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deschatsrouge
I didn't stay at that party for long.
tesao
ap, that sounds SO good! where does one purchase a pump?

ETA: the film sounds fascinating, ap. can it be rented? (not that i am likely to find it anywhere here even for purchase, but what the hey. maybe next time i'm in the usa or something.)

i used to have a friend whose dog was totally into her. she said that he started things, no help from her other than not stopping him. it started by him (he was a boxer) licking her breasts. that turned her on, she got wet and i assume he could smell that, so he started licking her britney (ap, I ADORE YOU!!!).

you can't talk to an animal, but you CAN communicate.

this is not something that i have ever done. (well, the dolfin doesn't count) it doesn't arouse me. i don't denigrate my friend for what she did with her dog, though. i don't believe it was against his will. kink is just kink. who am i to talk? i have mine - many of them... and i'm sure that others wouldn't approve of mine at all.
mouse
not that i really want to keep this subject alive and kicking, but dan savage (oh, how i love him) actually tackled the issue a few columns back (here). i'm actually surprised with what he said, and there are quite a few responses from other people as well if you scroll all the way down the page, but he makes the salient point that there is quite a large difference between dog-on-man and man-on-dog.

i don't approve of your friend's kink, tes (and i think it's unfair to compare bestiality or pedophilia to other so-called "taboo" kinks as the main issue is consent, and unless one's getting one's rocks off by raping people unawares or whatnot, even the most hardcore sadist understands that at the very very bottom level, there is consent--even if it is consent to not give consent, if that makes any sense) but there's a large difference between acting upon, and being acted upon.
tesao
i haven't read the dan savage link, yet, mouse, but i will (i agree, he's pretty great)

i apologize if it sounded like i was comparing pedophilia or rape or other non-consent kinks to any other. i'm against non-consent and i agree with your summary of sadists knowing that consent is involved at the very bottom level. most bottoms would even agree that they are the ones that are really in control.

all of that said, i stand by my saying that the dog (in this case) was doing the acting on. i don't have to like it, but i can't say that i find it against his will. if my friend did something TO HIM, i'd be against it.

eta: have now read the savage piece. it's an interesting response. the "responses" are interesting as well. i don't quite follow the little tommy comparison, though -- i don't find the situations analogous. if little tommy did the rubbing of his own woody, instead of uncle bob, there isn't an issue. the problem here is one of consent. is little tommy able to consent? ever? what about with little susie?

if two people with lower "IQs" fall in love and decide to have sex, is that all right? or is that morally irrehensible?

i guess it gets back to what one of the reader responses mentioned - the power imbalance. whenever there is that power imbalance and it is misused, there is the strong likelihood that someone or something is being hurt. i think that there are exceptions to that rule, but that may just be splitting hairs. the plushie suggestion was the most interesting response to me.....more feasible for the average person with an average income than a Real Dog, for sure.
mouse
absolutely agreed that there is a difference with something being done against the animal's will, and something that the animal initiates. it could be considered a grey area but i still don't think it's a road that should be trod regardless.

you do make a really interesting point with the "IQ" issue. my mother works in a school that is part of a living community of people with special needs, and it's an issue that they have to deal with very delicately--to try to help the adults live a fulfilling life in as normal a way possible, but to also protect them from getting hurt, pregnant or simply confused.

but yes, ultimately it comes down to abuse of power, integrity and respect.
auralpoison
*triple posties*
auralpoison
*triple posties*
auralpoison
"Zoo" will be on Showtime early Sunday morning here in the US.

So, we went for it on Sunday. The full pumping monty, if you will. It was . . . interesting. Not only in the physical, but in the mental. In an odd way, I kinda understood what it might feel like to be a man. To be reminded with every movement that I have exposed genitals.
tesao
ap, could you please post more information about what type of pump you recommend and where you think it best to purchase one? i'm more than intrigued!

mouse, the IQ question is a toughie, isn't it? mr. hotbuns has cousins that have special needs, although they live alone (together). they have a housekeeper who looks in on them daily, which they clearly need, but they are pretty darn capable. their guardian had a FIT when she found a soft porn video in their house. i really thought that was narrow minded of her; they have special needs, yes, but they also have NORMAL needs as well. their guardian thinks i am too liberal.

one of them has a girlfriend who also has special needs. i don't have a problem with this, i don't really think that it is my business. i did tell them (the brothers, not the girlfriend) about the need for condoms.
auralpoison
I think he got it all from some medical kink site online, but I'm not sure. Extreme Restraints, maybe? I'll have to ask. He bought pretty high end stuff from what I can tell. The boobie things were specially designed, the clitty thing was silicone instead of hard plastic. The other accessory was hard plastic about 3 x 4. He had to shift it around a bit & use a goodly amount of lube to get a tight seal.

