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culturehandy
AP, I think that would be pretty freakin' cool!

I'm sorry for your loss. ((((AP))))
konphusion26
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puppykitty
I brought this up about quite a while back, this interesting phenomenon, and I haven't experienced it again until recently.

It's ass jelly. When I take a dump, then wipe, there's this yellowish brown gel on the tp. Someone in here said it's some kind of natural lube for your butt to get the poop out.

I can't stop pooping today, and it's super gassy. Smells like rotten eggs mixed with "somebody just lit a match". Yucky.

The other day, I felt like I needed to fart really bad, and I just knew that it wouldn't be pretty. So I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet just before my ass exploded. I'm so glad I didn't try to just fart, because it would have been messy and I was at work. But the pressure and subsequent explosion was so powerful, that I likened it to a big explosion in a movie, with the hero just barely making it out alive, flying through the air in front of the fireball, screaming. Maybe like Bruce Willis in Diehard movies.

I have been having major acne on my face, and I just make matters worse because I can't stop picking. I love to pick. IT's so satisfying. There is a huge zit between my eye and the bridge of my nose that is big, round, red, and shiny. I can see it protruding in the inside corner of my eye all the time.

I really want to pop it, but all I get is a little bit of clear fluid weeping out of it. I'm hoping that it will ripen into a mirror-splattering good time. A girl can dream, can't she?
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(puppykitty @ Dec 17 2007, 03:25 AM) *
I brought this up about quite a while back, this interesting phenomenon, and I haven't experienced it again until recently.

It's ass jelly. When I take a dump, then wipe, there's this yellowish brown gel on the tp. Someone in here said it's some kind of natural lube for your butt to get the poop out.

I can't stop pooping today, and it's super gassy. Smells like rotten eggs mixed with "somebody just lit a match". Yucky.

The other day, I felt like I needed to fart really bad, and I just knew that it wouldn't be pretty. So I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet just before my ass exploded. I'm so glad I didn't try to just fart, because it would have been messy and I was at work. But the pressure and subsequent explosion was so powerful, that I likened it to a big explosion in a movie, with the hero just barely making it out alive, flying through the air in front of the fireball, screaming. Maybe like Bruce Willis in Diehard movies.


LMAO Pk
auralpoison
Ah, rectal mucus. We couldn't move the mail without it.

Such a delightful, disgusting, helpful thing mucus is. From your nose, from your pussy, from your ass, it's a life saver.

Poor PK & her blockbuster, action-packed ass. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker, indeed!

Somebody in here mentioned using Instead or the Diva cup & the noticing of clots. I'd never really thought about inspecting the contents until it was mentioned & now I do it every time. Holy mackerel! I let fly with a doozy today! I swear, the thing was a little bigger than a golf ball!

On the same topic, I am glad that I have gotten the hang of things so I don't look like I've comitted a violent murder when I exit a public stall.
konphusion26
QUOTE(puppykitty @ Dec 16 2007, 10:25 PM) *
I brought this up about quite a while back, this interesting phenomenon, and I haven't experienced it again until recently.

It's ass jelly. When I take a dump, then wipe, there's this yellowish brown gel on the tp. Someone in here said it's some kind of natural lube for your butt to get the poop out.

I can't stop pooping today, and it's super gassy. Smells like rotten eggs mixed with "somebody just lit a match". Yucky.

The other day, I felt like I needed to fart really bad, and I just knew that it wouldn't be pretty. So I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet just before my ass exploded. I'm so glad I didn't try to just fart, because it would have been messy and I was at work. But the pressure and subsequent explosion was so powerful, that I likened it to a big explosion in a movie, with the hero just barely making it out alive, flying through the air in front of the fireball, screaming. Maybe like Bruce Willis in Diehard movies.

