Hey Allison
Well they cover you in blankets then strap your legs down it was all very comfortable. I've only ever had a couple of surgeries or proceedures and this was by far the most comfortable I'd felt in any of them.

I'll update tomorrow with a full recap of day 2

Hi ladies
Ok day 2 post-op:
Yesterday I had my first post-op appt. The Dr took off the dressings, and I got to see them for the first time. Both my husband and I were shocked cos in the bra and in the hoodie top I was wearing they looked small, naked they look BIG! I know they haven't dropped into the pocket yet, pecs are holding on firmly to the implant, but wowser! Bit of a shock to see them for the first time! I think it was surprising to see that they look totally different nude to clothed, and I can see how in clothes they will look quite conservative if I want them to! not "in your face" like some implants kwim?

At the appt the surgeon also showed me the massages he wants me to do. Squeezing the bottom of the implant up towards the collarbone, hold for few seconds and slowly releasing. 3x on each breast 3x a day. Wow that hurt on the left one! But it's gotten better as I've been doing it and I will say that the discomfort is less. Not all Dr's do the massage but mine is a big lover of massaging them, he said research shows they drop into place quicker, look more natural, promote faster healing and less risks of complications. I'm following his directions to a T!

He also said I can walk around again Last night I joined DH and the dogs for the evening walk, I was slower than usual (cos I am bloated to hell due to the meds) but I did the mile. That helped me sleep too! Walked again this morning and feeling much better.

Oh I also stopped taking the percocet as it was making me loopy, and nauseous! Dr said to just take ibruprofen so I switched to that, and honestly tomorrow I may not even bother with that.

TMI but I didn;t have a bowel movement tues or weds, but finally did this morning! Usually regular as clockwork so unusual for me. Hopefully now I am getting the meds out my system and back to eating, drinking and moving more I hope to lose that excess.

Any questions, just ask!

Hi Spot-on! Glad to hear it went well! Hope you are back to your awesome normal active self soon! I have a question... what do you mean by dropping into the pocket? I am confused about that.

Wasn't it sorta awkward having the doc massage your breasts? Seems like it would be... and him saying that he he loves doing that... what did you mean by that? Just wondering. It seemed like an odd thing. Thanks!

Hi spot-on. I'm SO glad you sound so good. I admit, I was more worried than I let on. You seemed determined to have the surgery so I wan't gonna discourage you. I'm pretty surprised, actually, as I've heard some pretty scary post-op stories, and seen some poor ladies post-op in documentaries, where they were just in severe pain afterward. I can't believe you're sitting up at the computer and going for walks(!!!). I wonder how much of that comes from your already being in great shape and health. I am relieved for you!

Keep the updates coming, and god bless!

When the surgeons go in they create a pocket in the muscle for the implant to sit in, unfortunately the top part of the pec muscle holds on too told initially to the implant preventing it from sitting into the pocket correctly so the implants are higher than they should be. Gravity takes over, and the pecs release a little and implants settle into their pocket. In the BA 'clique" it's called "dropping and fluffing" as the implant drops and gets bigger on the bottom part.

My husband was there when he massaged the breast, and honestly they call it massage but it's NOT a massage! Basically I squeeze underside of the boob then push up to the collarbone so the implant rises and falls in the pocket. Not a massage IMO but that's what they call it. DH and I call it booby squeezes!

As for the Dr being a lover of massage I simply meant he advocates the massage technique for creating soft and natural looking implants, not that he enjoys massaging (I never meant to imply that!). What I meant is that not all surgeons do the massage thing. Mine believes that it helps the implant soften up, removes fluid, and prevents complications. He believes that moving helps them settle faster and honestly from experiences I've read on forums my recovery has been MUCh quicker than others! I've walked 1 mile in the morning/evening since the evening of day 1 post op! Other women have been laid up on their backs for a whole week! so what I meant is he advocates MOVEMENT and massaging, he loves the concept that it helps with quicker recovery, less complications etc

