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humanist77
Thanks for your insight, gals. I'll just have to see what happens. At this rate, it could be awhile-not that there's anything wrong with that..although I did see them kiss today. It was adorable~
lapis
Lorax and Maddy, this might sound weird because it's so completely marked as fetishy but, if you haven't, you might want to give some thought to fisting. When you have a patient partner who is attentive and trustworthy there is nothing as mindblowing and healing as a slow, careful hand you can fully surround. I know it sounds odd but even the working up to the whole hand takes so much time and gentle care it gives you a chance to release and experience your openness in a whole new way. You could work up to it using multiple fingers; it's a trust exercise and a way of unfolding into divine pleasure--when done with great care!! And it's all about the massage, coaxing muscles to relax and attending to them when they tighten up, waiting through contractions...I think the violent connotations have to do with the power play some people engage in--or just crappy partners. But in a trusting situation it really does some hard work--and can make you feel powerful when you let go and open up.

EDIT for disclaimer: Despite its potential for pleasure, without proper caution, slowness, lube, gloves, communication, etc. fisting can be very dangerous and painful. Doing it well requires knowledge, trust, and a lot of time, so be careful!
maddy29
hey lapis-yeah, i've heard of the fisting thing as being a really powerful release for some women. i'm so glad lorax brought this up-because it reminds me that there are things i can try to become more in touch with myself. I'll have to have the boyfriend read your descriptions, see if he's into it. lately i haven't wanted any penetration at all, so we'll see.....

girltrouble

and i just hate porn bots. go away.
maddy29
just to bump the ass down....

the shower vs. grower thing is so funny. i thought they were all growers, i mean i thought that's how they worked. smile.gif my boy looks pretty normal sized but dang-when he gets worked up it's just a totally different thing.

i can't imagine if i had a body part that grew and shrank like that. it must be weird to be a guy.
looktothehills
question...def. a bit out there i suppose, but does anyone have tips on sex positions for my bf and i ? we're both new at this (like a month and some change- ea. other's first) but already we're like "what next?"...apparently im too tight for a lot of things and im not into pain, so anything that's...i guess the term is intermediate??Something to help us work up to pro level? haha* ...Nobody freak out!
culturehandy
looktothehills, what have you tried would be the place to start. There are so many things, so let us know what you have done. What do you like in terms of posititions?
boblink
QUOTE(looktothehills @ Mar 17 2007, 04:38 AM) *

question...def. a bit out there i suppose, but does anyone have tips on sex positions for my bf and i ? we're both new at this (like a month and some change- ea. other's first) but already we're like "what next?"...apparently im too tight for a lot of things and im not into pain, so anything that's...i guess the term is intermediate??Something to help us work up to pro level? haha* ...Nobody freak out!



Over all the centuries since Eve ate the Apple, artists and philosophers have depicted and described more than 200 positions. They are, of course, all interesting, but the truly useful can be sifted down to perhaps a dozen. The precise number is highly subjective. One Italian about the sixteenth century, left for posterity a remarkable drawing of the wheelbarrow position. You can be the judge of whether it's useful. The man holds the ankles or calves of the woman who, face down, holds herself in a more or less horizontal position with her hands on the floor.

Here are a few to think about. It's all a matter of two considerations: personal preference and personal differences. Virtually all men can make it in any position where appropriate friction is possible. Many women, I'd guess 20 percent, have the same ability. Try'em all -- everyone that's acceptable to you both. Some are better than others and it takes some time to try every one of them. But what else had you rather be doing?

Four or five variations of the ol' Missionary: Depending on your personal preference (probably based on your personal anatomy) 1. Legs straight on bed; 2. Feet flat on bed with knees raised; 3. Knees pulled back toward shoulders with feet in the air; 4. Your feet or legs on his shoulders; 5. A pillow under your hips will improve G-spot contact. So will 3 and 4.

Modified Missionary: On your back raise your legs. On his side he slides under, you lower your legs over him and reach down to position him for insertion. With one hand he reaches to stroke your clit to orgasm.
Note that it's not necessary for him to thrust in this position. Your involuntary vaginal contractions resulting from the clitoral action is his reward. And you're virtually guaranteed orgasm every time. NOTE that this, traditionally, has been recommended by therapists for women who have trouble reaching orgasm. It is indeed good in that situation. But it's also fun for both most any time. ADDITIONAL NOTE: If he can use his other hand to twiddle a nipple while he strokes your clit -- whoo, dynamite!

