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pinkmartyr
is anyone having their dress made? i have been looking for dresses, and am not impressed with what i see on the racks and online. well, the styles are really pretty, just not what i want. one of the custodians at my work is a seamstress on the side. she teaches sewing to children, and has made two bridal gowns in addition to other clothing for folks. for christmas, she made me a neat handmade scarf. i was talking with her about gown shopping, and mentioned maybe wanting a custom dress, and she has offered her services. i know that she will not overcharge. we chat a lot at work, and i know we are on the same wavelength about a lot of things (like style and make up) so she would do a nice job. its just that i'd hate for something to go wrong in the dressmaking and for it to put stress on our work friendship. what do you guys think? i have a lot of time to decide, so its no rush to decide something right now.
pixiedust
Way back when I first started coming into this thread someone was having all kinds of problems with a dress they had made. My mom had to rework mine a bit and that was stressful enough. If you do decide to go that route, I would do it early! That means no rush job and time to do something else if it becomes necessary. Just make sure she leaves enough for alterations either way.

We are in the midst of Hell righ tnow. Murphy's law has dumped a big old steaming pile of shit on our door step. I can't belive I only have 5 days to pull this all back together. Grr!
pixiedust
Things are looking better today. Now I have just a few minor things to pick up. I have to remember to take my ring in tomoorow to be soldered. I will be naked without it! My inlaws are back in town and I think all is right with the wedding plans....for now. My mom and I sat down last night and I read over a service she performed for another couple. It was really great! I was very surprised that my mom wrote this service that wasn't pushing religion down your throat, and wasn't necessarily traditional either. I think it will be perfect for us! It actually enphasized everything that went wrong in my first marriage. Why didn't my mommy warn me the first time around?...oh yeah, she did and I didn't listen!
tommynomad
I'm glad your pile of shit has smoothed out, pixied.

pinkmartyr, she sounds like an ideal candidate to make your dress for you. Shenomad sewed her gown and has reaped the rewards: the dress she wants, an immense feeling of satisfaction, ownership, etc. She had never sewn a stitch before, either: just signed up for a class and did it. Count me impressed!
laurenann
my best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid last night! i'm psyched. she is very cool and swears her wedding will be laid back, though of course i know it'll be hard for her to not be a little bit of a control freak. i've never been a bridesmaid before - any advice?
wilhelminawonka
We had a hard time with finding a minister for us, because I wanted to get married at my family's church (I am a christian). Well, my aunt is the minister there, and I didn't want her to do it, so we asked a friend of the family. My husband went to meet him, and the minister said that he wouldn't marry us because my husband is not a Christian (!!!) I was so upset!
So, then my dad had one of his minister friends say he would do it. So we met with him, and we told him that my husband is not a christian, and we don't agree with what the bible says about women and their place in the family and everything. So he said that's fine, and we told him that we want to write the service ourselves. He said fine. So we did. It was so beautiful. We had readings from the Bible, from an Inuit wedding, from Traditional Native Teachings (I'm native, and we got married on the reserve) as well as things from the I-Ching. It was so nice.
Well, then the minister decided to throw in a bit of his own wisdom. It caught us totally by surprise. He decided to throw in a bit about men needing respect, and women only needing love I started squeezing my husband's hand so hard. And I was giving the minister dirty looks while he was saying it. So many people at the wedding have mentioned it to us since then. They're all like, "WTF" even the Christians. They say, "Where did he get that from?"
And we say, "We didn't write that part"
Everything else about the wedding was perfect. We even had a fainter!
Planning was pretty stressful, but it all came together beautifully and we had so much fun!
Oh, and we didn' have the "giving away" part, my dad walked with me down the aisle, but the minister said, "Who supports this couple in their marriage" and then everyone in our families said, "We do". It was really funny. It reminded me of the Stone Cutter Simpsons episode, "Who keeps the aliens underwraps. Weee dooo, Weee dooo"
raisingirl
Laurenann, back out now while you can! Kidding, sort of. I'm a MOH for a wedding this summer. I'm happy for the couple and honored that I was asked to be MOH, but honestly I will be so glad when it's all over. It costs a lot of money, the shower is a pain in the ass to plan, no one ever wears their bridesmaid dresses again, the bride will most likely develop Bridezilla tendencies (I've seen it happen with the most laid-back people), and you get to witness all of the stupid nit-picky things that go on behind the scenes when people lose focus of WHAT A WEDDING IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT.

