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_octinoxate
Hi ladies,

I'm thinking about shaving my girly bits for the first time ever. I was looking for the thread about shaving, but it seems to have disappeared. Can someone who knows how to find it please bump it-? Or, could someone tell me about the Seiko Cleancut that I remember busties raving about? I know there is NO WAY I'm going through with shaving if I have to use a manual razor--I'd cut myself up (OUCH!) and get terrible irritation. Is an electric shaver easier on the skin/ less likely to give you ingrowns?

Thanks.
crinoline
found it.
fiddlegirl
hi all.

i'm not entirely new here, but this is my first post. just reading through all the posts and also the oral sex thread makes me feel all sexy. yay!

i have two questions.

i'll be spending a few romantic days very soon with the new man and it'll be the first time we'll have sex together. we've made out a few times but haven't actually gone the whole way. we're both into the idea of using toys and i asked him if he's ever used a cockring, which he hasn't. i'm going to a sex shop tomorrow to stock up my toy box and i want to get him a cockring. now, he's hairy down there and i'm wondering what sort of material (rubber, metal, leather) i should go for that won't hurt him by pulling his hair (i like him hairy, so shaving isn't really an option). any suggestions?

i'm also wondering whether some of you girls here can give me tips on good positions. his penis length is average, but he's got quite a lot of girth. maybe as much as my wrist. and certainly the most girth i've ever had to deal with so far. i think he'll fit just fine, but have any of you had 'success' with guys with thicker dicks in particular positions? i'd be curious to know.

thanks.
kdiddy
I'm really sorry to bust in here without any shaving related help.

I just had someone tell me tonight that I have self esteem issues because I get turned on when I know the person I am with is aroused.

Yeah.

I'm aroused because I know someone wants to have sex with me because they're attracted to me = I have self esteem issues.

Please someone else tell me this is one of the stupidest things they've heard.

The Artist Formerly Known as Kundi
_octinoxate
Kdiddy, I agree-- that is ridiculous. Sex partner's arousal = HOT.

crin, thanks for the bump!

sorry, fiddle, no advice here...
kdiddy
Thank you. Sometimes it's just nice to be validated.
culturehandy
Fiddle, if he's girthy, any position is going to hurt, at first. I'd say just take it slow. I have fucked men with some girth, and I preferred doggie, it allows for the sex to start slow.

kdiddy, whoever told you that is a moron. How could you possibly have self esteem issues if you enjoy it when your partner gets turned on and aroused?

candycane_girl
kdiddy, I agree with what everyone else said.

Fiddle, as for the girthy guy I have actually the complete opposite experience of CH. I find that when I do it doggie style I feel the girth far more than if I'm just in missionary.
kdiddy
It really didn't make much sense at all and it made me feel pretty darn awful for anyone that person has every had sex with.
fiddlegirl
thanks for the replies. it'll be try, test and find out. doggie style is one of his favourite positions... hhmmmm, either way i'm looking forward to it.
culturehandy
I do also agree with candycane, that missionary is good for girthy men. I'm just not a fan of the position. My douche bag ex preferred it. It was also the *only* way he could cum. So needless to say, I'm done with it for a while. A lone while.
LustfullyPink
I've got exactly the opposite problem of fiddlegirl. My current BF has a penis on the small side. It doesn't bug me at all because he knows how to use it and is good with his hands, but i'd kind of like to feel it a bit more.

Any suggestions?
culturehandy
Doggie is my swear by all position.

Lustfully, what about you lying on your back with your legs on his shoulders? Or same thing, but him off the bed with your legs up against his chest and you artially on the bed? Or one leg up on one of his shoulders?
candycane_girl
Lustfully, I'd go with what CH said for this one. I find that when my legs are up around a guy's shoulders I feel him a lot more.
LustfullyPink
Thanks ^^ I'll make sure to try all that smile.gif
p_176
what the fuck is up with those pictures?? i have not seen those in 15 years, when it was the accepted propaganda.....take your 'piousness' elsewhere....

sorry.
end rant.
candycane_girl
p_176 just stick him on ignore! I'm so sick of these stupid pictures, it's like the same 5 ones over and over again. Get some variety!
princess_dander
Hey everyone!

