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onyva
QUOTE(tatiana @ Aug 12 2006, 06:41 PM) *
I came in here looking for the name of a reputable canadian online seller of sex toys. I know of WomynsWare but I remember someone mentioning at least one other (in toronto?).


Oh yes yes! Come As You Are!!! That's where I always go and they are fabulous. I always go in person because I live in Toronto but they do have online shopping. http://www.comeasyouare.com/

I've also been to Good For Her, which is great too, I just prefer CAYA. http://www.goodforher.com/

Both are sex-posi feminist collectives!

QUOTE(tatiana @ Aug 12 2006, 06:41 PM) *

On the topic of sex toys, has anyone tried balls (like the Ben Wa kind I guess)?


Like I mentioned below, I own the Fun Factory 'Smart Balls'. I've only used them a couple of times -- inserted them whilst masturbating and moved them around. They felt alright but I didn't feel they really blasted me off into orbit or anything. I'm going to keep trying them though. I bought them because I read a very, VERY positive review online, and I want to find out what they really can do for me!

QUOTE(theredhead @ Aug 12 2006, 06:41 PM) *
And maybe try some mutual masturbation - that way you know you'll have your orgasm, and your partner can watch and learn!


I've even tried that! I can't even seem to come with anyone else in the room!!

I'm hanging out with a guy tomorrow, and I've been doing Kegels up the wazoo (pun intended) and working on my frame of mind a lot. I haven't been masturbating because I was on vacation visiting my mother. I am hoping that things will improve.
tatiana
tesao and onyva: I was curious to hear other's experiences with them, thanks!

onyva: Thanks for the links smile.gif
erinjane
QUOTE(tatiana @ Aug 12 2006, 05:41 PM) *

I came in here looking for the name of a reputable canadian online seller of sex toys. I know of WomynsWare but I remember someone mentioning at least one other (in toronto?).

On the topic of sex toys, has anyone tried balls (like the Ben Wa kind I guess)?



I'm from Canada too and have trouble finding good online stores, so now I get stuff from Smitten Kitten Online. I like them because shipping is free. After comparing Canadian website prices to their prices, it was cheaper to buy from Smitten Kitten and not pay for shipping. And the owner won't sell unhealthy toys, like jelly toys, which are porous and impossible to clean completely. I got to stop in there on my vacation and the owner was super nice and really knew her stuff. Coincidently, I think that the balls she sells are on sale. I asked about them in the store and she said they aren't really meant to be used for pleasure, but to strengthen the muscles. She said some people use them for sex play, but the majority of people don't get that much out of them in terms of that way.

She's also having a birthday sale this month so if you spend $100 you get a free gift bag full of shwag.
QUOTE

Each bag includes ALL of the following items:

Sprite a Multi-speed, Waterproof Bullet Vibrator (donated by O'My)
Wrist Cuffs Amazing Sex Bondage Cuffs (donated by Sportsheets)
Cock Rings A set of 3 skin-safe Nitrile Cock Rings (donated by Spartacus Leather)
Nipple Nibblers Trial size tin of tasty, tingly nipple stimulating balm
Afterglow All Natural Sensual Body and Toy Cleanser (donated by Devine Toys)
O'Gel A Sexy Serving of All Natural Clitoris Stimulating Gel (donated by O'My)
O'My Natural Lubricant All Natural Sensual Lubricant (donated by O'My)
LiP Magazine Fall Issue of LiP, a Magazine with a Progressive Perspective
Bitch Magazine Fall Issue of Bitch Magazine, Feminist Response to Pop Culture
BUST Magazine Fall Issue of BUST , BUSTing Stereotypes About Women
$pread Magazine Winner of 2005 Utne Independent Press Award!
Outlaw Leather Unprecedented Strap-On Harness Designs- Full Catalog


(Geez, sound like I work for them.)
pepper
i like womyns ware. great catalogue, some little freebies, and quick delivery. oh, and awsome products too, they're very particular about what they'll carry.

womynsware.com
tatiana
erinjane, don't you have to pay duty/customs for stuff from the states and risk having it confiscated at the border?
erinjane
It depends...twice I haven't had to pay duty, once I did...it was about $9. It really just depends, sometimes they charge the duty, sometimes they don't. Forgot about that. I've never heard of or worried about sex toys getting confiscated. It's never come up. If the merch didn't arrive I wouldn't doubt that they would refund my money though or offer me some sort of deal. I dunno. But if you're worried about duty, it might be just as well to order from a Canadian store.