But I love them and I'm looking forward to the day itself. :-)

I came in here to bitch about stupid dyeable shoes and the poor design, poor quality, and so on. Just overall crappy shoes I'd never buy in any other style or fabric. It's like their whole purpose is to just hold the dye, not support your feet or look cute when you walk or stand. Bah! I hate shitty shoes, and that's all I've seen while looking for dyeable ones.

I'm so convinced I'm going to elope if/when the time comes.

That is all.
pixiedust
Eloping sounds really good right about now. My MOH is getting off easy. I paid for the dress to be made, I don't care what shoes she wears and my bridal shower got cancelled because of a family emergency!

Right now I want: 1. my cold to go away 2. my face to completely clear up 3. All of the family crisis to be over 4. all of our siblings to stop fighting

I don't think i have really been a bridezilla, however I did chew on the girl at the jewlry store a bit tonight. Her first mistake was saying my ring MIGHT be done by Friday. Second was saying the soldering MIGHT be free if I could find my warrenty papers. At which time I clued her into the fact that it is indeed included in the cost of the ring and that my warrantee is on file in the store and everyone else that works there knows us by name. What really sent me over the edge was teh way she kept snapping her gum and looking at me with this stupid clueless look. I just wanted to tell her she was obviously in the wrong job and that the food court was across the way. Can you imagine buying a diamond from someone who is chewing gum and probably getting spit all over the place because she is loudly snapping it? Mr.P got onto me for being a bitch in the car. but really 4 days before my wedding is not the time to fuck with me.

crassy_mcnasty
just wanted to stop in to wish all the best to pixie on her upcoming nuptials. may the day be as wonderful as you deserve!
raskel
Good luck pixie!
pixiedust
Thanks guys! I think it will be better than I have even dreamed of. And of course the most important thing is that Mr. Pixie is truely the other half of me. And I love him more than I thought it was possible to love someone. He replaced two very important men in my life without any trouble and made me realize how much I have been missing all these years.
pixiedust
"I'm getting married in the morning, ding , dong the bells are gonna chime!" I am on my way to my facial and massage, just had to drop in and say I am having a lovely day before the wedding.
pixiedust
"I'm getting married in the morning, ding , dong the bells are gonna chime!" I am on my way to my facial and massage, just had to drop in and say I am having a lovely day before the wedding.
pixiedust
"I'm getting married in the morning, ding , dong the bells are gonna chime!" I am on my way to my facial and massage, just had to drop in and say I am having a lovely day before the wedding.
roseviolet
Hooray! Thanks for checking in, Pixie! Be sure to give our best to the groom!

[flings rose petals around Pixiedust as she gets her relaxing massage]
livelyupurself
(((((pixie)))) congrats and best wishes!
pinkmartyr
congrats to pixie!

i was just playing around the internet looking at invitations. we like the pocketfold style. i just requested a quote from cards and pockets that includes printing. anyone else looking through invitations? i want to have them professionally cut and printed, but assemble myself.
pixiedust
pink, we found teh invitations we liked on the internet too...and then we went to the tux place and they gave us 25% off of them. If you find one you like make sure to write down the name of the manufacturer and the style number. I also noticed the other day that Party America(formerly paper warehouse) does 25% off invitations too.

Can I just say, I am glad all the stress panning this is over and now I am happily married AND I CAN NOT WAIT FOR OUR HONEYMOON!
gumby_cc
Hey ladies....I've been sneaking around here for the past year or so :-)
but I finally have a question for you! I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my best friend, and it's probably the only time I'm ever going to be asked at all. I'm so happy for her and I really want to do it. But I've talked to a few people with experience who say that it's easy to drop $1k as a bridesmaid...and I don't have that kind of money. I've been trying to start a 401k for myself for two years and never even have had the money for that. The wedding isn't until next June, and at this point I don't even know the names of the other bridesmaids/maid of honor. So I want to do it, but I don't know if I can afford it. But I already said yes. I guess I'm just angsty about it. Does that sound right---that it could cost up to $1000 to be a bridesmaid?