Day 2-3
Took a shower day 2, managed to wash hair, and body except for my back which my husband did for me. I slept the whole night last night, waking up at 5.30am to use the bathroom. Then back to bed till 8am. Walked with DH for a mile after breakfast and just switched into sports bra for the first time. Now to get some work done online. Cut down on Motrin today, just having 1 every 4 hours. Honestly don't think I need that really

Hi karategrrl
Yep I think it all varies depending on the surgeon too. Mine had me up and about doing stretches the day of surgery. other surgeons say not to move at all. But that's the old thinking IMO, like they used to say lie flat on your back for 2 weeks if you had back pain, now they say to MOVE kwim?

It's day 3 post op I can move my arms freely overhead, and reach behind me (I do that hourly) and honestly I believe THAT is the biggest factor in my recovery. I also thing much of it depends on your tolerence for pain/discomfort. Honestly to me the only pain I had was waking up, and the bruising on my ribs/sternum, but that was only if I pressed on my skin, other than that just like I did a strenuous workout really, post workout soreness. Personally the damn IV going in hurt more than the surgery IMO. I'm getting my own breakfast, walking in the morning with DH and the dogs, then doing computer work in the morning, lunch, then watching tv in the afternoon. Walk in the evenings and then bed. So sure it's a LOT less than I'd normally do, but for 3 days post-op I really think the difference has been MOVEMENT like my surgeon advised. For example today I have on a sports bra (overhead entry, no clasps) and a t-shirt. Got it all on myself too!

I think this just goes to show that not everyone is the same, not all of us are going to get the same experience that we see on documentaries etc. Personally I put it all down to moving as per surgeons recommendations. I know the difference between pain, and nerves firing up and discomfort. You can move through discomfort.

Honestly I feel like I could do more if the Dr would let me but I'm not allowed to elevate my heart rate over a certain amount till week 3 due to the risk of bleeding. I feel great though honestly. I've been doing small jobs around the house like filling/emptying the dishwasher and preparing some foods, though some things are still not on my job list like lifting etc but all in all I am amazed! Cos like you I'd seen some pretty tough recovery stories and am just so glad I went with the Dr I did!

Ooooooooooooh, okay! I thought it was something like that. Thanks. As for the doc "loving" it, I guess it just could have been worded differently. That does make sense.

I have always wondered though and this is off surgery topic, about male doctors and breasts. I imagine they are trained to see it like an elbow or something? But at the end of the day, he is still a male and most males like breasts on SOME level you know? How do you turn something like that off? I have a girl doctor so it is a non issue for me, but i have always wondered.

Well I look at it the same as gynecologists, they see womens parts all day. I also have a woman gynecologists but thats a personal choice for that dept, I figure women know better than men what's what down there For breasts I think a guys opinion would be good, but yes I see your point. I guess it depends on the person and the dr. I just felt comfortable with this guy *shrug*

Hi Spot On,

I'm glad to hear that your surgery and recovery is going well. This may be too personal, so if you don't want to answer that's fine, but did you lose any sensation after your surgery? That is one of my biggest fears about the idea of augmentation. Also, what do silicone implants do when you lay down? Do they flatten out a bit or stand straight up? Sorry, just curious. Obviously I've never had to chance to ask anyone else these types of things.

Up sick with an upset stomach and stupidly decided to turn on Keeping up with the Kardashians. Now not only do I feel sick, but I have serious Kim boob envy. Her body is so amazing I would give anything to look like that. This show is definitely a trigger into boobie negativity for me. Feelin jealous Spot-on, maybe I need to consider something like that. It seems like you've done really well with everything (thank god) and I feel a little more encouraged towards considering it...

I will answer ANY questions for you all! I figure this is what we need right? And honestly I wish I'd had someone to ask!

I'm only 5 days out and can't NOT wear a bra right now, but every Plastic Surgeon is different some advocate wearing bra's others don't, some get you wearing a strap over the tops of the boobs to push the implants down, other say nope. I',m wearing a sports bra most the time now. When I lie down they do go to the sides a little already so kinda happy they act a little bit natural, though mine are still a little high and a little firm, though they are getting softer every day. I won't know how they act 'normally' until they drop fully and soften up.

