Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Busty Mom's of not so wee ones
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Friends and Family
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
pepper
i participate on a local parenting forum that i mostly like but lots of the mamas there are pretty religious. today there was a post about homeschooling and controversial info about creationism and evolution and one of the moms replied that there is lots of evidence that dinosaurs were around at the same time as man and not hundreds of thousands of years ago. this would support the theory that the earth is only 5000 years old. huh.gif
can i just say ~WFT~
Christine Nectarine
"lots", huh? well, who can argue with "lots"? wink.gif
poor kids.
pollystyrene
Did either of you see the SNL skit the week before last (the Michael Phelps episode) where it was like a high school quiz show and they had the regular public school kids and then a team of siblings who were homeschooled? They asked a bunch of science questions and of course the homeschooled kids gave answers straight out of the Bible and when the host said it was wrong their "mom" would come out, dressed like one of those women from the Texas LDS group, with the high hair and old-fashioned dress and try to convince the host they were right.

It was really funny, but of course, you can't find it on YouTube or hulu. Poop.
Christine Nectarine
polly, i wish i'd seen it!

ok, a couple of kid related gripes.

1. As mentioned, kiddo just started school, she was in the morning kindergarten class. Reorganization was coming up, where they look at the number of students and decide if they need to add/remove/split any classes. An additional kindergarten was needed, as the classes each had more than 20 kids. The principal called and asked if we would mind kiddo entering the new class, which would be in the afternoon. we preferred the morning, but asked kiddo and she said "i want to go to the afternoon class so I don't have to nap at daycare". surprised at the clarity of her decision, we let the school know that either class was fine with us, so they said monday she would start with the new teacher in the afternoon.
somewhere, someone mucked up. on Monday, she went to school in the afternoon with the other kids from her daycare, but they told her to go to her old teacher, and that she would actually be staying in the morning class. now she was so upset, since most of her friends were also going to the new teacher! how confusing for the kid! apparently, they moved her back because they made an error when balancing the boys vs girls numbers for each class. what bs. i know she'll get over it, and she's a highly adaptable kid, but sheesh. administration sucks.

2. i am so sick of disney. and princesses. and disney princesses. kiddo was so blissfully ignorant of them until recently. bleh. i'd say more, but the ranting about school already wore me out.
pepper
i wish i'd seen it too, that's pretty funny! though a lot of homeschooled kids aren't taught ridiculous tripe and are very, very bright. still, pretty funny.

here's a post from the crazy moms on that other site

<<There are a lot of Christians that believe in a Young Earth Creation. That is, we believe the world, dinosaurs and all, have been around for somewhere in the neighbourhood of 6000 years. Those YE Creationists believe that dinosaurs and humans were created on the same day, Day 6 of Creation (except the flying and swimming dinosaurs, which would have been created on Day 5). We take a literal view of Creation.>>

they give homeschoolers a bad name man. no wonder people laugh at them. idiots. how is that not child abuse, eh?


christine, i like this cartoon princess.

ok, someone please explain to me what the Fuck is up with the teeny weeny little girls wearing shoes with heels that are higher than i wear? the school yard was Full of them this morning, it was shocking! don't parents know that heeled shoes cause changes in the development of the skeleton and musculature of their babies? don't they care that foreshortening of the calf muscle is a serious issue that can result in lifelong difficulties? how is it that manufacturers even think that it's ok to make "sexy" shoes for little kids, that they are even allowed? that the school lets girls wear such dangerous accident-waiting-to-happen foot gear on the play ground? crocs and flip flops aren't allowed but high heeled sandals are? to me this is absolute insanity. i'm shaking my head.

pollystyrene
Did'ya see the link posted recently in the This Just In thread, pepper? mad.gif It's gotten younger than little girls. Ridiculous.

