Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Our Bodies, Our Hells
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85
anarch
crinoline, your cop story is hilarious!

dj biz - yeah, great tshirt. also, about those spring break assholes, while I agree that most guys in private would be happy to see nekkid boobs of any dimensions, it's different when they're roving around in packs in a place, time and culture that sanctions assholery. I guess that's not all USian Spring Break is about, but the imrpessinos I have of it are from watching clips on tv (I'm Canadian) when, and one thing stuck with me: a long shot of girls stepping one by one onto a small platform, doing a 30-second dance/strip (not all the way, but down to underwear I think) while a rowdy crowd cheered (mostly guys)...until one girl stepped up and for some reason I couldn't figure, the crowd booed her almost instantly and kept doing it until she got off (she stuck it out for the whole allotted time, omg what guts or something. Hopefully she was strong enough like you to think, "Fuckers don't deserve me". I and my roommates couldn't figure out WTF they were booing her for. Possibly it could have been boob size but honestly we couldn't tell whether she was particularly small.

anyway, that's just to say that I think guys often behave differently when in private and alone, than in public and wanting to puff up for their fellow neanderthals.
Vendetta
I think you're talking about trademark Dove, their campaign has been great. Surely it is helping women around the world to look at themselves and enjoy their little faults. Do you know Suicide Girls? www.suicidegirls.com It's women with tattoos, piercings and bodies just like you and me. I've photographed two portuguese beauties and surely my idea of female beauty has changed. I hope I can photograph a lot more of them. I've actually started to find beautiful some features I never did before.
And have you seen any photos of before and after breast augmentation? I've seen women who clearly deserve it and here I am complaining about my really small but perky boobs. Go figure.
knorl05
so i've been thinking about the issue of "real women having curves". this statement is a media concoction. the media sells ideas to sell products. i've realized, i like the fact that less endowed women have yet to be exploited by the media. just because we're not touted as sex symbols or simply because we arent on a billboard in our bra and panties does not make us unattractive. it may feel this way, it may feel as though we are unwanted, or undesirable, because we dont conform to the standard or the norm, but that's entirely not true. we are a minority. and it's always harder for minorities to be seen, heard, appreciated. most people are heavily influenced by the media, and by the mainstream, by majority vote, and that's just how it is. personally, i would like to see more independent thinkers running around than those who dont recognize individual appeal, although i realize that's just an ideal. i think we've got to see how things are, how they have been, and figure out what matters most to us. of course i want to be attractive, of course i dont want to be pitiful or wrong or ridiculous.. but i'd much rather have self respect. and i'd much rather live true to the belief that there is no perfect person and everyone has something attractive about them. i am slightly offended by women with fake breasts, face lifts, or any other obvious form of plastic surgery (and men for that matter). we dont share the same thoughts about life and so i dont want to be lumped into some category with them. if that means i will struggle to accept myself as i am, and if that means i have a slightly more difficult life than those who allow themselves to be molded by current trends, well then so be it. i would rather live true to my own beliefs, than allow the construct of someone/thing else to determine how i feel about myself and those around me.
anonymoose96
QUOTE(knorl05 @ Feb 16 2008, 10:02 PM) *
so i've been thinking about the issue of "real women having curves". this statement is a media concoction. the media sells ideas to sell products. i've realized, i like the fact that less endowed women have yet to be exploited by the media. just because we're not touted as sex symbols or simply because we arent on a billboard in our bra and panties does not make us unattractive. it may feel this way, it may feel as though we are unwanted, or undesirable, because we dont conform to the standard or the norm, but that's entirely not true. we are a minority. and it's always harder for minorities to be seen, heard, appreciated. most people are heavily influenced by the media, and by the mainstream, by majority vote, and that's just how it is. personally, i would like to see more independent thinkers running around than those who dont recognize individual appeal, although i realize that's just an ideal. i think we've got to see how things are, how they have been, and figure out what matters most to us. of course i want to be attractive, of course i dont want to be pitiful or wrong or ridiculous.. but i'd much rather have self respect. and i'd much rather live true to the belief that there is no perfect person and everyone has something attractive about them. i am slightly offended by women with fake breasts, face lifts, or any other obvious form of plastic surgery (and men for that matter). we dont share the same thoughts about life and so i dont want to be lumped into some category with them. if that means i will struggle to accept myself as i am, and if that means i have a slightly more difficult life than those who allow themselves to be molded by current trends, well then so be it. i would rather live true to my own beliefs, than allow the construct of someone/thing else to determine how i feel about myself and those around me.



amen! You just took all the thoughts floating around in my head and put them into words better than I could ever have dreamed of.
dj-bizmonkey
yes, yes and yes knorl!

i've said this before in here, but i'll say it again. bashing one another is completely counter-productive! 'real' women have XX chromosomes. even that is hard for me to say, because it doesn't included transgendered people who were assigned the wrong biological sex. i hate to say it, but i feel like the whole 'real women have curves,' marketing ploy is just in response to the obesity epidemic in the U.S. (that is spreading to Canada, Mexico and parts of Europe as well). Even though the the fashion industry and hollywood may hold an ideal of the ever-shrinking woman (from a 6 to a 4 to a 2 now-adays), the fact of the matter is, their average consumer is overweight. how to sell a product without alienating your consumers? you can either shame them by showing them that they are not even close to the ideal and the only way to get there is to: buy their gym membership, eat their diet food, take their diet pills, get a prescription to their diet medication. OR they can affirm their consumer's identity: sell them high-calorie, high-fat food in too large of portions, sell them endless forms of entertainment so they never need leave their home or desk and can completely disconnect from reality, tell them they are perfect, just the way they are.

women come in different shapes and sizes. some women will always be a bit bigger, squishier, plumper, whatever, no matter how healthy they eat and no matter how much they exercise. that is just normal variation. but there are alot of obese, unhealthy women out there that are being told to 'celebrate and embrace' their curves, when what they are really celebrating and embracing is heat disease, diabetes, hypertension, you name it. i think us women, as a whole, must stand up not only to an unattainable (by healthy, natural means) ideal and also the affirmation and celebration of complacency to our wellbeing, i.e. saying its fine to be obese because 'real women have curves.'

i am completely in the middle in terms of my body shape. body image has always been more difficult for me because i am a naturally, curvier woman. i have a big ass, a really big ass, and big thighs. that is where all my fat deposits are. i am a size 10 or 12. but i also have small breasts, really small breasts, AA's. i always felt like my top half didn't match my bottom half. i found it frustrating that it was okay for skinnier women to have smaller breasts, because they were 'proportional.' i have only met one or two women that are built like me, but they are out there. just as there are the few women who are naturally very thin who have enormous breasts, there are women who are naturally bigger and have small breasts.

i'm glad that knorl brought up the concept of small-breasted women being in the minority. i think that is an accurate description. the average breast size is not an A-cup. (sorry to any B-cupped busties in this thread, but i just don't consider B's to be 'small,' i guess it's all relative.) so in that respect, we are a different kind of minority group. just like knorl said, we shouldn't expect to be adequately represented in mainstream media-images.

