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oceangirl
Thank you guys for the tips on where to look for bras/bralets I appreciate it.

I'm sure the poster was intending for humour because isn't "bitch slap" like an incredibly offensive term to women?


QUOTE(pherber @ Jun 12 2008, 09:34 PM) *
Seriously, I don't know a single guy, who has the audacity to describe women in such a disrespectful and chauvinistic way, and if one did so in my presence, I'd bitchslap him into oblivion.

mantraeadg7
Hello! This is actually my first post ever on any site in the history of my life . . . this place is just too good to be true!
I'm a cancer (anybody else love astrology?) and sometimes the moodswings get me waaaaaay down. Usually I'm OK/unconcerned/sometimes-even-happy with my physical self (slim, 32A), but when one of those moods come around I'm just a mess. It's not uncommon to find me curled up in bed, crying, with a snickers bar jammed in my mouth. Anyone else experience these extreme ups and downs?
There's so much I want to talk about . . . but I'll try to space it out instead of taking up an entire page hahaha. Bye for now!
crinoline
welcome mantra!

I just got two bras from Honeydew, and they are sooo comfortable and cute! The size small is about a 30 or 32 AA-A, I highly recommend giving them a try! One is just a triangle bra of green lettuce edged cotton and the other is nude cotton banded in lace, so cute.
strongirl
Hi, Mantra. I'd never posted anywhere either and I just started here a few weeks ago. It is a pretty amazing place!

I completely know what you mean about the ups and downs. I was just trying to put numbers on it last night while I was out on a run - like maybe 60% of the time my looks are just not important enough to me to think about, 30% of the time I think I am unattractive (and sometimes become very upset about that), and 10% of the time I think I'm pretty hot! This really bugs my boyfriend since he has a high opinion of my looks and observes that I get hit on a lot, so he can't understand why my assessment of myself is so out of synch with external feedback. No matter what she actually looks like, I think it's fun for a guy to drool over a girl who is flaunting her hotness but not so fun to comfort a girl who is crying and curled up in a ball over feeling ugly.

So I try to do things to keep my perspective positive and feel comfortable in my own skin, and if I can help other women do likewise, then I will.

I'm curious about other people's percentages, if anyone wants to share/compare.
starship
Hi mantra:).Hope you stick around...I definately get ups & downs regarding my body image too. Hmm, its hard to put into percentages stongirl. My dislike for my body usually seems to be there like a sort of undercurrent. Most of the time I manage to keep it in perspective but every now and then it will really get to me to the point that Ill just cry about it. Although sometimes Ill find myself on the other extreme, thinking im damn hot and wanting to flaunt it. The majority of my time is spent somewhere in the middle. I cant even remember the last time Ive gone an entire day without thinking about my breasts at some point:/
The past week Ive been enjoying pre-menstrual boobies:). I dont even change cup size, just get a little fuller and yet thats enough to keep me happy. Makes me think how mad these women are who pay thousands to get 'big boobs' despite already having perfectly good B/C cups. Id be over the moon to have what they consider small and inadequate
Have you got a link for these honeydew bras crinoline?
Vendetta
Ahhh.. summer. The beach. Boobs everywhere. Boobs in bras, boobs in bikinis, boobs in cleavages, boobs in strapless tops. Saggy boobs, perky boobs, small boobs, big boobs, pale boobs, tanned boobs.

And me and my padding.
crinoline
Summer... how nice it is not to HAVE to wear a bra! No one will notice if I go without, so I count that as a blessing in this 90-100s heat.

starship- the green one is like this except it's made of lettuce edged ribbed green cotton. The other one is like this except it's nude with pale pink lace. They're amazingly comfy. Next I want this lace one and this ruffle mesh bra (it matches their ruffle mesh panties that I adore).

Yeah, I definitely yo-yo on the body image, sometimes I think I'm okay, sometimes I feel hideous, I never really reach a "hotness" extreme (except maybe when I go down on the boy- great self confidence boost!). I also enjoy pre-men. boobies, the boy never really notices a difference, except to say that "they're heavier", but I notice every tiny swelling.
honeybunch
Hmmm...

I don't know if I could break it down in percentages, but most of the time I don't like my body. The best I usually do is ambivalence. The was only one time in my life when I truly liked my body.
neurotic.nelly
I'd say that for the most part I approve of my body. I am strong, tall, curvy, and domineering ( I mean sexy and confident wink.gif )

My percentages:

65% I approve of my body. 25% I disapprove. 10% No mind on the body.

