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Vendetta
They may be even bigger now that she's breastfeeding but when she appeared she didn't have all that, she was like a B cup.
neurotic.nelly
I remember that too Vendetta. That's back when I liked her. She has a voice, but I just do. not. respect. the spectacle that she is now.
karategrrl
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 17 2008, 03:05 PM) *
I remember that too Vendetta. That's back when I liked her. She has a voice, but I just do. not. respect. the spectacle that she is now.


I always liked her voice, but I never liked her body—boobs or no boobs. I'm just glad she's at least out of that "big-hair, Mardi Gras-mask makeup" phase. In the Moulin Rouge video, she looked like a bowlegged mop head.

(And speaking of Moulin Rouge, P!nk looked totally HOT in that video. Hold me back. Now.
neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 19 2008, 06:26 AM) *
I always liked her voice, but I never liked her body—boobs or no boobs. I'm just glad she's at least out of that "big-hair, Mardi Gras-mask makeup" phase. In the Moulin Rouge video, she looked like a bowlegged mop head.

(And speaking of Moulin Rouge, P!nk looked totally HOT in that video. Hold me back. Now.

laugh.gif that's so awesome, "Hold me back. Now!" I love it!

women of all shapes and sizes are living goddesses! that is all.
karategrrl
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 20 2008, 02:11 AM) *
women of all shapes and sizes are living goddesses! that is all.


Sheet, yeah! wink.gif
karategrrl
On the topic of living goddesses, I remember years ago going through a teacher certification course at a yoga retreat. One night, many of us from the course found ourselves in the women's jacuzzi (no clothing). Imagine--tons of steam, damp skin, beautiful bodies of a huge variety of shapes, colors, sizes, proportions...I remember being practically knocked over by the sheer beauty of everyone. No one looked the same, yet everyone did look the same: beautiful.

I shall leave you all with that thought, hotties. wink.gif
strongirl
I love your jacuzzi story, karategrrl! smile.gif

I have spent many happy hours at baths and clothes-optional hot springs (in both women-only and mixed gender settings) and I sincerely recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their body image issues. Most clothes-optional hot springs are NOT about sex or hooking up but are family-friendly environments that emphasize BODY ACCEPTANCE. It is wonderful to see people of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors feeling comfortable in their own skin. It is wonderful to see nude bodies in a natural, casual setting, not just used as meat for the marketing mill. If your views of breasts are skewed by looking only at your own in the mirror, then comparing them to the ones in popular media or porn, then go to a clothes-optional hot springs, I urge you. You'll see a much greater range of sizes/shapes than you ever knew existed. And no one makes a big deal out of it. It's very enlightening and uplifting (no pun intended)! Celebrate diversity!
karategrrl
QUOTE(strongirl @ May 20 2008, 07:40 PM) *
If your views of breasts are skewed by looking only at your own in the mirror, then comparing them to the ones in popular media or porn...


OMG, you are so right, strongirl. Thanks for the reminder! I really need to keep this in mind. We should be careful who who compare ourselves to...not that, of course, we should be comparing ourselves to anyone at all. wink.gif


On a somewhat unrelated topic, I've been meaning to mention here a really great thing I discovered that's doing a lot to improve my self-esteem, including the breast issue. I happened upon a movie called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. It made such an impression on me that I went and bought the book and then the affirmation kit, which has an audio CD in it, which I've been listening to in my car during my commute. It's kind of hard to explain without it sounding hokey and contrived, but it's about how to change and improve your life by replacing all those self-depreciating thoughts with positive ones. It's like recognizing that those self-fulling negative prophecies actually do come true so you might as well replace them with positive ones. It's not like saying, "I have a million dollars," and "poof!" there it is, but more about recognizing that your thoughts, words and attitudes have power and when you align them with the way the Universe works, you really can feel better, have a better life, etc.

I know this is a little off-topic and maybe a bit "la-la spacey," but I've been feeling much more comfortable in my own skin from what I'm learning from the movie/book/CD and I thought someone else here might find it useful as well.
neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 21 2008, 06:01 AM) *
I know this is a little off-topic and maybe a bit "la-la spacey," but I've been feeling much more comfortable in my own skin from what I'm learning from the movie/book/CD and I thought someone else here might find it useful as well.

