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edie52
I know, I thought it was really weird too. Yet, I was oddly satisfied to find that my chosen "hairstyle" matched my body type. Y'know how those magazines can make you feel kinda validated if you find that for once you fit into their mold and like a freak if you don't... (which is one reason I don't read them either, unless I'm in a waiting room or something, where they're a guilty pleasure but still often eye-roll inducing).
culturehandy
Oh my, best bush styling's for your body type...what next...

Do what you want is pretty much what I think.
maimy
There's such a guilty sense of smug validation in passing snark inpsection! Heh.
kelkello
Hey Maimy, does the Nair burn on the nether-regions? I'd like to try it, but I was afraid of the chemicals.
greenbean
QUOTE
There's such a guilty sense of smug validation in passing snark inpsection! Heh.

Dude, that totally reminds me how on Monday I watched some on the Miss Universe pageant and whenever I watch those things I at first get mad at how blatantly they are presenting these women as sex objects...but then when all the final contestants are Hispanic and Asian I'm like "Yeah!! No blondes!!"....then its like wait, Doh!! I just got suckered.

And funny, I do have a boyish body and I tend to keep a tuff of hair on the mound, hmmm. I shave the sides to the labia and keep the rest trim. A few times I went full-blown bald but I have thick, dark hair that produces an embarassing five o'clock shadow. I do like my labia bare for sex for sure, but it does take upkeep and I can be lazy sometimes. I didnt think Nair was a possibility...I'm pretty sensitive so I too am scared to try it. How long do you leave it on, maims?

I like guys to keep themselves trim as well but not bald, no way. I've only been with one dude who went bald down there and it was too weird for me. Visually I like patches of hair where they should be on a dude, like a happy trail, mmmmm.

Funny note on the body hair issue: I have a friend who is Columbian and her boyfriend is Jewish and they both hate their hairy bodies...she waxes her arms and he shaves his legs! And apparently he stops at the upper legs so she says he has "hairy shorts".!!!! I was without words when she told me that.
maimy
Well, I seem to be unusually composed in the nethers, so as I said before, your mileage may vary. However, the best way to find out whether you're too sensitive is to test it on a SMALL patch of your armpit hair. I emphasize small patch - like 20-30% of the full hairgrowth area, because in summer heat, if you do the whole pit and it doesn't go well, you will be very unhappy for a day or even two. And they do make a sensitive formula too, which may be worth trying first.

I actually started doing it a year and a half ago or so, when a friend and I were discussing her use of it in that area. She is sensitive, so uses the "lite" stuff and leaves it on 4 minutes. I am not sensitive, so use the regular formula, and I actually leave it on a full eight minutes. Full disclosure: this CAN irritate the anal region, if you don't have time to lie down with your legs up and DO NOT MOVE for the duration. I cannot emphasize enough, do not move around, and do not close off the area - keep your legs open and up and stay flat on your back. As the cheeks are chummy next-door neighbors, they are the most likely to rub or chafe, and that can lead to soreness. When that's happened, I've been perfectly fine for the most part, but the first minute or two are illuminating ones!

One other note - I was afraid that there would be chemical odor, but asked kog3100 when he was last - ahem - down, and he indicated no problem. Which was a great relief, given how well it works, how much he likes "bare", and how long I marinade in the stuff to get the job done. Heh.
opheliathemuse
boblink,
My signature is from Hamlet, spoken by Gertrude to Laertes and Claudius upon Ophelia's demise. I hope you like it. =)
stargazer
about the hair speak, i tend to like women and men both to be very natural. i don't like the weird shaved pubic areas. it seems too contrived to me. not natural at all. i was looking at old art pictures where the women had soft bodies (not gym bunnies) with the pubic area au natural. they looked lovely. especially man ray photos. beautiful. i like a man to be manly. i'm not into manscaping. trimming is ok.