I don't know how you moms do it, finding the delicate balance between fun girliness and exploitive sexualization.
pepper
it's fekking easy man, if they look like a little trollop in it then put it back on the damn shelf! why Why WHY even toy with that look when there are preditors out there already more than willing to see your small girl as "asking for it"? ARRGGGHH!! one little tart on the playground this morning got a triple take from me, i could not believe how mature her outfit was. not even overly sexy (though it was that) but just... Mature! she had on a little cropped khaki hoodie with slim fitting khaki capris and high heeled strappy sandals (what are those ones called that have rope wrapped around and around the heel part? anyhow, those). i mean, i know there is a lot of peer pressure to be fashionable but this school only goes up to grade 2 so wtf. that is way too early to be dolling them up like that, it made me scared for my little tiny baby girl! what's it going to be like in only a few short years, eh?

didja see those padded bras for like 8 year olds? *shakes head*

i just read a little while ago that scholastic (i don't know if that's in the states too, it's a book distributor that goes through the school) declined to carry any bratz products due to their overt sexuality. ha ha, YAY! i hate those fekking ugly things!
freckleface7
yahh for scholastic!
it's about time that someone took a common-sense approach to what is available to our kids.
granted I'm not in favor of or promoting censorship whatsoever, just a little grounded Parental Judgement now & again and if the parent's Won't..

people that say that it's 'too hard to find non-sexy clothes for their little girls' are just not looking hard enough.
true a LOT out there is crap, but if more people would refuse to buy into it literally, things would change.

frecklette is still very much all about t-shirts, jeans & sneakers and I admit, it's gotten old now, but comparitively to where I have actually been embarrassed by the outfits some of her friends have worn over to our house & out when I've taken them places? I thank my lucky stars!
Christine Nectarine
i agree, yeah for scholastic!

pepper, that princess does look kind of cool, and to be sure there are other decent princesses out there. i'm a big fan of the Paper Bag Princess.

the clothes thing is just another factor of the hyper-sexualized gender messages that our little girls get. c'mon, heels for babies? who could possibly think that's a good idea? i don't think they're as popular these last couple years, but i hate seeing little girls with "sweet" or "cutie" etc written across their chest or bum.

i think we should all remember tho, our daughters are not the first generation of young girls to grow up with messages like this. we should be glad they have us for mum's, who can teach them self-esteem and a healthy view of sex and gender as they are old enough to understand it.

i'm thankful of the fact that despite her new found obsession with pretty princesses, as least my kiddo knows that BRATZ dolls look weird.
pollystyrene
One more thing before I relurk:

I think I've mentioned it before, I found a great line of dolls available here in the states at Target that I've given as gifts. They're called Groovy Girls and they're soft dolls, so you can give them to younger kids as well. They come in all colors and they're hip, but not skanky. It looks like they recently added Groovy Boys, too.
pepper
ah, you mums are so good. i'm glad to have a bit of a mama space with other chicas who believe the world is more than 6000 years old and that little girls are not fashion models in the making.
freckleface7
polly- please don't de-lurk!
we so heart you here!

groovy girls are adorable & have been around for quite a few years but are unfortunately just not as popular as some of the other hard plastic dolls. there are tons of different ones availale and if I am not mistaken they share similarties to beanie babies as don't they have ID tags of some sort that tells you their names & b-days too?
maybe I am getting them confused w/ beanies tho, and if so, apologies.

frecklette has several of them & a couch, chair & vw covertible in wild colors too & I just love it all as did she when she was younger.
true some of the dolls are wearing cropped shirts & heeled sandals,but the way the dolls are made they are decidedly and obviously UN sexual.

oh, and when frecklette was wee small?
for her 3rd b-day I think, I scrounged multiple thrift shops and got a cardboard dresser that I decorated w/ stickers & glitter and paint markers, and made her a Dress Up Kit. it was fantastic! scarves & belts & hats & jewlery & purses & shoes & you name it. so-much-fun for ALL of us here & great for play dates too and the cool factor was that it was all stuff I had personally chosen, so you know there was a lot of vintage cool stuff and darned if I do not know where the kit has gone now? dry.gif
mandolyn
*delurk*

i so want one of those groovy girls for myself!
i so want to get one for my tiny niece! too bad my sister won't get it. at all.
and yes, polly, i do seem to be stalking you today ... hee!
*blows a keece to freckle*

*relurk*
sybarite
I am heartened reading everyone's posts complaining about hyper-sexualised girls--I read (finalyl) Ariel Levy's Female Chauvinist Pigs and she is horrifying on how teenaged girls see (and are made to see) themselves.

