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KeraBear
QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 4 2011, 12:33 PM) *
LOL, I can always count on the "members" of this forum for "penetrating" insights. wink.gif


QUOTE(karategrrl @ Oct 4 2011, 09:41 AM) *
Getting cocky, huh? wink.gif


LMAO!! laugh.gif It makes me happy knowing that i am not the only twisted bustie on here. smile.gif
buttercups
Hey ladies,

I've missed you all, coming back to check-in, though I never really left I've just been lurking because I'm working crazy hours at my new job and barely have time to breathe lately. In any event, I'm going to try to be more present here because I seriously think this place is essential to my mental health. Since I've stopped really participating here and working all the time, my self-esteem about the lack of fat on my chest has just gotten worse. When I was talking to you guys regularly I actually started to accept myself more, and now that I'm downhill again I'm ready to get back on the bandwagon and start feeling better about myself. I've since moved in with my boyfriend too, first time we've ever lived together or that I've ever lived with a boyfriend, so I feel even more pressure lately to look better. At least when we weren't living together I was more able to hide my true self, but now it's even harder.

DeeRayy I hope you're feeling better today. I know the disappointment when you think there is something wrong with you that can be fixed and then find out that there's nothing wrong so nothing can be fixed. I have felt that exact same way, like I want something to be wrong with me so I can just take a pill or something and then look like everybody else. I love strongirl's ideas about focusing on your health though, that will really make you feel so much better about yourself. I know that when I had more time to work-out and take care of myself I felt better about my body on the whole, even my breasts. Just getting exercise and eating well can do wonders.

On the casual sex topic, interestingly enough my small breasts were what kept me from having casual sex. I was so self-conscious about myself that in college I never wanted anyone to see me naked, so while all my friends were going out hooking up with random guys I was in a long-term (and unhealthy) relationship because I couldn't expose my body to anyone. There were guys that showed interest in me but even if I liked them back I was terrified that they would find out how flat I was and tell the whole school. I stayed in that awful long-term relationship for my entire college experience pretty much and never ventured out of my comfort zone with any other guys. Not that I'm encouraging casual sex or anything, and everyone should do what's most comfortable for them of course, but that is one regret that I have from college. I wish I had the guts to go out and date other guys instead of being terrified about what they would say about my breasts. DeeRayy I applaud you for doing what made you the most comfortable and going with your gut on this one, I know what bad self-esteem can do to your head and you really fought through it.
karategrrl
buttercups, welcome back!!! <<<hugs>>>

because I seriously think this place is essential to my mental health. Since I've stopped really participating here and working all the time, my self-esteem about the lack of fat on my chest has just gotten worse

I can tell you that it is also great for my mental health. I think of you ladies all the time and inteestingly enough, my thoughts of you rarely have anything to do with breast size--more, it's some thought-provoking or hysterically funny thing someone has said.

"...lack of fat on my chest..."

Interesting, isn't it? That's mostly what breasts are, yet all this shit about size and how we put ourselves through the ringer over it. Lately I am feeling less satisfied than usual about my chest. I'm just annoyed; I'd like to wear a B cup--nothing big--but enough to be able to buy a fucking nice bra, damn it, and cup them in my hands and feel something cup-able! Not asking for the fucking world, you know.... then I remind myself of how silly it all is--why we attach so much to the size of fat mounds on our chests. No easy answer!


BTW, I came across this documentary today and thought of you all. Watched the preview and was amazed at how it touched on what we've discussed here so often--how media makes us feel inferior so we SPEND MONEY on "correcting" ourselves. And in the preview to either this one or version 2, they panned the audience and it was annoying how it was, like, 99.999999% women. Men need to see this shit, not women. We already know.
secretsights88
Focusing on health is a great idea. I'm not really keen on working out, but when I get into it, I start feeling great about myself inside and out. It's not even about losing weight or toning up, it's this general feeling of being pretty. Maybe it's psychological, but I feel I look less tired, like I have clearer skin and a brighter smile. I don't know. I also feel more energized and knowing that what I'm doing is good for my body just gives me a general feel good vibe, which just makes me feel that much better about the way I look. And feeling stronger, and more capable of doing physical things, just gives me a lot more confidence. I also tend to focus more on improving my fitness level rather than focusing on my physical "flaws".
strongirl
Secretsights, ABSOLUTELY you should go with that. I LOVED everything you said in that post. The things you listed are authentic, not artificially manipulated - you have more confidence because you have earned it by loving and caring for your physical body from within, rather than worrying about what your exterior looks like to others and trying to get it to measure up to some arbitrary standard. This is real beauty...when beauty is not the goal. Rock that clear skin, bright smile, shining eyes, strong body, radiant glow, Secretsights!

