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hellotampon
All cock rings do is make things feel a little more intense for the guy. We have one and my boyfriend says it just makes him feel like someone is "gently cupping his balls." ha. They're nice, but not too much of a big deal. The condom thing doesn't matter because the ring usually goes behind the guy's balls where the condom doesn't reach anyway.

I wanted to talk about threesomes and group sex too! My boyfriend and I have been entertaining the idea for a long time, mostly just because it's fun to talk about. If it didn't happen we wouldn't care that much but if it did, we think it would be fun, provided that we remember it's just sex.

Anyway, we decided if we did anything like that we'd have a threesome with one girl and another with one guy, just to make everything fair. We asked one girl and she said she was into it but then right after that she started dating someone else from our social circle so we figured that wasn't going to happen anymore. But now they both want to do it, but we're not interested in the guy so we keep avoiding the subject and fending off their advances and I think they're starting to get offended. I can understand why, but at the same time, when we asked her we never said anything about including any future boyfriends.

Now another couple wants to do it with us. And they're our first choice so we told them that we'll see what happens. But we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Plus 3 or 4 other people have expressed interest- it's as if we put an ad out in the paper or something (it's really just coincidence)!

So what is the etiquette for this sort of thing? I feel like no matter what, we are going to end up offending someone.
stephanie_erin
thanks for the responses.
:-D
good luck with the threesome fiasco.
that's quite a spot.
i wish i could help..
but i don't think i have any options that you haven't already explored..
girltrouble
cock rings actually do a bit more that just feel good. it constricts the blood flow into the penis and keeps it there resulting in a longer (time wise) erection, and a more intense orgasm.

there are little rubber ones. i perfer them. they're more snug. but it's a personal choice. size is important, if it's too loose, you're not doing anything. if it's too tight it hurts.


as for threesomes. i would recommend going out for drinks without the guy. tell him you really don't want to, you've had bad experiences with couples, but his wife seems nice. that way you can get the skinny from her without any repercussions for her if you decide against.

i would always say if it is a 3some or poly thingy, communication with all partners is a MUST. don't be afraid to ask to talk to partners. even if they aren't participating. if he says he's in a open relationship, his wife/gf whatever should be open to confirming it. if she "just doesn't want to know about it." he's probably not telling you the whole story.
dayglowpink
I just realized we do not have the portions thread anymore? What happened with that? This seems to be the best other place to post my funny story. Just had some portions with my buddy, and he had his fingers in my mouth while I was coming. Evidently I bit down so hard that he had to pry my mouth open with his other hand, because he was afraid I would break the skin. I have no recollection of this. I keep laughing thinking about it.
auralpoison
Portions is gone & so is the Locker Room. Sometimes you just gotta tell people stuff, but you don't need to be sharing with your immediates. We oughtta bring 'em back.

And I agree with Girltrouble. Cockrings are made out of a variety of material (Leather, metal, rubber, velcro, etc.) in a variety of styles, so you often have to work a little but to find the right one for you & your partner. To work properly it should be snug, but not painfully so. Didn't Durex or somebody start selling vibrating cockrings with some of their condoms?
erinjane
I forgot about locker room. Those should definatly come back.
sassy
I just got a vibrating cock ring last week for my fiance and it is amazing!!!!!! First time I was able to come while we were actually having sex since the vibrations hit my clit. Ahhh smile.gif
LoveMyPugs
There isn't a LUBE thread as far as I know so I guess I'll post this question in here.

I'm currently using ID Glide. It's great but it's runny and in my opinion gets sticky too quickly. I'm looking to switch brands.

I'd like a lube that
is thicker and stays in place
stays slippery for long periods
can be used with condoms
washes off easily
is good for both vaginal and anal

I was considering MAXIMUS GEL that I read about on Good Vibrations and I emailed them the same questions but I'd like some advice from Bust members as well.

Please help!!
erinjane
Are you able to go to a women's friendly sex shop? Often they'll let you test out the lubes on your arm and see how you feel to help you find one that's right for you. I was recently at a sex toy party that did this, but I didn't really pay attention to lube brands because I don't generally use it.
auralpoison
Have you tried Toys in Babeland's Babelube? Thick, slick, & does the trick.
sassy
I like the WET lubes. I got one that is more like a gel and it stays wet for a long time, can be used with condoms, and it doesn't get sticky like some lubes do.
lucizoe
I have a big old pump bottle of Maximus on the bedside table. Water-based, so yes, it will get sticky after a while, but it stays slick far longer than any other water-based lube I've tried and a-ok for condoms. I'd like to try the silicone lubes but unfortunately my ladies' panty parts are insanely pH sensitive. And yes, I know how immature that sounded wink.gif.

