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KeraBear
omg, a Karategrrl sighting! smile.gif

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 7 2011, 09:14 AM) *
I've been outboobed again! By someone less than 1/3 my age! Argh!

But seriously, welcome.


ha ha... I know right? I was thinking the same thing. I almost said, "SHUT. UP." lol But like i said before, 13 is a reaaaallly difficult age, so I showed compassion. smile.gif I needed ALOT of reassurances and encouragement when i was that age. Heck... still do...
karategrrl
QUOTE(KeraBear @ Dec 7 2011, 05:21 PM) *
omg, a Karategrrl sighting! smile.gif
ha ha... I know right? I was thinking the same thing. I almost said, "SHUT. UP." lol But like i said before, 13 is a reaaaallly difficult age, so I showed compassion. smile.gif I needed ALOT of reassurances and encouragement when i was that age. Heck... still do...


kikyochan, just want to clarify, as I certainly want you to feel welcome here.

Some of the ladies on this board (including me) have expressed frustration at times when much younger women (teens, even) have larger breasts. And if the younger woman also feels "small" and expresses sadness at this, it can be doubly frustrating for those of us who would give their left toenails for those "small" breasts. biggrin.gif

That said, another thing we've often discussed here are the messages from media and other sources that seem to constantly bombard people--especially youth--with the idea that there is a very narrow "ideal" of beauty, be it thin/large-breasted, etc, and that one must go to extremes to "fix" the "flaws" to fit into that narrow mold. To be made to feel anything less than the awesome young lady you are is certainly unacceptable, and if you feel that you are too small, then there must be something wrong with the media and/or people who gave you that impression.

No matter what your size, you're most welcome here if you're looking for (pardon the pun) support, and to feel great about yourself! wink.gif You will find an outstanding group of intelligent, witty ladies here. Please feel free to express whatever you need to. <hugs>
KeraBear
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 7 2011, 12:41 PM) *
No matter what your size, you're most welcome here if you're looking for (pardon the pun) support, and to feel great about yourself! wink.gif You will find an outstanding group of intelligent, witty ladies here. Please feel free to express whatever you need to. <hugs>


I second this!! I hope you didn't take my comment as in you aren't welcome here. Far from my intent! smile.gif The common thread here is improving body image.
karategrrl
OMG, I can't wait to see this documentary when it comes out on DVD.

http://missrepresentation.org/
wondermist
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 8 2011, 09:00 AM) *


This looks extremely promising. You guys always manage to find the most amazing of articles!
DeeRayy
hey girls,

I wanted to hear some thoughts on a certain bedroom problem i'm having. As I've written before, I still can't take off my bra (or shirt, for that matter) in front of my current sexual partner. He's asked me to get completely naked about twice but saw how uncomfortable I was with the idea and doesn't ask anymore. We haven't actually talked about it so he doesn't know about my issues with my boobs and how crippling they can be sometimes. I'm currently home from winter break so I will not be seeing him for a few weeks. So my question is- how should I proceed from this point? Should I just do nothing and leave the subject un-discussed? Should I talk to him about it, and if so, how should I go about doing so? Our relationship is pretty casual (it's almost strictly physical) so I feel like it would be a bit much to talk about such a personal issue and expect emotional support from him. Or should I just take a break from the whole casual sex thing for a while? I really enjoy the sex, but I feel like if I can't be naked with another person then I'm probably not emotionally ready/healthy enough to be having sex (especially casual sex). For instance, one time when I had slept over he thought it would be fun to shower together the next morning, but when he proposed the idea to me I was literally frozen with anxiety at the mere thought of having to take my clothes off in front of him, especially in daylight in the bathroom. Yet I had just had sex with him the night before. This no strings attached relationship has its perks and regular sex has great benefits, both mentally and physically, but i"m starting to question whether or not i can really handle it.

so what's your take on this, guys? i know a lot of you are probably thinking "why not just take it off and see his reaction?" but it's really not a possibility for me at the moment- it's just too triggering.
skindeep1991
QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Dec 10 2011, 09:50 AM) *
hey girls,

I wanted to hear some thoughts on a certain bedroom problem i'm having. As I've written before, I still can't take off my bra (or shirt, for that matter) in front of my current sexual partner. He's asked me to get completely naked about twice but saw how uncomfortable I was with the idea and doesn't ask anymore. We haven't actually talked about it so he doesn't know about my issues with my boobs and how crippling they can be sometimes. I'm currently home from winter break so I will not be seeing him for a few weeks. So my question is- how should I proceed from this point? Should I just do nothing and leave the subject un-discussed? Should I talk to him about it, and if so, how should I go about doing so? Our relationship is pretty casual (it's almost strictly physical) so I feel like it would be a bit much to talk about such a personal issue and expect emotional support from him. Or should I just take a break from the whole casual sex thing for a while? I really enjoy the sex, but I feel like if I can't be naked with another person then I'm probably not emotionally ready/healthy enough to be having sex (especially casual sex). For instance, one time when I had slept over he thought it would be fun to shower together the next morning, but when he proposed the idea to me I was literally frozen with anxiety at the mere thought of having to take my clothes off in front of him, especially in daylight in the bathroom. Yet I had just had sex with him the night before. This no strings attached relationship has its perks and regular sex has great benefits, both mentally and physically, but i"m starting to question whether or not i can really handle it.

so what's your take on this, guys? i know a lot of you are probably thinking "why not just take it off and see his reaction?" but it's really not a possibility for me at the moment- it's just too triggering.