You are right on topic! We are talking about self-esteem here, and Louis Hay is the queen of positive self talk and affirmations, it's a shame that the masses find this kind of thing hokey, or "la-la spacey", but hey it's their loss. I did not know there was a "kit" or that there was a movie. *logs off and goes to google video to find it* Thanks karategrrl.
karategrrl
Thanks! Glad it was helpful. Thanks for the tip about Google video!!

I'll share a tip, too: I find great deals on CDs, DVDs and books at www.half.com. Dont' know if they ship outside the U.S., though.
Vendetta
This girl from my class says she's an A cup and she hardly wears any bra... no wonder I'm an AA cup, that is a lot of breast tissue comparing to me! lol
neurotic.nelly
karategrrl, i only found the trailer on google video, and then there were some other snippets, but it looks good, similar to 'the secret'. if you've seen "the secret", i think it is worth noting that someone got cut out of the finished version, there are two version floating around out there in the world. esther hicks and abraham got cut out bc of legal differences. she channels a group of beings that claim to be co-creating with us. strange and beautiful, but you can google her or look her up on youtube. she is more "la-la-spacey" than louis hay!

back to small boobies,

vendetta, you are laughing out loud! yay! you either laugh or cry about this kinda thing.

this morning i teased my bf that he was probably watching (porn) girls with big tits, and he probably was, which is why he got mad at me. the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material. *more later on this i have to get ready for work!!!*
karategrrl
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 22 2008, 03:39 PM) *
the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material.


True on both counts! The only women I've seen w/body types similar to mine (besides Lou Dillion) are on those "teen fetish" sites. When I actually was a teen, I was harassed like crazy on the street by men. Ugh.


Cute story: I went bra shopping yesterday at a dept. store (to try and find "grown up" bras rather than my usual teen bras). I actually found a cool tiger-striped bra and thong set that ohmy.gif FIT ME!! (Even more shocking is that I also managed to NOT fall into any negative thinking like I usually do when looking at my torso in the dressing room mirror. I am proud of myself for that. I credit my "positive thinking" of late.)

But I digress...Anyway, I got home and showed hubby my find. I said, "I actually found something sexy in my size!" To which he replied, "Your size IS the sexiest size!"

He got a big kiss for that!!!!!!
edie52
Great, karategrrl. Your hubby sounds super-sweet! What brand was the bra you found?

When I get a bit more money I'm going to go down to the big dep't store here and look at the Calvin Klein bras, and also ask the saleslady if they carry any AA bras, or if she knows which brands make smaller-cut A cups. And I will stress that I DO NOT want to be pointed toward the teen section (not that there's anything wrong with shopping there... but I've had a bra lady smirk and tell me to go there and look at training bras, not cool).
karategrrl
QUOTE(edie52 @ May 22 2008, 05:56 PM) *
Your hubby sounds super-sweet! What brand was the bra you found?


He has his moments. wink.gif

It was a Candie's bra, and it was in what looked like the teen-to 20-something section.

No, that sales lady was definetely not cool! "Bee-atch" is more like it!! And, like, seriously, SO many bras out there say "A cup" or "AA cup" or whatever but they just are NOT for that size breast, case closed. WTF??!!
starship
woah i've missed alot

you all rock. boobies or not
*gets reading*...
honeybunch
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 22 2008, 10:39 AM) *
this morning i teased my bf that he was probably watching (porn) girls with big tits, and he probably was, which is why he got mad at me. the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material. *more later on this i have to get ready for work!!!*


That must be why everyone thinks I'm 16. Hmmm...

I do hate how some people equate bigger breasts with being more womanly. Grrrrrrrr!
karategrrl
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 23 2008, 10:42 AM) *


OMG, that quiz--and especially the short film right after--were incredible. WOW. Thanks for sharing!!
neurotic.nelly
karategrrl, that tiger striped bra and thong - hot!

ditto on the sales lady being a straight bee-atch! *rolls eyes*

Back to what I was saying earlier, "small breasts are all too often fetishized with preteen or barely legal material".