I am so glad the resident teen dresses, maybe like frecklette, in tops and jeans rather than all that scary stuff. She's currently channelling the 1980s, with lots of bright colours, stripes and retro t-shirts. I dare to think she's pretty cool at school...
pepper
thanks for the book rec, i'll pick it up. good info to have when you are mama to small daughters.
i'm checking out her website.
freckleface7
thank you to both syb & pepper, bc I just went to her website too and discovered, much to my object horror, that I am guilty of some of the described chauvanistic behaviour too! unsure.gif
(such as I tended to feel that women working at strip clubs, (the ones Not addicted to drugs or otherwise coherced into working there) were empowering themselves by basically 'outsmarting the men' as men will look/objectify women Anyway)
but dare I say so simple or short a page has opened my eyes to my own shame?

I cannot believe I actually thought that so callously and am disappointed in myself.
pepper
what are you talking about? how can you be ashamed of yourself for learning something new and opening your mind like that? R U crazeee? i'm proud of you! yay you! there are no life rules, we gotta learn them all as we go along. and i'll betcha that most feminists will find feminist issues that they never thought about before. dat's life babee!
Christine Nectarine
i know this discussion left off a while ago, but thanks for reminding me of "female chauvenist pigs". i remember reading some reviews of it when it came out, and always meant to pick it up. i think i will do that.

a bit of an update:
my kiddo broke her leg last weekend sad.gif Total accident on the playground slide. it was just shortly before i came to pick her up at her grandparents, and they came with me to emerg. her left leg is in a full cast. she's not very happy about it, although handling it surprisingly well. the cast is purple, and she got her dad to paint on it for "decoration". we've borrowed a wagon to get her around, and are able to leave it at school in the morning, so when her daycare staff come to pick up the kids, they can pull her along.

the only problem we have encountered is for her to get around AT daycare. in the classroom she can manage a little on her own, by scooting around on her bum. she needs help however to get up and down the hall, and go to the bathroom. the teachers don't mind helping her, but they want to put her in a stroller to help get her around! she doesn't like this idea, and neither do i - for one thing, it's not very comfortable for her, as her leg is left at an odd angle, and for another, she NOT a baby, and i think it's kind of demoralizing for her. the reason for all this is that BOTH her teachers are pregnant, and can't easily lift or carry her. now this i understand, and certainly i don't want to cause them any discomfort, but seriously, a stroller? they tried it out on friday, and when i picked her up, she just looked so miserable, and pointed to the stroller with a look that said "look what they did to me mum!" she's too little use crutches, and can't put much weight on her leg yet.

i don't know what to do about this. any help mamas?
moxiegirl
office chair with wheels?

Sucks seriously for the wee one. sad.gif
freckleface7
ok, I know this is a stretch here, but have you ever seen those big over-sized skate-board type things?
or wait- what about a Skate Board? or 2 even duct-taped together to be wider?

I've bee thinking and thinking on this sinse I read your post yesterday christine and sadly- that's as good as it gets. :/ poor kiddo!!
my heart totally goes out to her right now.
how long is she going to have to wear the cast?

(((((kiddo)))) speedy healing sugar.
moxiegirl
I thought skateboard, too...or perhaps the actual wagon?
pepper
i'm thinking things on wheels = another accident. i know it sucks but this may be a thing that you just have to tough out. it really, really sucks but i wouldn't take a chance with any dangerous mobility! maybe you could go and pick out an umbrella stroller with her and decorate it so it feels a little more friendly and personal for her? best of luck and kisses for your wee injured!
Christine Nectarine
thanks mamas, i enjoyed reading your suggestions! kiddo's daddy also though she could use some sort of wheeled cart contraption or something, which of course HE would make (meaning it would be finished some months after her leg has healed). i think we will suck it up and deal with the stroller for now (it is the umbrella type) and try to be encouraging to kiddo. she's getting much more confident about moving around on her own, so that may help. i think i mostly needed moral support, so thank you everyone for your encouragement! she has this full leg cast another 2 weeks, and the hopefully if all is healing well, they will make a new cast that is just below the knee, for another 3 weeks or so.
Christine Nectarine
i was reminded of a previous conversation in this thread when i learned about these Maplelea Girls dolls the other day. the dolls are each supposed to be a "real girl" character who have varied interests (ie something other than fashion and hairdressing...nothing wrong with those, but we all know there are other things out there). obviously they are very "canadian", but someone put a lot of thought into including all kinds of kids experiences in the "life stories" of these dolls - language, geography, ability, cultural background, and religious differences are all touched on in the descriptions of the different dolls.
i think i would have loved one of these as a kid. nice to see something positive out there for our little girls! i also like that if the doll gets damaged, you can send it to the "Maplelea Spa" to get repaired, instead of throwing the thing out.