As for sensation, yes I feel my boobs but not 100% right now, though again I am only 5 days post-op. My nerves are firing back up though as I've had some buzzing sensations in part of my boobs as the nerves kick in. I opted for crease incision cos I didn't want increase risk of loss of nipple sensation. But yes I definitely have sensation there, not 100% right now, but that comes back as the body settles. I won't know for sure about permanant loss of sensation till 3-6 months time.

I think that's one of the things that finally got to me. Not the Kardashians cos honestly I watch very little TV usually, but seeing women in the gym who I train and they have they great boobs and hourglass figures.

I've since found out the reason I am healing fast is due to a process called "flash recovery". Most of the surgery is done by cauterizing not scalpel, less bleeding, and one of the recovery factors is MOVEMENT.So far I'd definitely recommend this method!

I measured myself this morning. Previously I was 34A/32B depending on the bra, so far I am a 34C/32D, not sure how the implants dropping and softening will affect that. I'm still amazed at how they can look small and yet HUGE. I've read a lot about women getting emotional or depressed after breast augmentation, and I think I can understand that to an extent, though haven't experienced it myself. I am used the size now in clothes, though I haven't worn anything tight or revealing (maybe that will change my mind!) but naked they look ginormous but naked was my issue before, I had nothing above the nipple so the change naked is drastic. To someone who only saw me in a push-up/padded bra they probably wouldn;t even notice a difference!

Yeah. I guess as long as you are comfortable that is the most important thing... And I am really curious about the breat sensitivity thing too! That would also be a concern for me also. Def one of the most fav thing about my booblets!

Hi spot-on,

I know it's probably too early to report this, but with the implants under the pec muscle, I'm curious how they will look when you're doing pec exercises at the gym--like, will they squash the implant when they are flexed? Always wondered about that. I know you won't be back at the gym soon, but when you are, inquiring minds want to know!

Oh yes I'll definitely be interested in that myself! I won't be back working out for another couple of weeks yet! But I will report in here with a full report

Weirdly time appropriate after talking about sensation yesterday but lots of feeling came back in my nipples yesterday afternoon!!! Feels like sore nipples you get sometimes during your period (mine were almost always super sensitive and sore 1-2 days prior to my period). There is still a numbing of the boobs above the incision-nipple. Guessing that is gonna take longer to come back.

Last night I wore a tightish t-shirt over my sports bra when we went out to eat. Oh Boy do I have some boobs now! They have the same projection as the VS +2 size bra, BUT they shape is different. Those bra's tend to be conical? IRL the boobs are fuller and rounder compared. So those bra's will give you an idea of size but not really shape.

Hey spot-on, if you don't want to answer this tactless question, please don't. But I was wondering how much your procedure cost. Hope you don't mind my asking, but I've heard prices all over the board, plus with inflation (no pun intended, hee hee) each year you don't have a real point of reference when you read old online implant stories.

I said I would answer ANY question and I will, regardless, so please ask away!

From my research, price mostly differs according to region. I've heard prices as low as $4k and as high as $9k (new york area). Also it's going to be about $1k more for silicone implants than salines, just as an FYI. Really it depends on the area, like I said. But also other factors like education, whether they are plastic/cosmetic surgeon (you WANT plastic not cosmetic surgeon, and ensure they are board certified in PLASTIC surgery), and I've read horror stories of people going to Thailand etc for a $3k surgery.

