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dayglowpink
Sststststutter- I have had a lot of problems with orgasming for about the past 2.5 years. I had the same kind of thing you describe, it started taking forever when I was by myself and I usually couldn't get it at all when I was with my guy. He was a new partner at the time, but the problem started before I met him. For me so much of this has to do with emotional issues, stress, and other psychological stuff. There's a book that really helped me called "The Elusive Orgasm" I think. I can't remember the author right now. If it continues to be a problem, I would recommend checking out that book. I am still working on this stuff; unfortunately there hasn't been a quick fix for me.
snow white
quick question, i've been seeing these vibrating rings in drug stores all over and have been wondering if they're any good. they seem so popular, i'm just wondering if they're a gimick to sell condoms or if they actualy work?
chocolatekiss
QUOTE(snow white @ Sep 4 2008, 02:00 PM) *
quick question, i've been seeing these vibrating rings in drug stores all over and have been wondering if they're any good. they seem so popular, i'm just wondering if they're a gimick to sell condoms or if they actualy work?

No they reaaaallly work
snow white
QUOTE(chocolatekiss @ Sep 7 2008, 10:08 PM) *
No they reaaaallly work


oo, good to know
je.ne.sais.pas
tried the Oring (think that's what they were called) and i loooooved it, yet boyfriend wasn't all that thrilled. he's just not as into "new" things, prefers the tried and true.......

grrrrrrrrr

runnergirl
Hello all!

This might be the ramblings of an over-paranoid person...but last weekend, I was at the beach, and I didn't want my period, so I took my bc pill pack early to make it stop. I then got kind of lazy, missed one or two, doubled up, and wasn't really paying attention. I wasn't planning on having sex with anyone. Then I met a boy Thursday, we hooked up and the condom broke. Naturally, being freaked about my erratic pill taking, I took plan b. I took the second pill Saturday (yesterday morning). I had sex with him again last night...and again the condom broke! Arg!

So, I'm thinking that plan b would still be in my system? I feel like it would be a bad idea to put that into my body again so soon. But, I'm freaking out.

I honestly can't remember how I was taking my pills because the days are all off and I didn't wait until Sunday to restart. I also just started taking anti depressants, (in July) and I wonder if they make the pill less effective??

Thanks!!

shinyx3
Runner - Sheesh, talk about stress! Call your doc. Or call Planned Parenthood. They will know.

Good luck.
Ronia D'Arc
Today simply sucked, and the only funny thing that happened was that I showed a complete and total stranger, a complete and total male stranger, my pussy.

Yes, that's right, I said pussy. And ok, he was a dermatologist, and I was actually showing him a mole on my pussy, but I still pulled down my underwear, moved one leg to the side, and fiddled with my very pink, and very sexual-looking, labia, right in front of his face. His face, which was attached to his head, which was resting a mere three inches away on the examining table so he could get a REALLY good look at my mole. And, by default, my pussy.

It was surreal. When you have a gynecological exam, your head is kept far away at the other end of the table, far from the action, and you can kind of pretend that you're not being poked and prodded with what clearly is a rusted torture device left over from the Middle Ages; you can lie there and take nice, deep, relaxing breaths, plan your day, chat amiably with the hairy-knuckled doctor while he slides a lubed finger into your most intimate places, whatever. It's all good, because there are two feet of torso separating you psychologically from the fact that a stranger is doing things to you that you definitely wouldn't let your husband get away with, not even if he was on his best behavior for ten years and put in a swimming pool and got you a horse for your birthday.

During a regular gynecological exam you can lie there and ponder those things, you can ruminate on the idiosyncracies of life, you can philosophize, because what is happening down there has nothing to do with you, really, at least not in an emotional sense. Sure, it's your vagina that white-coated person is breezily ratcheting up to the circumference of a tree limb, but it's not really your problem. It's not any more your problem than, say, figuring out how to make those collection agencies stop calling your house 840 times a day. If it is somewhat troublesome, if it creates a little snag in your sense that all is well and good--in your sense that no, of course you are not in danger in losing your car or being gouged in the uterus with a pointy object--well, you can just ignore the whole thing. You can gaze at the mauve-colored ceiling and think pleasant, philosophical thoughts. You can take a little nap. You can plan your day.