This can kinda work in my favor, as I like to dress in a preppy punk school girl look or (no prep or punk) regular school girl look that accentuates my more womanly curves of my legs and bottom or the sexy tomboy. Think skirt with knee high socks and mary-jane shoes with any kind of top you like that match the socks. Or japanese school girl look or the gothic lolita look.

If you have something that is considered a "negative" (not really, but you know what I mean - lil boobies rule!!) then turn it into a sexy positive. You can play with your looks! I do not dress like this all the time, but sometimes. Its fun and sexy!
Vendetta
So here I am getting dressed up for a hot night with the boyfriend, since the relationship has been so bad that we have got to plan that... and I pick up my favorite bra that I bought when was a 5-months-A-cup and stopped using since deflation... And I look into the mirror, terrified. There's air all over the place. I look like a 12-year-old. Well, I tried, but I have to give that bra away... I know I have other good assets but geez... getting sexy without the boobs is plain hard...
neurotic.nelly
Vendetta, have a good sexy time tonight with your bf!!! you deserve it!!! remember, sexy is a state of mind, it doesn't come from the boobs. Once you've got this in your consciousness, it'll exude from you like an irresistible aroma, that no man can resist.
Vendetta
I know. I have been a "sex queen" my whole sex life, without the boobs. But now I can't, I'm obsessed. We didn't have sex that night and had only on the next morning with me feeling terrible, as it has been the last few times. We argued and almost broke up. I can't forgive and forget and that is costing me my relationship. Shit.
neurotic.nelly
Vendetta, relationships are just so hard to begin with. Do you really love him?? He shouldn't have said those things to you in the first place! Sounds like your in a rock and a hard place.
honeybunch
My boyfriend doesn't like how I feel about my breasts either. He hates when we even get on that subject. He swears they are fine, but he doesn't pay much attention to them. He says I have a self-esteem problem. I admitted that I do have body image issues. He once threatened to start askin random people what they think about my breasts since according to him I care so much about what people think. We haven't had much sex lately, and I'm sure he doesn't think how I feel about my breasts is a turn on.

What really gets me is that he just doesn't seem to get why I would feel self-conscious. This is a guy who occasionally reads Maxim and Playboy and who has hung around porn stars with very big boobs and VIP rooms. Hmmmm... Can you say dense?
Vendetta
I know and we all know that these breast issues don't make sense. Of course I shouldn't have them because I'm the one he loves and I'm the one he has chosen to stay with and bla bla. He can't say he's a man to whom breast size doesn't matter because he has been attracted only to bigger before he met me. He once said small breasts didn't attract him. So, he's obsessed with breasts, as he has once said too, how come he's not obsessed with mine? I am a big turn on to him, no doubt about it, but breasts are not included? He can point out at a porn star and say that those huge saggy breasts are his type of breasts and I have to be alright with that? He can drool over beyonce's side-boob-bounce at "a beautiful liar" videoclip and say "shakira's fine but doesn't have boobs" and I have to be alright with that. He can tell me to take 5 boxes of bc pill for my boobs to grow or make fun of me "you're so happy you've gained side-boob" when I wasn't even thinking that I already had "side-boob". He can say that if I'm a headache being this good-looking, I would be a nightmare with boobs. Is that supposed to be a compliement? He doesn't get why I freaked out, after 9 or 10 months living these kind of situations? He doesn't get why I can't get undressed now in front of him. This was the way my head found to self-protect itself, if I feel like shit when having sex with him, then I don't want to. I lost my libido. Shit, I'm sick.
Vendetta
So, he has got a preference. I'm not like that. But he loves me. Why is it so hard to accept?
honeybunch
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 26 2008, 11:08 AM) *
I know and we all know that these breast issues don't make sense. Of course I shouldn't have them because I'm the one he loves and I'm the one he has chosen to stay with and bla bla. He can't say he's a man to whom breast size doesn't matter because he has been attracted only to bigger before he met me. He once said small breasts didn't attract him. So, he's obsessed with breasts, as he has once said too, how come he's not obsessed with mine? I am a big turn on to him, no doubt about it, but breasts are not included? He can point out at a porn star and say that those huge saggy breasts are his type of breasts and I have to be alright with that? He can drool over beyonce's side-boob-bounce at "a beautiful liar" videoclip and say "shakira's fine but doesn't have boobs" and I have to be alright with that. He can tell me to take 5 boxes of bc pill for my boobs to grow or make fun of me "you're so happy you've gained side-boob" when I wasn't even thinking that I already had "side-boob". He can say that if I'm a headache being this good-looking, I would be a nightmare with boobs. Is that supposed to be a compliement? He doesn't get why I freaked out, after 9 or 10 months living these kind of situations? He doesn't get why I can't get undressed now in front of him. This was the way my head found to self-protect itself, if I feel like shit when having sex with him, then I don't want to. I lost my libido. Shit, I'm sick.

