Dec 4 2007, 01:22 PM
indeed knorl, easier said that done.....hmmm.....i've had to think about this for awhile for i could respond. unless you live in a cave, under a rock somewhere i think it is close to impossible to not be exposed to negative images, stereotypes, what have you that are out there. exposure in and of itself is going to influence you whether you like it or not. but like all other negative concepts that we are innundated with through this medium (say, casual racism, sexism, xenophobia etc) we have to make a concerted and conscious effort to change our cognitive pathways. my mom (the shrink) has always chastized me for saying negative things outloud or just in my head. she always said, 'yes, your logical mind understand that isn't true (e.g. i'm whore, i'm fat, i'm stupid, i'm undeserving, you name it) but your subconcious mind hears it and doesn't not how to discern what is a true perception and what is a distortion.' in that way i think we have control over how we feel about our bodies regardless of the media influence. and i completely agree, that power is what makes us amazing individuals.
Dec 6 2007, 09:28 AM
dj biz is my favoritest! just had to say that... will reply more laters. :-D
Dec 6 2007, 12:24 PM
awww, knorl!! *blushes* i'm just happy there's a like-minded soul (i.e. you darlink!
) out there in the world. i want to revive this thread, but i don't know quite how. i guess we haven't had any new-comers lately and that tends to slow things down.
Dec 7 2007, 01:01 PM
dj biz: you are the absolute coolest. period.
i love what your mom said, about our subconscious mind vs our logical minds. because so much of who we are rests within our subconscious minds that we're not even aware of until we bring it to light. and then once we realize that 'hey this entirely negative thought i have about myself, simply isnt true'.. we're then able to replace it with a healthier, and more accurate belief. same is the case for our desirability (which can translate to our self worth) being dependent upon one aspect of our female bodies. thinking that we have to prove our attractiveness because we are built differently than those with a more idealized form, is, or can be, a waste of time and energy. something that i'm not ashamed to say i have done through the years. i just think it's unfortunate that all these less-thoughtful beliefs seem to influence and affect our own simply because they've been widely accepted. different value systems is all i would say.. what do you think?
Dec 7 2007, 09:10 PM
I had to check back in with you all and see what's up. I've been thinking of you ladies lately. I've been working out like a fiend, shedding a little weight I had gained. I've been really getting into it, hitting the weights too, feeling great, getting strong & muscular. Of course, though, I swear my tiny breasts have gotten even smaller. Couple that with the fact that there just aren't (to my knowledge) any lightly padded workout bras (like the lightly padded regular bras I wear to work to hide my highbeams). I am almost shocked looking at myself in the mirror at the gym--like, "Who is that flat-chested girl?"
So I was working out tonight, feeling great about the rest of my bod but annoyed about my chest. On the TV in there was one of those celebrity shows. Within like 5 minutes of each other were features about Keira Knightley's racy pictures in Interview mag, and Charlize Theron--both of whom looked gorgeous (and also both of whom have teeny chests like me). I have to say it's not like they reported, "Look at Keira Knightley...she'd look hot if only she had breasts!" They just commented that she's hot and moved on. It was shockingly refreshing.
So I'm having kinda mixed feelings tonight--liking my new bod, not liking my even smaller tits, liking the fact that there are implant-free, small-breasted hotties out there strutting their stuff shamelessly, yet I'm so totally PO'ed that I seem to be the only woman in all of creation who went on birth control pills and did NOT experience breast growth as a "side effect." (I did Internet research on my birth control and found comments from others who'd gone on it...several women mentioned the breast growth. One mentioned going from an A to C cup. God forbid that should happen to me...)
Oh, and last week I and the hubby were joking around about past lovers and how extremely large breasts are hard to deal with in sexual situations (Not to knock any large-busted ladies who may be reading.) But I was laughing about how I'd fooled around with this very large-breasted woman and, being used to very small breasts, I was totally preplexed at what to actually DO with them. Well, the hubby had to one-up me, of course, and said he's had large breasts in his hands, mouth, had his dick between them... and then said, "And now I have you, and that's all I need," but then of course I have this image of him in my head titty-fucking someone, knowing full well he could never do that with me. *Sniff*
I went to a holiday party last week. The hostess was wearing one of those little camisole tops with the shelf bra--the kind that makes me look so totally flat. She had this cleavage line between her breasts. Just once in my life, I think I'd like to know what that's like. *Sigh.* I wonder what it's like to feel some weight there, to actually have something to put into a bra...heck, to be able to FIND decent bras! Speaking of which, don't you just get the biggest laugh at those TV segments and magazine articles about how to put a bra on properly: "With the bra straps over your shoulders, bend over, letting your breasts dangle. Center your breasts in the bra cups, hook it in the back, stand up, and adjust your breasts again anywhere they might be spilling out." Yeah, right.
Sorry guys, guess I'm just rambling tonight. Send me some breast lovin' if you can. Trying to feel confident, but feeling a bit down.
Dec 7 2007, 09:41 PM
Speaking of which, don't you just get the biggest laugh at those TV segments and magazine articles about how to put a bra on properly: "With the bra straps over your shoulders, bend over, letting your breasts dangle. Center your breasts in the bra cups, hook it in the back, stand up, and adjust your breasts again anywhere they might be spilling out." Yeah, right.
LOL! Yes. I'm so glad there are ladies out there who share my feelings and experiences when it comes to this stuff.
Dec 7 2007, 10:06 PM
karategrrl, you can consider me the 2nd woman in the world to not experience breast size increase on birth control pills *waves hand in the air frantically*
Dec 8 2007, 03:24 AM
Oh, yeah, me three. I think they got a little bigger, but I gained more weight in my upper arms, stomach, and face, so it wasn't noticeable. I had my hopes beforehand, but no dice.
Dec 8 2007, 12:19 PM
QUOTE(anonymoose96 @ Dec 8 2007, 04:23 AM)
karategrrl, you can consider me the 2nd woman in the world to not experience breast size increase on birth control pills *waves hand in the air frantically*
Thanks, guys, for giving me a good laugh! Yah, like, somehwere during the 2nd week of my going on the pill, I swear my breasts grew--a LITTLE. I started getting all excited, trying on my lingerie that I never quite filled out, dreaming of my breasts to come, wondering why on Earth I didn't think of this sooner...then, just as quickly as they had swelled up, they deflated once again. DANG IT!
When my gyno asked me how the birth control was going, I told him it was great except for no breast growth, and he jokingly said, "Well, I could double your dosage!" Even if he wasn't kidding, no thanks--I don't want crazy mood swings or blood clots.
When I get down, I try and think of all my features I DO like. And, of course, I remember to be grateful to be healthy, to have my hearing, sight, all my limbs, no serious medical issues. I try to remember that there are tons of folks out there who would give anything to be a healthy 30-something with a small chest.
Love you guys!!
