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pollystyrene
What about sleeves/sleeveless/strapless? Neckline? Lace? I know, it's a lot of crap to think about.

Have you looked at J.Crew's bridal line? Hmm, they only go up to 16, and only select dresses. Bastards. Well, how do you feel about their styles, other than the size? Are any of those what you're looking for?
nickclick
some of those J.Crew dresses are so pretty - simple and classic. maybe their 16 is regular-store size 16 and not bridal shop size 16?
sassygrrl
I'm going to email the jcrew wedding person. Not that this matters but one of the dresses (Namani) was wore on Glee by Emma. I really like the Sophia, Avery, and Cecila ones. I also figure I could get my whole wedding party dresses there. I may be able to alter them some, and get a bolero jacket or shaw. Like I said not quite sure about March weather. I'm heading to a few boutiques this week just to get a fitting. I love those Sorrento and that Casablanca one, but they may be out of my price range.

Any thoughts of invitations? I don't really have a color theme and trying to stay original. My Save the Date was a silly magnet (must find pic of it) with a white board saying "we're getting married on Pi day..." Very Big Bang Theory. Although not quite sure if I want to carry the geek theme into the invites. I saw some great ones online thru weddingdivas but the only ones I saw on etsy were cardstock.

You gals and the Offbeat brides site are helping me so much! For that I want to thank you!! My wedding party is supportive but they aren't offering many ideas.



You gals and the girls from Offbeat Brides are helping me
pants
I have friends who had their rings engraved with binary code (i think of the date), if you're gonna go geek then i say, go hard biggrin.gif

Having a cute bolero or pretty shrug would def help get around any temperature issues if the weather doesn't cooperate and could really make the dress stand out. If you aren't tied to the idea of a traditional wedding dress, I saw below you were considering tea length, you may want to check out standar vintage shops. They often have really nice party dresses or semi formals that could work.

I totally scored with a pale blue lace dress from the 50's for just $106 but am aware that it wouldn't be everyone's cup opf tea. The shop did have other dresses in creams and whites that weren't typical wedding dresses but still would have worked.

A friend of ours designed the invitations for us, a simple drawing of a daisy (the only flower we used) that we had printed onto pale green paper along with the please join us for blah blah blah printed on either side of the stem. We used gromets to secure that to the sheet with the map and hotel info. Very simple, but I think very nice (I would think that though).

Is there some type image (like a boat or flower or bird or even the pi symbol) that really represents the two of you? It might be nice to start with something like that and see what you can find that features that image.
sassygrrl
[quote name='pants' date='Dec 9 2009, 02:00 PM' post='256583']
I have friends who had their rings engraved with binary code (i think of the date), if you're gonna go geek then i say, go hard biggrin.gif

I like binary code for Mcgeek or maybe some sort of geeky equation....

Having a cute bolero or pretty shrug would def help get around any temperature issues if the weather doesn't cooperate and could really make the dress stand out. If you aren't tied to the idea of a traditional wedding dress, I saw below you were considering tea length, you may want to check out standar vintage shops. They often have really nice party dresses or semi formals that could work.

Yeah I think I'll check out some vintage shops later this week. My problem with them is that sometimes the upper part of the dresses don't fit. I'm also going to see if Macys or other depts might just have some semi-formal dresses.

I totally scored with a pale blue lace dress from the 50's for just $106 but am aware that it wouldn't be everyone's cup opf tea. The shop did have other dresses in creams and whites that weren't typical wedding dresses but still would have worked.

A friend of ours designed the invitations for us, a simple drawing of a daisy (the only flower we used) that we had printed onto pale green paper along with the please join us for blah blah blah printed on either side of the stem. We used gromets to secure that to the sheet with the map and hotel info. Very simple, but I think very nice (I would think that though).


Is there some type image (like a boat or flower or bird or even the pi symbol) that really represents the two of you? It might be nice to start with something like that and see what you can find that features that image.
[/quote)

Not sure. It's definately something to think about. I know with him it's math or science and me it's books and movies. Maybe a beaker and a book?


pollystyrene
The Knot has a search category just for tea-length dresses, so I looked at that and they suggested Melissa Sweet dresses. I've always liked those dresses, and I didn't realize they're part of Priscilla of Boston, so hopefully you'll have some luck there.

I also saw some nice stuff from Lea Ann Belter.

I really liked this dress from Sarah Arnett.

Your area is in the 50's or so in March? And remind me- you're hoping to have the ceremony outside? I dunno, that could be okay.
sassygrrl
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Dec 10 2009, 12:53 AM) *
The Knot has a search category just for tea-length dresses, so I looked at that and they suggested Melissa Sweet dresses. I've always liked those dresses, and I didn't realize they're part of Priscilla of Boston, so hopefully you'll have some luck there.

I also saw some nice stuff from Lea Ann Belter.

I really liked this dress from Sarah Arnett.

Your area is in the 50's or so in March? And remind me- you're hoping to have the ceremony outside? I dunno, that could be okay.


I just got an email that Priscilla/Boston is having a sample sale next week! Hell to the yeah.
Usually it's 50 in March but last year on March 1st it snowed!! I'm hoping last year was just a fluke.

I got the deposit down on the photographer and the button bouquets.

I think I'm just going to relax today. I feel like I've been working all week on this, and I'm literally exhausted.
Mainly it's just writing email, searching, and confirming things but that can be time consuming.