I wish we had a good store in Winnipeg. My friend and I talk about opening one one day, heh. tongue.gif
boblink
QUOTE(tesao @ Aug 12 2006, 11:23 PM) *

tatiana: i've used several kinds of balls. what did you want to know, exactly? off the top of my head, i like them very much, they roll around and create very pleasant sensations, and i can make them move by using my muscles....which can feel a lot like grabbing onto a hard cock.....veeeeeeeery nice. nice to have them pulled out when having an orgasm, as well. i know that some people really like them and others don't seem to have any sensation from them at all.

eta: boblink, that was great advice!


runnergirl
Hello, I have a question. I think I asked it before, but I don't remember the answer. I have been having sex with my boy for about 9 months. Lately, it has been getting really great and I get close to climax every single time. But, as I get more and more turned on, and feel like I am going to orgasm, my muscles tighten in my abs and legs, and in my vagina....so tight that I push him out completely. Most of the time he just says "Relax" and he can get back in...but this tightening is involuntary, and tends to ruin things for me. It drops the consistancy of the motion which I need. I was wondering if this happens to anyone else, and if there is anythign I can do to stop it from happening. My boy thinks that maybe it is because I get nervious about "losing control" so I somehow tense up and nix my orgasm by pushing him out. It could be, but its not a concious thing. Help!!!
auralpoison
Dude, boblink, what's with the reposting of shit people have already said? I'm not being bitchy or critical, I just wonder what the fucking point is? Your advice is helpful & all, but why repost something that any spaz can just scroll down & find the source material for? It just niggles at my OCD...
pepper
runnergirl, me too with the tensing pre-orgasm. i just need him to be strong right then and maintain what he's doing with sheer force sometimes. it's totally involuntary, i do it even when i masterbate. i have to or i can't come. any boy i've been with has either learned to cope or not minded at all.
oh, and it's easier flat on my front with him behind me but only if he wedges something under my hips or i'll push him out for sure.
hoosierman78
runnergirl-
My wife does the very same thing, and I'll be honest, it took us a bit of seeing just exactly what worked best to get her past that point of being nervous to let herself go. The practice was fun, but it was nearly a year before she was able to get off through penetration. I'd always end up either manually or orally bringing her to climax - this was even when she got off prior to penetration.

She still gets tense, and on occasion still pushes me out, but for the most part, I just (for lack of a better word) dig in and hold on tight. I usually try to shorten my strokes and keep more of me in her as well, which seems to help prevent her from pushing me out. I know it's frustrating, but I'm sure you two can work through it.
olhakadirf
I have this same problem, I put my legs way up like knees in my ears and have him hold them back then i dont have as much muscle control down there to push him out, this is of course way back when i did get laid once in a while but i dont cum from penetration i have to have clitoral stimulation also and this makes it easier for that too
dani837
QUOTE(olhakadirf @ Aug 18 2006, 03:26 PM) *

but i dont cum from penetration i have to have clitoral stimulation also and this makes it easier for that too

me neither damnit, (and i hate it!)seems like its time to change boys smile.gif
pepper
dude, who the hell can get off from just penetration? hardly anyone eh, it's most girls who need both or clitoral stim only. the few times i've actually gotten off from just screwing have been with lots of contact in the right extra spots. don't hate that, it's just how most of us are built..
venetia
That's how I do it but I have the opposite problem - that's the only way I can do it. For one it makes you feel like a big loser having everyone talking all the time about how it's a male myth (I sometimes think damn, is my vagina supporting the patriarchy?!).