**********************************
I have a lesson learned about body image from a friend, she was overweight her whole life, and then she started on the swim team, and she was still big but she was toned and hot, but she still thought she needed to lose the weight, still had low body image. That was in college. Now many years later, she looks back on that body wishing that she had appreciated it then. I think it is an important lesson.

karategrrl
QUOTE(starship @ Jun 20 2008, 10:47 PM) *
Makes me think how mad these women are who pay thousands to get 'big boobs' despite already having perfectly good B/C cups. Id be over the moon to have what they consider small and inadequate


I SO feel you! mad.gif
dj-bizmonkey
i KNOW! this always drives me crazy. what i wouldn't do for a full b-cup. i don't want to be huge, just a little bigger. while surfing the web i came across one of those wiki 'how to's'. it was all about 'how to' enhance your chest if you had small breasts. some of the tips were helpful and constructive, but there was one line that irked me. it said: "do you have low self-esteem or do you really have small breasts?" i guess i understand where they were going with this, i.e. those women who have b or c cups and think that they are small. but it bothered me, like having small breasts would automatically give you low self-esteem.

as for my percentages, they ain't great these days. my boobs are bigger, but so is the rest of me. i'm not fat, y'all, but i'm overweight. i'm still dealing with the physical manifestation of a deep depression this spring. i used to be very confident, even though i always wished for bigger breasts, i was confident in the rest of my body. now i feel icky about every inch of it. ugh. getting back in shape is such a slooooooooow and disheartening process.
karategrrl
Hey DJ, I like your signature and avatar. Those gibbons--apes, as I now know--are cute!

I can't attach percentages to my body image, but I must say my insecurity is higher when there's a really hot woman or women with large breasts around.

All dressed up and makeup-ed, I usually feel good about me. It varies otherwise. In PJs around the house and with hair all in a mess, sometimes I feel like a frumpster and sometimes I just say, "f*ck it, this is who I am!"

Interesting note: I have wide feet, and it's just as difficult for me to find shoes that fit as it is to find bras. (Yes, like finding a needle in a haystack.) Last week I bought a cute pair of shoes that actually fit me (and were on sale)!

Well, this is what today has been like:

This morning: I'll wear my cute new shoes!
After 1 hour: shoes killing me! (due to seams rubbing on my almost-bunions, which would not be an issue if not for my feet being so wide in this area!)
After 5 hours: Thoughts of "What I'd give to have narrower feet" replaced usual thoughts of "What I'd give to have larger breasts."

Ugh. dry.gif
strongirl
DJ and Karate, your posts remind me of other body image issues. It's funny, for most of my younger years I was much more obsessed about staying thin than having bigger breasts and I think that might have been the times/culture - maybe some of you who are older like me (47) can weigh in on that (pun intended). But back then it seemed everyone wanted to be Twiggy, not Pam Anderson. I had an eating disorder during my college years and found a book called Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach that might have saved my life, since I was binging/purging and all that crazy shit. I did the mental exercises in the book and have been a healthy eater and a healthy weight since then (yikes, almost 30 yrs now).

The reason I bring this up is that the focus of the book was to learn to love your body and treat it well, not to abuse it and hate it and try to use it just to impress other people. Give it healthy food, and invigorating exercise, and sexual pleasure, not criticism and starvation. One of the techniques in the book was "mirror work" where one had to stand in front of the mirror for some amount of time, viewing one's body with love and appreciation. Every time harsh or critical thoughts came in, replace them with loving, approving thoughts. Instead of "my thighs are fat" think "my thighs are big and powerful". So I wonder if this can be used for breast issues...tonight I will be looking in the mirror thinking "my tits are cute and perky" and banish any negative thoughts.

The other thing about my eating disorder and healing from it is that even though I don't have this body type, I realized I truly do love fat women's bodies and I had a lot of anger about society's (at the time) total hatred for them. Most of the women in my family are large, bordering on obese, and I always loved hugging their big soft bodies and snuggling up in their laps. And just because they are big doesn't mean they are not fit. My mom is over 70, has always been fat, and still swims a mile a day.

Shouldn't the goal of all of this be to 1) love and appreciate and enjoy our own bodies and 2) love and appreciate and enjoy other people's too?
karategrrl
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jun 23 2008, 10:56 PM) *
The reason I bring this up is that the focus of the book was to learn to love your body and treat it well, not to abuse it and hate it and try to use it just to impress other people. Give it healthy food, and invigorating exercise, and sexual pleasure, not criticism and starvation. One of the techniques in the book was "mirror work" where one had to stand in front of the mirror for some amount of time, viewing one's body with love and appreciation. Every time harsh or critical thoughts came in, replace them with loving, approving thoughts. Instead of "my thighs are fat" think "my thighs are big and powerful". So I wonder if this can be used for breast issues...tonight I will be looking in the mirror thinking "my tits are cute and perky" and banish any negative thoughts.


Shouldn't the goal of all of this be to 1) love and appreciate and enjoy our own bodies and 2) love and appreciate and enjoy other people's too?



Hey strongirl, so glad you dealt with the eating disorder and have been healthy now for 30 yrs. (and to do it by via your own personal, inner strength is really something to be proud of too!)