Mcgeek doesn't know what to do with the invitations. I thought those little Wii people, but don't know if that would be too cheesy. I'm considering just doing them ourselves to save some money.
nickclick
QUOTE(sassygrrl @ Dec 9 2009, 08:15 AM) *
You gals and the Offbeat brides site are helping me so much! For that I want to thank you!! My wedding party is supportive but they aren't offering many ideas.
You gals and the girls from Offbeat Brides are helping me

sassy, have you checked out the boards at indiebride? corny name, i know, but many cool ideas and recommendations floating around.

ETA for invitations... what about goofy cartoon caricatures of you both? that's always fun!
sassygrrl
I love those Stephanie James dresses but they're about $2000, and a 12 week turnaround time.
quantumspice
QUOTE(sassygrrl @ Dec 8 2009, 08:22 AM) *
Yay QSpice. Do you have a copy of them yet?

Of the announcement paper? Yeah, my sample came awhile ago! If we print them ourselves, this is what it'll be. Self printing will let us have an English announcement for my friends & family and a Portuguese for his without separate orders. But if we really like our photos, we may go with a photo based announcement instead, like this and have them not print married, so it just has our names, date, and location (so, uh, language really isn't an issue!).


Regarding plus sized wedding dresses: meh. If you're willing to play the return and try again game, igigi (which services 12+) has some fairly nice, affordable ones - but only a handful of styles. If wearing off-the-shoulder straps didn't bother me, I would have been so there. Not wanting a train but wanting a floor length gown made dress shopping a PAIN and I ended up picking a bridesmaid's dress. I haven't decided on the color yet -- it comes in white/ivory/cream as well as the rainbow of bridesmaids colors, and I haven't 100% decided between ivory/cream and this beautiful pale blue-green. I keep wavering between what I really want with the dress (rewearability) and tradition. Gostosinho says he doesn't care, and I think I believe him (he's got no problem telling me when he cares - like when we were looking at floral arrangements, he was ADAMENT that we should have the one with roses and freesia laugh.gif), so it's entirely my call.
pollystyrene
I thought this wedding planning business was going too well...

As you may remember, LeBoy and I had a plan for the invitations that the outlaws weren't as enthusiastic about. I sent LeMom the file with the image and didn't hear back about it, so I assumed she tried printing it on her laser printer, it looked like crap, as we predicted, and gave up. Well, I'd been talking to our calligrapher and she wanted to get started on the envelopes over the holidays because she's a teacher and had the time off. So, over the weekend I went and bought a big box of ivory envelopes. Yesterday, I emailed LeMom and told her I was going to drop them off at her house so LeSIL could pick them up because the calligrapher is a co-worker of hers. I dropped them off (she was still at work) and when I got back from volunteering at the animal shelter, there was an email waiting for me from her saying that she thought we were going to let her experiment with the image on their printer and now I've gone and bought the envelopes AND RUINED EVERYTHING (she didn't actually say that, but I could tell she was thinking it.)

I replied back and told her that as long as we use 5x7 paper, we could still potentially use her invitation (humoring her of course- LeBoy and I know it's not going to work.) She replied again and said that her plan was to work on them over Christmas break and use one of those invitation sets (which would come with envelopes) and she thinks that it would be better if we printed it on white paper instead of ivory. Um...the text in the picture is ivory, the flowers in the picture are ivory, my dress is ivory, one of our accent colors is ivory...there is no *white* anywhere, and it's not going to make a difference anyway.

LeBoy's going to have to 'splain things to her.

Ugh. M.I.L.D.E.W. headache.
sassygrrl
Polly, sorry for your shitty MIL. I hope Le Boy smoothed things over.

I can't even reach my inlaws as they are now separated. This is tough considering I'm not even sure they're show up to the wedding. My mother is driving me crazy about the details of the wedding, and it being 3 months away.

I did find a seamstress on etsy that will be able to make me a dress in the style of Melissa Sweet and Stephanie James for only about $400. She's going to be able to take my measurements over the holidays, and make my dress in about a month. Here's her site: http://www.etsy.com/shop/audreyandgrace?section_id=6633121
I'm still heading to a truck sale this week just to look around.

I'm trying to come up with invitations, a music playlist, and a Plan B if it rains. The gazebo itself is covered, but not the actual places where the guests will sit. I'm considering just telling people to all bring umbrellas just in case. I don't think we can afford another venue. I did ask the restaurant if we could have the ceremony there, and they declined. Urgh!!

Having a fight with my bridesmaids on something non-wedding related. Damn!


pollystyrene
I guess all you can do is assume they're coming and if they show, they show- McGeek can't get to them either?

The dress deal sounds wonderful! Post pictures or sketches when you can!

I think that unless it's chilly, pouring or your ceremony is really long (more than 15 minutes or so) people should be okay with standing with an umbrella. Is getting a couple of these (or something similar) an option?
sassygrrl
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Dec 16 2009, 03:05 PM) *
I guess all you can do is assume they're coming and if they show, they show- McGeek can't get to them either?

The dress deal sounds wonderful! Post pictures or sketches when you can!

I think that unless it's chilly, pouring or your ceremony is really long (more than 15 minutes or so) people should be okay with standing with an umbrella. Is getting a couple of these (or something similar) an option?