Karategrrl, sorry to hear you are feeling less satisfied but you do sound pretty philosophical about it - it doesn't sound like your torturing yourself over it, which is good. I was thinking of sharing this anyway but your post is a good lead-in. Due to some perimenopausal hormonal fluctuations, I am currently sporting large B/small C cup size breasts. And ya know what? It just doesn't really affect anything at all in my life. I don't feel more feminine...I felt feminine anyway. I don't feel more attractive...I felt attractive anyway. My bf was actually avoiding them - I think he was concerned they'd be sore and sensitive. So far from not being able to keep his hands off them, he seems a bit put off by them. No one else even notices. I do sort of get a kick out of cupping them in the shower, like you said, Karategrrl but it's not like it makes my day. It's just not that big a deal. And maybe if I'd been miserable about them being small I would be happier about them being bigger. But I wasn't miserable before and I'm not thrilled now. I think this illustrates what we've said in here before: that good health and our own feelings about our bodies is what matters, that we can totally blow the importance of breast size way out of proportion, and that in reality, it just doesn't matter that much.

My perspective, for what it's worth.



karategrrl
Thanks, strongirl, for your thoughts. That does help. Ha, when my mother started going through menopause she suddenly got big breasts and hated it--in the summer, especially, she complained of the "skin on skin" sweatiness under them. So honestly there has been a part of me that secretly has been curious about going through menopause, in the hopes that I'd finally get some boobies.

Then again, she gained weight everywhere so honestly, I don't know how much of the increase in breast size was due to hormones, and what was due to the weight gain (which I think was also due to hormones). I'm much more active and stress-free than she was, so I hope that will keep me healthy and at a weight that feels right to me.
KeraBear
Strongirl, I was about to say congratulations... but now I guess not so much?? Funny... when i first got here, I was all "I want bigger breasts! I neeeeeeed them!!" But now it's deeper than that. Now I strive to see the beauty in my booblets and myself both inside and out. Don't get me wrong though, I still think it would be nice to have bigger boobs!! And I still have a good number of "bad boobie days" where i just feel like crying, but being here has certainly helped my perspective.

I didn't know that sorta thing happened at menopause. Interesting. You get your period and then grow boobs (that's how it worked for me anyways). You stop getting your period and then grow boobs. hmm...

What has been the biggest adjustment to having your new pair? I always thought that if I suddenly grew boobs overnight, I would knock things over with them, like the salt shaker at the dinner table or something, because I forget they were there. LOL. But it doesn't sound like they are THAT much bigger though, ha ha. What do you mean by your bf cannot keep his hands off from them, but yet is put off by them? Don't those contradict each other? Or was i just reading that wrong?
strongirl
Hi Kera - you were reading it wrong, or I didn't articulate it very well. He definitely CAN keep his hands off them - he doesn't seem to like them as well as my normal small boobs or he's worried they are sore or something. We haven't really had a conversation about it, too much other life stuff going on. But yeah, no love for my bigger boobs from the bf, which is OK for a short time but if it keeps up we'll need to talk. Cuz big or small, my girls need love and affection!

There really hasn't been much "adjustment", Kera - it just doesn't affect very much in my life. As for knocking things off the table...is that why they call them "knockers", LOL?

Yeah, the menopause thing, sigh. I remember years ago when I was joking with a couple of my older friends about getting a boob job, they said "Don't do it! First of all it will make you look matronly. Second, you're probably going to get stuck with bigger ones anyway when all that estrogen dominance stuff hits you." Or something like that. I thought "Terrific! Bring it on!" Now, not so much.

I've gained a few pounds in the past 6 months but so far holding my own with healthy eating and exercise. The thyroid imbalance didn't help any. But the boob increase isn't just weight gain, it's hormones. My breasts have always varied a lot in response to my monthly cycle. Only now it's not a reliable monthly cycle, so when I skip they just keep getting bigger. I doubt this size is a permanent thing, mostly likely they'll go back down again when I have another period, assuming I do. I sorta hope they do go back down to my normal 34A but it's not a huge deal to me either way.

And Karategrrl, yes, the skin on skin thing....eeecckhh, gives me the heebie jeebies! Happily I still pass the pencil test - they are oddly perky so far. Crossing my fingers...if I get that "flap" effect, I might be the first B cup woman to get a breast reduction, LOL!



karategrrl
QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 12 2011, 04:46 PM) *
As for knocking things off the table...is that why they call them "knockers", LOL?

...

Crossing my fingers...if I get that "flap" effect, I might be the first B cup woman to get a breast reduction, LOL!

LOL!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
skindeep1991
Heya ladies, I know it's been a while but recently I've been having a rough time, its not really boobie related but I needed someone to talk to.
I was sort of starting feeling comfortable with myself but a couple of things have spun me in the opposite direction. I stumbled across one of those pro anorexia websites and out of curiosity I took a look, I used to have an ED back in high school and I've been doing quite well up until this point. so anyway I was feeling okish about my weight but after looking at the website and all the tips I started thinking differently, about my thighs and stomach and my neck... I feel like I could do with losing quite a bit of weight in all honesty, I'm a size 10-12 UK sizes which is an 8 - 10 in American sizes. And I used to be a lot slimmer and it's really started getting to me. I've cut down my meals considerably and I'd started just eating salads, fruit and fish. Which isn't a bad thing. But I felt like the result is taking a long time...So it's been getting me down. I told my partner that I was feeling down about it and he said for me to just go to the gym, which wasn't very helpful (he's not good with these kind of things).
So anyway last night I stumbled across my ex's Facebook and saw that he had a new girlfriend and I realize that this is a big no no but I couldn't help but snoop on her Facebook to see what she was like...and turns out she's an actual friggen model. Who is a lot slimmer and prettier than myself. I don't really know what to do but that made me feel even worse, I don't know why because I have no feelings for him anymore I just don't want to be seen as the 'ugly fat ex girlfriend'...So I've fallen back into a bit of a rut, I've started purging which is awful and I'm really ashamed of myself for doing this. I really hate myself when I'm like this. I'm not a pleasant person to be around at the moment and I'm scared of pushing the people I love away but I'm also willing to do anything to loose the weight. I know it's wrong and I don't recommend it for anyone and It makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm the first person trying to talk people out of the stupidity....I just really don't know what to do.

