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pollystyrene
((stargazer)) that sucks. I'm sorry. I've got family stuff tomorrow, but what do you have going on Saturday? sad.gif

Sorry about your friend, too, kitten.

(((hugs to everyone)))
culturehandy
*delurks*

I see it is Amilita's Birfday, so HAPPY BIRFDAY!

(((((star))))) I'm so sorry to hear.

(((((kvetchies))))

*relurks*

sassygrrl
((amilitia)))

I didn't see your bday! Happy bday!

It's raining here, we'll postpone.

Star, how ya doin??
I hope everyone has a great extended weekend! Off to take the dog to the vet. Need more vibes please... sorry I've been so memme lately. I feel so guilty. I've just been an anxious mess lately.

Undies: None yet.


((kvetchies))
candycane_girl
((((((amilita))))))) Happy Birthday! And as the song goes, you can cry if you want to.

((((((star)))))) do you have other interviews lined up? I hope you're doing okay.

((((((sassy and doggy))))))

(((((kitten))))) stay strong.

kvetch: I wanted to make Easter eggs today but my mom is insisting that I wait until tomorrow because eggs will be on sale super cheap. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't really be making happy colourful eggs on Good Friday anyway.

kvetch: I can't fully enjoy this weekend because I have a take home exam to work on. Meh.

last kvetch: I feel bitchy and I felt like I was giving my parents attitude. I didnt' mean to but sometimes I just blurt things out. Also I'm still a bit sick so I feel grumpy.

undies: ginormous black ones from yesterday because I have not yet bothered to shower.

((((((((kvetchies)))))))))
stargazer
Happy Birthday Amilita!!!

Thanks for the support. smile.gif

(((kittenb))) Just think, after tomorrow, you will be with the Geek.

*~*~*healing vibes for bailey*~*~*

(((sassy))) I hope McGeek and you can do something fun and relaxing this weekend since you are not going to the Mountains.

(((ccgirl))) a take home on a long weekend? that sucks.

(((polly))) saturday, i'm helping kittenb move out of her place. i think i might be pooped after that. i'll let you know if anything changes. thanks dude!

(((sidecar))) thanks!

kvetch: eh. i was really depressed yesterday. cried ALOT. my stomach is upset.

antikvetch: so, i'm trying to push forward. just take things as they come with available positions. it is the best for me mentally speaking. so, yeah, i'm not really up to talking about it anymore. i'll just probably say something from now one when i actually get a position. it just causes me too much anguish.

i hope everyone has a great passover/easter weekend!
pollystyrene
Oooooh, so full of food. We had Passover dinner at my cousin's house (the one who's also my boss) tonight. I made the matzo ball soup. It was a Thai-inspired version. It was really good and everyone liked it. Our friend Jonathan came with us, too. His late father's side of the family was Jewish (and his mom, also deceased, was Irish, so the same combination I have.)

Poor LeBoy- he left early because an old high school friend was having his bachelor party tonight. He knew it would probably be some place with alcohol and/or nudity. He's only been to one other strip club and that was for his brother's bachelor party. He hated every second of it- mostly because he has OCD (germs) issues and strip clubs are pretty skanky. He's also not really interested in strange naked women. So, tonight, they went to this place called The Pink Monkey (hee hee, I do love the name!) and it's supposed to be sort of an "upscale" strip club. He was worried about some of the people he was with pressuring him into getting a lap dance or something, but they didn't. Mostly because they didn't have to- these girls were aggressive enough and didn't need any encouragement. They'd just come up to guys and sort of force themselves on them. He sort of positioned his chair so he was in the corner, so they couldn't really get to him. His friend who he went with (not the one getting married, but his other close h.s. friend) got stuck talking to one of them for about a half-hour (with her trying to get this to lead to a lap dance.) He really, really wasn't interested in her, but she wouldn't go away. Finally, he threw LeBoy under the bus, and said, "hey, my friend here is getting married in a few months!" LeBoy had stood up from his seat a few minutes before that because he could tell this girl wasn't taking no for an answer. When she turned her attention towards LeBoy, he made up an excuse and went towards the door. She went after him, grabbed him by the belt loop, and tried to get him to come back in. He very politely told her he wasn't interested and really needed some air. She unbuttoned his top two shirt buttons and put her hand on his chest, and rubbed it suggestively. He had to get a little more assertive and told her "no" and walked out. He's really quite pissed about it- like they're not allowed to touch the girls (not that he would anyway) and this one won't take no for an answer and is undressing him? mad.gif