When you're forced to participate in the task at hand, when the presence of your head and the voicing of your thoughts are required elements of the transaction, it's a whole other story. Suddenly, the stranger (whose nose hairs, by the way, don't look that different, up close, from your pubic hairs) is not just a white-coated automaton but a very real human being. He is a very real male human being who, despite being kind of short, is not altogether bad-looking. He's a little bald, but he's not nearly old enough to fit into the "benign" category, so you can't help wondering, while pulling your rosy labia this way and that so you both can get a nice good look: Woah dude--what if he's TURNED ON BY THIS???

And while he explains to you afterwards--having straightened up so he is once again talking to you while looking at your face--that the mole is probably not cancerous, the burning sensation that woke you up two nights in a row was probably due to a skin tag or a wart, you try to avoid the sight of yourself in the mirror behind him, because if you don't you'll see that the corners of your mouth are twitching and you won't be able to keep from laughing. You'll start laughing in an embarrassed, obvious way, and the secret, the badly concealed secret that he is a man and you are a woman, and your pussy was just in his face, will come out of hiding and hover there, bright and undeniable, between the two of you. And then who knows what will happen.

-Ronia D'Arc

P.S. Yes, I'm totally motherfucking pimping myself here. So be it. You want more? Please come to http://roniadarc.blogspot.com
auralpoison
Uh, no, we don't want more. I tried, I failed. YOUR BLOG SUCKS. YOU ARE ABOUT AS INTERESTING AS LINT! GO THE FUCK AWAY!
mouse
yeah, seriously. you don't even have the decency to reply to a pm welcoming but gently telling you that if you pull this shit here you will get chewed a new asshole? GTFO. nobody wants your self-absorbed trolling shit here.

also: he's a FUCKING DOCTOR. don't flatter yourself.
culturehandy
Oooooh, I'm jealous, you said Pussy. Well, I hate to break it you but even us feminists say Pussy.

You want a fucking dirty word??? I took it up the ASS by a guy I'm fucking who has a big cock and he's fucked my CUNT on many an occasion.

Pussy, cunt, dick, cock, ass, tits, titties, twat, clit, cum. Ooooh, I can use smut too.
xexyz
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Sep 22 2008, 07:53 AM) *
Oooooh, I'm jealous, you said Pussy. Well, I hate to break it you but even us feminists say Pussy.

You want a fucking dirty word??? I took it up the ASS by a guy I'm fucking who has a big cock and he's fucked my CUNT on many an occasion.

Pussy, cunt, dick, cock, ass, tits, titties, twat, clit, cum. Ooooh, I can use smut too.


Must not have been that big if ass and cunt get all caps but cock is relegated to lowercase... laugh.gif tongue.gif
Sststststutter
QUOTE(dayglowpink @ Aug 29 2008, 12:36 PM) *
Sststststutter- I have had a lot of problems with orgasming for about the past 2.5 years. I had the same kind of thing you describe, it started taking forever when I was by myself and I usually couldn't get it at all when I was with my guy. He was a new partner at the time, but the problem started before I met him. For me so much of this has to do with emotional issues, stress, and other psychological stuff. There's a book that really helped me called "The Elusive Orgasm" I think. I can't remember the author right now. If it continues to be a problem, I would recommend checking out that book. I am still working on this stuff; unfortunately there hasn't been a quick fix for me.


Thanks dayglow-- I agree that emotional issues and stress were playing a big part for me. I have since improved a lot and even though sometimes am not as quick to come as other times, at least my little dry spell has passed and I'm not as hopeless about it as I was.

And um... that blogwhoring... a little ridiculous. She makes the gynecologist sound like torturous, when really, it's just uncomfortable. There's no rusty spikes involved. And I actually did have a mole removed from my inner thigh once, very close to my "pussy," by a male dermatologist... I didn't have to take my underwear off, and even so, he definitely required a female nurse or whoever she was to be in there to avoid allegations. Like mouse said, he's a doctor. He doesn't care about your pussy.
ananke
Most anti-d's don't fuck with birth control. I'd think none do, but don't want to say for sure.

And my instinct would be that your system is as confused as you (tongue.gif) so you should be fine. But I'd see a doctor anyway.