Dec 10 2007, 12:42 PM
me four, karategrrl! i had my gyno put me on the highest estrogen dose that is legal under the law. i was on it for about three or four months. all it resulted in was marked mood swings and mild insanity. my boobies stayed exactly the same. waddyagonna do? for me, i'm dealing with genetics.
with all the fluctuations in my weight, i've never had an increase or decrease in my breast size. my fat goes straight to my ass, and lately it's been collecting around my stomach, which i HATE. i wouldn't mind having a little belly if i was more balanced out on top, but since my bottom half is so heavy (in a good way) i really like having a thin torso so i don't end up looking like a log. sigh.
i feel you on the cleavage thing though, sometimes i just want to know what it feels like. maybe i'll try a water bra or something. just the feeling of weight. i kinda get a kick out of how they bounce when i run. sometimes i'll just jiggle in front of the mirror to get a laugh. is that weird? probably.
i'm with you on staying positive, no one, not even so-called perfect looking actresses and models are totally happy with the way they look (except for maybe linda evangelista, but whatever). it's important to compliment yourself, outloud or in your head. it reminds me of that campy, physics movie called 'what the bleep do we know.' there is a whole section about perception being reality and if you change your perception, you can actually change the structure of the tiny particles of the universe. there's that one scene where the woman is looking in the mirror, thinking that she's fat and her thighs keep expanding. i know it sounds kind of silly, but i think if you keep affirming what is beautiful about you, those things will become more apparent. ok, so maybe it's a little over the top to think that by talking to your stomach it will magically be thinner, but seeing it as beautiful will help you psychologically, and hey, it can't hurt, it might help, right?!
as to what you posted knorl: in terms of widely accepted beliefs and norms influencing even the enlightened, more open thinkers, abso-fucking-lutely friend! all human beings have the desire to be accepted and loved by other human beings. it's very basic to our nature. we're a social species and no one enjoys being a total outcasts. even freaks and outliers get together with other freaks and outliers. the truly rejected, anti-social people are the kind that go shooting up schools and malls (case in point what just happened in Nebraska). so i think that no matter how much we know logically that these standards for our bodies are ridiculous and that they are set by some unknown force that wishes to make money off us by selling us make up, plastic surgery and expensive clothes, despite our knowledge and understanding of those mechanisms, deep down, we still want to be accepted by the general population. nobody likes rejection. i don't care how cool and counter-culture you are. underneath all of that tough, free-thinking exterior is still a human being hoping to be loved by the people around her/him. in order to combat this innate desire, you have to satiate it in a different way, i.e. by focusing on the positive aspects of your body and recognizing the people in your life that do love and accept you. that's why it is so validating when you have a significant other tell you that you're beautiful or that he/she loves your breasts. of course, we want to love and accept ourselves without the affirmations of others, and no one can truly love you until you can love yourself, but those kinds of affirmations are essential to our mental well-being. they satisfy the desire to be accepted. it's lonely out there on the fringe, that's no reason to adopt a cookie-cutter personality/lifestyle, but next time you are feeling tough and bold, thinking you've risen above all of this bullshit, it's important to mentally check yourself. 'I am still a human being. I am still yearning for love and acceptance. I will not achieve this love and acceptance by sacrificing my values or beliefs. I will find others that value the same thing. These people will form my community and provide me with the support I need.'
that's why BUST is so fantastic and why i love having all you ladies out there for me. we're on the same page, for the most part, and we've created a positive and accepting community outside the status quo.
whew. blah blah blah blah. i guess i had a lot to say on that subject.
small-breasted hotties, holla back!
Dec 10 2007, 03:28 PM
wow. dj biz. you were so right on with all of that. being honest with ourselves is essential to our well being, i have found. very very well said, thank you for your insight.
Dec 11 2007, 09:01 AM
I was on the GAP body website this morning and discovered they sell training bras, out of curiosity I wondered if they came in my size, there are days when underwire and padding make me feel like I've reverted to the times of corsets and I just don't care if my breasts don't look like a B cup. I had so much waterweight gain last month I was just wearing tank tops under my clothes, one benefit of being A, it don't matter if your wearing a bra... but I digress, turns out GAP Body does sell every size in A as a training bra and no underwire and lightly padded!!!! I may have to go and try one on now : D
Dec 12 2007, 08:29 AM
it totally freaks me out to see 'training' bras that are padded. i mean, my god, it's a training bra, it's for right at the beginning of your development. if you are wearing a training bra, you shouldn't be worried about the size of your breasts because you shouldn't even be concerned with being sexually attractive yet. sheesh!
i've said it before in here, but it makes me absolutely INSANO that i can't find an a-cup bra that isn't padded six way from sunday. one's with removeable pads are tolerable, i suppose. i'm not bashing all padded bras, but i would like to be able to make that choice for myself rather than be forced into by the manufacturer.
Dec 12 2007, 09:33 AM
Dj, I just bought one at H&M- underwire, sheer lace cups, zero padding, in black (36A). However it's only for the week before my period because I'm not really an A cup any other time. I bought a 34A bra a little white ago and then realized that while the cups fit, the band size is too small and leaving serious marks on my skin. Which means I'm actually a 36AA, probably.
Dec 12 2007, 09:53 AM
if only we had H&M here in the dirty south! sigh. i've always thought that i was a 34A, and generally that size fits. i wish i could work up the courage to just have the old biddies at the department store measure me. though i don't necessarily trust them either (one lady gave me the up and down and said i was a 36B, what i wouldn't do to be a B-cup!!!).
i actually bought some cute bras from the hated and despised victoria's secret, but they are an italian brand. they had one kind that can be worn as a halter style as well, i love love love it.
Dec 12 2007, 11:47 AM
Oh yeah, halter-style is great for creating almost-cleavage, I've found.
Dec 12 2007, 05:14 PM
'almost cleavage,' now there is a phrase i have heard and uttered all too often!
Dec 16 2007, 07:05 PM
Dec 16 2007, 08:36 PM
i too often relate to the "almost cleavage". i havent' checked in here for awhile, but wanted to add a bit to what's being written here.
dj-biz: i have for most of my life so with you on the "i just want to know what it feels like" bit that you wrote. i finally got to know what it feels like because last year i had my first baby and decided to breastfeed. 24 hours after you give birth your breasts swell up big and hard. (yes i know!) and within a few weeks i couldn't believe that i, who has most of my life pretty much been a 34AA blew up to a 34b-c. after the initial few weeks, i lost my post baby stomach and i couldn't stop staring at my new big boobs! the weird thing is they were also big and firm like a boob job. the only thing is i was so busy with trying to feed baby with them that the last thing i was thinking about was how to showcase these things. also, i found out that women with boobs have to figure out what to do with them. once i was lying on my side and then i tried to roll onto my front and my boob got caught under my arm! i never learned to deal with these things....
anyways, i stopped breastfeeding about 2 months ago, and my boobies are pretty much exactly as they were before. i was glad to have gone there, but i wished i had kept a bit, like gone to a A cup! my husband said he's happy that the old me is back (he doesn't really care for large ones anyways) because many women, even tiny-boobed ones can get "mudflaps" after breastfeeding. oh dear, what's worse than tiny ones? tiny saggies, that's what. but i am glad to have experienced it, and strangely, i'm less enamored of having big ones than i ever have.
just my experience, and might not impact anything, but i feel sure that we're all so loaded up with the message of "if it's not all that important, why is it always so important?". i did experience it for a while, and never more have i ever felt that i wish i could have boobs only temporarily for those cleavage outfits. otherwise, they are pretty inconvenient.