OMG girl I thought it was just me!! LOL I get that stuff too sometimes. I thought i was sick or something. I was so close to calling the doc! LOL and I am crying laughing at the azz explosion. You are too much!!! HAHAHAH!!
konphusion26
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pollystyrene
Yeah, konphusion- I work at the front desk of a dental office and there are stories of plaque I could tell you that would make your ears curl. By relying on just Listerine, he's probably doing more damage than not brushing at all- not only is he not getting rid of build-up (just covering up the problem), he's actually screwing up the enzymes in his mouth that would naturally prevent cavities (Listerine is really too strong for daily use.) Yuck. Tell him that it's a lot cheaper to brush and get regular cleanings than to not brush and end up with a root canal, possible extraction, then an implant/bridge, whatever- you're looking at thousands of dollars, per tooth, plus time and pain.

LeBoy doesn't brush as much as he should (only in the morning, not before bed) and he hasn't had a cleaning in over 18 months, and it's getting really bad. I've been avoiding any close contact with his mouth for the past couple months, but before that, I'd always make him use Listerine as part of our pre-coitus ritual. No way he was getting near my girl bits with that mouth. Now, he's not getting near them, Listerine or not.

Yeah, need to put him in the schedule for a cleaning. rolleyes.gif
konphusion26
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pollystyrene
Wow, no dentist since he was a kid? Did he have a bad experience? Was his family poor? All totally valid reasons not to go to the dentist, but at some point you've got to suck it up and go. If you can talk him into going, make sure the dentist does sub-gingival cleanings- that means they go below the gumline. If the cleaning lasts less than an hour, they're not doing it right. At this point, he'll probably have to have root planings (also called scalings)- that's where they have to go so far below the gumline that he'll have to be numb.

Eeek. Keep this in mind- cavities are bacteria based, so they're contagious between anyone the infected has oral contact with. So no matter how clean your mouth is, if you're kissing him (and anything beyond), all those germs are getting in your mouth (or wherever) too. We've had patients who have had chronic infections, even after we've treated them. Then we see their significant other, find out they've got loads of problems, treat those and suddenly they're both fine.
quietmadness
KONFUSION--I know sort of what you mean. My old man won't go to the dentist either. Hasn't been in probably 14-15 years. He'll brush his teeth though. Sometimes he doesn't---which I fucking hate. It's lazy, disrespectful and slothlike. Ass hole men.

He's got a beautiful shape of teeth, and they're reasonably straight and all, but after no cleanings/dental visits/shinings, etc....they've gotten all yellow/orange colored. Which totally sux because he is indeed a handsome man if he'd keep himself up.

I've tried begging, making appointments for him, blah...blah...blah. Nothing works. He just won't go. dry.gif

Any suggestions anyone?????

--Quiet--
konphusion26
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culturehandy
I get that some people are terrified of dentists, but think about not going and the consequences there. eeeep.

I haven't been to the dentist since October 2006 (hey, my insurance ran out!) I'm going in January...joy of joys.
lananans
I also hate the dentist. With a passion. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick, actually.
pollystyrene
Aww, a PostSecret for the grossies:
mouse
ah, polly, you beat me to it!! ahahah
culturehandy
I was thinking about how everyone would like that when I read postsecret yesterday!!!
crazyoldcatlady
kon- people like to think that what goes on in their mouth stays in their mouth, i.e. that dental hygiene has no impact on the rest of their health. in fact, poor dentition can lead to a slew of other, more systemic issues; anywhere from gingivitis to periodontal disease to endocarditis.

as to how to get him to the dentist? does he really not want to go because he doesn't care, or is there another reason?
pollystyrene
Thanks for reminding me of that aspect, COCL. We've had a patient partially lose their sight because of a mouth infection they neglected to get treated.
konphusion26
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konphusion26
What about Bartholin's cysts "down there"?? I think I may have one, either that or another really painful ingrown hair. I discovered it yesterday in the shower. OUCH.
tankgirl
QUOTE(konphusion26 @ Dec 30 2007, 08:31 PM) *
What about Bartholin's cysts "down there"?? I think I may have one, either that or another really painful ingrown hair. I discovered it yesterday in the shower. OUCH.


I had one, if you look a few pages back you can probably find my post in here about it. The MOST PAINFUL thing I have ever gone through. But I hear that it isn't all that painful to most people, and they actually live with them like normal. If you do think you have one, go to the doctor asap because it might get worse daily like mine did, owie!

