Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Our Bodies, Our Hells
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85
karategrrl
QUOTE(knorl05 @ May 6 2008, 06:22 PM) *
but i do know that those who go through with the procedure are not individuals that i can relate to on a deeper level, so i modify my interaction accordingly.


Me too.
dj-bizmonkey
QUOTE(knorl05 @ May 6 2008, 01:22 PM) *
oboi. i still take the same stance. it's fine for others who feel they need it, but not for me. do i judge women who get implants? not so much. but i do know that those who go through with the procedure are not individuals that i can relate to on a deeper level, so i modify my interaction accordingly.


me three. my problem is not the surgery itself, but that the society we live in practically demands it of women. not only implants, but facelifts, botox, collagen injections, liposuction etc. we have to get to the root of the problem and not just treat the symptoms.

i'm not sure that i don't judge women who get implants. i'm pretty sure i do. it's not fair or righteous, but i have to admit it. i think they look silly and fake. i also think that i makes it that much more difficult to be a small-breasted woman walking around in america. maybe that's not the most popular viewpoint and it's certainly not the most open-minded and accepting, but i have to own up to how it makes me feel.

i think every concept in this world is subject to moral gradients. we all decide where our cut-off points are, but there are no absolutes. case in point, i don't like the idea of implants and i think they are unnatural, unhealthy and counter-productive. but i, like karategrrl, would be happy to preform some sort of procedure that would naturally make my breasts bigger. i'm not exactly taking the moral high-ground. in my mind it seems to be silicone=fake, unnatural, and natural=good. even beyond implants, i wouldn't discount the possibility of getting some work done when i get older. maybe i'll have a waddle i want to do away with or something. my good friend works as a secretary in a plastic surgeon's office. she always tells me, 'never say never, one day you may feel just the opposite.'

we are social creatures. everyone one wants to be accepted by some one and anyone that tries to tell you different is selling something. but i like what anarch said about constructing your own environment to reflect your own convictions. i suppose that could be interpreted as what women who get plastic surgery are doing. in their world, appearance is important, it is more important than overall wellbeing. it is the trump card. so they make sure it's the best it can be.
honeybunch
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 3 2008, 04:05 PM) *
I don't need the media or society to tell me that something's "wrong" with me, I just need to leave the house and take a walk around to look at every other women and figure out that they have something that I don't. Some small busties don't care about it, others do. Some women feel incomplete, others don't. We're not all the same. So why should people criticize those who choose to do something for theirselves, if there's an option nowadays? Not everyone wants to have double D's on their chest and not everyone is stupid enough to do it. Some people just want to have "something", to feel complete. So why shouldn't we respect some people's options?

That's very true. I don't know why people always blame it on TV. It's pretty obvious when I go out to see that most women even skinnier ones usually have bigger breasts than me. I'm not sure why people think I want big breasts, either. I've experienced D cup, and I didn't like it. I just want to be average-a C. I want to be able to wear a regular tank top and have cleavage.
neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(knorl05 @ May 6 2008, 11:22 AM) *
ps. neurotic nelly. i think that's the point strongirl was making... we all do have to duck stones frequently simply being women. why not, instead of perpetuate the stonings, try to make life a little easier on eachother as women. knowing that we all do endure similar struggles and realize part of the intention of being a feminist (IMHO) is to encourage the liberation and empowerment of women of all social and cultural backgrounds.

I hear what you are saying, and I agree. I think the point I was eluding to was more along the lines of this: if one is having self esteem issues around breast size that is persistent and obsessive, this is something that one should look at because ultimately the obsession is only a symptom of a larger self esteem issue and getting breast implants will not resolve them. It is so sad and dangerous to see women with self esteem issues or image issues with expendable income go under the knife again, and again, and again.
Just look at lil kim, and the cat lady, or Michael Jackson for that matter.
I was trying to say that women should take responsibility for their emotional issues around body image issues because women and feminists are not always nice and liberating and empowering towards eachother, and I'd like to promote strength as a feminst as well as the other qualities that you pointed out knorl. That's all I got right now. Adios!
karategrrl
"my problem is not the surgery itself, but that the society we live in practically demands it of women..we have to get to the root of the problem and not just treat the symptoms...i think every concept in this world is subject to moral gradients. we all decide where our cut-off points are, but there are no absolutes. case in point, i don't like the idea of implants and i think they are unnatural, unhealthy and counter-productive. but i, like karategrrl, would be happy to preform some sort of procedure that would naturally make my breasts bigger. i'm not exactly taking the moral high-ground. in my mind it seems to be silicone=fake, unnatural, and natural=good. even beyond implants, i wouldn't discount the possibility of getting some work done when i get older. maybe i'll have a waddle i want to do away with or something. my good friend works as a secretary in a plastic surgeon's office. she always tells me, 'never say never, one day you may feel just the opposite."

I agree. I feel women are treating the symptoms, not the underlying self-esteem issues, when they get many, many kinds of procedures done. And the growing availability and popularity of such procedures only perpetuates the "fix my body, not my attitude about my body" behavior. And yes, I guess I am being something of a hypocrite when I say that, because I wear makeup, dye my hair, etc. but none of those things are, to me, extreme--certainly not as extreme as having my skin cut open and having foreign objects permanantly inserted into my chest, permanent scars, and living with the constant knowledge that those bags of saline, silicone, soybean oil or whatever could at any time rupture, move, or cause a host of other problems.

