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Full Version: The Grody Gross-Out Sink Clogged with Phlegm and Toothpaste and Hair and Thread thread
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laurenann
i have a cyst on my arm right below my elbow. i got it cut out when i was a teenager, but it grew back. it's only like the size of a grape and i don't think people notice it unless i point it out. it hurts if i lean on it funny or when it's going to rain, but other than that it doesn't bug me. not very gross at all.

THAT was a gross, gross cyst. what about those people that have cysts and they find hair and teeth in them? and the cyst is the pieces of their parasitic twin? creeeepy.
pollystyrene
The hair and teeth thing are because a cyst is cells gone out of control (sounds like soft-core porn for nerds- "Cells Gone Wild!") and hair & teeth cells get mixed in there and do their thing, too.

The thing with removing cysts is that draining them isn't always enough- you also have to remove the sac that gets filled, otherwise it just fills back up.
mouse
you can predict the weather with your cyst, laurenann??? SO COOL
pollystyrene
I'm kind of disappointed there's no picture for this article. That's gotta be gross.
emlikesart
ooooooooooooooohhhh....Polly, that article made my eyes itch! blink.gif
culturehandy
Oh my.
deschatsrouge
I knew a guy who did that, he didn't have to have them surgically removed though. He was one of those people that frequently had febreeze sprayed on them at Japanimation Conventions.

On an unrelated note.

This probably crosses the gross out line but here it goes.

This morning after breakfast I went to the bathroom and took out my tampon and commenced the usual bathroom type activity. I felt something dangling between my legs (...thinking I did pull out my tampon, right?) so I tried to get it with toilet paper. No dice. Since I am a moron I had to feel what it was. It was a huge slimy leech sized blood clot that had formed above my tampon over night. It was just hanging there so I tugged on it and it came out in my fingers and slipped into to toilet with a splash. I looked at my hand and saw the dark red-almost-black residue on my hands and under my finger nails. After realizing the magnitude of the situation I had to look into the toilet to see the monstrous clot. Consequently I spent the next hour gagging and trying not to lose my breakfast.
treehugger
Egads, my internet connection is getting squiggy. I hope I can stay on long enough to post this.
hellotampon
Grossssssssssssss! Congratulations, treehugger, that didn't just curl my toes, it turned my stomach!

Also: umm, why on earth were cow intestines being trucked around to begin with? Where the hell were they going?
pollystyrene
I swear, 9 out of 10 "truck full of grossness tips its load on the highway" stories I hear are in Wisconsin!

My favorite was the truck full of monkey poo- about twice a year, at the Milwaukee Zoo, they drain all the ponds in the primate enclosure and all the nastiness goes into a truck and they drive it to some processing plant in the middle of the state. Well, after they'd only gotten about 5 miles from the zoo, the truck crashed and hundreds of gallons of water and monkey poop spilled out over the road and closed traffic for hours while they cleaned it up.

Blech. I'm going to stay away from big trucks of unidentifiable substances when I drive there.
treehugger
OMG polly....guess what?

Yours truly, MOI, has actually been PAID to repair...get this....




Yeah, wait a minute....





A monkey shit dehydrator. Yup. But it WAS clean when i got it.
crazyoldcatlady
so..........
what exactly does one need with dehydrated monkey shit that would necessitate a machine to do the work?
auralpoison
I know that the zoo in Wichita, KS, sells zoo poop as fertilizer.
pollystyrene
Too funny, treehugger. I bet it didn't get used right away because the poop was baking on, what's that highway around Milwaukee, 794? Oh yeah, I left out the best part- this was the summer cleaning and it was about 90 degrees out. ((pukey face))
treehugger
QUOTE(crazyoldcatlady @ Feb 11 2007, 06:13 PM) *

so..........
what exactly does one need with dehydrated monkey shit that would necessitate a machine to do the work?



I work at the university of wisconsin. The stuff I work on is lab equipment...apparently there's some experiments that involve monkey shit. I've also recently repaired a fly food cooker...which makes FOOD for fruit flies (also being used in a study.) And, a brain tissue slicer...heh.

Much, much medical research goes on here.

Actually, lots of grossness potential in my job! smile.gif
puppykitty
What treehugger forgot to tell you (she's so modest!) is that she actually invented the Maggot Incubator, for use in the maggot-fueled Pus-Eating Machine.

OK, just kidding.

But - was it here the I heard about people surviving in the wilderness with severe injuries because of maggots eating out the infections in their wounds until help arrived?

I have been picking my face like a mo-fo, and getting close to nothing. The other day, I had a little, hurty bump on my jaw, and squeezed with all my might. I got a little yellow rock, followed by a hard, white cylinder, followed by high-pressure clear fluid and later, clear fluid tinted with blood. Hey, that's something, right?

When I get anxious, I pick my face, and I won't give up until I harvest something. Sometimes I can hear myselft think, "I'll not stop until I get a squirter!" Makes for an exciting Saturday night. And a very attractive pepperoni pizza face.