I'll have to ask him tomorrow.
Miss Deena
My preferences aside and law aside. I have a hard time saying that someone who has a medical or mental condition doesn't deserve the right to have feelings sexual or not just because the have a disability. And I guess one would argue if they have feelings are they the same as a normal range of feelings. But really who are we to judge if feelings are strong enough for sexual encounters.

I have a question on the suction device. After the area gets ingorged do/did you find that it had a lasting effect. Like days later?
auralpoison
Like I said, it was a couple hours before it went down completely. Although I have heard of some extreme bod mod people frequently pumping so that it has more permanent effects.
Miss Deena
That is kinda what i was wondering about. I really don't want to have a 3 inch clit for very long...lol But I am very curious about the sensations.
Miss Deena
double post
konphusion26
deleted
gogosgirl
lovely busties --

I write to you from the land of aloha with confusion. I just started having sex again after a very long dry spell (almost 2 years -- gah) and have two things to say. first of all, I definitely broke the seal and now just want to get laid *all the time* which is alarming as I thought I was over that slut stage back in my 20s. now I feel all margaret cho -- "fuck my way across the usa" and "where's my parade?" since I don't actually have a boyfriend I've been locating various partners and am being smart latex-wise but not in any other way. is this normal? I'm kind of feeling like guys won't like me personally but I know they'll sleep with me, so I'll just take what I can get. I'm actually out hooking up with strangers on craigslist...jeezus. so anyway, part two of my post is this: where did all the pubic hair go? it's creepy to me that most men out there are totally shaved now. they're smoother than I am (but I don't shave all the way, either) and the lack of pubes in my partner makes me feel like a pedophile. I feel like I'm giving head to a prepubescent!
shinyx3
gogos, i totally agree. i like pubes neat and trimmed on a guy but not all the way gone. seems odd and unnatural. But I frequently am totally clean shaven myself.
edie52
Maybe it's the kind of guys I date, but I've never seen that. And I don't want to.
culturehandy
I've been with all sorts.

trimmed is fine, but I really don't like ball hair, and keep it short around the cock, at least do something with it. I don't want to feel like I'm flossing my teeth.
epinephrine
I need some advice from the dirty talkin' ladies. My girlfriend is a freaky little pornstar and loves dirty talk, but when she asks me to do it I feel all on-the-spot and I either get shy or can't think of anything to say, and I end up saying something cliché and lame and I feel stupid. She doesn't complain, but I want this to come more naturally and be something that turns me on, too. I just need some advice to help me relax and get in the mood to verbalize all the nasty things I'm going to do to her. Tips? Resources? Anyone?

Thanks!
culturehandy
Okay, I suppose the first question is what exactly does she say to you? You could further things from what she is saying.
edie52
Epinephrine, if you're shy maybe start with writing her some dirty emails or text messages? That way you won't choke up or go blank. Then maybe the words will be easier to say next time, and you'll have some material. Or next time you're fantasizing or masturbating, think about what she says to you and what you would like to say. Then you can practice saying it out loud to yourself... and if you're really riled up it won't seem as silly as practicing to yourself while you're chopping vegetables or something.

But don't overthink it too much! Just blurt something out- what you'd like to do to her, what makes you hot... I'm sure she'll like it.
roseviolet
[/lurk]

Epinephrine, in my opinion, the stereotypical stuff really isn't bad. It can be really good, actually. What makes it hot is the person saying it. wink.gif

[lurk]
zoya
ephinephrine - I feel goofy too with the dirty talk... the best advice I've ever gotten is to just tell the other person what you'd like to do to them. In graphic terms. That always works (ie: "i'd like to______ you in the ________ with my _______" or "I want to________your _________ with_______") I find that is pretty concrete and I don't feel so goofy.

starshine
QUOTE(zoya @ Apr 19 2008, 10:26 AM) *
ephinephrine - I feel goofy too with the dirty talk... the best advice I've ever gotten is to just tell the other person what you'd like to do to them. In graphic terms. That always works (ie: "i'd like to______ you in the ________ with my _______" or "I want to________your _________ with_______") I find that is pretty concrete and I don't feel so goofy.