I can't wait to see Pixie's pics!
pow
Gumby, the price adds up because of the bachelorette party (especially a destination party), lodging/travel expenses, and the dress+shoes. When i was a bridesmaid the party ran $800, hotel $400, and dress+shoes $200. Heh, it nearly cost more than my own wedding! Just ask what your friend has in mind for lodging and keep the b-party simple. Then it can be done within a budget :-)
roseviolet
Gumby, it can vary a lot. I've heard nightmarish stories, of course, but I had it easy the one time I was a bridesmaid (the bride bought our dresses for us & the wedding was in my town, so I know I spent less than $100 on the whole thing, including her barchelorette gift!). Most people don't get off that easy, though. If I were in your shoes, I'd definitely speak to the bride about it. I imagine she hasn't had a chance to think about what kind of expense she may be putting on her 'maids so she may not have an answer for you yet. But at least you'll get her thinking. And since she's your best friend, I imagine she'll definitely take your concerns to heart. Good luck!
bryghtlea
Hey there. I'm kinda new around here. I hope you ladies can help. I'm getting married May 27th of this year. Everything is all set except for the DJ. I can't find anyone I like for under $900, and I really don't have that kind of cash left for one that costs that much.

So I was thinking, I could make my own playlists. I have well over 300 albums. I was thinking of programming lists into my laptop or my neuros (80 gig portable mp3 player that can broadcast to FM). My friend is also going to play the piano for our entance and at the start of dinner.

What do you ladies think? I hope this will work. I'm worried about my speaker output, I hope it will be loud enough. I realize it's really late to be still deciding on a dj, it's just been so disheartening. Do you think my idea will work well?
raskel
Get a good set of external speakers with a subwoofer. It will cost you between 1 and $200 but the volume won't be an issue. Mr. raskel and I will end up doing the same if nobody wants to DJ our wedding for us for really cheap. Mr. Raskel makes electronic music, and we live in Detroit...so we know tons of DJ's fortunately...but yes, that is our alternate plan. Too bad he's working so much this month, or I'd have asked him to beatmatch a set for you over the next few weeks. I think you'll be happy with a mix of your own music anyway. Good luck!
bryghtlea
I have some cambridge soundworks speakers on my pc now, and that has a sub woofer with 2 satellites. I think it'll work, the building isn't like a huge hall so it should be enough. Raskel, lucky you, to live in an area with all that electronic music!
laurenann
i'm going to be a bridesmaid for my best friend next june, too, and am planning on spending about $1000 on the whole thing. we want to do a bachelorette party in los angeles and see "the price is right" - which is something we have been talking about doing since sophmore year of college! so it'll be expensive, but i love her and she'll do the same for me when i (finally) get married.
gumby_cc
I'm gonna talk to the bride this week about the money thing...
Your bridesmaid party sounds awesome, lauren. I've never been to the show, but there is a farmers market next to the studio and the food there is good---it's like Faneuil Hall, LA style :-) hee.
i kind of feel like a selfish bitch because hearing my friend's plans for her wedding is making me think about my future wedding (someday...), and I know now that even a ghetto wedding is out of my reach....and they only reason we wouldn't elope is because both of our grandmothers really want to be there (how could we disappoint a 96 year old woman?)...my parents aren't going to help me at all when the time comes, and my boyfriend and I can barely afford to pay our bills now....I guess I want to live vicariously through my girlfriend's wedding, because I know that's all I'll be getting.
sorry about the whining.
pixiedust
bryghtlea, we had a harpistthat wasonly $350 for the first 2 hours and after that Mr. pixie downloaded some music and burned it on to a disk. We ended up taking it on our honeymoon and listening to it in the car.

gumby, you can do a wedding on a budget a lot better than you think you can if you start planning early. Go to free bridal shows and pick and chose elements that are important to you and focus money on those things. Lots of things can be had on ebay and stuff these days fairly cheap. If you don't count the rings or the Bed and breakfast we stayed the wedding night, we spent less than $3000 and we had a fairly fancy wedding. As for the bridesmaid costs, it really depends on what the bride has in mind. The time I was a bridesmaid I only had to pay for my dress and the gifts I gave her. I paid for the bridesmaid dresses for both my weddings so my girls weren't out anything at all.
wilhelminawonka
Our wedding was awesome. Perfect. etc
Well, yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying that our marriage wasn't valid!! haa haa, oh shit.
Our minister was from the U.S. and we live in Canada. We asked him if it was okay, and we asked at the municipal office and everything, and it seemed like it was going to be all good.
Well, haa haa, a YEAR later, we find out we're not married at all!! HOLY SHIT! haa haa.