we need to stop tearing each other down. some women are skinny, whether they eat cheeseburgers or ricecakes. i envy those women. i certainly don't hate them. they didn't pick out their genetics. some women have large breasts, whether they exercise or diet or even elect to have surgery. i envy those women. it is a nasty emotion, but i can't deny it. we all envy things about eachother. i wish i had your-- insert whatever attribute here. but being jealous and being hateful cannot amount to any positive or constructive outcome.

let's get out there and represent, ladies. yes we are the in the minority (or so it appears in the Western world, i don't know if it would be the same if we all move to say, Thailand), but no one will notice or consider us if we aren't visible and confident. you wouldn't be afraid to be different from the crowd in terms of who you vote for, what music you listen to, what art you appreciate.....don't be afraid to be different in the way that you look. instead of celebrating complacency, let's celebrate diversity, in ALL the forms it takes.

wow. this dj is rambling rambling, rambling.
edie52
I like it when y'all ramble... smile.gif

So, has everyone seen the latest issue of Interview, with Keira Knightley on the cover? She's wearing suspenders, and not much else. I was psyched when I saw it, because her body really looks like mine (she's probably thinner, but proportionally). The inside photos are less revealing, but gorgeous, IMO- she looks like an 1940s Hollywood star. I leafed through it in the store, and later looked it up online to have another look. Of course, what I found was the cover pic with a bunch of peoples' (men and women) comments criticizing her body (and a few defending her). In addition to generally criticizing her breast size, a bunch of folks said she looked anorexic. Then someone pointed out that her thighs were actually quite fleshy in one of the shots. I think if she were the same size but with bigger breasts (even implants), people wouldn't be saying that. She'd look like almost every other Hollywood star. She doesn't look emaciated like Nicole Ritchie did. I mean, she's thin, but it's mostly her breast size that prompts people's "she looks like a boy" comments.

I don't think I've ever even seen anything she's been in, but I definitely feel a kinship with her! She's on our side (when I say "side" I don't want to mean us against other women, but against the media- though unfortunately other women can be just as critical, as we all know). She's spoken candidly about not loving the size of her breasts, but it also seems like she's accepted them. She's brave enough to put 'em out there and she's resisted getting implants.

Has anyone else heard that f*#king annoying song "Big Girls, You are Beautiful?" I mean, the title message is fine, but I hate the line that goes something like "don't want no skinny girl... want a reeeaal woman, with curves in all the right places." But speaking of that, I don't think the whole "real women have curves" marketing ploy actually makes things easier for heavy women. If Beth Ditto (who I think is awesome) posed on a (mainstream) magazine cover in nothing but suspenders, sure, some would celebrate it, but there'd still be snarky comments all over the web, people would still be thinking "I can't believe she's showing off a body that looks like that." I don't think the media is celebrating obesity or even diversity... just pretending to when it's convenient for them.
starship
Keira Knightely is fantastic for the simple fact that she hasn't had a boob job like the majority of other celebrities. Half of whom didnt even need one in the first place which just shows how insecure they must be.Im starting to think that A-cups arent perhaps as rare as Id thought. Looking at the suicideGirls website that Vendetta recommended I was actually quite suprised at how many woman had small breasts there. Not exactly the majority but still more than Id expected. Its hard to tell in everyday life anyway as small boobs can be easily disguised with padded bras or flattering clothing.
I've heard countless songs with similar messages to the crappy Mika one you metioned Edie. (sorry DjBiz) but Im one of those girls who does eat anything without putting on a pound. I dont think of myself as proportional at all though. It seems women really are never happy though because Id love to put on weight. In fact Ive actually gone out of my way to try but theres only so much you can do without putting your health at risk. I find society is becoming increasingly offensive towards women like me which is frustrating as (i feel) I have even less control over my body shape than an overweight problem. The backlash against size zero models has segregated yet another class of women because of their bodies. People need to stop dictating what women should look like (curvy, thin, obese, pear shaped, average etc etc) and just accept that everyone is different and there is no ideal. I can look at any other women's body and list at least 3 attractive things yet when I look at my own all i can see are the things that arent as theyre supposedly supposed to be. that surely isn't right...
and edie what do you mean 'IF beth ditto posed in nothing...' Nakee Beth
Whats more interesting is that the general vibe i got from the feedback of this picture was a millions times more positive than what keira will probably get. She was applauded by most people for being proud of her body and 'breaking thing mould'. It's a shame that this kind of outlook only applies to a select few
konphusion26
I just checked out the Kiera Knightley cover... she looks friggin hot! I also saw the one with Beth Ditto, she looks pretty hot too! I think her boldness is sexy. I wish I had the "balls" to do something like that. I am petite, with a small B cup but got a bit o' belly so they look smaller LOL I know that as soon as I lose weight the "girls" are going south like they always do.
starship
Oh and I don't know where you guys stand on the whole to pad or not to pad fiasco but if youre looking for a cleavage I'd seriously recommend 'Panache Atlantis' bras. I wouldnt wear everyday but they start from an AA-cup and can create amazing boobs from more or less nothing
karategrrl
QUOTE(emmabove @ Feb 13 2008, 05:37 AM) *
my boobs are not corvettes, nor are they cadillacs. they are more like a pair of those little smart cars.


laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif LOL! Great! Mine must be Mini Coopers!
newo_ikkin
I've got Vespas!!

(I think Vespas are awesome)

Regarding Keira Knightely: I saw Atonement this weekend and she looks amazing in that green dress.
knorl05
(((anonymoose96)))

dj biz: your rambling is amazing.. you always bring up so many great points! and this here "but being jealous and being hateful cannot amount to any positive or constructive outcome." i've seriously determined (and this may be common knowledge to some) that the bulk of our reaction to the world depends on our values. i used to really struggle with the realization that there are a lot of petty people in the world. i can only understand it through my own shamefully petty moments/tendencies. i believe people cut into eachother for a few reasons.. for validation or power, out of fear or the need to be included. i'm sure there are variations to these, and i'm sure my understanding of this particular human behavior isnt all-inclusive... i just think this is the only rational explanation i can come up with as to why many people are less concerned with constructive outcomes than we are our own immediate personal gains. i dont think we always have the foresight or vision to see things differently. it may not be 'right' how the media targets consumers and how consumers blindly consume it, but that seems to be what we're dealing with... we are all objectified and used in the main circuit and as much as we try to separate ourselves from it, it still seems to affect us.

edie52: i think people will always criticize and critique attractive people in the public eye. it just seems to go along with the territory. i dont think people really think keira knightly looks like a boy, i just feel that people want to have an opinion about something. they want to try to convince others (and themselves) that an attractive person really isnt that special, that great, they want to make them seem more real, less idolized and revered over their appearance. i know i feel pretty good about myself when i see the unretouched photos of celebs floating around the internet. i like real people, i think most people do too. just a for instance, johnny depp. ooo. right? so many people, men and women alike, love him. and i think it's because he's not afraid to be real. helps he's a man, and a beautiful man at that, but just imagine if his persona were that of a pompous snob.. i dont think as many people would take so strongly to him. uuh. derail, sorry. what thread is this?? ha.

ooh work has my head in a spin. so boobies. small ones. they rock. biggrin.gif
edie52
I want to say mine are Fiats... cuz Fiats are cool...