*Sigh*

Well, I'm exhausted from cooking all day. Time for bad.
kittenb
Hello all! I am reporting from the happily almost totally moved in place of The Geek's sofa. With Stargazer's fantastic help, all of my (non-furniture) stuff has either been moved to his apartment or put in storage. Next weekend, The Geek and I are taking care of my furniture. I am very very tired, like, can't lift my arms tired, but very happy as well. I ran to the grocery store for a very random dinner of pizza rolls and chicken cordon bleu...bits?...balls?...some sort of appitizers. Add to that some wine and How I Met Your Mother on DVD and we are having a great evening. biggrin.gif

polly - that really sucks that LeBoy was treated so rudely. I wonder why that happened that way?

Too tired to properly vibe but best wishes to all!
quantumspice
FWIW, star, if clawing things is an issue, you can get caps that slip over the nails and stops them from wrecking things. (Soft Paws is one name brand.) My cat kept chewing them off, to the point that I went through 6 months worth in 2 weeks, so it didn't work for me, but it might work for you.
roseviolet
Drive by!

Sheff and I are back from our trip to Kentucky. We had a really nice time. We lucked out because a lot of family members ended up visiting because of the holiday. As a result, there were 19 people at Easter lunch! That's a really huge number for our little family.

Now I'm back home, catching up on random stuff and loving on my needy, cuddly cat. I'll have to catch up with you all later.
stargazer
Thanks for the soft paw suggestions!

Kitty is doing great with his kitty condo. One of the poles is made of sisal rope and is over 30 in. high so he climbs it, giving his claws a workout. He never scratched any furniture. He is a good kitty. I just have nervous parents. wink.gif

(((kitten))) are you feeling settled in your new place? smile.gif


(((polly))) poor leboy! that sounds awful. really. sad.gif

Hi qspice! *waves*

(((rose))) good to hear sheff and you had a good time!

as kitten stated, i helped her move saturday. i only suffered one moving injury, bruise on right arm and one chipped nail. that's pretty good for moving alot of stuff! smile.gif i came home, took a disco nap, and went back out. don't know where i got the energy from. i had a really good evening. it was a lovely day out. i was glad i got to spend time with kitten and the Geek. after a day of being out all day, i'm surprised i wasn't that sore on sunday. go me!

antikvetch: this week feels different for me. don't know what it is.

(((kvetchies)))
candycane_girl
Hi, ladies. I'm sorry to come in here and hijack the thread but I don't really know where else to post. I can't seem to reach my boyfriend. I left here on Thursday to go home for Easter weekend. I called him on Saturday and left a message asking him to call back or send me an email. I figured that he was busy because he likes to work out a lot on Saturdays. On Sunday I still didn't get any response from him. By yesterday morning I was kind of pissed but I didn't show it. I just sent him an email asking him to please get in touch with me so we could make plans to hang out. I called his place last night a few times and there was no answer. I doubt that he would be avoiding me because things have been fine and he doesn't have call display anyway. I called again this morning and there was still no answer so I left a message and sent him another email.

I realize that this might sound kind of obsessive now that I type it out but it's just soooo out of character for him to not get in touch with me. I have no idea if he's okay or not and I'm upset because I can't seem to get in touch with him at all. Also I don't have any of his friends' phone numbers so I can't even call them (he usually hangs with one of his friends every weekend). I'm just really upset right now and I don't even know what I should be doing. Sorry. This sounds so stupid but I'd just appreciate some vibes or something.