And work out what the hell is wrong with the condoms!
starpiste
I'm looking for some position advice. My man and I have been struggling to deal with issues relating to difficulties having an orgasm. Mine are medication related but his are just normal for him and usually improve as his comfort levels with his partner improve. They are getting much better, but the only position he comes in is doggy style. It's not a position I mind but it's not the most comfortable and he needs a while in one position. Are there any positions that would give him the same type of stimulation, but be better on my back?

oh, and I've never had a problem with anti-depressants and hbc. Other than the horrible mix of sexual numbing. ugh.
ananke
If it's normal for him, it sounds like a 'death grip' issue - he's conditioned himself to a high level of stimulation (taking a death grip on his wang and pounding away without finesse...). I had a tendency towards that and it only changed with no masturbating my usual way, lots of foreplay to get me mostly there before sex.
auralpoison
I suppose you try the elephant: Starting from the doggy position the woman lies down progressively so that the man completely covers her. She can leave her legs open to facilitate the penetration, or tighten her thighs to firmly squeeze her partner's penis in her vagina. The man then goes deeper by kneeling over her while penetrating from behind."

Or the elephant II: Starting from the doggy position, the woman lies down progressively with her elbows on the ground so that the man completely covers her. She can leave her legs open to facilitate the penetration, or tighten her thighs to firmly squeeze her partner's penis in her vagina. The man then penetrates from behind holding himself up like the top of a pushup.

Either way, it's easier on the knees.
mouse
i had no idea that was called "the elephant"! that is a favorite position of mine.
crinoline
me too, but my boy just calls it "turn over"
dayglowpink
QUOTE
And I actually did have a mole removed from my inner thigh once, very close to my "pussy," by a male dermatologist... I didn't have to take my underwear off, and even so, he definitely required a female nurse or whoever she was to be in there to avoid allegations


Me too! I had a mole removed from the same place. I have a kinda noticeable scar now that I don't really like, but oh well.

starpiste- what about you on your back with your feet up on his shoulders? This usually makes the vagina tighten up. Also, we do something where he's flat on his back and I get on top in the reverse cowgirl position but keep my knees bent and inside his legs. And then I lift my ass up and down if that makes any sense. He gets good stimulation and a view he really likes, but it does get tiring on my legs after a while. Also maybe spoon position with your top leg wrapped around his waist or with him holding it straight up?
dayglowpink
Is there any kind of poly thread on the boards? I didn't see anything in the relationships forum, so I just thought I'd check here. Or can I vent about poly/open relationship issues on this thread?
zoya
there used to be, a long time ago... I'll see if I can find it and bump it up..


ETA: dayglowpink - I've looked in all the forums, and I can't find it anywhere.. perhaps you should go into the community forum and bring up making a thread for it. I, for one, think that it would be a good topic to have it's own thread, as it's a pretty specific thing, which I do think warrants it's own place for discussion. But definitely bring it up in the community forum first......


dayglowpink
Okay, I'll do it!
eleanorrigby2008

Sorry, this is kind of off the topic of what everyone was talking about, but I can't seem to start a new thread like I wanted to and I'm new here.

So, me and my boyfriend were getting kind of heated last night and he started fingering me. This was the first time we've gone this far and the first time I've done anything sexual. After a little while I started to feel like I was going to pee, so I made him stop. Is this supposed to happen? I don't want to pee on the poor guy! Please help. I would be much obliged smile.gif
bob4both
Sounds to me like he found your "G-spot", which could have been very rewarding to you had he continued. I'm sure the ladies can better respond, but from my "directives" in the past it's an area located at the front of the vaginal wall that swells when stimulated. It creates the sensation of having to pee, but results in an orgasm different from that of a clitoral orgasm.

Or maybe you were so nervous you had to pee! My first orgasm (manually induced by anotherthrough mutual masturbation) caught me by such surprise (I didn't know what was happening & thought I was gonna pee, too!) that I tried to hold it back & pretty much ruined an otherwise exquisite orgasm. It wasn't until after we were done when I saw his cum leaking down my hand that it was explained that it was supposed to be that way for me as well. Oh well, live & learn...
eleanorrigby2008
QUOTE(bob4both @ Nov 3 2008, 01:25 PM) *
Sounds to me like he found your "G-spot", which could have been very rewarding to you had he continued. I'm sure the ladies can better respond, but from my "directives" in the past it's an area located at the front of the vaginal wall that swells when stimulated. It creates the sensation of having to pee, but results in an orgasm different from that of a clitoral orgasm.