Seconding the advice to find a shop that lets you test them.
tesao
i've used the WET products and have liked them.

i prefer silicone gels but they can't be used with silicone toys, which i also prefer over plastic.

at the moment, i have OMY for vaginal lube and Slippery Stuff Gel for anal.

Slippery Stuff is also water based, but i haven' t had it go all sticky. it works for both anal and vaginal (although i don't have anywhere NEAR as much experience with it vaginally, because usually i am dripping all by myself and NLR (no lube required)), is water soluble, odorless, fairly tasteless, and doesn't stain. it stays PUT. does not run. keeps me wet throughout foreplay and into finishing with anal sex. i really like the way that it feels.

good vibes used to have a sampler pack, so that you could try a number of the lubes at one go. if they don't at the moment, check around, i would bet someone else does. or ask them. they have always been really responsive to my questions/requests!

not only is the PORTIONS thread gone, so are the locker room, dirty talk and the one handed read threads.

it would be great if any one started those (or any other) threads up again!
girltrouble
i prefer eros lubes. the gel is thick, and the regular isn't too tacky. i hate tacky lubes. another lube that i'd recommend is "gun oil" it's pretty big among the gay boys. good stuff. very good. water and oil based. actually, i pretty much stick with gun oil now days. lots of viscosity. a good way to try out lubes is to go to a gay pride parade, usually they end up in a park where they are handing out info from non-profits, and....LUBE SAMPLES!

speaking of which, if anyone does do non-profit harm reduction for the gay community, i would recommend talking to the gun oil people. they are very generous giving out their products to non profits. they rock....

there is also a "horse" lube(used for delivering foals), which is great and cheap, but the thing is it comes in powder form so you have to mix it yourself, but it's great, especially if you are into "handballing" cos you can make lots and lots of it, which is good with that kind of play. i can't remember the name but if someone is interested i can look it up...
LoveMyPugs
Is anyone into any BDSM? I’m mostly curious about DS. I am very into this and read about it constantly online. I have expressed to my man that this is what I like. He says he is absolutely down with it. We’ve been playing our roles him dominant and me submissive over the last couple months but I want more from him. We mostly play our roles in the bedroom but I’m talking about a lifestyle change. I think he wants me to give him ideas but that takes all the fun out of it in my mind. I want him to be creative and completely control me (getting excited just typing this). I emailed him a picture of a collar I want him to buy for me (cause just thinking about him putting a collar on me makes me want to cum). He said ok but I sensed that he thinks that’s a bit much. I asked him if he thinks that a collar is going too far and he said not at all. He wants me to laugh.gif “let my freak flag fly”. We went through such a long period where I didn’t want sex cause I didn’t know what I wanted. sad.gif Now I know and he doesn’t seem to understand the extent that I want to take this. How do I get him to understand that he can open up a whole new world of sexual delight if he’d just step up to the plate?

unsure.gif Also, am I breaking some kind of feminist rule by wanting to be in a submissive lifestyle? I know my man respects me but sometimes after a very long night of being dominated in the sack I feel like I’m betraying the part of me that is a strong woman even though I love it so much. This is what I want and love so I know I don’t need someone else’s validation to do it. I guess I just want to know I’m not the only one out there that really enjoys this.

Any suggestions or criticisms?? ANYTHING PLEASE!!!
tesao
pssssst! love my pugs!

check out the thread i just bumped for you!!! try posting in there......we are out here, we just don't like chatting to ourselves much. bdsm is really better with at least one other person! rolleyes.gif
girltrouble
oooooooo! a bdsm thread while i've been gone?!? yippie!

as for you wanting to explore your sub side, i think that's super cool, feminism to me is about freedom to choose what makes you happiest as a woman if that means shaving your legs, growing armpit hair, or exploring your sub side, the point is you know the choice best for you.

i know that you want your bf to figure out what you want, you want him to be creative, but that is an awful lot of work. domming is a lot of responsibility... if you want to be a good one. i would recommend anything by mistress midori-- she's my idol, she soooo kicks ass, but i would also recommend going on bondage.com and going thru the checklists that they have on their profiles. they are very detailed, and he can get a grip on what you are into, what youre not, and what you are curious about....