(((((kvetchies)))))
futura
((((Candycane))))) Even if it's out of character, there may be perfectly reasonable explanations from his side. But i can see why you're worried. Do you have the phone number of his parents? Or family?
candycane_girl
I have the number of his grandparents (he was raised by them) but they live 4 hours away in our hometown. I am worried sick right now but I'm just hoping and praying that there is some kind of reasonable explanation and that he'll call or something.
futura
You still haven't heard from him? I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sending vibes and i hope he turns up soon. ((((((((Candy)))))))
designermedusa
((ccgirl)) I hope your boyfriend gets in contact with you soon. I think it is reasonable to be worried, I know I would be if I could not reach a loved one.
candycane_girl
He finally reached me. He emailed me from the library to tell me that his phone/internet service has been fucked up so that's why he couldn't reach me before. I was so worried, I'm just so thankful that he's okay. Thanks for the vibes. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life.
pollystyrene
I've gone into nearly-full-panic-mode when LeBoy is a more than a couple hours late coming home from work, so don't feel bad. We live together, so it's a little different when you're used to a pattern, though. Glad he's okay.
yuefie
Whew, candy, you must be majorly relieved! I am a natural born worrier, so I am no stranger to that kind of dread and the scenarios that can run through your mind. Just glad to hear that he is okay and so are you.

((((kvetchies))))) I have some archives to read and catching up to do, but for now here are some
~~~~~all purpose mega strength vibes for each and every one of YOU~~~~~~

kittenb
{{{candycane_girl}}} glad to hear it all ended well. I, too, am a big worrier so no judgement here.

{{{star}}} glad to hear that you weren't sore on Sunday. I could barely raise my arms. Thanks again for all of your help!

{{{polly, dm, futura, rv, all kvetchies}}}

I am settling in very well at The Geek's. We crashed very early on Saturday and Sunday was Easter stuff. Today I unpacked some stuff and made the living room look more like I lived here as opposed to looking like I just threw all of my stuff on the floor. rolleyes.gif The cats have recovered and are prancing around like they own the place. Olivia spend many hours hiding under the bed and hissing at all of us so this change is appreciated. Now I just have to finish cleaning my old place and moving my furniture into storage and write a research paper and then April will be over and I can sleep.

Have a great week all!



futura
Glad to hear your man is okay, Candycane!

Nothing much here. I need to take a shower. And get myself out of the house.
stargazer
(((candy))) so good to hear your bf is ok! i'm sure your head was going in so many directions. i hope you are feelinge better.

(((yuefie))) good to see you! i've missed you posting in here. smile.gif

(((kitten))) good to hear you are settling in ok. i hope you take advantage this summer of living so close to the lake!

Hi Futura and Polly!

I took the kitten into the Anti Cruelty clinic today to get his snip snip. I was such the nervous mama driving him there. He was shaking, but, seemed to do well once we got there. So many cute furbabies there! I know in the near future I want a doggie. There was a dog there with a cute hoodie on! Yes, I will be the type of dog owner that dresses up her dog. tongue.gif

(((kvetchies)))
Christine Nectarine
WARNING: long winded, self-indulgent post coming.

I’ve been so distracted lately. This is proving to be one of those weeks with a lot of “discussions”. Last week I was a wreck about work, and finding myself totally burnt out. Since the weekend, A and I have been doing lots of sorting out about our relationship/living situation/family/careers etc. To make a (really) long story short, what it has all boiled down to is that we’ve reached the point of needing to move to the “next level”. We’ve outgrown our space, I need to change jobs, and A needs to move ahead in his. Kiddo’s school arrangement is only confirmed for this year. We need to MOVE. A has been hesitant for a while to seriously consider buying a house, but the various discussions led us to figure out that his hang-ups were largely due to frustration caused by the confines of our current location, and moving would be the best solution.
I think we are ready! It’s a huge relief.

On the other hand, it’s really daunting, and already starting to stress me out. I keep reminding myself that we were at this point 2 years ago, when I had just graduated, and we were still living with his parents. We just slogged through all the research, budgeting and decision making, and things came together surprisingly quickly. It was a great change at the time.
We started making lists last night, which felt great. We are totally on the same page priority wise. Hopefully what we have in mind is possible. We’re going to go neighbourhood hunting this weekend.
I’m so relieved to be feeling happy in my relationship. I haven’t talked much about it, but things have been so tense lately. Work still sucks, and it’s so much easier to handle when I feel supported at home. We haven’t been fighting, but A has been so distant. We weren’t even having sex, which has never happened before if we weren’t fighting, or one of us was sick, and NEVER for so long. He had seemed to lose all interest (not just in sex, but in me entirely) and I was pretty sure it wasn’t really about me, and it’s so good to know I was right.

I’m trying not to be too anxious or overwhelmed right now. I’m anticipating a lot of vibe requests as plans get rolling. Any successful house hunting tales or tips would be appreciated!
I don’t feel like I am accurately describing what has been going on, or just what I’m feeling right now. My mind has been racing since yesterday, so this is my attempt to make sense of it.



I think this is when I need to thank you all for being here is this wonderful space where a gal can go on about whatever needs to be gone on about!

(((((kvetchies))))
candycane_girl
((((((((christine))))))))) vibes for everything that you just wrote about! I'm glad you were able to talk and figure out what some of the issues were. As for getting a house, good luck a million times over. All the neighbourhoods that I like in Toronto have homes that are $1 million or so. And the homes are so not worth it.

kvetch: I've gone from feeling totally worried about the boyfriend to relieved to annoyed. I understand that he can't really get in touch with me but I haven't seen him at all since I got back. I know he's stressed out right now due to money issues and he wanted to give me time to study but I just really wanted to see him. I guess it didn't occur to him that he could have called me using a pay phone. I just feel like I'm the one who's always chasing after him. Ever since the beginning I've been the one to make the plans and everything and I think he likes it that way.

Sorry, this is stuff that should go more in the relationship thread. I just avoid it now because the last time I posted in there I got stupid advice about how he should want to be with me 24/7.


kittenb
{{{Christine}}} That is a BIG amount of discussion! I am glad that it all came out okay, though. Or at least it seems good to me. All of the new stuff can cause big stresses but it sounds like a lot of positive change is in the works.

{{{candycane_girl}}} Honestly, I would be annoyed as well. It sounds like it might be time to talk about communication, checking in, that sort of thing. It is only very recently that The Geek and I started talking everyday (not counting texts.) Our schedules conflicted and he is really terrible on the phone. I swear he comes down w/accute ADD and feels compelled to ten other things when I call him on the phone. It annoys me so much that I finally just had to accept that he does not like talking on the phone.

{{{star}}} Glad the kitty survived the snipping. Yes, I belive that you would dress up your dog.

I tweaked my back yesterday, pretty painfully. All I was doing when it went was zipping up my pants. Now the jeans fit snug but not so snug that it should have causes muscle pain. dry.gif I am pretty sure that I weakened the spot carrying way too much stuff on Tuesday. It is my weak spot on my back, down the inner right side of my shoulder. The effects are creeping up my neck and down my hip. So I am getting a massage pretty soon. This might sound weird from a former massage therapist, but I am always nervous about trying a new therapist. I need a gentler touch than some therapists like to provide. However, the woman I booked went to the same school I did, so I feel somewhat more secure about it.

Have a great day all.
roseviolet
Kitten, congrats on the big move! Glad to hear that the cats are settling in so well. Good luck tying of the last few loose ends.
~~~~~ soothing for Kitten's back ~~~~~