I'm really sorry for the long message guys and I hope you don't judge me too harshly for this =[
secretsights88
skindeep1991, your message was very touching. Please, don't feel stupid. Personally, I've never dealt with an ED, but I've dealt with very poor body image and I still struggle sometimes. I really wish I could help you more, but I just wanted to tell you not to feel stupid, or like a hypocrite. Trying to talk people out of this doesn't make you a hypocrite, far from it, it means you care about others and that you don't wish them the same you've struggled with. I know how hard it can be to compare yourself to an ex's new gf, and sometimes it's something that we just can't help. I'm sure that all lovely busties will support you, if you feel down and need to talk about it, no one will judge you here. I'm sure we all just want you to be happy and to feel great, and this is why we support each other.

Hugs!!! smile.gif
DeeRayy
QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Oct 19 2011, 09:31 AM) *
So I've fallen back into a bit of a rut, I've started purging which is awful and I'm really ashamed of myself for doing this. I really hate myself when I'm like this. I'm not a pleasant person to be around at the moment and I'm scared of pushing the people I love away but I'm also willing to do anything to loose the weight. I know it's wrong and I don't recommend it for anyone and It makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm the first person trying to talk people out of the stupidity....I just really don't know what to do.


i'm very sorry to hear about your struggles, skindeep. i dealt with weight issues this summer because of medical reasons and it really does suck. all i can say is that patience is your best friend right now. i can not even begin to tell you how difficult it was for me to lose the initial five pounds during my weight loss journey this summer. but what really helped me was the fact that i was losing weight not just for aesthetic reasons, but for my health as well. it can be very frustrating when you've been dieting like crazy the whole week only to find out that you've lost little over one pound. but if you want to permanently lose weight, it must be at a slow, controlled pace. i really do recommend that you focus more on exercise than on extreme dieting. it's good for both your physical and mental health. believe me, i was once in a similar position just four months ago, and now i'm twenty pounds lighter than i was as a college freshman. i still have a bit more to lose and i still have my days where i feel dumpy and pudgy, but you have to be patient with these things. you can't just expect your body to change overnight. it takes hard work and time.

strongirl
Skindeep, no judgment here - I have walked a mile in your shoes. I struggled greatly with an eating disorder when I was in college, which could easily have killed me if I'd persisted in the binge/purge behaviors for more years. Apologies to those of you who have read this before, sorry to be repetitive, but I strongly urge you, Skindeep, I implore you, I beg you, I INSIST! you get a copy of Susie Orbach's "Fat is a Feminist Issue" IMMEDIATELY. Read it, do the exercises (mental exercises, not physical), then re-read it, over and over, do the exercises more...and I am very confident that you will get over your eating disorder, be healthier, be happier, and (as a side effect) look better. I am not kidding when I say I believe this book saved my life.

The thing is, the social and psychological influences that cause women to have eating disorders are incredibly strong and very pervasive. We can tell ourselves and our friends to cheer up, work out, eat right - but for a person really struggling with this stuff, as I did, that's just not enough. You need something as strong as the negative influences are. For me, Orbach's book was it - the insight to understand why I was behaving that way, the compassion to help me not feel like an idiot for it, and the practical, powerful exercises to reinforce my own strength to change and get healthy, mentally and physically.

Do it now and spare yourself years of self-inflicted torture. I'm glad I did and I wish the same relief for you, dear Skindeep.
DeeRayy
on another note, i had a very frustrating experience last friday night concerning my booblets. i've already told you all about how i was struggling with the idea of casual sex. well, i ended up messing around with the guy that has been pursuing me. we didn't actually have sex, not even oral. but we did fool around quite a bit.

anyways, this is significant because it was the first remotely sexual encounter that i've had with a guy since my last relationship. considering that last statement, it went rather well. however, i noticed that i no longer enjoy breast play. every time the guy's hand tried to go over one of my boobs i would panic and redirect his hand elsewhere. and then when he took one of my nipples into his mouth i was so overcome with anxiety that i didn't really feel any physical pleasure from it. this is very upsetting for me, because i used to love breast/nipple play and now i feel basically numb to it. it's like i'm being turned off by my own breasts. has anyone here ever encountered anything like this?
karategrrl
First of all, let me say how amazed at am at this little corner of Cyberspace, and you ladies. Skindeep and DeeRayy (and everyone), you are all so amazing and strong. We're not all perfect and free of issues, and none of us will ever be. But guys have the courage to pour your hearts out here and ask for help and insight. That alone is an incredible strength--to reflect on what you're feeling, put it into words, and put it out there, even in an insulated forum such as this where we're basically as anonymous as we choose to be. Wow. I am strengthened by you ladies every day. But I digress.