And the always popular Cow Girl: He's on his back with legs together. On your knees you straddle and position him for insertion. You can control clit contact, pressure and pace. He can reach both breasts and with a doubled pillow under his head sooner or later he can take a nipple in his mouth. That can be a great help to orgasm. Encourage him to hold still and let you do the thrusting to give you better control over your orgasmic destiny. The degree to which you accept and use this situation is subject to your own experimentation and reactions. Try every angle and clit contact that you can think of.

The Doggy style is a must. Everyone wants to do it at least once. Some make it a regular. Some have a lesser regard for it. Your choice of two basic positions and either way you're on the bed on your knees. 1. He stands on the floor. 2. He's on his knees in bed. Depending on physical characteristics of either or both of you, it may or may not be difficult to maintain insertion. And it may or may not be easy for him to reach one or both breasts or one breast and clit at the same time.

The Chair. A delightful experience for both. Many types of chairs have been used to memorable effect, but to begin I reccommend a small, narrow chair with a sturdy back. A low stool situated to keep his back against a supporting wall or appliance, will work Big executive swivel chairs have been used to wonderful effect. In absence of a better idea, he can sit on corner of a bed (with no footboard) and you straddle him with your feet on the floor. The action here is much the same as in the Cow Girl. It's under your control and with some determination he probably can manage to get a nipple in his mouth. My own experience has been that this is second only to the Missionary.

ADDITIONAL NOTE FOR BEGINNERS. One of the more effective techniques for him to learn is to use the ridge to stimulate your vaginal sphincter. Slow, very slow, twisting while very slowly thrusting in and withdrawing only the head. It may take a lot of practice to do it to best effect, but again, what else had you rather be doing?

Good luck and good loving.








_octinoxate
Awesome post, bob! The only comment I have is that I find it tough to move the way I want in cowgirl if his legs are laying flat on the bed... much better for me if his knees are bent and feet planted on the bed, so I can rock back and push off again from his thighs. (Does that make sense?)

Good luck, hills! Have fun!
LoveMyPugs
God I love when Boblink posts! biggrin.gif

My personal favorites that he mentioned are good ol' missionary with my feet or legs on his shoulders. I love my toes sucked on so this gets my feet very close to his mouth. He doesn't do it often because he likes to catch me off guard and surprise me. A pillow under your hips will ABSOLUTELY improve G-spot contact, improving sex all together.

If done some different forms of modified missionary. I find these are good for late in the night slow quickies. tongue.gif

Regarding cowgirl, my man is very wide (not fat just wide hipped) and I'm so short that I tend to see saw on top of him and my thighs are very sore the next day. However, while on top I can grind on him like Bob suggested and control speed and penetration more. I'm not up there for long cause it kills my thighs and knees but while I'm there I love it. I too prop him up on a pillow so we can have more eye contact. He loves to watch me in this position.

THE DOGGY STYLE IS A MUST! again THE DOGGY STYLE IS A MUST! I don't understand those who have a lesser regard for it. Makes no sense to me at all. This is my and I'd go as to say it's most women's favorite position. We prefer to both be on the bed instead of him standing because again there is a height difference but it's still a regular in our bedroom (any room actually).

Sorry to cut this short but guests just arrived. I've got to go entertain.

The only other position I'd offer is similar to the chair but instead using an ottoman. You can lots of fun things on an ottoman.

HAVE FUN!!!!
boblink
QUOTE(_octinoxate @ Mar 17 2007, 08:28 PM) *

Awesome post, bob! The only comment I have is that I find it tough to move the way I want in cowgirl if his legs are laying flat on the bed... much better for me if his knees are bent and feet planted on the bed, so I can rock back and push off again from his thighs. (Does that make sense?)

Good luck, hills! Have fun!




THIS IS AN ADDENDUM to my post of 6:01 p.m. today. That's a $10 cover for the two-bit excuse that I couldn't get it together the first time.

But first . . .

(((Pugs))) Thanks for the kind words. Makes be believe I may be doing something right.

(((Octinoxate))) Yes, indeed, it makes sense. Whatever works for you makes sense to me.

And, now the Added info.

Some quick research that may be of some interest to a sexual scholar (as distingushed from sexual adventurers) revealed that the artist was Aretino.

Aretino seems to have been a permanent comic guest at the court of Pope Clement VII in the early or middle 1300s. After being kicked out for misbehavior of the sexual kind, he ended up in his own establishment in Venice living large and enjoying a lot of what he had on his mind. He deserves more time than I can give him here. He's the artist I referred to in regard to the Wheelbarrow position. He produced stacks of drawings of interesting, possible but impractical positions. I haven't tried Googling him; who knows what we might find. If you take the time and trouble to do it, please post the result.