"i'm not sure that i don't judge women who get implants. i'm pretty sure i do. it's not fair or righteous, but i have to admit it. i think they look silly and fake. i also think that i makes it that much more difficult to be a small-breasted woman walking around in america. maybe that's not the most popular viewpoint and it's certainly not the most open-minded and accepting, but i have to own up to how it makes me feel."

I agree. What upsets me most about the whole issue is the overall trend--I find it astonishing how many women actually do this, and that by doing so, it makes it more "normal" to be so altered. I like what DJ said so well:

"in their world, appearance is important, it is more important than overall wellbeing."

This is true. Neurotic.nelly brought up a good point when she mentioned the cat lady and such (who looked tons better before all her surgeries). I've read articles where surgeons say they have clients who are never satisfied--once they get something "fixed," their dissatisfaction focuses elsewhere on their body, and they're back for more surgery.
Vendetta
Why does everyone assume that if a woman wants implants, she's trying to fit a mold or being affected by society or whatever? I don't live in the states, I don't know if pressure there is bigger than here in Portugal, but never in my whole life I have tried to fit some social mold. Why is that so difficult to believe that some women just want breasts for theirselves? We can't blame the tv for everything. We dye our hair, shave our legs, spend lots of money on lotions and cellullite gel and all that crap to feel better about ourselves, and are you going to blame the tv for all that money spent? Isn't all that money worth it when you have the best laid of your life because you feel like a princess on that special day? Why are breasts different for that matter, if for some women they are important for their womanhood or sexuality? Sexuality is in our minds. That playmate shown here is really smokin' hot and I do believe women like her should appear more but I just wish I had half of her breast tissue. I should be happy because I don't need to wear a bra but no, I'm unhappy because I CAN'T wear one. Is that a crime that I just want to be able to wear a bra, someday?
neurotic.nelly
Vendetta, I do understand what you are saying. That just fucking sucks for you!!! Do you have expendable income to spend on that kind of surgery? Would you be willing to go through with it if you did? If not, then try focusing on the things you like about yourself. Another way to look at things, is that, if you ever got pregnant your breasts would grow to probably a b cup or something!! And they might stay that way afterwards. I have also heard of women growing in their late 20's and 30's. I swear mines are still growing, which does make me happy.

The media/society/culture probably effects a lot of what most people do, feel, say, behave etc. What I like about your post is that you are taking responsibility for how you feel about your breast situation. It sounds like you've thought about it critically. At the end of the day, it's you and your breasts.

honeybunch
QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Apr 29 2008, 01:26 PM) *
yes.ummm, yes and yes.

as to the period question, there is absolutely no reason why you should have to have your period every month, every three months or even every three years. amenorrhea/pregnancy are the more 'natural' states of women. if we were living back in the day, we would have been pregnant in our teens (maybe only a year or two after menarche) nursing for 2 to 4 years (which also suppresses ovulation/menses) and then probably as soon as we started ovulating again, we'd get pregnant. we have this enormous store of oocytes but we don't have the time to have them all fertilized and raised up. i've talked to countless gynos about this issue because i HATE getting my period. when bc was first invented, doctors modeled it after a 21-day cycle, which was fairly arbitrary as the follicular phase of most women is highly variable. they installed the time for "period" to make women feel not only more comfortable and natural, but also is 'proof' that you aren't pregnant. the endometrial lining you shed when you take your sugar/placebo pills is not actually a true menses, just the semblances of one. you also aren't ovulating at all, so you aren't shedding an egg. everyone has to pick what they are most comfortable with, and i had concerns about it at first too. i tell you what, i am never looking back though. there are also some preliminary reports that being on birth control for 5 years and then going off of it can significantly increase your fertility. maybe because you aren't shedding eggs? i dunno, because part of the problems in fertility at later ages is the degredation of follicle quality over time.

Yep, that's true. Heck, in some cultures women nurse for up to 7 years with no periods (lucky them), wean, have a few periods, get pregnant and nurse, and the cycle starts all over again. It's probably abnormal from a biological perspective for us to have monthly cycles. It's only bad to not have periods if you have the female athlete triad (starvation diet, too much exercise, etc).


I talked to my SO about my breast issues. He thinks I'm crazy lol. He says he doesn't get it. I don't get how he can't get it-he's a man, and I thought of all people he would understand how bigger breasts are more popular but I guess not.
karategrrl
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 11 2008, 08:56 PM) *
Why does everyone assume that if a woman wants implants, she's trying to fit a mold or being affected by society or whatever? I don't live in the states, I don't know if pressure there is bigger than here in Portugal, but never in my whole life I have tried to fit some social mold. Why is that so difficult to believe that some women just want breasts for theirselves? We can't blame the tv for everything. We dye our hair, shave our legs, spend lots of money on lotions and cellullite gel and all that crap to feel better about ourselves, and are you going to blame the tv for all that money spent? Isn't all that money worth it when you have the best laid of your life because you feel like a princess on that special day? Why are breasts different for that matter, if for some women they are important for their womanhood or sexuality? Sexuality is in our minds. That playmate shown here is really smokin' hot and I do believe women like her should appear more but I just wish I had half of her breast tissue. I should be happy because I don't need to wear a bra but no, I'm unhappy because I CAN'T wear one. Is that a crime that I just want to be able to wear a bra, someday?