I live in Southern California, I had consults with 3 surgeons in my area. Each gave me a price of around $6500 - $6900 for silicone. I actually ended up choosing the Dr that was the highest ($6900) purely because I felt he had the best results, best qualifications, best staff, location, surgery results, beside manner, and I just felt like he knew what *I* wanted from the surgery. I also felt like he was the most forthcoming with information, put me at ease more, and honestly I just 'clicked' with him. Ironically he was my first choice from seeing his gallery online, but I couldn't get in to see him till after I saw the other two. By then I knew what I DIDN'T want in a surgeon. The first Dr was ok, had all the same qualifications etc but I just didn't seem to gel with him that well on a personality level. 2nd wasn't board certified, and was only interested in doing salines, via belly button incision (I needed silicone) so that again we just weren't on the same wavelength, plus I didn't like the location or the office. The third like I said, we just gelled on that first consult. This was a HUGE decision for me and I wasn't going to have just anyone do the surgery, my husband was eager to go to Beverly Hills but as soon as I had my consult with Dr S, I just knew he was the guy. All his gallery results look natural and that's what I wanted.

Thanks!! I must say, the more I read of your posts, the more it's obvious you REALLY did your research.

Yes I did, and then some! I think some girls go into this too lightly and just think "Oh I'll get a boob job", let the first surgeon they meet do it and don't research anything. But this is a HUGE undertaking for me, I'm the kind of person that has to have ALL the facts. I've spent a LOT of time on google looking at augmentation info, pro's/cons, risks, and boob pics Maybe I should upgrade my status from booby perv to booby expert?

Oh geeez, yeah. I would be thinking long and hard before going under the knife for anything! Ha ha... boobie expert! Pretty much...

Ah, that's so fantastic that you're doing well, spot-on! I hope the good news keeps on coming (or should I say lack of bad news?).

I'd really like to thank you all for your input. I've finally finished reading all of the pages (whew!) of this thread and it's helped me greatly. Though I'm still a bit saddened and a bit angry at myself for feeling so down when I've so many wonderful things in my life and there were literally almost NO influence to get me to dislike my breasts. Seems so irrational. (Wrote hate but changed it. Catching yourself is kind of hard.)

But, again, thank you all. Before, I had many thoughts of suicide and self mutilation that I played out in my head, not always centering around breasts, and they've become extremely rare that I find that thinking whenever it crops up to be extremely disturbing and try to get myself away from that mindset. (Needless to say, I've horrible insecurities.) I never acted upon these thoughts. I feel as if I've made great progress to try and love other people's beauty, though it seems to have back-lashed and I'm thinking negatively? I negate those thoughts right away and find something beautiful about them, but I still find it terrible that I even think negative thoughts about them.

*Ramble Over*

Just saw a commercial for H&M featuring two beautiful smaller breasted ladies advertising some valeur sweater or something, though it was kind of strange since it looked like the girl in the back was groping the other girls shoulders.

Does H&M stand for anything?

H&M = Hennes & Moritz. I'm just bitter the bastards don't let US/CA customers shop online.

Glad to hear you are doing so well, Spot-On! I'd like to say that I think we all appreciate your candor in answering questions regarding your surgery.

I second that. Though I'd like to emphasize that this is still a place for the small-busted to support each other. I admit I'm intrigued by the fact that you seem to have had no issues so far, spot-on, and for me surgery is tempting as far as how thrilling it would be to go bra shopping. But I still think I could never actually do it myself. If there were other good options, I'd check them out, but so far none of them (fat injections, macrolane, etc.) really seem safe, lasting or reasonable. I'm still hoping for menopause to give me big 'uns like it did my mom. I seem to be one of the few ladies out there who doesn't get any anhancement from birth control pills. Rats!

PS: I LUUUUV H&M. Speaking of body types, they are one of the few stores that sells clothing that fits me and is age-appropriate (and reasonably priced to boot!). And the way their pants are constructed, they allow for easy alterations. I always have to take everything in and/or up.

Thanks girls, and yes I will answer ANY and ALL questions because I honestly think knowledge is power. Surgery isn't for all of us, but it's an option for some. If my experience can help in any way (for or against surgery) then I am proud to participate.

Karategrrl, it's so annoying when our families seem to get all the boobs huh? My Mom is naturally big so I always felt like "when is this boob gene gonna kick in?". Alas never did! Yep I looked into the natural alternatives, I've done the herbs, and that didn't work. THe transfers aren't permanent.