I hereby correct my first description. The man is not holding her ankles or calves, but has his arms up to the the elbows under her thighs just above the knee joints. That seems to be reasonably possible.

If you try it, please give us a report.

I found it on page 283 of "Sex in History," by Reay Tannahill. She has participated in production of some interesting documentaries on TV, maybe ten to fifteen years ago.














boblink
QUOTE(boblink @ Mar 17 2007, 10:07 PM) *

THIS IS AN ADDENDUM to my post of 6:01 p.m. today. That's a $10 cover for the two-bit excuse that I couldn't get it together the first time.

But first . . .

(((Pugs))) Thanks for the kind words. Makes be believe I may be doing something right.

(((Octinoxate))) Yes, indeed, it makes sense. Whatever works for you makes sense to me.

And, now the Added info.

Some quick research that may be of some interest to a sexual scholar (as distingushed from sexual adventurers) revealed that the artist was Aretino.

Aretino seems to have been a permanent comic guest at the court of Pope Clement VII in the early or middle 1300s. After being kicked out for misbehavior of the sexual kind, he ended up in his own establishment in Venice living large and enjoying a lot of what he had on his mind. He deserves more time than I can give him here. He's the artist I referred to in regard to the Wheelbarrow position. He produced stacks of drawings of interesting, possible but impractical positions. I haven't tried Googling him; who knows what we might find. If you take the time and trouble to do it, please post the result.

I hereby correct my first description. The man is not holding her ankles or calves, but has his arms up to the the elbows under her thighs just above the knee joints. That seems to be reasonably possible.

If you try it, please give us a report.

I found it on page 283 of "Sex in History," by Reay Tannahill. She has participated in production of some interesting documentaries on TV, maybe ten to fifteen years ago.


Further addendum to my post of 3-17-07 at 6:01 p.m.

RE: Aretino.
I googled him and found a slew of ancient erotica, including the art, which has been erroneously credited to him. It appears that he was a writer of erotica and wrote the poetic text for each of the sixteen positions now labeled “Aretino's Postures.

You can tread the same trail plus much more, beginning with this URL. Sorry I haven't figured out how to insert a working link with this software.

Pornokrates.com/Aretino.html
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(_octinoxate @ Mar 17 2007, 04:28 PM) *

I find it tough to move the way I want in cowgirl if his legs are laying flat on the bed... much better for me if his knees are bent and feet planted on the bed, so I can rock back and push off again from his thighs.


Octinoxate -

Same with me and Mr. Pug!
culturehandy
I third that position, or would that be fourth...it's divine, and that's what matters!
mellie0304
OK I want to say that although I have not been on your site long I have learned more then I thought I knew. So I read this thread and my man and I tried the positions on here....I just want to say that I dont remember much from that night and I was sober...it was that good wait not good it was great honestly....I am a plus size girl and I could do most of those positions..so like wow I cant believe the only thing I remember was the beginning and the end is that bad?
maimy
Mellie, if you remember it with a smile, it is good!

Welcome to BUST. Feel free to cruise around as you please and throw in your two cents. Have a good time ... er, here *and* with the man!
mellie0304
Thanks Maimy...there is definitely a smile there every time I daydream about it biggrin.gif that man has me speechless. He does all these wonderful things in bed that make me feel sexy! I know you girls know what I mean.
boblink
It's a joy, Mellie,

to have made a small contribution to your joy. Your post inpires me to add a couple of positions that tend to be appreciated more by women than by men. Please note that I didn't invent anything. All 200 or so positions were in use at least six thousand years ago.

#1. Sideways face-to-face. You have much control over depth, movement and clitoral contact. Hook an ankle over his leg to provide leverage for some swinging, thrusting and perhaps grinding.

#2. Sideways with your back to him, spoon fashion. Not only can he reach over to to stroke your clit or twiddle a nipple, it facilitates G-spot contact like the doggy style (which it is, but on your side rather than on your knees.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: It may be helpful to know that the more erotic nerve endings he can stimulate for you at the same time, the greater the joy for you and the more steam comes whistling out your ears.

EXAMPLES: Twiddle one nipple while holding the other in mouth.
Twiddle both nipples at same time.
Hold one nipple in mouth and stroke clit at same time.
Hold long kiss while stroking clit or twiddling nipple.
He makes like a contortionist and twiddles both nipples while holding long kiss.


Good luck and good loving.


alex11
I'm having trouble figuring out the modified missionary... is the guy perpendicular to the lady? Thanks wink.gif
musicfit
I wasn't sure if I should create a thread for this, or not.