Hey Vendetta, Sorry you are feeling frustrated.

To clarify, I think we are all affected by others' opinions and the culture in which we live to some degree. I mean, if a handful of us were to be shipped off to some remote tribe in Africa, I'd bet anything that after a few years, we'd all have at least something inherent to that culture--a lip plate, some tribal tattoos, grass skirt, etc. wink.gif I truly understand your frustration, because, hey, I have often wished the same thing--to have something to put in a bra. However, to clarify I honestly think if we lived in a world where small breasts were perceived as more "womanly," "sexy," etc. than large breasts, for example, lots more women would be having reduction surgery than implant surgery. We could say that about lots of things--if grey hair wasn't largely considered "old-looking," no one would want to dye their hair. If leg hair was largely considered sexy, most women would not shave it. that's all I'm saying.

I have mixed feelings about the playmate photos. On one hand, I do like seeing a smaller-breasted woman portrayed in a way that is "as sexy as" women with larger chests. However, I do overall feel that porn is at least somewhat degrading to women, in the sense of women being portrayed as a "product" for men to rate/ogle/masturbate over/use. (We've discussed this before.) But my feelings aside, thanks for sharing, because it is good to know what's out there if for no other reason than to be a better informed person.

I wll leave you all with this:

I was looking over a swimsuit catalog with someone at work. I was looking at all the suits I "cannot wear" because they have no padding/would not be flattering to my breasts. She has very large breasts, and commented on all the suits she cannot wear b/c the tops have no support/underwire. "My breasts fall out under the bottom otherwise," she said. Just goes to show, we all have our clothing issues when it comes to breast size--not just us smaller ladies. smile.gif

Hope everyone has a great day!
Vendetta
I won't blame the media for feeling the way I feel about my breasts. If I had been pretty happy about myself for 23 years, I won't blame the tv for feeling like this at 24 years old. It's all about me, no one has ever told me I had a problem, in fact, people usually find me attractive so I guess my flat chest is only a problem for me. I will have the money for surgery right on this year, I'm pretty sure and I had thought about it long enough to know I'd rather spend my energy on lingerie stores than on trying to convince myself that it's okay that I'll never know what it's like to have breasts. No, it's not okay. I wear the same AA Cup size as I did when I was 11 so I guess that at 24 it's ridiculous to be expecting them to grow. At pregnancy, it can happen both ways: they can grow and stay or they can deflate after breastfeeding which I think it is the most probable situation as I know and had seen and read about a million A or AA cup women. I only plan to get pregnant at sometime near 30's so I really don't want to wait that long to know.
I don't want to wear a DD cup on my chest and have all men turning their heads on me. They turn their heads already and my supposed breasts are only two A cup silicone inserts. I just DO NOT want to have supposed breasts. I don't want to have to take my breasts off at the end of the day. I don't want to come out from a lingerie store bringing the panties and leaving the bra. I don't want to dress up for a dinner with my boyfriend and feel totally ridiculous in front of him because I grew up one or two cup sizes in 10 minutes just to fit that special top. And I want to feel womanly when I'm in bed with him, without having him being confused if that is my nipple ring or just my ribcage. If I have to spend a huge amount of money and take some health risks, I will. I will choose the best surgeon for me and get informed of everything I should do and shouldn't do, and do it right. I'm not trying to fit some social mold, I'm trying to fit the image I have of myself. I see myself as a very feminine, very sexual, very powerful woman with body and brains and it pisses me off that I have to wear lots of padding to fit my powerful mold. I'm a sucessful imobiliary agent, I've got my own house and car and pay for my own bills, I pay for my own photography classes and I photograph beautiful bare breasts every week, I've got a band and play guitar bass in it so I'm active and smart, I'm not shallow and I believe my reasons to want to have that surgery are pretty fair. I'm not some dumb blonde bimbo who wants to go from a B cup to a DD cup for wrong reasons.
Vendetta
honestly think if we lived in a world where small breasts were perceived as more "womanly," "sexy," etc. than large breasts, for example, lots more women would be having reduction surgery than implant surgery.

I have nothing against small breast, in fact I do prefer smaller to bigger but if bras, and cleavage and tops and bikinis are womanly stuff, why would anyone in a parallell world want to reduce their breasts to an AA cup size like mine so that they couldn't wear any of those? Women have breasts, so I can't suppose what it would be if we didn't. Where would the man-woman difference be? I really could forget about the bras and stuff and wear t-shirts all the time, but why would I want that?
honeybunch
Vendetta, here's a (((HUG)))

I also feel like my body doesn't match my personality. I feel very sexual, but I don't feel like my breasts represent that. I don't want to be big breasted, I just wanted to have enough for some kind of cleavage. I'd be happy with a full B or C cup. I was a D cup once, and that was too much for me.

ETA: Not to mention it's VERY tricky trying to where some sexy tops with small breasts. My breasts don't sag at all, and I'd be too afraid of a mishap.

I still think there would be male-female differences. There's still going to be a difference in shape. And there are plenty of other differences between men and women besides breasts.
karategrrl
Okay, I tried.

