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sniggles
I actually find direct clitoral stimulation to be painful... I kinda feel like I'm missing out on something. I also can't orgasm from fingers or oral, only intercourse.
angie_21
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Feb 27 2009, 02:16 PM) *
And to follow up on her claim that if the vaginal walls were that sensitive then women would have orgasms during childbirth, well guess what Susie, some women do! This woman doesn't seem like much of an expert on anything.

By that logic, wouldn't women always come from riding bikes, horseback riding, etc? Now I have had some interesting experiences whilst ATV-ing, but you really need to be in the right frame of mind. And childbirth doesn't sound like the best time for that.

QUOTE(roseviolet @ Feb 28 2009, 10:08 AM) *
CH, you and I have a lot in common. I have never been able to get off with my fingers alone, nor from a partner's fingers. Ditto for oral sex. It can feel nice for a while, but then it gets annoying or even painful.


ME TOO!! And I have always felt like a freak and like I was missing out on something. Wow, I think the only lesson here is that we all have to stop worrying so much and trust our bodies.

Oh yeah I heart deep dickin' too!
ketto
QUOTE(angie_21 @ Mar 17 2009, 11:27 PM) *
By that logic, wouldn't women always come from riding bikes, horseback riding, etc? Now I have had some interesting experiences whilst ATV-ing, but you really need to be in the right frame of mind. And childbirth doesn't sound like the best time for that.


This wasn't directed at me, but how did you come away with that? The fact is that yes, some women do have orgasms during child birth. Some probably do come from riding bikes, horseback riding, etc. I know a woman who can orgasm from a bumpy bus ride or from using the old pedal type of sewing machine (that makes your thighs rub together as you pedal). Candycane wasn't generalizing anyone's experience, her point was that every woman is different and every woman enjoys different things, while Suzie Bright was making a mass generalization.
angie_21
QUOTE(ketto @ Mar 18 2009, 11:46 AM) *
This wasn't directed at me, but how did you come away with that? The fact is that yes, some women do have orgasms during child birth. Some probably do come from riding bikes, horseback riding, etc. I know a woman who can orgasm from a bumpy bus ride or from using the old pedal type of sewing machine (that makes your thighs rub together as you pedal). Candycane wasn't generalizing anyone's experience, her point was that every woman is different and every woman enjoys different things, while Suzie Bright was making a mass generalization.


Something got lost in the translation here. I meant, by Suzie's logic, if sensitivity = orgasm, women everywhere should be having orgasms on trains, bikes, motorcycles, etc simply from clitoral stimulation. Clearly while it does happen sometimes, it certainly isn't every time. If is were as easy as all that, we wouldn't even be having this conversation! I was agreeing with candycane, not disagreeing.
candycane_girl
I don't know why my name is on that but I never said that about oral. That quote was from roseviolet.
angie_21
Oh no, sorry! I was doing a little too much quoting and copying and pasting for my own computer skills. I went back and fixed it.
candycane_girl
I have a question for some of you bigger busties or anyone who can help. Every time I try to have sex with my boyfriend with me on top it just doesn't work. I don't know if it's because I'm a big girl or what. But it's like I just can't get him in deep enough. It's awkward and I can't feel anything. I don't know why it's like this because whenever we do other positions it's great. Is there anything I can do? Gah!
flanker_ji
With woman on top sex, I find that the penetration isn't deep enough for me. It never occured to me that my size had anything to do with it, but maybe my belly has gotten in the way. I have to concentrate really hard on thrusting my pelvis forward and up, and I guess it's probably easier to do that without extra weight on the abdomen, hmm...

Have you had this issue with other partners, cc_girl? Have you ever had your boy support your back with his thighs?
candycane_girl
I've had this problem with the last few guys I've been with, ever since I gained a lot of weight. When I was in high school I loved being on top but now that I'm bigger it just doesn't seem to work. I don't know if it's because of my fat thighs or what.
angie_21
Hmm.. I love being on top because then I can control exactly where inside me he is and at what angle, which can be more important than depth. Have you tried various on-top positions? And is he helping out with thrusting? I find I have trouble with it when I am physically tired for whatever reason, because I am doing most of the work and sometimes just can't keep up the pace I need. So for me it is a fitness issue, not size.