That's always worked the best for me. And the icing on the cake is that it's given my partner and I many excellent ideas, and a way to communicate them before we try them. It's like a little ice breaker.

Good luck ephinephrine!
edie52
It's like dirty mad libs!
deepthinker
I'll be honest, I really don't feel I belong here, and after this you probably won't see me here very much. I am a 20 year old virgin guy, who came across this site looking for a sex related board that could help me with this issue I'm dealing with. Unsure of what else I would find, I decided this place would be as good as any to get this addressed, so I joined hoping you gals might be able to help. So with all that said....here's the problem:

For some time, I have had this feeling that male/female sex is something weird or unusual. I don't know why this is, though I do have a couple of theories. I think part of it may have to do with the fact that I have not experienced it in the physical, so I don't know what it's like. Second, it might be that because I have been looking at porn for so long (about 10-11 years now), focusing more on girls only type stuff (never could get into stuff with guys and girls together), that a man and woman having sex seems foreign, because I'm not used to seeing that. That's about the only things I could think of that might account for this. Can you ladies help me out here? Is this normal? Have any of you ever felt this way before?
culturehandy
welcome deepthinker.

I am curious as to what your parents attitude was towards sex. That has a huge impact on who we become as sexual beings. the same thing goes with masturbation, if one is brought up to be told that masturbation is wrong and dirty, they won't do it. It's the same with sex (obviously CH! that is sexuality...anyways...) If your parents didn't talk about sex, then, in my opinion, you may view sex as something foreign.

The porn element, I think may have to do with the lack of sexuality being discussed in your household, if this was in fact how things were.

Or you could be one of the very small percentage of the population who is asexual, but if you look at porn then I don't think so.

You may find my question asking too personal, but do you get aroused from porn?
auralpoison
Wow. Porn has gotten you so conditioned that sex is between two females only? That sucks. I dunno what to tell you. Most women aren't interested in hardcore porn (Espcially at such a young age, thanks internet.), even the lesbians. Lesbian sex isn't even what most of those girl on girl sites provide anyway. They're generally *performing* lesbian sex the way MEN *think* it is. Regular porn is pretty much the same way. Yes, they really are having sex, but it's a brand of rather extreme, cartoon-y, exaggerated faux sex.

You need to ease up on the porn. Ween yourself. Seriously. And for chrissakes, if you *have* to have it, then switch it up, man. There's a whole wide world of perversion you're missing out on! Also, never forget that the sexiest part of the body is the brain. If you have the privacy, set aside a block of time & masturbate without the useage of porn. Just you, your dick, & some lube. Work without a net!

Me? If all else fails, I say just pretend you are a lesbian. Roleplay can be fun!

There is a porn thread in The F Word just so you know.
culturehandy
I never even thought about kink, AP!

But certainly porn conditioning a person, absolutely.

Just as a side, this is why I dont engage in SM play all the time, because there was a time when I was so conditioned to having an orgasm under such extreme conditions, I was worried about not being able to have an orgasm with a partner who wasn't into the same level of play I was into. With that said, i was able to take things down a notch. Just get in tune with your body, free your mind and see where it goes.
deepthinker
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Apr 19 2008, 09:41 PM) *
welcome deepthinker.

I am curious as to what your parents attitude was towards sex. That has a huge impact on who we become as sexual beings. the same thing goes with masturbation, if one is brought up to be told that masturbation is wrong and dirty, they won't do it. It's the same with sex (obviously CH! that is sexuality...anyways...) If your parents didn't talk about sex, then, in my opinion, you may view sex as something foreign.

The porn element, I think may have to do with the lack of sexuality being discussed in your household, if this was in fact how things were.

Or you could be one of the very small percentage of the population who is asexual, but if you look at porn then I don't think so.

You may find my question asking too personal, but do you get aroused from porn?


Never have talked about it much with my mom's side. I don't communicate with my family a whole lot honestly, spend a lot of time by myself in my room when home, always kind of have been that way as an only child. Don't really get along with my mom or grandma very well, don't feel they understand me, and think they baby me. And then when we do talk, a lot of times we end up fighting.