Vendetta, sounds like you have thought through the implant option very seriously. Get them.

(Just to clarify, I'm being straightforward, not bitchy--emotion doesn't come across well in typing.)
anaisnin
hi everyone, im a lurker but new poster.. wink.gif

i'm a small breasted girl myself..a cup, but the rest of me is small.

i was wondering if anyone had bra recs for a cups? i'm opposed to getting flatout PADDING in bras, i feel like it makes my boobs look really odd+false advertising. however, i like slightly "thicker" bras with underwire.. what brands do you girls prefer?

karategrrl
Hey, anaisnin, welcome!!!!!

About bras, you may try searching old posts for some recommendations, as many of us have recommended bras to each other in the past. Where you are located is good to know, since stores vary.

I'm in the U.S. Personally, I have not had luck with anything bought online (including a recent order from aronsales.com). What works for me--and are exactly what you describe--are "teen" girls' bras from Target: underwire, with a BIT of padding for shape and no nipple show-through. They come in black, white, beige and pink, and usually some cute prints, and also strapless or convertible-strap versions. The down side is, they are kind of plain--no lace, no embellishments. The upside is, they are CHEAP!--under 10 dollars apiece. I like them for work under knit tops--good everyday staples. since you describe yourself as small, I bet this kind of bra might fit you well.

I used to LUUUV "Olga Petites" but they discontinued the line--that was about 12 years ago, BUT I did a little research and found that Olga may have started the line up again. Those bras were beautiful--lace and racy colors and all--and just our size. I usually don't shop in dept. stores, but I think I am going to drop in my nearest Kohl's or Macy's and check out the bras soon and see what the latest developments are. I think Kohl's sells the Olga brand.

Others on this site have had luck in Urban Outfitters and www.figleaves.com, and some other sites. You can check our old posts.

WELCOME!!!!! Hugs to you and your beautiful petite boobies!

Honeybunch, just curious--how on Earth were you once a D cup and now (I assume) an A? Oral contraceptives?

PS: I take it you are an Anais Nin fan? One of my fave quotes of all time is from Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are."
Vendetta
Exactly lol I've got the same question: D cup to A cup? I was an A cup for 5 months, due to contraceptive pill, but they shrunk again. The best 5 months of my sex life!
karategrrl
Hey, ladies,

Some interesting articles:


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23924535/

http://www.glamour.com/health/implants/subindex

http://www.glamour.com/sexmen/articles/200...s?currentPage=1


I don't endorse or oppose any particular thing said in them, I just thought it was interesting and informative reading and thought I'd share.
dj-bizmonkey
QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Mar 20 2008, 02:10 PM) *
here are some of my favorite websites, though admittedly some are expensive. i checked each of them for you, gogosgirl and they all carry multiple styles in a 38A. i've actually found that ordering online, even from hanes, or victoria's secret, it's alot easier to find the right size (if you've been fitted and you know what you are). i guess that's because they have a whole warehouse and not just a storeroom. vendetta, you might like some of these sites too:

http://www.knowknockers.co.uk/

http://www.aronsales.com/storefrontprofile...aspx?sfid=48267 this website has tons to choose from and they are very reasonably priced ($9.99 and up)

http://www.lulalu.com/

i hope that helps! there is also barenecessities.com, but they are sometimes hit or miss. good luck, hope you post in here again!


here ya go anaisin.

i am with you on not liking padding, however. victoria secret of all places was carrying an italian brand called 'intimissi' or something like that. they have these chic, unlined silky bras that can be converted to be halter bras as well. i absolutely love them and they were only ~$15. i bought four bras from the aronsales.com site, but they were slightly padded. shopping at VS online you can search for unlined bras and they have a few good choices. in the past, calvin klein and banana republic had great soft cotton bras with underwire. that has always been my preference. i want a little lift and shape, otherwise, my breasts just disappear! good luck and welcome!

vendetta- living in this modern world and being a liberated woman is all aboutchoice and the freedom to make the right choices for ourselves unencumbered. we have all echoed your desire to be bigger. karategrrl and i have both said that if there was a natural, easy way to make our boobs grow, we would do it. i find surgery scary, i don't like the end the result or the 10 year maintenance. but if it weren't so scary, so fake looking or so expensive, i might opt for it. i guess i worry because your posts sound very defensive and i wonder who you are trying to rationalize your choice to-- us or yourself? if you think surgery is your best option and it will truly improve your quality of life, then i have no right to stand in your way. i'm sorry if we made you feel guilty for wanting to go through with it.....that being said, the cons still outweigh the pros for me personally. i empathize with alot of what you are saying because, deep down, i feel the same way too. i feel less than. i feel less of a woman. i am left wanting more and feeling incomplete.

the harsh reality is that breasts are a symbol of feminity and female sexuality, regardless of whether they are the object of fetishism or simply utilitarian baby feeders. they are still a signal that a woman is sexually viable. however, as i've said before, i think we need to get to the root of the problem, which is that people, especially in the west, have constructed a very narrow paradigm in which to be a woman. there is only one way to be 'feminine' and 'sexy' in mainstream society. we need to expand that paradigm and carve out space for different kinds of femininity. i liken it our mainstream view of sex, which is vastly heteronormative. we assume that sex means penetration of a vagina by a penis. we view sex in this very narrow corridor. that is changing, as is our dichotomous view of gender. i think that the feminine ideal can be expanded in the same way.