Dec 17 2007, 04:39 AM
Hi there, i'm new here. I've been reading you and I can relate, so much..
Dec 17 2007, 05:44 AM
Allright, I just need to talk / write to someone, even if it's a small breast support group! I know that no one wants to listen to this crap, i've lost my best friend on past year and since then i feel like i'm gonna blow sometimes. I've allways had a flat-chest, like a 32 A or AA, i don't even know.. i just pop into a chinese store and get the smallest and more padded bra i find. I don't even dream going braless as i'd look boyish and ridiculous.
I'm 23 years old and even though i always wanted to have breasts and faked them in all possible ways ever, i never really thought of it that seriously. Not until i started dating my actual boyfriend, for about a year. I know he loves me to death and likes my boobs and he wants me to believe there's really not a problem that i have them so small but.. He's a breast-man, he's obsessed about big boobs. He has never had a small-breasted girl before me as he says small breasts didn't attracted him. He even told me it was "funny" to be with me for the first time. I guess he can't imagine how it hurts to know that, yet i told him.
At the begining i just felt jealous everytime a boobed girl passed by or when we were watching some movie. I'm bisexual so i am really atractted to girls too and never had problems talking sexually about one or another. I dated a guy for 3 years and we used to go to this fancy strip club and never even thought about my breasts with him. Now with this guy, i had to ask him not to comment about other girls as a respect for my feelings.
I started an acne treatment about April this year (that worked perfectly) and the dermathologist changed my BC pill. After a month i went on a pregnancy test as my boobs were so full. Negative, thank god, it was just the pill. I think you can imagine my happiness, it seemed my whole life had changed. I started being able to wear a small cleavage (still with padded bras and silicone pads, but it worked!). They were pretty painful but i didn't care. My boyfriend started looking more at them and i was feeling really sexy. Even summer felt better. But then, they shrank. So i'm dealing with a flat-chest again and crying everytime i pick a sexy bra or t-shirt i impulsively bought at that time. Worst, i've lost all my dignity and have cried in front of my boyfriend almost everyday for the past week. He has been a bit patient as i can't ask him to be more comprehensive. Is his head, i believe he likes my breasts as he loves me for what i am and for the whole package, but in my head, he has never looked at them again as he used to on the BC pill. I'm depressed. Crying everyday for something like this, i call it depression.
I dream about him getting turned on by just looking at my breasts, i dream about feeling womanly, i dream about having a cleavage and i dream about not wearing super padded bras and silicone pads just to feel and look normal. I am trying to get rid of those ridiculous bras but i just can't. Until then, i just cry.
Dec 17 2007, 11:51 AM
vendetta: considering this aspect of whom you are constructs such a large part of your self esteem/perception, i would suggest you look into therapy. it is very upsetting to read that so much of your life is affected by your breast size.
i would also like to point out that although you have a very negative opinion of your breasts, it would be respectful of other smaller breasted busties to refain from using such phrases as "flat chested". derogatory terms such as these carry very harmful connotations, and our intent here is to challenge the erroneous messages and labels we hear, not encourage them.
if you continue to feel this low over your physical appearance, eventually you will push your boyfriend away. i dont know your boyfriend, but it's asking a lot of him to continue reassuring you that you are beautiful when you dont believe him. just imagine if he were painfully ashamed of his penis size, and constantly looked to you for reassurance that you find him attractive. after a while, after so much time of trying to convince him you find him appealing, you'd eventually move onto someone who didnt have so many hang ups. not because you dont love him, but because it is mentally and emotionally draining to have to maintain that role in a relationship.
other busties may not agree with this bit of advice i'm about to give, but oh well. the way i see it is if you feel your happiness rests in how large or how small your breasts are.... get them done. if your self image is so deeply affected by the size of your breasts, change them. but if you feel you can be happy -or if you'd like to be happy - with your body as it is, work on loving and accepting yourself just as you are. that includes to stop telling yourself you are ugly, worthless, or otherwise inferior to women with larger breasts.
Dec 17 2007, 09:14 PM
Hi Ladies! I haven't been on in quite a while but I'm glad to see that you are all doing well.
Vendetta, I feel for you so much. Reading your story, I was transported back in time to a previous relationship. He was a breast guy, 100%. When he and I were together I absolutely hated the way I looked. I knew that he liked large chested women and I tortured myself with that fact. I would never let him see me with the lights on and always shied away from him touching my chest. I saw the way that he looked at large chested women and every time he did so I hated myself even more. When we had difficulty in the relationship I blamed it all on myself and convinced myself that every argument came down to me not being good enough for him. I seriously thought that if I had had larger breasts that our relationship would have worked.
Fast forward five years and here I am. Looking back I realize that if my small breasts weren't a big issue to him (as he assured me time and time again), I wouldn't have felt the way that I did. I, like you, have been in relationships with men where my breast size is a complete non-issue. So why is it different with this guy? Now, I am not in any way saying that he would be valid disliking your chest, nor am I saying that your insecurities are okay but the fact of the matter is this: A breast man is a breast man. He can't help what turns him on and maybe that's a sign that you should let him go be with someone who does. Any man who truly loved you for you would not need to be told not to ogle other women in front of you or make comments about their breasts. Especially when he knows how much it bothers you. Knorl is right about needing to talk to someone, but more importantly I think you need to examine your relationship. And as far as getting that boob job, I say that you should do what you feel is right but please talk to someone first. Who's to say that after you get a boob job that you won't fixate on another part of your body? Or that his comments about other women will stop? And if they do, why should you have to change yourself to fit his standard of beauty? Doesn't that bother you? Think about it: Would you want him top change the way he looks or do you love him just the way that he is? If you need to change the way that you look to satisfy him that is a conditional love. Maybe you're better off on your own and loving your self. Once you have gained love and respect for your own body, you will be able to distinguish those who really love the person that you are from those who love pieces of you.