CCGirl, I'd be annoyed, too. I don't think you're being unreasonable or needy. You simply want to have your feelings reciprocated. You want him to do something that proves that he wants to spend time with you, that he thinks of you occasionally when you're not around. You want him to put as much energy into this relationship as you are. Nothing wrong with that. Good luck getting him to alter his behavior, though. It's hard to convince someone to think of things that normally never come to mind.

Christine, how exciting! Two years ago at this time, I was house hunting so I remember how stressful (and fun) it could be. I have TONS of advice I could give you, but I won't throw it all at you right now because I don't want to overwhelm you.

Are you in the US? If so, have either you or A owned a home before? Because I hear there are excellent tax benefits for first-time home buyers this year. Plus interest rates are amazingly low right now, so even if housing prices haven't fallen in your area, you should still benefit.

First of all, you need to check your credit score. Your score will determine your mortgage rate and, in turn, how much house you can afford. My BestGuyPal - who is also a financial advisor - told me to go to MyFICO.com. You can sign up and check all of your credit details there - both the reports and the scores. I think they let you monitor your credit info for free for the first 30 days or so & then if you want to keep their service they charge about $90 a year. If you don't want to pay the annual fee, you have to remember to opt out before the free period runs out. The details may have changed, so read the website for more info. Once you can see your credit report, check it for mistakes. I found some of my parents' debt on mine, so we had to call & get that fixed which took a few days. Luckily, my score went up after the problem was straightened out.