On a small boob note, I saw Resident Evil: Afterlife last night, with Mila Jojovich (probably a small A cup) and Ali Larter (I'd say A or small B cup). They kicked ass. I love Mila's clothing in that movie!

Oh YES, Milla and Ali. They rock it. Someone once told me I reminded him of Milla. I died. One of the best compliments ever.

Mine never reacted to birth control either. I've been on 3 different kinds and got negative side effects but never the one positive one! I finally got a mirena IUD and it seems to have none of the negatives but also no boob enhancement, as I had expected.

If I could get bigger boobs from BC pills, I'd stay on massive doses until the day I died, haha. How cool would that be, though? "Take one pill a day for 1-cup enhancement, 2 for 2, etc."

I am also in this club. I went on earlier this year. *sigh*

Wowzers! How long did that take? I tried once but I just didn't have the patience... more like skimmed. BTW, so glad that you've never reacted on those negative thoughts. Keep em out! Just keep seeking positive people and you should be okay!

Had to share my great find with my fellow small busties. For those of you who like the Victorias Secret 2 cup sizes bra, Target is currently selling a MUCH cheaper version of the same bra-it was originally priced at 16.99, but I got one on clearance today for $11.99. I think the one by VS is around $50- so this is a great deal. The smallest size is a 32A- but that fits me all right and I am only a AA. It also looks a little smaller than the VS one so it doesnt give off as much of the huge fake boob look. It comes in black, white, hot pink, beige, and this leopard print.

It's by self-expressions, here's the link:

http://www.target.com/Self-Expressions-Tim...mp;frombrowse=0

Merry Christmas to us!

Thanks! Yeah, I have the best luck bra shopping at Target. Go figure!

Ok 2 weeks since my surgery so thought I'd update today.

Had the steristrips off my incision, they look good! Much better than I imagined! Dr recommended Mederma to reduce scarring. Still have to do massage for another 6 weeks. At same appt last week Dr said I could sleep however was comfortable so I am sleeping on my side again and so much better! Was weird first night or two due to the weight of the implant and gravity pulling it down sideways which I wasn't used to. As an aside my boobs touch when I am on my side giving me cleavage, something I haven't had before!

Yesterday I went shopping for bra's. I wanted sports/comfy bra's but tried on an underwire too (Target). I took in 34C and 34D and the 34D fits better in the cup! The band is a little big so I may need 32DD. Now I am only 2 weeks post-op so some swelling may still be in effect here. Though honestly they DO NOT look like D's! I look like maybe a large B, small C cup. In most clothing I look no different than I did before the surgery when I was wearing a padded push up bra. Still too early to determine permanant size as most ladies I have spoken to say that they change a lot during the first 6 months - 1 year.

Still healing, but the boobs are getting softer and more 'pliable'. They are jiggling a little if I move so I think the skin is getting softer and less tight. Over the weekend they have been feeling less tight and artificial feeling and more like "me". I no longer even think about them being there except for my massage/mederma routine. The weird thing is the rate at which you get used to the sheer size of them. I hardly even notice anymore, even naked when they initially seem HUGE (which comparatively they were) now they just look in proportion.

I go back mid January now for 6 week post-op appt. Overall right now, I am pretty happy!

Any questions just ask!

Yea! Go Target! But I cannot say Go "figure" since I do not really have one really.

Wondermist, I was thinking about your post a few days ago about your concerns about negative thoughts about other peoples looks. I think a lot of times we do that as a way of trying to feel better ourselves, you know? Yea, not good! We should seek beauty in each other. I have problems with that, too...

Yay Target-that bra even comes in my size which I have a really hard time finding!

Some loving reprimanding here, Kerabear. Of course you have one!! <<hug>>

spot-on, I wonder if at some point you might be willing to share your before and after pics--maybe via private bust messaging. I know the doctors have to take them, right?

Give me a break Kera . Some "loving reprimanding" from me too, and maybe a spanking too !

