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maimy
D'OH - double post. I swear, my password was typed incorrectly the first time!
natulik
Not sure where this should go. Because it wasn't really a date. And it wasn't really THAT idiotic, but I though of Bust the minute he said it, so must share.

this is with a fuckfriend who is actually a really really good friend now. He dropped by without warning while I was going to watch 4 chickflicks in a row to get over a bad moodswing.

me (pms'ing like a monster, half-crying over nothing): I hate the world, it's turning against me, everyone's ignoring me, I haven't seen you in ages.

him: are you girlying on me? (with a french accent)

And now I'm not sure what to make of it. Because it's funny. Yet idiotic and somewhat infuriating.
stillveryangry
well, I don't know what it means either but I think it's hot.
littleidiot
Ok, the best line I've heard after what was very mediocre sex (with someone I luckily didn't really care for):
He rolls off me, panting--heavy smoker--and says:
"That was a lot of work."

WTF?? I don't know what he was used to but...
It's too bad he did so much work because it didn't work very well for me!!
yesitsreal
My first date met my Dad and told him "I like scary movies the best because then girls grab you."
katiebelle2882
hahahahaha yesitsreal, what did papa-bear say after THAT admission!
seraphine
My ex had a bit of a spelling problem. Be it through IM, e-mail or letter, he would always call me "sweatie."
venetia
hahahaha
coppergonzo
I once had a guy tell me on the first date:
"I don't think I've had enough sex for my age."
What does age have to do with it and what do you want me to do about that?
kittenbonanza
I was being really whiny the other day about how much weight I've gained and I called myself a cow. My boyfriend replied, very literally, that any cow that weighed as much as I did would be pretty darned malnourished. "Okay, then I'm a pig," I said. His reply?
"You're too fat to be a pig!"
Just what every girl wants to hear!
bella_coola
Ok, I've got a few:

I was 16 or so, and was fooling around with a boy that slept over one night that my folks were out. He says 'I think it needs some oral stimulation' hahaha

Went out on a date a few months ago. He asks 'So do you cook?' so I reply 'Yeah, do you do dishes?'

Then this one, on more than one occasion (more than one guy, too): how many orgasms did you just have? HA. ha HA HA
crimsoncigar
"Your sister is hot. She's like your typical hot girl on tv!" ummm thanks

"you look like this girl i dated, only when she was 18 and really skinny. But I dated her when she was older... it was after she got a boob job and was really hot"
Basically, he told me he dated the hot version of me before

"I can't believe I just orgasmed! And I'm not ashamed because it felt so good" (This was the first time we had hooked up, had only been kissing a little while, he came in his pants, announced the above, then proceeded to go to sleep...yeah...too bad I didn't enjoy it as much as he apparently did)

"I wouldn't be attracted to you if you cut your hair short"

bklynhermit
please tell me this isn't all attributable to one guy.
crimsoncigar
Hey Bklynhermit, gladly the quotes were not all attributed to one guy... However, I don't think that makes me feel better because that means I've dated several people not worth my time as opposed to one...
auralpoison
Okay. This was so weird. My neighbor asked me up to see his new place. I go up, we watch videos. He pulled his chair over to mine & I kept catching him looking at me. Finally he leaned over & asked me if I have my period. I'm like what? Why? He claimed my energy was different. It freaked me out.
pepper
it's 'cause you got some. emanating the hot sex vibe.
sassygrrl
Pepper's right! I've noticed men looking very different at me since I've got all the crush vibes going on, and getting sex somehow sends some sort of signal to them..... Still don't know about the period, did he want period sex?

liberate
here's one: this is my live in boyfriend... things are kinda slowing down for us.

me: "hey, wanna go lie down?" eyebrow raise...
him: "yeah! lets go watch the space launch!"
me: different kind of eyebrow raise
sixelacat
I think the sex pheromone we release must simultaneously trigger their reptilian brain and kill the language center. I bet I could get a grant to study that....
auralpoison
OMG! I never even thought of that! Getting the boots knocked but good & with regularity always improves my mood. That HAS to be it! I was just so shocked last night. I was like, hmmmmm? Did I start & not realize it? I mean, I've got a week & a half at least according to my calculations. Is there blood all over my ass? I came home & everything was fine, but I've been feeling weird about it ever since.

Keep in mind that I have accused this fellow of having been raised by wolves as he has ZERO manners.
citrussss
The more i think about this the worse it sounds...


after a drawn out Bj on a boytoy...