and on a feminist slant, i'm not into the completely bare look. makes me think of adolescent girls. kinda creeps me out when guys get turned on by that. but, tis me.

i will say that it did feel cool when i tried the brazilian. but, i noticed no difference in the whole feel the wetness factor. no offense. but, when i read how it made a difference how you all felt...i thought, "how hairy are you folks that you can't feel that?!?" wink.gif

well, enjoy your men and women how you like 'em. hairy or bald.
boblink
QUOTE(opheliathemuse @ Jun 1 2007, 06:16 AM) *
boblink,
My signature is from Hamlet, spoken by Gertrude to Laertes and Claudius upon Ophelia's demise. I hope you like it. =)



I do, indeed, like it. I've admired it over a long time until, finally, I didn't have even a guess at it's source and just had to ask. Thank you.
mouse
re: hair--i'm naturally pretty furry in the delicate areas (which is weird because the hair on my arms is pretty much invisible and i don't have moustache issues or anything) and i don't like it. i use a tiny electric trimmer for labia and a smallish triangle, and then either tweeze or wax the rest. i hate the in-between part so much though, where it's long enough to be visible but not long enough to wax...anyone found any way of getting around this, or ways you deal with it?

on others i don't really care at all, but if it's getting out of hand it's courteous to trim.
greenbean
Sorry if this derails the convo...but I didn't know where to put this: Collagen for your G-spot
zoya
mouse - I just let it go.. there have been a few times I've gotten some action in that stage and none of the guys seemed to care at all - even though I was like "ugh I need a bikini wax" - they were like "it's fine, it's nice!" it pretty much looks trim and thin in that stage anyway (well at least on me and I'm pretty damn hairy down there if I let it all come in) There have, however, been a few times when I've ended up going like 3 months between and it's ALL come in, and ugh, that's when I don't dig it. The afore mentioned are all sex wise.. now when it comes to swimsuits, I just wear board shorts or a two piece with boy shorts when it's growing back in. (cause I like to wax the very top of my legs - where it would show if I was wearing regular bikini bottoms when it comes back in)

greenbean - the link doesn't work.. I'm very curious!
mouse
that's encouraging, zoya, thanks! honestly i think boys probably don't care as much as we think they do, but i'll admit i'm less likely to be real flirty with someone if i don't think i'm groomed well enough.


zoya
I hear you, mouse! I couldn't care less if I'm on my period and I get with a guy, but not groomed, and I get all shy... haha
glassk
Zoya!
I *do* care if I'm on my period. But how to get over this?
I got some Instead cups, but I haven't tried using them during sex- i'm iffy about them. The first time they worked, the next time they were sorta leaky, and throwing them out is messy. *but cool*

Anyways, tell me about it. I don't want to care!
zoya
glassk - I"m lucky, I have a really light flow so except for the really heaviest part of my period (which is usually the first half of the second day of my period) I can have sex without it being like the shower scene in psycho. I've actually had sex with a guy who really didn't like having period sex, and afterwards, he was like "oh, that wasn't bad, it was hardly anything" and that was without Instead (which incidentally I use on a regular basis during my period as an alternative to tampons)

so I"m not the best person to ask about Instead during sex. I have tried to use it once during sex - I put it in before I went out with this guy, and then when we got back to his place, we both fell asleep. So much for that. hah.
_octinoxate
I want to get in on this hair conversation! I've always had quite a bit of body hair generally, netherregions included (post-puberty of course) and have also always been rather self-conscious about it. (I've tried real hard to get ok with it, but I'm just not into it... score for the patriarchy, right? wink.gif ) Since going off the pill this past year, even more has grown in... I mean, it's really a lot, and my gyno actually said it's possible I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. so anyway, while having some pubic hair is all well and good to me--on the labia and mons-- I'm going in for a consultation about laser hair removal to see about getting all this hair on the thighs and butt. i'm ok with doing maintenance when i'm gonna get it on with someone, but i'd prefer not to have to do maintenance just to put on a short skirt, for chrissake!