I know this isn't that gross, but I thought I would report that in the past month, I have had to pluck dozens of long hairs from my chin. Most of them are white-ish blonde, but very thick and difficult to pull out, with a dark area going up from the root. Some of them are dark hairs. I have also been fighting with extra-long white eyebrow hairs. WTF? Is this a sign of aging? Duh?
auralpoison
Maggots, leeches & the like are invaluable medical tools. Maggots can clean up a wound in trice as they only eat dead flesh.

Me da had a strong beard. As a black man, he often had them curl into his face. My gran or I would spend time with a sewing needle gently working hairs out of his face before they got infected & caused an unsightly zit thing.
mornington
i get an ingrowing hair on my bikini line. it's really attractive.

treehugger... that's beyond disgusting.

i like to use the computer in the uni anatomy museum (it's quiet)... and someone decided to put them next to the reproductive organ jars. Nothing like trying to work with a pig penis looking over your shoulder.
treehugger
hehe mornington....eewwww. I've never seen one of those. I've heard that they're curly, like a corkscrew. Is that true?

And I can't take credit for any maggot fueled pus eating machine...but I'll have to see if I can invent one....

Okay, you got me started on grossness stories....how about the walk-in cold room, that some vet med research group owned and then they moved out of the state, and left it FULL of dead animal parts and tissues. And subsequently, the refrigeration part of it broke, just leaving the fans running in it....FOR THREE MONTHS before somebody discovered it. And fans over time in a closed space, generate heat so it was about 95 degrees fahrenheit in there, with it full of grossness.

I think some of the jars in there actually burst...

I'm sooooo glad I didn't have to go in there to fix it. Once I got the refrigeration going, we brought it down below freezing, so it wouldn't stink as badly for the cleanup crew. They brought haz-mat in....

PK, I started getting chin hairs when I was about 32 or so. I'd say, make an appointment for the laser clinic.....I'm definitely gonna check it out. It DOESN'T go away, it just gets more and more....at least in my case.
mouse
oh you who have never experienced the ingrown hair! what do you know of grossness, or satisfaction, or the shame of an unsightly bikini line??? FIE!
mornington
treehugger, they are... if the corkscrew doesn't "lock' into the sow's vagina, fertilization doesn't occur. sex ed for animals is fucking great.
mouse
oh dude

i totally thought tree was talking about ingrown hairs, not pig members. cos you know, they're curly, too.

nowhere else could i ever even have the chance of confusing the two ((((grossies)))
treehugger
hehe...I didn't realize you were aiming that ingrown hair spiel at ME, mousie. Re-reading my post, yeah, I guess I didn't clarify whether i was talking about pig penises....

and yes, only in here, can we have such conversations.

heh...and, I'm prone to ingrown hairs too. Just loooove those red pimply looking things.
mornington
*snorts*

i was sooo confused, mouse. biggrin.gif
lady_ell
Hey folks, long time no post. Like, um, maybe a year.
Shit.

Anyway.
I have an infected toe that has produced some very nasty green pus when I poke at it. It's under my toenail and it hurts like hell. I'm on antibiotics for it, and it's slowly working, but damn there's a lot of goop in there.

I also had tonsillitis and a simultaneous sinus infection in December and my snot was mauve and orange. I'd never seen anything like it. My tonsils were covered in white and green blisters and my throat swollen shut. I was fascinated by it, but otherwise very miserable.

Nothing else to report, really. I'm loving these archives!
puppykitty
Mauve snot...sounds absolutely lovely.

I have a new job, and I just met the pastry chef last week. He was complaining about how hot it was in the kitchen and how dusty it was outside and about the grit stuck to his skin. I told him about working as a bread baker, and about how my skin got really sweaty and greasy, then flour would stick to it and I could make a sort of dough out of the filth. He started laughing, and then I said, "You wouldn't believe the shit I could dig out of my nose during that time!"

As soon as I said it, I thought to myself that I shouldn't have, but the guy started laughing so hard, repeating, "I can relate! I can relate!" So I was relieved. He went on to describe the different kinds of snot and chunks he could blow out, then the assistant pastry chef joined in and talked about her rainbow colored snot that she would produce after using the airbrush.

Ahh. The pastry team bonding over boogers.

Something happened today that is a little bit gross, but mostly funny:

Banana's dog was about to jump on the couch. As soon as she thrusted herself up, she farted really loudly. The fart startled her, and she reached around and bit her own ass. Ha ha ha ha! She chased the fart!!!

However, not so funny or cute, there was the horrid, rotten dog fart stench for a few minutes afterward. Eew.
mouse
former cake decorator here, oh man i know about the multicolored airbrush boogers. woo!
auralpoison
Rainbow snot! Back in art school when I airbrushed I had it all the time. After time I noticed that all the non-smokers wore masks while the smokers did not. We would have these marathon rainbow snot rocket sessions outside in the smoking lounge.
mornington
I want rainbow snot. all i get is black snot from the pollution here.