On my dad's side, they are more strict. They're Catholic (as was I for last 5 years or so, till last year), though I never really did talk about sex much with them, and even hid my porn issue from them for many years. Then when I did sort of open up, they made it seem like it was so easy to overcome. Like my dad would say: "You know it's wrong right?", and that would be it. I don't talk with them about it now either, sort of feel outcast by them now, since leaving "the one true church" in their minds.

As for getting aroused by porn, well yes and no if that makes sense. It used to be that images of a woman's body would turn me on a lot, but now it's not so much. Takes something more now, more extreme. One of the things that really turns me on now, and always has has been women fighting be it erotically or aggressively. There's other stuff too, in particular, the sounds a woman makes when she's having sex or masturbating, and squirting. So it does and it doesn't I guess you could say.
culturehandy
I absolutely think that the lack of communication led you to look at porn. A lot. There may be a part of you that equals sexuality with shame, given that your father said it was wrong. Gaaa.

there is nothing wrong with sex between consenting adults. Since your parents didn't talk to you about sex, it led you to seek a safe haven that would allow you to seek out that which made curious without the fear of being judged.

I think the first thing you need to know is that sex is normal. Not every woman looks like a porn star, which you have already acknowledged. I think you also need to turn off the computer, and now I ask you, do you think this is an addiction issue? Do you HAVE to look at porn, is it the only thing that make you aroused? the extreme, I'd say goes with the territoy (you can see my last post about that).
deepthinker
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Apr 19 2008, 10:16 PM) *
I think the first thing you need to know is that sex is normal. Not every woman looks like a porn star, which you have already acknowledged. I think you also need to turn off the computer, and now I ask you, do you think this is an addiction issue? Do you HAVE to look at porn, is it the only thing that make you aroused? the extreme, I'd say goes with the territoy (you can see my last post about that). [/color]


Well I will say this, there's not a day that goes by that I don't engage in it some way, or at the very least think about it if I don't have access to it. Many times, I'll spend hours at a time, using the stuff, spanning several masturbation sessions in the process.
auralpoison
Dude, that so answered the question without answering the question. I'm gonna ask again anyways.

Do real women not stir your loins? Or is it only porn now? If your car was dirty & you saw a bikini car wash would you stop or would you go directly home & type "porn bikini carwash" into a search engine?

I know the last time I caught HB washing his truck in only a pair of cargo shorts & he was slippery & muscle-y & his pants were kind wet & clinging & . . . I need to get laid!
deepthinker
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Apr 19 2008, 11:03 PM) *
Dude, that so answered the question without answering the question. I'm gonna ask again anyways.

Do real women not stir your loins? Or is it only porn now? If your car was dirty & you saw a bikini car wash would you stop or would you go directly home & type "porn bikini carwash" into a search engine?

I know the last time I caught HB washing his truck in only a pair of cargo shorts & he was slippery & muscle-y & his pants were kind wet & clinging & . . . I need to get laid!


I never really have thought about it, though I suppose it's the latter. Not to say I don't notice some women in school, as I do at times if they are showing themselves so to speak. But a lot of times the stuff is still on my mind even at school. Heck there's been times where I've engaged in some of this even there, though for the most part just by way of emailing a couple about his wife's fights.
obelix2
Oh my gawd. I am going to steal all of my boy's shirts, hack off the legs of a pair of his cargo pants, and tell him that his car is filthy. I totally want to watch him spraying the hose with his shirt off. Thanks for the brain candy, AP.
auralpoison
Have you experienced any of the porn addicts boards? I'm no doctor, but from what you've told us it seems pretty clear you have an addiction. If it interferes with your daily life, it's a problem. I pulled this off of Wiki:

Porn addict characteristics/symptoms

"*Recurrent failure to resist impulses to engage in a specified behavior
*Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to initiating the behavior
*Pleasure or relief at the time of engaging in the behavior

At least five of the following:

*Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior
*Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended
*Repeated efforts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior
*A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects
*Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations
*Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior
*Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior
*Tolerance: need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behavior of the same intensity
*Restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior
*Some symptoms of the disturbance have persisted for at least one month, or have occurred repeatedly over a longer period of time

These criteria can be applied to almost any behavior, and would seem to characterize an excessive and uncontrollable involvement regardless of the particular behavior. They thus provide one possible definition of pornography addiction."

So real women. I have questions. You said you are a virgin. Have you had *any* consensual sexual contact with a woman one on one? Kissing, petting, that kind of stuff? Or were girls something you avoided? How do you interact with others (not just women) socially?