pepper
did you get their flier in with the scholasitic book picks from school? one came home with the little man the other day so i've been thinking about them too. only i've been wondering if their clothes and accessories will fit the poppet dolls i make so i can pilfer their supplies without having to buy one of their dolls (which i don't like as much as the ones i make, heh). i loved the spa idea though, isn't that wonderful?
konphusion26
Hi beautiful Busties... I have a situation I need some advice on. Also cross posted in the Childfree thread. I don't have any children yet. But how do I deal with these people and their kids?? I like these folks alright. I just got so irritated with them last night. Here's why:


My husband decided to invite his music buddy over last night and didn't tell me till it was too late to protest. The guy is cool except his wife always wants to tag along with their 2 kids. I'm usually left entertaining the wife (which blows cuz we have NOTHING in common and I don't do small talk well). Somehow or another she always makes her way to where the hubby is and leaves her damn kids with me or unsupervised.

Now this wouldn't be a problem if her 3 yr old son wasn't a total brat. He doesn't listen to her at all. Here's a list of his antics from last night. His father finally stepped in and spanked his lil azz.

-Purposely spewed orange soda on my carpet that I just shampooed 3 days ago;
-threw a toy car at the new (plasma) tv that my husband worked so hard to get - almost hit it; probably would have tried again if his mom hadn't caught him.
-running up and down the hallway screaming at the top of his lungs (keep in mind we live in a 2nd floor apartment)
-kept going in my refrigerator without permission
-threw his toys all over my living room and would not pick them up when told to.

After all this mess, they didn't end up leaving till after 1am. My husband doesn't understand why I don't like having company or like being at home when he's working on music. I wasn't expecting them to be here last night and certainly didn't feel like entertaining. I hope they don't come back today. But knowing my luck they probably will. UUGH!! I wish they could work on their stuff elsewhere. I hate having my home taken over.
Christine Nectarine
konphusion, i did reply briefly to this dilemmna in the CBC thread, but it seems more appropriate to elaborate here...

it sounds like these people (or this woman anyway, i don't know the whole dynamic of the situation) are totally taking advantage of your accomodating nature. yes, i love going somewhere that i don't have to worry about kiddo for a while cause there's another adult around, but i hope i'm considerate enough to realize i can only do that if i trust her to behave, and if i know she'll be welcome. on top of that, it's not fair to you or to the kid to keep them up till 1:00am!
since you don't really know this woman or have a relationship with her, i think your man has some responsibility here to handle the situation. sure, he's locked away working removed from the scene, but certainly he can see the exhausted kids leaving, and notice the orange stain on the carpet...if he's not able to give you notice of his buddy coming over, he's at least going to have to tell the guy "look, our place really isn't suited to having kids over" or "i can't really expect konphusion to entertain anyone, so it's better if you come by yourself". then buddy can deal with his own wife.

failing that, if they do come again, when 9:30 rolls around (or whenever) declare "look, i've got a headache/early start tomorrow/something to work on and really need to get to it." knock on that music room door and inform husband and buddy that music time is over and your going to bed. this should be the serious hint that they need to wrap it up and leave. i know your point is not to kill the music time, but someone's gotta recognize that you shouldn't have to suffer so long on account of it.

hope it works out! and rest assured...we parenting types are not all so ignorant and inconsiderate! (i hope!)
pollystyrene
Bump for Ireie!
Ireie
Hello everyone, I'm Cass and I have an 8 year old daughter that I want to find reading material for that has good female characters and heroines. I looking for something that isn't about princesses or stereotypical girly. I'd appreciate any suggestions or even a point in a good direction. Her reading level is about that of the Magic Tree House books, which seem to be a favorite so far. I picked up comic versions of Nancy Drew and the Baby Sitter's Club yesterday and she has gotten into them too.
MsKissyStarfish
QUOTE(Ireie @ May 29 2009, 05:36 AM) *
Hello everyone, I'm Cass and I have an 8 year old daughter that I want to find reading material for that has good female characters and heroines. I looking for something that isn't about princesses or stereotypical girly. I'd appreciate any suggestions or even a point in a good direction. Her reading level is about that of the Magic Tree House books, which seem to be a favorite so far. I picked up comic versions of Nancy Drew and the Baby Sitter's Club yesterday and she has gotten into them too.