....the fora (forums) there can be good for ideas, but take them with a MASSIVE grain of salt, listen to people that have earned respect, ignore the rest, and ALWAYS do your own research.....
erinjane
I would bet he's shy about saying things. I've been with guys like that and it can be kind of frusturating because I find it a huge turn on for someone to tell me how hot I am or how good I feel. I don't think you should 'get over it', but tell him you'd like him to be more vocal. Just let him know that it turns you on, or makes you feel really good if he vocalizes his pleasure and what he likes you to do. You can make it part of foreplay, tell him what you like and ask him what he likes or how things feel, etc.

I'm better that he wouldn't be making stuff up to make you happy, but he just feels awkward or shy about vocalizing. In the times where I've been craving that I found that bringing it up in the ways I suggested worked very well.
girltrouble
i'd agree. why get over it? who doesn't like to hear that they are sexy? not me, i eat it up with a spoon! there is no shame in that, and it doesn't sound like he is tossing bon motts your way at all, so it's not like you are needy.

my advise is, next time you guys are going at it, whisper in his hear that you want to hear him talk about your body as he touches different parts. say it just turns you on. it sounds like he likes to please you, so he'll be game. then encourage him as he does. tell him how much you like what he's saying. react physically. moan a bit. move your hips. touch him lightly, smile. growl or purr. soon he will think he's shakespere, then-- when you aren't going at it, like just watching tv or driving tell him how much you love hearing his voice talk about your body. even when you're not having sex. react physically. smile, wiggle your butt, wink. touch him in a flirty manner. guys are like dogs in this way. tell them what you want, give them positive response/reward/praise and then reinforce....take it from an ex-dude. *wink*
pepper
next time he's going on about hill furrows or what-not let him know how much you'd love to hear him talk to you like that when you're in bed.
maddy29
hey, i agree with the suggestions. definitely let him know that you want to hear him, and also that you want feedback. i mean, it just makes sense to give feedback, because how else are you gonna know what he likes?

my boy and i were just talking the other day, about the first time i "talked dirty" to him. he was saying how amazing it was, and i mean, i probably was just like "oh yeah fuck me hard" or something-nothing inventive-but for him it was like yes!!!!! and then that encouraged him to be more comfortable saying stuff. then, like girltrouble said, i'd tell him to talk to me, or tell him how hot that was, or whatever.

he does better now, but i realized that most of the time he's just so into it, that thinkign of things tosay is kinda difficult smile.gif so i ask for feedback later, like that night at dinner, or whatever.

also, yeah, i need him to validate his physical attraction to me to, it's annoying that i feel like that, but whatever. last week he actually asked me if i thought HE was fat, it was sooo cute, i was laughing so hard. but yeah, i need to hear how awesome my boobs look in my shirt, or how much he wants me, or whatever.

i hope this makes sense, i'm a little stoned. also thinking about the amaaazing sex i had last night. yum. mmm.
dayglowpink
Also try asking him questions. I like to do this, say stuff like "what does my pussy feel like?" or "do you like the way I taste?", etc. This might provide him with some encouragement. I sort of understand the other side, though, because although I LOVE to hear from my guy, I can be a little shy about saying stuff to him at times. My one FWB always jokes on me, because he asks me how it feels, and I say "it feels good" in this little voice. Sometimes I am so focused on the physical sensation that it is hard to come up with different or interesting stuff to say.
maddy29
lol! "it feels good" that's exactly what my boyfriend says! it's just way too hard for him to think of something to say, so i don't expect it. hee hee.
girltrouble
yeah, lol... i have that problem too, and as dorky as it sounds i used to have a notebook of stuff i thought sounded hot, but right now i am interested in sounds. i know, kinda bizarre, but i used to be super quiet in bed, but cos of w-o-r-k i needed to expand my repetoir, so i began to play with ooohs, ahs, mmms and my current fave iiiii... but then the thing that makes me happiest is whispering those sounds in someone's ear....sigh... you busties keep me in head, and damnit, i'm not dating anyone! it's not fair!
erinjane
Let us know how it goes. Or maybe you'll be heading to the "oh the things they say" thread next. wink.gif
maddy29
awww, that's so sweet! i was thinking it was something like that-just feeling shy about it. good job for talking to him about it (lol about the bridge).
maddy29
random thing i've been noticing about sex: people get really excited about doing stuff they "aren't supposed to do." stuff that's taboo. i hate that. getting off on "being a bad girl" or whatever, i think is kinda bs. because it's just rebellion, not real sexual expression. like people who like anal sex cause it's taboo, or whatever.

this probably makes no sense, but maybe later i can explain better wink.gif what do y'all think?
LoveMyPugs
Maddy,

I truly believe, myself included, that there are many women and men out there that have never been exposed to certain sexual acts and that once they hear, see or read about them they realize that that is something they have desired deep down inside for years and just never had it explained to them.