Well considering Mcgeek's parents split he doesn't even know where they live. Most of the family moved out his father's house. I guess his dad knows, but I hate to get in the middle of things. It's a sticky situation all around.

I will. She's either coming to Mom and Dad's over the holidays, or we're stopping by Savannah on the way home. I'm really happy about it!

I have no idea about the ceremony. On March 1st of last year there was a weird snow-storm. So you never know....

How are things with the mother-in-law from hell?


pollystyrene
Eek, that does sound like a hairy situation. How do you split up and just not tell your own kids where you're going?

We saw my family for Hanukkah last night, so I'm going to make him call her tonight. I emailed his brother's wife about the situation because I knew she'd sympathize with me and she said, "oh the memories!" She had a hell of a time planning their wedding with his parents- at least I was mostly prepared, both emotionally and I had a lot of the stuff I wanted to do already picked out because I knew that if I didn't have a lot of it decided, she'd just try to take over.

This too shall pass. rolleyes.gif
pollystyrene
Grrr...lack of editing button...

LeBoy says he doesn't want to have the conversation over the phone, that he wants to do it in person. Now he's gotta find an excuse to go up to his parents house and I have to continue to avoid his mom's emails. I told him I want it rectified before Christmas.

It worries me that I haven't heard from his sister, confirming that she got the envelopes. I hope his mom didn't take matters into her own hands and not give it to his sister, because then the calligrapher wouldn't get them until after New Years.
sassygrrl
More inlaw drama!
Mcgeek found out that his parents are truly getting divorced. His brother with the sick child is not coming to the wedding. I have no idea about the other brother. His mother can't afford it, so we're going to have to pay for her via train (I guess she doesn't fly) to come down here. I just hope there's no tension. Seems like a MILDEW situation.

One of my bridesmaids Carol has turned into a total bitch. We're both in this meetup, and she started getting very power hungry. It's a science meetup, and she's a teacher. Now she's wanting to control the whole thing, and wants this science based lectures even though the main organizer wanted it to be more social like having a beer and talking about science. Every time I raised a comment I was shot down. This is a freaking meetup not a job.

I asked if she was mad at me, and she said no. Yet, she's acting like more of a fair weather friend than someone who really wants to be there for my wedding. I think I asked her to be a bridesmaids in honesty because Mcgeek proposed at her house. Obviously in the heat and shock of the moment of being newly engaged.
We're in the same social circle so I'm trying to not let it piss me off. I just want people in my wedding party who really care for me. In the email she kept saying she was constantly busy and had her own life, and she doesn't know me that well. It seems every time I would ask her to hang out she declined. I don't know if this is because I don't know much about science. It just seems very snotty. She's always going on and on about her degrees. I really don't care about her degrees. We play in the same trivia group too.

So it's down to my best friend, and my two friends Laverne and Claudette. The next couple months are going to be maniac so I'll need their love and support.

I guess this is one of the hiccups of weddings.






pollystyrene
Well, at least you sort of have an answer now, sassy. Will his dad still come if his mom is there?

Sorry about the bridesmaid. I had to let one go too and it's not fun, but can be a relief afterwards.

I talked to LeMom for the first time since the invitation drama today. We stopped by their house after meeting for a late lunch with some friends who were in from out of town. It was like a non-issue. She mentioned that LeSister picked up the envelopes, and when she dropped them off, found out that our calligrapher's 10-year-old son died the day after Thanksgiving and didn't mention it to anyone at work. LeSister thinks it was something like leukemia, but didn't get many details, because she had to get it through the grapevine at work to get that little bit of info. Very sad, and I feel kinda bad for being sort of chipper in the note I included with the envelopes, but I didn't know- no one knew. LeMom also made sure that even the people who we didn't expect to come would still be getting an RSVP postcard (well, yeah- otherwise it would just be a wedding announcement, right?)

So, I'm just going to wait to see if she mentions it after her Christmas break, if she tried out her cardstock theory, and if I don't hear anything, I'll proceed with my plan. The benefit of the photo thing is that I can print however many I want whenever I want, so I can wait until a week before we're going to send them out to even order them. I already have the RSVP postcards.

Although, when she asked about the RSVP's to the people we don't think are coming, she also said, "and you're going to change the start time to 6:00 instead of 5:00 on the invitation, right?" so that sort of implies that the fate of the invitations is in my hands. biggrin.gif
sassygrrl
((Polly)) Did that get straightened out?

Turns out both parents want to come. Now we just have to pay for separate hotel rooms and fly them down.

I don't know if any remembers but when Mcgeek and I went up to his brother's wedding we had to pay his dad a deposit for the brother's wedding. He called a few days ago to tell Mcgeek he's not paying us at all. We found out thru Mcgeek's dad that it was for the brother all along. The money was not coming in very often, but it just amazes me that Mcgeek came from such a family of liars.

I've gotten so much accomplished over the last two weeks. We have figured out our honeymoon, designed the invitations, set up appointments with the venue and a dress designer, etc etc. I was going to go thru Etsy for a designer but she never got back to me. I found a local seamstress.

Here's the honeymoon place if I hadn't posted it yet: http://maho.org/
We're heading to the Concordia side. My dad saw this in NYT, and we found out just surfing the web.
I can't wait!

My mother is being very wacky. She's calling a lot acting "nice." I feel like she doesn't have anything to do. I'm trying to figure out a little task for her to do that isn't too demanding. I think her and dad feel left out in the planning process. He keeps grumbling about money lately.