What I can suggest is that you should talk to him about it. Just explain casually though don't go into it unless he asks but I'd just explain 'no I don't really like my breasts' and leave it at that. He might let it go and carry on as normal or he might ask about it.
Another point I'd like to make is you're saying that you guys don't speak about any personal issues or need emotional support but do you know if that's what he wants?...how would you feel if he got a girlfriend?...my thoughts are as females even if we don't want to a lot of us tend to get emotionally attached through sex, so the no-strings relationship doesn't really work well. Well that's unless you think otherwise but if you tell him whats the worst that can happen? he's either going to agree and be like 'oh ok I won't ask again sorry' or he's going to ask you more personal questions and possibly speak about feelings with you and what he thinks of your appearance....It really just depends on what you're willing to answer. I do think you should just mention it though as I think he needs some sort of understanding because he could be thinking the worst case scenario like i would be thinking and he could think that you're scarred or something else.
KeraBear
You are right, i do recommend to just "rip off the bandaid" so to speak - the next time you are together just abandon all your fears and rip off your shirt and bra. Witness his delight and voila! Problem solved. But i know, i know... it's not that easy... as you've already said. So forget that.

What about baby steps? First, have him play with them with your shirt and bra on. Then as you gain confidence, remove the shirt. Then when you see how he isn't completely mortified- take another baby step... and so on. smile.gif

Skindeep raises an interesting question though... is it possible to be invested in a sexual relationship without emotion entering into it? hmm... i dunno. I've never had a "FWB" myself, but I would have to say it would be hard not to on at least some small level. I agree with Skindeep though in that you shojld talk to him about it. He probably knows something is up anyways. I think it would make you feel better getting it off your chest (pardon the expression!).

But judging from the fact that you've even entertained the thought that maybe you are not ready for this means that there is at least something to it.

Sorry.... that's all I've got. I'm only 19, after all! smile.gif
DeeRayy
QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Dec 10 2011, 03:01 AM) *
I do think you should just mention it though as I think he needs some sort of understanding because he could be thinking the worst case scenario like i would be thinking and he could think that you're scarred or something else.


well the thing is, i AM kinda scarred. i don't think you were a member yet when i first came to the thread, skindeep, but the event that triggered me to come onto this thread was a bad experience with an ex. i've basically moved on from that but i still carry a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to men, sex and my boobs.

i do think you have a point though when you say that women in general can't really have sex without becoming emotionally attached. i don't really feel extremely attached to him but i do feel some amount of affection, and i do somewhat care about him. i'm not expecting a relationship to form from this, since he is a senior and is graduating from university this year. he's also 24 while i'm only 19 so there's a bit of an age gap there. so realistically i know that this probably isn't going anywhere, but it's nice for the time being.


QUOTE(KeraBear @ Dec 10 2011, 02:25 PM) *
What about baby steps? First, have him play with them with your shirt and bra on. Then as you gain confidence, remove the shirt. Then when you see how he isn't completely mortified- take another baby step... and so on. smile.gif


That does sound better than just ripping off the band aid. The thing is, it's not really his reaction that i'm scared of. It's just that I myself am still not comfortable enough with my own breasts to show them to anyone else. I mean, we're already having sex and i don't wear push up bras or anything so i know my bra size probablyh isn't that big of a deal to him. i just really don't feel emotionally ready to show them to anyone, and i have a feeling that even if he did offer me reassurance that i still wouldn't believe him. this video really explains the phenomenon that's going on with me here (it's very 90's, haha, but what she's saying is SO true). she basically says that when you've believed such negative thoughts about your body for so long it becomes impossible to allow someone else to tell you otherwise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_cAUp397N8...feature=related
KeraBear
QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Dec 10 2011, 07:06 PM) *
That does sound better than just ripping off the band aid. The thing is, it's not really his reaction that i'm scared of. It's just that I myself am still not comfortable enough with my own breasts to show them to anyone else. I mean, we're already having sex and i don't wear push up bras or anything so i know my bra size probablyh isn't that big of a deal to him. i just really don't feel emotionally ready to show them to anyone, and i have a feeling that even if he did offer me reassurance that i still wouldn't believe him. this video really explains the phenomenon that's going on with me here (it's very 90's, haha, but what she's saying is SO true). she basically says that when you've believed such negative thoughts about your body for so long it becomes impossible to allow someone else to tell you otherwise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_cAUp397N8...feature=related


Yeah... that makes sense. Unfortunately I don't see any magic "cure" here.  I guess the best remedy here is ... time. Yes, i know, lame answer! But seriously it will be a process as with a lot of us here and our separate issues. But i am sure that it will take finding that special someone - the one that loves you inside and out, who appreciates everything that you are. smile.gif But really you have to learn to love yourself though... that's where things get real tricky huh? i can speak from personal experience on that one...
karategrrl
Such great advice here, regardless of the age of the one giving it. wink.gif

DeeRayy, let me throw out another possibiity. You spent a lot of time explaining how you feel about the "casual sex" situation, so reading between the lines it seems it's really weighing on your mind. Would you have an easier time being naked with him if it were a different (non-casual) kind of relationship? Is keeping your bra on a way for you to protect yourself (maybe from the inevitable hurt that you'll experience when you two part ways) or does it give you a feeling of control? (And I mean healthy "control"--that word has gotten a bad rap, as if wanting to have some level of control over our lives makes us into control freaks. We all have that right, and it is healthy.) And even if you've felt this level of anxiety before, with other partners, I wouldn't assume it always has to be that way, as each partner, relationship and stage you're at when you get involved brings something different to the picture.