I didn't know that Beth Ditto had posed nude- but I'm not surprised. When I saw them play she stripped down to her t-shirt and panties, and was brimming with confidence and sexiness. I also thought she was prettier in real life, much softer looking (maybe it was the southern accent?).

Damn, I want that green dress!
knorl05
i vow to not reply on this board at 330a after 8 hours of punching numbers. seriously dulls my thought processes.

alllso.. just my personal experience. when i was bartending i felt much more pressure to have larger breasts than i do when i work a regular job. i know certain industries and fields of work seem to expect more from personal appearance than do others. i also felt more pressure in my early twenties than i do in my late twenties to look a certain way. i dont know if it's maturity, or if it's that i've just given in to the ways of the (western) world. i have opted out of the superficialmaterialistic gauntlet, but i have yet to let go of my water bras. rolleyes.gif

oh ps dj biz, also: "but there are alot of obese, unhealthy women out there that are being told to 'celebrate and embrace' their curves, when what they are really celebrating and embracing is heat disease, diabetes, hypertension, you name it. i think us women, as a whole, must stand up not only to an unattainable (by healthy, natural means) ideal and also the affirmation and celebration of complacency to our wellbeing, i.e. saying its fine to be obese because 'real women have curves.'" i completely agree.
Vendetta
I guess you've been my best friends lately lol I can't talk to noone about my issue and I'm turning my boyfriend's life into a living hell. Literally. And in the end I can't even rant with him cause he's already pissed off enough...
Sooo... I'm 24 years old. I'm attractive, smart and yada yada... I've always been pretty happy with myself. Sometimes I would even LOVE myself. Even with my normal dislikes and insecurities, those that everyone has, I thought I had it all. I had the face, the hair, the body. My self-confidence on bed was awesome. I've always been awesome to the eyes of everyone. I'm sorry for my lack of modesty here, but hei girls, we know that if we love ourselves and celebrate ourselves enough, everyone will notice. I've never been in love with my lack of breast but hei.. padded bras, gel inserts and all of that crap were just a part of my wardrobe. And I would even sleep bare naked with my ex-boyfriend, no problem about it. His sexuality was all about me. We dated for 3 years. I would even go to strip clubs as sometimes we usually did and feel great about myself. My God, I had never thought, not only for a minute, that he wished my chest was bigger. Hei, I had never even thought that I didn't had it all. And so I meet this guy...
I don't know where it all started. Because I appreciate women too, he felt confortable to comment them. As I did with my ex-boyfriend. But with this guy, that was my "death sentence". We was mad about big breasts. He once told my brother, hei dude, I'm MAD about breasts, but your sister is just something... We would be watching a porn video and he would say hei that is my kind of breasts, big and a bit saggy. He would say Shakira is fine but has no breasts. And would be crazy about Beyonce's boob bouncing on that video. We even talked about implants. He even said that if I'm pretty like this, it would be a nightmare if I had breasts. When my boobs grew due to a change of BC pill, he loved it. I was talking about it once and he said, laughing, hei baby take 5 boxes of that! I loved the attention he was paying to them. "Hei you have side boob now". And he would be crazy about my "cleavage" and would touch them a lot and.. all of that. I had never felt sexier.
I know, because I searched for, that the first time we went to bed he felt a bit confused about my lack of breasts. And I know he had never been with a small breasted girl before because it didn't attracted him. And I felt, really bad, the difference when my boobs shrunk to their normal size. He wouldn't pay that much attention.
Then I started hating myself. I try to look in the mirror to force myself to like my reflection but it's worse. I can't have him touching or even looking at me sometimes. And then I hate myself for doing this to myself. And I hate the fact that it has became so important and I can't understand why. I keep looking at pictures and magazines and women on the street, all the time, everyday. I keep fantasising about a weight on my chest. I'm obsessed. And totally ashame of being this obsessed about something I find so shallow. Why am I letting this ruin my life and relationship? And when I feel totally depressed I turn it against him. I keep thinking and agonizing about the things he've said and done and blame him and hate him so much. And I go home and despise him. And pick up fights. And I blame him again and again and of course he can't do nothing about it. And I despise myself for knowing I am willing to do something that's totally against my values and I can't understand why is that so important to me, why do I need it so much.
So can someone understand why do I hate him this much? Can anybody put yourself in my position and tell me I would feel the same thing as you do or, you're being a bitch, stop it? Is it really his fault or not that much? How can I forgive and forget the things he've said? We're going to lose each other, really soon.
starship
I can understand Vendetta. My boyfriend hasnt even said anything as direct as yours and i still feel angry towards him sometimes. In a conversation with some other people once someone asked if guys prefered girls with big boobs and he replied 'thats like asking if girls prefer big dicks'. He said after that he isn't bothered about breasts etc etc but even so I dwelt so much on that one tiny comment. Also when my boobs were a bit bigger (they change during the month slightly) and i was wearing a pushup bra he was really complimentary and couldnt take his eyes off them. I was probably being paranoid but instead of feeling great i felt terrible and like my normal breasts werent sexy or enough for him. I just feel overly sensitive when he mentions anything to do with breasts or even says a girl is attractive who happens to have big boobs. I usually end up overthinking what he says and then find myself becoming angry and resentful towards him because in my mind Im not as attractive to him as other women and just feel inadequate. The things your boyfriend has said are far worse and seem more frequent so personally Im not suprised how you feel. Does he know about how you feel and that you find his comments really insensitive? If he does then ims orry but hes a bit of a jerk because no decent guy would make his girlfriend hate herself. Even though Im attractive in other ways it still upsets and frustrates me that theres something other women have that I cant give him and that in that respect practically every woman he sees will be 'better' than me. If you love someone its natural to want to be the sexiest woman in the world to that person. Your guy doesnt even seem to be trying to make you feel that way so you should just let him know what he's doing to you.

I think a lot of women like to find others who are inferior to them in some way to conceal their own insecurities. Like 'sure Im overweight but at least I have boobs unlike these women'. Its why celebrities who are different will always get criticism from someone. Most women would thank their lucky stars if they woke up looking like keira knightly yet they feel the need to find some flaw to elivate their own self worth. If she had a C-cup then people would scrutinise her nose or her legs or even her feet. Its why many magazines dedicate page upon page to pictures of celebs having bad hair days/a pimple/cellulite etc. It happens in real life too. You see women looking each other up and down as if scanning for some way in which they are superior. I hate to admit but Ive probably done it myself before. Like with people my boyfriend has liked in the past Id compare every part until Id convinced myself I was better somehow. It seems ridiculous now but I like to think Ive matured since then:/


dj-bizmonkey
props to knorl, any mention of johnny depp is welcome in my book. mmmmmmm. anyway you are totally right when you say that people feel the need to tear down celebrities/attractive people (starship, you touched on this too). we love to love and love to hate those images. they captivate and disgust us simultaneously. i think kiera knightley is a fox, but we feel the need to take her apart, find her faults, tear her down, make ourselves feel better. it's that same middle school bullshit that makes you spread rumors about your best friend being a slut because she's prettier than you. blegh. it is such a reproachful behavior and it is so pervasive, even into adulthood.

also, knorl, you brought up the pressure from different industries. i think that is completely accurate. bartending, being an actress, entertainer, whatever, there is much more pressure to have bigger breasts and small breasted women in that vein have to work that much harder. not that her breasts are ultra-small, but i feel like Alicia Keys is keeping in real with her body in general. she looks like a healthy woman, not obese and not eating-disorder induced skinny.

starship, no apologies necessary, like i said, that's the genes you got. i ain't mad at ya, or any other naturally thin ladies out there. i am very jealous though. at night i dream of my teen years when i could eat cheeseburgers and milkshakes and it didn't have any visible effects. sigh. now i'm staring at a pile of almonds and grapes, trying to convince myself its the same as cheetos and snickers.