Still, I have real mixed feelings about this. I kinda feel like I'm admitting defeat: "ok, i can't get over this socialization and these cultural norms that hair=ugly, so i'm gonna capitulate and fork out a bunch of cash to take care of this." (And I can't help but wonder if maybe someday I'll end up with someone who has a hair fetish or something and i'd be one lucky gal smile.gif ) And I'm worried about whether or not laser is 100% safe. But on the other hand, I figure that i've been trying to get past this insecurity for, oh, fifteen years, with no luck so far... so right now when i have the money, and the active dating life, i should just feel free to get rid of (some of!) this bothersome hair... and stop fretting about this once and for all!

Any thoughts? They'd be appreciated!!

Mouse, zoya, I get way shy about hooking up ungroomed too--but I work it to my advantage! If I'm trying to NOT sleep with someone (for instance, an ex-boyfriend i'm going to hang out with) I'll leave myself all jungle so that I'm less likely to be ruled by my sex drive! It works well for me! tongue.gif
zoya
oxy - I figure, fuck it - if it makes you happy, do it. Maybe it's not socialization, maybe it's not a bow to the patriarchy - maybe you just don't like it!! We all have our personal preferences and ick factor and we are allowed to do what we want with that - I think that's part of being a feminist too. I dont' like having pubic hair, but some people love having it. I like to wear make up, skirts and heels. Some girls never wear make up and only ever wear jeans and docs. I don't think one thing is more feminist than the other - I think that the fact that we can choose to do whatever we want to do and do it is feminist. As long as we're following our own personal preferences, not what someone else tells us we *should* do. So if you really don't like it and that's just your thing, I say don't feel guilty..go for it and get the laser!

It's funny, because I was never socialized to do hair removal - I've been doing it for years.. way before it got all popular, even way before my friends all did it. It started when just for the hell of it when I was in my early 20's (which was a while ago...heh) and I decided to shave myself bare. I loved the way it felt so much that I just started getting waxed on a regular basis. My mom gives me endless amounts of shit for getting full bikini waxes, she thinks is ridiculous. She's a total hair woman. She doesn't shave ANYTHING. Legs, armpits, nada. Really just about what each one of us likes.

anyhoo.. I'd do laser if I was brave enough to have a tractor beam pointed at my hoo hah
mouse
octi, lemme know what you find out about laser treatments. i'm curious about that too--though of course i feel guilty thinking about what else money like that could be spent on. waxing is expensive and shaving is a hassle (and stubble is awful) and while i do like the look and feel of a bit of pubic hair (and i hear, actually, that bush is coming back as a "fashion statement"...probably the same way bare was a backlash to the big 70's bush) i resent having to still do maintenance just to achieve what's a natural shape for *most* women.
_octinoxate
thanks for the input, zoya and mouse!

zoya, i guess for me, one of the troubles is trying to sift through what is my own personal preference, and what is about people telling me what i "should" do. you know? or, maybe better stated, *why* do i have the preferences i do? but yeah, maybe that's just gonna be a circular and pointless question, and i'd be better off just doing what i feel.

mouse, i'll definitely let you know what i find out about laser. any specific questions you can think of that i should ask them? mine right now are basically just general inquiries about safety, effectiveness, and cost, but i don't have any specific things to get info about... ? also- i *totally* hear you on disliking both wax and shaving-- my biggest problem is terrible ingrown hairs. yes, if i had the natural growth most women had, i'd just leave it the hell alone. i've been getting into porn lately, and i find that what i watch definitely impacts my perspective on sex, bodies, etc... i think that watching lots of mainstream porn with cleanshaven girls is part of what kicked my butt into gear to check out laser-- and i also think that stumbling across some darling pictures of adorable girls with all natural unshaven girlybits is part of what's making me find bush really pretty lately! (i bet i could find the site again and post it if anyone is curious-- it's so fucking cute and wholesome looking!)
mouse
octi, those are the only questions i have too. good luck!