What exactly makes you feel uncomfy? (Forgive me if I missed that.) Do you think he'll laugh or be mortified, or not want you anymore? Or you just don't like the way you look at all, without your bra? Maybe getting REAL specific about what's bugging you might help you move past it. If you're not wearing padded push-ups, I imagine he already has a really good idea what your boobies look like, and between porn and real encounters, I'm sure he's seen breasts of all shapes and sizes before and he is still hot enough for you to sleeping with you. Just another thought which I hope is comforting. wink.gif

You've got some great things here others have provided to think about. Only YOU know what's best for you. We'll support you as you figure out what that is. wink.gif xxoo
strongirl
Hellooooo sister small-busties! I'm back from Hawaii and just wanted to catch up a bit and say hit. Lots of good stuff in here as usual!

Wanted to share a funny story from my trip. I was with my bf and his two sisters and their husbands. The sisters and hubbies are about a decade older than us, around 60, and I love them all, they're just great and a lot of fun. Every day we'd all take photos then share them each night on a big screen. One day the bf and I were playing in a really cool spot where a river meets the ocean and I took my top off (as I am inclined to do) and he shot a bunch of photos of me. I didn't think a thing of it...forgetting about our nightly group photo sessions! When the time came I was like...uh...uhh...hmmm. So he explained, and they were all like, "let's see 'em!". He took the clicker from his brother-in-law so that the bro-in-law couldn't stay on them too long or switch back and forth (he's a bit of a prankster). I was nervous - but you know what? It was fine. Just not that big a deal. They were all very complimentary and not shocked and it was just sort of a non-event. Some of the shots I liked the way I looked, some not so much (warning: underwater shots show a distinct "squishing" effect on boobies, fyi). But hey, just another illustration of the fact that boobs are not the be all and end all and small ones are just fine.

DeeRayy, re. your reluctance to bare your breasts for your FWB...I think it is first and foremost a REALLY personal and individual decision, so be sure to filter any advice in here through your own comfort level before acting. I personally have had many sexual relationships that did not involve love or commitment, and in some ways I think that type of relationship is perfect for sexual experimentation, including experimentation with what is and is not comfortable. I find it easier to experiment in casual relationships and deep, long-term committed ones...it's the in-between ones that I tend to close up in (thinking "where are we here? does he love me? do I love him? what if I love him and then I make a mistake and he rejects me?"). But if you're really cool with the casual, temporary nature of this (and to me it sounds like you are but don't take my word for it, look inward) then you might consider using this as a good place to try exposing your breasts. As Karategrrl said, since you're not wearing padded bra's, he already has a fair idea of the size of your breasts and he's still interested. For all you know, he's a small-boob guy and starting to feel frustrated that you're depriving him of the complete tour. If I were you, I'd take the plunge. But I'm not you, you are, so as I said, filter that through your own comfort level.

And I agree with Karategrrl's suggestion re. getting more specific about what bothers you. That's a good idea regardless.

DeeRayy
thank you for all the advice ladies! i know it's a weird problem and i guess i'm just frustrated that at nearly 20 years old i still can't be naked with anyone.

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 21 2011, 07:13 AM) *
What exactly makes you feel uncomfy? (Forgive me if I missed that.) Do you think he'll laugh or be mortified, or not want you anymore? Or you just don't like the way you look at all, without your bra? Maybe getting REAL specific about what's bugging you might help you move past it.


good question, karategrrl. i honestly don't think that he'll react badly. it's just moreso that I myself don't like the way i look without a bra, especially how they flatten out so much when i'm on my back. so for me i just feel safer and, yes, more in control when i have a bra on. and since it's a casual relationship i don't feel obligated to really expose all of myself to him because, well, he doesn't really NEED to see everything. i just wanna clarify- i don't think me taking off my bra will make the experience less enjoyable for him (i haven't asked him about it but i don't think he really cares), it's just that i feel like it will make the experience less enjoyable for me because of my anxiety over the way my boobs look without a bra.


QUOTE(strongirl @ Dec 21 2011, 02:52 PM) *
I personally have had many sexual relationships that did not involve love or commitment, and in some ways I think that type of relationship is perfect for sexual experimentation, including experimentation with what is and is not comfortable. I find it easier to experiment in casual relationships and deep, long-term committed ones...it's the in-between ones that I tend to close up in (thinking "where are we here? does he love me? do I love him? what if I love him and then I make a mistake and he rejects me?").


i agree very much that casual relationships are better for sexual experimentation. yeah, my current relationship may not be the most emotionally fulfilling one but it's a fun deal for now. and during this winter break from the school year i've been really thinking about this and i've decided i'm completely fine with it. if anything i was feeling a little bit of anxiety about how what i was doing was kind of "slutty", but i've gotten over that and decided that i shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying myself, just so long as i practice safe sex.
KeraBear
Dee - Omigosh i sooooo totally feel you about the way my booblets look when i am on my back!!! I am glad that you have reached a decision that you feel comfortable with as far as your FWB. And no, i don't think you should feel "slutty" at all. Embrace your sexuality, girl! Isn't college about experimentation anyways? wink.gif. btw, why is it when guys do those sorts of things, nobody ever has any concerns of "sluttiness"? What's up with that???