But I digress...yeah, mirror work and positive thinking. I've been getting better at catching the negative thoughts when they happen and replacing them with positive ones. What's tough for me, though, is that, for example, having narrower feet would make my life tons easier in terms of buying shoes (and since I work in a corporate environment, clothing and appearances are things I have to be concerned with). I do replace thoughts of, "I hate my wide feet" with "My feet serve me well," "My feet are healthy, they carry me around, I'm fortunate to have feet," etc. But the truth is, it would still be easier to buy shoes if they weren't so fucking big!! Ha. I am trying--hard--but I'm still not at the point where I'd say I prefer my wide feet for any reason. laugh.gif

I'm working on it, though, and you have inspired me, so thanks! wink.gif
neurotic.nelly
generally when i look into the mirror, i like what i see. positive self talk is essential.

l
edie52
I've been thinking about this. Despite my gripes about my boobs and my participation in this thread, I truly like my body, most of the time. I do focus on the boob issue though, just because my boobs are truly tiny and I compare myself to everyone else (99.5% of whom have bigger ones), and maybe also because I think the rest of my body is pretty great and if I had bigger boobs it would be "perfect." Though I'm sure I'd find something else that bothered me. So my "numbers" are probably 70% feeling good about my body, though if I removed the boob issue it would be about 95%. I especially like my long legs which curve out to medium-sized hips, and my small waist.

Actually, most of my insecurity is actually focused on my face, because there are way more perceived flaws there than on my body, and I feel like it's harder to mask or transform the face than the body. I don't think I'm a hideous freak, I know I'm cute or pretty to some, but I'm self-conscious about my teeth and a few other features and I'm also freaked out that I'm going to age badly. I always wish that I'd gotten braces in high school. I've been compared to certain celebrities (like Charlotte Gainsbourg for one), and I like looking at photos of her to try to feel better about myself, but then I realize that I don't actually look like her. I'm just kind of the same type.

I definitely try to be grateful that my body is functional and healthy. I've had a few health scares and afterwards I always feel awful about having taken it for granted. It can be kind of empty to say "just be happy you're healthy," but if anyone else has had a brush with illness or knows someone who has it really hits home.
dj-bizmonkey
i think i'm in a bad spot with my body in general right now. like i said before, getting back to normal for me is going to take some time. i think back to how obsessed i was with my weight in high school. it was so stupid. what i wouldn't give to have that body again. sheesh. for me, i always felt that, hey, my boobs are small, but that's fine because i have a big round butt, a tiny waist and a flat stomach. my butt isn't going anywhere, but my waist has expanded, and i'm feeling more like a log these days than a pear. i know better than to be so negative about myself, but i just can't get back in shape soon enough.

i've got the wide feet too, karategrrl. when point-toe shoes came back into fashion i was lost. seriously. they are flintstone feet, two wide bricks with short, stubby toes. thank god i live in a place where flip-flops are acceptable year-round. i worry less about feet because they are so utilitarian.

back to breasts, sort of. this is going to sound completely f****d up, but i have always thought how doubly hard life would be for a woman who is both overweight and small breasted. there are all these ad campaigns telling us to 'celebrate our curves,' or people describe a woman as 'voluptuous,' i feel like the fine print is talking soley about their breasts. i guess it is the reverse of my body logic (i have small breasts, but my stomach is flat) to something like, i may be overweight but i've got big breasts. i think right now, i'm mired in my own insecurity, my own fear that i am going to be that woman. i hope i don't hurt anyones feeling by what i just said, and i might draw some heat, but i had to put it out there. it's been this nasty, negative thought at the back of my mind.

strongirl
No time to say much right now but wow, a bunch of good posts in this last flurry. And try this on: instead of thinking "I like this part of my because it comes close to meeting our cultural standard" how about "I like this part of my body because it has X quality that I personally enjoy and appreciate and F__ it if it doesn't meet anyone else's standards"?

I do agree with you DJ about the hidden subtext in the "celebrate your curves" thing - it feels like "it's ok if you have a fat belly as long as you have big boobs" to me too. Which those tops you guys were talking about a while back - fitted over the tits but like maternity tops through the body - those are designed with that same perspective. Which is fine, if I had a body that fit that style I'd be happy. But I don't, LOL.

starship
i love it when there's loads to read in here

I have issues with pretty much most parts of my body but my focus is usually on my breasts. People say if you had bigger boobs you'd just find something else to complain about but i dont think that's true. Sure I'd probably still moan about other bits but to say that Id still not be satisfied is like saying Ive created this boob issue just so I have something to complain about.
Ive thought that too DJ-biz. Im naturally a very skinny person (skinny, not slim sad.gif) and Ive often wondered how my boobs would change if I put on weight, if at all. Ive tried to put on some weight but it just doesnt happen. It seems like most of my body hang ups stem from being skinny (small boobs, long awkward arms&legs, bones showing all over the place lol. gross). My mother was always slightly larger than me when younger and a A/B cup. She's now put on some weight and seems to have changed proportionately so i guess Id be the same. Thankfully I have a waist & bum so avoid completely resembling a 14year old boy. As i am now I think I'd look in proportion with a Bcup. C or higher and I'd look 'large' and probably a little odd.
I try to be positive looking in the mirror but it's not usually that sucessful. I actually don't even know what I look like anymore. Sounds stupid but when i see photos of myself I always wonder if thats what i really look like or if it's just a strange camera angle or something. Shows how distorted my body image must be. In a way I hate how technology has led to everyday photography being so accessible. I cant seem to go a day without being snapped on someone's phone or digital camera. Usually ending up on facebook etc. I try to avoid looking at them or I'll spend ages scrutising how odd my elbow looks or something equally ridiculous. whoops derailment.
I dislike my teeth too edie. and my face:/. I think my problem must be focusing on individual features/body parts rather than myself as a whole. I get compliments and male attention so Im sure I cant be as hideous as i sometimes feel. I usually end up opting for the 'at least they work and afre healthy' pick-me-up though. A friend my age was recently diagnosed with cancer which definately put things into perspective for me. I also visited an elderly relative in hospital last week. I was in a ward of old people who's bodies were failing them to the point it was painful to look at. It just made me think how i should just love and enjoy my body now because in years to come Ill probably be wishing to have it back. It's cliched but life really is too short to give a damn
neurotic.nelly
just a really quick post here,