I need some help with my orgasms. For about the past month they have been dull and weak. I thought that it was just because I was in a rut, broke up with someone, felt sad ect ect. But this week I have a new crush and have plenty of reason to jill off, but everytime I do, I fell blah when it cum. It is like half of my clit lost sensation and the past that still works is dull dull dull!

I'm really freaking out that I am losing my ability to orgasm and that I will never have bed crashing orgasms again. I'm not on any anti depressants, went to my doc and got bloodwork done and it is all normal. I can't think of what else is wrong.

* yikes* sad.gif
auralpoison
Have you just considered that it might be psychological? You say you just got out of a 'ship. Stress can impeed that vital search for the nut. You got used to being dickmatized by one dick that doesn't always satisfy you.

I don't think we ever lose the ability to orgasm. I just think that our collective cultural ADD makes us want it all right now. Sometimes I have minor orgasms, sometimes they make me weak in the knees. All that I care is that I get off, big or small. If I have to rub one out post-coitally, I will.

Why don't you give it some time? Set a limit for when you wank next & stick to it. No Seinfeld pussies allowed.
opheliathemuse
princess dander, I had major issues with orgasming my whole last relationship. It wasn't him, I don't think, I'm pretty sure it was just the stress during that time frame. I've started to get my mojo back now that things are working out a little. Just sort of give it some time. It'll work out. =)
princess_dander
Well I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago and it wasn't a huge breakup type drama deal that made me lose my grip on life. (I have had break ups like those and I didn't get off for weeks because I didn't feel like it.)

My deal is that I can get off, but it just sucks when I do. Stress can impact orgasms, but that has never been my experience in the past. I have had great orgasms when I was sad, stressed, ect..

I am wondering if my bike riding could be part of the dull sensation I am getting. I am looking for a new lady parts friendly bike saddle ASAP because I have heard of such a thing happening, but never experienced it myself...until now maybe?

AP-I am definitely a want it now kind of gal with orgasms. I am longing for the feeling of never wanting to cum because it feels so nice. Maybe this is a multifactorial issue.

Thanks so much for the great advice!


auralpoison
OMG! Am I a lame-ass, no class breeder or what? A thousand pardons for assuming your ex was male, PD.

I don't mind drawing it out sometimes, but . . . I gots shit to do, yo. Get in, get off, get out.

I've heard about the bike thing before, too. You might be sacrificing orgasms for the sake of clean, efficient transportation!
princess_dander
Oh you breeders!

Yeah when I masturbated at inappropriate times (bored during class, bored during work, bored in public) I would go to the bathroom and rub one out, but I had to be quick about it.

The only time I had not had control over how and when I came is when I was on meds for depression. This is kinda like being on SSRI's, only I can cum, it just used to be better.

I'm really thinking it is a saddle issue now!
stargazer
princess, you should definitely use masturbation as a way to figure out about your body and orgasms. it could be the bike. but, it sounds part psychological. i think AP was right about putting some parameters around it. do you use a vibrator? that could lessen the intensity of your orgasms. laying off the vibe is a good thing at times. your clit can get its normal sensation back. there are lots of things you can do to get back that lovin' feelin.' plus, i would stick to just clit stimulation for orgasm. get in touch with other sensations as well to heighten arousal.
opheliathemuse
getting very impatient for portions but also want to maintain very steep standards. this is perilously similar to my need for either very fine food or breaking down and eating the chips from drugstore because, well, they're salty and fatty and they're readily available and consequent self disgust.

Blergh.
anarch
this is perilously similar to my need for either very fine food or breaking down and eating the chips from drugstore

what a terrific analogy. "meh" sex, is it worth it once you're tired of having it but are also tired of flying solo?

Coincidentally, I came in here to post this thread on odd sex toys. Don't miss the Jesus Jackhammer (it's linked in one of the comments, scroll down to 3:38 pm).
opheliathemuse
teehee, why thank you.

The Jesus Jackhammer? wha....


I wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt portions. Damnit.