Skindeep, I've never struggled with an ED so I think strongirl is most qualified to offer help, but one thing I know I have to share from my own experience is the tendency to go down those little mental roads you kinda know you shoudln't---like an accident at the side of the road...I shoudln't look...I loooked! Oh God, I wish I hadn't looked... wink.gif I, too, have had those challenges big-time--checking out the exes on FB, etc. It has taken me a looong time and I DO still backslide a bit but overall I find that I've identified the road signs, if you will, of my own little personal "roads to misery" and find that I'm much better off if I dont' go down them to begin with. For example, I find that for some reason I'm more prone to worry and anxious thought during the night/early morning. So I think to myself, "Ok, I really need to sleep now, so I'll worry about this during the day." And then in daylight I say, "Why was I so bent out of shape over that??" I dont' know if this example really applies to you but what stuck out at me was the MENTAL process that brought you to this recent feeling shitty/purging episode. You know the pro-anorexia site and FB didn't do you any good. Maybe it would help to identify some "alternate routes," if you will, when you get the urge to do those things? Sounds like you really did try an "alternate route" by talking to your partner, but unfortunately that did not help in this instance. Maybe a girlfriend could offer a better perspective? Force yourself out to take a walk or meditate or something? Youknow what's best, not me. I AM very sorry you've in a shit place right now, and I hope I've offred a shred of something that might help. <<hug.>>

Oh, and please keep in mind: I used to model too and believe you me, they're not all that! I've been in dressing rooms half-naked with models male and female and everyone has fricking cellulite and moles and stuff, and half of them are so wrapped up in appearancs they are fucking stunted in personal development that to try and carry on a conversation with any of them is like trying to converse with a shoe. No, not all of them, but I've seen it 8 days a week. <yawn.>


DeeRayy, yes, that has happened to me. When I feel down about my boobies or I'm mad at hubby, I can't enjoy breast play, or even sex much. I bet this guy thought your nips were hot if he took one of them into his mouth. smile.gif He may be feeling anxious about some part of his body, too, you never know. Give yourself some time and self-love, and don't do anything that you're not really into. It's YOUR bod, girlfriend.
haibin
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karategrrl
The site's baaaaack! smile.gif))))))
KeraBear
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Nov 8 2011, 07:58 AM) *
The site's baaaaack! smile.gif))))))


YAY! happy.gif

I HATE it when that happens though. It seems like EVERY time we start getting some positive booby momentum, it gets squashed! sad.gif
anarch
QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Oct 19 2011, 09:31 AM) *
I hope you don't judge me too harshly for this =[


(((skindeep)))

Haven't been around much lately but I want to give you supportive hugs.

How are things for you now?
skindeep1991
WOOT welcome back all!

QUOTE(anarch @ Nov 12 2011, 08:02 AM) *
(((skindeep)))

Haven't been around much lately but I want to give you supportive hugs.

How are things for you now?


I'm doing a little better I think I've stopped starving myself and purging for a couple of weeks but I've found that I don't want to leave the house at all really and I quit my jobs months ago and i haven't gone back to pick up important forms yet just because I'm terrified of people thinking that I've gained weight.
I pretty much feel fat all the time but I haven't really spoken about this for a while, I guess I'm just pretending like everything is ok =/

Thank you so much for the support though ladies, I really appreciate it especially seeing as it's not little boobie related issue.



anarch
Well, I'm glad you're sharing about it here, skindeep.

People are often too worried about their own looks to notice other people's. The few who do put down others' looks (silently or verbally, doesn't matter) can go fuck themselves. Like FUUUUUCCCKKKK YOOOUUUU!


On topic: I thought this ask metafilter thread posted by a small-breasted woman about looking sexier (without the predictable miniskirt + heels) had some good advice.
Anne_Ecdote
Kathy Griffin and her lovely little boobies.
skindeep1991
Stronggirl, I've bought that book =D I'm waiting for it to be posted should be here next week, I'm looking forward to it tbh. I finally decided I need to do something about my situation.

Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?

Not always but my partner plays with them for about 2 seconds compared to everything else. Especially if I'm on the bottom (tmi i know) but they tend to look a lot flatter when I'm lying down. When I'm on top they get a little more attention but generally not much, it's just guys make such a big deal about breasts and my partner says that he finds small ones really attractive when I mention my insecurities.
But when it comes to complimenting my appearance (which i generally have to fish for) they are NEVER mentioned...EVER....he'll say that he loves my bum and my back etc...but he never mentions my boobies, which makes me think that he just says he likes them so I don't feel bad. Especially the lack of interest in them during play times.
I don't know if any of you ladies experience this but it's just got me thinking...

DeeRayy
QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Nov 15 2011, 03:01 PM) *
Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?


skindeep, i actually make sure my booblets are ignored. i absolutely refuse to take my bra off during sexytime. i just feel more comfortable with it on. my current sexual partner seems to be an ass man, much to my relief. he occasionally tries to maneuver his hand or mouth towards them but when that does happen i direct his attention elsewhere. any attention paid to my boobs only reminds me how insecure i am about them, and that just kills the mood for me.

my last partner didn't grope them much but he liked to play with my nipples in his mouth a lot. i know what you're feeling though. i just never got the sense that he was really enjoying them. i don't have much advice to give on this one because it's something i still struggle with, and right now i'm dealing with it by just keeping them hidden away under my bra.
skindeep1991
QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Nov 18 2011, 07:25 AM) *
i don't have much advice to give on this one because it's something i still struggle with, and right now i'm dealing with it by just keeping them hidden away under my bra.