I did kick out the bridesmaids for being not there for me. She told me in an email that she didn't really like me anyways. I really asked her b/c Mcgeek proposed to me at her house. She's become really mean lately and I don't want that drama.

I'll try to finally post my engagement ring and the proof of the invites later on this week.
Now just trying to find an officiant and a ton of other stuff.
On the downside I feel I'm gaining some weight. Not good! sad.gif





quantumspice
Nice looking honeymoon, sassy! We're not really doing a honeymoon - we may spend a few extra days in New Orleans, but that's less a honeymoon and more recovery from the drive. (We're driving from my summer home in Tuscon, where I intern, back to the midwest, where I'm going for grad school and he'll be spending quality time doing the housework and gaming while we wait for his employment authorization to come.) That said: we are planning to go on vacation in March (during spring break), to go to a cabin in the Smokey Mountains.


We have to change the date, the Rio embassy says that with a early-to-mid February petition approval, he won't be able to get scheduled for an interview until late April, which doesn't give him enough post-visa time with his family (in his opinion) and is close enough that our photographer can't guarantee availability with as wedding-happy as May/June are. It's ok because 1) August is a better time (financially) for us to get married, as I will have spent my entire summer working full time, 2) and because it's not a high-demand time of year for marriage in NOLA, the photographer/officiant will have more notice, and 3) he can spend one last father's day with his father (whom he's really close to). Since it's going to be delayed, we've decided to ask for a May interview on what would have been our wedding date & I'll fly down and we'll spend the week in Rio.
sassygrrl
Ugh. The honeymoon is booked. sad.gif I'll have to find another place.

Here's some pictures:

http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=2...47soczs1&zw (invite)
flowers:
http://www.etsy.com/get_convo_image.php?co...image_type=full

My dress is sort of like this:
http://www.brides.com/fashion/dresses/feat...3/#slide_183884
Mixed with a tea-length skirt.

Squee!

I'm a little sad though. Not sure why.


pollystyrene
Sorry, I missed your post from a few days ago.

Your invite and flower links aren't working :-(

Sorry the honeymoon place is booked. I'm not even planning a honeymoon. We'll have to see how much money we get in gifts. LeSister-in-Law told me that they didn't have money for a honeymoon after the wedding, either, but it was okay because LeMom & Dad paid for them to go away for a few days for their first anniversary, anyway. So we'll see.

Wow, both of his parents and yours? That's going a lot of dysfunction in one place, sassy.

No, the invite issue is still ongoing. LeBoy and I are decided on what we're going to do, but we're still humoring LeMom with the idea that will go with something she's come up with. This past weekend she showed me what it would look like printed on a card with scalloped edges blink.gif

Yesterday, I made a to-do list of everything that needs to get done in the next few months and a date of when I'd like to have it done. Making a decision on the invitations, as if we don't know what we're going to do, is something I want to have completed by the end of the month.
sassygrrl
Ick scalloped edging?

Well the flowers are those button bouquets. They may post on FB. I have trouble posting links on Bust for some reason. The invites are purple polka-doted, and she's putting a little Pi sticker to close them.

No big deal. We may not go anyways. It also depends on money for us as well.

Yep. I also found out more drama about his brother and the money he owes us. Mcgeek wants to take him to court over it. Crazy situation all over. Then there's my insane family. It should be an interesting mix.

To-do lists are great. They've helped me a lot. One of my bridesmaids has also stepped up and kindof become my maid of honor and started planning parties and helped me not freak out constantly.

sassygrrl
HOLY SHIT.


I know people always talk about their crazy in-laws, but this is nuts. There's more crazy family drama about stolen money against other members of the family, etc. There's even talk of my sister-in-law (sort of) being a ho. Mcgeek may take the brother to court over this (the money he never paid us). The other brother told Mcgeek that somehow Matt had the money to buy a $2500 tv, Wii, etc for Christmas.

I'm really hesitant to enter in to this family. I'm so happy they live far away. I'm amazed Mcgeek turned out so well.
If we were up there, we'd be dragged into that mess.

sassygrrl
Well, the weird turned pro. Mcgeek's dad had a stroke, and now we're going to have a reception up there as well after the wedding. I think we're going to hire one of my friends to maybe live-stream the wedding ceremony or something. I still have very weird thoughts about this family, and don't look forward to meeting them again especially after I know all this shit about them.

In awesome news, I lost another 5 pounds! 9 more and I'll be near my goal weight!

Still have a ton of bits and bobs on my to-do lists as we have 58 more days to go now....
Divala
Hi, everyone!

I rarely ever post here, but I've been lurking for more than a year. DivaGiant and I got engaged a couple weeks ago, and we're planning our wedding for late March/early April 2011. We can't settle on a date until the giant's brother gets his date to serve in Afghanistan, which is supposed to be sometime that April. Since it's not during prime wedding season, we figure we'll have an easier time finding the locations we want and at a cheaper rate.

Our colors are going to be light green and purple (just a bit darker than lavendar so it's more purple than pink), and we're either getting a JP to do the ceremony or having my BFF's husband get ordained in an internet church so he can do the honors, and I'm walking down the aisle to a rock song, no "Here Comes The Bride" for me. I'm an atheist and the giant is pretty close to it, so we figure we have no reason to make believe so we can get married in a church. I guess this means we're going to make it up as we go along.