For example, I always knew that I enjoyed rough sex. I always knew I liked to be submissive. I always knew I like to be spanked. I wanted all these things but wasn’t sure how much or how often. I just felt confused and never fully satisfied for years and years. I had no one to talk to about these feelings and desires. This confusion can be really dangerous for a young experimental girl. Even when I grew up and had Mr. Pugs to talk to I never knew how to put it into words to explain to him. When I discovered BDSM there were some things I liked and a lot I didn’t like. But, had I not tried it I might have missed out. When someone recommended I check out a Taken In Hand relationship I openly researched the topic. Believe it or not, there were many things on that website that seemed like answers to my prayers. But, like BDSM there are some things about a Taken In Hand relationship that I don’t like either.

I’m not saying that there aren’t some people who do something because they think it’s the thing right now. There are always followers and those who rebel but I do think that some people out there are looking for something that they fit into so they try everything in an effort to find their place.

When I hear, read or see something new to me, I read about it, talk to others about it and then if I still want to I try it. I’ve found many things I like by experimenting like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve found many things I dislike too. I didn’t get a tongue ring or a tattoo to rebel, although my mother likes to think that, I got them because I wanted to.

I guess to summarize my point. I feel that many people would like to sexually express themselves but just don’t know exactly what they like so they try everything, making them seem like they are down with everything or just rebelling, but really they are just trying to find their own means of expression but trying everything to see what they like and dislike.
maddy29
hmm, i guess i meant more like breaking taboos, rather than doing something because it's trendy.....

but maybe, breaking taboos tends to become trendy?

i'll have to think about this more, because i don't think i can really express what i'm trying to...

something about-why is it "hotter" to do something you aren't supposed to? like sex in public, or the whole "you are a bad girl! you dirty slut!".

gah. just ignore me smile.gif
p_176
maddy....i sorta see where you are trying to go...i think sometimes, since sex is so private and done behind closed doors, sometimes folks wonder if other people are doing the same things in their bedrooms....and the whole sub/dom thing - it's about a level of trust that you are going to either submit to your SO or dominate them - and each person knows it won't go over whatever boundaries you have decided upon as a couple. plus, it's not conventional missionary sex, so it enables the people to activate different sensations in the body and mind. the breaking of taboos really comes in if you are analyzing the history of sex...IMO
dayglowpink
maddy, I think I see what you are saying. Is your question something like why do we get turned on by feeling like we are doing something wrong? I'm not sure. I don't think it is necessarily bad. I get turned on by sex that is more dirty or kinky, but I don't really feel that it's bad, it's just hot to me, because I think it's hot to not have limits on what I can do with someone else. And I like being called a slut or a bad girl, but I'm not exactly sure why. I guess I'm not articulating it too well, either!
culturehandy
I think I see what you are saying Maddy. People will say they enjoy something,not because they like, but because it is considered deviant behaviour, something outside the mainstream.

I like doing things, because they make me feel good. I don't like threesomes or exhibitionism because it is outside the main stream. I like it because it makes me feel good.

Dayglow I also like being called a slut and a whore, makes rough, raunchy sex even hotter.
Phantom
I was kind of wondering...what's the deal with the strap-on? I get the impression that this is relatively popular thing, yet it also seems prevalent to find a "woman" (I use the term loosely) with a penis deeply disturbing. So why would anyone want to use a device to create the illusion of such a person? To fit it to your discussion, does it turn some people on because it's just so WRONG, or is there some other fascination with it?
pepper
well that's a funny sort of question isn't it? a women with a penis generally has it to do a job with that she can't do on her own yes? i have used mine to penetrate my partner. while it was fun to be a chic with a dick for a minute it's ultimate purpose was for fucking. i didn't and don't find it "wrong" at all.
dayglowpink
Has anyone used female condoms much? I have never tried them, but this new guy that I am hooking up with has a hard time with regular condoms, because it feels too tight around his dick, and he loses his erection. I thought maybe female condoms would be better. Just wanted to get some reviews.
Phantom
QUOTE(pepper @ Jan 21 2007, 04:21 PM) *

well that's a funny sort of question isn't it? a women with a penis generally has it to do a job with that she can't do on her own yes? i have used mine to penetrate my partner. while it was fun to be a chic with a dick for a minute it's ultimate purpose was for fucking. i didn't and don't find it "wrong" at all.