It's sad to hear that you're that uncomfortable with showing your breasts during intimate moments. I don't hide mine from partners because I have the frame of mind that if you love me you love ALL of me. I hope you don't hide them away forever you're a wonderful girl and sex is about being vulnerable with someone else. He probably has his insecurities too. I hope you learn to love those gorgeous boobies. I find if you say it enough to people about how awesome your boobies are you'll start believing it too x
karategrrl
QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Nov 15 2011, 10:01 PM) *
Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?

Overall, no, they're not ignored. If anything, sometimes I want him to ignore them because they're too sensitive at that particular time and I need more foreplay. He often doens't "get" that there needs to be a little more workup than instant nipple sucking; I'd like for him to work his way around the entire booblet first. He's done that a time or two and I let him know that was GOOOD. Funny you ask--today, laying in bed after sex he kept on playing with one of them. smile.gif

But I will also say that he never compliments them either--or any particular body part--so you're actually making out better than I am in that regard. He says I'm hot, and says it fairly often, but the closest I'll get to a compliment on a specific body part is when I complain about my "fat" ass wink.gif and he says he likes it just fine. (A bit of an ongoing joke...I complain about my fat butt, he complains about his fat gut.)

Reading about neglected nipps and booblets makes me sad. Sending much LOOOOOVE for all the sweet, beautiful booblets feeling neglected today. <3
karategrrl
PS: Anarch, about that link to "looking sexier," I adored this man's comment and I had to share it with you all. The woman who was looking for advice on how to look better mentioned that she had short hair and a small chest. Response:

"By the way - You sound like someone I would find incredibly attractive. Short hair and flattish chests are totally hot, just so you know! To me, the taut, cropped elegance is far sexier than the heavy pendulous oozing type of sexual power..."
And the rest of the comments are so diverse that it totally goes to show that whatever you got, someone will like it. smile.gif
KeraBear
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I am thankfull for each and every one of you who have helped me adjust to life as a small breasted teenager over the past few years. You are all awesomesauce! smile.gif Now if we can just get me through college...

btw, so sorry about not posting as much as i used to. I've been so very busy with classes and work. I'll try to get in more often! Love you all!!!
skindeep1991
Happy thanksgiving ladies I hope you enjoyed it for those of you that celebrate. Kera I missed you dude! =D hope college is well.

MY COPY OF FAT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE ARRIVED TODAY!! I'm so excited to read it =D
vibrator
Love your bodies, its the only one you have, natural breast are the best kind to have. We are more than
just our chest. Sexy is sexy small chest or no. To much focus on breast these days. Just love your body.
kikyochan
Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?
wondermist
QUOTE(kikyochan @ Nov 27 2011, 11:03 AM) *
Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?


How I came about accepting my breasts was reading this forum, but the best method for me was/is to focus on my own life and hobbies. smile.gif It was a great distraction that really elevated how I felt. There are times when I feel so sad about their size that I get the urge to throw myself deeper into the hole by doing things I knew would make me feel worse. I really had to fight my brooding angst by throwing myself into doing something more productive. Well, maybe this "ignoring" method isn't too efficient... but after focusing some time on myself and me, whatever makes me happy, I realize that my worries are not that serious when I take a step back and smell the roses.

Also, and I say this with a great disclaimer, bodies don't tend to finish growing until 21 or so (from my terrible memory of some scientific article thingamajigger). 13 is a very very very very very young age! Even if everybody's body is unique to their own, individual, bodies change all the time during the course of our life as well, be it by birth control pills, pregnancy, or menopause tongue.gif
skindeep1991
QUOTE(kikyochan @ Nov 27 2011, 07:03 PM) *
Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?


Heya hun 13 is too young to say you've stopped growing, You're a gorgeous young lady and you have plenty of time for them to grow and if they don't grow anymore you shouldn't feel bad about them. Small breasts are sexy, Just own those babies.

on another note guys... I've been reading fat is a feminist issue, There was this exercise to do which was standing in front of the mirror ( I chose to do it naked )and just looking at yourself and not judging ( a lot easier said than done ) and it made me see how I am a lot bigger than I thought I was and its the first time my reflection has reduced me to tears. I don't know if it is a good thing or not but I feel like crap....
discowombat
QUOTE(wondermist @ Nov 27 2011, 08:26 PM) *
Also, and I say this with a great disclaimer, bodies don't tend to finish growing until 21 or so


I gotta agree. I had AA cups from the time I was 14 until I was 20 and then they suddenly got quite swollen and sore for about a week. When they stopped being sore I had gone up a cup size, and they stayed that way. I know an A cup still isn't a lot but I was thrilled! The odd thing is that I wasn't on birth control and I hadn't gained any weight. I was a late bloomer, so I guess my body finally decided to finish the job when I was nearly 21. Even being an early bloomer I doubt you are completely done yet and remember there are many girls out there that would kill to have small C cups!
KeraBear
Hi kikyochan!