The links you guys have posted to Offbeat Bride and MILDEW have been great - I actually bought the Offbeat Bride book and am currently reading through it, along with a heap of books about how to be more green and get bargains/cut costs, since we're paying for everything but the reception hall rental and catering (excluding cake - that we'll pay for along with decorations and music).

There's so much to plan, my head's spinning. I don't trust my mom or the giant's mom to get much of anything right, so I plan to do it all myself, though I may possibly hire a day-of coordinator so I might be able to actually have a little bit of fun at his shindig.
pollystyrene
Congrats, Diva!

We have the same colors- muted lavender ("Victorian Lilac" is what some places call it), light green and ivory!

Are you having bridesmaids? If so, are you letting them pick dresses, or are you picking something for them?

We are at the 100 day mark (or just under depending what counter you look at)! Woohoo! I'm finalizing the design on the invitations; you may remember (and can read down thread about it) the drama about the invitations...we're just doing our plan and printing them the way we wanted. Won't LeMom be surprised when she gets hers in the mail? tongue.gif

We picked out clothes for the groomsmen- pants (dress khakis), button-down shirt, ties and suspenders. LeBoy bought a suit, in light brown.

We have to do a walk-through of our venue with our caterer at the end of March/early April. And we have to start tasting cupcakes!

So yeah, things are coming together.
Divala
Hi, Polly!

Yeah, we're going to have 3 bridesmaids (my BFF in CA is the maid of honor, PinkPoodle, and probably the giant's oldest neice who'll be 12 or 13 by then, though I'm not for sure on her yet), and 3 groomsmen (the giant's brother, cousin, and my gay boyfriend), my brothers will be ushers, the giant's other neices who're old enough will be flower girls, and my nephew will be the ring bearer.

For the bridesmaid dresses, I'm going to just send them each a swatch of fabric in the purple and green I'm choosing and tell them to find themselves something they feel comfortable with. I'm not concerned about being really matchy-matchy, and the 3 of them have such different bodies that someone would be dressed inappropriately if I made them all wear the same dress. I'm going to make them matching jewelry to go with the dresses to keep as gifts, probably a tiered necklace with Swarovski crystals and matching earrings/bracelets, and bouquets will be multicolored pastel tulips. Those I can whip up pretty quickly and cheaply (jewelry and flowers). I want the groomsmen and my nephew in black suits with purple ties/cumerbunds.

I'm going to make the jewelry and favors (my famous truffles) myself, since they're both things I already do quickly and well, and the flowers and centerpieces will be simple, so I may do those myself, too, excluding corsages/boutineers, which I don't know how to do with tulips since their stems are hollow.

Polly, your invitations sound really sweet. You're printing the info on a picture of you and LeBoy, right? I've been reading about your invitation drama. We're probably going to end up doing like you and LeBoy for your anniversary, see how much cash we get in gifts and then decide from there. We've been living together for more than 4 years and just bought a house together, so we don't really need anything. I'm reluctant to even register anywhere for if anyone throws me a shower, but I suppose we should.

Sassy, congrats on getting so close to your goal weight! I'm working on it, too, and I have a looong way to go. I'm going to try to lose 5-6 pounds a month until our date, and I'm not even going to start looking at wedding dresses for 7 months. So far I'm on pound #3. I hope all the drama with your families figures itself out and you can have a drama-free wedding. Money can cause so many problems.

I just wish we could get to planning and making our ceremony and reception site reservations, but it's all useless until the giant's brother gets his service date. Feh. I hate not being able to control everything. Hopefully the war will be over by then and it'll be a moot issue, but I doubt it.

pollystyrene
Actually, divala, it's a picture I took of the crabapple tree outside our condo. I PM'ed you a link of it (which you've probably gotten by now.)

Yeah, funny how you find things to fill a registry with even after you've lived together. There's stuff I've held off on buying (a KitchenAid mixer, nice dishes) and stuff that needs to upgraded (I've been using my 25-year-old childhood set of towels). We didn't register for traditional china; we got this style. We love it. It's purple-y and blue-y and interesting. There's already been two place settings bought! Woohoo! At least LeBoy and I will be able to eat off nice dishes wink.gif
Divala
I'd probably register for a good set of silverware, since all of ours is pretty cheap. Your dishes are beautiful. I figure we'll probably get my grandparents' good china, because my mom and aunt suggested it since my grandpa doesn't have any use for it anymore. Other than that, all we really need is furniture, and we don't exactly want other people picking it out for us. What we really want is cash.

Does anyone here have any experience with covering up tattoos? I've got my whole back inked and I definitely want to cover it up for the wedding and I assume that whatever dress I'm going to get won't have a full back. The last thing I want is for a bunch of attention paid to what's on my back when the day is supposed to be about the giant and me getting married. Does anyone know of a good product/s for this and a good technique for full but natural coverage?
auralpoison
Divala, Tattoocamo, Covermark & Demablend are hands down the best products for covering ink. And if it is your whole back, you're going to want to hire a professional makeup artist to do it & to set aside a goodly amount of pre-wedding time for it. It takes a LOT of shading & blending to do it correctly for "full but natural coverage". YOU WANT A MAKEUP ARTIST, TRUST ME. If you don't get one you might as well find a dress with coverage or just live with your exposed ink.
kittenb
This might be a naive question but why do you want the back tats covered? I think tattoed brides are pretty cool.
Divala
I want to cover it up because my tattoo is not for the consumption of others. The reason I put it there is because that's a chunk of skin that's rarely seen and doesn't stretch much over time, as well as no contours to work around, but I mainly put it there so I could keep it hidden. I don't want to deal with a slew of comments on this choice of mine, so it's best left out of sight - out of mind. The last thing I want to do on my wedding day is hear about how I've defiled my body from my 91-year-old grandpa.