Remember - A better credit score means a better mortgage rate which means your money goes further & you can get more house for less money. So it's really important!

Next, check in with your bank or credit union and get pre-approved for a mortgage. This does NOT obligate you to get a mortgage with them (and you should definitely keep shopping around). There are a lot of great reasons to get pre-approved, but there's one reason that you may not know: pre-approval proves to real estate agents and sellers that you are a serious buyer & you are capable of getting a mortgage. Nowadays, that makes a big difference, as there are some sellers who won't let you tour their home until you've been approved for a mortgage. The bank can write a letter that you can show to realtors that shows that you've been pre-approved, but make sure it doesn't show how much you've been approved for. If they know the bank is willing to give you $200K, they may try to take every cent of that, despite the fact that you don't want to borrow more than $175K.

The internet is a huge help. I found a lot of helpful websites just by searching for key words and phrases in Google. I found mortgage calculators that helped me determine what we could really afford (as opposed to what the bank would give us) and I did a lot of research on mortgage rates and I found tons of houses on-line, too.

I can tell you more later, but I think I've given you more than enough for now!

(((((((((((((((((((Star, Polly, Futura, Yuefie, Sidecar, Amilita, DM, Pixie, and anyone and everyone else))))))))))))))))))))


I stayed MIA for a few more days so I could get things done. The garden needed a ton of work, plus we went out with friends and blah blah blah. I realized that my auditions are in just about a week(!!!) and my mom will arrive in one month for our big family trip to the beach. Basically, I have a TON to do, so don't be surprised if I'm a bit scarce over the next couple of weeks.

[lays out some pain d'epices with cream cheese, blows some kisses, and runs off to the hardware store]
futura
Candycane, my ex once stayed away for one night (and that was only one night) and he claimed he was drunk so he forgot to call me he stayed over at a colleague's house. I was so worried. I called the hospitals in the city he was in and the police. This was when we had just moved in together. And in at some point in the afternoon (it was a Saturday) he came in: 'honey i'm home'! I cried and cried and i was angry. He didn't seem to get why i was so upset. Anyway, there are other reasons why we broke up.
I don't think your bf does have to want to be with you 24/7/365, but it's perfectly normal for you to want some validation that you're in a relationship and, like RoseV said, not occasionally because he happens to think of you.

Congrats Christine! It sounds very exciting! I hope everything works out as you plan.

(((Kittenb))) Ouch! Can you ask your new massage therapist that you need a softer touch? In this situation it seems much easier since she went to the same school as you.

So. I need some major vibes. I have a job interview tomorrow. I desperately need a job. I don't know if it's the job for me. I just read the tasks i have to perform and i go weak in the knees. It's probably something i can do while having two fingers up my nose, but since it's kinda out of my jurisdiction i feel a bit insecure. I don't want to bluff my way through and find out it's absolutely wrong for me. But i don't want to come across as totally insecure and in doubt either. I'm overqualified in a way, because the level of education they ask for is a level below mine. I'm still not over this patch of insecurity, i mean, i'm a freelancer, so i deal with many difficult problems assignment-wise.
I'll just go tomorrow. Let them decide if they want to hire me.

((((Kvetchies))))

pollystyrene
LeBoy has done that to me a couple of times- the worst was when he got a flat tire on the way home from work. It happened close to a tire place, so he just pulled in and had it fixed. They told him it would be about 30-45 minutes and it was waaaaay longer. When he was about 2 hours late, I started freaking out- called his mom, called his best friend. Neither of them had heard from him (and he's too stubborn to carry a cell phone), and so we all started out to drive around the route he'd be taking to get home. I left a note on the door that said he should call me if he got home. About 15 minutes after I left the house, he called from home. He explained what happened and said, "okay, you should call your mom and Joe and let them know they can go home." He freaked out when I told him I had the two of them on the case and I got PISSED OFF, told him that I thought he was dead in a ditch somewhere and that next time I wouldn't care where he was. I sobbed all the way back home and was ready to strangle him by the time I got there. He was very apologetic, said that he lost track of time and didn't think to ask to use their phone. Grr.

