QUOTE(oboypie @ Feb 12 2007, 04:46 PM)
I'd love any info about the art of the hand-job...my guy loves blow jobs, but i'm afraid i'm not that skilled when it comes to using my hands...haha
thanks for all the advice!
Here's the result of your request for info. I hope it's helpful. You might want to print it out to review a time or two in the next year or so.
THE ART OF THE HAND JOB
It's not rocket science. It can be a mere two-minute jerk in the bathroom.
But it can be a splendid, polished, work of loving art that he'll remember and want you to repeat many times. You may think of it being gaged on a scale of one to ten.
The teenage boy working for a quick orgasm in the bathroom is the low end of this scale. An adult man enjoying a loving hand job in a bedroom with no fear of interruption is the high end.
The high end, of course, can vary over a range of degrees of location, preparation and the skill of his mate. This is a short review of some popular and proven possibilities.
One man said he told his late wife, “My thrill at your orgasm is second only to the joy of my own.” And she was amazed.
Let us recognize at the beginning of this discussion, that your thrill at his orgasm is second only to the joy of your own. You enjoy it whether it happens in your hand or your vagina. It's win-win every time one of you generates an orgasm for the other. Somewhere in this forum a couple of years ago, a college girl noted that “when boys learn they can make you cum they LIVE for it.
Yes, indeed. And you can recognize that same joy when you make HIM cum.
As considered here, the purpose is to achieve a higher goal, or set of goals, than the teenager in the bathroom. Among the many possibilities are these:
1.To relieve the nagging pressure for orgasm that builds up. This can be done in the car after a long session of smooching and playing. Just get it over and relieve the pressure for him. Two minutes max.
2.Mutual enjoyment of sex play as well as his orgasm. This can go on for an hour or so during which he may have brought you to orgasm once or more.
3.A major sexual pleasure that lasts in the range of ten to thirty minutes and ends in his orgasm. Here's your opportunity to produce a memorable experience for him.
It's been done in tree houses, vacant houses, unfinished houses, on roofs, on back porches, back yards and side yards.
It's been done under blankets, coats and sweaters in buses, in planes, on the fly bridge of lake cruisers and on pickup trucks traveling busy highways. And it's been done standing on the stair landing in apartment buildings and in high school at the top of the stairs to a closed second floor gym. It's been done while the guy was driving sixty miles an hour on a four-lane highway. (That's not recommended)
You name a place that's reasonably accessible and someone has done it there. Here are some suggestions for some places to enjoy a satisfactory and memorable hand job.
1. Private bedroom with controllable heat and cooling, as well as private bathroom.
2. In a secluded place on the beach
3.In the car, of course, front or back.
SOME HELPFUL INFORMATION
Think of this as an event. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. Plan and perform it with that in mind. Here some random bits of knowledge that can benefit your thinking and performance.
REMEMBER this. You're both on a hormone high. Arousal is accompanied by Endorphins flowing in your brain and by Adrenaline in your chest. In simplest terms, endorphnins cause a feeling of joy, happiness and well-being. You can't be angry, resentful or unhappy while the endorphins are flowing. Adrenaline generates a feeling of excitement.
When you're aroused you're in a state of joyful excitement . That feeling lasts as long as your clit and his erection are up and throbbing. You're happy and he's happy. The happiness lasts as long as the hormone high, and decreases gradually in the afterglow. Following a good round of lovemaking the glow can last more than twenty-four hours. decreasing gradually.
If you enjoy a lovemaking session five or six times a week your high will continue, on and on. Aunt Flo will destroy your continuing high if you let her. But that's another subject.
AND CANDLES, TOO
If you want to create a truly special event, you might want to set up three or more candles in the room. Maybe an appropriate scent or incense. Candles are an impressive addition to a lovemaking situation in a mansion or a rustic cabin by a babbling brook. Think about it.
Lube is like money; some people get along without it, but life is much better when you have plenty. The most popular recommendation for lube has always been Albolene, a cosmetic remover available in most drug stores. A very good alternative is Cold Cream. You probably have a jar in your bathroom, simplifying your preparation for joy.
HERE'S HOW. Dip up a big blob on the ends of two fingers. Hold his impatient penis still with the other hand and scrape off the blob on the head. Slow and easy, with a firm but fairly light touch, twist your hand to spread it around the head and down and around the shaft. Take your time and spread it well, giving it time to liquefy as you're twisting and sliding several times. Don't worry about his becoming impatient. It feels delicious and he loves every second of it..
In the absence of a better alternative you can use cooking oil. It's good but messy. Avoid it if you can. And probably the very bottom of the scale would be motor oil.
Lotions, in general, are poor choices because they disappear rather quickly, disrupting the action while you replenish it.
But, regardless of the differences, I emphasize that lube makes a major difference. It's necessary for a first class experience.
TRUISM: What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.
Any position you can visualize will work for him. For purely practical reasons it's a waste of good loving time to have him standing on his head, hanging from the chandelier, or lying face down bridging the gap between the the bed and a chair while you sit on the floor and make like a milkmaid. It's all possible, but a big waste of time.
Here are better ways for you both to enjoy.
1.SIDE BY SIDE. He lies on his back and turns toward you at roughly a 45-degree angle. The angle makes it more comfortable for you to grasp his hard, throbbing, impatient penis. You can stay there a long, long time without strain.
If you get tired and need to rest from your labor, don't worry about it. Tell him you need to rest. For variety you may want to turn toward him and use your other hand for a while. Or just lie there and rest. It's better if you maintain a grasp of his penis, but be assured that the erection is not going anywhere. It'll be there when you're ready. Anyhoo, he probably will have had a hand on your breast while waiting.