Plus it is both difficult and embarrassing to spend all your time trying to minimise clitoral stimulation (trying to put your hand protectively between it and the other person for example, very uncool). Grass is always greener huh.
pepper
yes, but you're a kooky wierdo ven.
j/k.
dani837
QUOTE(pepper @ Aug 20 2006, 08:08 PM) *

dude, who the hell can get off from just penetration? hardly anyone eh, it's most girls who need both or clitoral stim only. the few times i've actually gotten off from just screwing have been with lots of contact in the right extra spots. don't hate that, it's just how most of us are built..

REEEAALLY??? I thought that it was just his fault!
lux
you're not the only one venetia. though i do get of from clitoral stimulation, plain penetration just feels much better and leads to better orgasms. damn my non-pc-pussy!!
runnergirl
wow thanks everyone for the advice....we'll have to try the "easier" positions out soon!!!
auralpoison
Word on the non-pc pussy, Lux. I get off way harder through penetration. Hook up boy kept trying to reach between us to touch my clit & I batted his hand away twice before he finally listened to me & gave it a rest. It's like, it's my vag I know how it works, get your damned hand out of there!
maimy
I love vaginal orgasm, but have no problem enjoying a bit of the clit too. On rare occasion, given stimulation in both manners, I've enjoyed what feels like simultaneous multiple orgasm - two distinct sensations of pleasure, layered and rolling over one another.

If my pussy IS supporting the patriarchy, I promise not to tell as long as it'll keep on providing that pleasure. Hoo-wah.
pepper
oh, you girls are blowing, Blowing my theory! darn you penetration climaxers. darn you all to heck!

most of my girlfriends can only get off from both or just clit. me too. ya'll are a bunch of freaks. *jealous*
venetia
Huh we are lucky if statistics will even represent us at 20% of the female population so your theory is still backed up, Pepper!
sybarite
Sorry pepper, I too am someone who has repeatedly moved the hand away from the clit. Back in the day, before the longterm mister, people used to be chagrined: they had gone to all the trouble of locating it, and then I push them away!

Penetration has always been my preferred route.

bunnyb
dr pepper, as always, I'm with you.

I find my body works in mysterious ways: I was very lucky once to experience female ejaculation and it was amazing, but no matter how hard we try to recreate the moment it just hasn't happened again. However that's slightly o/t.
pepper
yeah, finally someone to back me up! i was starting to think i was the freaky one! now that could never be...
p_176
usually it requires both clit and penetration...but my new guy is large enough that penetration alone is enough....we broke his damn bed;0)
sometimes the clit gets too sensitive so it almost hurts if the guy is touching you and you're about to orgasm....makes sense to me to push his hand away!
erinjane
Yikes, re:paying duty. I got a bunch of stuff and this time duty came to $24!! That's never happened. So just a warning.

And Tatiana, to your original question, i just got some sex toy care resources at the women's centre where I work and they also recommend (besides womyn's ware) www.comeasyouare.com, www.goodforher.com, and www.venusenvy.ca.
tatiana
Thanks erinjane! VenusEnvy has the cheapest pricest yet (for what I'm looking for). I knew there was a reason I was procrastinating. :-)
pepper
pro.cras.tin.a.ting.

ah, that's my favourite thing to do, by far!
dani837
QUOTE(pepper @ Aug 22 2006, 11:46 AM) *

yeah, finally someone to back me up! i was starting to think i was the freaky one! now that could never be...

Lol me too me too! Last time I ALMOST had an orgasm(with penetration) but he was like "im gonna come!" and i was like "NO WAIT DAMNIT" but he couldn't hold it sad.gif I was so close my legs were trembling for like 5 minutes after we stopped(has this happened to someone before?)
crinoline
dani- yes that has happened to me, it's really not Crinoboy's fault, either, he always tries to "hold it" but sometimes he just can't.