feet: when i was younger, i hated my feet because they were longer than average, size 10/11, very narrow and i thought i looked like a clown. but as time has passed, i've realized that my feet fit my height and i am generally happy with them now.

boobs: my breasts are not symmetrical and i don't care. i pretty much love them, and i thank goddess they have a little cush! sometimes, i wish they were bigger, i hate admitting this though. i got upset with my bf a few weeks ago for singing something about little breasts after he surprisingly groped me. he didn't say anything bad about them, but somehow I took offense, and then I felt guilty for getting upset about it because i thought i was over this, and again, he didn't say anything was wrong with them at all. *shruggs shoulders*

Somehow, I have completely rejected societies dominant standards of beauty. Somehow, *rolls eyes*, the somehow happened by reading books that critique beauty standards, capitalism, and saturating my psyche with images of alternative beauty. In my eyes, the imperfect is much more interesting and sexy. I flaunt my imperfections when I am feeling beautiful and confident about them!
anarch
reading books that critique beauty standards, capitalism, and saturating my psyche with images of alternative beauty

yes, these were and are key for me, too. And surrounding myself with women and men who question conventional beauty standards, too, so that I don't have to feel so alone in doing all that heavy lifting. (Speaking of which, thank cod, again and always, for all of you here.)

I went to a Victoria's Secret store today, to see if their Semi-Annual Sale had any XS bikinis that would make me look good. The first one I tried made me look entirely flat and 3 others just didn't do anything for my body, but I found one with a cut that suits my boobs and shows them to best advantage, hallelujah. Half price, too. Not ideal colours, but they'll do, and a good cut makes up for a lot.



Vendetta, this is really late (I've moved cross-country in the last few months so I've been reading Bust occasionally but not taking time to write), but I wanted to join in supporting you when you posted about bf issues, a while back. And to post apologies for probably having made unjustifiable assumptions in some earlier posts, about where some of the feelings you expressed were coming from. I'm really glad you're here.
purplestain
Newbie, but I've been lurking on this topic for so long I had to post.

I think the option of a boob job is what is most torturous. If the surgery didn't exist, we'd might still dislike our bodies, but I don't think we'd obsess about them as much. When the option of change isn't there, we're forced into tolerance, if not complete acceptance.

Whenever your thoughts start looping around in that self-loathing way, go do something else to distract you - preferably, something that makes you feel strong and capable. This technique also applies to my even-worse body image issue: body hair. My arm hair has been the bane of my life for years; I've been through bleaching, waxing, Nairing, you name it. Now, when I catch myself looking at it and thinking, "if I could just wax this whole bit..." I do one of two things.

1a) Pretend that the hair cannot be removed. "Hairy arms, just as God made me. Oh well."
1b) MOVE ON WITH LIFE.
2. Think of all the great things I do with my arms that have NOTHING to do with how much hair is on them.
Vendetta
Yep, the option of a boob job is tortuous... I'm seeing a therapist and have been taking some medication cause I have become such an anxious person to the point I don't sleep, eat badly and has been difficult for me to feel good about my life, myself, anything. A lot of things had happened in my life in the past two and a half years and, I don't know... bad things keep happening and I need a new way to deal with them.
The boob issue has been consuming me too. It made me lose my trust in myself, in my bf, it took away from me my libido, sex life and self-love. I'm a total mess and so is my relationship.
I won't say I won't go for surgery. I'm also seeing the therapist to try to stop wishing that but I can't predict if that is going to happen. She says that in "the end" if I still want it this bad, then it's something that perhaps needs to be done, in order to take the issue out of the table and I can be able to stop thinking about it. Only time will tell.
Have you seen the movie / documentary "Flatly Stacked"? http://www.filmakers.com/indivs/FlatlyStacked.htm
I haven't, i'm trying to find it somewhere. It must be interesting!

Kisses t'ya all
karategrrl
anarch, you opened my eyes to something when you said:
"In my eyes, the imperfect is much more interesting and sexy."