Also, you said you notice the ones that are "showing themselves"? I don't know what "showing themselves" means. Meaning they look provocative like the women in porn? Big hair, too much make-up, & scantily clad? Somebody dressed out of KMart's junior's dept.?

ETA: Obelix, I went to get a glass of water, looked out the kitchen window & fuuuuuck meeeee. It was just so masculine, him washing his truck. The way he moved, the play of muscle beneath warm skin . . . I was tempted to rub one out right there in the kitchen!
deepthinker
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Apr 20 2008, 12:39 AM) *
So real women. I have questions. You said you are a virgin. Have you had *any* consensual sexual contact with a woman one on one? Kissing, petting, that kind of stuff? Or were girls something you avoided? How do you interact with others (not just women) socially?

Also, you said you notice the ones that are "showing themselves"? I don't know what "showing themselves" means. Meaning they look provocative like the women in porn? Big hair, too much make-up, & scantily clad? Somebody dressed out of KMart's junior's dept.?


Just with one girl, have had one girlfriend, and we did some making out but that was all we did. As for interacting, I can be outgoing at times, not so much others, depends really.

Lastly about the girls, more scantily clad I suppose.
auralpoison
I'm curious. Your family was religious, yet somehow you've been accessing porn for years. I suppose that you had your own computer & they respected your privacy.

About the gf, were your interactions with her enjoyable or were you thinking about porn the whole time? Was this recent? Or when you were younger & didn't expect it to go any further than that? Did you want it to go further? Were you disappointed that it maybe wasn't like you thought?

On the social tip, do you have a lot of friends? Are you engaged in any clubs, sports, organized anything? You mentioned holing up in your room & going through many sessions, so I'm wondering what you do outside of porn & school.

It's funny. You mention the things you like. But how do you know what you like when you've never really seen/experienced the real thing? I mean, you think you like what they've pretty much programmed you to like as a detached observer, not active participant. You've been given this shallow facsimile of what sex is & then you've voyeuristically picked the bits that appeal to you for whatever psychosexual reasons they do.

When I started, I remember thinking that maybe I was having sex wrong because I wasn't screaming in ecstasy & orgasming every two minutes. That's what the media, not just porn often implies. That it's always some sweaty, mindblowing, raunchy, cum soaked orgy of lust. It's not. Sometimes his arm is on your hair or he's got weird nipples or he farts. Porn sex is so . . . sanitized & idealized in a dehumanizing way. Women in porn aren't women, they're objects, receptacles, bodies with no will except for male fulfillment. Real women can say no & women in porn are paid not to.

ETA, I notice that you'll only address certain issues. Not once have you acknowledged anything about the addiction aspect. Owning a problem is half the battle. And you also ineffectively attempt to skirt questions. You might as well known I'm just gonna keep asking them. And I think your problem is not that m/f doesn't seem normal, it's that you've got a porn addiction that you don't really want to give up, but that you'd like to understand. I think you know you do & it threatens you to answer those questions & the others they bring up.
deepthinker
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Apr 20 2008, 01:44 AM) *
I'm curious. Your family was religious, yet somehow you've been accessing porn for years. I suppose that you had your own computer & they respected your privacy.

About the gf, were your interactions with her enjoyable or were you thinking about porn the whole time? Was this recent? Or when you were younger & didn't expect it to go any further than that? Did you want it to go further? Were you disappointed that it maybe wasn't like you thought?

On the social tip, do you have a lot of friends? Are you engaged in any clubs, sports, organized anything? You mentioned holing up in your room & going through many sessions, so I'm wondering what you do outside of porn & school.

It's funny. You mention the things you like. But how do you know what you like when you've never really seen/experienced the real thing? I mean, you think you like what they've pretty much programmed you to like. You've been given this shallow facsimile of what sex is & then you've picked the bits that appeal to you for whatever psychosexual reasons they do.

When I started, I remember thinking that maybe I was having sex wrong because I wasn't screaming in ecstasy & orgasming every two minutes. That's what the media, not just porn often implys. That it's always some sweaty, mindblowing, raunchy, cum soaked orgy of lust. It's not. Sometimes his arm is on your hair or he's got weird nipple hair or he farts. Porn sex is so . . . sanitized & idealized in a dehumanizing way. Women in porn aren't women, they're objects, receptacles, bodies with no will except for male fulfillment. Real women can say no & women in porn are paid not to.