Looking back now I realize that my low self esteem was what kept me in that relationship for so long trying continually to please him. Guess what? After me he dated a woman who was a DD and his eye was still wandering and to this day he has never been truly satisfied. Me? I love my self and am happily single. I am a beautiful, intelligent, unique individual and I will not settle for someone who is less than I deserve. My breasts are still an A cup, but if that's not good enough for some guy, then he isn't good enough for me. There are plenty of men out there who find small chested women beautiful, and more importantly, men who don't focus on physical aspects when choosing a mate. But honey, no one can love you until you love yourself.
Dec 18 2007, 04:30 AM
You're both absolutely right in everything you say. I've been a self-confident person almost my entire life and have been pretty happy with my appearance. That is what's bothering me now, how can my self image change this much in just about a year and had started because of a guy? I have to stop blaming him just because he has preferences and forgive him for the things he've said cause he didn't mean harm. He's a caring and loving person and would do just about anything for me. I think it just has been easier to blame him for feeling this way than to accept that i'm having a problem myself.
My breast stopped growing when i was 12 years old and i still wear the same size my first bra was. I've never been ashamed of that and allways tried to focus on my good things. I didn't love my breasts, i just didn't thought of them. It's like when you're asleep and then you wake up. One day i noticed that i really didn't had those things that i was becoming so conscious of. Suddenly I looked consciously at another woman's breasts and thought "My God, those are so beautiful, it must be awesome to feel feminine and powerful that way". And then looked at myself. And then took a good look at those ultra padded bras and those huge silicone pads i use to wear. And started thinking of all the times i had to run into the bathroom to take those thing off first, just to go back noticeably smaller. Or all the times i felt so unconfortable with my high-maintenance "cleavage" and kept hiding myself from everyone to put the bra and the pads on their place. And i felt ridiculous and ashame of myself. And then i took those things off and noticed that i really don't have any breast tissue. And that being this skinny-with-no-hips-and-no-boobs just didn't felt right. Everyone takes me for an 18 year old girl, yet i drive a car, i live alone, i pay for my own bills. I'm a woman and i want so hard to feel like one. But then, i know i don't need boobs to feel womanly. I shouldn't need. Everytime i undress and look in the mirror i try to tell myself that my boyish torso has nothing to do with being or not a woman. I'll never feel the power of a cleavage, i'll never feel the weight of a bosum and i'll never have my boyfriend drooling at my chest. I don't have money for a boob job. Maybe someday i wil, but it will take a lot of time to have that money considerating that i have another priorities. I'm never going to love my chest as there isn't any, i just have to go back in time when i just accepted that. But this time, trying not to stuff myself to death in pads. Thank you for your replies, i think it has helped me a lot just being able to talk to someone that feels or had felt the same way i do. Baci
Dec 18 2007, 05:06 AM
aw dear vendetta. it is amazing how our relationships can have such a profound affect on our self esteem.. both positively and negatively. it sounds like although your bf doesnt intend it to be, it happens to be the latter for you. i guess i've always been very fortunate that the guys i date dont really care that i've got little to barely-there breast tissue. they've always dug me for other things, namely my character. but i'm not going to pretend that i havent (and still do) use pads and silicon gel inserts.. i've got booty and thighs and i have always wanted my figure to feel more balanced. the way you describe how you tend to feel about your body, reminds me of my deeper body issues which have reflected the same sentiments. i guess, with age, i've come to not pay attention to such things as much. the water bras are just a normal part of my drobe now, and for the most part, i'm ok with that. i've never really wanted fake
boobs, stuck inside of me, so thats not been an option for me. i think i'm doing pretty well as i am. so i'm not perfect.. oh the fuck well.. you know. not many people can say they honestly think they are, and those who do, as far as i'm concerned arent very interesting people anyway. in conclusion.
this all comes down to your values, what is important to you
.. independent of what anyone else thinks.
Dec 18 2007, 05:28 AM
Hei there Knorl, i know that in the end i'll be just fine, i think i just had to hit the bottom since i've been freaking out about it the whole year. And the experience i had of having a bit of breast tissue was like stealing candy from a child. It was like, it's good, wasn't it? Now deal with it and give back all of those fancy things that don't fit you anymore! I'm a smart girl who was raised in good education and love and i feel ashamed enough of myself for feeling this way while there's so many real problems on another parts of my life. And so many good stuff happening at the same time as i'm studying photography as i was willing for and everything in my life is just getting better as time passes by. And i'm worried cause i don't have breasts? Go figure. It's just good to know i'm not alone in this. Did you ended up loving or just accepting yourself? It's a matter of time isn't it? I should focus on the good stuff in my life and appreciate, not hate, the beautiful breasts i photograph, even though they're not mine. Baci
Dec 18 2007, 01:53 PM
modegirl, that is my fantasy! baby boobs, if just for a little while.
i'm with knorl on every issue here. i never wanted boobs that were 'fake' i always wanted them to be naturally bigger. i was never hoping for a DD, good god, no thank you. i just wanted to be a b-cup, just a b?! i am heavier on the bottom as well and i've always longed to be more balanced out. especially as i've gained more weight and my tummy has gotten bigger i've been a little less satisfied with my chest.
i dated a breast-man too, and you wonder how the two of you could have gotten together in the first place! he never said anything about my breasts, but all he had to do was say, 'i'm a breast-man,' once and the insecurity was there in my head.
my boyfriend now absolutely loves my breasts and can't get enough of them. he's obsessed.
vendetta, thanks for sharing your story. i think it is therapeutic to get it all out, especially in an environment like this one, where we've all had similar experiences. i second the advice that all the other busties have given you and i sincerely hope that you can come a positive place about your breasts. there are so many other things in this world that have value! on days when i'm feeling sad about my breasts, i try to find a different feature of my body that i actually like alot, for me it's my mouth, or my ass, or my arms. i think, wow, somewhere out there is a girl wishing she had fuller lips (like mine) or a cup-able ass (like mine). the grass will always be greener and believe it or not, somewhere out there in the world is a girl or woman who would be very envious of many of your features.
i have days where i love them and days where i don't love them so much, but i stopped hating them a long time ago.
i am glad knorl said something about the word 'flat-chested' however.
i HATE that term. i don't like 'no-boobs' either. if you had no boobs, there would literally be nothing at all on your, chest, no nipples, no nothin'. you have boobs, i have boobs, everyone in this thread has them! just because they don't cast an enormous shadow does not mean they do not exist. and we are NOT flat-chested. say it with me ladies!!
i would honestly like to ban those terms from this forum forever. all they do is reinforce the negative images we have of ourselves and each other.
sorry for the rant, i'm not trying to single vendetta out for using that kind of language, but i've heard it alot in here and i'm sure i'm said those things myself. i just want to move away from that.
hugs for all my small-breasted hotties!!!!