(((busties)))
anaisnin
nice, i'm going to the mall today so i'll check out some of those that you guys have listed..i'm definitely in this maidenform rut, lol. they have a victorias secret, urban outfitters, etc. the target idea is good too. i work nextdoor to a target so i'm always wandering in there on my break looking for random crap to buy, haha. i'm still scared to buy something online b/c i'm soooo picky.

i know mainstream society is different in the us, but i have to say that the guys i've known (i don't think they were lying!!) have said they were not boob men. that they were more into boobs boobs when they were 13. then it all became about legs and butt. whenever i feel insecure i just pretend i'm a rich flatchested model who can lilt around around in little dresses and not give a damn.. it sounds silly, but little images like that i think have kept my self esteem regarding my boobs from going to s***. i'm also worried b/c my mom was one of those people who growing up (when it was the best age to have big boobs), was completely flat and then as soon as she was in her late thirties, her boobs grew, and then by fourty she was a DD!

anyways, if you have boobs that are a good shape and pretty nipples, then chin up!!
Vendetta
I'm probably defending myself from myself, and I've thought about it so it's funny you've mentioned it. I hate to think of myself as shallow cause I know I'm not and hate to be put in the same bag as the standard implanted woman. I think that, as it is about everything, there are two sides of the story: the wrong reasons for getting implants and the right reasons. I've seen implanted full B cups and they look adorably natural, just the size I need to be the full grown, mature, powerful and extremely sexual woman I feel within. It's a lot of money and some risks, but we all take risks in life and we only live once and some people are gonna notice the difference and a lot of them will judge me wrong. But the people I care about and care for me, will understand my point of view.
I just had suffered so much in life and I'm only 24 years old, if there's anything that can be done to make me a happier person, I will do it. I know myself in therapists and I know myself in anti-depressants, I know myself living each day at a time and I know what I've achieved in life. It's time for me to be happy without any buts.
anaisnin
i have to say though..i've had to go dress shopping lately and a lot of the cuts of dresses (empire) i feel like are made for women to show off boobage and then completely cover the lower part of her body. if i wore one of those out i'd look like a total stick. it's depressing.
karategrrl
QUOTE(anaisnin @ May 13 2008, 05:22 PM) *
i have to say though..i've had to go dress shopping lately and a lot of the cuts of dresses (empire) i feel like are made for women to show off boobage and then completely cover the lower part of her body. if i wore one of those out i'd look like a total stick. it's depressing.


I'm personally not a big fan of the the empire-waist/babydoll trend. It's breast-flattering but makes even a stick like me look preggers. Since I sew, I've actually bought a couple and then took in all the gathers that made them look all puffy.
dj-bizmonkey
vendetta- i most certainly do NOT think that you are shallow and i would never lump you into the same category as the fake-tanned excercise models in karategrrl's magazine. this is a place for you to work through all of your misgivings, worries and frustrations. you should be proud of yourself for being able to name your issue with temerity and forethought.

i'm wearing an empire-waist/long shirt thingy with leggings today. my advisor said, 'ooo, i need a shirt like that, that's a maternity shirt!' (she is pregnant) ouch. they are flattering in the boob department, and since i'm starting to get a little belly, it's nice to hide it under all that fabric.
karategrrl
"Vendetta- i most certainly do NOT think that you are shallow and i would never lump you into the same category as the fake-tanned excercise models in karategrrl's magazine. "

I never would have, either.

"i'm wearing an empire-waist/long shirt thingy with leggings today. my advisor said, 'ooo, i need a shirt like that, that's a maternity shirt!' (she is pregnant) ouch. they are flattering in the boob department, and since i'm starting to get a little belly, it's nice to hide it under all that fabric."

Ouch is right! My friend is pregnant and recently bought 2 of those tops in the junior's dept. wink.gif
Vendetta
I still have infected feelings for my boyfriend. And I'm starting to believe they won't go away, ever. Our relationship has gotten so bad I don't even want to have sex anymore. Having sex is hell when you're not feeling sexy at all. And, as an extremely sexual couple we were, things are getting hard to handle with.
I just can't forgive and forget about the things he've said. Probably because they were the spark to my problem, and my problem isn't over. I'm not contemplating surgery because of him of course, in fact, I do believe surgery will make things even worse for us (or for me towards him). I believe I don't even want him to be near me by that time.
I know he loves me to death bla bla and I really have no doubt that I turn him on and the guy wants to marry me and have kids and all of that... So my lack of boobs never really was a problem to him, I know that. But... Besides some insensitive comments he made cause he knew I was confident, there are things I'm being obsessive with that I know they don't make sense. Like the attention he gave to my 5-months-A-cups that it's impossible to give now because I can't fake cleavage anymore, or that he prefered them to the real me. Of course he did but it hurts like hell. Well, in the end, I can't forget he's a boob man that fell in love with a small boobed girl and was just being himself. So I guess I hate that part of "himself". Now I can't get undressed in front of him and sex is hell to me. And I can't expect a guy to understand that my libido died because I feel unsexy.
Never thought I would end up this way. Never even thought that small breast support groups existed and that I would end up in one. I had never even thought I would have serious self-esteem issues, to the point I would be considering surgery. But then I think I could never continue living situations like running into every bathroom to take off the silicone pads before intimacy or having a boyfriend asking me why in the hell was I wearing two bras, without having the button "something's wrong" turned on. I've got a really nice turn off button when I don't want to think about something, but nothing lasts forever. And this wouldn't. When my lovely ex-boyfriend once said "you always had problems about your breast size" I was so surprised because I had never in 3 years made a single comment about them. But then, he saw me wearing two bras and saw me growing two cup sizes every morning so that was obvious. And I started thinking about all the embarassing stuff I've done in my life. I was 17 years old when I went out for a night with two bras and with cotton inserted in one of them. I ran into a public garbage to throw away the silicone pads when I was starting with my ex-boy, drunk, just to be looking for them all over the place on the next morning. I had a silicone pad falling off the bra several times on intimate moments. I kept checking them over and over again on night outs, not having fun. I used to smoke some weed and have a "night with myself" on the mirror putting up the padded bra again because "something didn't look right". Those were the kind of stuff I used to do to feel the sexy-as-hell I used to feel. So, was I happy with myself? No. I just wasn't thinking about it.
honeybunch
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 13 2008, 08:29 AM) *
Honeybunch, just curious--how on Earth were you once a D cup and now (I assume) an A? Oral contraceptives?