((Vendetta)) First, I thought you broke up with that guy! I totally understand if you are still feeling residual pain and inadequacy. I still deal with the shitty comments the last breast-man i dated made to me. ick. i had a friend in high school who said to me, 'dj, i'm glad you don't have boobs, because if you did you'd be too hot.' what the fuck kind of thing is that to say? similar to what your boyfriend said to you V. i mean, i know she may have been trying to give me a compliment, but sheesh.

i don't think you're being a bitch, Vendetta, but i do think you are channeling all your self-loathing and insecurities into anger towards him. he can't help what he's attracted to, he certainly didn't need to advertise it to you and your brother that you were somehow, less than, but in the end, no one can control who they fall in love with and what they may or may not find sexy. you are obviously a confident, intelligent young lady. you'd probably be shocked to find out how many people in your life envy you for whatever reason. focus on the parts of your body that you like and work it.
knorl05
v: this sounds like it's become a very unhealthy obsession for you. it seems like you've become very neurotic about breast size. i've found thinking about something too much without resolve leads to us getting stuck on what we feel is a problem. you're going to have to let this go. dj biz gave great advice about focusing on the parts of your body that you like, but also redirect your attention toward aspects of your character that you like as well. i know when i'm feeling all down about my appearance, i will shift my focus toward something more worthwhile about myself, like my interests. i find that by gaining a deeper perspective about life in general, helps me to see how ridiculous my concerns happen to be. the only reason (i believe) we obsess about these things is due to the culture in which we're raised. you dont see tribes in 3rd world countries shoving bags under their pecs, but you do see some of these women elongating their necks to be considered more attractive. what i'm saying here is that it's not your "fault" for feeling inferior or inadequate due to the size of your breasts... that's what we are dealing with in this day and age when modifying our bodies is entirely acceptable and accessible. you've just got to try to not let this control your life so much. when you catch yourself obsessing about it, or getting angry about it, redirect your attention. try to forgive yourself for getting upset about it but also forgive your man for being a breast man. we choose the people we want to be with, and if you think you could be in a healthier relationship by all means seek one out. you really need to try to get back to a healthier you, which is entirely possible, you just have to allow yourself to move past this concern.

(((dj biz)))
(((starship)))
Vendetta
Hei star, yes he knows about everything, last September I had to ask him to stop doing that because I was losing my mind. He stopped. The damage was done. And our arguings now always end up on that subject. I guess I hate him more than I love him. I've broke up with him twice, once because I've found out about those messages he sent to some girls in website Hi5 and the second time because he read my diary. And here I am, feeling like complete shit, again around him. I know he loves me to death and he says he's sorry but I dont believe his sorrys and I can't get over the fact that he loves me BUT. I don't want any "buts" in my love/sex life, I want to have it all, like I had before. We kinda live together, I've got my own place but I'm at his place all the time, we share everything, every fucking day, and I can't believe I am almost throwing away a relationship like this because I can't forgive and forget and get over it. I am going to spend some time alone as soon as I get my next paycheck, I really need that. I treat him like shit, I despise him, he feels I don't love him anymore. It's a nightmare around this house. I hate him so much for doing this to me and I hate myself more for letting that happen! ARGH!
starship
My post got eaten. grr...
In short I said that some alone time sounds like a good idea Vendetta. My boyfriend and I recently had a 2 week break (non-breast related) and hopefully it will now be easier to sort our problems out properly. I think if you worked on making yourself stronger as an individual then youd be better equiped for any thoughtless comment he might throw your way. It's easy to take things out on those closest to us when we feel helpless but it isnt healthy for you or your relationship.

Everyone has imperfections. Mine just happens to be in a body part that society has sexualised. If i feel my boyfriend is focusing too much on this and not my good parts then i just list his flaws in my head; suddenly i don't feel so bad. It's normal to be abnormal damnit
I just read that whilst Keira knightly apparently appears topless in a new movie called 'Silk' she decided to get a butt double for another film 'Domino'. Im not totally sure as I havent seen either film but i found it amusing that the feature she gets criticised over isnt the one that she's actually insecure about. I so want it to be true
knorl05
sorry lovey, but small breasts are not an imperfection. that is all.
neurotic.nelly
i have large A's, small B's, but let me tell ya'll........................flat chest or small breasts are oohhhh sooo sexy! And beautiful.... that is all biggrin.gif
newo_ikkin
same here nelly. actually it depends on the brand, but I'm usually an A.
I love the shape of mine because they're almost perfectly rounded. Lefty's a tad bigger but its not very noticeable. One of my favorite bras is an underwire and the cup is basically a layer of cloth. It drives my boy nuts when I wear it!
Small breasts rock. So do nipples. lol yay boobs!
starship
sorry for my choice of words knorl. I wasnt speaking generally about small breasts but that is the way i feel about mine right now. I dont like my boobs and i wish they were bigger. It aint gonna happen so Id rather work on accepting that theyre only a small part of me (in more ways than one) and most people have things about them theyd like to change if they could
Id love to have small Bs Nelly
Vendetta
OH fuck it! Men are such sad creatures GOD DAMMIT! How could I let myself go on his conversation or let myself go on beauty patterns that this sick society imposes to us? I've always been beautiful without them, there are plenty of guys who would love to spend their time with me and I am still agonizing about an ARGH guy's preference?? Fuck it I thought I was smarter than that!! I don't give a damn from now on, he wants boobs he can implant them on himself and I hope he marries a total flat-chested woman. I am going to celebrate my good features. Maybe someday I can wear a push-up bra or a cleavage and feel that power, maybe. If I eventually go on for surgery I'm sure he won't be by my side because I don't want to.
I know he loves me for who I am and regrets all those insensitive comments. I have to get over it. Even if, at the end of the day, I lose my interest on him, I am sure I'm going to leave him loving myself again. He's shorter than me damn it lol I prefer tall guys, never thought I would end up with a shorty. And I confess that bothers me! I can't even wear high heels, which I love! lol Ridiculous little man

Cheers girls
knorl05
in my opinion, i think it's so important to not allow our value or our worth to be too heavily influenced by the reflection we see in the mirror. or by others' opinions of our appearance. beauty is subjective. if we go around life trying to please others with our appearance, or look for approval from others, i dont think we'll ever really be happy with ourselves. our self esteem should not have superficial contingencies as far as i'm concerned. sure it's hard to let go of these very real aspects of life, of our society, our culture, the media.... but it's not impossible. even if we can just loosen the grips a little, i think we will be much better off in the long run.