We're trying to get a lawyer on it to see if we have to do anything, but we think we might have another wedding just for fun. Not as extravagant as the first one, but just a nice party in the yard. I was hoping to find an excuse to have party this year, and I was presented with one yesterday!

Before our ceremony began we had some friends playing music for the crowd. We had a violinist and a guitar player, and they played rocking violin and acoustic guitar versions of songs by the doors, led zepplin, and Billy Idol. Then when we walked out at the end of the ceremony, they played "Don't stop believing" by journey. It was so awesome!

pinkmartyr
wilhelmina, i admire your good attitude! i say throw another party.

at the end of next month, i'm going to ask some ladies to be bridesmaids. i've seen the "be my bridesmaid" cards online, but instead bought a pack of blank cards made from arches watercolor paper in order to create my own. the cards that the knot has are $18, and i got my arches cards on clearance at michaels for $4. i was thinking about getting a cool rubber stamp for the cover image, and hand-watercoloring it differently for each girl. any ideas on what my stamp could be? i was thinking about something vintage or mod looking...any stamp retailers you like online? on the inside of the card, i want to write "mr. pinkmartyr and i would be honored to have you as a brideswoman in our wedding on april 7, 2007."
any thoughts?
any special ways you all invited your bridesmaids?
raskel
Doesn't Michaels have a huge section of stamps usually? I'd just look around there, something will catch your eye.

I'm not having bridesmaids...
roseviolet
Wilhemina, that is truly bizarre! But I'm happy to see you're keeping a positive attitude. And just think ... you and your husband will have TWO wedding anniversaries! More opporunities for gifts! Hooray! :-)

Like Raskel, I didn't have any bridesmaids. We kept our wedding very small & there really wasn't room for anyone else up in front of that fireplace, anyway!

Honestly, Pink, when I was asked to be a bridesmaid, it was done over the phone. I was also asked in-person once. I could ask around, but I imagine 99% of the time, that's basically how it's done. It's not the sort of thing that's done formally. So I doubt there will be any stamps out there geared towards what you're doing. But if you already have a style, theme, or colors in mind for the wedding itself, I'd definitely use those.
gumby_cc
I talked to my friend (future bride), and just got a sense of what she was planning for her wedding....just talking to her made me realize that it really doesn't matter how much it costs, I really want to be a bridemaid for her and she wants me to be one....and she's paying for the wedding all herself and she knows what kind of financial situations we are all in, and she'll be sensitive to that. It's just a huge weight off my chest. And I'm finally really excited about doing it without all these nagging reservations about whether I can afford it or not. Whew!
raskel
As time goes on, I keep wanting my wedding to be smaller and smaller, and hey...what's wrong with eloping anyway?? Mr. Raskel wants a wedding of some sort, and keeps telling me that I deserve a wedding. I'd be happy with a vacation to the mountains and an officiant. I guess well see. Maybe Mr. Raskel should work out the details of this wedding and leave me with the typical groom's duty - figure out what I'm wearing and show up on time.
pinkmartyr
so what do you think of wearing a short dress?
i found one that is perfect in every way, but the length is just below the knee. in the beginning, i was totally open to a short dress, but my mom said it would be "improper" because i was having an evening wedding. i really believe all those rules are antiquated, anyway, and we should all just make the decisions that are meaningful to us. anyway, this is the dress:

http://www.kiyonna.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=KK2003&Prod uct_Code=Wedding_Short_Lace_Dress&sblid=Wedding_Short_Lace_Dress&Category_Code=B ridal_Dresses

here is another dress on the site i liked a lot. its really similar.

http://www.kiyonna.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=KK2003&Prod uct_Code=Wedding_Scalloped_Lace_Dress&Category_Code=Bridal_Dresses

thoughts?
ambercherry
i love that dress, pinkmartyr! personally, i kind of like the longer length dress (and that's just because i've always liked long dresses/skirts), but i think you should go with what you're comfortable with. what season are getting married in?

i'm getting married next fall, and thought about unconventional dresses. before i was even engaged, i thought it would be fun to get married in a fuschia dress, or even lime green. but now, i'm thinking of ivory. occasionally, on the web, i'll come across a beautiful deep red dress, and i'm thinking of maybe burgundy as a colour for my dress. who knows.