I was going to post this in "the mysterious O" but it seems to have disappeared.

I can't come from penetration. I would LOVE to. I can barely come from clit stimulation when the boy does it (he gets too rough and he gets very annoyed when I pull his hand away or tell him to stop)
I have felt like I COULD come before from penetration but it is only when we're going really, really hard and fast (I seem to really enjoy the jackhammer to the cervix sensation, it's like I have another G spot back there) G spot stim. alone is good too. The problem is that I get really, extremely close to coming, but just can't seem to push over the edge. Also, Crinoboy just can't maintain really hard and fast without coming himself.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced or, hopefully, overcome this? I just can't seem to "get" it.
olhakadirf
I wonder if p 176 has shone a little light on the subject of penetration and clitoral Orgasms, maybe bigger isn't better, but maybe it's different, and of course all of us lovely ladies are shaped and sized differently, so maybe the size, of both partners makes a difference

I have to say though I think it's all in our emotions and how we feel and think during the act, the one time I had one from penetration it was a really really emotional moment and it was kind of like "it's okay, I am here" kind of sex on his part and before I knew it I had one, but it wasn't nearly as strong as my normal ones are wink.gif

I would love to have "jackhammer to the cervix" sex and actually get off instead of having to add clit duty in there.
cami
QUOTE
(I seem to really enjoy the jackhammer to the cervix sensation, it's like I have another G spot back there)


I enjoy this too when I am on top, but then I am grinding my clit against him, too. It hits near the back of the cervix, the cul de sac I think, and it feels great. It sucks that it has a tendency to make him come too fast too. I slow down, change rhythms. I thought using a cock ring would help with that, but haven't tried this yet. Anyway, it's the easiest way for me to come as my new boy isn't as big as previous ones.
theredhead
re: the "other" G-Spot:

http://www.a-womans-touch.com/article/33/1..._Technique.html
bunnyb
hey, can anyone help? (I've cross-posted in OBOH to double chance of response). I've just noticed that my nipples (erect or not) look bruised, they're purple/pink like a fresh bruise but they're not sore. I've just finished my period and know that it's not happened during sex. I'm rather freaked out - wtf is wrong?
dani837
QUOTE(crinoline @ Aug 23 2006, 05:35 PM) *

dani- yes that has happened to me, it's really not Crinoboy's fault, either, he always tries to "hold it" but sometimes he just can't.

I was going to post this in "the mysterious O" but it seems to have disappeared.

I can't come from penetration. I would LOVE to. I can barely come from clit stimulation when the boy does it (he gets too rough and he gets very annoyed when I pull his hand away or tell him to stop)
I have felt like I COULD come before from penetration but it is only when we're going really, really hard and fast (I seem to really enjoy the jackhammer to the cervix sensation, it's like I have another G spot back there) G spot stim. alone is good too. The problem is that I get really, extremely close to coming, but just can't seem to push over the edge. Also, Crinoboy just can't maintain really hard and fast without coming himself.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced or, hopefully, overcome this? I just can't seem to "get" it.

Yep that's me too! It suckss! I feel like slapping him and telling him it's all his fault biggrin.gif
runnergirl
Dani – Oh man, if I am really close and he finishes before me, my legs get the shakes too! I think part of it is because when I am about to come I tense up my thighs for a prolonged period of time….but once we went to a play right afterward…and I was shaking the whole show! (about 2 hours afterward). I made him rub my legs too!!! Hehe.

Crinoline- Congrats on almost getting there…that is half the battle!!! I definitely know how you feel. When my boyfriend and I started having sex about 10 months ago or so, the only sensation I enjoyed from penetration was hard and fast. I think it was because I felt “dead down there” but after doing some research I learned that many women can’t come through penetration due to fewer nerves deeper in the vag. The more we practiced the more I became accustomed to my body and other not as extreme sensations. I know that I also had some issues that I had to talk to him about….being nervous and the like.