Is there anyone on here who is low sex-drive and is dating or married to a man who has en extremely high sex drive?

It's so frustrating, because my hubby wants sex over and over again during the same time period. Sex tires me out and I'm just DONE after I've had sex. Mostly I think it's due to birth control and Lexapro. I have the urge to have sex with my husband once (or twice if it's a good one) a week. My husband wants it all the time. I'm worried that our sex drives will never be the same. Anyone dealt with that before? I SO want to be the sexed up person he is. But it's just not gonna happen when I'm on the pill. Actually, the whole time I've known him I've been on the pill. It could be that I've never experienced my true sex drive.

Any suggestions you might have would be welcome.
boblink
QUOTE(alex11 @ Mar 20 2007, 04:31 AM) *

I'm having trouble figuring out the modified missionary... is the guy perpendicular to the lady? Thanks wink.gif


(((Alex))) Yes, you're right. The guy is crossways -- right angle -- under your legs.

While he's there I hope he has a finger on your clit and a hand on a nipple.

Have fun.
boblink
[Oops. I goofed. Excuse, please.
boblink
(((Musicfit)))
Your problem is off the beaten path in this area. It seems to parallel a man's problem in losing ability to get it up after going on a hypertension medication. A friend told me he went back to the doctor, got a change in medication and eliminated the problem. That may or may not work. You could try several meds before finding the one that works for you.

You might find more comprehensive knowledge at Clitical.Com. Michael, the head honcho over there probably can offer more and better info.

(((P.S.))) Can somebody please explain to me how to insert a link here?
lapis
Musicfit,
Many of my friends decided that the birth control pill ruined their sex lives. I doubt you would marry a person you were completely incompatible with, so maybe you should go off the pill and find a reliable kind of birth control or switch pills. In my opinion, some pills are terrible culprits (like basically anyhting made by ortho and yasmin) while others make it bearable, but that's my experience it just depends on having the patience in finding the right one. I also posted in the alternative medicine thread about a bc pill from India I am looking into but don't know much about. There are some oral contraceptives made for lower libidos and have more male hormones, which could be a possibility. Which, if I may ask, pill are you on? And ahve you tried others? But there might be an emotional component too if you feel like your man is always trying to push you past the point where you're satisfied. Do you talk about it? I totally feel for you. Good luck.

Oh, I have been with people in the reversed position and I was just patient and took it whenever I could get it. It was better than nagging for sex but it was still hard, so I identify with your husband, too. You will find a solution!!
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(musicfit @ Mar 20 2007, 01:04 AM) *

I wasn't sure if I should create a thread for this, or not.

Is there anyone on here who is low sex-drive and is dating or married to a man who has en extremely high sex drive?

It's so frustrating, because my hubby wants sex over and over again during the same time period. Sex tires me out and I'm just DONE after I've had sex. Mostly I think it's due to birth control and Lexapro. I have the urge to have sex with my husband once (or twice if it's a good one) a week. My husband wants it all the time. I'm worried that our sex drives will never be the same. Anyone dealt with that before? I SO want to be the sexed up person he is. But it's just not gonna happen when I'm on the pill. Actually, the whole time I've known him I've been on the pill. It could be that I've never experienced my true sex drive.

Any suggestions you might have would be welcome.


Musicfit -

Sorry for this long post but I could just type forever on this topic. I was in the same position you were. I was on antidepressant medication and birth control. I'm not on either now. I find that when I'm not on any medication my sex drive comes back. We had also been together for a long time and things were getting a little boring in my opinion. Sex stopped being fun. It was irritating and felt like a chore for me. It was terrible. Him always humping on my leg like a dog and begging, “Can we please have sex, it’s been so long.” was so unattractive. It drove me insane. I felt like all he ever thought about was sex, sex, and more sex. I felt like a piece of meat to him. I dealt with this for years (eight to be exact). I know and understand how you feel. In all honesty he just wanted my attention. He’s emotional needs are filled through my physical actions. He likes to be touched all the time. I needed him to be there with me emotionally. I needed him to be more confident and devote time to just me. We both needed things from one another that had a hard time expressing.