Well, that doesn't sound very considerate. Like a lot of guys, maybe he needs some Sensitivity Training 101. I'm sorry hun, but he sounds a bit dense. Why does he think you'll want to get undressed in front of him after he insults you? dry.gif
neurotic.nelly
i wrote really good things earlier but they got erased...oh well...
neurotic.nelly
I say dump him! He doesn't have a preference, he has an obsession or fetish for large breasts.
honeybunch
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ May 26 2008, 02:31 PM) *
I say dump him! He doesn't have a preference, he has an obsession or fetish for large breasts.

I wouldn't blame her if she did. I've dated guys who had preferences for large breasts, but none of them were ever so rude to me.

mad.gif
crinoline
V - It certainly sounds to me like this guy doesn't deserve you.
I have a (beautiful and intelligent) friend who recently had to finally leave the guy she loved because she realized that the verbal abuse was not going to stop. It was hard, but it was the healthy decision. He said thoughtless things like your boyfriend does, and generally treated her like she was inferior both physically and intellectually. This was a guy who is 50 pounds overweight and dropped out of community college. My friend is gorgeous and a biology major at a University.
I think this may go beyond simple insensitivity to being a way to make you feel inferior. I've known "men" who feel that the only way to keep a wonderful female by their side is to make her feel like she isn't good enough for him, when usually the opposite is true.

I want you to know that there are PLENTY of men (real men, not boys) who are perfectly willing and able to love and cherish you just the way you are. There is no need to debase and change yourself for an insensitive jerk who isn't good enough for you.

(((((V)))))
Vendetta
He says he didn't do it on purpose, that it's my fault that he felt confortable to say whetever he liked because I was so confident. So today, fighting again, I asked him how would he feel if I used to be always reminding him that I prefer taller guys, because taller guys make me feel secure (he's shorter than me) and that is probably more manly. He totally freaked out, not because I prefer taller guys, but due to its reasons. That if he knew I was looking at other guys like that he wouldn't be with me. He can do it but I can't? And that he didn't prefer larger anymore, he loved only me.
So I'm with this guy, everything is doing great but sometimes he makes some comments about other girls and boobs. I don't have the boobs. So I look at other girls and start wondering why are the boobs that important, what's so great about them. And I find out a bunch of reasons for it and another bunch of reasons for feeling unhappy with their absence. And then I look differently at myself in the mirror, and become so self-concious of it that I believe that he sees me the way I see myself. Less than. Deformed. And that hurts me so much that I protect myself and no longer feel sexual, with or without him, so that I'm not able to think about it. And then I think of surgery, scared to death and needing reassurances, and the only 3 people that I have told about it (him, my dad and his girl) don't make a big deal of it. And I come from a very balanced and up class family. And, trying to concentrate on the good stuff but not really having any at the moment, I freak out. And I give it some thinking and I think too much. I'm making my own therapy lol And I had never dealt with self-esteem issues before and had always felt good. So, have I become mentally unhealthy lately or were that just the circumstances?

xxxx
crinoline
V- have you considered couples therapy? An objective third party may be able to point out to your boy the severe error of his ways in a manner that he can accept.
It's very important that he is aware that he is eroding your self esteem with his thoughtless words/actions. You could tell him that you would like to try couples therapy, and if he refuses, go on your own. It may bring home to him how important this is to your health and happiness.

I don't understand how he thinks he can hold you to a different standard than that to which he holds himself (again reminding me of my friend P's situation). This is an immature and harmful way to treat a person they supposedly love. He is allowed to violate your trust and undermine your self image by blatantly pointing out other women he "prefers", but you aren't allowed to have an opinion he disagrees with!? I don't think so. That is not how it works in the world of grown ups.