changing the subject: tips on being slutty! i need them! i have this tentative "date" with this dude on sunday night and i'm pretty sure he just wants to get into someone's pants and i conveniently have agreed to hang out with him so i am, i suppose, the pants he is going to get into. now, i'm a sexually liberated female and all that--i like sex, i'm happy to try pretty much anything and have had a lot of pretty awesome sex in the past. however, i'm really bad at flirting and being comfortable around someone i havent' slept with yet. seriously, i can't think of anyone i've hooked up with where it didn't take like a couple of hours of deliberation and beating-around-the-bush (NO pun intended) to get me into bed. it's not that i don't want to, and once that hurdle is crossed i'm fine, but it takes me so much to get there. any tips on loosening up would be super awesome. i'm also planning on getting drunk.
sybarite
Octi, arguably whenever I talk to a potential contact and I feel I'm looking attractive and use that feeling to boost my confidence at the time, I'm playing into a traditional female 'pleasing' role, albeit to get their attention: therefore manipulative to a degree. It sounds to me like you've thought about this a lot and have weighed up how uncomfortable that hair makes you--have other people actually asked you to remove/trim it?

If you feel getting it removed would make you happier and have the money I would go for it. (Btw surely leaving the hair there to please some potential hair freak in the future is also anti-feminist, because you'd be leaving it there to please *them* smile.gif ?)

Mouse, on dates like that I never paid attention to whether or not I was flirting, not consciously anyway. The few times I tried I just became stiff and awkward. Personally I used to end up just lunging at the guy (I'm all finesse, me). Seriously--I would get a feeling I could get away with kissing him at a particular moment, then just do it. Drinking did help wink.gif . I would try and relax and genuinely enjoy yourself, but maybe have in the back of your mind the idea that you might snog him at any moment, and then see if the moment arises.

And to be fair, doesn't it usually take a few hours of deliberation (or wine-drinking) anyway? Sounds normal to me.
dayglowpink
Drinking definitely helps. I have the same problem. I absolutely hate the stage where you're not sure whether something is gonna happen, and it's all uncomfortable and tense. I got to a point a few times where I just asked the guy if he wanted to make out. It makes things much easier for me if the guy is experienced and confident and puts the moves on me, but that seems to be somewhat rare. It was also easier for me when I was hanging out with someone where sex was really the only object. I've met a couple of dudes on craigslist specifically for that purpose, and once I knew that I was attracted to them when we first met, I didn't really worry about it and just knew that we would go straight to the sex anyway. Sometimes being assertive is good, but sometimes that makes the guy feel nervous and inadequate or something, so you really have to kinda feel out what kind of person he is. Sorry I don't have any really useful advice!

Re. laser treatements. I just read an article, I think it was in Allure magazine from this month, about how laser has not lived up to all its promises for most women. I'm sure this atricle was biased to a certain extent, but they talked about how for most women laser only reduces hair growth somewhat and that most people still have to shave or wax although maybe less frequently. Also, anyone can do laser, you don't have to be a doctor or anything, so it's important to look for someone who is well trained and experienced. There are a bunch of different kinds of lasers, and some are better for certain hair types, but generally it works best for people with dark hair. That's the main stuff I remember from the article.
lux
drinking, beeing generally in desperate need for sex, feeling like your looking good. those seem to work for me. maybe a bit too well at the moment. so regretting not sleeping with the guy i was flirting on thursday. but that's what you get from trying to be monogamous. if the other person is reseptive and you know they're there for sex, shouldn't be a problem moving from flirting to fucking quickly.

hopefully the new bc will kill my sex drive.