I'm going to try to give you some advise but it may not work with your relationship. I hope you can take something from what I’m saying:

1. Make time for the two of you together. Sunday mornings are for Mr. Pug and I only. Friends and family know this and know not to call because we won't answer the phones (unless it's an emergency of course). We stay in bed as long as we want. We usually have sex first thing and then cuddle, shower together and then make and eat breakfast together (sometimes we just eat in bed). We might watch a movie cuddled on the couch or play with the dogs on the floor. My point is take time for just the two of you. SCHEDULE IT INTO YOUR WEEK! Pick a day and make it just the two of you time. Explain to him that you have no problem giving him the physical as long as he'll nurture your emotions. This has become very important to Mr. Pug and me and we stick to it.
2. People told me to take care of myself, eat right, exercise and do things that made me happy…blah, blah, blah. It’s really true though. Sleep is important. Not too much and not too little.
3. I personally had to cut down masturbating so much. I was wasting all that sexual energy on myself and not sharing it with him. I was doing it everyday and now I do it at the most once a week.
4. I can’t focus on us when I have so many other things on my mind. Come the weekends our house was a mess and I couldn’t get into sex when I was thinking about dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming and such. So I spread it out throughout the week and made him start helping so that on the weekends there wasn’t much to do. I could lie there and devote myself to us. Funny how the more sex he gets the more helpful he is around the house.

The next few may sound contradicting but try to follow if you can. It’s a delicate balance.

5. I personally needed Mr. Pug to step up to the plate a little more. As terrible as it might sound I needed him to stop asking for it and just take it when he wanted it. I don’t know how to explain it but I found him “begging” for it was just so unattractive to me. Now when he demands that I stop washing dishes and go upstairs and fuck him I melt to his dominance. A lot of my girlfriends have admitted to me in private that they wish their guys would be more masculine in this way. Take this with a grain of salt because it may honestly not be for you.
6. On the other hand, I recommend that you try to initiate more. This is very hard because if your not feeling it and you make yourself do it anyway some resentment can build. However, it seemed like as soon as I started initiating more our roles completely reversed. I’m always begging Mr. Pug for sex now and he turns me down from time to time. He has talked to his guy friends and they all agree that turning your girl down occasionally makes her want it even more. It does for me.
7. Timing used to be everything. I wanted it mid afternoon and late at night and Mr. Pug wanted it in the morning and early evening. We were never on the same schedule. What we do now is when Mr. Pug wants it in the morning we do it and when I wake up in the middle of the night horny I wake him up and we do it. If you wait until the timing is perfect you’ll be waiting forever.


Last but not least…

8. If there is anything that you find makes you horny then DO IT! If you like reading trashy erotica then read away. If you like watching “movie” sex scenes or just straight porn then watch them alone and fantasize about your man while watching them. I love sex and I find that the more I talk about it the more I want it. I come on bust and read and post about it my and other’s sexual encounters. I listen to music that turns me on and I watch movies that I find very hot. I check out pictures of sexy celebrities that I like. I savor all that sexual energy and save it all for Mr. Pug.


Mr. Pug says I’m a different person now then I was just three months ago. I like having my sexual identity back. It was gone for so long and now I feel younger and more feminine. I find that I’m super crazy about Mr. Pug like when we first met. Shit, on Saturday Mr. Pug and I lay drunk on our couch making out in front of our friends while they stared, pointed and made fun of us. Friends have told us how much happier we both seem. Things have just done a complete 180.

Take what you can from what I’ve said and I wish you the best of luck. I know your frustrated but things will get better if you both work at it.
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(mellie0304 @ Mar 19 2007, 11:37 AM) *

I just want to say that I dont remember much from that night and I was sober...it was that good wait not good it was great honestly....I am a plus size girl and I could do most of those positions..so like wow I cant believe the only thing I remember was the beginning and the end is that bad?


I'm plus size too and that's why I put in my two cents because big girls need loving too yo! I too have had mind blowing sex and afterwards only remember the beginning and end. I think your brain disconnects when your having muliple orgasms.
alex11
thank-you boblink!!!
mellie0304
For now I have to read the thread since I dont have any input...(grrr to surgeries that dont allow sex after)...I am so glad Pugs that you know what I mean...Its not always easy to do some of the same positions the other girls can do..I know I cant get into a pretzel position anymore...hehehe


AND Bob thanks I will try those once I am ok'd to continue on my learning adventures
cstars124
I haven't posted in a long time, cause work blocked bust! ARRGH!

But I have a little issue and I figured, who else could help me out but everyone on bust?

I have a bf that I've been dating for a few months and he's great. When we met, he was a virgin, and I took his virginity about a couple of months ago. Since we started having sex, he hasn't been able to cum from it. He can cum from me blowing him, or jerking him off, but not from sex. And we've tried different positions, and creams and condoms and all this stuff and nothing is happening! Is this normal for someone that isn't used to sex? He used to masturbate a lot, so could that be it? Any suggestions on what I should do?