(uht oh. four am. i went back on my vow. hope this post was a bit more cohesive and relevant than the other)

ps. starship. it's cool girlie. "imperfection" when used to describe very real and normal parts of our bodies rubs me the wrong way. but i totally understand what you mean that it's how you feel about yourself, and you did not intend to use it as a blanket term for small breasts. so all i can say to that is. boo. body issues suck. believe me i know. that's why these boards are so great. oh no i feel my brain trailing......... time to go beddy.
dj-bizmonkey
i've said this before, but can we ban the words 'flat-chested' from this thread for good. i mean, nobody, not even guys (except for maybe super super skinny ones) is actually flat-chested. it sounds negative, has negative connotations and i know it doesn't make anybody feel good to be called that.

knorl is right, our self-worth is not based on a reflection. imagine a world without mirrors. imagine living your whole life and never seeing your own reflection. would you be any less of the person you are now? i don't think so.

i sympathize with your frustration vendetta. i mean, if you consider yourself an independent, educated, confident young woman, then logically you shouldn't give a damn about what one man thinks of one body part. the problem is, no person on this earth is an island. there is no way to quiet the external bullshit that we are surrounded by daily. the only thing you can truly take responsibility for is yourself and your actions. no one can wield power over you unless you let them. you've got to break that destructive line of thinking. you need to insert something revealing, comforting and inspiring in its place.

more to come later.......i have to go to class.
dj-bizmonkey
ok, double post, but here we go.....

i also think that is especially hard for women who consider themselves feminists to reconcile this issue. it is frustrating because we want to be beyond this, outside of the box, not succumbing to the status quo or the wills and wants of patriarchy. i feel that i am a feminist, yet i am still plagued with the sense of inadequacy- that i don't turn heads with my tits. when you take a step back and examine it, it seems ridiculous. but when you are mired in it, there appears to be little recourse.
starship
I was reading some random little article thing ealier that made me think. I dont think her views are anything new or exceptional for me, but she expressed and made me realise the general underlying views which make me want bigger breasts (namely: boobs = power). As pathetic as a feel admitting it i think that the power that comes with cleavage is probably largely to blame for my desire
powerful boobs

Im not sure if the link will work but I found this Carolyn Latteier book quite interesting:
Breasts: the Woman's perspective
anyone read the actual book?

Just popping in to say Hi- got lots of non-breast related essays to write sad.gif

Vendetta
Yep Starship, power. That is the word that comes to my mind when I think about breasts. I love so much being a woman and honestly I really feel that something is missing.
The other day I was doing doing this commercial for tv and they dressed me up as an employee of the store, Worten. The client didn't wanted girls to show any skin so they put me on a man's t-shirt, size Small. So there I was, on grey classic pants, All-Star snickers and a T-shirt and besides my face and hair, nothing would indicate that I was a girl. I was feeling completely self-conscious that my t-shirt was just lying totally flat on me. It sucked.
This friend of mine gave me this button shirt the other day that she didn't used to wear. I was trying it on, buttoning and when I get to chest's part, there were no more buttons. It was supposed to give some cleavage. I got so pissed off and thought "I won't give up" so I grabbed my most padded bra and inserted my two silicone pads. There was no cleavage but I wasn't flat either so suddenly the shirt made sense. But I kept the whole day messing with it because the pads were allways coming off at every arm move and the bra was showing all the time because I have nothing that makes it stay on it's place. It sucked.
I wish I had that power.
neurotic.nelly
Hello All,

Stopping by again to add to the convo re: powerful boobs. Now, in the article she says it is not the boobs themselves that make her powerful, it is our societies emphasis on them. And for that very reason she is glad she has them. Who puts emphasis on them, though? Men. Boobs give women sexual power over Men, that is all. But what if you are uncomfortable with that and when you meet Men you want them to meet you without all that sexual energy, you want to be met with respect and equality. Don't reduce me to a sexual object, just yet, or I'll cut ya! wink.gif I like having smaller boobs b/c I get looked in the eye, and that is exactly what I want.

In my experience, a few of my friends with C cups and larger seemed less powerful than myself with the small B's. They were harassed constantly... and being constantly harassed brought them a certain level of anxiety about their bodies, being alone outside and inside... I never had as much fear as they did...

There are women with the boobs, that are smart and command respect, and sexually powerful, and they know how to use it and not abuse it, and not be victimized by it, and I say, word up to those women...

It is not the boobs that makes a woman powerful... it is the woman wearing them... it is not the lack of boobs that makes a woman less sexy... it is the woman wearing them... in my opinion. Confidence is sexy. I am confident about other parts of my body, like my ass, and my legs, and my arms, my eyes, and smile, my nose, and cheeks, and I have cool hair. ETA: oh yeah, DUH, I am confident about my tits too! I like having small tits, although I do feel more pressure to stay on the slim side b/c of them. Which means I want to lose about ten lbs, but I still adore em.

The boobies may be more sexually powerful to some, but I think that smaller breasted women have a freedom that larger breasted women only knew pre-puberty.
starship
Hi Nelly. I agree with all you said and as in intelligent woman i know that it's right and tell myself this stuff all the time. Which is why it drives me completely insane that I still have this issue with my breasts! No matter how illogical or against my usual beliefs it is, I still cant persuade my sub-conscious to think the same way as the rest of my brain. It's frustrating and I end up feeling like Im trying to kid myself. DjBiz hit the nail on the head with the stuff about it being especially difficult for feminists to reconcile. I think (/hope) it's something that will ease with age because Im determined to leave this world with nothing but home grown goods. Reading some of the more positive posts on here has convinced me that this is achievable (yay smile.gif). Infact Im actually looking forward to being older as my grandma has already informed me of how grateful Ill be of my wee ones in later years (or maybe she was just feeling guilty for not passing on her big booby genes :/).
My boob ambition is to go braless in the sort of outfit you see keira or the supermodels wearing- the sort where their breasts (or lack of) are blatently obvious and they dont give a damn. Might take a lot of work from where I am now but itd be worth it. two fingers to society for making me feel inadequate
neurotic.nelly
psst...hey starship, it took me a really long time before my feelings changed about my breasts, i was in agony over them from the age of ten until prolly my early twenties. that is all for now. wink.gif
karategrrl
Hi guys,

Please send healing vibes my way--it's been a(nother) challenging weekend. Read on...