Yes I have before/afters. Well afters, so far. I don't mind sharing at all. I actually have some befores in a bikini too, and am going to be taking after pics in the same bikini, so I don't mind sharing those!

Loving reprimanding accepted! Yea... I have to a better job of being nice to myself sometimes.

And Allison... Oh my!

Instead of a swearing jar, we should institute a negative-body-talk jar.

Thanks! I'm really curious, though I know it will be awhile before we can really see the true "after," as it's only been 2 weeks and I know they take awhile to settle and the swelling to go down. I am breathing a sigh of relief for you that everything seems to have gone so well! I don't perosnally know you, but I was really concerned!

Curious--I know with the saline implants, a common complaint is a "sloshing" noise. Obvoously, you don't have this with the "gummy" types you got, but how do they feel when you move around? Is there a sensation of something foreign moving around? And can you feel the edges when you touch them? That's another complaint I've heard--from men--but I think this might have been another saline-only issue.

You have been so open and honest about all of this. Really incredible.

Yep I am working on getting pics done today for afters, so we can compare 2 weeks out

I've heard the same about the salines, most surgeons overfill them now to stop that, and lessen the risk of rippling and rupture which are also common in salines. Rippling is when you see the outline of the implant or creases in the saline bag through the skin. All reasons that put me off salines. They aren't generally recommended for women with very little breast tissue because of these reasons.

Nope I can't feel the implant when I touch my boobs it feels like all boob, especially now they are getting squishier Right now they still look very round looking and obviously fake, but once they settle a little more they'll look much more natural. It's strange cos initially they just felt heavy and the skin was so tight across my boobs and chest, now it just feels like me, yep even at 2 weeks they feel like me. I don't feel anything moving under the skin. THe only weird sensation I had was yesterday when my pecs decided to "come back to life" and have started contracting when I lift something heavier than I should. The pecs contract and move the implants out and up a little. It's something you get with unders but I had a similar thing beforehand where my boobs would move. Odd sensation now cos you feel the implant under the muscle, not uncomfortable but weird feeling the first few times it happened. Today I'm pretty used to it, lol. I am gonna see how that feels in a week or so when I'm allowed to workout again, I've heard push ups are weird, but still able to do.

I'm pretty much open and honest about everything IRL too, an open book as people say. Plus information is power

Yes. Everytime someone says negative self talk we can use the codeword "Jar"

Karategrrl, glad you mentioned the pic thing. Was gonna ask but was afraid i would come off as a creeper, haha...

A picutre's worth a thousand words with stuff like this. Plus, I've seen a bazillion "befores" and "afters" on commercial web sites, but never had total confidence that the good-looking "afters" haven't been altered, you know? Spot-on's pics would be from a trusted source.

And yes, spot-on, knowledge is POWER!

I agree I've seen some great before/afters and you wonder if they were photoshopped, but then I've also seen some terrible before/afters so who knows! lol! I know that so far I am very happy with how things turns out, though I am far from done healing and "dropping" yet.

Hoping to get pics done before xmas, if not it'll be next week! I'll post when I have the after 'so far' shots

I saw a sticker today that said "I'm not perfect... but parts of me are incredible!" I think I will adopt this mantra. Yes, even for my booblets!

I have a t-shirt that says something similar "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!". It was from abercrombie & fitch but I picked it up for a buck at the thrift store

Love it--both the T and your outlook!

Hi, I've never posted but I lurk on a pretty regular basis.

I've found myself in an interesting situation with another girl and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Are you ready for a monster of a post?

Some back story: I just graduated from college and the friends I made there were VERY supportive of my body type (I barely fill out a 32A cup, and the rest of me is on the line between skinny and pear-shaped. I like my butt, sort of). I was spoiled by them, for sure. They always made me feel beautiful. Now I'm in a new place with new people, and the girl I get along with the best has a nasty habit of putting me down. I know, I know, how can I say that we get along then? Well, everyone else is worse, believe me.