I know that my question seems odd coming out of the blue, but it was triggered when I noticed "Strap-on Sally 11" (along wth some mainstream non-pornographic films) in the movie collection of of someone I know, and I wanted to understand what the attraction could be. Strap-on Sallys 1 through 10 left too many unanswered questions?

To answer my own question, since all the pictures on the box were just women using the strap-on on each other, I guess it was a way to have sex in the movie without the need for men. I just don't want to think that someone I know is into shemales or something. I guess that's O.K. for strangers but...ugh...creepy.
pepper
"I just don't want to think that someone I know is into shemales or something. I guess that's O.K. for strangers but...ugh...creepy."

uh...oookkayy.

i could turn that around and say "i just don't want to think that someone i know is prejudiced against *(shemales and the people who are into them)* or something. i guess that's ok for strangers but...ugh...creepy."
*(insert any group of people here)*

can you see how that sort of intolerance might not be ok?
princess evangeline
(a.k.a voodoo princess)

Freedom of Speech - protected by the First Amendment
Freedom of Opinion - your right as a Human Being
Freedom to "Voice Her Opinion that Everyone elses Opinion is Wrong" - "freedom" according to "PEPPER"

phantom - if you think "shemales" are creepy, then so be it. If you think that someones attraction to "shemales" is creepy, so be it. Do you go around attacking shemales? Do you go around attacking people attracted to shemales? I'm guessing you don't. I'm guessing that this is something that you are either not very familiar with that seems "creepy" to you or something that you are very familiar with and it still seems "creepy" to you. Maybe you aren't into "chicks with dicks" be it a real one or a strap-on one....... and that's perfectly ok. And it's also ok for you to say so. And if you think it's gross, that's ok to say too. It's your right, just like it's anyone elses right to express an opinion contrary to yours without attacking you or telling you that you're wrong. I think that any person who is truely secure and happy with who they are and what they do, will not be bothered in the least by another person's opinion of them or their habits.
ATTACKING someone for what they are or what they like is not cool BUT EXPRESSING your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about someone, something or certain habits is OK. Just because everyone doesn't agree doesn't make any one person MORE or LESS right. What i call GREAT you may call GROSS, so what? It won't make me think it (whatever it is) any less great than before you expressed your opinion, and then i'd know that it's not your thing. But i certainly would not ridicule you for having an opinion contrary to mine.
My ex was into "shemale" porn and i find it utterly disgusting. And that's my right. And it's my right to say so. It doesn't mean i am intolerant or that i would ever do any harm to anyone who was / or enjoyed "shemales". It just means i find it disgusting and it's not my thing. End of story. Big deal.

The one thing i have to agree (using the term loosley, very loosely) with "pepper" about is the intolerance she mentioned. That's something that works both ways though, so can you (also) see how her intolerance of other people voiceing their opinion, might not be ok?

And, "pepper", all i have to say to you is Go put your Big Girl panties on, and deal with it! Alot of us are sick of the self righteous, "holier-than-thou BS.

tesao
day glow pink: i've used female condoms quite a bit (it's a long story; i was doing some acceptability studies as well as reuse studies on them).

that means that my partner, mr hotbuns, also used them (we had to fill out questionnaires afterwards)

short story short: they are larger than the male condom, so they shouldn't be too tight on your boy. if they are, he has the largest circumference penis that i have EVER heard of. they aren't made of plastic, rather a material that absorbs heat and therefore will be the same temp as your vagina. they cover both your vagina AND the outside lips. that means that there is some of the female condom OUTSIDE of your body.

it can be a bit difficult to put in, especially if you've never explored your vagina with your fingers before. about a third to a half stays outside of you and the guy's penis pushes it the rest of the way in. so he sort of has to see it, and i've got to say, it isn't attractive.

that said, i VASTLY preferred it to the male condom. when he came, i could still feel that about to happen and could feel the pulses as he did. i can't feel that with a male condom. i also don't get to experience the feel and taste of the ejaculate, which i like a lot.