Well with my family, it's not as you may think. See my mom and dad never married, and I've pretty much lived with my mom's side all my life, seeing my dad every now and again. My mom's side has never been deeply religious, was baptized Lutheran though never really practiced. My late grandpa was the only one on my mom's side that really went to church much at all. Really I've never been disciplined much living here, which has done a lot more harm then good really. Been allowed to get away with a lot of things, with little in way of punishment, and generally getting what I want. Never really monitored a whole lot either, sans the occasional checking in for no real reason, which sort of annoys me.

My dad's side is the strict religious type, and I think if I had lived my life there, things would be a lot different for me then they are.

As for friends, not really. I have like maybe one real life friend that I graduated with and actually see and talk to on a somewhat consistent basis outside of school. Could say I have two, if you count another friend I have been talking to via phone and email a lot lately. Other then that most of the people I know are more online. I have a hard time relating to a lot of people my age, I'm not the hard partying, drinking, having sex type that so many are. That lifestyle is not me, and never really was. Not really in many groups either at the moment.

With my one girlfriend I had, it was enjoyable, wasn't dissapointing, and didn't think of porn or anything like that. I admit though I still looked at it even during the short time we dated. She did know about it for the record. Didn't really want it to go further then making out, in fact I spoke up about that, realizing what we were getting into, and that if we weren't careful we'd cross a line neither of us wanted to cross. That's one thing I do intend to do, is save myself for marriage and my wife. Of all the stuff I've done, I'm proud of the fact that I have not actually physical sex to this point and hope to keep it that way till my wedding night. This was a few years ago now, that I dated her, broke up in February 06.

You raise a good point about not knowing what I really like since I haven't truly experienced it. Like for example, with the girls fighting thing, I've never really seen one in reality, though sometimes I want to. Perhaps if I really did, I wouldn't like it so much as I do now?


And about porn itself you are right about that, it's so much fantasy and not reality. Heck many of them don't even like their jobs to start with, from my understanding and are depressed and such. For what it's worth though, some of what I view isn't porn in that sense though, like lately been getting into amateur stuff more, made by real people, not actresses.
deepthinker
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Apr 20 2008, 01:44 AM) *
ETA, I notice that you'll only address certain issues. Not once have you mentioned anything about the addiction aspect. Owning a problem is half the battle. And you also ineffectively attempt to skirt questions. You might as well known I'm just gonna keep asking them. And I think your problem is not that m/f doesn't seem normal, it's that you've got a porn addiction that you don't really want to give up, but that you'd like to understand. I think you know you do & it threatens you to answer those questions & the others they bring up.


I realize it's an addiction, but at the same time I have always struggled with wanting to stop. Sometimes I've tried.....and subsequently failed miserably. For a while now, I've kind of given up fighting it to be honest, like I just don't care anymore. It's kind of like: "Why bother? I'm never gonna be able to do it anyway."

What compounds it, is even if I did want to try and stop it would be even harder now, then it was before. The deeper you go in, it becomes more difficult to come out, especially when you're at the point of actually communicating with various people who are into the same sort of stuff I'm hooked on (like the husband and wife couple I mentioned). All that makes it tougher to pull away then if it was just me battling this on my own, like it had been before.
auralpoison
Y'know, I've never watched so much tv in my life as now.

Tonight's hot mess was a BBC show on Real Dolls & their owners. I don't know how many different issues it brought up to me as a feminist.

These idealized, creepy, faux women. In a strange way, it's the ultimate insult. "A real woman will never be good enough, so I'll buy one custom! She'll weigh 100lbs, have huge tits, tight orrifices, & she can't say no!"

ANYWAY, Each of the guys were pretty similar. Disposable income, not very attractive, older, social issues. In short, icky.

One of the gents had only really had one woman in his life, his mother. He kept his mother's room the same after she died, to the point of labeling her trashbin. He had two dolls. After he bought them, he became an avid photographer, taking pictures of his girls & himself. He really felt that his mother would be happy for him that he had female companionship. Which freaked me out. That's not female companionship. It's a doll! A DOLL. Dehumanization, much? Not to mention the Hitchcock-ian "Psycho" comparisons.