P.S. yesterday I took a bite of my muffin and it was moldy, I threw up allllllllllllllllll day...
konphusion26
QUOTE(tankgirl @ Dec 31 2007, 12:14 AM) *
I had one, if you look a few pages back you can probably find my post in here about it. The MOST PAINFUL thing I have ever gone through. But I hear that it isn't all that painful to most people, and they actually live with them like normal. If you do think you have one, go to the doctor asap because it might get worse daily like mine did, owie!

P.S. yesterday I took a bite of my muffin and it was moldy, I threw up allllllllllllllllll day...


Oh my! I've had them before, but just shrugged them off as ingrowns. And they usually go away after a day or so of opening it up with a sterilized needle, then cleaning it with alcohol/peroxide. It doesn't really bother me after that.

But MOLD bothers me blink.gif OMG that is awful! I have been squeamish of mold in any form ever since I moved from my first apartment. I had a mold outbreak in the walls-- uuuuuuuuugh! and it makes me nauseous to even think about it. For you to have bitten into it mama, oh gosh! I bet you did throw up all day.
log
Thank you for finally solving the mystery of the little white nuggets that appear in the back of my throat. I never knew what they were 'til I found this thread.

I have many many revolting stories to share but I will spread out the goodness so you don't get tired of me too quickly.

I got married a couple of months ago and wore, for the first time, those boob stickers that are supposed to do something but I'm not sure what, because they didn't do much for me. Anyway, it's a pretend bra. I had a hell of a time getting them on and they ended up sort of wrinkly but my dress was pretty thick so you couldn't tell. It was a dancing wedding and by the time it was all over after four hours of shakin it I was beat, all disheveled with aching dirty feet and b.o. - it was a great time. It wasn't a do-me-now-baby kind of wedding night since all either of us wanted was a shower, so I went into the bathroom and took off the dress and was amused by my wrinkly boob stickers and thought, will this hurt?, and ripped them off at the same time - KAPOW! This liquid sprays all over the room. It was like my breasts were giant whiteheads that exploded all over the mirror. The wrinkles in the stickers had filled up with sweat like little reservoirs.

Oh, can you imagine if I tried to take them off in the heat of passion? Poor new husband. As it is, I made him come look at the mess I made and my wrinkly boobs, which looked a lot like pruney toes. Sexxxxy.
beck
omg i have never really looked on this thread before but it made me laugh out loud! i started reading the old posts and am actually going to ration myself to a few pages at a time to spread out the funny!

and also informative as i too have wondered for years what those tonsil things are, and at last i know. used to get them a lot after i had glandular fever and tonsilitis. not often now though but eating baked beans or rice sometimes gives me them. the link to the ginormous one that polly posted was pure revolting EEEEEWWWWW!
konphusion26
I HAVE A F'ING Mouse in my apartment. How did the little bastard get in here first of all. And how am I going to get his little nasty azz out???? OMG I got up on one of my insomniac food searches, and found little black pellets on my countertop. I'm from the country so I'm no stranger to what that is. BUT, I've never had mice in an apartment. And when I was living back at home, I had cats so they took care of all that. WTF???? I cannot live with mice. ANY SUGGESTIONS??????
pollystyrene
Yes, konphusion- don't waste your time with the humane catch and release traps, if you were thinking of doing so. I had mice, hamsters, rats, gerbils, etc. as a kid so the thought of killing them, even if they were the wild, disease-laden kind, was too painful to think about. I got the humane traps, put peanut butter and almonds in them. They sat there for a week, no mice.

Once I started finding droppings in my bed, I decided I needed to bring out the big guns and I gave in and got the old-fashioned snap-the-neck traps. Put two next to each other with the "bait" end against the wall (two because they can jump over one, but usually not two). We put them in about 8 spots around the house and we've only caught two mice. However, now that we've had a cat for a little over a week, and he's already detected the mousey presence, he's pretty intent on getting rid of them. I think just him being here is enough to scare them away and I haven't seen any new evidence of them in several days.