You know, I have always been much more attracted to men and women who have something offbeat or interesting about their look, not meeting some "perfection" ideal--think Jeff Goldblum, Tim Robbins, Uma Thurman, and that French Playoby model someone posted a link to (Lou Dillard?)...Chippendale models or those "perfect" male bodies make me yawn. Soooo.....
WHY am I not holding myself to those same standards and celebrating my small breasts and, shit, even big feet as what makes me gorgeous, in an offbeat way???? I ahave been holding myself to the "perfection" standard and never realized it. Duh!

purplestain, you coldn't have said it better.:
"I think the option of a boob job is what is most torturous. If the surgery didn't exist, we'd might still dislike our bodies, but I don't think we'd obsess about them as much. When the option of change isn't there, we're forced into tolerance, if not complete acceptance."

I totally agree, and I've voiced this opinion here previously, though not as eloquently as you did. Choices are good, but too many, I think, can often wreak havoc. With surgery, we are not embracing the "vive la difference" mindset. I look back on the '70s (when I was a kid) sometimes with nostalgia. I remember small-breasted women running around with those little clingy polyester camisoles, all manner of nipplage showing. Not an implant in sight, nor discussion of "Are those real or fake??" Ah...<sigh> the good old days!

Yeah, DJ, I'd fit right in with the Flintstone clan! I told my friend yesterday (who, thank Goddess, bought those shoes off me that hurt me so much!) "Hey, at least in hurricane conditions, I won't topple over!" She said she'd be sure and grab my ankles for safety in the event of severe weather conditions! Ha!

Sometimes you gotta laugh over this shit.
anarch
when you said:
"In my eyes, the imperfect is much more interesting and sexy."


I'd love to take credit for that, but it was neurotic.nelly. I also loved that she said that.

Confession: I've found it's easier for me to see the sexiness of imperfect men's features than women's. Cultural conditioning, I guess. I am glad to say that at least it's asier for me to see the sexiness of women's imperfections now, than before I started to consciously try to change my thinking. It's been a long road though.

Meant to add last night how important it is to treat ourselves as we would treat our best friends. Best friend tears herself down? We talk her back up and point out all the ways she's wonderful. All the many ways that overshadow what she thinks are irredeemable flaws. I think for a lot of us, it takes practice to be kind to ourselves.

neurotic.nelly
Glad to hear you are going to therapy, Vendetta, and thanks for posting the link to that documentary. Now my mission this week is to find it!

anarch, you're so right about building ourselves back up! It's so important to be replace the critique in our heads with a cheerleader(s).

knorl05, if you're lurking, come out and play!
Vendetta
I'm not trying to fit any society's mold by thinking about surgery or anything, I pretty much love the rest of my body and when "I loved myself" I would just put on a padded bra and focus on the rest of my to-my-eyes perfect body. I never dealt with my flat-chest cause I didn't wanted to and I never saw myself as a flat-chested gal cause I didn't wanted to either and when I'm dressed up with my padded bra I'm perfect. The guys I've been with never mentioned it before. Now that someone has pointed out my "fault" I had to start dealing with it at 24 years-old when I'm trying more than never to be the woman I feel inside and realised the padded bras were the breasts I never had and somehow believed I did had them. Go figure. I have got nothing against flat-chests but I just don't see myself that way. That is not the way I dress up, that is not the way I behave and that is not the way I see myself. I have been avoiding reality since my 11 years old.
beck
on the percentage thing - 70% of the time I don't think about it at all, 20% I like what I see, 10% I don't. The 10% is not generally boob-related though, more when my skin flares up - i mostly like my small boobs and big butt but i am bothered by the bad skin on my chest. i'm all for variation and different shapes but let's face it, acne is never going to be sexy sad.gif

the other things i don't like so much are my very pale skin (i practically glow in the dark) and my teeth, due to a slight misunderstanding between me and a wall when i was little...

but most of the time i think what the hell, i look alright - and if i don't, tough shit, i'm a smart and interesting person (on a good day) and would rather be judged on that - if someone misses out because they don't like my face, their loss. my beef is more about finding stuff that fits properly than dealing with self-esteem problems. i think it would be harder if i lived in the US as i get the impression people are better-groomed generally? (or am i just basing that on what i see on TV?)

i participated in some research on body image and bi/gay women recently - anyone got any thoughts on whether being bi or gay helps you to distance yourself somewhat from societal pressure to look a certain way?

i'm so with the big-footed Busties - it is such a pain (literally) finding shoes to fit my wide feet.

ETA: clearly not as smart as i like to think, at least not at maths, as i realised this morning that with those %s, i would be spending a crazy 5 and a half hours a day thinking about my appearance, and close to 2 hours a day mired in self-loathing. Probably more like 5 and a half minutes, and 2 minutes. but i can't possibly work out those as percentages...