HE, on the other hand, couldn't stand it. it makes noise. like a grocery bag. and he said that he just couldn't get past the fact that it made him think he was making love to a trashcan with a liner.

soooooooooo. there is my two cents. they ARE expensive, and as of now the recommendation is still to not reuse them. give them a try, it can't hurt!
pepper
having a bad day there princess? that's ok, happens to the best of us.
kickitkickitkickit
QUOTE(Phantom @ Jan 21 2007, 04:10 PM) *

I was kind of wondering...what's the deal with the strap-on? I get the impression that this is relatively popular thing, yet it also seems prevalent to find a "woman" (I use the term loosely) with a penis deeply disturbing. So why would anyone want to use a device to create the illusion of such a person? To fit it to your discussion, does it turn some people on because it's just so WRONG, or is there some other fascination with it?


My boyfriend enjoys a bit of anal stimulation when we're engaging in foreplay. We've discussed having a strap on for even more anal play as we use plugs and beads now. He used to think it would be too weird, but now he really likes the idea of it. I don't think it's "wrong" especially since he seems to enjoy what I already do to him and I personally would be turned on by using it on him. I am a bit fascinated with getting a strap on and wearing it.

I don't know how finding a woman with a penis is disturbing whether it's fake or real. I happen to like transgendered people and crossdressers. They are daring to be what they feel like inside and that to me says alot. They do this against the odds of being persecuted, harassed, or even killed. So I don't find them weird or wrong and I do support what they choose to do because it is their choice, life, and they are entitled to do so.
pepper
hey phantom, would you mind throwing in a bit of clarification here? obviously there's a bit of difference in interpretation going on. i'm reading into your post that you are classifying a group of people as gross. not what they do but what they are. i'm having a hard time with that concept because i think people are individuals and should be judged on that rather than the catagory they fall into. if you mean something else i'd like to hear it.
as always, could we all try to keep the conversation impersonal and focus on the topic at hand? that would be great.
kickitkickitkickit
QUOTE(pepper @ Jan 22 2007, 12:03 PM) *

hey phantom, would you mind throwing in a bit of clarification here? obviously there's a bit of difference in interpretation going on. i'm reading into your post that you are classifying a group of people as gross. not what they do but what they are. i'm having a hard time with that concept because i think people are individuals and should be judged on that rather than the catagory they fall into. if you mean something else i'd like to hear it.
as always, could we all try to keep the conversation impersonal and focus on the topic at hand? that would be great.


I don't understand what you mean by saying keep the conversation impersonal and focus on the topic at hand. I've read through and it seems like many people have given their personal opinions on the various topics relating to sex and sexual related things in this thread. Could you clarify please?
erinjane
I think pepper means impersonal, as in, not insulting a particular group of people by saying they're "creepy", because that's how phantom's post came off to me; as insulting.
auralpoison
Female condoms... I felt like I had a jelly fish or something hanging out of my vagina. Not sexy. Dayglow, maybe you should hit Babeland & order their condom sampler pack & see if maybe a diff brand of condom might suit your partner better....
pepper
thanks ej, that is part of what i mean. the other part is trying to keep our cool with other posters when we don't agree with each other. that "big girl panties" thing that's being used on the board of late is cute and catchy but not particularly condusive to open dialogue. the insults and personal jabs are just distracting and can be left out altogether.
Phantom
QUOTE(pepper @ Jan 22 2007, 12:03 PM) *

hey phantom, would you mind throwing in a bit of clarification here? obviously there's a bit of difference in interpretation going on. i'm reading into your post that you are classifying a group of people as gross. not what they do but what they are. i'm having a hard time with that concept because i think people are individuals and should be judged on that rather than the catagory they fall into. if you mean something else i'd like to hear it.
as always, could we all try to keep the conversation impersonal and focus on the topic at hand? that would be great.