SIDE ISSUE HERE: Any time there's a bare breast in sight he has an unquenchable desire to get his hand on it. Only his having learned the desirability of civilized behavior restrains him from reaching every time. There are still some caveman genes climbing on the old family tree.
BACK TO THE SUBJECT.
Unlike you, whose arousal and progress toward orgasm fades and retreats to somewhere near square one when the action on your clit stops, his arousal remains high during a rest stop, and he's ready to begin where you left off. He may lose a millimeter of inflation during the stop, but it's not enough to be a problem to him in resuming action where you left off.
IN FACT: Deliberately stopping to prevent him from reaching orgasm can be an enjoyable technique to prolong the enjoyment. In this case you'd let him rest long enough to lose some of the erection, which would necessitate a longer time in regaining what he lost.
2 SPOONING. This frequently is a natural result of lying together following a satisfying round of intercourse. You, probably quite naturally, snuggle up against his back and reach over his flank to do what comes naturally – hold his limpness for your own comfort and pleasure. So you lie there idly holding and fondling, and whatd'ya know!
It begins to grow bigger and harder. And you're inspired to stroke it slowly, enjoying his reaction to your action. Then you're inspired to take it on to the natural conclusion because you enjoy it all, especially the end where you feel the thrilling surge of hardness as six or seven surges of ejaculate erupt through your hand and out onto the bed – or towel. And you enjoy the thrill of his thrill that you know resulted from your effort. You DID it..
Different people have different degrees of self-control and desire to “do it right.” Many of us believe that it's best – as soon as you realize that there's a real possibility of your going on to take him all the way – to delay your enthusiasm a minute or so while you get the lube and a towel or washcloth.
Then, after application of the lube, you can get him back in the same position if you wish, or start over with him on his back.
3.CALL THIS ONE THE M&J. This developed in clinical applications at the Masters & Johnson sex laboratory at Washington University in St. Louis. We're indebted to Masters and Johnson for revolutionizing our knowledge and understanding of sex they developed in the sixties.
In bed, you sit straight with your back against the headboard with legs spread. He lies on his back facing you and scoots his butt up between your legs as far as feasable. This places his penis in almost the same position for your hand as for his own.
Advantage of this position is that you can sit there for an hour without becoming tired from straining.
Disadvantage is the lack of loving side-by-side body contact.
It's a trade off and the two of you can make your own decision.
4. Somewhere in this forum within the last year a man suggested that his favorite position was seated on the side of the bed with you sitting beside him and reaching over to stroke. This impresses me as the idea of a teenager who's had no experience beyond sitting on the commode alone. But you can make your own decision.
After spreading the lube and giving him tingles as you twist your hand slowly around the head and slide slowly and lovingly up and down the shaft a few times to liquefy and spread the lube, then you can begin long, slow strokes.
A woman, writing in Redbook magazine maybe fifteen years ago, suggested that your grasp should be the same as your grip in holding a phone. She's maybe 30 percent right. The tightness of your grasp should vary from time to time. Probably three levels of tension is what's needed.
FIRST LEVEL: A light touch about the same as for a phone is about right to begin.
SECOND LEVEL: A bit more snug -- as you increase the pace later.
THIRD LEVEL: This is much tighter and is appreciated – if not actually needed – when he's frantic to cum and your stroking is tight, fast and furious. You need to “give it everything you've got.” Don't worry about “too tight” at this point. It's most unlikely that you could hurt it if you tried.
READ HIS REACTIONS: Like you in a similar situation, he breaths faster and deeper and he may gasp, chortle, moan, make unintelligible but obviously happy noises, squirm, jerk his legs, or give you many other possible indications of what he's feeling.
Some people are better at reading such reactions than others are. Be aware of the importance of it, and give it some serious attention. The more you can understand about what he's feeling, and the more you can identify with what he's feeling, the better you can respond with changes to match.
THE PACE: Begin with a slow, gentle stroke. It feels great to him, just as a slow, gentle movement feels to you when he's doing the movement. Give him time to develop a high level of desire for a faster pace. Then increase the pace a bit. Just a bit. See how he reacts to that small increase. If there's no reaction, then increase it a bit more. When he gives you a reaction indicating that his situation has improved, then maintain that pace for a while.
Depending on your reading of his reactions, somewhere along the way you'll want to increase the pace a bit more. Just a bit, and again learn exactly what increases his sensation and his joy. Hold that pace for a while, perhaps gradually increasing the pace as you note his reactions.
There's no rule as to how many small increases are right. The number will change from day to day and from time to time during the same day. It's not rocket science, but it IS an art that you develop for yourself.
One technique that I strongly recommend almost every time is this: when he's fairly close to the end – when you can sense that he's anticipating an orgasm soon, then adjust your pace to keep him at that level. And keep him there on and on, waiting impatiently for an increase in pace that's going to push him over the edge into that free fall to glory.
Keep him there, not to inflict torture, but to give him the ecstasy that he doesn't have the self control to give himself. It's a point where he's not quite desperate, but wants the orgasm now. At the same time he's on a peak of joy where he'd like to stay the rest of his life. That's one of the greatest feelings you can generate for him.
You then use your best judgment in deciding when to pick up the pace, tighten your grasp, and stroke as fast as you possibly can. It needs trial and error. But what else had you rather be doing?
After your thrill at his explosion in your hand, you can identify with the super sensitivity of the head – it's the same unbearable-to-be-touched feeling that you have in the head of your clit immediately after your orgasm. So . . . just lie quietly holding without moving for perhaps a full minute. Don't move your hand.
After the super sensitive feeling fades away, then you can move your hand and perhaps begin to clean up the mess.
Good luck and good loving.