girltrouble
day glow is somewhat right on the laser info. it's more or less permenant, dispite what the electrolysis people tell you. esp. if your hair isn't course. i have had way more laser than anyone should have to, and eventually went to electrolysis because my hair is EXTREMELY thick and course. does it hurt? oh my yes. it's like having a rubber band snapped on whatever part is being zapped, but that can be lessened by topical cremes. some places will charge you extra for it. there are different kind of machines for different hair/skin types, but most work on fair/pale skin w/ dark hair best. and go with a doctor as opposed to the place in a mall. i've been to both, the doctors are much better. there was a case of reported death years ago, but that was because of an OD on the topical cream. the girl went to a mall instead of a doctor. i would also take an aleve before hand as well. if you are more patient, or only have a small area, you may want to consider electrolysis. it's slower, but w/ small areas, or tough hair, you will save money in the long run, and i say long run because it is usually much slower. either case you will more than likely make multiple visits.
starpiste
Wanting to chime in on the laser, you should be prepared to have 6-8 treatments, 6-8 weeks apart to get about 80-90% permanent removal. A lot of the time short-term results make the hair grow in like velous hair (the invisible hair on most of your body) and not completely disappear. Make sure you're not getting IPL (it's pulsed light, not laser, and will take more treatments and more time at each one because it's not as precise). Also, ask if they do free test patches at your consultation. That way you can see how your skin reacts to the laser over the next few days. It's also a test for the tech to find the level to get the best results without side effects (hyperpigmentation - this can also be caused by medication interactions, but is usually temporary) and be prepared to wear extra sunscreen for the week after. Laser makes you extra sensitive to the sun and you will burn much easier.

(I work in a spa (reception) where we've recently introduced laser hair removal as an option to our clients, this was all the stuff we were told during our training.)
_octinoxate
thanks for the input on laser, everyone! it's really helpful to have each of your perspectives! i just got back from the consultation and i'm going to go ahead with it. (like you said, syb, the real question is what i am or am not comfortable with-- not anyone else's opinion about it.) so, tomorrow morning at 10 AM i will have a lot less hair and a lot less money than i do now wink.gif

gt, can you recommend a topical to use? when i got the patch test today it was bearable but definitely uncomfortable, and i'd love to have something to help out with that.

bust is so cool smile.gif
kelkello
Okay, anyone here successfully dated a guy with a very small penis? How do you make that work? I like him a lot, but man...
_octinoxate
Hm, how small are we talking, kel?

I once dated a guy with a small one and the sex was indeed really lame, but it was not really due to the size-- it was more about him being really unadventurous and really sort of ashamed about sex. and having no rhythm. i think all those things matter more than size does... but yeah, again, how small are we talking?
kelkello
Pretty damned small. 4 inches at BEST. Not huge in girth either. I could barely feel him. And he doesn't seem very adventurous. And it was soooooooooo quiet. Like having sex with a mime. I don't expect screams and moans, but, hell, I had to ASK if he came. I couldn't even tell. The whole experience was just awkward and bad. He's good with his hands and mouth, but everything else was just...ugh. I know it's not fair to compare, but man.
shinyx3
oh kel, i think you must really like this guy to even be asking. i have been with one man that was about 5in and personally i was not impressed. never came from intercourse with him. learned to fake it. don't think anyone should do that. he had other issues as well with function but that is neither here nor there. so, unless he is super fantastic in other was that would be a deal breaker for me.

good luck
_octinoxate
hm. as for me, i can't come from anything BUT hands/mouth, so less-than-physically-satisfying intercourse wouldn't be a deal breaker. however, it would be (or rather, it IS) pretty boring to me to be with someone super quiet/shy/conservative/awkward. i guess i look at vaginal sex not as something to make me come, but rather something to be exciting, and fun, and maybe meaningful. a good-sized dick isn't important for making that happen, but the right attitude is.

that said, first times can be awkward. maybe he'll be more comfortable soon and come out of his shell.

aren't there positions that make it feel bigger? like maybe you lying face down, legs together, with him entering from behind/top? or that preztel-y modified missionary one where you cross one leg over his opposite shoulder?
kelkello
You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm just not sure this will work. I'm going to give it another go if the opportunity presents itself, but I'm just not feeling it. He's not adventurous at all. He asked me, "So do you usually not come from intercourse?" and I replied, "Never...unless I help myself along." He was almost shocked by that. I don't know what women he dates who could have orgasms from just intercourse with a tiny penis, but maybe they a) fake it really well, or b. he found a miracle woman and never should have let her go.