Hy husband, who once was a biker (once a biker, always a biker?) bought a copy of Easy Riders magazine Saturday, and a bodybuilding magazine. I'd never seen Easy Riders. there was a pretty "out there" pic of a busty bimbo straddling a bike like she was humping it on the cover. Hmm..., I thought. I flipped through it. (I typically like to look at the hubby's men's mags, and he's fine with it--I find them kind of amusing and sometimes interesting...not my cup of tea, usually, but I like to read different stuff than Oprah some of the time.) Well..I expected t o see a couple more cheesy girls in bikinis posing with the bikes, but I was totally unprepared for what was inside. Basically, Easy Riders is half a bike mag, half Playboy. ALL the women inside (except for a couple of ads) were naked, except for shoes and bikini bottoms. There were a couple pages of jokes, and all of them except one were degrading/derogatory against women. Granted, these were not tasteful, artistic-type photos of women. I found it offensive. It's bad enough to be bombarded with these depictons of women in my daily life (not to mention having to drive by two strip clubs and a sex shop--with manikins in the window who have grossly oversized breasts--on my way to work every day), I do not need that kind of sh*t in my house! (Let me say, I have no problem with the bodybuilding mags or the men's mags...yes, they have some of the half-naked women pictures, but it's at least done in a more tasteful, almost tongue-in-cheek way.)

Well, I told the hubby I felt very uncomfortable with that kind of magazine in the house. At first, he had the angry "You're insecure...I bought it for the bikes, not for the pictures of the women...So now you're going to censor me??" reaction. Later he gave me the magazine and said I could burn it or shred it or whatever, and he'd never buy it again. He said it was just a magazine and not worth causing stress in our marriage.

I'm happy he didn't have a "deal with it" attitude, or honestly, I'd be heading for a divorce lawyer, but still, it rocked my world--it was a reminder, once again, of how freaking hard it is to be taken seriously, and how difficult women who pose for stuff like that make it for the rest of us. One of the girls had an obvious boob job. Another page of photos was of candids of people at the Sturgis bike rally--a bunch of them were pulling up their shirts (most implanted, of course), another was wearing leather chaps and a thong bending over. I find it so deeply disturbing that women actually find this "empowering." And, of course, the implanted-ness of so many of them only helps foster the image that "large is normal," as we have discussed before.

The hubby said he doesn't think the near-naked women is a big deal, and I truly don't believe he really does--to him, as to many men, this is "normal." I guess that is part of what disturbs me. He lived in Europe for awhile, and I know over there, there is nudity in TV ads and no one thinks it's a big deal. Well, I'm American and my family was pretty conservative, and being a woman who has struggled all her life to be taken seriously and to be viewed as "attractive, despite my small breasts," it just rocked my world. I mean, boyfriends and now my husband, when they are backed against the wall, will say that what they want, deep down, is the girl whose got it all ON THE INSIDE. But when it's you standing next to the slutty-looking girl with the big breasts--fake or not--they're all drooling over her, not you, and we're all supposed to be okay with that because, after all, WE are who they "really" want. Is there a straight man in the world who looks at something like Easy Riders and thinks it's as offensive as I do? Maybe they really are just a different species.

This weekend was one of those weekends I almost was saying to myself, "The hell with it! I'll just sell out and get fricking implants like everyone else and be done with it!" But I have to thank you ladies, because just to log on and read your posts makes me feel so much better. (That and listening to "Stupid Girls" by P!nk, "Just a Girl" by No Doubt and "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.)

Please send hugs my way. I need them. sad.gif

PS: I burned the magazine. That was great.
crinoline
(((((Karategrrl)))))
That's hard, girl. Men are stupid when it comes to obviously offensive, derogatory material. My boy could not for the life of him understand why I found the porn he wanted to watch ("Teen Fuck-Holes") unbearably offensive. The title is bad enough, but the film featured very young women with grotesque implants being degraded (IMO) by ugly men.
It saddens me that there are so many young women out there who are caught in the web, and who inject silicone and god knows what else into their bodies to be "pretty" and "feminine".



Here is a picture of a gorgeous young woman who has small breasts. Now, you can't tell me that she isn't beautiful or feminine. In no way is she "less than" because of the size of her breasts.
starship
((((((Karategrrl))))))
Its hard and i often feel im being oversensitive when it comes to my boyfriend and my body. I dont really like him looking at porn or 'those' type of magazines because it leaves me feeling so insecure. I know he loves me and im intelligent enough to know that decent men dont get into serious relationships based on purely looks. Yesterday he said to me that he thinks im 'pretty but not sexy' but apparently he finds my prettiness sexy and because he is in love with who I am that makes me even more sexy to him. Or something like that:/. I know he was trying to be nice and reassure me that he doesnt want anyone else but I just ended up getting upset with him. The poor guy cant win sometimes. I knew i was taking it wrong and being a bit irrational but i still felt inadequate i guess, as though theres something other girls have to offer him that i dont. Its kind of stupid because I think most men have the natural desire to see as many naked women as possible; I could have the so-called 'perfect' body and Im pretty sure he'd still be tempted by a magazine full of naked women. It's just easy to link anything which suggests that Im not sexually adequate back to my insecurities or, rather, because of my insecurities feel as though the tiniest thing indicates that im not adequate.
Maybe your husband was a little dumb karategrrl but at least once he'd realised your feelings he tried to make it right. Im sure there are plenty of jerks out there that would jeapodise their real relationship rather than ditch the smutty mags. Perhaps his initial angry reaction was because he genuinely wasnt bothered about these women and felt you was upset for something he hadnt even done in his mind. Many times Ive almost given in to surgery but there's no way I ever could- Id just be becoming part of the problem that has made my life a misery at times. Its just like taking the easy option and passing the problem onto another generation rather than dealing with it ourselves. Boobs do not maketh the woman

Ah, I ramble too much nonsense in this topic...
Vendetta
Try to comment guys around you, like his friends, your friends, actors, singers, etc.. Mine gets pissed off. It hurts doesn't it? Hell yeah.
dj-bizmonkey
(((((karategrrl)))), you are SO tough sistah, i know you can get through this. you've been a solid poster and solid supporter in this thread for a long time, i know you can work through this. men can be totally, insensitive jerks. you get upset over something that to you, is painfully and obviously offensive and his reaction is, 'huh? whut?' you just wanna shake the shit outta them! grrrrrr. i think maybe your man reacted angrily when you first confronted him because in his heart he knew that this magazine was offensive. he must be an evolved, intelligent and thoughtful man if he's with a woman like you (wink), so deep in the recesses of his man-brain he knew that you would find it upsetting. he was defensive because he got caught in the wrong and rather than immediately own up to what he did, he felt he could lash out at you and blame you for being too sensitive. it shows that he has character and integrity that he was able to come to later and be reasonable. after he was able to process everything and wasn't standing with his hand in the metaphorical cookie jar, he was able to apologize.

i know the feeling of 'you too, really?' about your man. my bf loves his porn, tons and tons of it and i try really hard not to be intimidated by it. i think starship is right when she says that men just love naked women, and lots of them. the more the better. all higher level cognitive function ceases as the blood in the brain moves down into the penis.

i was watching this terrible show, the millionaire matchmaker on bravo. now the woman on this show and the majority of the people kinda make me want to puke, but it's one of the only things on tv when i typically go work out. it's funny though, because these men will go on and on about how they want a mature, intelligent woman who knows who she is etc etc. they will specifically request women who aren't models or actresses, but young professionals. then when it comes time to make a choice, who do they go for? big-tittied bimbos who are hot hot hot. say one thing and do another, sheesh.

more later....gotta run to class!
edie52
You're all awesome! Love the pictures.