Milk engorgement. I woke up one morning and I must have been a D-cup if not more. I was spilling out of my bras. The next day I shrunk a little, and bought some 36c bras which were still too small and my boobs were still hanging out. My breasts were rock hard, and it looked like I had an awful boob job.
karategrrl
QUOTE(honeybunch @ May 14 2008, 01:25 PM) *
Milk engorgement. I woke up one morning and I must have been a D-cup. I was spilling out of my bras. The next day I shrunk a little, and bought some 36c bras which were still too small and my boobs were still hanging out. My breasts were rock hard, and it looked like I had an awful boob job.


WOW. What moms go through! I remember, I used to wish they could replicate the milk production hormone so I could get injections of it and get larger breasts. Then I realized it's not that easy! laugh.gif
honeybunch
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 13 2008, 09:56 AM) *
Hey, ladies,

Some interesting articles:

http://www.glamour.com/health/implants/subindex

I like her size boobs. Those are like waaay smaller than what I was loll.

*ducks tomatoes* lol
honeybunch
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 14 2008, 08:36 AM) *
WOW. What moms go through! I remember, I used to wish they could replicate the milk production hormone so I could get injections of it and get larger breasts. Then I realized it's not that easy! laugh.gif

It's not easy. That stuff gets everywhere. Milk soaked thru several layers of clothes. So I'm sitting there in class and there's this beg wet spot on my jacket (this was before I had a chance to get some nursing pads). It shoots everywhere. I swear I could have fed 10 babies. laugh.gif

Oh and ladies, pregnancy and lactaction doesnt necessarily make boobs sag more either, although in a strange way I was hoping for a bit more sag. I'm still passing (or failing???) the pencil test. laugh.gif
strongirl
Ah, motherhood - same here on the milk engorgement. Ouch!

It's funny, when I was pregnant and nursing, my breasts were the biggest they've ever been and they felt the least sexy to me. I felt like I had cow udders. They functioned extremely well but didn't seem sexual to me until close to weaning (when I did have a very hot experience letting my new lover nurse from me, which was fun and we still sometimes fantasize about it a decade later). But at that point they were back down to an A cup.
strongirl
I am glad that Vendetta is getting some support here. She's obviously gone through a lot and is a strong person who thinks deeply about things. Vendetta - whatever you decide, I wish you happiness and self-love!

"but i do know that those who go through with the procedure are not individuals that i can relate to on a deeper level"

This phrase by Knorl but echoed by others really bothered me. I can only think of 3 women I know who have gotten implants. One is the stereotypical superficial, competitive bitch. But the other two are kind and caring people, insightful thinkers, and wonderful mothers. I have benefitted from knowing them both and would have lost out had I drawn that kind of line. I don't have to agree with someone on every issue to be friends.

In making a stand for tolerance and support for other women, I certainly did not mean to promote "an implant-supportive shift" on this forum! I've researched, considered and consistently opted not to get them. Why not?

1) I try to care for for my body in a healthy, natural way and they go against that.
2) I'm not sure they'd be an improvement - for the most part, I've always liked my small tits and so have my lovers.
3) I don't wish to support the societal trend toward physical conformity and artificiality.
4) I've looked at a lot of the before/after pics and the vast majority of them strike me as ugly and gross.
5) The risk of losing sensation scares me - I can orgasm from nipple stimulation and don't want to lose that.
6) Capsular contraction - when I see the tell-tale ripples and puckers in porn flicks, it makes my pussy go dry. Yuck!
7) Repeat surgery every 5-10 years? That sucks!

All that being said, who am I to judge someone who says, "Yeah, but it'd be worth it!" It's a personal choice.
strongirl
The article karategrrl shared by the man who's turned off by "enhancements" is mandatory reading for everyone who reads this forum. I have heard similar comments by other men (and women).

Recently my lover said that if I wanted to get implants, he would lie on the floor and have a huge temper tantrum, kicking his feet and pounding his fists. And if I tried to walk past him, he'd grab my ankles and try to keep me from going out the door.