I started getting depressed and felt like something was wrong with me, because he gave me lots of foreplay, tried different positions…and basically every idea I came up with online he had already tried. So I start posting in the Mysterious O and found lots of support and other tips to keep trying. I started masturbating more regularly, and the boy bought me a vibe. Once I figured out how to do it myself, I showed him the way….or at least other ways of touching me. Then I got to the point where I felt I was about to get there…and then I would hear” I’m going to come,”….and just like you girls, I wanted to scream “No, you just can’t!”….but I think we found ways to work around that problem and prolong his orgasm.

My advice to you would be practice, practice, practice! Also have either of you tried switching condoms after he climaxes to keep going?? We found that helps quite a bit when I am in the mood for hard sex, because he can keep going and sometimes that extra minute or two will do it for me. That way he can continue the hard and fast motion for a longer period of time. (I still usually need him to touch my clit for a bit during the action to finally come)


Just recently, for about the last month or so, our sex has been really great and I come almost every time. If we haven’t done the deed in awhile…he tends to come quickly, so we decided that the best way for the first time is either missionary or me on top, going really really slowly. Little did we know that this would unlock the secret to making my orgasms more consistent. In both positions there is grinding on my clit and the slow penetration is a good tease to hold off his orgasm.

We added little variations to these positions that finally helped me past the problem of almost climaxing and then not. I feel like most of my orgasm comes from the penetration, but I just need the extra clit action to finally push over the edge. I also enjoy it more and he lasts longer if we start out slow, until I am about to go over the edge and then we finish fast and hard.

1) Missionary….but the CAT position style. This is the coital alignment technicque…were he positions himself up higher ( elbows by my ears) so his public bone rubs my clit. Then he rocks up and down to start instead of in and out…which excites me and holds off his orgasm longer. When I am ready, he then starts rapid in and outs, but twists his hips side to side with the motion to still hit part of my clit.

2) Woman on Top. Alright I’ve always loved this, but I liked it best in a chair or with him siting up so I get the clit action too, but usually I wouldn’t go over the edge to climax even though I always felt like I would. But, one day it worked! I was slow grinding and getting really excited, while he was flat on his back and wanted to “help.” So I started moving up and down hard and he moved side to side with my rythem. It drove me crazy and we came at the same time, which was really, really powerful to me because it was the first time that has ever happened.

If I don’t come, I make sure he finishes me off with his hand or mouth….he used to not do that after he came….and I know that used to really upset me in the back of my mind and created some underlying problems that we recently discussed and fixed.

I hope this helps!!!
greenbean
Damn, guys! Reading all this is really making miss my boy!

As some of you know I've been fucked silly for the past two weeks while hes been visiting.
His cock is bigger than I'm used to and I exprerienced the "jackhammer to the cervix" for the
first time. It really hurt at first, like menstrual cramps, and he would go more gently after hearing
my feeble yelps. I have never orgasmed from penetration alone, and only a handful of times when
my clit was stimulated during pen.

Anyway, after many times of the boy not able to control himself and going back into jackhammer
mode, I began to feel less pain and more of chance of penetration orgasm. I think it mostly has to do
with the idea of it, watching the boy go all crazy with pleasure and wanting to come with him. But alas,
hes back in London now, ..just when I was getting close to finding out if I actually could come that way.
Wish I had more time to practice with him. grrr.
maimy
Green, I feel your pain. I've still got five or six weeks to wait, and I will NOT be able to breathe easily until he's purchased a ticket home. On the bright side, when he does finally return, it will be for good this time.

*Sigh*

(Haven't been jackhammered in years by now ...)
onyva
A while back I posted about my seeming inability (or rather, loss of ability) to come with a partner. A couple of things were suggested: Kegels for my sadly out-of-shape vadge, and some mental focus.