Let's set aside the fact that people choose to take hormones and undergo surgeries to become shemales or to be with shemales, so I am indeed talking about what they do and not what they are. I believe your question was already answered by Princess Evangaline. I hope you're not rephasing and reiterating your original point just to get the last word.
QUOTE(princess evangeline @ Jan 22 2007, 12:29 AM) *

(a.k.a voodoo princess)

Freedom of Speech - protected by the First Amendment
Freedom of Opinion - your right as a Human Being
Freedom to "Voice Her Opinion that Everyone elses Opinion is Wrong" - "freedom" according to "PEPPER"

phantom - if you think "shemales" are creepy, then so be it. If you think that someones attraction to "shemales" is creepy, so be it. Do you go around attacking shemales? Do you go around attacking people attracted to shemales? I'm guessing you don't. I'm guessing that this is something that you are either not very familiar with that seems "creepy" to you or something that you are very familiar with and it still seems "creepy" to you. Maybe you aren't into "chicks with dicks" be it a real one or a strap-on one....... and that's perfectly ok. And it's also ok for you to say so. And if you think it's gross, that's ok to say too. It's your right, just like it's anyone elses right to express an opinion contrary to yours without attacking you or telling you that you're wrong. I think that any person who is truely secure and happy with who they are and what they do, will not be bothered in the least by another person's opinion of them or their habits.
ATTACKING someone for what they are or what they like is not cool BUT EXPRESSING your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about someone, something or certain habits is OK. Just because everyone doesn't agree doesn't make any one person MORE or LESS right. What i call GREAT you may call GROSS, so what? It won't make me think it (whatever it is) any less great than before you expressed your opinion, and then i'd know that it's not your thing. But i certainly would not ridicule you for having an opinion contrary to mine.
My ex was into "shemale" porn and i find it utterly disgusting. And that's my right. And it's my right to say so. It doesn't mean i am intolerant or that i would ever do any harm to anyone who was / or enjoyed "shemales". It just means i find it disgusting and it's not my thing. End of story. Big deal.

The one thing i have to agree (using the term loosley, very loosely) with "pepper" about is the intolerance she mentioned. That's something that works both ways though, so can you (also) see how her intolerance of other people voiceing their opinion, might not be ok?

And, "pepper", all i have to say to you is Go put your Big Girl panties on, and deal with it! Alot of us are sick of the self righteous, "holier-than-thou BS.

In my own words, I know some people use hormones and surgery to change themselves into shemales and some people choose to be with shemales, and I don't wish these people any ill will. I just have my opinions on the matter, just as some people have distaste for skinny supermodels and others love them. As Princess Evangeline said, (to paraphrase) we're all entitled to our own opinions. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm through putting my two cents in on this issue. If you want to talk to me some more, you can find me in another topic.
pepper
what happened there? you answered but you didn't say anything. i was, in fact, genuinely interested in the questions i asked. it may be uncomfortable for you to look at and talk about your reasons but you did bring it up here so maybe you'd like to discuss it. don't take my difference of opinion personally, it's not a judgement, just a different view.

i'm seeing the same sort of generalization with the skinny model comment as well. how can one have a dislike for skinny models? is it the model or her condition that the issue is with? how can one dislike someone that they have no knowledge of just because of what the look like or what they do? people are entire beings, mulitfaceted. i might have issues with prostitution but with prostitutes themselves? can't really generalize there.

shemales, trannies, whichever word you use, sure, taking hormones and gender reassignment surgery are choices but that's not how the trannies that i know look at it. they feel that they were actually born into the wrong bodies and that correcting it isn't a choice at all.
now being with a shemale/tranny, yes, that is a choice, if it is something that is pursued soley because the object of desire is transexual. otherwise, people are attracted to and fall in love with other people based on who they are, regardless of that kind of thing. i don't see a problem either way though, is it a moral issue or just a yuck factor for the people who don't like it? it's not like it's my sex life. i might not want to do it myself but, unless it's hurting someone, why invest so much feeling into what someone else is doing? just asking.
dayglowpink
Thanks for the info re. female condoms. I don't think I would have any problem putting it in or anything, but I just couldn't quite get my mind around the idea, because it seemed like the guy's dick would push the whole thing inside and defeat the whole purpose. I guess I can see that if it kind of comes out much wider than the actual vagina, maybe that would keep it in place. This boy's dick is not all that big, but I guess regular condoms just don't work well for him, cut off the sensation too much, or something. We've only hooked up a couple of times, so I don't have the full scoop yet. I definitely like the idea of being able to feel more when he is coming, though. I'll have to give them a try. The garbage bag idea is not too appealing, though! We'll see.
erinjane
Can I request the word "shemales" be replaced with trans persons?
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