I laughed but it did make me feel really good. It's nice to have a guy say "I love you the way you are". But for me the image of an anti-implant tantrum has a bit more visceral impact.
anaisnin
QUOTE(strongirl @ May 14 2008, 11:46 AM) *
]
Recently my lover said that if I wanted to get implants, he would lie on the floor and have a huge temper tantrum, kicking his feet and pounding his fists. And if I tried to walk past him, he'd grab my ankles and try to keep me from going out the door.



your lover has a great sense of humor tongue.gif
karategrrl
Hey strongirl,

Your list of reasons not to personally get implants echoes my own. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by agreeing with DJ's comment about not being able to relate to anyone on a deep level with someone who does get them. I defend my viewpoint and right to feel that way, but I must admit I've never personally known anyone who got them who was a down-to-earth person who I could relate to on a deep level, and I guess my lack of personal experience does skew my perception.

And to further confuse you all, I will confess that yes, I've had my moments where I said, "fuck it all!" I'm gonna sell out and get it done and FINALLY know what it's like to buy WOMAN'S BRAS and have CLEAVAGE and blah blah blah." But I know that even if I got to the point where I was being wheeled into the operating room for implants, I'd probably have a moment of personal clarity and jump right off the stretcher and run shrieking. I guess a lot of that comes from working in a health care environment; yes, we are able to work medical miracles in this day and age of technology, but in my humble opinion, major surgery is best left for lifesaving or health-enhancing situations. I've just seen and heard of too many instances where things went wrong with surgery...when it's surgery that was necessary, that's bad enough, but when it wasn't necessary (and yes, I know "necessary" is a subjective term), it really gets to me.

And yes, I, too, like the size of the woman's breasts in the black and white photo in the online article. I'd give a lot to have those! wink.gif
crinoline
OT - DJ, thank you thank you for the tip about Intimissimi bras!! I went to victorias secret (yes, evil, I know) and they had a whole bin of size 1s on sale! I got a whole new bra wardrobe in pink, ivory, white, black, and blue. They are all lightly lined, so no show through, but no padding either, and half of them are pretty and lacey. The feature I was most impressed with, is that the band is completely adjustable, like a strap! This is great for me, because I need a 30 band, which is impossible to find. So now I have delicate, grown-up lingerie, and I can throw out my carebear print preteen bras! hooray!!

As for implants, I agree with your reasons, stronggirl, but I would add that it is very likely a daughter of mine would be built the same, and I would not want to have her feel that she is in any way less. I think that if I got implants, it would send the message that I wasn't good enough before, and thus she is not good enough. It would set a bad example, and be damaging psychologically.
(also, it's adorable that your lover said that)

As a psychology major, I would also think that anyone seriously considering breast implants should definitely go through therapy first to examine their true reasons for doing this to themselves. The level of self-doubt needed to undergo major surgery of this nature should really be explored and worked through. I think that for many women, getting breast implants is just an unhealthy way of dealing with the symptoms of a much larger problem.

(((all breasty busties)))
neurotic.nelly
I was just looking at Angelina Jolie's photos, she's pregnant with twins n' all. Her breasts look great, she looks classy etc. I got to thinking about how Christina Aguilera's breasts looked in a close up picture - it was in techni-color, mind you. She has breast implants, right? In the picture, she was flaunting those implants even though it wasn't at all attractive IMO, they looked painfully swollen and veiny ( I have a thing about veins, no offense to anyone ). But, that's what you do, once you've bought and paid for them, you flaunt them, even if they look...terrible.

Lately, since reading here, I feel like an in-betweeny. I am a large A cup/ small B, so I have some breast tissue but not enough for an impress people with my cleavage. Its like I have the hint of cleavage, but I could never give my boy a tittie fuck.

I also feel that it is really important to surround yourself with positive images of women who look like you do, it boosts the self-esteem. Awhile back, I took a cartoony drawing of an Indian girl sitting in meditation with a-symmetrical small in-betweeny breasts like mine, and I posted it on my journal. It was really pretty.
Vendetta
Sometimes there's really no need to over analyze people. Sometimes a person who wants breast implants just... wants some breast. Sometimes people don't have underlying problems like past traumas or a history of self-hate or something. Sometimes there's people who are mentally healthy, educated and caring and just want to feel complete.

I don't know why they only sell B cup and up on Intimissimi. Well, they only sell B cup and up at very store around here. I've only found an A cup at DIM once, and it was too big since I'm an AA cup. There are no A and AA cups in Portugal, at all.
karategrrl
QUOTE(crinoline @ May 14 2008, 09:37 PM) *
As for implants, I agree with your reasons, stronggirl, but I would add that it is very likely a daughter of mine would be built the same, and I would not want to have her feel that she is in any way less. I think that if I got implants, it would send the message that I wasn't good enough before, and thus she is not good enough. It would set a bad example, and be damaging psychologically.


I do agree. I once worked for a man who bought his wife implants. She was very, very small before them. He had a daughter who at the time was about 8. I asked him how they were going to explain to the girl, when she went through puberty and grew small breasts, why she had small breasts while mom had large ones. He said that implants would be an option for her, too. He was so matter-of-fact about it.