Thanks for the advice, AP. I'm thinking of getting my regular makeup professionally done anyway, so I may just see about booking more time with the pro to get this done right. I'm just glad I had no intention of having an early-in-the-day wedding so I'll have time to take care of stuff like this.
kittenb
QUOTE
The last thing I want to do on my wedding day is hear about how I've defiled my body from my 91-year-old grandpa.


Okay, I see your point. cool.gif
humanist77
I found this Etsy site with beautiful custom made dresses. Very affordable, relatively. It was featured on the front page. I like the diversity in the models.
treehugger
Divala, this is late, but make sure the makeup will stay in place with all the hugs you are most likely going to receive, too. Just a thought...I went through a family reunion right after I got my back tattoo and I regretted it because it was constantly getting touched/hugged.
Divala
Tree, that's a really good point. I actually had thought of that and figured that there's got to be some kind of makeup sealer that exists somewhere in the world where drag queens exist. Seriously, they tromp around in the sun at Pride festivals every year and their makeup doesn't melt off. There's gotta be something to that. I'm also planning on wearing my hair down, or at least only partially up, so there'll be hair to cover it up, at least partially.

The funny thing is that I'm one of those people that doesn't like to be touched, so I'm hoping to keep hugs to a minimum.

Humanist, those are beautiful dresses. I've started to look at a few, but won't try anything on for probably 6 months when I've lost a couple dress sizes.

The giant and I went to a wedding fair a few weeks ago and I got a brochure from a cosmetology school. The rep said they'd be able to airbrush my back, so I'll probably go with them. Also, with it being a school, it should be cheaper than a professional place, and there should be instructors there to make sure the student gets it right.

Polly, how's the planning going?

And didn't Sassygrrl just get married? How did it go?
aphelendra
hello all!

I've been lurking around these parts for a while, and wanted to say hey. I'm also planning a wedding, but haven't nailed down a date yet. We're expecting a baby girl in july,(cart before horse, yeah yeah) and I want to give myself some time to be with her (and lose some baby flab) before I have to worry about all this wedding stuff.

So far, I've only really checked out dresses and venues (the two fun things, har har). Thanks for the awesome dress site, humanist. For some reason I hadn't even thought to look on etsy, and now I've found all sorts of awesome trinkets and things. I also wanted to suggest, for ladies who is still lookin for dresses, of all things, the J. Crew website. They have some reasonably priced dresses in nice fabrics, sans sequins and fake pearls and layers and layers of tulle, and all that tacky tacky stuff you usually find on a cheap dress.

Happy planning. . . .
pollystyrene
Definitely look into airbrushing. I'm doing airbrushed makeup for my makeup because it just looks smoother (an issue because of my roseacea) and it's supposed to be very rub-resistant, and since I tend to be kinda itchy in general and touch my face a lot, I need something that's going to stick. Are you going to do a trial with them before your wedding to make sure it works?

The planning's going okay- I had my first shower last weekend, hosted by my family. I have the one his family is hosting on Sunday.

Wedding is in 6 weeks, two days. I'm starting to get a little freaked out that not everything will be done in time. My mom still has to do my alterations- it has to be shortened, taken in around the top, have the straps taken off and replaced with cap sleeves and put some tulle in there, instead of having a separate crinoline. Oh, and make the bustle. She did all the pinning a couple weeks ago, but I don't think she's actually done anything with it. She has to finish making her outfit, as well. She did the alterations on prophecy's dress in a day, and no one else needed anything done.

We have to find a couple of bartender's; my caterer isn't really a full-service caterer, they're just a restaurant that caters stuff, and they don't have a bar in the restaurant. Going through one of those bartender services is crazy expensive, especially since we're just having beer and wine, no mixed drinks. We're doing a walk-through with the caterer and the event coordinator at our venue on Saturday and I'm going to see if the caterer happens to just know someone before I just start looking for random college students with a bartending license that I can pay $75 for the night.

We also have to pick out a place to get cupcakes from. We're going to do tastings at a couple of places next week.

I got my jewelry yesterday! This necklace and these earrings. I'll probably get this headband, along with these hair pins (and maybe these, too). I'm going to be very bejeweled- waaaay more than I do on a daily basis. This will be the hairstyle I'm going for.

ETA: Hey, aphelendra! Welcome to Bust and I see you're in Chicago! We Chicago Busties get together pretty regularly- you should join us sometime. We mostly talk about the get-togethers on Facebook, for privacy reasons. PM me here on Bust if you're on Facebook and I'll clue you in! Congrats on the wedding and baby!
Divala
Polly, that headband is gorgeous! I'm jealous of the model's hair in your picture of your hairstyle. Imagine that, actual texture in one's hair! Mine is stick straight and long, but at least it's pretty full, so it doesn't look limp. I'm leaning toward doing a half updo with my hair in loose curls and the front piece held back with a knot of my own hair, then maybe hanging my veil off that, if I even wear a veil.