Hey, wow, i actually think your complaint is common about like 90 percent of 13-year-olds. LOL  Well, except for the other 10 percent that have big breasts in which case they are probably jealous of YOU. While i was complaining about my booblets when i was 13, i had friends who were mortified about their C cups. i think at that age nobody really likes their bodies period. But i would like to echo the thoughts of my friends here in that you are probably not done growing yet.  I was also a AA cup till late high school and i had pretty much given up hope.  But then i went up to an A cup, and yeah, like Doscowombat was saying - Not much, but i was still pretty thrilled! ha ha

i guess my best advice to you is to read over this forum, and go backwards because there is a looooooot of good stuff here over the months... and years, depending on how much time you want to devote to the archives ha ha.  in the meantime, work on the self boobie love. smile.gif

Skindeep... hang in there, girl. You're beautiful. Anybody who says otherwise obviously doesn't know you very well and clearly lacks credibility on such matters.

kikyochan
Thank you every one so much for all your replies! They were very funny, witty and helpful. You guys are a great group of gals.
_Vendetta
Hello girls, some of you may remember me. Just wanted to share my photography portfolio with you since I was a serious "poster" on this forum years ago.

I don't post here anymore but I still feel the same as I did then (I don't think about it that often but I still wish I was different on that department) and whenever I think about it I drag my camera out with me. It has been like therapy.

Best wishes

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4298369/mariarita_portfolio_web.pdf
strongirl
Oh Vendetta, your work is AMAZING!!!! You are extremely talented and I really enjoyed looking through your portfolio! The first shot with the single eye is incredible. I loved the one of the slide! (you have such a strong vision to see that perspective...I just wanted to slide down it!) Very impressive. Thanks so much for sharing!

Dear Skindeep, how I wish we could go on a walk together, listen and talk, and I would give you a huge hug! I'm sorry you were reduced to tears. Please please keep trying. Follow the instructions very closely when you do the exercises - it is about seeing yourself through different eyes, without the harsh judgmental filters that we've all been taught to put between us and our beautiful bodies. I remember when I first started doing the exercises and it said to find a part of myself that I liked and focus on that, the only thing I could see without feeling self-loathing was my eyes. And when I looked myself in the eye, it made me cry too. But as I kept doing it, I started feeling the filters drop...and I started liking what I saw, not all at once but in bits and pieces. Please be gentle with yourself, friend, and give it time.

On the topic of distorted body image, I came upon this yesterday:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-whe..._b_1118627.html

Click on the link that says "not very often". It's a much more substantial article and wow, eye opening.

P.S. I may not post much in the immediate future, I'll be traveling in Hawaii and no internet. smile.gif
wondermist
I hope things perk up for you, Skindeep. Doing that exercise seems very frightening to me, but I'll try working towards it. You're very strong, seeing as I can't even bring myself to do it yet. I feel like we're very privileged that you are able to tell us this.

Strongirl's article was very wonderful. I think the tips are really great! I've never really thought about body image in this way before. The article hits home. I've almost had every thought listed! The way it ended made me feel happy >u< <3 I feel kind of good now after reading it. smile.gif

Vendetta, your work is absolutely MESMERIZING! *_*


My friends think I'm really weird, as I tend to say "I love myself the most" or "I'm my best friend"! Also, if anybody could help me out, it'd be much appreciated :C My friend has blatantly and repeatedly told me in front of our friends as well and in private about how "skinny" I am. I've tried to egg her on to be healthier in healthier ways if she really wanted to lose weight by saying that it's because I eat right and and exercise (which I do, though I do fudge on the eating a bit, haha). She has plantar fasciaitis. When I ask her to exercise with me, she refuses because of that foot problem, making it feel like an excuse. She tends to overeat a bit and leads a sedentary lifestyle. She also has depression and takes medication for it. She sometimes acts out as well, telling us she had to go to the ER after trying to kill herself by punching herself in the head repeatedly or showing us how she cut herself with scissors the night before.

I'm at a loss on how to help her. I really do care about her, but I think that this may be too serious for me to handle. She has a therapist as well, but she keeps on telling me that it's her medication that is not well enough.
skindeep1991
    QUOTE(wondermist @ Dec 1 2011, 05:14 AM) *
    Also, if anybody could help me out, it'd be much appreciated :C My friend has blatantly and repeatedly told me in front of our friends as well and in private about how "skinny" I am. I've tried to egg her on to be healthier in healthier ways if she really wanted to lose weight by saying that it's because I eat right and and exercise (which I do, though I do fudge on the eating a bit, haha). She has plantar fasciaitis. When I ask her to exercise with me, she refuses because of that foot problem, making it feel like an excuse. She tends to overeat a bit and leads a sedentary lifestyle. She also has depression and takes medication for it. She sometimes acts out as well, telling us she had to go to the ER after trying to kill herself by punching herself in the head repeatedly or showing us how she cut herself with scissors the night before.

    I'm at a loss on how to help her. I really do care about her, but I think that this may be too serious for me to handle. She has a therapist as well, but she keeps on telling me that it's her medication that is not well enough.