Strongirl - Hawaii??? Awesome!!!! Welcome back! And no, i am not surprised the Great Boobinis managed to escape yet again. lol. Thanks for providing a, umm... snapshot of what your vacation was like. i've never thought about the way boobs look underwater before... interesting. Glad to hear your booblets were well received, ha ha
DeeRayy
hey girls!

i just wanted to pop in since it's been kinda dead here lately. one of my new year's resolutions is (of course) to be less harsh on my body and just more positive all around because it's really easy for me to become a debbie downer when it comes to my physical appearance.

i'm really happy that i've discovered miss Betty Dodson. what an inspiration! i can't stop reading the articles on her website and watching her video blog with carlin ross (i'm honestly not a big fan of carlin because i don't think she's nearly as insightful as Betty, but then again Betty has like forty or fifty years on her). i really recommend the other young busties to check out her website- dodsonandross.com. and she's also a fellow smallie so that makes her advice even more relevant smile.gif

I've become such a regular on her website that I actually decided to submit my current boobie dilemma that I asked you guys about recently (you know, the fact that i can't take my bra off during sex) to the "ask Dr.Betty" link. well, she answered it and i really enjoyed the last sentences of her response- "Of course you can leave your bra on but frankly, I think that looks silly and actually draws more attention to what you imagine to be a flaw.C'mon girl! Off with the tit bag on to the new empowered orgasmic you." haha, and while i don't know if i can really muster up the courage to take off my bra just yet, i really appreciate her words of encouragement. i'm planning on purchasing her books as soon as i can get the money.

i also want to purchase miranda kerr's book "treasure yourself". yes, she may be a victoria's secret model and i know victoria's secret may seem like the devil to small busted women. however, she was extremely small before she had her recent kid, and had a fairly straight up and down figure so to me she's very relatable.

http://heybitch.net/wp-content/uploads/201...-topless-03.jpg

btw, that pic was taken while she was already modeling for vs, and ironically, a lot of the victoria's secret models have become small boobie beauty icons to me somewhat. i mean, they portray themselves as waaay bigger with their ridiculously padded bras and gel inserts, but a lot of them are small boobed beauties. so if you think about it some of the most lusted after women on earth are rocking the a's and b's.

examples-
candice swanepoel
alessandra ambrosio
rosie huntington-whiteley

so now i personally don't feel very envious of the forced cleavage anymore when i see a victoria's secret ad.

i'm actually pretty nervous this week. i'm coming back to university from break this weekend and i don't really know what's gonna happen with my fwb and if we're gonna continue sleeping together. but if we do i will definitely try to bare the boobies and tell you all how it goes if i do!

much love to you all and a happy new year too smile.gif
strongirl
Hey DeeRayy, awesome post! Betty Dodson is a goddess! I first discovered her in the early 80's while standing in a feminist bookstore in Denver browsing books - I came upon her "Cunt Positive" collection of photographs of women's pussies. I was blown away! Since then I've read her books and spent time on her website. She's helped so many people become sex-positive (her phrasing) and orgasmic that if there is a heaven for sex therapists, she will be enjoying one continuous well-deserved orgasm forever! I love Betty Dodson! And I think her advice to you rocks!

Also awesome pics you posted there! So hot I might have to pleasure myself to them later (Betty would love that). And your attitude - about not being envious of the "forced cleavage" - is great. I agree. Not only are they squeezed up in padded push-up bra's, they are airbrushed! There was one photo in the catalog recently where the poor model's belly button was over on her hip - oops! On the small boobie positive side, there's a pic in the current sale catalog of a leopard print swimsuit where the top part is an X that goes across the model's titties. The model is very small breasted and holding her arms up over her head in a way that emphasizes her LACK of cleavage in a totally sexy way. I loved it!

Good luck with the fwb and topless experimentation! Much love to you too, and all of you on here, and wishing everyone a happy, healthy, sexy 2012!




discowombat
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 4 2012, 08:30 PM) *
Not only are they squeezed up in padded push-up bra's, they are airbrushed! There was one photo in the catalog recently where the poor model's belly button was over on her hip - oops! On the small boobie positive side, there's a pic in the current sale catalog of a leopard print swimsuit where the top part is an X that goes across the model's titties.


I went to the website to look at the hot swimsuit you described and instead came across this on accident http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellit...name=vsdWrapper The photoshopping they did on her chesticles looks very... odd. I'm sure she's way better au natural!
discowombat
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 4 2012, 08:30 PM) *
On the small boobie positive side, there's a pic in the current sale catalog of a leopard print swimsuit where the top part is an X that goes across the model's titties. The model is very small breasted and holding her arms up over her head in a way that emphasizes her LACK of cleavage in a totally sexy way. I loved it!



Found it! http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellit...name=vsdWrapper Daaaaaaaaaaamn!
anarch
Sorry to report that I ordered that swimsuit and had to return it. Looked good, but no way I could have swum in it, or in fact done anything in it besides lounge on a beach towel in one position, being VERY VERY careful about changing positions because damn, that thing did not feel like it was going to stay put where it was supposed to.