Thanks!
_octinoxate
Cstars, from what I can tell, that's not uncommon--virgin or no. I wouldn't sweat it. Maybe he'll surprise you both one of these days! Also, are you using condoms every time? For some men, that alone is the problem (which isn't to say I'm encouraging anyone to have unsafe sex, of course). One last thing: I've known some men who have that same issue but find it a bit easier to get there when doing the "doggystyle" (dumb name) position. Good luck!
opheliathemuse
It occurred to me I ought to ask for advice. I haven't come in my current relationship at all. Then again, I haven't masturbated at all for a long time. I really love the sex I'm having with Orion. Like, a lot. More than I have with anyone. I want to sort of take it to the next level, and I'm not certain how. Perhaps it is an emotional thing at this point rather than a physical thing? I have no idea. And please, do not tell me to have him twiddle my clit or nipple. That just hurts.
/grouch

I suppose I ought to qualify this with the fact don't tend to come easily. I have to work at it, and I have only done it with three out of 5 and a 1/2. 6, if you add the two halves together. It's a very personal thing for me.
dayglowpink
opheliathemuse- There was some discussion of this issue (having a hard time coming) a while back; I think it was on this thread. I am dealing with the same thing. I've been doing it with my guy for about a year now, and it's only been in the past couple of months that I've been able to come on a regular basis with him, and it's still pretty much only with me using my hand or my vibrator. At first I wasn't able to come at all, but it's slowly been getting better. I think it is emotional for me as well. I'm like you in that I absolutely love having sex with him, and he is great in bed and very willing to do whatever I need, so it doesn't seem like a technical issue. I think what has helped me most is trying not to worry and stress about it and not trying so hard to come but just enjoying the sensations, etc. It definitely still bothers me at times, though, and I get frustrated that it's not easier for me. He is totally supportive and has never given me any indication of this, but I get paranoid that he secretly is bummed out that I can't come more easily. I don't know how long you've been with your guy, but it may just be something that takes time. It's weird for me, because this was never an issue for me with other guys until right before I started seeing my current guy, I had sex with my ex-boyfriend, and it happened with him for the first time ever, and then it has been an issue ever since.
opheliathemuse
thanks for the reply, dayglowpink. =)
I've been thinking about it, and I think perhaps I'm expecting too much of myself in a lot of areas.
1) I've only been with him a little over two months, which we always forget, because of how we connect on many levels. This might make me feel a little pressured to start having the kind of sex you have 3 years in--maybe less fireworks but more intense if you know what I mean?
2) We're both really sexual people, and when there's a roadblock we try to fix it or let itself pan out.
3) I'm trying to think of other ways, like toys, because I hate hand-to-clit stimulus, unless I am wearing clothing. And I only occasionally like oral sex.
I guess maybe I'll have to wait this one out, huh? =)
One other issue: he's large and I'm small. He's 6'1" and 180lbs, something like that, and I am 5'2" and 100lbs. And he is a large guy. Maybe that could be issue?
boblink
QUOTE(cstars124 @ Mar 28 2007, 01:44 PM) *
I haven't posted in a long time, cause work blocked bust! ARRGH!

But I have a little issue and I figured, who else could help me out but everyone on bust?

I have a bf that I've been dating for a few months and he's great. When we met, he was a virgin, and I took his virginity about a couple of months ago. Since we started having sex, he hasn't been able to cum from it. He can cum from me blowing him, or jerking him off, but not from sex. And we've tried different positions, and creams and condoms and all this stuff and nothing is happening! Is this normal for someone that isn't used to sex? He used to masturbate a lot, so could that be it? Any suggestions on what I should do?

Thanks!


Cstars124

It's an unusual problem, like a bird that flies only in abnormal circumstances. I have an idea that has maybe a 50-50 chance of solving the problem. But it should be a mutually enjoyable effort. It can't do any harm, and what else had you rather be doing?

On top, lying flat, hold still while you hold a long kiss. Don't try to help him with thrusting moves. Let it grow on him over as long a time as it may take. Come up for air whenever it's necessary, but get back to another kiss. It shouldn't take long before he's groaning and thrusting with some desperation. You may need to exercise some judgement as to how to help and when. Don't help with thrusting simply because he needs it. Torture him with desire for it.The stronger the desire the easier he'll cum. Make him want it. Desperately.

If this doesn't solve the problem, let us know and I'll post a longer more complex solution based on a technique from Masters & Johnson's sex clinic at Washington University.