I am planning to do a run-through of hair/makeup, including tattoo airbrushing, at some point before the wedding. Hopefully on the same day as our engagement photo, if we do one (it'd basically be free with our package, and the photographer is a friend of the giant's). I'd like to have it to send out with our invitations.

Wow, just 6 weeks away. I hope you can find a bartender easily. If I were in the area, I'd do it for you. I'm licensed and everything, though I haven't worked as one in nearly 9 years.

Welcome, Aphelendra!
aphelendra
Thanks for the kind welcome ladies!

Still in very early planning stages, but happy to have a place to lurk abour/ask questions. Luck to all!
pollystyrene
So, my wedding day has come and gone. Overall, it was really good. We had perfect weather (80 degrees, no rain, nice breeze) and there were no major catastrophes.

There was some family drama....about 2 weeks before the wedding, one of my cousins alerted me that the toll-free number for the hotel that I printed on the invitation went to a phone sex hotline. Her mom, my aunt, is someone who likes to stir up drama, and was apparently very upset that she had to listen to a few seconds of nothing worse than you'd hear on those late night commercials. She just got her teaching certificate and has to have a background check done, and was worried they'd look at her phone records. Um, don't think it works that way.

This aunt also doesn't get along with my grandma, and when it was definite that my grandma was going to be at the wedding (she's older, in fragile health and lives in Missouri), suddenly, my aunt needed emergency eye surgery the week of the wedding and the entire family canceled their RSVP. I suspect that there either was no eye surgery or it's no coincidence that it was scheduled that week. I was kind of upset about it, and my dad was furious. He's considering boycotting any events at Christmas with them this year. Maybe he's calmed down now, but that week before the wedding I thought he was going to have an aneurysm about it. None of my other cousins from my mom's side made it, even though they're all high school age of older and even if their parents couldn't come, they're old enough to travel alone (and I don't think finances were the problem.) My dad sent out an email to all of them and their parents saying that he'd make sure they were all fed and looked after, but no one even replied.

I had to go a little bridezilla (the only time I did since we got engaged, I say) before the wedding when we were setting up the barn, because I was trying to leave to go to Mr. Styrene's (hee hee, he's "Mr. Styrene" now!) parent's house to meet the photographer and makeup artist and people kept pulling me back in to ask stupid questions and I was running late and I had to just yell, "I HAVE TO LEAVE, FIGURE IT OUT OR CALL ME IN THE CAR!!" I was late to get there, fortunately my SIL, who was also having her makeup done, didn't waste time and got started on hers. Once I started getting ready, no one would tell me what time it was and every time I asked, they'd just say, "don't worry about it, we're fine". Combine this with the fact that I didn't know I had the laptop with all the music on it with me (we had an iPod DJ, so we created all the playlists ourselves) and the ceremony started about 15 minutes late. Oh well. The DJ managed to wing it through the whole thing beautifully- I don't think anyone knew the difference.

Anyway, the ceremony was really lovely- we had lots of personal touches. Busties abounded- stargazer did a reading for us, humanist and prophecygrrl were maid and matron of honor, respectively. Turbojenn/mann and kittenb and The Geek were there. The reception was awesome- we had BBQ from a local BBQ place that is just amazing, cupcakes from a cupcake bakery. Everyone said it was the best food they'd ever had at a wedding.

The only bad things were that not too many people stayed late- we actually ended an hour earlier than planned. I think because the venue was out in bumblefuck, it was a long drive for people. My mom had to leave shortly after dinner because my uncle, who has emphysema and was staying at their house, wasn't feeling well. So she drove him the 25 miles all the way home, then came back because we needed the space in her car to get all the stuff home. So, I have no pictures of me and my mom at the reception- just the posed ones after the ceremony. I know she didn't have much choice, but I'm still kinda sad about it.

Anyway, it was the best feeling, waking up in the hotel the next day, knowing I was married and never have to plan a fricking wedding again!

I'm going to post the pictures on the secret bustie clubhouse, and Divala, I'll PM them to you, since I know you're not in the clubhouse. If anyone else wants to see them, PM me and I'll send you a link!

How are your plans going, divala and aphelendra?
damona
*delurking*

polly... wow. congrats. i'm sorry things went a little rough, but it sounds like a pretty good day, all in all.

i can't believe you guys are married! *happy*



sukouyant
Polly you gave me Bustie envy! I'm glad most of it went so beautifully for you smile.gif
pollystyrene
Aw, thanks Sukoyant! How are the other Bustie brides doing?
kittenb
Polly -Having been at your wedding, I had no idea there was any confusion or drama at all. It all seemed so seamless. I would love to know what sort of sacrifice you made to get such great weather. Whatever/whoever it was, totally worth it. We had a great time and that weekend is one of my fav memories from the summer. happy.gif The food was fantastic. It also made me think that my fantasies of having a gourmet burger bar at my wedding not impossible after all.

I am not a Bustie bride, yet. The Geek has promised he will ask me, says he has something planned. Don't know what he is waiting for but that might be a conversation for another thread. Anyway...I believe him so I am starting to look for ways that we can have a nice wedding that won't put us in the poor house. I am job searching/temping right now so I do not know when I will have a steady income. I love some of the DIY stuff I've found on-line but I am worried about taking on too much. It is not uncommon for my crafty eyes to get way bigger than my actual skills.
pollystyrene
Aww, thanks, kitten! I can only attribute the perfect weather to all those goats we sacrificed to Ra. tongue.gif

It's very possible to have a budget-friendly wedding that is still nice- I think it's all about the personal touches to create the mood and then making sure your guests are comfortable and having fun. A gourmet burger bar sounds amazing! All that food we had (not including the cupcakes)- less than $20/person! And we had a lot of leftovers- Mr. Styrene and I are still having ribs, pulled pork, mac & cheese, baked beans for dinner every now and then!