There is a preserved two-headed cow about three feet from my desk. i took a picture of it. mind you, i take photos in dissection too *the shame* for revision. i label the fuckers.

treehugger
mornington, it'd be fun to swap stories with you about the freaky/weird things we see....cause you and i both know there's lots of weird things in the advanced educational setting! There's even some things that are too macabre/weird for me to post here in Grossies!

i have never had rainbow colored snot.....cool!! Like mornington, just black, gritty snot. Mine was from welding all day back in construction.

OMG PK, I almost laughed till I cried at the thought of that dog...hehe
auralpoison
Speaking of pig dicks...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nati...9_zoosex14.html
treehugger
Wow, I would SO go to one of those zoo sex exhibits....hehe smile.gif
laurenann
there was some sort of animal sex talk at the zoo in boston yesterday. kind of an alternative valentines day thing. i would have wanted to go, but i had to work. don't think it was quite an animal sex exhibit, though.

i watched jackass 2 yesterday. that was pretty gross.
girlygirlgag
big ol'zit

This is an oldie, but a Grossie Goodie! It makes me a little faint.
auralpoison
Y'know, what I find interesting about that clip is that it's about one of those supposed "psychic surgeons." When I was a kid, one of my dad's fave books was "Arigo: Surgeon of the Rusty Knife." He was a South American fella with no formal medical training that sometimes became "possessed" by a dead German surgeon & he performed all kinds of surgeries for the villagers. It's a crazy story.
treehugger
OH, grosssssss! My stomach is churning...congrats GGG!
txplumwine
PK, I just laughed so hard for so long that I woke up GameBoy. Awesome! I personally have made the cat jump with particularly loud farts.

I have a cold but there's not much in the way of snot grossness yet. Great boogers, though. I've started noticing multi-colored flecks in them when I knit a lot.
herculesgirl
I went out in my backyard the other day with my dog, while he did his filthy, filthy business. I hadn't been in the backyard in awhile, and I spotted something grey and fuzzy in the grass, about the size, shape, and color of a dead squirrel. "Oh noes," I think, "A dead squirrel. I'd better get a shovel and get it out of here so my dog doesn't eat it/roll in it/try to bring it inside." I grabbed the shovel and went over, and to my sheer horror, it was not a dead squirrel, but a massive pile of dogshit covered with long, thick, fuzzy grey mold.

I stared at it in utter fascination for at least five minutes, completely unable to resist the urge to poke it with a stick.
pollystyrene
eww, hecules- you'd think it would break down too soon to grow mold.

My sister got my dog to sit in her lap while she was sitting in my desk chair at the computer. My dog's ass was right up against the arm rest...I wasn't too worried about it, I was just going to wipe it off after he got down. Then she started saying that his breath stank lie a fishy crotch smell. We realized that it wasn't his breath and the armrest had prodded some anal sac juice out and it was on the arm rest. I went and got the bleach spray and wiped it down. Ew.
culturehandy
GGG, oh fuck, oh fuck, that is, oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I just about threw up. Now all I can see is. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
sixelacat
WOW GGG! Y'know, the first squeezy bit was just awesome, I was *almost* jealous (c'mon, everybody here would LOVE to squeeze something like that!), but it wasn't truly cringe-worthy until they started tugging at it with those forcep thingies......"the patient becomes uncomfortable and the surgeon suggests that she pray"....does my yelling Oh Holy Mother of God! count?
mouse
holy christ ggg i almost hurled the entire time. especially when they SCOOPED THE PUS AND BLOOD OFF WITH A SPOON. looks like mayonnaise and ketchup!

but yeah, helluva squeeze.

oh god.

HURL.
culturehandy
I still can't get it out of my head!!!!! Oh goodness.

*scurries off to the washroom to throw up*
zoya
**delurks**

I have a cast iron stomach, and love gross stuff, but that zit video is the one thing that has ever completely gotten to me. I watched it the first time someone posted it on here, and I could only get to the part where it first starts coming out hard, like toothpaste coming out of the tube, before I started gagging and had to turn it off.

it was my undoing. and I too, can't even get that little bit out of my head, months later. bleh!
culturehandy
It's like a train wreck! I couldn't even finish watching it! I'll never buy tubed tooth paste again. EVER. I will buy it that snazzy little bottle.

Yup, so my own undoing, I watched it again. FARK! Oh, how could that person stick....blech. At least I now know how it ends. My dinner was sooooo close to coming up. I mean, I was gagging. It's my own darned fault.

I cross posted in the would you rather thread!
treehugger
LOL...the part that got to me, like Mouse, was the part where it was sorta hard and they scraped it up and it looked like mayo and ketchup....and the part where I really, really almost lost it was the last bit, where....uh, just, eeeew...

soooooo gross.

I gotta say, this one, if there's a Grossness Award, this one's a contender.
zoya
I can't do it. I just cannot even try to watch it again. like I said, I finally found my grossness threshold. yuck.
laurenann
i'm a total skeptic, so i think that video is fake. like the scene in the andy kaufman movie.
culturehandy
Even if it is fake, that is pretty gross. Blech.
laurenann
grossie confession: the smell when i floss my teeth is soo satisfying.
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