Hi there smile.gif everyone!
Cass, I have an 8 year old daughter as well. She enjoyed Clementine (first and second) and my old Pippi Longstocking books. smile.gif She adored The Girl with the Silver Eyes, but that again is just one of my old books. Also Island of the Blue Dolphin is a good book with a female heroine. My daughter didn't dig the babysitters type books but she read Fairest (about a princess) at least 3 times. Go figure. =/
Her tastes have changed and she is pretty much reading ghost stories, magic (Harry Potter series etc.), and Sci fi these days. Have fun and happy reading!
MsKissyStarfish
So nice to see this thread here! I'm Rebecca and am mum to a quasi wee one (a.k.a 3year old) and a big one (8 year old). They are bright active, and sometimes drive me crazy lol. Wouldn't trade being a mom for anything though. Having kids certainly made my own goals slow down a bit.. o.k. take a back seat for years. However, that improved once my son was through the baby stage.

Are there still moms here? smile.gif Is this still an active thread? I'm not sure what guidelines to follow when an old thread is re-introduced.
Anyway cheers and have a great day!
~R
Ireie
Thanks for that info! I'll look for copies of those for the summer. I think this is an old thread that I got bumped to when I started looking around for reading material for Bug. Hopefully it will start back up. I've just got Bug currently, but we are getting ready to start trying again. Just a tad nervous cause it's been a while and no child is ever the same.
Cass
girl_logic
Hey Ireie I'm not a mom, I work with kids at the library though and have my own favourites... followed your question from the other thread. I'd recommend Ronia The Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren. The Brother's Lionheart is also fantastic but it doesn't fit your criteria for a girl focused book, still, it does show a different type of male character. I think one of the easiest places to find the female characters you're looking for is in fantasy adventure fiction. Mysteries too.

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler is a good one, about siblings who run away and try to live in a museum by their wits. That leads them to the discovery of a mysterious statue and the story behind it.

If you can find these, The Wicked Wicked Ladies in the Haunted House and The Dollhouse Murders(oldies but goodies)

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry is a classic I'd highly recommend. It's considered one of the best in children's lit and there's a reason why.

Miss Kissy - I adored The Girl with the Silver Eyes when I was younger. I still have my copy.

I guess my list is kind of dusty, they're just books I loved but they're good reads.
pollystyrene
QUOTE(girl_logic @ Jun 3 2009, 08:12 AM) *
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler is a good one, about siblings who run away and try to live in a museum by their wits. That leads them to the discovery of a mysterious statue and the story behind it.

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry is a classic I'd highly recommend. It's considered one of the best in children's lit and there's a reason why.


These were two of my favorites, too. Number the Stars by Lois Lowry was another good one. It's about a girl in Denmark during the Holocaust, but it's not as intense as The Diary of Anne Frank. It won a Newbury Award; you may want to look at this list of Newbery winners- there's good stuff in there.
whatagirlwants
Hey momas..smile.gif I'm bumping here...

I haven't read any good book lately, the last book that I read was... "I don't remember" but it was about a persian girl who traveled to US to find a better life and ended up married with Starbucks guy. Very romantic and funny... Well, I'm not a book person pretty much, I just read chick lit mostly.
Ireie
[color="#2E8B57"][/color]Wow! Thanks ladies. Some of these sound fun. I've got a list going now which should keep us busy.
MsKissyStarfish
Oh Girl Logic mentioned two excellent books! Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry used to be required reading, and it still should be *in my opinion*. I had to almost force my daughter to read From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and then she could not put it down. Girl With the Silver Eyes was one of my very faves.
Here are a few more strong heroines...
Shakespeare's Secret ~ by Elise Broach~ a mystery about a girl named Hero smile.gif
Coraline~ by Neil Gaiman ~ apparently Coraline is cool even to jaded 8 year olds. lol.
Howl's Moving Castle~ she said the book was very different from the movie
Matilda~ by Roald Dahl ~ She loves this book, I prefer other works of his
Olivia Kidney~ by Ellen Potter~ untypical and fun
May Bird~ by Jodi Lynn Anderson ~ dark, bizzarre, but very engaging
Happy reading! biggrin.gif
MsKissyStarfish
QUOTE(girl_logic @ Jun 3 2009, 06:12 AM) *
Hey Ireie I'm not a mom, I work with kids at the library though and have my own favourites... followed your question from the other thread. I'd recommend Ronia The Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren. The Brother's Lionheart is also fantastic but it doesn't fit your criteria for a girl focused book, still, it does show a different type of male character. I think one of the easiest places to find the female characters you're looking for is in fantasy adventure fiction. Mysteries too.