Sigh. I'd love to hear about women who've been able to make it work, though.

I ended up ordering a "minimal" coverage bikini that worked very well for swimming AND lounging.

DeeRayyy, thanks for reporting on your Dodson experience. I loved reading it. Thanks for the VS model pics too. Nice to see them au naturel instead of all conforming to artificial beauty standards.

skindeep1991
Hello all!!....I am here today to write about something breast related I've come across that really pissed me off.
I've recently got paid so I decided to treat myself and buy some new bras. Now I was searching for something lacy and pretty, You know quite feminine. Anyway there's the option to search bras by size so I typed in A and then all of a sudden the options were narrowed down to a page full of 'Cleavage enhancing, Ultra padded' Push up bras. Now I don't mean to be picky but WTF!? talk about trying to put girls down, I just wanted something sexy and the options were all basically telling me 'your boobs are too small make them bigger' NO THANK YOU! what is wrong with people? Is it wrong to actually enjoy having small breasts and wanting to show them off?
Fuck society and there ideals of beauty and stupid companies that try to convince you that actually you need extra padding if your breasts don't fit there ideal of beauty!...

This made me even more angry as the website I was on was a well known designer that tries to encourage confident women no matter what size and that was the last place I expected for this to happen.

Sorry for the rant I just wanted to express my annoyance with yet another thing that lets us ladies down.
strongirl
"Is it wrong to actually enjoy having small breasts and wanting to show them off?"

No, it's not wrong, it's very right, and don't let the stupidity stop you from enjoying and sharing your body! I won't if you won't! Deal-io?

karategrrl
Skindeep, nope, nothing wrong with wanting to show off your hot booblets AS THEY ARE! I, too, am frustrated by this BS of all the fucking padding. I once was ordering Victoria's Secret shit via phone and the sales rep kept trying to interest me in all these fucking bras, none of which, of course, came in an A cup. I kept saying, "uh, that one doesn't come in my size," "Nope, that one doesn't either..." until I was thinking, WTF lady, are you that dense?? Finally, I said, "Look, I wear an A cup and VS doesn't carry any. You DON'T HAVE ANY BRAS THAT FIT ME." We finally wrapped up the order. (They may now carry a few A cuppers. Not sure.)

But anyhoo, I HAD to share this story with you. Last night, I went to my local DSW to look for shoes. Spotted a dumbass sticker on the window of a car owned by one whom who I assume to be a dumbass. Hotrod-yellow man-car, shit dangling from the rearview mirrow. Sticker said, "I <heart> BOOBIES!" Ew. How fucking juvenile-typical.

Now, I may be totally wrong in ALL my assumptions, but I was picturing a young white male with a conditioned preoccupation with fake tits, Playboy and strippers. My response? I left a note on his windshield that said, "I <heart> COCKIES!"

Now, maybe I all I did was confuse the fuck out of someone. But whatever--I had fun, and I did something except sit there stewing at this <probable> asshat's need to profess his love of large female breasts. I imagine his bird-of-a-feather asshat friends seeing the sticker and going, "Yeah, man, hurr hurr hurr...me too, hurr hurr!" Maybe he likes small ones, who knows? Maybe the driver is really a female??? If not, I get great pleasure imagining him now confused, mentioning my note from now on whenever anyone comments on the sticker.

Hope I have inspired you all! wink.gif
strongirl
Oh my god, Karategrrl, I just fuckin' love you!!!!! (((((((hugs!)))))))
karategrrl
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 12 2012, 05:14 PM) *
Oh my god, Karategrrl, I just fuckin' love you!!!!! (((((((hugs!)))))))

I love you MORE! XXXOOO

KeraBear
Hey... yea! Fuck those companies and peddling those fucking stupid standards upon small breasted beauties everywhere! It's no wonder why so many of us are so fucked up in the head over this stuff!! Natural, unenhanced "as they are" booblets are fucking awesomesauce!!! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!!! .......... *phew* ..... sorry. All this profanity in the forum lately has been... inspiring. smile.gif
KeraBear
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 11 2012, 05:07 PM) *
"Is it wrong to actually enjoy having small breasts and wanting to show them off?"

No, it's not wrong, it's very right, and don't let the stupidity stop you from enjoying and sharing your body! I won't if you won't! Deal-io?


Count me in! Pinky swear. (titty swear?)
discowombat
This is a bit off topic but clever nonetheless http://vimeo.com/34813864
discowombat
This is a bit off topic but clever nonetheless http://vimeo.com/34813864
DeeRayy
hey ladies.

sooo i experienced a setback this weekend. i had a bit of an episode about my boobies in front of my fwb. while we were discussing body image today in the car the subject of implants came up and it totally triggered me. he didn't even say anything that positive about them, just that they look cool sometimes but feel weird and that he associates them too much with trashy porn women. but of course i started thinking about my booblets and got very quiet for the rest of the ride home.

he eventually wanted to know me tell him what was wrong and i simply can't talk about that subject to someone else without crying, idk why. so started tearing up and briefly explained to him that boobs are a sensitive subject for me because i've struggled with that part of my body for a long time and that I've had some pretty negative experiences before. i also admitted that that's why i don't take my bra off with him. he was pretty surprised that i actually cry over it, and so he hugged me and told me not to let it get to me and gave me the old "boobs are boobs and i like them all" line. so at least he tried to help, and i wasn't expecting him to know what to say anyway. i (obviously) wasn't in the mood for sex after that so i went back to my apartment.