I need help myself right now.. sorry if this is TMI, not that it would be for this forum, but I still feel weird giving this much personal detail.. I have been having problems with a lost sex drive. I lost it a year ago and started having pain during sex because my body just wouldn't respond. I quit the pill a few months ago and it really helped, especially with the pain, but I am nowhere near recovered. I think it is due to a lot of stress in our personal lives (it definitely follows a pattern), and also because I am afraid of having pain again (which happened last night. btw, I've been to the doctor twice and there is supposedly no physical problem happening down there to cause it). So I pretty much know what is causing the problem, but have no idea how to fix it, short of magically solving our problems by coming into a large inheritance and moving far away from both our extended families. Has anyone had to solve this kind of thing before, and found ways to get back their sex drive despite personal problems? I never used to react this way to stress, it used to just make me hornier, so this makes it even more frustrating!
flanker_ji
Angie, I haven't had to deal with an issue like yours before, but I'm curious if you and your guy talk about the things you're stressing over in bed/bedroom. Have you tried leaving the talk and any physical reminders that might be in your bedroom outside of it? The first thing that comes to mind is that you need a space where none of that's allowed, then you need to live in that space with patience, reminding each other of why you're together until those feelings override everything else.
stargazer
candy, i had a similar situation with my last partner. things were better on my back. he was short, but, he had girth. he was so good on top and in other positions that i got over being on top.

angie, your post is SO not tmi. have you looked at some of the posts in this thread? wink.gif can you say more about the pain. is it when there is penetration? as for bringing sexy back for ya, have you've been masturbating or use toys alone or with your partner? sorry for all of the questions and that you are having difficulties with sex right now.

angie_21
Oops, hit the back button and double posted!
angie_21
Thanks stargazer and flanker. It's been a year now and I've kinda been hoping my body would figure things out for itself by now, and pretty frustrated it hasn't. I've never had any kind of sexual hangup or difficulty before (maybe I should feel pretty lucky!) and I don't really know how to approach a problem like this! We have brought in toys, lingere, role playing, reading erotica together, etc (we have always done these things, though, it's just that we stopped last year when I was having problems and are slowly bringing them back). We he very understanding and sweet, and we don't have any intimacy problems, especially not in terms of being able to discuss sex. We discuss it quite often and in great detail, what we like and why, what we want to try, fantasies, pretty much anything. And yeah, we only have sex and sleep in the bedroom, nothing else.

As for the pain part.. it isn't "entry" pain. It is only with deeper penetration, and specifically only toward the "front," kind of above the g-spot and pelvic bone. Sometimes it goes away with extra lubrication, but I can also be literally dripping wet and still hurt. It feels kinda like there is exposed raw skin, but can be very sharp like something is stretching or tearing. No bleeding though, ever. The thing that makes no sense is that we used to have a LOT of very rough sex, and I would get pretty sore, and a deep thrust at the wrong angle could be pretty uncomfortable, but it would never hurt, you know? Even when it was first thing in the morning and I wasn't wet at all, it wouldn't hurt, I'd just get sore faster. Last year I got tested 3 times for yeast, the general STD spectrum (though there isn't a reason to think I'd have gotten any), BV, and UTIs, and pap tested twice, all with completely normal results. So my doctor told me it was probably psychological, and I haven't gone back since. It got a lot better in the last few months, then came back this week, so I am just at a loss for what to do and what to think.
stargazer
oh wow, angie. have you considered going to another gyne to get a different opinion? it sounds like you are describing a pretty specific amount of pain. if i had pain during intercourse like you described, i would lose my sex drive as well.

ETA: I know this will sound weird, but I remember alot of busites talking about Female ejaculation. I thought I would share the link.
dayglowpink
angie- I'm having what seems like kinda a similar problem. I've been having weird pain related to sex for a few months at least. Sometimes I have burning around my urethra and outer vagina after my guy comes in me or I get this tearing type of feeling in my perineum. Like you, I've had a lot of rough sex before without anything like the tearing. So that's really weird to me, and it bums me out, because once it feels like it has gotten a little torn, it will be sore for a couple of days. I have had the burning in the past, and I think it's some kind of reaction to the pH of semen. I was tested for a couple of things, but I don't think my doc tested me for BV, so that's something I do want to get checked out if this continues. At that time, he did think I had a little bit of yeast which I treated a couple of times with Diflucan, but that didn't seem to affect things too much. I've been reading about BV, and that could explain the burning thing for me, but I'm not sure about the tearing. I think there is psychological stuff going on for me, too. We had been having a lot of problems and broke up for a little while, but now things are much better, and I had hoped that once we worked through some stuff it would get better. It may just take more time. Sorry I guess I don't have any advice, but I wanted to commiserate. Have you thought about seeing a therapist?
angie_21
Stargazer - I do think you are right. I am all around unimpressed with my doctor's appraoch to my problem. I think I am going to back, but ask to be referred to a specialist. Then I will go through the six month process of finding a new GP. On the other hand, we had sex last night with no pain.. I tried my best to relax and focus on our romantic feelings for eachother, and it seemed to work. I do wonder if it is just taking more than a month for my body to recover from the pill. But you're right, in the meantime I really should see someone to make sure everything is OK.