Dec 18 2007, 03:04 PM
I love this thread so much! Ok, so it hasnt stopped me thinking the things i think or feeling the way i feel but it's nice to know there are other people out there who understand rather than tell me I'm being silly or that my body's fine. I've always disliked the idea of plastic surgery yet since resigning to the fact that my boobs just aren't going to grow anymore I feel myself wanting a boob job more and more. It's impossible to go one single day without having huge breasts thrust in your face (not literally of course). Just as I start to feel Ok about my body and think it isn't that important I'll be told by society that it is. TV, radio, magazines, internet, conversations, men, shops, advertizements- the sources are endless. I think it's slightly different from women who aren't happy with their legs/stomach/bum etc. I have other parts of my body I'm not happy with but none affect me like this does. It makes me feel depressed, inadequate, self-conscious, embarassed- to name just a few things. I saw some classical art last weekend and it made a nice change that the women's bodies seemed far more 'normal' than the ones we're used to seeing today. Their breasts were't large or perfect, their stomachs were'nt concave and they had normal hips. Perhaps if the images we saw today were more like this then we wouldn't all be here
Dec 18 2007, 10:21 PM
Hi all! I feel a little stupid about this, but I'm glad I found someplace to talk about negative body image, especially regarding small boobs. Mine are small, and lately I've been really feeling like hell about it regardless of the fact that I KNOW that society's psychotic obsession with huge breasts is unrealistic and harmful to the female population. I'm tired of hating myself feeling either unattractive or invisible.
Dec 19 2007, 05:32 AM
You're right, we're not flat-chested! I'm Portuguese, there's not even a translation for that in my language, it's just because that term is all over the internet. I'm sorry for using that word and yes we do have breasts.
Dec 19 2007, 06:11 AM
I guess I've started a "rehab" lately. I've said all i needed to say to my boyfriend because i can't lie to him anymore and of course he noticed something's wrong. I kinda forced him to say he's sorry? I told him i couldn't forgive and forget unless he did that, and he did. I just reminded him some things he've said, even thought they were jokes. Like when he told me to take 5 boxes of that BC Pill when my breasts started growing. He said he didn't noticed how that kind of things could affect me because i was such a confident girl. He's right, i WAS. Drooling over something on someone else that i don't have myself... I think it's obvious that i would be affected. I guess he's just a man. He says he's nuts about my breasts and we did have a total cinema-drama moment that i regret so much like me crying my brains out while he was touching me. I was beging on my inside please love them, please touch them like if you loved them. People are weird huh? I believe him when he says he loves them but then i come to his computer and find this gorgeous huge-breasted girl masturbating on a video. And i know he'll never have such a hard on on me like i guess he has on that pair. And I keep this pervert fantasy that i would have him undressing my chest slowly while getting completely turned on. But he can't even take one breast out of the bra, cause the bra is bigger than the breast. And my breasts don't move, they're just stuck on my ribs. And even though i want him to touch them like a porn movie, i hate when he does. I hate when his hands are looking for them and i have to change position, put my arms together, stand up a little bit so that he can be able to grab something... But all i feel is him touching my bones. I feel unconfortable.
I went to this sex shop near work at my lunchtime for the 13th time. I'm trying to forget about all of this and buy something sexy to dress to him. For the 13th, i just can't. I get in there looking for something and all i see is huge breasted girls posing on the lingerie boxes and i do know that kind of lingerie is made specially to flatter what i don't have. And when i imagine myself wearing those things, i run out of the shop. He once offered me this corset, he asked for the smallest number possible in the shop and i hate to see myself on it. Even the "smallest number" doesn't fit me. My breasts just disappear into that and there's this huge amount of air on their place.
Once again, i just needed to speak out. Thank you for being there, Kisses
Dec 19 2007, 09:29 AM
welcome starship and phoenix! you are always more than welcome in this thread any time you need to vent, bitch, get some support or advice.
i felt like this thread was heaven-sent when i first found it. growing up, there was not a single girl around me who had breasts even remotely the same size as mine. everyone was at least two or three cups sizes bigger and i felt totally alienated. then i found BUST!! it is such an amazing, wonderful forum, it has literally changed my life. that being said, all three of you ladies should pop over into the 'newbies' thread and say hello. this is such a great forum to learn not only about body issues, but about sex, love, feminism, drugs, money, you name it!
starship- i totally understand what you're saying about it being a different sort of body part to be obsessed with. i think it's all relative in terms of the pain and insecurity we feel compared to women who think they are fat, or too skinny or whatever. but i DO think it's a totally different sort of body part because it is a)so overblown and overexposed in this society and b)often equated with femininity. we feel like we're lacking, as if we're not completely women. however, as an evolutionary biologist type-woman, i can say this: if large breasts were necessary or vital to our reproduction (and our level of attractiveness to men) then we would have been selected out 10,000 years ago. sure, in western countries, especially the united states, it may be the standard that is held, but there are plenty of cultures that either prefer smaller breasts or don't find breasts to be even remotely sexual. i think you posted a link to 007b.com, that is one of my favorite websites. my breasts are actually on there, though i couldn't tell you how to find me! tee-hee!
anyway, i think the breast insecurity is a bit more traumatic and problematic because it is something that cannot be fixed with diet and exercise, like other parts of our bodies. i think it goes both ways, if you go into the large breast support group thread you'll find women who are equally dissatisfied and uncomfortable for the exact opposite reason.
i love classical art for exactly those reasons, starship! the bodies actually look real, and there are plenty of a-cups represented!
vendetta- i feel your pain about having to reposition. in order to get much grab-action, i have to be on top or on my side. when i lay down, they just disappear! try getting on top next time the two of you are fooling around and use gravity to your advantage! sometimes guys don't realize when they are being insensitive jerks (i.e. the comment about taking five boxes of bc, sheesh!) but that isn't an excuse to let the behavior continue. i'm glad that you stood up for yourself and you also decided you had said your piece and it was time to move on. some of what you've said worries me a bit and i still agree with knorl that you might want to talk to some one (a professional, unbiased person) about your insecurity issues. i get the feeling that your breasts may only be the beginning and you've somehow channeled all your negativity into them. then again, you see yourself as confident and so does your boyfriend, so there must be that side of you. maybe you need to flush her back out again. like i said before, try and focus on the things about your body that you love.
also, about the porn. yeah, i understand how this can be frustrating too. it used to bother me, but now i've realized, for most normal, well-adjusted men, porn is just a fantasy. everyone daydreams, and i'm sure there are times you fantasize about being married to johnny depp and that he has an enormous dick and is obsessed with your breasts....maybe not that exact fantasy, but something similar. one of the inherent, inexorable qualities of a fantasy is that it's not real. at the end of the day, he's with you and he's not dating your chest, he's dating the entire package, from your cerebellum all the way down to your toes.
have you actually tried on a corset? i find they make my boobs like bigger because they get all smushed up. imagine keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean....just a thought.
i also wanted to clarify, that i was definitely not attacking you personally for using 'flat-chested.' i think i just had heard it enough times that it finally caused me to speak out. i love that there is no translation in portuguese! i wish i knew how to say anything in that language, let's see.....obrigada?! that's the best i can do!
stay strong ladies!