When he was in his testosterone, chest-pounding mood and talking to other guys we worked with, he would talk about how "perfect" his wife's new breasts were, but when he was in a frustrated mood (they had some relationship issues), he would tell me how he loved her "old" breasts and talk about removing them, and how they couldn't hug as close anymore. ...Not to mention he was constantly trying to get in my pants, with my A-cup breasts and all. Quite an interesting scenario, as I remember....egads. laugh.gif
karategrrl
I forgot to mention, the June issue of the Oprah mag is all about beauty and body image (big close-up of Oprah's face on the cover). I've only read a few articles as yet, but so far it looks like they're tackling a lot of the things we talk about here. Interesting reading.
crinoline
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 14 2008, 06:38 PM) *
Sometimes there's really no need to over analyze people. Sometimes a person who wants breast implants just... wants some breast. Sometimes people don't have underlying problems like past traumas or a history of self-hate or something. Sometimes there's people who are mentally healthy, educated and caring and just want to feel complete.

I don't know why they only sell B cup and up on Intimissimi. Well, they only sell B cup and up at very store around here. I've only found an A cup at DIM once, and it was too big since I'm an AA cup. There are no A and AA cups in Portugal, at all.


- I agree that there are some women who are perfectly mentally and emotionally secure who still undergo implant surgery because of professional or other reasons. But a woman who feels she needs breast implants to feel "complete" is not one of those women. I'm not saying there is necessarily a history of trauma, but there is a vital level of self-love and self-worth that is missing, if someone feels incomplete as they are naturally.
I'm not making judgments, I just know that the brain is a very powerful organ, and once someone has examined their feeling of incompleteness (preferably with professional assistance) these negative feelings can be overcome without invasive and dangerous surgery.

I believe that natural breasts are inherently perfect and beautiful, no matter how small. I recently got a massage book (gordon inkeles sensual massage for couples) and there are many nude photos of people giving and receiving massage, showing breasts of all shapes and sizes. One of these women has breasts so small that they are almost nipple buds. And she is sexy, womanly, and gorgeous. She actually made me feel that I have too much breast tissue, because she was so elegant and beautiful (not a feeling I'm used to having, lol).

The size 1 bras i got at Intimissimi were equivalent to a 32 A, the sizing is very different from American lingerie, a 32 A at victorias secret is often too big for me. I think the unlined, wire free bras could fit a AA, but you'd have to try them on to know for sure.

Karategrrl- that father's attitude is horrifying, I hope that his daughter grows up strong enough to overcome such macho negativity.

(((more love for Busties of all shapes and sizes)))
karategrrl
QUOTE(crinoline @ May 15 2008, 07:55 PM) *
- I agree that there are some women who are perfectly mentally and emotionally secure who still undergo implant surgery because of professional or other reasons. But a woman who feels she needs breast implants to feel "complete" is not one of those women.


Crinoline, I stumbled over that comment, too, but I wasn't going to say anything! wink.gif


QUOTE(crinoline @ May 15 2008, 07:55 PM) *
Karategrrl- that father's attitude is horrifying, I hope that his daughter grows up strong enough to overcome such macho negativity.


I thought so, too. I wonder what became of that. That was many years ago, and I know the girl must be past her teens now.

I am going to look for that massage book. Thanks!
Vendetta
I bought one of those non-underwired bras once at Women's Secret and I hate to see myself in it. I look totally flat and when I move my nipples show because there's a lot of space between them and the bra. Argh. Those are size 1 too and I gave up from them.
crinoline
V- how about something like this ? It's cute, and not a bad price. And if you live in Portugal, do you know who Jose Fidalgo is?

Karate- Here is the book. I don't have the DVD, though (wish I did).
karategrrl
QUOTE(crinoline @ May 16 2008, 12:53 PM) *
Karate- Here is the book. I don't have the DVD, though (wish I did).


Thanks!
Vendetta
I know a José Fidalgo but he's an actor. Is it him? He's cute. I've never ordered anything from the internet, usually they don't ship to Portugal or I'm afraid to buy it if I haven't tried it on. And I don't have a credit card or intend to. I have to try to order something someday as it may be my only chance but it's frustrating to order bras from the internet not knowing how's it gonna look like on me.
neurotic.nelly
She's at it again, her whole look is trashy, but the breast implants take it over the top, don't ya think?...but she bought em', so she's flaunting em'. I am not mad at her, just mesmerized by the mess.
crinoline
yeah, that's him. He's HOTT!! I just heard of him for the first time the other day.
Vendetta
argh I hate Christina's breasts... they look so veined and unproportioned to her... José Fidalgo is a good actor and one of the oh-my-God-of-the-girls around here eheheh wink.gif
lapis
Are you sure she's had implants? As a formerly small-boobied bustie who's breast feeding (and who will likely return to this thread upon weaning), I totally believe she could be wearing her own goods. Breast feeding has been like months of having impressive implants...

QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 16 2008, 03:57 PM) *
She's at it again, her whole look is trashy, but the breast implants take it over the top, don't ya think?...but she bought em', so she's flaunting em'. I am not mad at her, just mesmerized by the mess.

neurotic.nelly
no lapis, i am not sure. i recall noticing a sizable difference in her breasts before she got pregnant. but i am not 100%. either way, i feel the same way about her, and this is how i feel about breasts in general, just because they are large does not mean they are in charge (ya know, =P).
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.