I made do with mediocre food because refuse to have mediocre sex and food was readily available and feeling morbidly about ability to obtain executive cock at this stage in existence.
dayglowpink
I want to recommend a book to princess_dander and anyone else who is having difficulties with orgasm. I happened across it at the bookstore, and it has been helpful for me- it's called "The Elusive Orgasm." I can't remember the author. It's for women who can't orgasm, have stopped orgasming, sometimes can't, have less intense orgasms than before, etc. The author talks about a lot of different things that can be related and gives some good suggestions for changing things. My boy and I both read parts of it, and although we aren't doing the whole very involved program she suggests, we have taken some stuff from it, and things have definitely improved for me being able to come more easily with him. The main thing that really helped me from the book was the idea that having difficulty with orgasm has to do with not getting aroused enough and that there are various things that can prevent us from allowing ourselves to get turned on. I hadn't really thought of it that way, but once I did, I was able to recognize things that I was doing without even realizing it that were affecting me. I think previously I kept thinking that we were doing everything right but I just had a problem or something, and that was not helpful. Anyway, just thought I would throw that out there for anyone who's interested!
opheliathemuse
aieeee. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed portions.....auiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis
oghasgskjhghf
Writing has never been this difficult. CANNOT CONCENTRATE.

ps dayglow, interesting read.
mollychan
i haven't posted these boards in YEARS (literally), but i'm back in style. so what better place to start than the sex thread? yessss.

i have an odd and embarrassing question: what do you find is the best way to let a guy know you're on your period without grossing him out and/or scaring him away? i've just barely started dating a guy and i think sex is in order pretty damn soon, but i'm due for my period this weekend and i'm sure fate will mis-align all my perfect plans.

i don't know why, but i never feel comfortable just coming out and saying it, but i've found that trying to say it delicately ("don't go down there", "this is a bad TIME") never quite works either.

maybe this should be in the body thread too, but i'm starting here.
hellotampon
I want to get a masturbation sleeve for my boyfriend for Christmas, and I need it to be sturdy. We had a cock ring a couple years ago that I'm pretty sure was made out of jelly rubber, and it broke in half after only a few uses. Then last summer he bought a sleeve (I think it was also jelly rubber, or maybe it was cyberskin? I like hard plastic vibes, so I'm not good at this stuff) from a sex toy store on vacation and that tore really quickly too.

I'm looking on Babeland right now. The "Maven" is made out of elastomer. I have no idea what elastomer feels like or how sturdy it is, but it seems easy to clean. It got one detailed bad customer review and one really inarticulate good review.

The "Maverick" is also made out of elastomer and it got several glowing reviews, but it's cheaper (?) so maybe it falls apart more quickly.

The "Monkey Spanker" is like a paddle, and the part that you put your penis in is silicone. But you have to stroke it up and down using the handle, which I'm not sure if he would like. However, it doubles as a paddle, which he would like to use on me.

Those are the 3 I have narrowed it down to. I need advice! I don't live anywhere near a sex store, so I can't go to one and ask questions.
lunia666
I have kind of a silly ?
When I have sex I release a lot of fluid and I mean a lot ( change the sheets a lot) I have always felt it normal but then I got to thinking maybe it's not normal?
opheliathemuse
lunia, you're lucky. Means you're ejaculating.

I am sweeping the threads forlornly hoping for the gods to give me portions. Wah. Kind of sad I'm the most regular poster and I don't get any...


Molly, depends on how this guy is. Some guys are very whatever about bodily functions, but I believe that honesty is the best policy. I mean, you don't want him to get a complex. Just let him know that unless he's into period sex, it might not be the best time. He might be up for that, you never know. Great for cramps.
candycane_girl
Molly, I've found it best to just be up front. A simple "oh, I'm on my period" should suffice.

Lunia, you're a squirter! I've started squirting too recently and I can't get over how wet my sheets end up. It had only happened about two times but then with the guy I've slept with lately he somehow makes me squirt every time.
stargazer
hellotampon, a masturbation sleeve? that sounds cool. sorry, i don't have advice, but i'll check out the site to help ya, if not for my own curiosity alone.

ophelia, well, i think i'm right up there with you. i'm the most frequent lurker without any play and no prospects. boo.