    Although she is a close friend and I'm sure you love her, I completely agree that this is too much for you to deal with especially on your own.

    In high school I had a friend with similar problems. It got to the point that she lied about being pregnant and having a miscarriage. In all honesty this friend of yours could be seeking attention that she feels like she needs, by acting out in such a way. I realize that depression doesn't come lightly and comfort eating is very much linked to depression, She could have reasons for not losing weight that you're not aware of, for example as this book has told me:
    Some women chose not to loose weight subconsciously as they feel like they've already failed because they're 'fat' so no one will expect them to succeed at anything. They will never feel in competition with other women if they are 'fat' so they keep it because its easier to hide behind the 'fat'.

    Personally as her friend and as someone who likes her. The best thing you can do about her complaining about her weight is encourage her to love herself the way she is. Mention all of the things about her that you think are gorgeous. Take her shopping and get her to try on some clothes that she likes but wouldn't ever try on due to her insecurities. Try an encourage her to feel comfortable in her own skin at the weight she currently is because although she says she hates her weight she may not want to lose weight and may just want self acceptance.

    Put yourself in her position if you feel unhappy with yourself and you talk to your friends about your problems, You wouldn't want to be made to feel worse about not dieting or more awkward about what you eat in front of people due to embarrassment you don't want to be hearing 'go the the gym and eat healthy'. You want your friends to say 'you're beautiful you shouldn't feel bad, you have a great ass and amazing eyes.' and for them to take you shopping or take you with them when they get there hair cut just to feel better about yourself as yourself. Not to tell you that you're only gonna be happy if you're someone else.

    You're an awesome friend to be concerned about her like this and I'd love to have friends like you in my life. Sorry if I wasn't much help but I have self conscious friends that I've taken out and we've completely re-vamped ourselves and they've felt so much better about themselves. Hey I've even done it with my mother hah.

    Also I know sometimes hanging out with someone that is depressed like that can bring you down as well so it's good that you have someone outside of your friendship group to talk about this matter with and get any feelings off of your chest because it can be a little full on at times.

    good luck hun xxx
    wondermist
    skindeep, thank you very much for your advice. I've not thought about the losing weight thing in that perspective before, but thank you for enlightening me. How would you handle it when she keeps on denying your statements? Even when we say that she draws well, she always adamantly deny it.

    She's socially... awkward.

    I don't think I can associate very much with her anymore. She has hit me repeatedly and laughed afterwards, even if I tell her to stop. She would say in her sad voice and face "I'm sorry, do you hate me?" (For both situations where she has physically harmed me or has just upset me.) She has done this and smiled afterwards as if everything is a joke, making me unable to believe if she really is hurt or not.

    Thank you very much for your help anyways. It's very much appreciated ^^
    skindeep1991
    QUOTE(wondermist @ Dec 2 2011, 12:17 AM) *
    skindeep, thank you very much for your advice. I've not thought about the losing weight thing in that perspective before, but thank you for enlightening me. How would you handle it when she keeps on denying your statements? Even when we say that she draws well, she always adamantly deny it.

    She's socially... awkward.

    I don't think I can associate very much with her anymore. She has hit me repeatedly and laughed afterwards, even if I tell her to stop. She would say in her sad voice and face "I'm sorry, do you hate me?" (For both situations where she has physically harmed me or has just upset me.) She has done this and smiled afterwards as if everything is a joke, making me unable to believe if she really is hurt or not.

    Thank you very much for your help anyways. It's very much appreciated ^^


    People who don't believe that they are attractive or whatever constantly deny it. It's just something they do. It could either be because they want to hear more compliments or people to insist or because they genuinely don't believe that they are any good at it.

    Right firstly you should NEVER allow ANYONE to hurt you physically or not. You are not a punching bag for someone elses emotional issues. I don't care if she's your friend or not the fact that she is happy by upsetting you doesn't make her a friend in my books.
    Also if you are angry or upset be angry and upset with her, don't pretend everything is fine just cause she puts on that stupid face or voice, Be angry with her let her know that she's officially pissed you off because there's no way she's gonna stop if you pretend everything is ok, If anything she's going to get worse. She's bullying you due to her insecurities no matter how you word it and you shouldn't accept that behavior. shout at her if you have to, put her in her place but don't take crap from her or anyone. Do not feel sorry for her either after she behaves like that, you have to think to yourself that she's enjoying hurting you probably because she's jealous of you. and if that's the case you should say to her 'seriously stop it, I don't care weather you're jealous of me or whatever but stop picking on me and hitting me you're pissing me off' she'll soon be quiet after you mention that she's jealous of you out loud.
    Don't let her bring you down sweetie.

    I had a 'best friend' exactly like this that used to pull me down literally from when i was 5 til I was 18 ....when we stopped talking she sent me a long horrible message that really upset me at first stating all my flaws. and when we were friends she used to always bring me down cause she was feeling shit, comparing our stomachs telling me I was fatter than her. saying things like 'what does it feel like to have small boobs like a boy? how do your boyfriends act with it?' etc...regardless of there home problems or mental state it is unacceptable to treat you that way especially when you're a friend that tries to help them.
    DeeRayy
    hey all! hope everyone's doing well. i just so happened to stumble across an article that i think is very interesting, and relates to boobie issues

    http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2010/11/09/the...ith-obligation/

    do you guys feel enormous pressure to be "sexy"? i know i certainly do!
    skindeep1991
    QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Dec 5 2011, 05:47 PM) *
    do you guys feel enormous pressure to be "sexy"? i know i certainly do!