This sort of stuff is a recurring issue with us- where his loyalties, concerns and priorities lie. It's been better in the last year or so, but it was a real struggle for a long time. Ever see that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where his wife gets in trouble from their kids' anal retentive baseball coach for bringing "unacceptable" snacks for the team? She essentially tells the guy to screw off, and Ray, who doesn't like to make waves or have people not like him, brings every single snack on the acceptable list to the next game, just to compensate for her. She gets pissed off because it shouldn't matter if she's wrong- she's his wife and he should take her side and stand up for her; at least not go behind her back just to make himself look good. That's the way LeBoy can be, and we've had a few arguments about situations where it's happened.

I don't know how long you've been with him, candycane, but it may be time for a "State of the Union" conversation. So much fun, I know.

~*~*~*Job vibes for futura!~*~*~*
~*~*~*house vibes for christine!~*~*~*
candycane_girl
Thanks, ladies. Polly, we've only been going out for about 5 months. Kitten, futura and rose, thanks. You've articulated a lot of what I'm feeling especially wondering if he thinks of me when we're apart. That's what gets to me, it's like, how am I supposed to know if he even thinks of me? Can I even ask him that? He tells me he loves me, that I'm the light of his life and he loves being with me but his actions don't match his words!

I know that I need to get in touch with him and talk about all this but I can't right now and he hasn't contacted me at all since Tuesday. What's worse is that this is obviously a really bad time for him (he has no work for the summer, is going on EI and doesn't know how he'll pay his bills) so I feel awful for even thinking about bringing it up. But I feel like he should know how pathetic it makes me feel to be chasing him around all the time. Sometimes I think I just shouldn't call him or email him at all. If he wants to get in touch with me then he can finally do the work.

I don't know. I'm so upset about it and this is a really bad time for me to even think about it since I have exams right now. I'm afraid to go into the relationship advice thread because I felt like last time no one was really listening to what I was saying and just kept going on and on about how I deserve better and how he should be up to my standards. They basically made it sound like I should dump him. There was nothing said about compromise and even when I mentioned all of his good qualities it was like no one cared.

ARGH!!! I'm so frustrated. It's been about a week since we've seen each other and I miss him. I feel like if he missed me then he would have tried to see me earlier in the week. I just feel like we're on different wavelengths or something. I'm always trying to show him how much I love him but for him it's fine just to see me twice a week and leave it at that.


((((((futura))))) I hope your interview goes well.
futura
Candycane, that's hard. But there might never be a good time to talk to him about it. And even if he's going through a bad patch, as a couple, you should support eachother. I'm not saying you don't support eachother, i have no knowledge about your relationship to say so. But it seems he is clamming up. There are so many things going on in both your lives and it would be a good thing to level and communicate about that. And that's not easy.

I occasionally lurk in the Relationship Advice thread, and there are ladies who give excellent advice. I'm sorry that you didn't feel like you were given the support you needed. But you know, that thread is there for exactly the things that are bothering you right now. Maybe you could give it another try?

Polly, it's weird innit? That the things we value so highly are sometimes so easily overlooked by our S.O's. Men are just clueless. Even as a single girl i see guys do stuff and i'm like...meh.

Thanks for your vibes, Busties! The inteview went well. I think. I talked, listened, was enthusiastic. We'll see.

Undie report: Fiery red padded bra with matching panties. Yes. MATCHING. Sometimes i amaze myself.
sassygrrl
Candy, I can understand you're upset. My advice is to talk to him.

Polly, Mcgeek does that too! For instance a few nights ago, he didn't get home until 10:30, b/c he got called in to work. He's done this so much that I bought him a damn cell phone, and he always leaves it off. Men!

Futura, glad the interview went well!