dayglow - aww, that sucks. My doctor also thought it was yeast at first. She tested for it and treated me at the same time, then never called to let me know that the test results were negative, so I went through 4 boxes of monistat afterwards thinking I was just having recurring yeast infections, before I finally went back and found out it wasn't the problem at all. After causing even more irritation from the monistat. Grr. Then when all the other tests came back normal, she looked at me like I was kind of crazy, and said, well we'll do another round of tests just in case, but if they are normal, the only thing I can think is that the problem is psychological. Never mind that she hadn't even suggested trying to go off the pill, which is known to cause all kinds of problems... extra grr. I guess I just haven't wanted to leave her office because it is the only place in the city where you can get an appointment the same week you call (hmm, I wonder why?).

It is nice to have someone to commiserate with, and at least know I am not crazy. I've thought about seeing a therapist a couple times, but I am very untrusting of them (bad experience with a family member seeing therapists that just made their condition worse and prescribed excessive amounts of drugs), and I also do think the problem has a physical source somewhere. It is frustrating not to be able to have found a physical source though, because I don't think I'm crazy, and I'm left feeling pretty helpless about it all. It has been a long time since I have been able to relax and have a happy feeling towards the idea of having sex.. which maybe is a huge part of the problem! I've also just read that having a "tilted uterus" can cause a feeling similar to what I described, because it causes the cervix and uterus to be bumped around more intensely during sex than usual. My experience is a little different than yours though - the pain only happens during penetration, and actually only during anything that causes friction. As soon as we are done, I feel completely normal again. I am also lucky, although it strained our relationship a bit, we came out much stronger in the end because of how very sweet and patient and understanding he was about it. I think you should go to a specialist/gynecologist too - there are a lot of things that can cause these problems that I wasn't tested for by my GP. Also, based on your description, I have to ask, are you on the pill, and are you using lots of lube? If not, it may be that you are having friction problems, especially if you are on the pill. I found that while I still got wet when I was on the pill, I would still feel dry, and things were uncomfortable. Quitting the pill has helped a lot because of that, but if that's not an option, have you tried lots of lube? Also, have you been tested for bladder infections? My doctor did tell me that if you have been having UTIs, it can cause sensitivity of the urethra, which will hurt during sex.

Yikes, this post is really long. Hope things work out for you, let me know how it goes!
lapis
Angie,
are you using lots of lube--not just what your body makes? Going off the pill can make things wanky for a long time. Also, have you asked your doctor about applying progesterone cream to the spot? I have a friend who had pain in the same spot each time and she applies cream to it and all is well. You could probably find some wild yam cream at the natural food store that can be used in this manner. It really could be shifting hormones or scar tissue or trauma coming back up. Just some other ideas.

(I never have time to post any more--hi everybody!)
angie_21
ooh that is a good idea. I got out a mirror today and took the time to identify the sore spot. It is not as deep as I thought, but it is definitely there. I kinda hurt myself poking at it.. Then I called the doctor. On vacation for the next 3 weeks, dammit! In the meantime, I might look up the wild yam.

dayglow - I have had a very hard time finding websites with any useful information at all, but this one might help.

stargazer
angie, i'm glad you are going to see a gynie. let us know what happens.
dayglowpink
Thanks for the suggestions! I do think I am going to go see a gyn. I had been seen by my PCP, and I like him a lot, but it would probably be good to get an expert opinion. I'm not on the pill and never have been (except for a few months about 10 years ago), so that's not an issue for me. Sometimes the friction thing and not being wet enough/using enough lube may have to do with it. But the thing is that it's a newer thing, and we really haven't changed our typical patterns with that stuff. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with therapists. I've always had really good or at the worse, mediocre experiences, so I'm a big advocate. I also work in the field. If you do decide to see someone, there has to be a good one out there somewhere. Anyway, hope we both figure things out.
stargazer
So, after watching Oprah today, Dr. Berman encouraged parents to talk about masturbation with their teenage daughters. She even encouraged the use of vibrators for them. Of course, alot of moms were not comfortable with this notion. I guess I was curious what everyone else thought about giving your daughter or sister or someone in their tweens/teens a vibrator.