Another of the guys had EIGHT dolls. That's something like $55,000 in sex toys American, depending upon features. He claimed that he spent the most on wigs for them. There was a particularly nasty bit where he was cleaning one's pussy with a scrub brush & it came out a manky yellow. He had a girlfriend. She was okay with the dolls, but doubted whether he just used them during the lonely periods like he told her. He claimed to fuck one a week. On a side note, his dolls all had ENORMOUS tits.

There was a creepy Alabama gun-nut with bad skin that admitted that he'd been a doormat for years just to get companionship. He wasn't gonna get used anymore. He liked his dolls to look virginal sexy; one wore a demure white dress, the other the ubiquitous school girl uniform with white panties. He showed off his automatic weapons. "Two girls, three guns."

The last guy's story involved his early atrraction to mannequins. His doll had weak limbs, so he sent her off to be repaired.

I'd seen the repair guy's website. His segment was creepy. He talked about his girlfriend's body issues over not being able to compete with the Real Dolls, she talked as well. He admitted that he'd fucked three of his client's dolls over the years. He claimed he felt them press back against him & it was great.

A lot of the shots were intentionally creepy. Because the dolls are not light weight, they have steel loops in the backs of their necks to suspend them. Seeing life-like looking women hanging from hooks, close up views of their dangling feet, their faces sometimes removed, a RD hook in somebody's shower, the RD DR. slitting open joints & using a ratchet . . . wrong wrong wrong.

That being said, I can see the appeal. The power dynamic between the sexes is fascinating. I know guys that won't ever get to have sex with a girl without paying for it (especially hot chicks). But I know girls that have cesspools as vags/minds that beat non-trolls away with a stick.

All of this comes on the heels of my seeing a bad horror show where a guy imagined that the bones he lived with were alive.

ETA: These guys know nothng about cosmetics. Their dolls looked sloppy, sloppy, sloppy for the most part. It also looked like they all bought the same shitty lipstick.
deepthinker
Wow, that is creepy, I have heard about those real dolls before. It's quite disturbing to think about. Then again......am I any better right now?
knorl05
ap: "But I know girls that have cesspools as vags/minds that beat non-trolls away with a stick."
huh? that whole statement just sounds whack.
auralpoison
I guess you've never known anybody malignant then. Lucky you. Just because I am a feminist doesn't mean I have to support other women's *poor* choices.
crinoline
Real Dolls creep me out to the max. It's like the ultimate dehumanization of women. The people who buy them have the attitude that they (the dolls) are JUST like real women, but even better, because they can't talk / express opinions/ dissent. I saw a documentary on those guys some time last year. c-r-e-e-p-y It offends me that those dolls represent the "ideal" woman in our sex-soaked society. Completely without thought, emotion, or free will, but with plenty of silicone breasts. just eww.
ETA- It's entirely F'ed up that there are women out there willing to sleep with these guys. How little self respect would you need to have to endure a relationship with an immature adult male (I refuse to call these specimens "men") who constantly compares you to a rubber doll he had made to his ridiculous specifications? "body issues" puh-lease, a human does not need to "compete" with a doll, she (the human) has already won, because she's real.

deep- IMO Real Doll purchasers are a tad more severe (in detachment from human reality) than those with a porn addiction. Porn is dehumanizing, but not to the same extreme.

on a side note, Lars and the Real Girl was a sweet movie.
culturehandy
Real Dolls are highly creepy. I remember someone in here posted a linlk about the making of real dolls. So bizarre. And $55,000.00 on real dolls???? And keeping the mothers room the same after she died?? Oh that is far beyond creepy.
shinyx3
Just as an aside with the real doll thing, have any of you seen the movie "Lar's and the Real Girl"? If is actually a great movie! It is about a man with some social and childhood issues who orders a real doll and presents her to the community as his girl friend. Sad and cute and thought provoking if you have ever known anyone stuck at a particular stage in their lives because of some sort of trama.
deepthinker
QUOTE(crinoline @ Apr 21 2008, 10:11 AM) *
deep- IMO Real Doll purchasers are a tad more severe (in detachment from human reality) than those with a porn addiction. Porn is dehumanizing, but not to the same extreme.


True, least the people I see in porn are actual people, sans the stuff I might read in fictional stories I suppose. But still, don't know that I'm much better off from these people, maybe slightly. Must admit, this has me thinking just a little bit here, about my own life.
culturehandy
Deepthinker, so long as you are thinking about the status of things, and you are willing to change current behaviour, this is a good thing!
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