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girltrouble
delurks
i knew you were gone crino. (and i kinda missed your weird kittycreature thingy avi.)
/relurks
tommynomad
QUOTE(kittenb @ May 30 2009, 10:20 AM) *
I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for sex board games? When trying new stuff, I am more comfortable if we can bring it up in a silly and laughing way. I am looking for something that is fun, a little challanging, silly, but not totally stupid. Affordable would be nice too. Thanks!

Hi kittenb,

Here's the most comprehensive list:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeksearch.ph...q=sex&B1=Go

Other possibilities:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/8550
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/28100

I've also heard that the party game Funny Friends is rather racy, but I don't think it's so much a couple thing:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/16366

As far as affordability goes, the more popular of these games can often be found at swapshops and thrift stores.

Good luck!
angie_21
Thanks for the game list!

Crinoline, I get that all the time. Which is weird because I never used to. If I completely don't think about sex for a few days, I find it takes a lot longer to get all worked up once we start fooling around, it's like you need to keep your vagina all tuned up all the time, or it gets rusty! The worst part is, once you get nervous about it once, it makes it harder to relax the next time, and it hurts again. Annoyingly enough, sometimes the only thing I can do is try to completely not think about it.

I also find that giving a good, long blow job before actual penetration works really well for this problem because it gets me randy if I wasn't already, and it prolongs "foreplay" so things aren't as rushed and my body has more time to prepare for it.


twelve_percent
So, good news. I lost my virginity to a really great guy that I met while visiting my sister. He was so sweet about it too. He held back three times so it wouldn't be too short. I'm happy to say that I had a very good first time!
kittenb
Congratulations 12%!
roseviolet
Congrats, 12%! Glad to hear it was such a positive experience!
tommynomad
Congrats, 12%.

Angie, the thought of "rusty vagina" made me shiver. Sounds like a punk band. laugh.gif
tommynomad
I also just found this column by my friend Yehuda on sex games:

http://jergames.blogspot.com/2007/11/sex-games.html
Little_Hobbit
hey, im a bit new to site but have been reading back a bit and thought maybe some of you could give me a few suggestions... basically im going down to visit my sort of exboyfriend on monday (its a bit complicated,but anyway) and when were going out we always wanted to try blindfolding and tying up eachother,but we never got round to it and so weve made a pact to definately try it out this visit...but now im a bit worried what to do when ive got him all blindfolded!any one got any good suggestions theyve tried/think would work? as he put it "anything and everything"
its going to be the first sex ive had in about 4 months so i want to make it as good as possible!
thanks!
tommynomad
QUOTE(Little_Hobbit @ Jun 13 2009, 04:09 AM) *
hey, im a bit new to site but have been reading back a bit and thought maybe some of you could give me a few suggestions... basically im going down to visit my sort of exboyfriend on monday (its a bit complicated,but anyway) and when were going out we always wanted to try blindfolding and tying up eachother,but we never got round to it and so weve made a pact to definately try it out this visit...but now im a bit worried what to do when ive got him all blindfolded!any one got any good suggestions theyve tried/think would work? as he put it "anything and everything"
its going to be the first sex ive had in about 4 months so i want to make it as good as possible!
thanks!


He's given you the green light, so just enjoy yourself. Before you do anything, though, agree on a safe word (other than 'Stop,' 'No,' or 'Don't,' because those are fun to say) so that he can signal you when he doesn't like something.

Have fun: ex-sex is hawt.
stargazer
Hi Little_Hobbit, welcome to the Lounge. We ask all newbies to introduce themselves in the Newbie Thread to avoid being viewed as a troll.