but anyway, i think you should go with what you want and what you're comfy in - this is in part, your day! :-)
lot49
cod, I've been engaged since last August and I'm getting married in a month, and I've hardly even been in here. I just haven't felt like talking about wedding planning...I don't know what my problem is. I think I intended to be very low-maintenance and easy-going, and I have been (relatively), but I have to admit that I feel like we're putting the bulk of our planning into making sure no one is going to be too inconvenienced/uncomfortable/offended... everything from invitation wording to music selections. Is anyone else feeling like this?

We ordered favors last week, which was fun -- we're getting married in Vermont, so we got little maple syrup favors in heart-glass bottles (on this page, it's the 4th picture). For our table assignments, we're giving guests heart-shaped ornaments made of paper with wildflower seeds imbedded in them -- the paper can be planted and will grow flowers.

pinkmartyr, you've probably made a decision already at this point, but that dress is fantastic! I love the idea of a short dress. And I agree, the rules are antiquated and we should make decisions that are meaningful to us, (though given what I just said above, that's obviously harder said than done for me). But especially with your dress -- that really should reflect what you want, not what is strictly proper.

Ambercherry, my dress is ivory, though it really looks white unless you hold it against something that's very white. I got one of the J-Crew dresses, so it's not the most original -- but it fit perfectly, with no alterations, and also fit my budget. I'm also wearing very tall red-velvet shoes, which is my little move against tradition.
ambercherry
lot49, i love the idea of red velvet shoes!! what a fabulous way to incorporate some colour. and the dress is lovely, too.

i'm trying to keep things low maintenance, too. and our wedding is not for another year and a bit, but i love talking about it! i think it's because the engagement is new, and everything right now is really new and relatively stressless (in part, i think, because the wedding is more than a year away).

i feel the same way, lot, with the not wanting to inconvenience anyone, especially my bridesmaids. i'm trying to make decisions that will please all of them and sit well with everyone. and we're having an out of town wedding (only an hour out of town), so i hope that's not going to be too troublesome for our guests.

i have a question though, i'm trying to get as much done in the way of planning/purchasing that i can right now, since i will be heading back to school in the fall and want to focus on that...is it too too early to be looking for a dress? (getting married sept 2007) i've heard you should start looking about a year prior - but what about purchasing a little more than a year prior?

lot49
thanks amber! I think it's perfectly fine to get a dress a year-plus out. You may want to consider things like the venue and the style of your wedding (i.e., are you barefoot in the park or in a swanky hotel?) when you look for a dress, but I think that most dresses are appropriate for most types of weddings. (Oh, and it sounds like you know your venue already anyway.)

The fact that you're planning this far out should make things much easier for your bridesmaids. We decided pretty early on to not have bridesmaids and groomsmen, thinking that it would be more casual and low-key that way...I have missed having a group of friends to "work on" the wedding with me, but I think I would be driving myself crazy trying to accommodate them. That seems to be my M.O.

And an hour away is nothing -- people will be happy to come. We're having a really out of town wedding -- we live in California and are having it in Vermont! But nearly everyone else is coming from the east coast or Chicago, so we felt like it would be a pretty convenient for everyone (except us of course!). We sent out save-the-date cards 6 months in advance in order to give people plenty of notice for making plans.

So far, mrlot has a couple of elderly relatives who can't come, but almost everyone else has been fine with the travel and even excited about it. The exception being my mom, who was very vocal about how unhappy she was about having to travel at all, even though it's only an hour flight for her. In retrospect, I think she was mostly upset about us having the wedding close to where mrlot's parents live (yes, it is as immature as it sounds, unfortunately). She's been very moody about the wedding ever since -- she got a huge kick out of my shoes, but couldn't care less when I tried to involve her in how to phrase the invitations, for example. And she refused to invite any of her friends, because she thinks it would be a huge transgression for her to suggest to anyone that they consider uprooting themselves for my wedding - it'll just be her and my brother attending from my side (aside from my friends). Actually, as I'm writing this, I realize that she's kind of sucked a lot of the joy out of it for me, sadly.

Well, I obviously needed that rant, but I'm sorry to subject the thread to it.
roseviolet
I really should check this thread more often. I just love reading about Bustie weddings & I want to keep the thread alive.

