used to wear stockings under my pants during the winter, and they felt good, except for when the elastic band would stick out over my pants if I lifted my shirt off. But I liked the right corset-like feeling of the stockings and how my pants could hang lower.
spot-on
Edie, she's gorgeous and definitely not far off my body size (something to aspire to!). She has a smaller waist than me though for sure. Anyone wondering what her stats are? Googled and found her stats: 5'7" 121lbs 32B. That makes her and Sasha the same boob size. Though by 'looking' I'd say Stoya was slightly smaller? I'd say I'm in between both of them body wise. I think like all women it depends on their TOM as to their boobage. Both of them are pretty darn hot IMO. Now I am motivate to lose that extra 5lbs and work on my waist!

Remember a 32B is equivalent to a 34A, iff you go up band size, you go down a cup size, and conversely if you go down a band size you're supposed to go up a cup size. If 34A fits cup size, but loose band, that SHOULD make me a 32B right? I really need to get out and try a 32B bra on.
spot-on
QUOTE(anna k @ Oct 22 2009, 07:13 AM) *
Exactly. My aunt is a sweetheart, but can sometimes be superficial, and compliments me a lot on my looks. I just saw her this week, and she practically gasped when I took off my coat, saying how thin I was. I'm not fat, but I'm not really skinny either, and it made me feel self-conscious. At the dinner table in front of family, she would ask me how many times a week I went to the gym, saying I toned up, how much weight did I lose, and how nice my skin and hair was. It felt very uncomfortable, partly because I'm so used to myself that it doesn't feel remarkable, and not liking to be picked apart by anyone. I don't like commenting on anyone's body, negatively or postively, and when I see women at the gym who look really good, I praise their strength, like a woman who used heavy weights in a strength training class or another woman who could do these complicated push-ups. But it makes me feel uncomfortable if someone says how small I am, how I lost so much weight, or just "awwing" over my "transformation."

I know of some famous female porn stars with small breasts, like Chloe, Belladonna, and Aurora Snow. They are petite women, and implants wouldn't look right on them.



Anna I agree with you wholeheartedly, but maybe you just inspired your aunt and she was looking for advice? Or she was just genuinely proud of you? I have to agree on the workout praise though, for me it's always been personal goals rather than weight loss that gives me incentive to workout. Doing more push ups or most recently doing p90X (finally completely Ab Ripper all the way through without resting). I am more inspired to workout for me own personal workout goals than to lose weight, or look a certain way. Knowing that our bodies are stronger makes the mind stronger I think.

Off to google the other women you listed smile.gif
Aithinne
I know what you guys mean about eating habits. I don't eat a lot of chocolate because I simply do not like it that much. Don't drink pop because it makes me feel bloated and uncomfortable, plus it gives me this weird slick+frictiony feeling on my teeth- idk, I can't describe it. Don't like fast food but once in a rare moon, because it just makes me feel blah. I just like healthier foods more because they taste better to me. And I hate getting dirty looks at restaurants when I order a dinner sized salad. First of all, some of those salads can be huge. Second of all, sometimes I just want a friggin salad, okay?!

On porn stars, the small breasted women in porn I've seen are mostly in the 'teen' or 'barely legal' category. Which kind of peeves and annoys me. Where's the demographic for adult women with small breasts? Grr.. but then again, I have a pedo fear due to my smallies, young-looking face, and 'cuteness' (ugh..gag).
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