You might want to look through the BDSM about the use of safewords and types of play. Mama GT has schooled us all about the use of safewords and clear communication with one's partner with sex play. So, I would ask my partner to talk with me a little more about what "everything and anything" means for him. Unfortunately, the sadist that I am would only be too happy to do anything, but, your ex might have different ideas. Have fun and be safe!
Little_Hobbit
THanks guys, I dont think he was meaning anything particulary hard core, just a bit of teasing and stuff and I was worried Id kinda run out of ideas for that after a short while! Ill definately go and have a good gander through the BDSM section though, see if i can pick up a few ideas, am still a bit new to this all!
candycane_girl
Hi ladies. I was just wondering, have any of you ever been having sex with your g-spot getting stimulated (for me it's basically my bf's penis hitting the spot over and over again) and while it feels pleasurable at first suddenly it turns into horrible pain? Seriously, it's like it goes from "ohh yeah" to "ouch, ouch, stop!" in two seconds. Has anyone else ever experienced this?
edie52
CCG, I've had that, but I always thought it was my cervix being hit. Do you think it's that?
roseviolet
Sounds like the cervix to me, too. When that happens to me, we just have to ease off & slow down for a bit. After a few minutes we can increase the intensity. At lest, that's usually the way it is. There was a time when it was a consistent problem, but my endometriosis was giving me a lot of trouble during that time, too, and I'm pretty sure it was all related.
candycane_girl
Hmmm. I thought it was my g-spot because it feels so good. Then again, maybe he's only hitting it when we're doing it doggie style and all the other times it's been my cervix. I am so bad with anatomy. I think I just get frustrated because it goes from pleasure to pain so quickly and then I say "ouch, stop!!" and he freaks out and thinks that he has injured me.
edie52
He probably IS hitting your g-spot, but on the really deep thrusts bumps your cervix, too. Or you could be getting pleasure from cervical stimulation (up until it hurts, that is)- I've heard that some women get off on that.
candycane_girl
I seriously do not know how to distinguish between the two. Not during sex anyway. It's fine when he's using fingers and I can...feel him moving around in there but during sex it's faster and there's less control over direction.
angie_21
I don't have a clue either! It happens to me too though. Being on the pill makes it worse, by the way, because your cervix stays lower in your vaginal canal all month since you're not ovulating.
crinoline
ccg- I get that too, it'll be really really good and then all of a sudden ouchies! It really pisses off the boy, too. He gets all "make up your mind!" on me. No idea how to avoid it, though...
JessieLaFemme
I feel like I always have to initiate sex w my boyfriend...any suggestions to get him to start the ball rolling? Our sex life is awesome but sometimes it's nice to have him take control, you know?
flanker_ji
Jessie, I encountered the same issue for the first time with my current boyfriend. I just told him one night after we hadn't been intimate for a while that I wasn't sure how high his interest in sex was. He replied that he's totally interested! I told him it didn't feel good to be the one always initating, and could he please show/tell me when he wants to get it started. He said he was trying to be a gentleman, and I said please stop, then! I think fear of rejection played a part too (and I'm always ready to go, so he wasn't looking at his current situation, and focusing too much on his past experiences, I think). Things have gone well since then!
JessieLaFemme
Thanks for the advice! I'm going to talk to him...for a while there I was worried I was just overly-horny haha.
angie_21
lol, no usually the guy is just being nice when he's waiting for you to initiate things. I love this story, about a couple I know... after the first few times, when he was being too gentlemanly, she said to him "I love you, and I love having sex with you, so whenever you need to, please feel free to use me for my body any time!"
Soonia
Hi all,

I'm a newbie here; i hope you all won't mind sharing some wisdom...I'm having a sex crisis, which is fast becoming a relationship/life crisis.

I've been with my boy for almost a year now. He's a great guy, we had amazing sex in the beginning. Now we *barely* have sex l because I have practically no sex drive at all. For the last six months, we have dwindled to maybe once a month.

There has been one exception: once this week we had Great, comfortable, awesome, dirty, old-times sex, (and I can't for the life of me figure out what was different about that night). The very next day his identical advances did nothing for me.

i've tried, in the past, to 'go with the flow', to see if I couldn't relax and get into it with some time and foreplay. Inevitably, I don't, and just get resentful and grouchy, counting the moments til he's done. He says he feels like he's molesting me, and i feel molested.

the usual suspects have occurred to me:
i don't think it's depression. I have been on antidepressants for years now, and am well-familiar with the loss of libido associated with them, but this doesn't feel the same. I don't feel depressed in the rest of my life--- i can be having a great day, come home and be overwhelmed with feelings of love for my man, and still not have any desire to fuck him.