I asked him before the whole sex thing about what he's into, fantasies and such. He doesn't seem very creative. And I think he likes to be dominated, which is sooo not my thing unless I'm going down on him. I'd much rather be dominated. The first thing he tried to do was pull me on top of him, which I don't even like with a guy with a huge cock, let alone his tiny thing. I hate being on top...have never been able to move properly and it hurts my knees. Trust me, I *want* to like it, but I don't. When I told him I like the leg over the shoulder thing, his question was, "Why?" Erm...because it feels good?

And I'm with you Octi...I can only come from hands, sometimes mouth. He's okay in that area, it's just that the intercourse was incredibly awful and awkward. Like I said, I might give it another go, but I can't imagine this working.
edie52
Hrm, Kel, that doesn't sound too promising. That said, the guy I'm with now, who I like a lot, was bad the first time. Maybe it wasn't him that was bad, maybe IT was just bad, or both of us. But either way, the next day I went to my friend's place, demanded she pour me a stiff drink, and then wailed "It was BAD!" I thought everything was bad- his moves, rhythm, repertoire. I guess we were both pretty shy so there was barely any touching and no oral. And he actually has a really big penis but there was no lube, and instead of using saliva he was just like "I'll go slow," and I was too shy to say anything. It hurt. And the rhythm was off. I was just like "what is he DOING?"

So, fast forward a few weeks. Almost everything is better. Naturally we've both become less shy and reserved and we've also gotten used to each others' rhythm. He's gone down on me for extended periods of time, finally. It's still not wild, kinky sex, but it's good. But there are still problems... sometimes he comes really fast, other times the penis flops when the condom comes round... but those things can be dealt with. I find it's best not to make a big deal out of either of those things, lest the problem get bigger in his mind.

But the smallness thing, yeah, I dunno. You'd think in that case he'd be used to, or at least open to, different positions and clit stimulation!
kelkello
Edie, I'm just going to take the attitude of whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. The universe is protecting me and knows what is best for me. I will be fine no matter how this pans out.
dani837
Mouse, tips on being slutty: just get drunk and everything will be easier wink.gif
wine does it for me. it gets me drunk and horny!
smarttart
"Okay, anyone here successfully dated a guy with a very small penis? How do you make that work? I like him a lot, but man..."

I actually had a GREAT experience with a really small penised man. But he was all about the foreplay and he just moved really well. And I came in an instant just cause we had such great chemistry. I never was a believer before that- but it was actually the best sex I ever had. I think it all comes down to what does it for you and what turns you on.