Dec 19 2007, 11:09 PM
Ladies I just want to say that I am so glad for this group and everyone's support, I don't know what we would do without it.
I haven't been on in a while and I'm glad to see there's so much activity!
Like quite a few people on here I too am having a crisis of faith
I've been single for a while (and haven't gotten any action) since I broke up with a long term bf a while ago and now I've met someone new and he's amazing (as far as I can tell lol!). We haven't slept together, but I think I love him and he loves me....if that's even possible before you've even had sex!?!
The problem is I am super anxious about taking my shirt off with him when it finally comes down to it. We both live with our parents and a friend who went out of town said we could stay at her place for the weekend which was awesome, except that the night before I had an anxiety attack because I was so godamn nervous about the whole ordeal, and I ended up making an excuse to cancel.
I have no idea why I am so anxious about this. My theory is it could be because I've never been in love before and didnt really care what previous partners thought, or the fact that I've seen his exes and lets just say they don't look like me. I think I've basically gotten the idea that he's a breast man, even though he has never said it outright.
Whatever the reason for it is, it's gotten to the point where I've decided I need to do something about my breasts so I can finally accept them. I'm not getting implants (NEVER!) but....I have decided to get my nipples pierced! I know it sounds crazy, but I've been thinking about it for a while and after my friend showed me hers and I've decided it's something I need to do. It's hard to explain why I think this will help, and I know to some people it's extreme but I've always been into body piercing and I make jewelry so it's almost a natural solution.
I guess I never considered going through with it before because I was embaressed of my small boobs and taking your shirt off so a stranger can do things to them seems like a nightmare. But by doing this in my mind it's almost like I'm accepting them, accessorizing them, and making them hard to ignore
Apparently it can increase sensitivity and it's like saying "maybe I don't have big boobs but you can still play with them, jeez!".
Anyway I think I'm going to go next week sometime, hopefully after I get x-mas money.
I just want to say though, that if I ended up with a breast man I don't think I could stay with him. I know it's probably good to give someone a chance, but I think my self esteem in regards to my breasts is too fragile to handle that, and I'd rather have my self esteem then have a guy who loves me but with exception :/ I guess I'll find out soon enough.....
Dec 20 2007, 03:49 AM
I feel you Miss when you say you can't handle a breastman. I know i would be happier now if i was single or with someone that didn't love breasts as much as he does. But i love him and deep down i know he just doesn't care. So go for it, if he loves you, he won't care. I know this is simply so easy to say but hard to deal with cause, as you said, we want to be loved for the whole package without exceptions. It just hurts as hell.
I've pierced my nipples a few years ago and yes, i love my piercings and my boyfriend too (to the point he once said, while in act, i don't know what is it about your breasts, i think it's the piercings. Ouch) so go for it. You'll look at your breasts in a totally different way.
I've come to the point where i can't decide wheather to wear my ultra-padded bras or go simple. Everytime i pick the padded bra i feel like crying and sometimes i do. When i go simple i feel so counscious about the (lack) of my breasts that it comes to the point where it's physically uncomfortable and in certain arm positions, feeling there's bone instead of a breast makes me nuts. And i can't decide wheather to let my boyfriend touch me and silently hate it because it's uncomfortable or to tell him that simply i don't want him to do it. I'm going nuts. Go figure. Kiss
Dec 20 2007, 04:02 AM
Bizmonkey, I'll teach you whatever you wish in Portuguese. Vem aprender comigo (come learn with me) ahah Kiss
Dec 20 2007, 10:20 AM
Is it legitimate that i still hate my boyfriend so much? I'm not being able to forgive him. Probably this is just a consequence of what's happened in my life for the past months but everything is begining to work fine now. And i know i wouldn't do this to myself, i never did. I've allways been pretty happy with myself, i wouldn't let me do this to myself. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate myself for letting it happen. I can't forgive him now. I can't see myself in the mirror without a shirt. I feel like crying everytime i'm getting dressed. I hate to have him touching me. I hate my padded bras and i hate the physical feeling of not having breasts and the emotional feeling of being unfeminine. Argh i'm 23 years old, what's wrong with me?? Thank you for being there, you know as well as i do that no one else wants to listen to this crap about breasts. Argh!
Dec 20 2007, 12:33 PM
Vendetta I'd say it's pretty legitimate for you to hate him. Maybe because that's how I would feel if I were in your situation, but I think you are justified in your feelings...especially after you've told him how the things he's said have affected you. I know how bad I would feel if the guy I'm with said things like that, because it's happened in the past to me too
I don't wanna say break up with him because it's clear that you love him, otherwise why would you stay? But you do deserve someone that loves all of you and that makes you happy about your body!
I hear you about the breast fondling too. While it feels amazing when someone touches them and plays with them, every time it happens I can't get the thought out of my head that they either are wishing there was more, or are just doing cuz they think you'll like and it's not for their pleasure.
I mean what's the longest everyone here had someone fondle their breasts? For me it's like a once over or maybe a minute of nipple play and that's it. I can't help but think that if they're bigger they'd get a whole lot more attention. And I do want the attention, because it feels so damn good, but I get so embarrassed asking for it (shouldn't have to!).....and I never get embarrassed about asking for anything else during sex!
P.S. Vendetta did you get vertical, horizontal or diagonal piercings? I can't decide!