Sorry for crazy long post!
dj-bizmonkey
QUOTE(beck @ Jun 25 2008, 01:01 PM) *
i participated in some research on body image and bi/gay women recently - anyone got any thoughts on whether being bi or gay helps you to distance yourself somewhat from societal pressure to look a certain way?


i am as straight as they come, but i have often wondered about this too. a looooooong time ago, when lux still posted in here, she mentioned how awful her girlfriend was to her about her small breasts. this kind of surprised me. i suppose my dime store analysis would be that lesbians/bi women share a common perspective in the world. maybe women's ability to see past the superficial in others translates to bi/lesbian relationships. one would think that these women would be more sympathetic to the societal pressures put on women and therefore more open and accepting of different physical forms. however, all women are subject to the same conditioning. i, like anarch, have more difficulty forgiving the bodily 'transgressions' of women than i do of men. in my mind, men aren't supposed to be beautiful in the way that women are. so, to answer your question beck, i don't know. those are just some thought.......

i'm glad that some of you echoed the big girl/small breasts sentiment. i feel like it can go the other way too, as in, it's okay to have small breasts if you are super skinny (i'm not ragging on you bean poles out there, i know that is the way nature made you! wink.gif ) i am always looking for a celebrity/athlete example of a bigger woman with small breasts. i think the best examples must come from athletes, tennis players, soccer players, gymnists (karate peeps, wink wink).

((((small-busted busties))))
Vendetta
hmmm yeah, I'm bisexual and I'm more tolerant towards alternative beauty in women and probably will allways be more than some straight women, I guess. Until I had this boob issue I had never seen a woman and had thoughts like "I wish I was like her or I wish I had that something", I would just appreciate her for the whole package. I used to go to this strip club with my ex-bf and we used it as a turn on on our relationship, and it worked miracles. I had spent hours surfing on suicidegirls.com (I've got a login lended from a great friend lol) and appreciated women from all kinds and shapes. And that's great.
crinoline
I haven't posted in a while, not much to add to the convo I guess. I am soo feelin y'all on the wide feet! It sucks cuz mine are also really short, so good luck to me finding a size 5 1/2 wide (they're practically square, lol)!

dj- You're right about our build being found in gymnasts. When I was a gymnast there were many girls with my same build (bulky ass/thighs, tee-tiny top), it may be from the way we train our muscles, I dunno. It took me years to get my thighs down to where my quads didn't stick out.

V- congrats on your progress!! I'm so proud of you for the steps you're taking to love yourself, you rock!!!

I also think there is beauty in imperfection, if something is too perfect, it isn't interesting visually or otherwise. Look at the Mona Lisa, which is famous in part because her face is slightly imperfect, it makes people want to look at it.

umm percentages... I'm sorry to say that it took a man (crinoboy) to bring me up to where I am now, self-esteem wise. He taught me to love myself and overcome years of negative thinking and self-loathing. So nowadays I'm about 50% okay, 30% omg I am hideous, 19% I look pretty good, and 1% I am hot.
juliaolive
QUOTE(crinoline @ Jun 26 2008, 03:07 PM) *
umm percentages... I'm sorry to say that it took a man (crinoboy) to bring me up to where I am now, self-esteem wise. He taught me to love myself and overcome years of negative thinking and self-loathing. So nowadays I'm about 50% okay, 30% omg I am hideous, 19% I look pretty good, and 1% I am hot.


Crino, I'm the exact same way! When my bf and I began dating I had an eating disorder and really really hated my body. Now, almost a year later, I'm really starting to come around, largely because he is so sweet and doesn't hold me to any of the ridiculous standards that I do. I used to get really angry when he would say sweet things (which is totally messed, I know), but I'm no longer tossing my cookies or foregoing food entirely. I hate thinking that I needed a man to do this, and I really believe that people cannot fix us, that we need to heal ourselves yadda yadda, but you know, I think it really helped having a voice saying sweet things to counter all of the negative self-talk I had going on (like "oh my god, my grandfather has bigger breasts than me." which, lol, is true tongue.gif ).

Aha, last night my bff and I were reminiscing about our first bra buying experience, we bought matching ones, and she was going on about how she had just found hers and how small and cute it looked, etc. I think she felt kind of bad when I told her I still hadn't (and probably won't ever) grown into mine. Aha, I felt so cheated by life when I realized that I was never going to grow "real" breasts
dj-bizmonkey
here's a slightly disjointed clip of that documentary that vendetta mentioned: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=flat...mp;sitesearch=#
karategrrl
"i participated in some research on body image and bi/gay women recently - anyone got any thoughts on whether being bi or gay helps you to distance yourself somewhat from societal pressure to look a certain way?"

I'm bi and I absolutely have not felt with women the pressure to look a certain way--as I have with men my whole life. Especially, I noticed this with the breast size issue--I definetely feel women (whether they themselves had small or larger breasts), appreciated my breasts generally more than any man ever did. One woman was constantly down or up my shirt the second we were alone--whenever, wherever. It stroked my ego in a huge way! No man was ever so enthused about them.

It was women who gave me a couple of the biggest physical compliments of my entire life: "I love your breasts," and "Your body is a work of art!"

The "out" gay/bi women I knew, I would say, were generally more accepting of their bodies than most straight women I've known. It was refreshing, and I wonder if it was at least in part due to already embracing a sexual orientation and overall lifestyle that challenged the norm; to go one step further and accept the whole physical package was just part of accepting the whole self and basically telling the world, "Fuck it, this is who I am!"

I also think women who love women are much more accepting of body types--heavy, etc--and therefore those within that community must not feel as much pressure to look a certain way as stright women do. I think gay women generally are more accepting of variations in women's bodies than men, and find many more female body types beautiful. I never saw one implanted women in the gay clubs, as least that I could tell. (Go to any meat-market straight club and it's all around.)