But back to this girl . . . I think she may have self-esteem issues that she's taking out on me. She's a dominant female, for sure, and what she says to me is always delivered in a slightly aggressive, mean tone. She'll say things like "you don't need a bra, you have no breasts" (I don’t wear bras, btw, and if I have to it’s only to hide my nipples during professional events) and so on and so forth. It happens over and over again. Not only does she point out my lack of a chest, this girl goes out of her way to point out her big tits CONSTANTLY when I'm around, and even worse, when other people are around too. I won't rehash everything she's said; just suffice to say I'm sick of it.

I've been dealing with low self-esteem for a long time and I don't need her negativity bringing me down, but we are forced to live in super close proximity for the next few months. How do I tell her to quit it? I’ve never had a girl try so hard to bring me down before .

Luckily for me this story has some happy moments. I have two occasions to relate, but first I will be referring to myself as S, the mean girl as N, and the hero of the day as E.

Like I mentioned, N pointed out my body shape on more than one social occasion, and on two of these E (a boy) stood up for me!!! Who would have thought, right? Anyways, I can’t figure out how to say this without saying it all so here goes:

I'm good friends with an Australian guy - from here on A - and I was asking him what he thought about Australia banning small breasts and squirting (this was out of genuine curiousity - and we're a pretty open group.) So we’re talking about this and I'm feeling pretty good about myself regardless because I'm drunk, and E comes in and asks what we're talking about. I was listening to A and didn't answer. N fills him in, and then apropos of NOTHING she says "yeah, S is flat and she wouldn't be allowed to do porn in Australia . . ." I sort of shout, "hey, what????" in total disbelief. If we were having a conversation about modeling would I say to someone "oh yeah, we're talking about modeling because N could never be a model . . ." NO!!!!! WTF? She couldn’t, by the way. Anyways, E looks at me and asks “what’s wrong with your breasts?”, tells me I'm sexy, then calls me "sweet tits." Seriously. I almost died laughing.

Another time N was yet again talking about her AND her mother's enormous breasts (some ridiculous story about how they put deodorant under there). So I'm drunk again (I swear I'm not an alcoholic) and I look down at my chest and say under my breath "no need to worry about that." One girl started cracking up, then E looks at me, puts both thumbs up and goes, "hell yeah" !!!!!!!!!! The best part was that N got super defensive and tried to defend big titties to this room of people who were clearly on my side (the girl cracking up has a problem with N too, I think she understands my frustration with her blatant power plays).

The best, best part is that I know N has a mini-crush on E, but he's totally into me. AND he's German, so he comes from the land of titty and still thinks I'm hot. AND he's sexy.

Ladies, there are men out there who want your little titties, no matter your body type.

Anyways, he’s gone now , hence my current problem of continuing to deal with this girl. Any advice? Sorry for such a long, mostly incoherent post; sometimes I just need a wild vent.

Well until I read the end of your post I was going to suggest "F--K them both, only in different ways". Bummer that he's gone and you still have to deal with her.

I'll be interested in any suggestions other people have about this girl. She sounds VERY much like an acquaintance of mine who I've mentioned in here before - a girl I've known socially for years and see just a few times a year but every single time I've seen her, she brings up her large boobs in conversation. I always joke to myself that when I see her I'm going to say something like "Hi Courtney, nice to see you and your boobs, how have the three of you been doing?"

This chick is also a very alpha female and while she comes across as super-confident and is always putting other people down I suspect she has a very low self-esteem and overcompensates, which is what your "friend" sounds like.

I haven't bothered to address the issue with the girl I know because I see her so seldom. Probably the best approach for you would be to speak to this girl sincerely and ask her to stop - be kind to her and ask her to be kind to you in return. But boy, it'd be hard not to fight fire with fire and start cracking jokes about udders, sagging, and how gross it must be under there if she has to use deodorant. "Hey - I can't find the cat - can you check under your boobs?"

I don't suggest you do that - it's mean and I feel bad for even having such thoughts. Just goes to show how contagious meanness is.