Well, I did start doing Kegels more intensely and definitely noticed a difference in my strength in those muscles as well as my pleasure during masturbation... in fact I've been having some of the finest orgasms ever, some of them multiple/extended. Which, you could say, has been nice.

The mental stuff is harder because it means fighting what's already happening in my head, which is something like, "oh... ohh... mmm... how come I'm not there yet... okay, focus. ahh... oh yeah... DAMN IT!!!" But I have definitely been trying.

The results? Well, I've only had sex a couple of times since I posted about the problem. The first time was so incredible, and yet I COULD. NOT. COME. I actually got really mad and threw my vibrator across the room, which weirded out my partner a bit.

Last week I had a little mutual-masturbation session with a guy and it took a while, but goddamn it, I managed to squeak out an orgasm. It was a relief in more than one way -- I felt a little less dysfunctional afterward.

I'm glad that my self-love-life is so fantastic right now, because otherwise I would feel totally broken. I am trying to enjoy that part, at least, and I'm hoping for improvement with partners.
bunnyb
can't wait til tesao returns and we get a blow-by-blow account of her sexploits! wink.gif
opheliathemuse
don't you mean a blow-job-by-blow-job account?

oh yay, I know this is a rather late reply, but I thought -I-was the only one that hated clitoral stimulation. Guys are always tapping it, smacking it, licking it, doing things to it. LEAVE it the hell alone! I like penetration better too. I'm with ven, sybarite, and aural.
toastybean
im definately a penetration person too, sometimes i find myself thinking "wtf! stop f-ing around down there and just get down to business already!!"

...but do any of you other ladies find that when you haven't had clitoral stimulation in a while you want it even though you don't even like it?
Lucy79
My rule with guys, is to keep them sexually frustrated enough that they will do what you want. Flash a bit of cleavage, cross and uncross your legs, get all hot and heavy and no more a few times and they´re putty in your hands.

Men NEED sex women don´t! Or at least that´s how they see it. He´ll beg you for sex, get him to do whatever you want - sexually or not. If he´s a waste of space get another man...simple! cool.gif
pepper
wow. i have a hard time being turned on by a man that i don't respect. sorry, that stuff below would never fly with me.
gotta love a man who's got some control. and a bit of dignity too.
maimy
Lucy79, you have found ENTIRELY the wrong audience for that sort of antiquated, emotionally stunted thinking. If you aren't joking, you might try to find a community more suited to your needs elsewhere. If you are ... it is by no means evident. And that ruins a "joke" unfortunately.
princessinabox
Hi Ladies! I'm a newbie here and have been sifting through some of the threads, looking for discussion about number of sex partners.

I've been talking to a guy that I'm thinking about getting into a new relationship with. My last relationship ended 2 1/2 years ago and I've had several casual sex partners since then. Things haven't yet gotten physical with this guy and I'm just worried about having that conversation when you tell each other your sexual past. Well, I'm mostly worried about the conversation where he asks how many partners I've had. I'm just wondering how others have handled this conversation in the past. (I was a virgin at the beginning of my last serious relationship, so this is new territory for me.)

erinjane
In reply to lucy as welll:
I need sex, definatly. In fact, more often then not, I'm the one that ends up melting and losing control. But also, when I'm having sex it's with a partner, not a lap dog.

princess, in terms of how I handle it, I'm usually the one to ask. I don't care how many partners the person I'm with has had, I'm always just curious. They never seem to care about my number much either, and if they did I probably wouldn't stick around too long.
_octinoxate
Welcome to bust, princess. What, exactly, are you worried about with regards to the "sexual pasts" conversation? That he'll think you've had too many partners? Too few? That you'll find *he* has a number you don't like? General awkwardness? I feel like it would be easier to give some input on how to handle it if we knew what the problem is. For me, I've always been more interested in talking safety issues--eg, have you been tested since your last partner, etc--rather than details of the person's past sex life. The number of past partners has never been a huge deal to me or to the person I'm about to sleep with (or already am sleeping with).
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