Know that this is not your fault. You do not deserve such treatment, you deserve much, much better.

You are beautiful and sexy the way you were made, because you are a Woman. This "man" should be down on his knees thanking you for allowing him near your goddess self. smile.gif

(((V and women everywhere)))
karategrrl
QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 26 2008, 11:40 PM) *
And I had never dealt with self-esteem issues before and had always felt good. So, have I become mentally unhealthy lately or were that just the circumstances?


Hey V, sorry you are dealing with this pain and bullshit right now. I've just come from a dificult weekend with my brother and husband pressing all my buttons with their "guy guy" behavior, so I truly so feel for you!

Sorry to sound insensitive to men or like I'm making a blanket statement, but in my 39 years of life (including 23 years of relationships), I can say it's been my experience that men generally are not as intuitive or sensitive as women, and are masters at hypocrisy, especially when it comes to attractions to other women vs. you. That said, they often do need "sensitivity training," as someone here put it, however, there are limits. I believe that after we have made considerable effort to make our feelings known and they just don't fricking get it and it looks like they never will, it may be time to start thinking about getting out because, unfortunately some people will just never understand certain things.

What concerns me is your statement above. You've said you've always been very sexual and you never had a breast issue or self-esteem issues before, but now you do, and you've mentioned geting implants here several times. Do you think it's largely due to this guy/relationship? I think a very important indicator in a relationship can be **how we feel about ourselves when we are around this person/how does this person make you feel about you?**

I also think he's said some very inconsiderate things, however, if you think this relationship is worth saving, I also agree that couples counseling is very good, having done it myself. Or just go by yourself, as counselors have likely heard your concerns from tons of other people and can help you by sharing their years of experience.

You've got a lot of things to think about, V. We all support you in whatever you do. And don't beat yourself up because yes, relationships are HARD!!!!! I think they can be the most difficult things in life, honestly.

<<HUGS>>
starship
V- I cant say whether to dump him or not but i know a lot of the time people say inconsiderate things without really realising the effect it has or meaning it in a nasty way. My boyfirend has a habit for putting his foot in it although ive noticed he usually avoids boob talk now he knows i have a n issue with it. Even my own mother can do it sometimes. The other day she wanted me to model a dress for some photographs and commented that she'd have to 'pad me out' first and that another relative of ours would look great in it (one with large breasts no doubt). I know she cant have meant it spitefully or realised that it would upset me but I was still left feeling, well, crap. I think you need to work out whether your boyfriend realises and is doing it deliberately (for reasons other people have suggested) or whether he's just and insensitive oaf. If its the first then dump him for the sake of your sanity but if its the latter then i guess its workable...
My boobs are at the deflated stage of their monthly transformation sad.gif. On the plus side I have great legs, bum and a tiny waist. sorry but I have to keep telling myself that lol. I feel like burning these bloody padded bras. I am a boob fraud
(((gorgeous small boobed ladies)))

honeybunch
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 27 2008, 08:44 AM) *
Hey V, sorry you are dealing with this pain and bullshit right now. I've just come from a dificult weekend with my brother and husband pressing all my buttons with their "guy guy" behavior, so I truly so feel for you!

Sorry to sound insensitive to men or like I'm making a blanket statement, but in my 39 years of life (including 23 years of relationships), I can say it's been my experience that men generally are not as intuitive or sensitive as women, and are masters at hypocrisy, especially when it comes to attractions to other women vs. you. That said, they often do need "sensitivity training," as someone here put it, however, there are limits. I believe that after we have made considerable effort to make our feelings known and they just don't fricking get it and it looks like they never will, it may be time to start thinking about getting out because, unfortunately some people will just never understand certain things.



<<HUGS>>

IA, especially when it comes to body image in general. They generally don't have the same relationships we have with our bodies. I've had to correct me SO and teach to be a bit more sensitive.

Ex. We were in the car talking about Hooters. I was joking about working there, and he told me "You don't have any!" unsure.gif

Needless, to say the next day I brought it up (I should have brought it up sooner, but I was stunned). He said it much such little impact on him that he didn't even remember he said it. Now he's more considerate, and he thinks twice about what he says. He's even pays more attention to my breasts now thanks to that and other boob talks we've had.