Or maybe you were so nervous you had to pee! My first orgasm (manually induced by anotherthrough mutual masturbation) caught me by such surprise (I didn't know what was happening & thought I was gonna pee, too!) that I tried to hold it back & pretty much ruined an otherwise exquisite orgasm. It wasn't until after we were done when I saw his cum leaking down my hand that it was explained that it was supposed to be that way for me as well. Oh well, live & learn...


Damn, I thought that might be it! Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who was confused the first time. Thank you so much smile.gif Next time I'll let him continue...
bob4both
Well, hopefully he'll find it again! Busties, any advice for e...?
eleanorrigby2008
So, my boy and I were going to have sex for the first time the other night, but he couldn't keep it up. We wrote it off as nerves and decided that it wasn't a big deal. Then we tried again the next night. He was totally ready to go, but when he put the condom on he lost his erection again. Does this happen to other people? We're planning on waiting until my birth control takes effect in a few weeks, but does anyone have any advice about how I can help him keep it up?
auralpoison
EXTREMELY COMMON to lose wood during the condom process. It's a hassle, but a needed hassle. I advise including the condom into foreplay, that way it's in place & he has no time to wilt. I used to feel all awkward doing it, but try to learn to put a condom on with your mouth. It'll take a few tries, but once you've got it down, it's GOLD.

As far as Eleanorrigby2008 & her gspot: the first time I had a penetration gpost orgasm my head nearly blew off. I knew I *had* one, I just didn't know how to find it. So I went here to get some female friendly tips. I realized that I could feel the difference in texture compared to the rest of the smoothness of my Britney. My g feels kind of . . . ruffled? I purchased an Archer Wand on the rec of a Busties & it ruled. (I am not going to even start one of those alarmist glass conversations.) I advise taking a look around at Babeland glomming some new knowledge.
starpiste
Also, condoms can be cold when you put them on, especially if you add lube to them. This is not good for erections so warm them up between your hands before taking them out of the package. Even better if the package is torn open and near by before you get heavy into it.
auralpoison
All I can say is that as far as condoms go, STAY WAY FROM SPERMICIDE. They may give you some coochie issues. Nonoxly 9 is a yeasty bastard. No reason for either of you to get the yeasties. But you seem to have a good head, ask if us if you got drama.
eleanorrigby2008
Thank you so much!
erinjane
My boy was having that problem too. He's a lot less experienced than me and it took a few tries before he stopped being so nervous. I just kept telling him that it wasn't a big deal and I didn't care and to stop thinking about it. Easier said than done. After I brought a bottle of lube into the bedroom with us, it got much easier. Whenever he would start to lose his erection I would just start playing with him and pretty much giving him a handjob until he got hard. Sometimes we had to do it a few times over before he would really relax but it really helped him to stop thinking about it and just enjoy what we were doing without the pressure.
auralpoison
Dood, Busties got yo back. Keep on keepin' on. You'll get good advice from us, no pressure, no drama.
eleanorrigby2008
Great, thanks!

At the risk of this sounding more like an "Advice for eleanorrigby" thread than a virgin's questions thread, I have one more question. I'm really afraid of giving my boy a blow job because I've never done it before and I don't want to hurt him. Any more words of wisdom?
zoya
eleanorrigby - I've bumped the oral sex thread for you. Go back through those archives - all those pages (and they go pretty far back!) are a wealth of all sorts of info about giving blow jobs.

have fun! I love giving head, it's fun! you can't really hurt him as long as you watch your teeth.....
eleanorrigby2008
Will do.