    Constantly to be honest, Whenever I go out I feel pressure into competing with all these girls and there good looks. It was better when I was single because I didn't feel I needed to hold anyone's attention as much. But when I'm out with my partner he's quite an attractive boy and I constantly feel like I'm competing looks wise with other girls and sadly a lot of them are a lot more blessed with looks than I am. I've always felt really self conscious though and the pressure to look sexy just makes it worse.

    how about you?
    starship
    Hi!

    I just popped in here for the first time in ages and wanted to say hello. Haven't fully catched up (it's been a long time) but have had a nosey through the more recent posts- I miss this place!

    Like Vendetta I used to post on here a lot, but haven't really felt the need for quite a while. I thought it might be useful to let people know this because it shows that just because it is consuming you at one stage in your life, doesn't mean it always will. Don't get me wrong, my breasts can still be an issue and I probably think about their size more than the average woman and get down about it. but...I do feel better about them now and with time have grown more and more comfortable in my own skin.
    I've come to realise that having super-small breasts is far more normal than we realise, an often well-hidden secret. We look gorgeous naked and many other people think so too. Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all

    I'm 23 now and finallyy starting to feel at ease with my body, slowly but surely. Hopefully I'll never revert back to the stage where my breasts were all I seemed to think about and I was often left in tears.

    For all those at the stage of complete self-loathing that i was at a few years ago- hang on in there, it does get better!
    skindeep1991
    QUOTE(starship @ Dec 5 2011, 06:47 PM) *
    Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all



    I do have a tumblr but all it's seem to do is find anorexic people or really skinny women I wish I looked like =[ I haven't stumbled across any small breast tumblrs...what is your tumblr I will follow you =]
    skindeep1991
    QUOTE(starship @ Dec 5 2011, 06:47 PM) *
    Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all



    I do have a tumblr but all it's seem to do is find anorexic people or really skinny women I wish I looked like =[ I haven't stumbled across any small breast tumblrs...what is your tumblr I will follow you =]
    KeraBear
    Starship - Thank you for posting!  It was a great source of encouragement to me. I'm 19 and still struggle so much. And knowing that you are 23 and fairly well adjusted, well... it gives me hope! But i suppose i shouldn't underestimate how far i have already come. i've made some serious progress since i started posting here when i was 16 and i was a huge small-boobied mess back then. Wow.

    Wondermist - I agree with Skindeep on a lot of points, especially the bit about distancing yourself from her. It doesn't sound like this is a healthy relationship, especially if she is using you as a punching bag. I wouldn't completely drop her as a friend, though. If she is as socially awkward, like you say, she probably doesn't have a lot of those. It sounds like she needs a positive person in her life in some form or another and you totally fit that bill. You are such a warm, caring person! It might be part of the reason why she is so drawn to you... but you definitely need to have a serious one-on-one convo about curbing these violent tendencies of hers. It would have to be a prerequisite for continuing the friendship for sure...

    DeeRayy - Good link!  I can always count on you to post a link that is thoughtful and well-written.  I appreciate how the links you pick are more body image oriented more than anything - not just for small busties like us!

    To answer the question about feeling pressure to be "sexy."  YES!  I think for me, more than anything, i feel like pressured to find creative ways to compensate for my small breasts. I know, I know.  Wrong attitude. I should feel attractive BECAUSE of my small breasts, not despite them, huh?  That article actually made me sad because of how it talked about how girls barely into puberty are getting "sexualized" and feeling all sorts of these same pressures. sad.gif

    Skindeep - interesting about how you feel more pressure to be sexy now that you are no longer single. I would have thought that it would be the opposite, but now that you've explained it, it totally makes sense.

     

     
    anarch
    Wondermist -- huh, reading your words and and Skindeep's reminded me of a friend I had in elementary and junior high school, who hit me. She was emotionally really messed up and I was her only friend. I drifted away from that friendship in high school, because she was taking way more than she gave me, emotionally, and I got tired of being (as skindeep puts it so well) her emotional (and physical) punching bag. I stayed as long as I did because I felt sorry for her. In retrospect, it sure as hell wasn't my job to make her feel better about herself when she didn't respect me enough not to hit me. I should have walked away years earlier. Maybe that would have clued her in that asshole behaviour has consequences.

    Vendetta -- thank you for posting your portfolio. Wow. What an eye you have. I think that if we were to have a small breast support group meetup and you took photos, you'd be able to bring out the beauty in all of us that we too often think we don't have.

    I actually came in here to post this bebe top, which I bought on sale and it arrived today and is indeed tres sexy for my little boobs. So looking forward to warm weather so I can try it out in public. It's got a low back though so I'll need to wear those chicken cutlet things on my boobs to smooth out the headlights (it has a bra shelf support, thankfully).



    karategrrl
    QUOTE(kikyochan @ Nov 27 2011, 07:03 PM) *
    Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?

    I've been outboobed again! By someone less than 1/3 my age! Argh!

    But seriously, welcome.
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