I remember Dr. Elders being controversial with encouraging masturbation with teens. I think that lead to her not being Surgeon General if I remember correctly. While I know there has been a movement to teach teenagers that oral sex is sex, it was the first time the use of a vibrator for a young woman was encouraged.

I started thinking about my sex education and my mother's discussions with me about sex. My mother gave me the technical talk about my body when I got my period. But, we NEVER talked about sex in regards to pleasure. I think my mom's past of sexual abuse has really confused her notion of pleasure and sexuality. So, I was more taught that sex was shameful and girls were pigs who enjoyed it. Yup, my mom called me that when I was fooling around with a childhood friend. I was always confused by that 'cause sex/touching/masturbation was pleasing to me growing up (still is). That was my mom's issues and not mine.

Maybe I should've put this post in the masturbation thread. blink.gif
culturehandy
I don't remember my mother talking to me about masturbation, I do remember her telling me sex was okay, it was healthy, just be safe.

I didn't talk to my mother about toys and stuff until my mid 20's.

I know there is a certain stigma, at least when i was growing up, about masturbation, you didn't do it and if you did do it, you didn't talk about it. Ever. I think because teen girls can be uncomfortable about their bodies, that having your mom give you a vibrator when you are discovering your sexuality would be a little awkward. Plus I don't think teenagers want to talk to their mom about something that they may see as a taboo.
prophecy_grrl
Star, I am tivoing this episode. I mostly like Dr. Berman, and I love the idea of centering the sex-talk with girls on pleasure, I think it's actually pretty radical.

My mom and I had our share of differences and dysfunction, but I think the sex thing was something she did right. I got the standard safe sex stuff (she started when I was pretty young - maybe 10?) She never gave me the "wait til marriage" line but did say that sex should be between people who care for and respect each other. I vividly remember her telling me that I would get to the point where I would want to have sex, that it was normal to have those feelings, that sex feels good, that's why people do it. All that considered, she *never* talked about masturbation or orgasm or sex toys. To be fair, she didn't talk to my brothers about it either, but I do think masturbation is still something that every body expects boys to do, but not so much girls.

I think this ties really nicely to Jessica Valenti's recent book "Yes Means Yes". There's really good stuff about women claiming power over their sexuality, rather than fearing it, and how a more positive view of female sexuality can really combat rape culture.
angie_21
My mom gave me all the technical talk, and encouraged me to ask any questions I needed to. I was even comfortable going to her to talk about my first kiss, and later about going on the pill. Although I got the wait until marriage talk, my parents never actually discouraged sexuality and I don't think they expected for a second that I actually would wait that long. All this despite the fact that my mom is not a very sexual person, and not very comfortable with sex. They are very traditional in terms of their attitudes, and sometimes I wish I could help them out and give them some advice lol. I think I would be buying my mom a vibrator someday!

I think that if parents can be more open with their children, though it is akward and embarrassing, that is the first step to young adults actually understanding their sexuality instead of being ashamed or afraid of it. I remember, back in the day, only boys masturbated because they were dirty and gross, but it was definitely not supposed to be something girls did. Now thanks to HBO, everyone knows that everyone masturbates, and I think that's great! I also know I would have loved a vibrator lol. I think that access to sex toys, of the vanilla kind, at least, would probably do wonders for helping teenagers understand sexuality before actually going out and having sex, and would also give teenage couples a safe sex option not involving a possible pregnancy. It's almost similar to the question of, should parents help their kids get a hold of birth control - should we think of it as encouraging sex, or encouraging safe, responsible and informed sex?
dayglowpink
I remember my mom asking me if I had ever masturbated when she was giving me a "sex talk." I had been doing it for a while, but I was so embarrassed that I just said no. She told me something like that she had done it before and that there was nothing wrong with it. I never had a close relationship with my mom growing up, and I was embarrassed about a lot of things with her, so this was just pretty much another example of this. She tried to be fairly open with me about stuff, but the overall dynamics of our relationship made it hard. I don't think she knew much about toys at that time and still seems to be fairly naive about a lot of stuff, so that's probably why she never mentioned anything like that. My stepdad and I tease her sometimes because she's pretty clueless about sex. She had no idea what a cock ring was when that came up recently. I do think it's great for kids to be educated, but there's usually weirdness when hearing about stuff like this from your parents. It makes you have to think about their sexual life which tends to be uncomfortable for most folks.
auralpoison
My vagina hurts. Well, my cervix actually. She sustained a couple vicious pokes post-position shift. She is not happy.