Dec 20 2007, 04:10 PM
Damn it's so unfair! Sometimes he wouldn't even take my shirt off and if i did he wouldn't look at them. He would peak me up while i was taking my bath, take a look at my between-legs and butt and go away. What about my breasts?? Are they really that unexistant? Take five boxes of that BC pill. Get pregnant so they would grow. I love those breasts, don't you? I'm obsessed with boobs. Shakira is fine, she just doesn't have boobs. Look at Beyonce's curves, hmm. I don't know what is it with your breasts, maybe the piercings. You are beautifull, imagine if you had breasts. I never had a girl without breasts, i didn't feel attracted. It was weird to be with you for the first time. BLA BLA BLA. And guess what? His ex-girlfriend had breast implants! He was sorry that Jenna Jameson took off hers! And he wants me to be happy with "but i love you for who you are, i love your breasts, i want to live with you, i want to marry you, you're the one bla bla bla"?? I know it should be enough for but i think that kills any woman's self esteem as it killed mine! How could i let this happen? I hate him and now i have to see him everyday cause we're living together while i get my house done. Argh
Miss i did my piercings horizontally and i have rings. It didn't hurt me at all, my belly's piercing hurted more! After an hour of having them done it just stopped hurting for good and i could put on a bra. I guess everyone's different but the anxiety of having them done is worst that doing it at all. So relax, it's okay and you're going to love them. Not once in my life i regreted or felt uncomfortable for having them, it's just the same thing as not having. And they're damn sexy!! Good luck and look for a good body piercer, don't forget that! Kisses
Dec 20 2007, 06:25 PM
I love 007! I saw the comments on there left by other women and was so happy I wasnt alone but then quite dissapointed there was no way of communicating on the site..which is what led me here:)
I think men are just generally insensitive towards it without actually intending any harm. From my experience they try their best with the 'im a butt/leg guy' or 'small breasts are sexier' but personally I've never fully believed it. I find it hard to believe that any man isn't a breast man to some
. Plus I'm pretty sure that when a man thinks of 'small breasts' what he's actually picturing is around a C-cup(hardly small in my opinion). I've heard all the lines from my boyfriend about how he doesn't care about breasts yet if i wear one of those miracle bras (that can give even me a clevage) I always catch him looking when he wouldn't normally and I can tell he likes it. I've only just got past the stage of accepting my boobs wont get larger and now that all hope if pretty much gone I'm becoming more and more attracted to surgery. Part of me hates the idea that i would go through all that pain, upkeep and expense just to have breasts but the other part of me knows it would make me happier and more comfortable in myself. I'm kind of ashamed to be saying something so shallow. It's not for vanity or to get attention from men (as my boyfriend seemed to think)- it goes beyond just looking good in a top and genuinely effects how i feel. It's so hard to find anyone who understands this or even who I'd feel comfortable talking to about it. However ideally I'd love to be able to just accept myself for how I am so I wont be rushing into surgery anytime soon.
I hate my boyfriend going anywhere near my breasts in that way and start to feel really uncomfortable and tense up if i can tell his hands are heading there. It's actually more of a turn off- not because it feels bad but my mind tends to go into overdrive (what is he thinking, does he wish they were bigger, I'm so embarassed) and lets face it, too much thinking in those situations is never a good thing.
The nipple piercings sound a great idea. I was considering getting tattoed just above my breasts but I'm unsure if it'd make me more or less self-conscious about them. And I dont know if drawing more attention to the area would help.
I know it's probably meant to be a porn site for men so i hope it's still allowed, but I actually like this site because it has pictures of smaller chested women on too and they look equally as sexy as the busty women next to them (Click for breasts of all sizes )
Dec 21 2007, 05:06 AM
Hei starship, i feel you in every word you say. Before dating this guy i swear i've never thought of these kind of things. I knew i had small breasts but wasn't actually so self-conscious of that. And now i know i'll never be the same again and i know that if this relationship comes to an end and i find another person to be with, i am going to be allways a bit insecure about myself from now on.
I also caught my boyfriend looking at my "cleavage" when, while on the no longer effect of the BC Pill, i could actually have some while wearing those miracule bras. And it hurts now that i will never have him looking at me that way again, cause im back on my normal size and it's not possible to do that anymore. I also am attracted to surgery and i'm sure i would do it if i had the money. For me, myself, to feel good and womanly and confident and pretty and everything else. If i know that would make me a happier person, why not? I take care of my body, my face, my hair and i love to be looking my best and i know that makes me a happier person. So why not contemplating a surgery that i know it would make me a "feeling hotter" woman? That would make me enjoy sex even more? I've allways enjoyed sex, i've had my problems but i am a very sexual person. And part of that it's because i used to love myself and when you love yourself and when you love to look at yourself naked and having sex, sex is even better. While living my recent paranoia, sometimes i can't even reach orgasm. It sucks.
I lost my mind yesterday and had this huge fight with my boyfriend. I couldn't deal anymore with the fact that i'm going nuts lately and feeling so unhappy and thinking that this is just my fault. If i've allways been happy with myself for 23 years, why the hell am i feeling this way since i date him? Why was i the only person that thought that the things he said to me were hurtfull? I'm not crazy, i wouldn't start this paranoia from nowhere!! I reminded him again and even more of those things he said to me and told him honestly and shameless about everything i felt then, i feel now and explained him the hell i've been living in. He stopped for one moment, and told me i was right. That we didn't noticed how those things could hurt me then but understands that now. In my head, if this wasn't his fault (apart from the fact that i let this happen so it's my fault too), i was begining to think i'm an obsessed and sad person. But no, i am not, so this had to come from somewhere. I feel relieved. I'm never going to be the same person again and i'll need time to recover, but i'm feeling better. I think it's just the begining of a healing process. Kisses to you all
Dec 24 2007, 08:59 AM
whoa whoa whoa! i want to put the breaks on for just a second.
reality check: i don't think men are 'faking' it when they say that they are leg/butt men. i know for a fact, because i am dating one. he is an ass-man, and you can tell by my avatar, that is something the good lord blessed me with. however, my boyfriend loves my breasts, they are the first body part he ever pays attention to, compliments, he's even got nicknames for them. he's also not the only man who has ever loved them. in fact, at least three of my serious boyfriends have been obsessed with them above all other parts of my body.
that being said, i totally understand why it may appear that way to all of us. in the united states, and to a lesser extent, the western world in general, we are as a society, obsessed with breasts, the bigger the better. they are a key marketing tool for advertisers of an innumerable list of products. when all you see in practically every media image is women with large breasts, it can make you feel totally alienated and like a freak! but the fact of the matter is, we have had a lot of men come into this forum (albeit, kinda creepy at times) and praise us for the way that we look, saying they actually prefer small breasts. if you don't believe me, go back and read through the old pages.
BUT, why should our confidence and self-esteem be determined by whether some joe schlub on the street thinks we're sexy. i mean, COME ON ladies!!! we are smarter and more evolved than that! not only that, but would you really ever want to date joe schlub in the first place? i've lucked out and ended up with a lot of men that loved my small breasts. i also dated a breast man who made me feel like shit constantly.
it's a tricky situation vendetta, i honestly don't know what you should do about your boyfriend. but if you felt confident and sexy before the two of you started dating, well, then it's quite possible that these negative feelings first came from him. if that's the case, then maybe you aren't in the healthiest of relationships right now. that being said, you need to listen to your heart and do what you think will be best for your well-being in body and mind.
surgery is a huge committment and in my opinion, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. i would never judge some one harshly who got any kind of plastic surgery (which modern day society practically demands of women in order to stay attractive), but i would strongly advise anyone considering surgery to do extensive research on the longterm effects. and if you want to visit a website, got to siliconeholocaust.org to start with.
i feel your pain ladies, because i used to feel the exact same way. honestly, it wasn't until i was single and on my own that i came to peace with my body. having a boyfriend that appreciated my breasts was just an added plus. by the time he and i started dating, i already loved my breasts and having him love them too was the icing on the cake.
in the end, it is we, not society or the media or some insensitive jerk of a boyfriend that dictates how we feel about ourselves. it is SO difficult to fight against all of the pressure and the constant images we are bombarded with, but by supporting each other, staying strong, we can change peoples perception. even if it is just one person at a time.
good luck, vendetta, i'm trying to send positive vibes your way!!