Pink, that short dress is really really pretty! As for appropriateness, I think that has a lot to do with what the groom is wearing. If he's in a traditional tux with a bow tie & the whole bit, than you're untraditional dress will look out of place. But if he's dressed more casually, I think you can easily pull it off .. especially since the length goes below the knee.

Lot, I adore your dress and shoes! Simply scumptious. I especially love wedding shoes that can be worn again after the wedding day. Personally, I wore pink shoes for my wedding & I still wear them out sometimes (they look super cute with jeans). I also think your favors are perfect. I'm sure your guests will love it.

Amber, I think having the wedding an hour out of town isn't a big deal as long as the festivities don't run too late. As long as the major things (like dinner and cutting the cake and such) are done by 9 or 10, you'll be okay. That way some of your guests can leave & have time to drive back to town without feeling too tired &/or guilty about bailing early.

As for getting the dress early ... I think you can get it if you're already well set on the style you're wanting and if your body size is pretty stable. I just suggest that you wait to have alterations done until a couple of months before the wedding in case your body changes a bit. Also, once you've bought the dress, DO NOT return to the bridal shops "just to look". I know people who've done this & they alwaysalwaysalways get tempted by the new dresses in the shops. Don't torture yourself like that!

Lot, I'm sorry your mother is being so petty about the wedding. There seems to be one of those in every family (For me, it was my favorite cousin, who got upset about the stupidest thing imaginable & eventually decided not to attend my wedding). My husband's family had to travel over six time zones to attend our wedding & none of them complained the teeny tiniest bit, so we were very lucky for that.

I have to admit ... my mother sucked a lot of the joy out of my wedding planning, too, but in a completely different way. My mother was just sooooo so happy I was marrying Sheff that she was floating on a cloud the whole time. Unfortunately, that meant that I had to be grounded and serious all the time. She offered to help (because I was working full time & because Sheff didn't have an American driver's license yet), but she would often drop the ball. I repeatedly had to beg her to please just help - just stop blabbering about how damn romantic it is and just fucking help - so that maybe I wouldn't yank all of my hair out. I felt that she was able to behave like the happy bride, foating on a cloud in delirious joy, while I was forced to freak out and stress about everything. Drove me nuts.
ambercherry
thanks for the advice on the dress buying, gals! roseviolet, i have taken all of things into consideration. my body size doesn't fluctuate all that much, and i think i have decided on a certain style. it worries me a tinsy amount that i always wanted a ballgown style dress, and now i'm more wanting a sheath style. which makes me wonder if i will change my mind again down the road. it helps that the ballgown style doesn't really match my personality or really doesn't look that great on me, though. i think if i stick to a simple design and one that doesn't require a lot of special lingerie, i should be fine. (and i definately agree about returning after a purchase to look at other gowns! by the time i buy something, i'll probably be pooped out and not want to look at another gown, and start focussing on bridemaids dresses). :-)

i just bought a wedding magazine (can't remember which one), and there is an article titled "i hate my dress!", i think, about a bride to be that hates her dress and all the advice offered to her about altering it. at least i think that's what it's about, but i'm looking forward to reading it.

and thanks for the advice about the out of town thing and wrapping things up at a reasonable time so people have time to drive home. it didn't cross my mind, although i'm sure it would have at some point.

lot, that's too bad about your mom. sorry you're going through that! unfortunately you can't accomodate everyone (but it's crappy that it's your mom that's the least happy about the travelling), and i'm sure most people won't mind travelling a little to celebrate your special day!
pinkmartyr
the new dress i'm considering:

http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?keywordText=mia+marie&searchId=187093984 5&keywordType=any&pageSize=8&page=1&style=J129

i tried it on at a store today. with the right accessories, i think it could go toward "old hollywood glam," which is my flavor of the week, dress-wise. i'd have the store's seamstress make a little jacket to go with it, or maybe a sleeve because i've got major upper arm issues.

thanks to everyone who gave their opinions on the dresses i posted. in the end, i decided that the short dress wasn't what i was looking for (its an evening wedding, and i wanted something more elegant) and the long dress was too much dress for my body. i'm sure there are other girls out there who would look perfect in those dresses, though. they are quite a find for plus-size girls, it seems we always have a harder time finding pretty stuff. our wedding is next april. tommorrow i am going to a wedding gown consignment store. i am also planning to look at the watters and watters gowns, but i am most excited about an appointment i have at the end of the month to meet with a lady who re-makes vintage bridal gowns. i don't have to decide til october!