On to sex talk: My mom came home with an anonymous paper grocery sack full of books. 70s teen sex ed books in 1986. She thrust them into my arms, mumbled something about asking her if I had any questions. That was the extent of our sex talk. And by then it was far too late.

Even as adults, my mom couldn't handle the sex talk. I made a joke once about buying her a vibrator & the look she gave me was between, "Oh my god, she knows about sex toys!" & "Who the hell does she think she is, I HAVE a vibrator!". I remember coming across the lame shit my folks had growing up: benwah balls, a vibrating egg, & a "neck massager" from Lillian Vernon. As an adult? Her taste still ran cheap & poorly made. And oddly, she seemed to prefer length to girth, which was surprising. My dad must've been a grower & not a shower.
lapis
I think it would be awesome if all gals got vibrators with "the talk." So many friends of mine never masturbated or even had orgasms until they had intercourse with guys, or until they made out with guys who explored their bodies. How cool would if girls' sexuality could be cultivated from within--then the boys wouldn't have to be vehicles for pleasure in the same kind of way. I will consider this.
devotchka
Hello Busties. I have been lurking for a good few months (I will get my butt over to the introductions thread as soon as I'm sone here!), so I feel I know you laidies a little bit and wondered if I could get some help on a problem I am having in the bedroom. I'm sorry if this has been raised before and hopefully it isn't too crude, heh.

The issue is, I have great sex with my boyfriend. Amazing sex. But I have never reached orgasm. I always get very close and feel the contractions and stuff, but then there seems to be a wall that I can't push through and actually come. I can't do it on my own either, I just reach the same barrier. Is there something wrong with me? I am getting frustrated with myself and my boyfriend is starting to think it's his fault sad.gif
culturehandy
An orgasm is not only about physicality's, it's also in your head.

as always, if you're going to have a conversation with your boy about anything sexual outside the bedroom.

I think you just need to experiment some more, just let go of all your inhibitions, is there something holding you back? Is there something going on in your mind that might be causing you to hold back?
devotchka
Hm, see that's why I am so frustrated with it! We have a very healthy sexual relationship. We are both confident, both know what each other likes. We're also very open in terms of talking about our sex life with eachother. I am not sure what to do.
candycane_girl
Have you reached orgasm by yourself? It's a lot better to at least know what gets you off on your own before trying to let someone else get you off. For me, personally, I find that sometimes I just can't orgasm. I go through little phases where it simply doesn't happen. So I let it be and then don't think about it until the next time. I think the best thing is not to overthink it. Sex can be great without an orgasm and orgasms tend to happen when you aren't concentrating too hard.
angie_21
Me too with going throughorgasm dry spells. Also, I never really had one until I was 21 or so, 5 years after first having sex, and probably after almost 10 years of trying to get there myself. Even then, it wasn't until the last few years that I could get there more than once or twice a year. It never bothered me when I was younger because I just had fun with myself lol. It was frustrating for sure, though, once a guy was involved and I hid my "inabilities" for over a year. At least you are past the first step of being open about it!

2 things that helped me:
1. kegels. they're easy, so just try it. They not only train your orgasm muscles, but are great for keeping you aware of your whole body down there.
2. completely losing inhibitions, and getting really crazy. You have to tune out all your thoughts about getting there, or you will literally talk yourself out of having an orgasm. This is the most challenging thing, and I still do it when I'm stressed out. Sometmes it takes either really dirty talk, or for my boy to suprise me with an extra little bump I wasn't expecting.

Also, candycane is right, you can have a lot of orgasms that aren't mind-blowing, and not know that you're actually having them if you're expecting major fireworks every time.
devotchka
Thank you for your advice ladies. I shall definately try kegels!
pollystyrene
angie, I really need to work on my kegels, but can't find a straight answer about how to do the exercise....I know *how* to do it, but how long do you hold it for, and how many? Do you do it twice a day?