(((karategirl))) Sucks that you had to find that in your house and in your husband's possession. To echo what others have said, from his actions it sounds like he's a good egg, and he married you, so I'm sure he finds you attractive. But I know very well how hard it is to feel as though you're competing with women with such huge, exaggerated symbols of femininity, women who are so different from yourself. I usually remind myself that most of those women are probably small-breasted women like us with big bags inserted under their skin. How sexy is that??? Er, not so much. Most men I know (especially ones who are intelligent, interesting, respectful) don't think so either. (What does make me really jealous, though, is seeing someone with natural, beautiful breasts.)

My boy has been pretty good about making me feel sexy... he says things like "you're a total babe" or "I love your body." Even though I know I'm more of the big-blue-eyes cute type, or the pretty, lanky schoolteacher type- to MOST people. See that's the thing- we shouldn't feel stuck in these archetypes. Despite how I look and how most people perceive me, I (like everyone) have a sexual side and the person who I share that side with sees me as sexy, so that should be all I need, right? And that's just one side of me, too. Unfortunately, we associate being perceived as sexy by the majority of people as a way of getting power, affection, and ultimately, love.

I've never even talked to my bf about my insecurities about my body because he (and this board, and myself) has been helping me feel more secure about it. So I don't want to dwell on it with him. He may not even know that I've had such insecurities about it. I know when I see a cute small-chested chick I say to myself "Wow! She's totally hot, and she seems really secure and confident!" (I perceive this by her attitude or body language or what she's wearing). But for all I know she's gone through the same things we all have trying to accept her body. And for all I know people think the same thing about me...

Yeah. It's a lot about perception. But then there's the undeniable reality that the media and some people in our lives send us messages that we're inadequate, less womanly, what-have-you. Sigh. Le complicated.

And can I just say again that I really value you all and this thread!
neurotic.nelly
In no way, shape, or form are women with big breasts sexier than women with smaller breasts.

You cannot win in this world...some guys on the radio were talking about L. Lohan's breasts. She's got D's, and of course they were all drooling, but then they started talking shit about them because they sag. Well, DUH? Of course, they sag, she doesn't have implants, and she is a thin woman with large breasts. Those bags are gonna sag. They were laughing about it. It was so dumb. Those are the kinds of guys that are used to seeing weird looking fake breasts. I cannot stand your typical breast man. I have always liked ass and leg men b/c I find them more interesting, and they like me! wink.gif

I hate the way fake breasts look and I heard they feel weird too.

But, it's not just guys, some lesbian associates of mine oogle over large breasts too. I guess it is just a preference, but again, they are not fundamental to sexiness.

I have a friend who is AA cup, and she never wears bras, and she turns heads everywhere she goes b/c her nipples are always at attention saluting everybody that walks by. She's hott!
Vendetta
Because big breasts are more appealing, it sells. Otherwise we wouldn't be all at this thread. Sexier or not, it's a matter of personal taste, but even a guy that prefers small-breasted women droolls over a big-breasted babe. That's reality.
neurotic.nelly
Yeah, I don't really need this thread. I only care about what I think is sexy, not what some dumb guys drool over or the dumbass media. But, good luck to all the ladies that are here working this shit out. It's a bitch. wink.gif
dj-bizmonkey
ok, i'm back.....

and to respond to what Vendetta posted most recently. men are SUCH babies when it comes to criticism. women are critiqued and admonished for their bodies and the way they look from pre-pubesence on, while men (and this is changing) don't have to deal with these kind of things. as a result, i think women generally have thicker skin. this also might be a contributing factor in men's insensitivity towards our body image issues.

nelly is right. sexy women are sexy, and not because of one specific body part. and men aren't just sex-crazed morons who have no self control. but they sure can be irritating.

i'm with you edie, i think fake breasts are gross looking, but i can't help but admire and envy large, natural breasts.

i am very thankful for this forum and for all you ladies. it's refreshing to have a safe place to vent and express ourselves. *high-fives all around*
starship
You ok Vendetta?? Seem a little down and pissed off...Obviously we all have/have had issues with breasts but its good to come on here and keep grounded on the issue and remind ourselves how stupid it is to let our lives be ruled by two lumps of fat on our chest. Hope you're alrigh' x
karategrrl
Thank you, thank you to all you truly AMAZING women!!!!! Sometimes I feel this classroom of ife is just too much to deal with, and I want to play hookey. Thank you all for the pics, and for all your comments, everyone. It sounds corny maybe, but I draw strength from you all. If not for meditation and dancing and good music and this board--all things in which I find comfort against the storm of life--I swear I would lose my mind.

DJ, I'm not as strong as you--if my guy had heaps of porn, I wouldn't be able to deal.

"all higher level cognitive function ceases as the blood in the brain moves down into the penis." laugh.gif You hit the nail on the head, girl!

You know, not to make this into a man-bashing session (men have pressures and expectations too*), but sometimes I really think they just--for some godforaken reason--don't "get it," and yeah, DJ, you could just shake them. I mean, to us ladies it's plain as day, and they're like, "huh?" I actually had a physical reaction when I saw Easy Riders--literally sick to my stomach, lightheaded, muscles wobbly. Here we are, trying like hell to try and be understood, to make them somehow empathize and understand. But they usually don't. And we must then put up with them the way they are--with stacks of porn or whatever. To be fair, maybe they feel they must put up with us, too--our sensitivity, insecurities, always wanting to talk, etc.

"I usually remind myself that most of those women are probably small-breasted women like us with big bags inserted under their skin." Edie, so right. So right.

Anyway, an update: We talked. It helped a little. I would feel better if he didn't act like the simple act of talking out a problem was like having root canal surgery. I said what I wanted to say, but I don't know if he really understands. <sigh....>

Love you all! I wish I were rich--I'd fly you all to some tropical location and we'd have the first-ever Small Bust Conference! laugh.gif


*A very good look into the lives of men is "Self-Made Man" by Norah Vincent. This woman spent a year and a half living undercover as a man and wrote a book about the experience. Fascinating.
newo_ikkin
You girls seriously rock my socks off.
I really need to start being more selfish when it comes to how I look at myself and stop the comparisons, because you guys are making me realize that you really can't change the world/society/men, and all you can control is yourself. Well, sometimes. But why focus on things that are out of your control? Anyway, I know what I'm capable of and that some of my favorite qualities I see in myself are outstanding compared to others and I'm pretty proud of that.

My guy gets really defensive when I bring up porn. Like if we're going to be apart for a while and he's talking about how it'll be tough to go without sex for that long and I make the joke of "you'll be alright, you've got your computer", he comes back with "I don't even look at porn anymore." (almost angrily) So when I was looking up movie times all those websites must have magically appeared in the drop-down menu, huh? The lying gets to me more than anything -- just tell me you prefer brunettes with tits! lol I guess I just don't like the fact that I'm so easy to replace.

karategrrl I'm so up for a tropical conference! My spring break is at the end of March. Just tell me where!
edie52
A tropical conference would be a blast! I wonder if people around would notice what we all had in common! (Probably.)