lot, i feel you on the issues with your mom. every time we do something my future MIL's way, my mom gets mad. for example, future MIL suggested a certain hotel for the reception. although it was in a location i previously had not considered, i ended up loving it and booked it. my mom threw a fit about that. her latest thing is nitpicking over who my future MIL has put on their part of the guest list. what upsets me most is when my mom talks about getting all mouthy/in future MIL's face during the wedding weekend if future MIL does something that my mom considers "out of line." i'm even embarrassed to tell you guys that. so i totally understand when you say your mom is sucking the joy out. i have even started to limit my time over at her house because of it. we need to do what we feel is right. we are both doing a good job and our moms need to get over themselves. :-)

ambercherry, congrats on your engagement! i got engaged around a year and a half before the wedding date we ended up choosing. during the first few months, i looked through a lot of the magazines to choose imagery/feelings/aesthetics that interested me, and began trying on gowns to see what complemented my body type. its also a good time to look at venues, if you don't already have those picked out.




lot49
My post from the weekend got eaten (that's what I get for coming into the lounge thru the back door when the front door was clearly marked "closed"). But I wanted to say that pinkmartyr, I lovelovelove that dress! It's gorgeous!!! Old hollywood glam for sure. I also wanted to add that rosev's post about not looking at dresses after you have one is solid advice -- Just looking at that dress online made me want to cheat on the one I've already bought.

And also, thanks for the support on the mom issue everyone. And pinkmartyr, I'm so sorry for your issues as well. My mom is also super-sensitive about anything that goes my MIL's way, but at least she's just passive agressive about it -- she may make me feel guilty for the rest of my life, but at least I know she won't start a fight with my in-laws! Really, reading about your mom getting pumped up to get in your MIL's face just broke my heart -- I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that.
zora
I'd like your opinion on something, everyone. Ben and I have been kinda bantering the idea around of getting married and we agreed on a song that would be an awesome wedding march. We want the theme of the wedding to be either fire, or the four elements. Now, the wedding march song is four minutes long which is kind of lengthy, but I thought it would be neat to have fire dancers walking down the asile. My rough idea is, pairing of bridesmade and groomsman, pairing, fire dancers, one more pairing and then me and my dad. Is this totally tacky? Or kind of cool? I can't decide if it's too over the top.
Although it will ensure that all of my relatives will hate my wedding. Awesome. smile.gif
pixiedust
I know a lot of my wedding planning got eaten in the last thread cleanup...but I thought I would post my wedding album in here. We spent less than $5k by just concentrating on certain elements of the wedding instead of going over the top on everything.my wedding album
roseviolet
Zora, what a dramatic idea! I think the major concern is your location for the ceremony. I imagine you'll have a really really hard time finding a location that will allow it. Definitely keep that in mind! Nowadays, lots of locations don't even allow you to throw birdseed, confetti, or rose petals (yes, even outdoors!), so you may find that having open flames at your ceremony may be a major road block when it comes to finding a location. If nothing else, maybe there's a way you can take out some sort of specialty insurance policy for the day just in case something goes wrong. If a location knows that they're covered, they might be more flexible.

The theme itself sounds truly fantastic, though! How are you thinking of encorporating the other elements?

Pixie, LOVE the pics! Hooray!!!
pinkmartyr
i was in the midst of a post to you girls when my computer froze, so i'll cross my toes while writing this post.

zora, i think your firedancer idea is awesome. i'll have to agree with roseviolet, though, that a venue may challenge you on this due to liability. perhaps the friendliest venue would be outdoors, and you might offer to provide a few firefighters on-site for their peace of mind? the four elements theme is very cool- tons of possibilities! definitely pursue the fire dancers and find out the logistics, let us know what you find out.

lot, i've been pricechecking that maggie sottero gown, and the lowest price i can find for the dress only is $649. another bridal salon offers a price of $1000 which would include dress storage, two pressings, and all alterations for that flat fee. i get the feeling that i could ebay the dress for around $600. all of these are out of my price range... i'm still going to keep the dress in mind, and maybe try to find a similar style. there are still a couple of things for me to check out, esp. the watters and watters gowns. i bet your gown is beautiful! what does it look like?