I also don't think it's just sexual incompatibility, or the manifestation of a bad relationship. I'm not horny AT ALL. I dont' masturbate at all any more (used to be a daily occurrence). I don't fantasize about other boys at all. I just. feel. nothing.

i feel like I've lost a really important, integral part of myself and I don't know why or how to get it back.

Sorry for such a long, involved inaugural post. I am at my wit's end.

culturehandy
Hmm. Well, I would have automatically jumped to the conclusion of the meds. Are you on a new medication? What are things in the rest of your life like? Is there anything else brewing?
Soonia
yeah, I thought of meds immediately as well, but they've been constant since before we were together.

i guess, in the interest of full disclosure, and because he's called me on it, I should say that I've been sleeping a lot lately; sleeping in, and naps after work some days. But I've been dealing with myself and my head for years now, and i don't feel depressed; I feel tired and quiet. I think being out of shape and the 100degree+ heatwave we've had in the last week have more to do with my lethargy than does depression.

Otherwise, I think that things are relatively good: between the two of us, and for each of us individually. Not perfect, we have our foibles, and we're still learning about each other and learning to live with each other. But there's a strong foundation. In the short time we've been together we've dealt with the death of family members, unexpectedly living on one income. A lot, particularly considering how adverse we both are to drama. We came through ok, and now, finally as outside forces are calming down ( I love my house, my friends, my job is, well, boring... but stable) this internal shit is coming to a head.
Persiflager
Low testosterone levels? I've seen some research articles linking this to tiredness and reduced libido in women (though I've also seen plenty of dodgy ads using this to flog libido-boosting quack medicine).
jacobg11
ok so i know this is a girl forum but my girlfriend asked me to check on some stuff for her. Earlier at about 8 pm she took the plan b pill. its been about two hours and she hasnt felt any effects? we would like to know if this is normal or if anything is wrong? please any help would be great as soon as possible so that i can know if i need to tell her he might need to get more. thanks

-jacob
auralpoison
You might want to look some place like here for information. There are many sites that have the information you are seeking, I typed "plan b side effects" into Google & was afforded a wealth of information.
jacobg11
thanks for your help. i reeeeeeally appreciate it
auralpoison
No problem, man. A gal has got to be aware of how things like Plan B could possibly effect her lady parts. Some gals have symptoms, some don't. Normal is what's normal for her, so she needs to make sure that she does speak with her healthcare provider or somebody at a place like Planned Parenthood or a woman's clinic.
angie_21
hi jacob, I took it once with no side effects at all. other than having to cancel drinks with my friends that night just to be on the safe side. when I took, it, I had to talk to a pharmacist and then sign a paper stating I knew all the risks. I didn't like having to sign a paper, I felt it kind of invaded my personal privacy, but its better than risking pharmacies giving out the pill to girls who don't realise it's unhealthy to use it often.
auralpoison
*bump*
kikistatt
Soonia,

could it hormonal birth control?

That does it for me. I got a diaphragm just before my wedding so that I would actually want to have sex on my wedding night and honeymoon.

So far, so good. I want to have sex and I haven't gotten preg! What more could a girl want?

Emmy E
That hurts. Lick me, suck me, fuck me but stop bitting me.
mollychan
hello ladies,

i am a frequent lurker and not-so-frequent poster, but i appreciate the advice you all dish out. i had some painful problems and found this old post from candycane which sounds similar:

QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Jun 24 2009, 11:32 PM) *
Hi ladies. I was just wondering, have any of you ever been having sex with your g-spot getting stimulated (for me it's basically my bf's penis hitting the spot over and over again) and while it feels pleasurable at first suddenly it turns into horrible pain? Seriously, it's like it goes from "ohh yeah" to "ouch, ouch, stop!" in two seconds. Has anyone else ever experienced this?


in my case though, it never really felt good, just instant pain and cramping, but it did feel like he was hitting something pretty deep. this was my first time with a new guy and i suspect that it's because his penis is bigger than i'm used to (yay?). i'd like to sleep with him again, but i'm not sure how to approach the situation without making him feel bad or getting myself so tense that i lose all my drive (which is what happened before). is it just a matter of going slower?