"wow, you were pretty determined there weren't you"




um....?
ms.gb
ok...i've gotten that one too....

like, i can stop...really.....i have WAYYYYY BETTER things to do than bland popsicle sucking...really.

what an ass.
ironyfetish
a guy i had dated for years and i decided to "take a break" but ended up having sex during the "break" anyway. however during this time he had an affair with a friend of ours who already had a long term boyfriend.

so anyway the first time we had sex after not seeing each other for a month while i finished a semester of college i get naked and he asks me if i have gained weight.

i reply "no" actually i lost 15 pounds that month by training for a 10k.

he said, "oh i am just used to having sex with [ friend's name ] and she is a lot skinnier than you."

the best part about this, is that she is only a tiny bit skinnier than me.
phatttkattt
OMFG can you guys believe this loser???

what a jerkoff.
lol.... all i can do is laugh. you gotta love guys like this. and they wonder why they have so much trouble with women!!
bonchicfeministe
Scenario 1: Me, sitting on a couch at a friend of a friend's apartment with a blanket over me.
Random Guy: "Boy, I wish I were that blanket becuase then I'd be on top of you"

Scenario 2: Out at a swanky bar with a girlfriend, having some drinks. Rich Irish man 30+ years older than me offers to buy us drinks, which I politely refuse. His reponse? A charming declaration of how " American girls are so awful, especiallky these terrible, terrible New England girls. So unfriendly, and really just nasty things. My god, you are just a cold bitch aren't you?"


Keep the charm coming gentlemen!
maimy
Interesting Snopes piece on the J-Date guy:

http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/paydate.asp
sesame
Oh, I am sad to tell you that this particular idiotic thing was said to me not by a date, or even an ex-, but by my husband yesterday. We were in the car, and a woman crossed the street in front of us at a corner. She was wearing very chunky high-heeled clog type shoes and was walking with that awkward, toe-first strut that says "I don't wear these shoes very often."

Hubby says, "Why do women walk like that? Is it because of the high heels?" "Yeah, probably," I replied. Says he, "Oh. Well you never see, like, Victoria's Secret models walking like that, and they're usually wearing high heels."

I had to patiently explain to my neanderthal mate that Victoria's Secret models are PAID to be able to walk like that in high heels, probably do so every day, and that if he was going to make a habit of comparing the average woman on the street to a Victoria's Secret model, he'd better be prepared to be disappointed most of the time. rolleyes.gif
venetia
slightly off topic but fwiw, as far as I can ascertain the Jdate thing most likely wouldn't stand up under NZ contract law.

Sesame did you ask your husband if HE can walk in high heels? smile.gif He should try it sometime.
whino
The last guy I dated would grab my arm on a regular basis and say "you're soft as baby shit, you need to workout." Real charmer, that one.
auralpoison
ARGH! This isn't so much about a date/what he said to me, but what he said to others around me. I only came here because boys are dumb is no longer.

I went over to grab breakfast with Jcrush as per routine. At one point he asked me if another local asked me out & I did I maybe shoot him down. Huh? I wasn't even sure who he was talking about, but after a few minutes we established that I had randomly conversed with the guy last weekend as two patrons are wont to do. Small talk at the bar. I didn't sense that he was interested, nor had I given him any indication that I was so inclined. No flirting/attraction/vibe. Nothin'. Apparently I started talking to other male patrons & he was *greatly* affronted & betrayed. Now I guess he's telling people that I'm a bitch & I'm mean. I'm not gonna dispute that (AP is a BFB!), but I resent the fact that I spoke to other men makes me so in his eyes. I guess as a single woman alone in a bar, I was there for his one & only amusement. I admit, I often flirt like a demon, but I have to actually find you interesting to do so.
datagirl
Ive been talking about this guy in the crush thread all week (yeah my appologies)

So last night I had my date in my car and we're approaching his apartment.He starts making funny sounds with his mouth.When I ask what he's doing he replies that he's practicing "drum sounds"
Then he starts to sing 'Who let the dogs out"
That's a whole night I'll never get back.......
kelkello
After waiting in agony for four days to get HIV test results back (and having nightmares of somehow not only having this disease but also giving it to my boyfriend who has four children...there I was picturing his orphaned children), my boyfriend informed me he was disappointed in my level of freaked-out-ed-ness while waiting for the results. He feels I overreacted and have done some real damage to the relationship with my selfishness. Hello, asshole. I was freaked out not because of the thought that I had it but because I was more concerned about giving it to him. The test was negative, by the way.
pepper
um, can you say 'boyrfriend's an asshole'?
HIV is pretty maude-damn serious joker, hell YEAH i was freaked out!
says a bit about him that he Wasn't. dude.
kelkello
QUOTE(pepper @ Aug 26 2006, 09:53 PM) *

um, can you say 'boyrfriend's an asshole'?
HIV is pretty maude-damn serious joker, hell YEAH i was freaked out!
says a bit about him that he Wasn't. dude.