But just to confuse the issue, I will, however, say that I have noticed some pressure within the gay/bi community, surprisingly, to look a certain way--to adhere to a "butch" look if you are lesbian, for example. One gay aquaintance was pretty feminine and she told me she was often criticized by other lesbians for wearing pretty jewelry, feminine clothing, that sort of thing. As someone new to the gay scene at that time, I found it surprising that among gay people--who I thought would have had enough being judged--would judge others within the gay community like that.

Sorry for rambling--I'm a little hung over. wink.gif
strongirl
I'm somewhat bi also and my last sexual encounter with women gave me an interesting insight on the boob size issue. My boyfriend has always said that for him, it's not the size of the breast that is sexy but the way the woman responds when they are being stimulated that turns him on. (That's part of what he likes about me - I have extremely sensitive and responsive tits and can occasionally come just from breast stim.)

Anyway, in this encounter I was with two women, one of whom has large natural breasts. I'd never been with a woman with big boobs before and I was curious how I'd react - hugest turn on ever? ho-hum? icky gross? - I had no idea beforehand. It was exactly like he says! At first I was sort of curious about them, kind of just working them over with more of a scientific interest than anything. But as we both got more turned on I completely forgot about their size. It just wasn't an issue! What mattered, and what was turning me on, was figuring out what she liked and doing more of it. Biting? Oh she doesn't like biting, I'll stop. Sucking like a baby? Ooooh, she's grooving on that, I'll do more. Oh yeah, she really likes that. Ohhhh, yeah, mmmmm....

Exactly like my boyfriend says. It's not the size. It's the woman's response.

Vendetta
I've been trying to go back time and once in a while my boobs had been part of our sex life. I expected some excitement, like, i haven't seen your boobs for ages and i'm so glad i do now, but... nop. We talked about it today, he says he was just being patient when I expected him to be crazy about it. So he thinks we have to start over again. Yep, maybe he's right. I'll probably think he's just doing that cause I asked him to.
knorl05
havent done my reading in this thread yet this week.
but just wanted to share something rather or slightly disturbing.
my recently trashed 3-yo waterbra... after being washed and worn one too many times (the inner pocket broke and the "liquid" oozed out). i cut the back off to see what was going on inside... well, see for yourselves. ewww.

karategrrl
Hey Knorl,

Ew is right!

Not to implant-bash, but this pic is very similar to ones I've seen of implants gone wrong--all can look well on the outside, but inside there could be fungus, a capsule forming, leaks, etc. At least this was only inside your bra, not your body.
Vendetta
What the hell is that?! lol
neurotic.nelly
Gross out!

Check these stats:

More than 300,000 women in the U.S. had implants last year, that's around 30,000 per month, most of these women are under the age of 21 years old. This surgery has become a very popular graduation present for young women.

Not that there is anything wrong with breast implants, I mean, If you don't mind having something like gross out in your body, by all means.
little kat
Hi
I'm new here, can I join your thread? I am sick of feeling so down on myself and would love a bit of support from some like minded people.
xxx
crinoline
Welcome, little kat! You should go ahead and introduce yourself in the Newbie Thread .
karategrrl
Welcome, little kat!! Come on out and play! laugh.gif
starship
Where are you alllll
Ive noticed I only post in here when Im having a low moment boob-wise (with the exception of now). Although I still read up whenever Im online
Not really thought about boobs much lately. The only moments that come to mind are the odd jealous glare at various blessed chests. Im pretty sure an extra cup or two would perfect me. Well, imperfectly perfect

A rather large breasted lady was on tv and the person watching with me said "look how huge her boobs are. Disgusting". I know there are many things wrong with the comment etc etc but I have to confess it made me feel a tiny bit good. (And then guilty...)

Hi Kat! please come again:)

Even though you described what that picture is Knorl, I still find myself squinting at it thinking 'what the hell'. Looks like an actual breast exploded rather than the bra:/

Im a little tipsy, sorry
karategrrl
Hi ladies, thought I'd pass this on:

The new itty bitty bra company specializes in AA, A and B sizes ONLY. They were mentioned in Redbook magazine.

The down side is, they are currently only sold in just a few U.S. stores and they don't have internet ordering up yet (they say they're going to have that function soon). they should really move their asses with that because I'm dying to try these. The cute leopard print bra is $55,--way more than I'd usually pay for a damn bra--but still, it's nice to see a company trying to cater to us for a change.

http://www.ittybittybra.com/
Vendetta
So there we are, being intimate, and he is paying way more attention to my boobies than he has ever had before. Probably because we talked about it a few days ago. And he's grabing and grabing and I change my position so that he can grab a little bit more, my boobie is slipping from his hand and he keeps trying. My skin is turning red and I'm kinda hurt but too ashamed to say anything, so he grabs my two boobies in one hand and I feel even worse. Both of them fit perfectly in just one of his hands. But then he hurts me even more and I have to ask him to be more careful with them, so he goes back to just one boobie that keeps slipping away from his hand, constantly. He comes. I look in the closet mirror and I still don't recognize my reflection anymore.