Dollhouse Murders is another good one.

I'll suggest these to my daughter as well. Thanks for the recommendations! Do you have any suggestions for an 8 year old girl who loves fantasy, the whole Harry Potter Series, and everything from princesses to pirates? smile.gif
pollystyrene
QUOTE(MsKissyStarfish @ Jun 4 2009, 12:16 PM) *

Matilda~ by Roald Dahl ~ She loves this book, I prefer other works of his


Oh, that's a good one. Any of the Roald Dahl, female lead or not, are great books. Another one with a female lead is The Magic Finger. It's a lesser-known short story (but its own book, not an anthology.)
Christine Nectarine
QUOTE(MsKissyStarfish @ Jun 1 2009, 06:11 PM) *
Are there still moms here? smile.gif Is this still an active thread? I'm not sure what guidelines to follow when an old thread is re-introduced.
Anyway cheers and have a great day!
~R


the thread is as active as you want it to be! we're always happy for threads to get bumped into new life. for a while, most mama talk had shifted over to the "hot mamas" thread, although it's a lot of baby focussed talk over there i find. my kiddo is 5 now, so i can easily remember the baby stuff, but she's grown so much since then.

these are awesome reading lists everyone!
MsKissyStarfish
I'm loving this thread, lets keep it hoppin'! biggrin.gif Pollystyrene I just told my girl about The Magic Finger. She's putting it on her library list.smile.gif I really liked his odd little book The Giraffe, the Pelly, and Me but a monkey is the lead.

As summertime approaches any plans for what to do with all of those extra hours? I'm hoping to sleep in for a day or so. wink.gif. Doubtful as the 3 year old is allergic to sleep, and the 8 year old could sleep through a hurricane. rolleyes.gif

I really enjoyed age 5 with my girl how is it going for you Christine? smile.gif
Christine Nectarine
5 is brilliant so far. all her baby ways seem to be gone, which has been an adjustment. the main problem seems to be that she is bored at school, so we are hoping to put in her French Immersion next year.

i doubt we'll have any extra hours this summer, since we are looking to buy a house over the next couple months. kiddo is very excited though since my mum will be looking after her the majority of the time. we figured since her daycare will be changing anyway by September, we would take the opportunity to save some money.
MsKissyStarfish
QUOTE(Christine Nectarine @ Jun 10 2009, 09:09 AM) *
5 is brilliant so far. all her baby ways seem to be gone, which has been an adjustment. the main problem seems to be that she is bored at school, so we are hoping to put in her French Immersion next year.

i doubt we'll have any extra hours this summer, since we are looking to buy a house over the next couple months. kiddo is very excited though since my mum will be looking after her the majority of the time. we figured since her daycare will be changing anyway by September, we would take the opportunity to save some money.


Nice! I'll bet she will really enjoy a grandma filled summer! My daughter gets out of school tomorrow around noon. It has been a sad last week, two or three days ago they packed up all of the books, and the kids have actually just been watching movies, dressing in costumes, or required to have weird hair, etc... I'm irritated beyond belief at the lack of curriculum and that all attempts at education have ceased. Thankfully we won't be dealing with this school next year. We're trying to get all of our bikes in good shape to take a lot of family rides, and I'm getting my eldest involved in dance . She also has to write up a list of things she would like to learn to do, and hopes for her summer. She will sit around and play video games all summer if we let her. wink.gif
Ireie
So we've been on vacation sans child. She is with her Dad for the summer, which is a bummer. School restarts about two weeks after she gets back.

I had a question which I may be able to answer myself. What is French Immersion? I'm guessing french lessons or maybe something more tasty like cooking? We live in a small town, something I enjoy, however; finding any foreign language course for a child is impossible. They don't start it till high school. I can drive over to he next big city, but that's gas money. Has anyone ever tried the Rosette Stone products?