ETA: after further inspection, hellotampon...i think the maverick sounds awesome. and it seems like 2 for the price of 1 deal. meaning, he could turn it inside out and use it with you during intercourse. hey, i'm a virgo and i'm all about multitasking... wink.gif
humanist77
Molly, a simple "sorry, I'm bleeding" will do. I think some guys are squirmish about the word "period" or "menstruating", because of sex-ed. Bleeding is less...medical? because technically, everyone bleeds at some point.

helloT, I've ordered from babeland before, and they are more than happy to give you advice if you just email them. They seem to be honest more than just trying to sell you something.
candycane_girl
Does anyone know of a good online store that sells floggers? I really want to get one but I feel like none of the mainstream sex stores have much selection. I know there are a few leather stores in the gay area near me but I'm not even sure where to start. Does anyone here happen to be familiar with the gay leather stores in Toronto?
hellotampon
QUOTE(stargazer @ Dec 8 2007, 04:00 PM) *
ETA: after further inspection, hellotampon...i think the maverick sounds awesome. and it seems like 2 for the price of 1 deal. meaning, he could turn it inside out and use it with you during intercourse. hey, i'm a virgo and i'm all about multitasking... wink.gif


Yeah that's the one I ended up getting wink.gif

and humanist, I've ordered from them before too, but I didn't want to wait around any extra days to email, since it's pretty close to xmas already.
mollychan
thanks for the advice, ladies!

yeah, i don't know why i turn into such a 13-year-old about it, i should be able to come out and say it and not care. i guess i'm always afraid of killing the mood. luckily, fate was on my side this time as i didn't get my period as soon as i thought so there were no awkward conversations, just sex. perrrrrfect.
kaylafresh
MollyChan,
Girl, I have been there. To me, I just say it and let them decide. My last boyfriend was so cool about it that now to be with other guys, it makes me look down on them if they are not cool with it. After all, aren't we more horny then? But you expect me to sit this one out 'cause of a little blood? NO WAY. I always make sure I'm the one to take the condom off so they don't have to look at it (squismish boys) and then suggest a nice hot shower together after. Believe me, he'll go for it. Who wants to not have sex one week out of the month?
culturehandy
I always just let the man know that I'm on my period, it is just blood.

The cop was cool about it when I fucked him and I had my period, I told him that I hardly bled, so if he wanted to put a towel down or whatever he could. He was more upset that he couldn't go down on me.


Candycane, I cannot think of any place that sells floggers, ummm, I know a store here, discrete boutique, has an online page, and they do have a wide selection of floggers and fetish gear in store. They also have a really great links page.

Oooooh squirty! I heart squirting. It only happens when I'm on top though, but then it gets everywhere messy, and I love it!
dj-bizmonkey
what do they call it? sailing the crimson seas, i think that's it, i mean, that's what my guy friends call it when they go down on a girl when she's on her period. it makes me chuckle.

i've had the whole gambit of guys on this issue. when i was living in suriname it was a big no-no. (these are the same guys that don't eat pussy, mind you.) a woman on her period is considered, evil, possessed by spirits. you can't go near a man, touch him, serve him food, NOTHING to do with him while you're on your period. the custom is so strict that women have to go live in a special hut during their period away from the rest of the village. as foreign field-workers there, we had to make a special deal with the local conservation organization that we wouldn't go into the forest on the heavy days of our period or bathe in the river, for fear of tainting it with our evil-ness. it's pretty wild, but since it isn't that inconvenient to take a bucket shower one or two days a month, i tried to be a cultural relativist on this issue. my surinamese boyfriend was always paranoid that it was getting close to that time and would constantly ask me when it was going to happen next. i used the same argument on him that i did when talking about cunnilingus: you know the stuff that comes out of a woman is the same stuff that nourished you while you were in the womb, right?

it's a total non-issue now, because i take the 365 day bc and i love love love it! i haven't had a period in about two years and i have no intention of starting any time soon. i know some women are uncomfortable with it, but after a lot of research and questions to physicians, i've found that it is perfectly healthy.

i experienced female ejaculation for the first time this year and it was fantastico! it's definitely not anything to be embarrassed about. one of my best friend almost always ejaculates, especially when masturbating and she calls it 'the flood.' as in, me and the man were going at it last night and you wouldn't believe the size of the flood!
edie52
I wanna ejaculate, too!
culturehandy
I remember one time I squirted so hard, my partner and I heard it.

then there was the time that I was riding a guy and I came and it ran over us and got two couch cushions super wet. It was great.