I could go on and on about other comments guys have made about my body ("jiggly butt") that could easily be offensive but they think it's only a joke. Sometimes they need to be told explicitly what they are doing wrong.

I also think talking to a professional may help both of you. smile.gif
karategrrl
QUOTE(honeybunch @ May 27 2008, 05:40 PM) *
He said it much such little impact on him that he didn't even remember he said it. Now he's more considerate, and he thinks twice about what he says. He's even pays more attention to my breasts now thanks to that and other boob talks we've had.

I could go on and on about other comments guys have made about my body ("jiggly butt") that could easily be offensive but they think it's only a joke. Sometimes they need to be told explicitly what they are doing wrong.


I'm glad no one has taken my comments as man-bashing, b/c I truly didn't mean it that way. Men and women are just DIFFERENT in their communication. Very. and you are right, honeybunch--men generally don't have body issues/concerns like we do, so they may not realize the impact of what they say. Men tease each other mercilessly all the time--it's like the way they bond. Women typically don't do that unless they know each other very well, at least not in my experience.

I'm glad others have brought up some points, too, b/c it helps me remember that my hubby, too, is not just an insensitive oaf--he's a guy.

One thing I've learned from hubby is that he can speak in a way that feels insensitive to me--interrupting, raising voice, making some types of comments--and that is just the way he deals with men all day at work and in friendships. He forgets that I am different and I take that kind of thing much differently. He's been shocked when I've told him about things that bugged me, too. He says I'm oversensitive, and maybe to him (and other men) I am, but I am female, and I know I'm not the only one out there like me.
Vendetta
He didn't do it on purpose... he never meant to hurt me. He was just being insensitive... and I let him at that time because I had never been offended by any comments on other women before and cause I'm kinda bisexual, they were even part of my life. But this guy was kinda obsessed with boobs and somehow, I silently turned myself into a self-eating monster. I guess no one has ever commented that much about boobs before... And then, like 9 or 10 months after that I was already living in a private hell. I just can't forgive and forget him because I still live on that private hell, with myself. I have never liked the way I used to deal with my body on that department, but now It's just not acceptable. I simply didn't questioned them on certain ways or looked at them a conscious point of view and now I do. And he's there, all the time, everyday. And we are killing each other.
neurotic.nelly
((vendetta))
**************

*derailment ahead*
karategrrl - (back to louis hay for a second) i found the movie on google video under the title 'metaphysical healing', and i watched the whole thing yesterday after being bombarded with negative emotions and arguing with my bf all day. i cried like a baby, but after i was done i felt so much better, and i picked up her book and i am determined to go thru it again and this time i am going to do all the exercises. i started today, it feels really good, and i feel very centered. oh yea, remember the woman i was telling you about earlier who channels those benevolent beings, Esther Hicks, she is in the video, but she isn't channeling. She was the woman who wore a black suit and white shirt with a fanned out collar, and she spoke about being connected to the source a lot.

Here she, err, they are!

*end derailment*

Large or small breasts. I think that both have there issues.

Here's what I enjoy about small breasts:
not having men oogle me too much ( i like a little attention )
being able to jog without looking awkward up top
being comfortable jogging for long distances.
no back problems.
i think my pms breast pain is minor compared to what it could be if i were larger...(???)
being able to hide them when i hug people... they are not constantly in the way of a hug...
again dressing sexy, playing with certain fetishized styles.

one last thing... have any of you seen the itty bitty titty committee movie? i thought it was a let down. the actresses were bland, and the script was too. it wasn't even about small breasts and the challenges/discrimination young women face. pooh on that movie.
strongirl
Couple of quick comments here -

Vendetta - just want to add my support to the outpouring you are getting here. The main thing is be kind to yourself. Love yourself. You deserve it and you have the power to do it. You are a beautiful, intelligent, caring woman. This time of pain and distress will pass and you will grow from it. Hang in there!

On the topic of small breasts being equated with teen sexual images, I personally have always felt that my sexual appeal was basically girlish and I don't have a problem with that. If I had other assets (big tits or booty) I'd make the best of it and flaunt them. But what I have instead is a playful, girlish appeal that (like others have mentioned here), I sometimes emphasize for sexy fun. Miniskirts and socks, little girly tops, all that stuff can be cute and sexy as all heck, and I can pull it off in a way that busty women can't. Nanny nanny nah nah.