Log, that was a good story- you never know what to expect when someone's first (and so far only sad.gif ) post is in this thread, but that was good!
anarch
You're reminding me about the time my parents laid snap traps out and in the middle of the night, when I was in the basement working on a paper, I heard a snap and a clatter from upstairs, and then a sort of dragging sound. After trying to figure out what it was for 10 minutes, I went upstairs. It was a mouse who'd got his tail or foot or something caught in the trap, and he was dragging it around with him trying to get to a closet to hide. I didn't know what to do. I went to my parents' room and poked my dad until he was semi-awake.

"Dad, dad, there's a mouse in the trap but he's still alive."

He was pretty groggy but got up, put on a glove, picked up the trap, brought it outside, took a broom from the corner and started whacking the shit out of the mouse. My brother came back from a night on the town in the middle of it, probably stoned the poor bastard (what a scene to walk into when you're stoned), and said, "What the fuck are you doing??!!"

Anyway, not really gross-out material, but surreal. Dealing with an infestation later, the pest control guy put glue traps down, and for those I stuck the glued mice in a plastic bag and hooked the bag up to my car's tailpipe and turned the car on for 10 minutes. Yeah I know, glue traps aren't humane, and I'm never using them again, but at the time we didn't know better and were desperate (cod knows how many there really were but the pest control guy said he dispatched 8 running around in just one box). I used to think mice were cute but not since having to clean up after infestations in two garages and a basement, the little fuckers.

I've since read on the internet that some people try to drown incompletely-killed mice in buckets, but the mice try to swim, of course, which can be hard to watch.
shinyx3
i am not sure that this really goes in this thread but the mice stories remind me of one of my own. we live out in the woods and our home is not very well sealed so occasionally we have mice and have to trap them. we use the spring traps and there is usually no problems. but like anarchs story we had one that got caught in the trap by its foot. i was completely horrified by the whole thing (poor mousey and all with its caught foot and did it hurt etc) so at this point i have to tell you that hubby is a neuroscientist and does quite a bit of research on mice and therefore has plenty of experience euthanizing mice because he looks at brain slices from them under a microscope. anyway, i told hubby and he went and got a glove and took it out side. when he came back i asked what he had done with it and he said he had killed it. (i didn't want to know how) so then i asked what he had done with the dead mouse. (like it would be difficult to dispose of at our home, in the woods) he looked at me like i was funny, then he got this silly smirk on his face and said. "i cut off his head and put it on a stake to warn the others". this, coming from my husband was absolutly hillarious as he is such a careful person with all living things. he doesn't like to kill anything that there is not a good reason to do so, including spiders. we have not had any mice in the house since then. the others must have been pretty scared.
treehugger
Heh...I had one get caught by the tail in a trap...I didn't discover it until morning so I have no idea how long the poor thing endured that.

I decided that the mouse had gone through enough, and really kinda earned it so I took it way, way out in the woods and let it go.
konphusion26
Was watching SuperNanny and this kid spit right in his little sister's face in the car without remorse. Mom did nothing, and he didnt apologize. To me, mad.gif SPITTING in someone's face is the ultimate "eff you!" and disrespect. If I were his sister, he would've caught an elbow to the nose. Thats disgusting.

Have you ever had anyone intentionally spit in your face? With no remorse??
pollystyrene
I agree, konphusion, that's awful. So disrespectful- I'd rather he punched her or something. Spitting on someone, face or not, just crosses a line.

Never had anyone spit on me, but my stupid sister (sorry, humanist- it was dumb!) spit off the side of one of the floors of Marshall Fields, down to the first floor, when she was little (about 7 or so, I think.) A security guard saw her do it and she came up and yelled at my mom.

Here's an old-timey picture of Marshall Fields:


Ok, grossness:
One of the dental assistants in the office took an impression of a college-age girl's teeth the other day. When she pulled it out of her mouth, there was a "short & curly" in the plaster. Yum! Guess we know what she was doing before her appointment!
culturehandy
Spitting in someone's face is disgusting.