i did also make an appointment for a pelvic exam just to make sure there's nothing bad going on down there, but they can't get me in for about a month. sad.gif what to do??
flanker_ji
Hey molly,

Good on you for getting yourself that pelvic exam scheduled - in the meantime, I'd suggest focusing more on extending foreplay that will get you really aroused, slowing down, and getting on top so you control the speed and depth of penetration. Good luck!
angie_21
Hi molly, when I'm stressed out I have a similar problem. It has nothing to do with my guy's size, since that doesn't change, it's just me being tense. Flanker's right, give yourself lots of time to become fully aroused. Even if you're starting to get wet, your body isn't quite all the way there yet, it takes a few minutes after that for the vagina to fully relax and stretch to make room for your guy. Another thing I can recommend is to stick to girl on top and guy on top positions for a little while, nothing from behind since that's guaranteed to cause some cervix bumping. Flanker's suggestion about being on top for more control is good, but I always find guy-on-top to be the easiest position for this problem, mostly because of the angle.

Also if you just let him know ahead of time that you may ask him to slow down, then you will feel a lot less stressed out about it, and less likely to tense up. I'm sure he won't be too hurt by being told he's just a little too big wink.gif
mollychan
thanks flanker and angie! yeah, i think a lot of the problem is that we were rushing in our excitement and i was probably a little nervous since it was my first time with him. next time i'll be sure we slooooowww it down and have some more patience. also, i had barely any lube left so using more of that will probably help too.
kittenb
bump.
snow white
since this thread needs alittle action i guess i won't feel bad about posting this. my man and i haven't had sex in about 3 weeks and i feel like we haven't had good sex in 4 or 5 weeks. i've put the breaks on bc i've been having problems down there (i have a cyst that gives me problems in the vaginal area and sex really hurts when it's acting up, total bummer) and i just got really sick and tired of worrying about SEX and if it will hurt this time or not. luckily, C (my man) is really cool about things and always says the right thing when i'm feeling like a crappy g/f, b/c, come on, it gives u a complex...

anyway, i used to sex him up with a great bj or something, just so our sex life wouldn't totally dry up & blow away but lately i'm not even interested. it's like i couldn't care less about sex. i've been having sex dreams tho (which is rare) and they seem like that's all i need. like i don't need the real thing. We do "mutual masterbation" to get around this no sex thing but i don't care about it. i kinda feel like i've equated sex with embarrassing pain and alot of worry, so i don't even like it anymore... i feel really bad about it, but i just don't feel like having sex. i feel like there's always too much on my mind to get all hot and bothered and i'm afraid i'm neglecting C.

plus i'm always alot more interested in sex when i go out and have a good time and we both come home with a buzz on, but i haven't been enjoying myself when i go out. i feel like there's just too much in my head. i made a doctors appointment to have this thing checked out (the dr has seen me about it b4) and hopefully i can have a surgery to remove it. i don't know. i just wish i could be having crazy sex right now and instead i'm totally fine with the fact that im not. in fact i seem to prefer it.
snow white
well, this thread is about as exciting as my sex life. anyway, i hope i feel better after seeing the dr, i have an appointment later this week. having a health problem messing w/ ur sexuality really sucks sad.gif
starpiste
Nothing but sympathy here. I'm struggling with a similar lack of interest but no health problems, just mental ones. Good luck with the doctor!
twelve_percent
So, I had this boyfriend. . .

I asked him if I could stick my finger up his butt. He said yes. I wiggled it around and it was glorious. I liked seeing him confused about how to feel. I was giving him head at the same time and he looked uncomfortable yet in rapture. Does this make me a sadist? I like to see men feel uncomfortable.

Also, I've been telling this story to other people. Is that wrong?
niki
Can I chime in here?

QUOTE(twelve_percent @ Dec 2 2009, 07:38 AM) *
So, I had this boyfriend. . .

I asked him if I could stick my finger up his butt. He said yes. I wiggled it around and it was glorious. I liked seeing him confused about how to feel. I was giving him head at the same time and he looked uncomfortable yet in rapture. Does this make me a sadist? I like to see men feel uncomfortable.