I have a copy of this book, the 2009 edition, if you want it!
pants
I totally agree with Polly, Kitten, it is very possible to have a budget friendly wedding. You just need to be creative about some things smile.gif We were able to keep costs on ours down by using friends to help design the invites (I worked at an art school at the time so had a pool of cheap talented labour) and luckily my cousin had just begun setting up her own photography business so she was psyched to take photos for us as it helped her build her portfolio (I still paid her obvs but she asked for considerably less than another photog would have)

Also, we decided to go back to my hometown for the wedding rather than doing it in Chicago, where we were living at the time. By choosing a much smaller town, all the costs dropped considerably, the reception site cost a quarter of what a similar place in the city would have run.

I also mangaed to find an awesome vintage party dress for $97 rather than going for a full trad wedding dress (which is not everyone's cup of tea, but worked really well for me, white washes me out, yo)

It's not for everyone, but I had an awesome time hunting up deals and finding fun different ways to make the wedding our own. I do come from a long line of hagglers though so maybe it was all genetic
Divala
Hi, everyone! Long time no post!

Congrats, Polly! It sounds like everything went really well. And you were totally not a bridezilla for trying to keep on schedule, just assertive. The family drama sucks, though. I'm hoping our only drama will be my cousins from Chicago, who I can't stand, not coming. One of them got married over the summer, which I didn't attend, and hope to Maud that they won't come to mine. I don't want to pay for them to eat, drink, and be entertained when we don't even speak. I'll send an invitation, though, just to be polite and not stir the drama myself.

A lot has happened since I last posted here. We've got pretty much all the big stuff set. The ceremony is going to be in an arboretum with this 22-foot high glass fish sculpture which is located in a sculpture garden, which we can also use for photos since it comes with our permit from the parks board to use the ceremony space. The only problem with the space is that we can only seat about 1/2 the people we're inviting. I figure they'll only be there an hour or so, so they can suck it up, since the reception is going to be fantastic. We're renting a mansion-type place, which is one of those things I wouldn't compromise on. The crazy thing is that this one is cheaper for the whole place than it was for just a couple rooms in most of the others we considered. Catering comes with it, which at first I had wanted to hire an outside caterer, but now I'm pretty happy that I don't have to make that decision. We're also doing an open bar, since that's the only way this place allows it because the giant and I have to provide all the liquor/beer/wine/mixers/sodas for the event, which will actually save us a couple grand, so that's good.

I just bought my dress a few weeks ago. I'd done all my shopping on my own and had pictures taken of me in the dresses I didn't hate, but I let my mom come with me to one store that specializes in plus-size bridal. I got my dress from there, and I love it. All the other places tried to put me in poofy princess dresses that were uncomfortable and made me feel stupid. They barely even had anything available to try on without mountains of crinoline. The dress I did get has no crinoline whatsoever. It's an ivory strapless sweetheart neckline dress with a full scalloped lace overlay with a detachable train. I'm going to have straps added and have a bolero jacket made. Even though I'm a big girl, I wanted something that fit a little slimmer than the typical a-line, since those tend to stumpify and widen me. I just want to look and feel tall on my wedding day, for once in my life. I'm even wearing 5-inch heels, just to guarantee I'll be taller than the 12-year-old junior bridesmaid.

So, we've got venues/catering done, FI's friend is a photographer who's giving us a 25% discount, my dress is paid for and ordered, music is contracted and deposited (I splurged to get the best cabaret singer in Mpls to sing at the ceremony - I've been going to see her for probably 9 years and we're friendly acquaintances), and we're having a mosaic cake made by a local indie baker, which I'm the most excited about. Big white monster cakes really aren't my thing, so we're having a hand-pieced 4-5 tier (narrow tiers) mosaic cake in our colors with our graphics (initials and simple birds) worked into the design. It actually came in under budget, so I'm pretty excited about it.

Currently, I'm working on getting a florist and we're going to start on our paper projects momentarily. Except for the guys, who will rent tuxes, everyone else can wear what they want in the specified color and length. Since you can't rent a bridesmaid dress, I figured I'd rather have them buy something from a regular store that they'd shop at anyway for their dresses. That guarantees they'll be usable again. I figure I should book a hair/makeup/tattoo coverup artist pretty soon. I think I'm going to probably end up wearing my hair up, and I don't want to even try to mess with that myself. I'm also not one who usually wears makeup, so I want someone else to do that for me, too. I don't want to look awful in these pictures, so I figure it's worth the investment.

pollystyrene
Sounds like things are coming along! What's your date again?

Buying your own booze definitely saves money. Will you be able to return anything that's unopened? If you can, make sure whoever's bartending knows that. My in-laws didn't mention it to the bartenders and they de-foiled all the bottles of wine to save themselves a step when they were serving...because they were de-foiled, we couldn't return any wine. My in-laws are still drinking wine from the wedding (and they drink a lot of wine!)
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