DJ, the customs surrounds menstruation are interesting! I remember studying that in university!
dj-bizmonkey
culture, i think it is rooted in africa originally, but the whole fear of cunnilingus seems to be an afro-caribbean thing. their loss i suppose......it's funny, because among my american guy friends, going down on a girl is a rite of passage, whereas for the surinamese, it makes you less of a man for whatever reason. go figure.

i've heard the slur before, 'i don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.' it makes me want to vomit. it must spring from the male jealousy over their incapability to produce and nourish life.

edie, i hope you can experience the miracle of 'the flood.' it is so fantastic!
glassk
ah, ch, i think your cop could've gone down on you anyways, blood or not.


my last one did, once or twice, and it was fantastic. i thought it was super hot that he just volunteered to do something i wouldn't have thought of.... eeee!
culturehandy
Glassk, that's totally true, but I don't want him to do anything that he's not comfortable with. Granted I hardly bleed when I get my period these days, but each man is different. I had a former partner go down on my when I was just finishing, he didn't mind at all.

DJ, I do recall reading something about menstruation and some sort of social isolation as being an african phenomenon. It's also interesting that in some cultures, when a woman is menopausal, she is still considered a woman, but a different kind of women, it has to do with more than one gender, so post menopausal women can go into places where only men can go. I thought that was really cool. I know so many men who love eating pussy, including a friend of mine from Trinidad, he loves to do it.



dj-bizmonkey
there are exceptions to every rule, and i had at least two surinamese experiences with cunnilingus that were more than satisfactory. now that i think about it though, there is that book that came out a few years back called 'the red tent,' about women in biblical times. the title refers to the tent that ancient jewish women had to live in during their period. i think the isolation factor still exists for orthodox jews. they have to take a ritual bath, a mikvah (sp?) after their period in order to cleanse themselves each month. it's also part why orthodox and hacidic men are forbidden to touch any woman except for their wife: they have no idea whether or not she is menstruating and may soil themselves by touching her. that's cool about the menopause thing, i'd never heard of that. like i said, there are some issues where i'm okay with being a cultural relativist, i.e. not touching those kinds of men when i'm on my period, and other issues that are unacceptable regardless of the culture, as in FGM (among many others)

yeah, it's nice when they volunteer to go down regardless of your menstrual status, but i would never be pissed a guy for not wanting to. i know it's not exactly the same thing, but i wouldn't be excited about licking some one's open wound. yeah, it's just blood, but i wouldn't be angry and my SO not wanting to consume it. having sex on the other hand, i mean, come on, it washes right off, refusing to have sex might make me a bit more irked. then again, you never want to make your partner feel too uncomfortable.
mollychan
whoa, i'm glad i prompted such discussion about period sex. it's lucky that so many of you have partners who are cool about it... i hope this guy turns out to be just as cool. because - kaylafresh, you're totally right - i'm certainly not less horny just because i'm bleeding. hell no.
tesao
women being considered "unclean" during menstruation is common in many societies – among them african, sri lanka, bangladeshi (muslim, i suspect that this is true for all muslim cultures, not just that in bangladesh). the same sort of "banning" from many activities applies: food preparation, sex, participation in prayers at the mosque…..among many others.

that said, there are a lot of men out there who say that they eschew sex during this "period", but who actually engage in it, both orally and vaginally.

i've always thought that it was amazingly HOT for anyone to go down on me during my moontime. just thinking about it makes me wet. i'm with culture and many of the rest of you on this one, though – i'm not interested in forcing anyone to do something that makes them uncomfortable – unless, of course, being a mistress is part and parcel of the sexual encounter. laugh.gif

speaking of which, flogs can be purchased on-line at a number of places. if you are new to flogging, i'd recommend www.goodvibes.com – they have 2 very nice black leather ones that aren't all that expensive. for any more details about this topic, meet me over in the bdsm thread!
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