Polly, that story is hysterical!!!
jami
I've got one for ya.
ok... so it seems that under the crown, my tooth has been decaying for awhile. x-ray showed the decay down to the bone, and it had to be pulled. (he was suprised that I was not in lots of pain!). that was yesterday. tooth is gone, when I talk it sounds weird in my head. oh, and half the face is swollen.
this am my mouth tastes nasty. the hole is still weeping. I brush, tenderly on that side, and after I rinse, I inspect.
Half of my tounge is rusty-red from the blood that has been weeping all night.
beautycastvixen
Short and curly....gross!!
culturehandy
Jami!! Gaaaa!

I have to get on this tooth pulling deal, when I got my bottom wisdom teeth pulled, I got disolving stiches, and a week after I had it done, I had to go for a follow up, and they rinsed out the holes, the crap that came out of there! ewwwww, but so wonderfully satisfying.
glassk
So I cleaned out the cupboards last night, and grab a can of beans--- which comes up, but the bottom detaches, leaving a pile of moldy beans, i turn it, and the whole can is rotten. Apparently the can had been opened, but the lid stayed on, and then it was put back in the cupboard. there was solidified bean juice all over the bottom of the cupboard. EWWWWWWW

beans are gross to begin with, add mold...EW

And I got a Diva Cup, and I want to use the blood as fertilizer or something, so I'm keeping it in the fridge. Is that gross? I mean--- I dunno-- I figured I'd ask here before my roommate comes home and perchance freaks.
konphusion26
EWWWWWW glassK!! Mold, enuff said LOL i know you were about to hurl. I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it. UUUGH.

I'm not even sure what the heck the diva cup is... but blood??? **faints**
beck
poor Jami - ouch! i had a gross wisdom tooth experience - they were impacted (i think that means pointing the wrong way but not sure) and they couldn't take them out in one piece. Instead they put me under and smashed them up, and then picked the bits out and patched me up with dissolvable stitches (and wads of oil of cloves - gag). i am not sure if this is a common method or i just had a wild dentist. i did have lots of fun pulling out the bits of stitches after.

due to this novel technique, a couple of shards of tooth got left behind in the hole, so for a few months after, my jaw would get sore and a little infection would start and one of the chips would work its way to the surface, eventually popping out, along with the pus that had collected. The first time i didn't realise what the salty taste was...but the relief after was great...

if my flatmate did the blood thing, i wouldn't be squeamish as long as i knew she didn't have Hep or HIV (although perhaps refrigeration would kill them anyway?). Might be tricky to explain to visitors though. Kind of reminds me of stories of people accidentally using breastmilk in their tea...
obelix2
When I was at my parents' place for XMas, I ended up watching my 6-year-old brother (I'm 30, long story) one night while everybody went out. He was happy about this, because I'm the fun big sister who is always joking around, swinging him around by his ankles and such. I had to put him to bed, and read to him for a while to get him to go to sleep. We have one of those families where everybody sleeps naked and it's not a big deal. So I leave the room, let him get naked and under the covers, then I go lay on top of the covers and start reading the book. He's kind of wiggly, like a kid, but he's mostly paying attention.

But after a few pages, he wiggles out from under the covers and all of a sudden, there's a 6-year-old nekkid BUTT three inches from my face, and he FARTS!!

I read him the riot act (well, as much as the fun, ankle-swinging sister can) and told him that it was rude, and that was absolutely unacceptable.

But I'm sure in a few years, we'll both be telling the story at XMas dinner and laughing our asses off. I love my family.
hellotampon
QUOTE(glassk @ Jan 19 2008, 03:06 AM) *
And I got a Diva Cup, and I want to use the blood as fertilizer or something, so I'm keeping it in the fridge. Is that gross? I mean--- I dunno-- I figured I'd ask here before my roommate comes home and perchance freaks.

Do you need to keep it in the fridge? I would think it would congeal in there.

The roommate issue always gets me when you read about how some vibrators (silicone, I think) can be cleaned and sterilized on the top rack of the dishwasher. Sure it seems easy but who does that unless you live alone?
pollystyrene
QUOTE(hellotampon @ Jan 20 2008, 10:06 AM) *
Do you need to keep it in the fridge? I would think it would congeal in there.