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I found out last weekend that Bailey needs surgery on his knee.
Due to the murmur, it would be 5K. I got really depressed, and Mcgeek seems to be in denial. My internship got canceled as well. My best friend was hospitalized too. It's been a hard week. See the Depression thread.

~~~Christina housing vibes~~~

Star, yay for the kitty! There is one reason why I don't volunteer at animal shelters-- I'd bring home more kitties and doggies. I had a hard enough time when we get puppy training for Zoe. I now really want another rescue dog and kitty.

Anti-kvetch: Two spring festivals this weekend! I'm hoping I'm feeling better to go to them.

Undies: pink boyshorts


stargazer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY POLLY!!


QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Apr 16 2009, 04:56 PM) *
That's what gets to me, it's like, how am I supposed to know if he even thinks of me? Can I even ask him that? He tells me he loves me, that I'm the light of his life and he loves being with me but his actions don't match his words!


(((ccgirl))) I'm sorry you didn't find your previous posts helpful in the relationship thread. I think I remember you discussing needing more communication and feeling a sense of involvement with your bf d/t his female best friend. I agree that you are not being needy with wanting some communication. I think there is no time like the present for a discussion. Some people really have no clue. I guess I should say that some people just have different boundaries with communication. My exgf didn't understand the importance of calling either. At the same time, she didn't grow up with having to check in or letting her parents know her whereabouts. She often said that she wished her parents set more limits like that. Relationships mean being responsible to another person which involves accepting and compromising on a certain level of communication. Let us know what happens.

Oh, and I added my example with my exgf because, you know, the grass is not greener on the other side. wink.gif Not that anyone was implying that here though.

(((((sassy))))) gosh. i'm so sorry to hear about bailey. sad.gif

(((futura))) I'm hoping this job comes through for you. Good to know you felt good about the interview.

(((rose))) anything blooming in the garden yet?? I can't wait to see the pics you will post on your blog.

(((kitten))) I hope your back is feeling better.

(((christine))) Sending you strength vibes so you can get through the changes in your life. It sounds like changes in a positive direction though.


(((other kvetchies)))
Undie report: black underwear sans bra.
kittenb
Happy Friday all.

My back is feeling better today. I had the best massage of my life yesterday. biggrin.gif

{{{interview vibes for futura!}}}

{{{{sassy and bailey}}}}

{{{candycane_girl}}} Yup, I agree w/Polly. Time for a State of the Union conversation.

Someday I think I want to own a garden, rose. Of course this might mean having to buy a house. blink.gif

Happy Birthday Polly!!!!!!!!!!

yuefie
Happy Birthday, Polly!

I tried to post this picture, but couldn't get it to work. Anyway, hope it was a fantastic day smile.gif

(((everyone)))

candycane_girl
Happy Birthday, Polly!!
futura
Happy birthday Polly!!!

Yay for the massage! (((Kitten)))
kittenb
Quick note: Pollystyrene apparently shares a birthday with Buying supperViagra.
Thought you would all want to know that.
amilita
Hey everyone! We just got back from my birthday trip to NYC! We had a really good time, even if I smashed my little toe the day before we left. We still did all the main things I wanted, but probably a little less wandering due to my hurty foot.

We saw 3 plays in 4 nights - Desire Under the Elms, Exit the King and August: Osage County - and I really liked them all. I may have liked Exit the King the best...Geoffrey Rush was really amazing. I saw three friends, one of whom I have not seen for maybe 20 years. We went to the Tenement Museum and MoMA and the Folk Art Museum. I also adored our hotel so much! The bad was comfy, they had cushy bathrobes and nice toiletries...they also had cool magazines in the room and brought us a complementary bottle of wine. It felt fancy but laid back, too.

So now back to normal life! Wah. It is nice to see Miss Shelby Lee and the kitties.

Christine, I am lucky because the Mr. has bought two houses and is pretty comfortable with the whole process. He rarely takes the lead on planning or financial stuff, but he is doing all the work related to acquiring this property. I still can't really believe this is happening!!!

Candy, I agree that you need to have a big talk with the boy.