I always forget to do them, so I think I'm going to put a reminder by my toothbrush, so I'll get the reminder at least twice a day and can do them while I'm brushing my teeth. It doesn't matter if I do it standing up, does it?
auralpoison
Y'know, I do 'em anywhere, whenever. You can be pumping pussy iron on the subway, in your office, or getting your nails done.

For anybody who doesn't know about their kegels, a refresher: The Babeland Tutorial On Kegels! It does give rec's on reps.
pollystyrene
Thanks, aural! Has anyone tried those Smart Balls? I was thinking of getting some. Can't you just wear them around? If you do wear them during your regular daily activities, do they provide stimulation or is it just exercise? Or both?
auralpoison
I've wondered about them myself, Polly. You can walk around with them in, although if they're all they're cracked up to be I'm not sure I would: Nobody needs to see me shuddering & making an O face at the grocery. Anyway, you get some exercise & some pleasure. They also seem reasonably cheap, under thirty bucks.
angie_21
Hmm, I think I should try those too!

Whenever I'm bored, sitting on the bus, talking on the phone, sitting at work, etc, I usually just do a few. I try to vary which part of the muscles I hold and for how long. It's not an organized workout or anything, but I think it works. I've also noticed that it feels like slightly different muscles get worked when you are lying down or standing versus sitting.

I have been working on kegels recently and quite enjoyed the results last night smile.gif
shoveit
AP- o face at the grocery, thats hilarious.

I went to an anne summers party where the chick was tryin to sell those remote control vibes that you wear like panties?? i dont think i would trust my partner with the remote, going out to dinner and tryin not to make a scene while my chair vibrates doesnt sound so appealing! this is what she actually suggested.. not so convinced.
jsmith
I was just wondering about those ben wa balls. I'm sooo tempted to get some! I probably will when I get back from vacation...
I'm particularly interested in these. What do you all think? Would this "real skin" stuff be hard to keep clean?
Or I might get a set of the plain gold/silver ones. Only 7.95!
kittenb
I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for sex board games? When trying new stuff, I am more comfortable if we can bring it up in a silly and laughing way. I am looking for something that is fun, a little challanging, silly, but not totally stupid. Affordable would be nice too. Thanks!
auralpoison
Kittenb, have you considered creating your own? I mean, you're a fun, smart, sexy gal, you could probably come up with something more fun (Is it horrible that I wanted to type "funner"?) & sexier than most of what's out there. You could start with looking at something like this to get some ideas. Hell, get together with some of your girlfriends over a drink & nosh & see if they have any ideas.
crinoline
I'm back! (you prolly didn't realize I was gone, but whatevs)

Anyway, so I just got back in the U.S., and had sex for the first time in over two weeks... ouch!! It was like he had to break the seal all over again. I knew that I got uncomfortably tight after five days or so, but this just sucked!
Does anyone else have this problem or some advice?
kittenb
AP - I'll have to consider that for the future. I actually ended up getting this game. I paid more than I had intended to but I got to support my local LGBTQ business so that makes up for it rolleyes.gif .
Our schedules are just busy these days and I feel that we are in danger of falling into a rut. So we've made plans to have a "date night" with the game on Wednesday.
I also picked up some silly dice that lead to quite a nice quickie before we went out for dinner so - bonus!
ketto
Haha, I just saw an old Savage Love column and the response had me laughing out loud.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=267471

I know many boys who could use this.
sageykins
Crin-
Because of our jobs and our hours, we usually crash by 830 at night and are completely out of it and unable to love on each other. We finally got some the other night, and oh yes. It hurt.
I think its just lack of it- if we had the energy and time to have it on a more regular basis (like more than once a week) I think I'd be better able to handle him when he gets in me.
Ouch.
crinoline
yeah, it just kinda sucks. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to keep myself more "open" for lack of a better word. I mean this time, even his fingers hurt!
dayglowpink
crinoline- Were you anxious at all? That could have made it worse. Or maybe you guys were so excited to get going that you didn't let yourself get aroused enough. Just some ideas. You could try using a dildo or your own fingers while you are away to keep yourself loosened up. Before I lost my virginity I had gotten myself so worried about it hurting that I used to stretch myself out with my fingers every time I masturbated. It seemed to work, because it didn't hurt at all the first time I actually had penetration with a penis.
crinoline
dayglow- That might be part of the problem. We did get super excited, and that always makes him try to go faster.
He bought me a dildo (a small one), but I've never really liked using it. I've never considered just using it for "stretching" though. Worth a try!
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