An older friend once told me when I made a joke about getting implants that I should never do it because it would make me look "matronly" and I would lose my "cuteness". I think it was good advice.

This is not to be confused with pedophilia, which is violating children and WRONG, just to be clear. Taking the natural sexual impulses and feelings that we all had as kids and teens but didn't act on (hopefully) because we were too young, and using that energy and imagery in a mature, adult sexuality is a whole different thing.
karategrrl
QUOTE(strongirl @ May 29 2008, 02:53 PM) *
On the topic of small breasts being equated with teen sexual images, I personally have always felt that my sexual appeal was basically girlish and I don't have a problem with that. If I had other assets (big tits or booty) I'd make the best of it and flaunt them. But what I have instead is a playful, girlish appeal that (like others have mentioned here), I sometimes emphasize for sexy fun. Miniskirts and socks, little girly tops, all that stuff can be cute and sexy as all heck, and I can pull it off in a way that busty women can't. Nanny nanny nah nah.

An older friend once told me when I made a joke about getting implants that I should never do it because it would make me look "matronly" and I would lose my "cuteness". I think it was good advice.


"Nanny nanny nah nah. " laugh.gif laugh.gif

Strongirl, thanks for the reminder!!! All too often I think i'm not "womanly" b/c of my small breasts, but you are right--they can be part of a whole package of youthful, girlish appeal. Granted, there are many men who only like large ones, and (as we have discussed here, and I hate to admit), the breast implant phenomenon is inflating (no pun intended) perceptions of the "average" breast size. However, many men just like breasts--large, small, medium, etc. --and who they are connected to is important, too.

I almost forgot I did this, ladies!!!!.......
Over the weekend, I was having a good-natured argument with my visiting sister-in-law over who had the smaller breasts--me (now and always) or her (pre-pregnancy). For years, she has always argued she "had nothing...wore A-cups," bla bla bla. This time I set the record straight by flashing her. It came to that. The look on her face was priceless: a nanosecond of shock (as in, "she just actually flashed me!") and then agreement: "Oh, yes, they ARE small." (Duh! what I have been telling her all these years!!!?) laugh.gif tongue.gif

dj-bizmonkey
wow. i have been totally out of the loop for too long! my bf just moved in here, my parents were in town, slaving away at work. ANYWAY. you ladies have kept up a great discussion in here and i'm glad to see/read how positive everyone is being.

i LOVE men, but i also LOVE a little man-bashing. their brains just aren't wired the same. i will say that my bf is always very supportive and sweet when it comes to my body. i've put on some weight recently and as a result, my boobs are just slightly bigger. only perceptable to me, really. he was grabbing them the other day and i said, 'they are big because i'm fat!' i don't know if i had funny tone or what, but it has become a running joke between us now. anything can be 'big because i'm fat.' as in, 'those onions are big because i'm fat.' i'm not fat and my boobs aren't big, so i guess that's why we found it so hilarious.

i've really lucked out with j. he's the man who waved his hand and said 'big boobs are overrated.'

QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 26 2008, 11:08 AM) *
He can say that if I'm a headache being this good-looking, I would be a nightmare with boobs. Is that supposed to be a compliement?


i had a good friend say something very similar to me. it was along the lines of 'dj, you'd be too pretty if you had boobs.' wtf?

(((((vendetta))))) i judging from everything i've read, i think you might do well by seperating from this guy. i'm not saying that you have to break up permanently, but he is obviously wreaking havoc on your self-esteem whether he is intending to or not. you need to surround yourself with people/activities that make you feel good about yourself. you said you used to be 'sex-queen.' what was going on in those days? who were you hanging out with and what were you doing? you might try getting back to that. he may have f-ed up your sex life with him, but that's no reason you can't feel sexy. good luck, let us know how it all turns out.

QUOTE
strongirl Posted Today, 09:53 AM
all that stuff can be cute and sexy as all heck, and I can pull it off in a way that busty women can't. Nanny nanny nah nah.


hahahahaha!! i love it. my bustier lady friends always say how jealous they are of the tops i can get away with.
karategrrl
So good to see you back, DJ. It's just not the same without you!

QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ May 29 2008, 10:05 PM) *
i LOVE men, but i also LOVE a little man-bashing. their brains just aren't wired the same.


Dang, it's so true. For most of my younger life I swore we were really all the same, but esp. with my husband, it's really hit home that we are two different species.

QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ May 29 2008, 10:05 PM) *
anything can be 'big because i'm fat.' as in, 'those onions are big because i'm fat.' i'm not fat and my boobs aren't big, so i guess that's why we found it so hilarious.


That is cute! That kind of humor reminds me of my hubby. He's convinced he's fat. He has a bit of a belly, but he's so huge and muscular overall it really doesn't look bad at all--it balances out and he's a hottie. Whenever I give him a compliment, it goes something like this:

Me: Nice ass!
Him: Fat ass.
Me: Nice legs!
Him: Fat legs.
Me (now catching on to the game): Nice cock!
Him: Wimpy cock.

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Vendetta
I'm seeing a therapist next week, I'll give it a try. I suppose I can only get better if I brake up with him as I'm not seeing myself getting confident naked in front of him, not anymore. He ruined it and I blew it.
I hope it's worth the huge amount of money spent.
starship

why do people thinnk its ok to just point out that im flat chested and remark on my body.grrr.I need to become more resilliant to insensitive comments or im never going to get over this boob issue

i found myself cringing slightly when my bf touched me the other day.total mood killer

not sure why because he always tries to reassure me. He called me a trophy gf..i said i was more like the booby prize, without the booby...he said i was the booty prize and thats good enough for him:)

I know large breasts have problems too but ive noticed that the large breast forum tends to deal more with practicalities whereas our problems revolve around the psychological, not physical, difficulties

((Vendetta))
greenbean
Came across this recently and had to post: http://img256.imageshack.us/my.php?image=01couvpb88qy0.jpg
Shes one of Jane Birkin's daughters/charlotte gainsbourg's half sister (talk about a whole family of small breasted icons!) on the cover of Playboy France..
more pics here:
http://hotbisexualmodel.blogspot.com/2008/...t-yet-dead.html
love it!
karategrrl
QUOTE(greenbean @ Jun 3 2008, 05:56 AM) *
Came across this recently and had to post: http://img256.imageshack.us/my.php?image=01couvpb88qy0.jpg
Shes one of Jane Birkin's daughters/charlotte gainsbourg's half sister (talk about a whole family of small breasted icons!) on the cover of Playboy France..
more pics here:
http://hotbisexualmodel.blogspot.com/2008/...t-yet-dead.html
love it!


Someone else posted these not too long ago, but they are so great, I don't mind the reminder! smile.gif

On a side note: Today I'm wearing a pretty low-cut dress (down to that little notch on my breastbone) and I almost didn't wear it, thinking it was too low-cut for work, but then I realized on me it's really not that sexualized and therefore i can get away with. I mentioned this to a busty co-worker (like, "Does this look okay??") and she told me she'd look "like a prostitute" in a dress like mine, with her "breast-uh-siz" (ha) hanging all out. I'm counting my blessings when I can!!!
crinoline
V- sorry for the delayed post. Good for you!! It's awesome that you are taking steps to put yourself back where you belong, in love with yourself! You rock!!
(((V)))

Karate- I wear low cut (to beneath my sternum) tops all the time, because I have NO cleavage, so i use my collarbones / sternum as my cleavage, which the boy finds just as sexy!

(((starship))) - people can suck, but your boy is awesome!
Vendetta
So here we were, at lunch, arguing again for the same issue... and I tell him for the 100th time that I don't feel sexy around him anymore and I'm afraid I never will. So, he's right that he can't do nothing about it now and I shouldn't keep making his life miserable because of that but.. I'm just so sad. It's like something has been ripped off from me. I can't help to feel inadequate and obsess over his boob thing when we're intimate and that stops me from being sexual. What would you girls do? Do you think you could just forget and be yourselves again? I know I should and can't tell why I can't. How can I be able to just don't give a fuck about what he thinks and likes and have said and get myself out of this miserable state? Is it possible that we can be happy again? I get so sad when I think about his boob thing that all I can do is to cry... My female pride is painfully hurt.
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