pixie, lovely pictures, especially your solo bridal portraits. you looked great!
zora
Yeah Ben and I were talking about locations and who we can get to let us have tons of fire and all the logistics. Like, if we have it in the summer so it can be outside and at night, then there's fire danger. Ha. Joke's on me, assholes! So, we have to figure it out, because instead of boquets I want torches.
I was thinking a little about the other elements and how I could incorporate them. Not too many ideas right now. The farthest I've gotten is thinking about colors and how to make them represent the four.
Thanks for all your input! Ya'll are cool.
pinkmartyr
Sorry to be a thread-hog, but I could really use a hand with a difficult situation....
My Fiancee and I were asked to be in the wedding of some friends. The bride announced that she would be ordering our gowns from a discount outlet online, and asked all of the ladies to measure themselves so that she could order the correct size. We each paid the bride separately. Our dresses arrived last week, and not only does mine not fit, something is wrong with the zipper. I have not gained weight- in fact, I have lost 5 pounds since my measurements were taken, and the zipper simply has a sticking point and looks as if it was not sewn in correctly.
I contacted the bride and tride to be as tactful as possible. I told her that the dress is lovely and looks nice, but explained the problems. She informed me that the dress does not fit 3 out of her 4 bridesmaids, and that we have three choices: 1) Find a way to wear the original gown, 2) purchase another gown in a similar style to wear, or 3) Step down from being a bridesmaid. The dresses cannot be returned or exchanged, which she knew which she knew upon ordering. Any way you look at it, the zipper in my gown needs to be replaced, so even if I found a way to wear the gown, I'd have to pay for unusual alterations (I obviously expected to need to pay to alter the bust or length, but not the zipper), and I'm not sure the dress could be let out at all to compensate for the too-small size. I don't feel like I should have to buy another dress to wear when I've already paid $150 for the original dress, nor can I afford to pay for another dress since I will also need to buy shoes and other neccessities.
I've explained my feelings to the bride as civilly as possible. After re-iterating the three choices and stating there was no way she could give me my money back for the gown, she immediately called my Fiancee to re-hash everything to him before we had a chance to talk about it amongst ourselves. In response, he is acting as a "mediator" of sorts and help me to see the situation as clearly as possible. How can I solve the problem of the dress, and how can I address the bride? What is the fair thing for me to do?
lot49
(((pinkmartyr))) that situation sucks.

The "fair" thing to do, in my opinion, is to get a quote on the unusual alterations and ask the bride to take on these charges (or at least to split them with you if you don't feel like being quite so antagonistic). Make it clear to her that you don't want to step down, but that there's simply a finite amount of cash that you can spend -- the decision to order from an outlet was her decision, so the repurcussions should be her responsibility. The fact that she's offering stepping down to you as a "solution" makes it sound like she either really doesn't care if you're a bridesmaid or like she's trying to call your bluff in some way...I would be mortified if I had put someone in this position, but she seems to be shrugging it off.

You said that you're friend with the couple. Are you close? Will she be in your bridal party? Do you know if she's really shrugging it off or maybe she's overwhelmed by other things? How long do you have until the wedding?

At any rate, you might want to get a quote on the alterations before you bring it up again...I've had a few zippers replaced that weren't too expensive (though I'm sure it depends on the fabric and the placement).

zora, I love the fire idea -- regarding logisitcs, you could probably get away with people carrying those outdoor tiki torches. There are a bunch of gas & oil burning torches at itorches.com.

pixie, I lurve your pics! The decor and the dresses and the cake were all gorgeous!

pollystyrene
3 out of the 4 dresses didn't fit, it was her decision to go with the online place that has a crappy return policy and she's giving you the option of dropping out? Sorry, but unless this were my sister or my bestest friend, I'd drop out and she'd look ridiculous with one bridesmaid (not that I'm criticizing people's number of bridesmaids, but it will look pretty obvious when there's 4 groomsmen and one bridesmaid)....like Maya Angelou says, "when people show you who they are, believe them the first time." Sounds like she doesn't value her friends very much. But I like lot's idea of finding a compromise in splitting the cost of the alterations, if she doens't take on the entire cost herself.

What do the other bridesmaids say?
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