So, question for everyone: what do you do if your guys penis smells really bad? do you say something? I haven't experienced this in a long time, it just kinda makes me want to vomit! And I love, love love giving oral normally. He is really sweaty so I think that might have something to do with it.
LustfullyPink
You could always take a shower together as foreplay. I know that's not practical every time for every situation, but It's a quick fix for every now and then. As for a permanent solution, I think you should talk about it. Men are kind of stupid in the way of hints (as i'm sure you know) so the best way would be to just approach it head on. (Haha, no pun intended)
hellotampon
I don't see why you can't say something abut the smelly penis. Especially since there's a reason for it. Saying it smells because he just got out of his sweaty job is better than saying it just smells, period.
p_176
scent is a huge part of attraction....is it smelly because he's sweaty or because it's smelly?
candycane_girl
Eeep, I've been with like, one smelly guy. Even my current guy, if he's a bit sweaty, it smells. I mean, it only makes sense but I can understand how it's a turn off. But like everyone else said, is it always smelly or just when he's sweaty? All I could suggest is taking a sexy shower with him. tongue.gif
smarttart
I really think it's just cause he's sweaty. Because a couple of the times were fine- but them a few were so NOT. I should just say something cause he's very, very open to talking about everything. thanks guys.
starkitty
I could use a bit of advice. My boyfriend and I are trying to have sex for the first time (we're both virgins), and the key word there would be trying. It hasn't quite worked so far. The first time we couldn't get the condom on until it was too late, and the second, well. It just didn't work out logistically, so to speak. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find the right opening on my own body, but clearly it was. rolleyes.gif We're waiting a bit now before trying again, as per his request, but I'd really, really like the whole thing to work out next time, so I would appreciate any helpful advice you all have to offer.
toastybean
starkitty - it seems understandable that things havent been working out because you are probably both a bit nervous, which is no big deal. It will happen eventually. I think you may also experience some problems depending on the position you are trying. I would suggest having your boy on the bottom (i feel like even experienced guys sometimes have a bit of trouble getting it in when theyre on top)...this way you can straddle him, have him put the condom on, maybe even put some lube on yourselves (it really does help), then you can hold his penis in your hand so you have control over where it is going. then, you can lower yourself onto him as far as you feel comfortable. this way, you are in control of prettymuch everything.
edie52
I agree with toasty. The first time I had sex I had to be on top, it just wouldn't go in with him on top. It was a bit awkward because I didn't really know what to do or how to move on top (but don't worry about that, because the sex will almost definitely get better). I'm assuming that both you and he have put a finger or two inside you, and know where your vagina is. It really helps to hold your inner labia open with one hand and hold his penis near the head with your other hand, guiding him in.

Let us know what happens!
shinyx3
starkitty, i really helps to be pretty familiar with your body. take a little time and a mirror and look down there and explore. this may help when he is trying to enter you because you will have a better idea of what and how things are down there. it can all be prety complex with labia and skin and all. i also whole heartedly agree with being on top and with lube. it also may help if you help each other masterbate and get a feel for each others bodies. this may be what you have already done. anyway, good luck.
starkitty
Thanks, ladies. smile.gif I think I can manage most of that. Hopefully it'll work out better in the future. Third time's the charm, right? Lol. Now I just have to coax him into trying again...
candycane_girl
starkitty, have you done just about everything else with your boyfriend? When I lost my virginity I had hours and hours of foreplay. Kissing, touching, oral sex, the whole nine yards. By the time we actually had sex I was so relaxed (and turned on!) that my boyfriend went in just fine. Also, I think it helped that he had an orgasm earlier in the evening so that when he got hard again he wasn't ready to blow.
starkitty
Yeah, just about. We've been dating for a year and change, so...

I totally suck at hand jobs, which is sad, and so does he, actually, but I think I'll work on that later because I'm afraid he'll go all skittish again. The oral definitely helped, but not quite enough, obviously. Oh well. I'm hopeful for next time.

QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Jul 10 2007, 06:25 PM) *
starkitty, have you done just about everything else with your boyfriend? When I lost my virginity I had hours and hours of foreplay. Kissing, touching, oral sex, the whole nine yards. By the time we actually had sex I was so relaxed (and turned on!) that my boyfriend went in just fine. Also, I think it helped that he had an orgasm earlier in the evening so that when he got hard again he wasn't ready to blow.

hellotampon
I had to be on top to lose my virginity too. Up until then I always thought he would slip right inside hands-free but-- no. It was like playing legos or something. The only time it ever slips right in is if we were in the middle of having sex and it slipped out during a position change or something, then sometimes the angle is just right.

Having sex for the first time also required a lot of patience and multiple tries. The boyfriend that I lost my virginity with was a virgin as well and he had the same reaction, like he was embarassed or something. But you do need to LEARN how to have sex. It doesn't just happen.
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