MsKS I understand what yo mean about the lack of curriculum the last week. My daughter's school sent home a pile of workbooks the last few weeks. What was highly irritating was the number of pages still in them, like most had not been used at all.

Hope everyone's summer is going grert!

Ireie
QUOTE(MsKissyStarfish @ Jun 4 2009, 11:22 AM) *
Dollhouse Murders is another good one.

I'll suggest these to my daughter as well. Thanks for the recommendations! Do you have any suggestions for an 8 year old girl who loves fantasy, the whole Harry Potter Series, and everything from princesses to pirates? smile.gif



I thought of a few books that may be considered fantasy for about an 8 year old. The Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling, my younger sister was real into the Series of Unfortunate Events, I haven't tried these on Bug yet. Also, something I dug out of the boxes from when I was a kiddo, there is a series of books by John Bellairs, the first one is called The Curse of the Blue Figurine. We had been reading this one together before she had to go to her Dad's. The Princess Bride also is a great read.
pinkmartyr
hi everybody... sybarite suggested i pop into this thread. i usually post on the baby thread, as i have a 9 month old baby boy. my boyfriend, however, has two children with his ex-wife. they live a few states away and spend time with us at christmas and in the summer. there is a 12 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. their mom and dad have been separated for two years, and are in the process of the longest divorce ever.
i first met the kids last christmas. they most recently visited for the past week, and their dad met their mom half way to get them home just today. when they visit, we get along well, but i definitely feel like their are issues on both sides of the fence.
first of all, their dad works for most of the time they are here. he usually has one full day off to spend with them. so, while he works, they are home with me and the baby. fortunately, they love their baby brother to pieces, but i know they'd rather be with their dad instead of me. even in photos of our family, they look miserable in the pictures i am in. they are polite and pleasant otherwise... i can just tell they are not into me. well, not me exactly, just the fact that their dad isn't with their mom anymore. this morning they barely told me goodbye, they kissed and hugged the baby and told him they loved him, but just waved at me. i do engage them and spend time with them while they're here, i feed them nice meals and try to give them activities to do. i pretty much accept my role as a babysitter.
there are some issues with rules, limits, and cleanliness. their mom is a horrible housekeeper from what i hear. they've come to the house to stay before when their clothes and stuffed animals smelled like cat pee. this time was much better, but i struggle with getting them to put their things away. the biggest thing right now is that emmet is mobile, and can't wait to put the pennies, dorito crumbs and matchbox cars strewn about in his mouth. i'd go to bed earlier than them and wake up to find the living room just totally messy. their dad and i agreed to rules- bed by 11, bath at least every other night, put away your stuff at the end of the day. he enforced the rules for the first two days, then let everything slide. i organized a play date with some other children, and told the 5 year old to help the other kid clean up before they had a brownie for dessert. i caught him throwing everything under the couch instead of putting it in the toy bin. also, they were here for 7 days and only bathed twice. people with kids, am i crazy for thinking they should have bathed more often?
i think part of the problem is that isaac (their dad) and i agree to rules but he doesn't enforce them. i think its because he feels guilty and wants to indulge them. i can't blame him. the other part is that he just can't get time off, and they end up spending very little time with him.
next week i'm going to get the guts to discuss two issues with their dad- why didn't you enforce the rules on the second half of the week, and what happened on tuesday? tuesday morning i went to weight watchers and had left emmet at home. i pumped milk for him and told isaac he was ready for a nap. my mom ended up coming over. it took isaac a long time to answer the door, and he immediately gave emmet to my mom. emmet was all puffy faced with tears and just didn't look right. isaac told my mom that he just woke up. well, that was untrue because isaac had texted me to say that the baby wasn't sleeping, just playing in his crib. he hadn't been fed the milk i left. when i put emmet down for his afternoon nap and turned on his lullaby music, the radio was turned up really loud. i'm fairly certain that isaac turned up the music to drown out emmet's crying so that he could play xbox with his 5 year old. i personally think that emmet should have had his milk and probably would have happily watched them play xbox. i really want to discuss this with isaac but don't want it to end up as a huge fight. if he doesn't want to keep emmet while the kids are here, thats fine... he totally could've gone with me. and now i feel like i can't leave him home with his dad when the other kids are here.
sorry for the long post... anybody have suggestions or thoughts?
Ireie
Hey there, I'm actually on the other end of what you are experiencing. I've got hte kiddo and the ex gets her every other Christmas and for summer time. From what I understand, my daughter ends up spending most of her time down there with her step mom. I'm not sure what she did to overcome the step-mom syndrome, but it's worked thankfully. It didn't happen immediately and took some time. It sounds like you've had few encounters with his children and for short periods of time. It may take a while before they warm to you and I hate to say this, but if they do. I never warmed to the woman who was my step mom, but I didn't have a great relationship with my dad either.