i really don't want to let me distance myself away from him all because of my boobie issues, because i know i have a tendency to do that. the sex is great and even though we're not serious it would be really stupid for me to stop seeing him because of that. i'm kinda embarrassed that he saw me like that and idk if it's gonna effect our sexual chemistry. before this happened i was able to ignore my boobie issues for the most part. and now that it's out in the open i'm afraid i'll be even more inhibited. i don't have a specific question for you all, I just came on because it's been a bad boobie day for me. i just really hope this gets easier for me with time. hope you all had a great weekend though! mine was pretty nice if you exclude today.
KeraBear
awwww Dee, so sorry to hear about your bad boobie day! Yes i can understand how that might throw you off your game a bit. (((big hug!!!!))). Ahhh yes, the ol' boobs are boobs and i like them all line... but you know what? i think there really is something to that. I think most guys are satisfied to get their mits on any pair. At least you are talking about it now though. That might be a good thing? unsure.gif
strongirl
Awww, DeeRayy, (((((big hug)))))!

I don't know this guy nor do I know enough about him to predict his reactions. But I want to mention some possibilities. As painful as this was for you, Kera is right - you're talking about it and that might be a good thing. I think most of the women who post in here have had similar experiences when we've been with a guy, even our partners, and had something trigger our insecurities. While some of the resulting conversations reported in here have been hurtful, many have been helpful, some even on the level of "personal breakthrough" in terms of helping us get over our issues. My boyfriend has helped me so much - not even intentionally for the most part - just by adoring my breasts and being totally turned on by them. And also in the things he's said which I have gradually come to truly believe - that "boobs are boobs and he does like them all", but he particularly likes mine. That implants and big boobs can be eye-catching but there's no way mine could be "improved upon". That even apart from me, he really does have "a thing" for smallies, as demonstrated in his "porn collection". That once a man is touching a woman's breasts, their size isn't even entering his mind, it's the woman's reaction to being touched that he's focused on. (As a bi- woman I can confirm this from my own perspective when I've been with other women.)

There's a tricky line there - no one can "fix" another person's problems and you don't want to give away your power by having your self-worth determined by another person's reactions to you. But our insecurities are distortions. I think it can be very helpful to use another person's view to help bring ourselves into touch with reality. And when I tell my inner critic to listen to his worshipful appreciation...it shuts the bitch up!!!

The reality is that this guy is attracted to you. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be getting erections and you wouldn't be having sex. Whether or not your FWB arrangment survives this somewhat more psychologically intimate exchange, and your own "end it before it gets too uncomfortable" reaction, remains to be seen. But consider the possibility that this "setback" may be an opportunity. And do take good care of yourself, girl - be gentle and nurturing to DeeRayy. She deserves it!
KeraBear
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 17 2012, 10:39 AM) *
I think it can be very helpful to use another person's view to help bring ourselves into touch with reality. And when I tell my inner critic to listen to his worshipful appreciation...it shuts the bitch up!!!


LMAO!! This is so great!!! smile.gif

QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 17 2012, 10:39 AM) *
And do take good care of yourself, girl - be gentle and nurturing to DeeRayy. She deserves it!


Hear! Hear!
KeraBear
I have a quick question. When you have a bad boobie day, do you ever experience feelings of... guilt? Whenever i get down on myself I sometimes feel even worse because I think about how I have this healthy body that lets me do such amazing things! Like what would a crippled person think about my talk of struggling with such an insignificant thing? I dunno... I sometimes feel like a bad person. Is that silly?
DeeRayy
QUOTE(KeraBear @ Jan 19 2012, 05:43 PM) *
I have a quick question. When you have a bad boobie day, do you ever experience feelings of... guilt? Whenever i get down on myself I sometimes feel even worse because I think about how I have this healthy body that lets me do such amazing things! Like what would a crippled person think about my talk of struggling with such an insignificant thing? I dunno... I sometimes feel like a bad person. Is that silly?


I definitely know what you're talking about kerabear. sometimes i just feel so ridiculous for letting my boobies get to me so much when there are so many people out there who would give the world just to have a working, healthy body. i think that you should keep that in mind just for perspective' sake. but i don't think we should feel like bad people for struggling with our bodies. it's not like i wake up and say, "yup, i'm gonna continue feeling ashamed of my boobies today!". i truly wish i could just snap my fingers and make my problems go away, but i can't. it's not something we do on purpose, and i think considering the society we live in it's not very far fetched to struggle so much with one body part. and my boobie issues go much deeper than just aesthetics. they are much more about feeling like a woman, and to a slightly lesser extent, feeling desirable. i think that those are things that almost every woman wants to feel. so yes, we should be thankful for being healthy but i don't think it's good to beat ourselves up over emotional issues that we don't have complete control over.
KeraBear
Thanks Deerayy. Your response really hit the mark. i do feel better about things now. You rock. smile.gif
DeeRayy
rant!

so i'm sure you guys are familiar with those studies on "attractiveness" and what makes us attractive from a biological standpoint. well, it really irked me when my roomate came home talking about how in her sociology lecture they went over what is supposed to be attractive in a woman from an evolutionary/biological standpoint, which is a small nose, larger eyes, a small chin, and a low waist-to-hip ratio. my roomate is very...well, she likes being told what to do and what is right/wrong and so she totally ate it up. these studies have always ticked me off because i am basically the antithesis of these features. i have a prominent ethnic nose, small hips, and small boobs so it really bothers me when these studies basically tell me that i am the total opposite of what men naturally find attractive. and it bothers me even more that these concepts are being taught to university students as simple facts of life. i don't want to sound overdramatic, but it's things like these that make me feel like i inherited no physically attractive features whatsoever =/
strongirl
OK, I've gone off on this in here before I know but it's been a while. Cue rant.