Good luck and good loving.
professor
Last night, I had sex with an ex-boyfriend whose virginity I took when he was 16 and I was 17 (which made it hotter!) He is moderately kind of the psuedo macho type and I kind of have feelings for him again...even though I broke up with him but that was around 5 years ago...so I am not sure how to act towards him and not make myself look desperate seing as if that would probably build up his ego a bit more. But damn that was good sex. A lot of my boys are skinny rails but he has some nice muscle (but not too much) and after cupped my ass then proceeded to lift me up and put me on top of him...I swear to god I blacked out.
twose
Well do you people mean that by switching to a particular form of diet it can help change the flavor of the cum? Frankly speaking I have never heard anything like this and if this is indeed true then I must say that it is encouraging for women like us. As I can understand that my hubby likes me to take his cum on my face but I dont really like the taste of the same. So what could be more better if I can make him happy!
thingsarenice
cstars124, I really wouldn't worry about it at all. My boyfriend lost his virginity to me, too, and over the four years since the we started having sex, I think I can count the number of times he has orgasmed during intercourse on two hands. This used to kind of piss me off, but I got used to it, and now I actually like it, since I hardly ever have to worry about him cumming before I do.

I myself am kind of wondering about threesomes. My boyfriend, the glorious being that he is, suggested that we consider having a MMF threesome (two guys and one girl). This is fantastic news, not only because I'm interested in having a MMF threesome, but also because I'm interested in having a FFM threesome, but would not be comfortable having one without having the other kind first--don't ask, I'm just weird like that. But since he brought it up, I felt comfortable bringing up the idea of bringing in another woman. The problem is finding a third person. We want it to be someone we like and feel that we can trust, but to be honest, we don't have the most attractive group of friends. Only one would be a possibility from that perspective, but he's somewhat homophobic and not exactly sexually adventurous. Does anyone have any advice they could give us?
dayglowpink
thingsarenice- Ugh, I've been trying to find a girl for me and my guy to hook up with for almost a year. I'm probably not looking in the right places or something, but I have not had any luck. I think finding another guy is much easier. Do you have a craigslist where you live? I have had luck in hooking up with just dudes off there, but there's always many MF couples looking for another F, and I haven't had anyone respond to ads I have posted looking for a woman. There are usually quite a few ads for M seeking MF couples. Our craigslist is pretty small, and I think in big cities it might be easier. I hooked up with two guys (together) off craislist, though, and that was pretty fun. The craigslist thing might seem sketchy, but I've only had positive experiences. I feel you, though. I'm dying to get another girl in bed with us, but it's hard to find the right person.
thingsarenice
dayglowpink, a couple of people have suggested Craigslist, but considering my one friend's hobby of reading creepy Craigslist ads to me, I'm a little wary. I've been on this website called OKCupid! for a long time (the quizzes are terrific time-wasters), so I amended my profile to say that we're looking for a threesome partner. So far I've gotten two considerable offers. I am particularly intrigued by the out-of-town one--hello! Vacay!--plus he seems to fill our requirements particularly well. Granted, this just means that he is 1) bisexual, 2) hot, but not too hot, and 3) not dumb, but it's a good start.
glassk
see if there's any fetish nights in your area.

they may seem primarily oriented at bdsm, but also attract people who want to wear strange things, or a lot less things, or do unconventional things.
dayglowpink
Yeah, there are definitely some weirdos on craigslist, but like I said, I have had positive experiences there. It's cool that you might have found someone, though! I might try out that site, too.
humanist77
I need some serious advice here.
About a month ago I posted in this thread about my BGP, who was getting involved with a guy and was a little worried about his penis size-she had not slept with him yet-and I wanted to know what I should tell her.

Well, they have consummated-and she is quite happy with it, she hasn't let on to his size, which I don't particularly care about-but she says he definitely knows what he's doing, and she enjoys it. Halleluiah.

The problem is that she has some major issues with using protection. He falls flat in 5 seconds in a condom, and she...among other things, is scared to go to a gynecologist. She said she doesn't want a stranger "poking around down there". She has a normal doctor, who told her that because of all the medications she is on (for an ulcer, and anxiety) that she wouldn't dare try putting her on the pill, or anything hormonal. But that was a couple years ago when she last asked about it, and she is on different meds now-but she still has some kind of mental blockage to even ask again.

So...they're using withdrawl. Statistics show that an average of 27 out of 100 women in a year will become pregnant, using withdrawl alone. If used VERY carefully, only 4 will (which is a fairly good rate, but I don't know how careful they are). I mentioned diaphragms, female condoms, and any others I could think of-but it was like she wasn't listening to me-she refuses to try anything. It's completely irrational.