They will have to come to you though I think and you will have to be ready when they do. Don't try to force a relationship, bu don't be distant. It sounds like it would help more if dad was more willing to enforce the rules when they came to visit. He has to be willing to throw support behind those and you as well. Does your fella have a friendly relationship with his ex or is she still bitter? Her attitude towards you can greatly affect your relationship with the kids. I messed up when my daughter first started visiting her father. He had left me for her step mom and I verbally ranted in front of Bug once. The first few visits didn't go well because of this, with my daughter actually telling her "You stuck your nose in their relationship and had no business doing it!" As little as I think of either of them, I have to keep that to myself if I want her to have a healthy relationship with her Dad. It has helped.

I wish you luck as I know from being the kid in a divorced family and now a parent of one that it is not fun and easy, and takes plenty of work.
pinkmartyr
Ireie, thanks so much for writing!

I don't have a great relationship with my own step mom, either. The misery of that relationship really helps me to see things from the kids point of view. For example, I try to make sure they get lots of time alone with their dad, not just with the whole family together.

Isaac admitted that he got lax on the rules and promised to do better next time. He asked that I privately remind him when he's letting too much slide. He is willing to enforce them... I just think he was being lazy, and trying to indulge the kids so they would see Dad's House as a "vacation" and look forward to it. He does support me in setting guidelines.

He has a decent relationship with his ex. For some reason, she is dragging her feet with the divorce- it has been in process for two years. I don't know what her attitude toward me is... I just know that I feed her children well, entertain them, and send them home with a suitcase full of clean clothes. The 5 year old accidentally stepped on Emmet when he was only two months old, and the ex called to see if the baby was ok and how I was doing. I really appreciated that. I've only said positive things about her around the kids, even though I disagree with some of the things she does, like how she won't take the kids to the dentist for cleanings even though they are insured.

One of the things the Mr. and I came to a conclusion about is vacation time. After December, he'll be eligible for one week of vacation per year. I suggested that he take his vacation during the week the kids are here in summer. That way they don't have to be bored with me all the time, and we may even be able to do stuff like go to the zoo as a family. The downside is that I had been looking forward to going on a vacation with Isaac and Emmet to the beach, which we will not get to do since his vacation week will always be spoken for. Instead I'm planning on tagging along with my friend Laura and her husband to go on a vacation- they have a baby around Emmet's age and we always have fun anyway. I think if I stayed home and didn't do anything fun, it would just create resentment.

Ireie
I'm currently wondering what I was thinking because I volunteered to take over my daughter's girl scout troop. First meeting tonight, twelve 8-9 year old girls ran me over basically. I tried using the signal for quite time, which is raising your arm. It worked only when I had their attention. When I lost it, the only way to regain it was to basically raise my voice and flat out yell at one point. I felt so embarrassed cause there were a few parents sitting off to hte side watching. I wanted to yell at them, help me control your kids, only it wasn't their kids who were being disruptive. Does anyone have any suggestions, tips, tricks, etc for establishing authority and control over a group of children...anyone out there lead a troop, coach a team, teach school or sunday school??? I'm looking for just about anything that will help. I was able to pick up my instigators and problem children, but what to do with them when I have 9 other girls that deserve my attention also?
Ireie
Hello ladies? Anyone still reading this one? I'm looking for help again. My 9 year old daughter, who is pleasantly plump, told me last night some 5th graders were calling her fat. We talked about how it made her feel, which was obviously bad. I tried to explore the issue some, and didn't really feel like we got to far with it. It's much easier when older to let it roll off your back, but at her age, I know saying why should you can what they think doesn't work well. She basically told me she did care what they thought, in not so many words, even though she turned right around and said they were mean and lots of people ignored them. I have no clue how to handle this and how to help her out, cause the last thing I want is a child with an eating disorder. Any suggestions?
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.