Dec 24 2007, 01:25 PM
oh dont get me wrong, i know a lot of men are butt men but i always seem to get the 'bit of clevage wouldnt go a miss' vibe too. I'm from the UK and for some reason thought the US wasn't as obsessed- i think an american actor saying that he didnt understand our country's obsession with breasts gave me that impression. But obviously i was wrong. It's good to hear someone with a different outlook bizmonkey:). I'm only 19 so hoping with time I'll be thinking and feeling the same way as you. I don't want to feel i have to resort to surgery as i really hate all it stands for. Also the more people that do have surgery, the more people there will be left feeling like i do. I'd hate to think how any children of mine would feel if they were small too and knew i had fake boobs :/. My boyfriend isnt causing me problems and I don't care what other men think of me so for me personally i think it's just a self-confidence and acceptance issue. but im working on it...
Vendetta, i obviously don't know the full story, but surely any guy who makes you feel this way is not someone who you should be with. I'm sure if you found someone more sensitive and understanding who appreciates every part of you then you'd soon be back to the confident person you once was. Again I don't know if it applies in your situation but there are some men who are so insecure themselves that they deliberatly eat away at your confidence by playing on your insecurities. Either way it sounds like deep down you know what you have to do so good luck:)
Dec 24 2007, 02:00 PM
I would just like to second the assertion that there are many true ass-men in the world.
Crinoboy is all about the butt. He loves my breasts, but he absolutely worships my ass. I have small breasts (32 A) and he constantly tells me that they're "perfect". It's funny, but my Dad is the same way with my Mom (from whom I inherited my bootylicious build). I've actually heard him say "more than a mouthful is wasted", which I thought was hysterical because they are both 50.
Anyway, there is no reason to put up with a boob obsessed jerk when there are so many men out there who are willing to love you exactly as you are.
starship - Whenever I think about breast implants (in my darkest hour) I think about how my children would feel if they look like me. I would be sending them a message that I could not love myself as I was, so how could I love them? I want my children to feel beautiful and comfortable in their own skin.
Dec 26 2007, 03:48 AM
I just broke up with my boyfriend. I've found these messages on Saturday he had sent to some girls on the Internet in October saying oh you're so beautiful, have you got MSN or i'm going to Brazil on 14th, would you like to meet? That was the end of it for me. I grabbed all of my stuff and put it in the car to leave. He cried and begged for an oportunity and wouldn't let me leave the house. I left. We were going to celebrate a year yesterday. I deserve much better. Now i've got a messy house and life to deal with. I don't even know where my toothbrush is, as all my life is in plastic bags and boxes. All of this is happening at a time when i'm moving and i was living with him for a couple of months while putting my life together. Now it has gotten even worse. It doesn't matter, in the end i'll be fine. Better days will come. Thank you for your good vibes, Kisses
Dec 26 2007, 04:46 PM
QUOTE(crinoline @ Dec 24 2007, 02:17 PM)
Anyway, there is no reason to put up with a boob obsessed jerk when there are so many men out there who are willing to love you exactly as you are.
well said crinoline!
(((vendetta))) well, we've got break-up and moving on forums here on bust if you need to let it all out. but in the end, you will be happier with some one who loves all of you, not just some of you.
Dec 26 2007, 06:42 PM
I can't thank you enough!
Dec 26 2007, 08:01 PM
wow missEnderes. I'm so glad you didn't get bullied into the surgery by that neanderthal prick. He also saved you from wasting a lot of time because someone who can't look past your boobs clearly doesnt love you the way you deserve and just isnt worth it. and dont worry, there will be plenty more men- ones with multiple braincells. Well done for staying strong and I hope you get back on track soon
. Let's face it, the only way is up after a jerk like that x
Crinoline- I think I was having a bit of a 'dark hour' myself. I can't imagine things ever getting so bad that I actually pay to get plastic stuffed into my chest. So long as I avoid men like the ones missEnderes and Vendetta have been unlucky enough to come across.
Dec 26 2007, 08:24 PM
Hello Ladies. I am very new to this kind of thing so please bear with me. And yes, I am a guy but please don't fear me. I have chosen a life of that doesn't include sexual activity and certainly doesn't include homosexual activity. I discovered this topic while searching for a program title for BBC AMERICA. After reading the topic and replies, I felt compelled to reply from a guys point of view.
I have always been partial to small-breasted women. I tend to find large breast ugly and un-attractive. Most men claim to prefer the large breast until they are alone with their friends. I can't begin to tell you how many of my buddies have stated the same opinion that I have.
In short (or is it too late for that) smal breast are more natural looking and far more attractive. If I may be so bold to say, they feel better to the guy. A small, firm breast can be a lot more intrigueing and exciting to a man than a large, swollen, bag of flesh.
Please forgive me if this response has offended you in any way. If it has, contact me and I will refrain from furthure comment.
Dec 28 2007, 07:45 AM
that was sweet porfalo, thank you for your input. now dont go pm'ing any of us telling us just how much you enjoy smaller breasts, because we've all heard it before from random dude who happens upon the bust lounge and thinks this is a good place to meet women.
vendetta: i'm glad for your well being that you've dumped that guy. doesnt sound like he was much of a catch... breast size preference aside. you're so much better off...and i'm sure you'll fare well with these new changes because i believe you'll make it work. it sounds like you're a strong woman and this last relationship really took a toll on your self-esteem, but i think once you distance yourself from him and get back to you, you'll be grateful to be rid of him and even more determined to make it on your own.
missenderes: i would have to beat a dude up if he were to withhold
sex from me for any reason. 'thanks, it's good, but it's not that good. if you'd kindly fuck off, that'd be great.' ignorant men piss me off. well, ignorant people for that matter, but especially when women tolerate it in a relationship. makes me angry... like i want to tell their man off for them. a lot of my girls bfs through the years havent liked me for just such reason. but oh well. i'm glad you're rid of him too.
re: the tits vs ass convo. i had a guy friend tell me years ago that he's noticed women with naturally larger breasts, usually arent as blessed with ass, and women who are blessed with ass, naturally have proportionately smaller breasts. minus all the fake titties in the world, you'll notice it's really true. i've just determined, we all have different body types and breast size does not automatically make a woman attractive or not. humane men, intelligent men, value a woman person, not just her breasts or ass. they look to overall appeal, including attitude and intelligence.
Jan 1 2008, 02:03 PM
OMG ladies, I've been busy this past month and haven't been online. I missed a LOT! What great posts--it has taken me an hour just to read them all!
Welcome, all new ladies here. GREAT to see this board active and thriving!
Hugs & love!