The roommate issue always gets me when you read about how some vibrators (silicone, I think) can be cleaned and sterilized on the top rack of the dishwasher. Sure it seems easy but who does that unless you live alone?


Well, a dishwasher cycle only runs about 40-60 minutes- I would think, unless your roommate is a total slacker or works from home, you could find an hour or so once a week when they're not home to wash your vibrator. Couldn't you just put it in boiling water for a couple minutes? That would be quicker if it's really a worry.
hellotampon
Well actually my (ex)roommate IS a total slacker. He moved out two weeks ago but for almost a year before that he didn't have a job or go to school and he never left the house to socialize either. He just sat in his room playing video games. While I was writing that last post I actually thought "well he probably wouldn't know because he never touched the dishwasher anyway." haha. But my boyfriend would think it's weird. It doesn't matter- my vibe is hard plastic anyway. I just think it's kinda icky to put sex toys in the dishwasher.
LilPinkElectricChair
Man this thread is so hilarious because sadly I relate to half the stories. I have a strange thing for cleaning out earwax, one time my sister asked if I could try and get something out of her. I dug around and found a small black bug incased in earwax. it was disgusting and oddly gratifying to get it out.
pollystyrene
QUOTE(hellotampon @ Jan 20 2008, 11:15 AM) *
Well actually my (ex)roommate IS a total slacker. He moved out two weeks ago but for almost a year before that he didn't have a job or go to school and he never left the house to socialize either. He just sat in his room playing video games. While I was writing that last post I actually thought "well he probably wouldn't know because he never touched the dishwasher anyway." haha. But my boyfriend would think it's weird. It doesn't matter- my vibe is hard plastic anyway. I just think it's kinda icky to put sex toys in the dishwasher.


Wow, that's pretty sad.

Yeah, I kinda agree- sometimes there's a white, powdery residue left on my dishes, like in spoons where the soap doesn't get rinsed completely and pools at the bottom. Probably wouldn't want to risk that on something you'll be inserting.
mouse
beck! oh shit! i just found out i have to get my wisdom teeth out, and the bottom two are impacted. i don't have to get them smashed but i will have to get bone grafts. not looking forward to that, but i'm sure it will provide some good TMI.

(pisses me off cos the last time i went to the dentist--about four years ago, haven't had dental insurance until recently--they told me "oh, they're fine, you won't have to get them taken out" and now this dentist is all "yikes, you need to get these out ASAP oh AND you will need bone grafts, please pay us tons of money to hurt you" but that is neither here nor there)

anyway, a few weeks ago i ate some popcorn and got a piece of the kernel husk lodged in between my back molar and the gum where my wisdom tooth is coming in. i tried to get it out but it only irritated it further, and it swelled up and got all sore. i figured it must have dislodged itself on its own (it must have, right?) but the gum was still irritated. when i went to the dentist, i mentioned in, and she was like "oh, no, that's where your wisdom tooth is coming in, it has nothing to do with the popcorn". ok, i figured, the popcorn irritated it and since the tooth is so close to the surface, once the popcorn was gone it stayed irritated.

but no. yesterday morning, i was sort of feeling around in there with my tongue and i felt something sharp and figured it was my tooth coming in. i continued to absentmindedly tongue it until i realized, hey wait, that's not where a tooth should be...cos i could feel UNDER the flap of gum where the tooth was, but this sharp bit was on the TOP part of the gum. sure enough, a little more working at it and out came a piece of FUCKING popcorn! it had been lodged in my gum for like two weeks! grossssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on the bright side, the gum calmed down almost immediately. i can still feel the tooth coming in, but it is no longer sore. stupid dentist, all underestimating my knowledge of my own goddamn mouth...
beck
hahaha gross! popcorn is the worst for getting stuck. i hate it when i'm in the cinema and i can't concentrate on the film bc i'm too busy trying to dislodge a kernel!
culturehandy
Oh I agree on popcorn, it's the same when a husk gets stuck in the back of your throat, then when you try to dislodge it, you get drool all over yourself.
beck
haha *imagining CH leaving cinema with big patch of drool down her front!*
culturehandy
I iz classey.
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