I can't force him to love' em. He says he loves them, that I'm perfect but he has once wished I was bigger. So he can't convince me that he doesn't anymore. I know that when there is love, those things don't matter. But I've seen his eyes glow with a glance at a big chest. His eyes never did that with mine and never will. I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with that.

XXX
little kat
Hi all
Ah God I am feeling so depressed, just been trying my tankini on for my hols and I look terrible in it. How many minutes a day do I spend obsessing about my body - ALOT! It's not healthy..what is wrong with me? Why can't I just be thankful for what I have, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, I have a beautiful baby - I should be happy.
I'm sure this topic has been done on here but how many of you have considered surgery? Why am I so jealous when I meet someone who's had a boob job when if I really wanted to I could do it too - I just don't want to. I don't want fake ones - I'd know they were fake and so would everyone else not to mention the risks but when I see how happy people are with the results I get so jealous and wish I had the balls or stupidity to do it. I'm not even an AA cup! Honestly I look awful - especially after having a baby where they ballooned to a huge D cup and now there is even less than what I started with and they have gone south too. I am so fed up of looking like a boy and starting at other women and wishing...
Do you know the other day I went for a walk with my son and I thought I'd play a little game in my head and count all the woman that were as small as me and do you know what - not one person had a small chest - everyone in the world is normal except for ME! Why did God make me this way? It's not fair and yes I know I sound self pitying and I'm sorry for being such a moaner but I really need to get all this anger off my small little chest :-(
little kat
Meant to say thanks for the welcome smile.gif and Vendetta I too remember many years ago when I first met my husband that he wished they were a little bigger and boy don't I just love to remind him of that now so when he tells me I'm fine the way I am I know he's lying. My hubby can't even grab anything - I am literally like an ironing board. I wonder if I could just have 100 babies so I could permanently have boobs laugh.gif
karategrrl
QUOTE(little kat @ Jul 10 2008, 11:00 AM) *
I'm sure this topic has been done on here but how many of you have considered surgery? Why am I so jealous when I meet someone who's had a boob job when if I really wanted to I could do it too - I just don't want to. I don't want fake ones - I'd know they were fake and so would everyone else not to mention the risks but when I see how happy people are with the results I get so jealous and wish I had the balls or stupidity to do it. ...I am so fed up of looking like a boy and starting at other women and wishing...
Do you know the other day I went for a walk with my son and I thought I'd play a little game in my head and count all the woman that were as small as me and do you know what - not one person had a small chest - everyone in the world is normal except for ME! Why did God make me this way? It's not fair and yes I know I sound self pitying and I'm sorry for being such a moaner but I really need to get all this anger off my small little chest :-(


Ahhhh yes, I know only too well exactly what you are saying. Yes, when I see others with fake boobs I, too, must deal with my conflicting emotions:

1. Disdain for the procedure and the fact that altering one's body so drastically to fit some idiotic "ideal" has become so unbelievably mainstream and acceptable.

2. Being jealous and wishing I could be dumb enough to do it. After all, then I'd have bigger breasts, even if they were fake! After all, having fake breasts is now so very mainstream and acceptable!

3. Longing for some safer, less risky procedure whereas I'd have larger--yet REAL breasts. (I don't want bigger fake ones, I want bigger REAL ones--with my own tissue, not foreign bodies.)

Note: This is where I find myself saying, "C'mon, scientists, we have iPods, pocket computers, vaccines against disease and pills that make men hard...where is the daily "add-a-cup size" pill? Or monthly injection to stimulate mammary gland growth?

4. Etc. etc. etc.

Remember, little kat, that yes, many women are happy with the results, but for how long? Eventually, EVERY set of implants must be replaced. Actually, about every ten years. So, one is guaranteed tons of pain, more scars and surgery at least a few times in her life--and that is assuming all goes well and no corrective surgery is needed. (Just a side--both women I've known who had it done needed corrective surgery.) Also, one must wait several months after the procedure for the implants to "fall" and look more natural and less like softballs glued to a wall. AND the implants must be massaged EVERY DAY FOR LIFE to help prevent capsular contraction (which could very well happen anyway). Being happy with the results also means dealing with all that, and I think that's a lot.

And yes, I do feel your pain too with walking down the street and noting not one other small-breasted woman. Then again, don't assume all those women you see are natural! wink.gif

Go ahead and moan away, hon. This is the place!


"get all this anger off my small little chest"

I am NOT making fun of you, but that was a cute comment! laugh.gif
little kat
Ah Karategrrl I loved your post, thank you so much, wow it really feels good to talk to people that feel the same way as I do. Maybe we could create a new street and if we all lived in it then us small girls would be the norm lol.
Your views on surgery are exactly the same as me and you have just made me even more determined not to do it, I guess it always looks like roses but like you say I bet the majority of those women have problems with their implants at one time or another but they're not going to go round shouting it from the rooftops are they cause then everyone will say 'I told you so'. Maybe one day those scientists will come up trumps for us.
And yeah I do try to say to myself that some of those women could be wearing a hefty padded bra like I do!
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