Regarding porn: I once asked my boyfriend if he looked at it (since we'd been apart and all) and he said no. I was like "phu-leeze!" so he admitted that of course he had watched it before, but he didn't really like it. I don't know whether to believe him or not, but in any case he's certainly not a porn fiend so it's not a problem. I sort of believe him because he truly is a feminist and he seems to have a strong preference for very natural or even unusual/unconventional looking women. But even knowing all that if I found a magazine or video in his possession that featured women with big breasts it would probably sting. A lot.

knorl05
i believe the porn debate to be never-ending. i used to frequent the porn thread and share my thoughts on the matter but i'll spare everyone in here my perspective. especially because it seems to be in limbo due to the fact i respect, or rather i can appreciate, both sides of the coin.

either way. karategrrl so sorry about the upsetting situation with your man, but i think it's awesome he showed you respect in the end and gave up the mags. i really do think men just sometimes dont think about that stuff. pretty women are saturated over everything that men buy, because advertising companies know that's what men respond to. i truly believe like dj biz said that since he's with you that indicates the quality of his character, and i dont think he got the mags to oogle over the naked chics in it. i do understand how upsetting it is though because it can feel like a slap in the face, as though he should just know better than to bring something like that into the house. especially if the pics were so offensive to you that they made you physically ill.

i'm beginning to feel sorry for men who need or enjoy overt sexuality shoved down their throats, it's rather pathetic to me. this is by no means a reference to your man karategrrl.. just thoughts i'm having on the big breasts vs small breasts = sexual vs nonsexual. i love the point that edie made about most of the women with fake breasts are probably small chested women naturally. it is *typically* not normal or natural to have huge mammaries if the woman herself is not also on the larger side. and the fact that any of us with smaller boobs think that we are somehow not the norm, shows how trends do not tend to reflect real life. breasts have become objects, material gains for those who want to look more flashysexyostentatious (for the most part). yes it's awful to feel like we pale in comparison to anyone, regardless of breast size, but that is unfortunately on us whether or not we allow it to affect how we see ourselves. that feels rather cold as i type it but i dont mean it to be. i've just come to realize there are always going to be sexier women than me out there, smarter women, wittier women, more talented women... shit, i've come across many of them in the bust lounge.. and that's just how it is. i want to see women genuinely feel good about themselves and whether or not i agree with their choices, that's not for me to decide. sure i may sometimes feel inadequate or uncomfortable with my breasts, and sure it annoys the hell out of me that there are so many shallow people in the world who play into the objectification of the female form... but as long as i got me busties i'm good. meaning. you ladies really do rock. oh no. six am. yawn.
Vendetta
Hei star, I haven't been so good lately, no... I kinda came out from myself and took a deep look... and what the fuck? I'm 24 years old, i've never had real problems about my breasts before, what's going on? It has affected my whole life, you wouldn't believe how. I understood it started seriously after my breasts had shrunk again, that new-bc-pill thing. I just couldn't deal with it. The padded bras didn't work anymore on a "cleavage", the bikini didn't look so good anymore, I had to give away all the fancy stuff I bought, people stopped telling me I was more womanly and I didn't get any of the attention my bf gave them then. I had the most amazing self-esteem season in my life, I was feeling outstanding and my sex drive was furious. They were pretty small but it did all the difference. It's awesome to actually have some breasts. I just couldn't deal with it. So I started being obsessed. I've switched pills 3 or 4 times and you can imagine what a hormone cocktail i've been throught. I'm so ashamed of that. I've done everything a person can't do, knowing I was becoming totally obsessed and knowing perfectly where it would end up. I almost threw away a relationship. I'm suffering from low self-esteem, not because I have small breast but because I'm so unhappy with them. I can't believe I can actually put up so much importance on that. I hate dressing up, I hate taking a bath, I hate looking in the mirror and sex is not so good anymore. And if guys have preferences, I have preferences too and I do respond to breasts on other women. I can't respond to mine.
I've been putting my life together lately, I quit my 1 year job because I spent 9hrs per day completely alone with a computer, and we all know what happens when we spend too much time alone with ourselves. So changes will be good. I know I'm going to be fine. I'm just so ashame of myself. "I stay up and clean the house, at least i'm not drinking, run around just so I don't think about thinking" - Amy Winehouse
starship
On the tube today alongside two teenage boys oggling over page 3 (not sure if youre familiar with the british phenomena that is page 3- way for naive pumped up barbies to get into a cheap tabloid paper). They were discussing the girl and when i heard one say "I dont like her, her tits are too small" naturally my nosey side got the better of me. I did a subtle lean to read the wall map manouver only to be confronted with what must have been at least large C-cups! Blimey. If they think that's small Id dread to think what theyd make of me (not that the little perves would would ever have the honour of seeing me naked but still). It kind of worries me that young boys are getting an increasingly distorted impression of what women look like. How the hell are those two going to react when they finally get their grubby little hands on a real woman. I feel even more sorry for the girls who have been left with the job of educating them on reality. The media is cultivating a generation of morons

anyway...

Im up for the tropical conference too!! would be refreshing to be able to wear a bikini with pride and not feel like a complete goose in a much dreaded beach scenario smile.gif

And men definately do NOT get it. I usually use the ole' penis simile to bring it home a bit. Not that my guy has any problem in that department wink.gif but Ive tried asking him to imagine if he had a 1 inch willy and the world was full of calvin klein posters, a sweeping fashion trend of men wearing spandex pants, changing rooms with porn-star-esque companions, other 1inchers getting plastic stuffed up there through sheer shame etc etc. I think it makes it easier for men to understand because (no bitter sexism intended) theyre usually far better at sympathising with themselves than anyone else...

(((Vendetta)))- It probably made it more of an issue for you because you had bigger breasts for a while and then they were taken away. I guess the grass musta been greener for once. Sounds like youre making lots of changes in your life though which can only be a good thing smile.gif. Perhaps if you're happier in other areas you wont be so fixated with your boobs anymore. I tend to find that if Im having a bad time in other parts of my life then my breast issue will seem 10x worse. I have no idea why :/. It's like I gather up all the negative things for one big outburst of self pity. ok im rambling now. the moral of the story is..youre still the intelligent, strong and wonderful person that you was before and there's so much more to life than how you look (which im sure is completely gorgeous anyway). Also, the pills probably arent helping much. Mood swings from those pesky things have driven me to cosmetic surgery websites more times than Im willing to admit. keep positive and stay strong x
Im always envious of women with naturally ample breasts but theres lots of other things i look at on other women and admire too. When looking at other people I usually tend to look at the positive things and it was only recently I realised that plenty of others probably do the same to me too. Okay, so im not likely to get a passer by admire my wonderful breasts but I bet Ive had a few envious looks shot towards my booty before...

I only popped in to mention the misinformed adolescents :/...
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.