I've talked to her about this a couple of times so far, calmly and respectfully-but it quickly turns to her getting frustrated and yelling. It is obvious that she is stressed about it as well as in deep denial about the high possibility of getting pregnant.

This is terrifying for me, because although she is pro-choice, she would personally never, never, never have an abortion, and on top of that, she would refuse to give a baby up for adoption-she says she'd never give her child to strangers. I told her that in an open adoption you can interview as many couples as you want before deciding who to give it to, and keep in touch with them throughout the child's life, but she would have none of it.

I told her she is in denial about getting pregnant, and she said she is not in denial....so she is in denial about being in denial about getting pregnant..she is in denial about how much a baby would affect her life, she is in denial about her options if she did get pregnant, and she is apparently in denial about how babies are made in the first place.

She has been in college for years, and is close to getting her degree in teaching. I don't want her to waste everything that she has worked so hard for. She has a promising future ahead. She doesn't realize that it can all change in an instant. She says she doesn't care, she will quit school, and work around the clock to support the child. I told her she'd be ruining her life, and she got angry, saying that a baby doesn't ruin someone's life. It may not kill her, but yes, it will ruin her plans to finish school and have a career. Not to mention her bf's life, as he is definitely not the type to take off.

Her bf is an artist. A real, gifted, but starving artist. He makes no other income besides from the art he makes and sells. It would destroy my heart to see him have to give up his dream of being a self sustaining artist, to have to take a real, steady job to help support a child.

I am not giving up on this, despite her getting angry when talking about it. I know that on one hand it is her and her bf's business, but they both seem to be in denial (although I haven't talked to him, and I don't plan to) and I care so much about her and her future, and I care about his as well, and I think someone who is being realistic needs to step in. It's not like I can have an intervention for her-it's too personal and intimate of an issue. What can I say to her that might wake her up? I mean, she could be pregnant right now! They could've gotten pregnant last night! It can happen any time.
humanist77
sorry-accidentally hit send before I finished

I just wanted to add-
this is an urgent issue. I want to help her in any way I can. She is a smart person but she is being very naive and irresponsible.

Thanks so much for anyone with advice!
tyger
humanist, it sounds like you've done as much as you can (or at least as much as i could think of to do, in any case). i'm just wondering why you won't try talking to him? do you not know him very well? because, i mean, the problem doesn't just lie with her, he's also fully complacent in their sexual shenanigans, and maybe he would be easier to convince that they're on the wrong side of the dumb choices line?
opheliathemuse
excellent point tyger; he's one half of the parenting equation.
mornington
humanist, i'm with tyger - talk to him! if she's not going to listen to you, she might listen to him (even if it's just going to the gyno/gp). and... tbh, it sounds like she's too busy enjoying the sex to really think about it. you could put it down in an email, or something - it might be easier without the face-to-face awkwardness. maybe if it was in writing she'd (or he would) listen... or maybe you could go to planned parenthood and see if they have any leaflets on the withdrawal method and give them to her.

i hope you and your friend don't fall out of this - it might be that she's got to make the decision herself and you can't change her mind.
opheliathemuse
humanist, I just thought--would she be mature/willing/open to the idea of monitoring her cycle so she would be less likely to get pregnant?
humanist77
Thanks for your responses, gals!

I am writing an email to her right now. I realized that at this point, it is the best way for me to talk to her-because I know she will read it, and if I write it out carefully and thoroughly enough, I just might get a point across. And she has no chance to interrupt me with yelling. I might post the email here just to get insight on that as well.

We have been BGP's forever. We are like sisters more than friends, there is nothing that can ruin our friendship-we actually bicker all the time-so I have no problem about being brutally honest with her.

I guess at some point, I am prepared to talk to her boyfriend. I am friends with him, but I don't know him that well, and I feel like I'm invading his privacy more than I am hers. But I know that it is for the sake of her as much as it is for him, so yes, I will talk to him if I need to. He is also a pretty reasonable person.

I think I'm going to offer her to come with me to my next exam, even sit in the room with me during it (maybe facing the doctor!) just to see what it is like.

Thanks again for your ideas, and please-anyone else respond as well!
opheliathemuse
wow, that's a very good and a very brave idea.
_octinoxate
I wonder if she knows about the nuvaring or would be able to use it-- it has much lower hormone levels than the pill does.

I also wonder if rather than being in double denial, she actually wants to get pregnant, on some level. That would explain things too.

Good luck- you're a good friend!
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