DeeRayy, those "studies" come from the field of Evolutionary Psychology. This field is so questionable that there is an entire Wiki article devoted to "Criticism of Evolutionary Psychology". The article is pretty dry and adademic but the main thing to note is that the material generated by "Evo Psych" is NOT regarded as valid science, not widely agreed upon, and in the view of its many critics, simply reflects the cultural and social biases of its researchers.

That stupid waist to hip ratio thing has been kicking around for ages even though it's been seriously questioned by other studies and found to be highly influenced by culture and ethnicity. Like many of the "studies" done in that field, it seems to serve primarily to validate the prejudices of the researchers themselves - big shocker there.

You say it bothers you that "that these concepts are being taught to university students as simple facts of life". Well, sister - it ENRAGES ME!

If you want more ammo against this crap, the book "Sex at Dawn" by Ryan and Jetha, is a juicier and more in-depth read than the Wiki article. It serves to answer some of the same questions as Evo Psych but in a much more rigorous and un-biased manner. Throughout the book, the authors skewer the faulty science and bias-laden logic of conventional Evo Psych. As a long-time skeptic of Evo Psych, I couldn't stop smiling while I was reading it! They are not without their own biases, but they recognize this and try hard to get past it. A recommended read.

But whether or not you read the Wiki or the book, just take this with you: those "studies" are not based in valid science and say absolutely NOTHING about you or your attractiveness. They're bullshit and should be called out as such.
skindeep1991
Hey ladies this is off topic just quickly wanted to leave this link here to cheer some of you up:
http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/comments/..._angel_breasts/

=] see we are attractive... (those aren't my boobies btw haha)

also there is a whole sub reddit called http://www.reddit.com/r/xsmall that is basically dedicated to the appreciation of small boobies =]... have a look through ladies and cheer yourselves up =]
KeraBear
I agree with Strongirl and call BULLSHIT!!

Dee, I am equally astonished that your roommate would be so insensitive...
secretsights88
Well, long time no see ladies.

I agree about "Evo Psych" being crap. If what they said was true, then beauty standards would be universal, and tribes in Africa would value what our culture values... same with tribes in Brazil and other countries. I think it's really sad that we've been taught that "science" has the ultimate truth, when it doesn't. After taking a course on Scientific Research I learned that it's pretty easy to manipulate studies to get the results you want in order to pursue some sort of agenda... so I'm really skeptical now whenever someone mentions "scientific studies" to prove a point... especially when it comes to the human psyche, which is something you can't really measure or generalize upon, since we're all unique.

Recently a Facebook "meme" really pissed me off... there were several pictures of Keira Knightley, Nicole Richie, etc (though there was a pic of Heidi Montag post implants, which I'd taken out). And then there were pics of Bettie Page, Marilyn Monroe, etc... with a caption that said "When did this?" (over the pics of thin women) "Become hotter than this?" (over the pics of "curvy" women). I hate when people feel the need to put one group of people down just to bring others up. I don't question that curvy women like Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were beautiful - they were. But so is Keira Knightley. I am curvy except for my small breasts, I have thick thighs, wide hips, a big butt and a small waist (therefore a low waist to hip ratio), but I don't think I'm superior or hotter than thinner women with their delicate, *feminine* bodies.... both curvy and delicate (as I like to call it) are sexy and feminine. Proof of that: I was just watching "Catch and Release", with Jennifer Garner and Juliette Lewis... and god are they beautiful and SEXY... especially Juliette... that woman always takes my breath away.

As a woman, I think "ethnic" noses as you called them, DeeRayy, are really gorgeous and bring uniqueness to a face... I've realized that not everyone has to have typical "feminine" features to be gorgeous. Sometimes an ethnic nose can bring more beauty than if it were smaller... I've always liked Middle Eastern women's noses... I don't think a naturally small nose is better than a bigger one. They're just different, and just as beautiful.

Likewise I've had acceptance issues with myself. Like I have a strong jaw. I always felt it looked manly and ugly, but for example, Olivia Wilde has an evern stronger jaw than mine and she is beautiful too. Same with my eyes, I have brown eyes and hardly ever get compliments for them, as oppossed to my friend with big green eyes, who always gets compliments on them. But I've learned that any eye color can be pretty... maybe brown eyes are more common where I live so they don't stand out, but it doesn't mean green eyes are better. And that's the way it happens with everything.