Hmmm.... I think he is (or was?) a very lucky boy. I love stuff that rattles gender categories, or in any small way gets people to questio their own sexuality and assumptions about gender roles.

And what's wrong with being a sadist? You did ask him. Uncomfortable is fine. People don't grow when they're too comfortable, first, and second, my experience is that sex is at its hottest when comfort zones get seriously challenged.

QUOTE(twelve_percent @ Dec 2 2009, 07:38 AM) *
Also, I've been telling this story to other people. Is that wrong?


I don't really think so. Of course it depends on who you're tellign it to, and whether you're naming names. If no names, no big deal. If names, well then don't tell hs mother. WHo else you tell depends on your and his relationship to that person.

2 cents
stargazer
Hi, niki and welcome to the lounge! It looks like you've posted around without properly introducing yourself in the Newbie Thread. Please introduce yourself in this thread before further posting so others will not think you are a troll.
auralpoison
The hetero wimmins & the gay mens can now buy ass in Nevada legally!
Lalumiere
hi. I lurk here a lot and now am finally posting my own little problem.. that I need some help with!
so I've been seeing my guy for a little over a year now, and we've been having trouble. before this guy I was a virgin, and every time we've tried to have sex (like, intercourse) I've had severe pain! I know its normal to have some pain the first time but I mean, this is every time! its kind of a deep pain, like he's bangin on my cervix... and also some really sharp searing pain at the opening of my vagina. we've tried using lots o' lube but that doesnt really seem to help. the sharp pain also lasts afterwards, like a day or so. kinda feels like its tearing or something(its not, it just feels that way) anyway I dont know if its cause hes too big or if I just have a very shallow vagina or what.
my SECOND problem (jeez) is that I dont really respond to any sort of sexual stimulation. I guess I got lucky and have a boy who just loooves to go down on me, but I really dont feel anything pleasant and I just end up getting annoyed. some very gentle clitoral stimulation feels good but never enough for me to reach orgasm. I've never really had an orgasm with him... and the only way I seem to be able to have one by myself is with old faithful - the shower head/bath faucet.

anyway any advice would be really greatly super appreciated. we're getting super frustrated over this and its quite a problem.

ps - I am on effexor for anxiety/depression.. I heard that some SSRI's can have sexual side effects... any advice on this either?
angie_21
snow white, hun, how are things going? any updates? A similar thing happened to me last year and it really sucked. I still don't know how much was psychological or not, but it was the same thing, trying to keep our sex life going but thinking about it all the time only made it harder to feel sexy at all. But we are pretty much fully recovered. I say "we" because it really took the two of us together to bring the intimacy back, me being brave and him being patient and very loving and also very good at the things he does smile.gif My best advice to you is to remember to keep the relaitonship intimacy going - spending lots of time snuggling, talking, and "flirting" helps you feel close and makes sex seem less of a big, scary problem. And it also kind of revs your body up a little bit so you feel sexier to begin with.

Lalumiere, I've heard that about SSRIs. A lot of medications seem to affect sex drive. I wouldn't want to give advice on that, deciding to go on or off medication is your personal choice based on how you feel it works for you, or maybe also with the advice of a doctor who has more experience with the medication, it's side effects, and other options. But if you were a virgin and don't have a baseline to judge how your body "normally" resonds without medication, it's hard to say. How long did you go out before having sex, and how many times have you tried since? I remember my first time hurting quite a lot, and the guy wasn't even very big! The sharp searing pain at the opening sounds a lot like muscle tension - you are associateing having sex with being in pain, and your body is reflexively tensing up. It's too bad that oral isn't working for you, but, well, remember, just because a guy likes to do it, doesn't mean he's very good at it. And even if he is, every girl has her own buttons that need to be pushed the right way, and it's hard for guys to judge those buttons from down there. I often find it difficult to enjoy recieving oral if I'm not already revved up to begin with, you probably just need to try other kinds of foreplay. Try to incorporate things that you know work for you, especially things that don't actually involve intercourse. Also, work on getting there by yourself, and find out more of what works for you. You need to get your body to associate sexual activities with your guy as being fun, not painful.
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