And this is the General Sex thread, not the virgin one. My bad.
eleanorrigby2008
Okay, so my guy and I had sex for this first time today. I didn't really feel anything. I had to be really agressive in order to get anything out of it. Is this normal? I don't think he was completely hard, either.
candycane_girl
He's a virgin too right? Or was. It's possible that he was just really nervous and couldn't get completely hard. The first time is never perfect. Just keep at it! Also, spend time on your own figuring out what gets you off and if you have to be more aggressive with him, just go for it.
bottleblack
So..my fiance and I have been having a bit of an issue in the bedroom. Basically he cums soo fast once he is inside me. Ocasionally he can last at least two minutes or so, but sometimes it is almost instant. He has tried distracting himself or pulling out when he feels like he is getting close, but that doesn't seem to work. The buildup and then denial of his orgasm makes him go numb or lose his erection. It's frustrating because...it's just so fast! I hardly have time to enjoy it. He tries to keep me happy even after he is done, but it's just no good because I know that he is no longer aroused and therefore neither am I. Sometimes he can last longer the second time, but it sucks to wait those 15 minutes in between before he's good to go again. We have even tried the condomns that are numbing, but he found they were TOO numbing and he couldn't really feel anything at all.
And to top it all off, not only does he cum way too fast, but I cum way too slow. In fact, I have never had an orgasm with him. By myself I can, but not so far with him.
Aren't we a pair!?
Any advice?
culturehandy
What about a cock ring?

Or can he get you off first without penetration, then once you orgasm, he could get you off.

I'd also suggest that he masturbate on his own so he can last longer.
bottleblack
I thought a cock ring was just used to keep it up? Thankfully that is not a problem.
Yes often he will try to help me get off first before penetration, but I just don't! For some reason I can't, my mind just keeps thinking how long this is taking and how he must be getting tired and then it is just impossible so I stop him.
*sigh*
thirtiesgirl
I'd suggest the solo masturbation practice for him. He can learn to overcome the early ejaculation issue with practice and some good mental dialogue of his own. Same for you, too, when he's giving you hand or oral stimulation. Just keep up the good self-talk and don't think about him getting tired. Not that he isn't, but sex is a shared activity in my estimation, so you deserve all the good things he's doing for you, just as he deserves the good things you do for him. You can also occasionally shift position when he's giving you hand or oral stimulation. For example, if you start on your back, you can move to your side, or sitting upright, etc., and take a few moments in between position shifts to give him a little break to get his hand strength back.
bottleblack
I will bring that up with thim thirties girl. But we did have some success tonight! We tried some numbing condomns again and this time they really worked! Things lasted a lot longer much to my glee! Poor boy probably couldn't feel very much of it though...
dolor
BottleB,

When he's inside you... what does he do? Rapid thrusting?

If so get him to slooooooow down.... push himself all the way in... concentrate on the base of his shaft (rather than the tip)... and gentle sideways back and forth rubbing against your clit...

In general, Try to get him to shift his focus from his pleasure to yours... caressing you etc. This can be crucial to both slowing him down and bringing you along, addressing both problems.

Hope that helps... (Did for me!)
erinjane
FYI, cock rings aren't only for keeping things hard, they can also delay ejaculation, although not very everyone. The babeland.com website actually has a great tutorial in their "how-to" section. I would also suggest that when he feels he's getting too close to practice pulling out for a minute until he feels good to go again. And of course, practice practice practice everything that's been mentioned. tongue.gif
bottleblack
QUOTE(dolor @ Nov 26 2008, 12:37 PM) *
BottleB,

When he's inside you... what does he do? Rapid thrusting?

If so get him to slooooooow down.... push himself all the way in... concentrate on the base of his shaft (rather than the tip)... and gentle sideways back and forth rubbing against your clit...

In general, Try to get him to shift his focus from his pleasure to yours... caressing you etc. This can be crucial to both slowing him down and bringing you along, addressing both problems.


He still orgasms very quickly even if he is going veery slow. He is very good at focusing on my pleasure, but actually sometimes he will even cum just while pleasuring me..for example once he came just from playing with my boobs..he still had his pants on! I'm starting to think maybe he suffers from premature ejaculation...
eleanorrigby2008
My guy has the same problem. He cums after just a few minutes inside of me. It feels nice while we're having sex, but it doesn't last long enough to build up to anything for me! HELP! Oh, and no cock rings, please. That's just not going to happen.
eleanorrigby2008
My guy has the same problem. He cums after just a few minutes inside of me. It feels nice while we're having sex, but it doesn't last long enough to build up to anything for me! HELP! Oh, and no cock rings, please. That's just not going to happen.
eleanorrigby2008
Whoops! Sorry about the double post, everyone.
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