Sometimes it's hard to be body positive, but it is possible. I've learned to appreciate all kinds of beauty, and the hardest one to appreciate has been my own. But I'm getting there smile.gif
KeraBear
wooooo!! Welcome back Secretsights88!!! smile.gif

QUOTE(secretsights88 @ Jan 28 2012, 01:53 PM) *
I hate when people feel the need to put one group of people down just to bring others up. I don't question that curvy women like Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were beautiful - they were. But so is Keira Knightley. I am curvy except for my small breasts, I have thick thighs, wide hips, a big butt and a small waist (therefore a low waist to hip ratio), but I don't think I'm superior or hotter than thinner women with their delicate, *feminine* bodies.... both curvy and delicate (as I like to call it) are sexy and feminine. Proof of that: I was just watching "Catch and Release", with Jennifer Garner and Juliette Lewis... and god are they beautiful and SEXY... especially Juliette... that woman always takes my breath away.


I know!! I enounter this all the time. Especially in the "body image" message boards on some teen web sites. If a gal posts something complaining about her small boobs, someone will say, "be glad you don't have big boobs. They are ugly and saggy" OR if a gal comes on complaining about having big boobs, it turns to comments like, "well just be glad you aren't flat!" It's just such a backwards messed up way of looking at things. sad.gif
strongirl
"Sometimes it's hard to be body positive, but it is possible. I've learned to appreciate all kinds of beauty, and the hardest one to appreciate has been my own. But I'm getting there smile.gif"

That is just so...what this forum is all about. Big electronic hug out to you, Secretsights!



DeeRayy
thanks strongirl and secretsights, i really needed to read those responses. i think i've just been feeling more self conscious than usual lately because my fwb seems to be dealing with some form of erectile dysfunction and it can really wreak havoc on my confidence. i can't help but get self conscious when the guy i'm sleeping with loses his erection all the time =/. he gets frustrated too and i know you're not supposed to take it personally when that happens to a guy but it's hard not to feel unattractive when that happens.
JanetteNixon
Oh my!
You're right!
Let's have a dinner.
You know you love me.
XOXO
Gossip Girl. laugh.gif
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karategrrl
Helllloooooo all you hotties!!!

I've been off the board for so long--just up to my ass in life--but awesome to see things rockin' here!

Skindeep, I am going to check out the link to those photos--the preview in my browser looked hot!!!

And discowombat, OMG, that Photoshop thing was awesome!!!! I am SO posting that on Facebook!

Love you guys!
KeraBear
QUOTE(JanetteNixon @ Feb 1 2012, 05:18 AM) *
Oh my!
You're right!
Let's have a dinner.
You know you love me.
XOXO
Gossip Girl. laugh.gif


Wait... what?

QUOTE(JanetteNixon @ Feb 1 2012, 05:18 AM) *
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Oh.
KeraBear
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Feb 16 2012, 07:30 AM) *
Helllloooooo all you hotties!!!

I've been off the board for so long--just up to my ass in life--but awesome to see things rockin' here!


omg me toooooooo... way to bring a lil small boobie love back to the board, karategrrl!! Not much has been going on in my life... well, except i went on a date recently! *giggles like a school girl* It was notable because I did something i've never done before - it was the FIRST first date where I didn't wear a padded bra. Yep, all natural Kerabear. smile.gif
discowombat
QUOTE(KeraBear @ Feb 16 2012, 08:34 AM) *
it was the FIRST first date where I didn't wear a padded bra. Yep, all natural Kerabear. smile.gif


Yay!! This also makes me very happy.
skindeep1991
QUOTE(KeraBear @ Feb 16 2012, 01:34 PM) *
omg me toooooooo... way to bring a lil small boobie love back to the board, karategrrl!! Not much has been going on in my life... well, except i went on a date recently! *giggles like a school girl* It was notable because I did something i've never done before - it was the FIRST first date where I didn't wear a padded bra. Yep, all natural Kerabear. smile.gif


YAY that's great news!!! How did you feel about it and how did he take it, is there a second date planned? =D you go girl!!!

I've let my boobies run free recently and seeing as my dog ate my favorite padded bra and my other one hurts my nipples cause of the piercings at the moment I'm going unpadded too...it feels great actually. I recommend it to all of the busties.

but recently I've realized that my weight issue has a lot to do with my boobies. Because my breasts are on the smaller side of small, it means that my tummy pokes out further than them... Now I think if I had bigger breasts that I probably wouldn't have so much of an issue with my weight, but seeing as I've learned to love my boobies and I constantly make jokes about them and talk openly about them opposed to making them something to be ashamed of I guess I will either have to step up the exercise or embrace the fact that my breasts will never ever EVER stick out further than my belly...EVER. *sigh*

also Dee you can't blame yourself for this, if he's never had problems before then you know it's not you...I think sometimes as a self conscious girl you're willing to see the negatives in yourself rather than the positive and when something happens like that you automatically twist it so you take it personally and make it something negative about you. I think you're fantastic and you should think of the awesome things you have, you're beautiful and you should be confident about that as for this fwb...he's probably feeling REALLY self conscious about this issue also as I know guys get easily self conscious about there man parts.

I love you all ^.^
xXx
discowombat
Well, I finally ordered from The Little Bra Company. Considering that I've never had a bra that fits properly in the first place & the petite sizing complicates it further, I just ordered a small range of the same style with the intention of finding my proper size and returning the ones that don't work. When I get them I'll let you guys know what I think. I really hope one of them works out. I kind of feel like this place is my last hope!
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