It's a tough realization that your boyfriend's an jackhole. He says I took a crisis that we should have handled together and made it about me. I think he forgot the whole me freaking out because I was terrified I gave it to him.
pepper
he's accusing you of being selfish while what he's doing is totally selfish (only looking at it from his perspective, invalidating your feelings, guilt tripping you, projecting). i'm not saying that he's being a jerk on purpose but that isn't an excuse, just a reason. lots of guys are inherently jerky without ever even trying at all. he is prolly great in lots of other ways, else you wouldn't be wasting your time with him but in this way he's a big ole jack.
kelkello
I think the only thing he is right about in this situation is that he was prolly worried too about it, and I didn't think of that. I thought I was doing enough worrying for the both of us. Turns out the guy who seems to be unflappable all the time can be flapped. He's still being a jackhole, though. I think "permanent damage" is a bit dramatic.
knorl05
whino: WTF? how long you date that guy? i'd flick him in the forehead if he said that. jackass.

"what's wrong with your feet? they look all swollen.. they look like barney rubble feet" - nothing was wrong with them, i've just got fat feet.



bella coola
Well, not said by a date but by the guy I was in the sack with - there's actually been *more* than one that said this:

'How many orgasms did you just have??'



You're KIDDING me!!!
kelkello
Bella, if they have to ask...men are so clueless.
toastybean
"i cheat on all of my girlfriends, i always have, and i cant change"

hey, at least he was being honest before i found that out myself
sixelacat
Actually, even though he's spamming the whole board, whatever he said was probably appropriate in this thread. Assuming anyone would ever date him (not too likely).
bunnyb
me hearts sixelacat! made me snort!
dani837
Ahh I have so many of these stories...
one of the latest ones was with my ex. After having sex, we were talking about oral sex and I, as always, told him he sucked at giving oral sex(its not that he really sucks, but he thinks hes the SHIT and I HATE that, so this is a way of trying to take him down from his cloud) and he galantly, as always, said "No I don't! Everytime I go down on girls they come aaaaaaaaaaall over my face" (he said that while doing a gesture with his hands on his face). Needless to say I almost PUKED, and of course, I told him that they were probably peeing in his face, not coming cause nobody would come from his lousy oral sex techniques tongue.gif
toastybean
ha! dani that is so awesome! good for you for telling him off!
sassygrrl
Good for you dani.... smile.gif
princessinabox
Dani, that's great! Why is it that the ones who are the worst at it are all cocky and think they're the shit?
anoushh
Is asking how many orgasms you had the worst thing? I mean, I don't think it's always easy to tell, depending on how you respond. If it's in a scorekeeping way, yes, bad. But in a curious way, I've had that and not minded.

Anyway here's one:

"I think it's really terrible you don't shave your legs. And why don't you wear dresses?"
Not, I personally don't care for it, but "it's really terrible." And he meant it.

And where did he think all my dresses were all term before we ever went out?
At the dry cleaners?

Not surprisingly that progressed to "I think sex is overrated." Later I thought of the only appropriate reply, which was "If everyone did it the way you do, I"d have to agree."

I think this was all the same night. It was years ago. Thank god.
bella coola
Well.. it wasn't what they said so much as the arrogant way in which they said it. Especially when I didn't come close to one!

What a goon - glad you got him over with!
knorl05
*bump*

so. i met this guy about a year ago while i was a bartender at a hip swanky club. we had pretty good conversation, so i gave him my number. he called me, but for some reason i just didnt call him back. he called a few times, i ignored his calls. eventually he stopped calling.

so i'm working the door at a club/restaurant for my friend at his most recent party. hot guy walks in, and he's like, 'is your name..?' and i'm like 'yes'. and he tells me his name. and i remember who he was, i'm like, 'oooh yeah. hey. how you been?' and we talk for a minute, turns out he's an ER doc, which i dont seem to remember from our previous conversation. anyway... the point is... he's like, "i'm meeting a friend up here tonight (obviously for a date), so i'm going to pay her cover too. but dont worry, she's not my girlfriend. so you still have a chance."

ok. what? yeah, NOW i remember why i didnt return your calls. get over yourself guy.
pherber
OMG! I always wonder, why some guys have that completely unfounded confidence...

If this was a game, I'd probably win:

"I have a girlfriend in Australia, I wanna have babies with her!"
(First and last date, with a musician from Dublin)

"Ever had an enema? In India there's gurus, who can suck up water from a river.. it's an erotic experience... and also cleansing and spiritual..."
(Same guy, same date, yes, the date was in a restaurant.)




Worst.Date.Ever. mellow.gif
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