~~~Job vibes for Futura~~~

~~~all purpose ones for all~~~

And of course...Happy Birthday, Polly!!!!! I hope it was a great day.
roseviolet
Happy birthday, Polly! Hope you're out having a fabulous time!

((((((((Sassy))))))))) Good god, hon, sounds like you've really been put through the ringer. So sorry to hear about Bailey's expensive surgery & the internship and everything else. I hope your best friend is feel a lot better now.

(((((((((Stargazer))))))))) Just 'cause.

Welcome home, Amilita! I am very jealous that you got to see Geoffrey Rush on stage. That must have been amazing. Hope your toe is feeling better soon!

((((((((((((ALL Y'ALL))))))))))))))))


Anti-kvetch 1: The landscape around here has been gorgeous lately! So many happy, blooming things. Today's weather was perfect, too. I spent much of the afternoon today driving around & taking pics. I'll probably put some of the pics on my blog tomorrow. That is, if I'm not too busy at a local arts festival.

Minorest of minor kvetches: The movie that's currently being filmed here forced me to take a big-ass detour today. They blocked off multiple blocks of road traffic right in the heart of town, which meant that all of the open roads got terribly congested.
[shakes fist at Colin Firth and Orlando Bloom]
Anti-kvetch: I was within a block or two of some major movie stars. That's kinda cool, right?

Anti-kvetch 2: Sheff surprised me by buying Mad Men Season 1 today! He's never seen the show before, so we're going to dive into it tonight. Hooray!

But first I gotta make dinner: bangers & mash. Yumnumnum.

Undies: black satin on top, rainbow polka dots on the bottom.
amilita
Oh, I meant to say good luck on getting ready for your auditions, Rosev! And ooooh, have fun watching Mad Men.
pollystyrene
Ooo, sexy Mr. Burns! Thanks yuefie laugh.gif

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone! I had a good day- LeBoy, humanist, my mom and I tried to go to our favorite sushi place. We thought we'd miss the lunch rush if we went around 2:30, only to find out they close between 2:00-5:00. We ended up at the Japanese super grocery store, eating in the food court there. It was still tasty. Then we went to the magic shop to get some magic tricks for LeBoy's nephew's birthday (he turned 7 on Wednesday). That ended up taking foooooorever because the nice old man who ran the place wanted to demonstrate all the tricks before we bought them. It was helpful but it took longer than we wanted it to. Then we had to go pick up the camera that LeMom bought us for a present- a Canon SD960- in blue! Our old camera was starting to get wonky, so we really needed a new one. Then it was off to LeBrother's house for a family get-together of all the April birthdays- me, LeNephew, LeBoy & LeSister.

Mmm, bangers & mash. I made sausage rolls for St. Patrick's Day with real Irish sausage- it was tasty.

I think that concept that you describe, star, that there's a certain responsibility to each other, is very accurate. LeBoy and I both grew up in families where they were big on checking in. I think, in his family, though, his mom went overboard with it and as a result, he doesn't do it enough because she made such a big deal out of it (did I tell y'all about the time she wanted me to drive to his brother's house- a couple miles from ours- because she heard there was a murderer on the loose in our neighborhood and she couldn't get a hold of them, so she was worried? I thought she was calling me to warn me to lock the doors....no, she wanted me to leave the house to check on them. rolleyes.gif ) It's a hard concept for some people in serious relationships, even when they live together, that you're now each other's support system.

Anyway, sorry for the rash of suckiness, sassy. Have you looked into CareCredit? It's a financing company for medical (human) and veterinary bills. You just have to make sure the vet's office participates with them.

Glad you had a good massage, kitten. See, you found someone good! Humanist owes me a couple of massages from helping her move. It was awful.

Sounds like you had a great time in NYC, amilita. Someday I'll get there. I need to find a NYC Bustie to show me around when I go- there's so much to see!

Enjoy the Mad Men, rose. I haven't seen it either- I'll wait until the series is over and Netflix it.

Well, 20 more minutes of being 28. I found my first gray hair this morning. How ironic.
futura
Sounds like you had a great day, Polly!

The weather's beautiful, so why don't i go outside? I have 1 cup of coffee to finish, and then another. And then i must go outside.
I don't have a balcony, like in my former apartment. Even though i know quite some people in this town (i moved here 1 1/2 month ago) it still feels a bit weird to step outside and do stuff. Sometimes i feel like pinching myself 'cos i finally made it; i moved to the town my friends have tried to get me to move to ages ago. It was a lot of work to get the paperwork in order, but OTOH the apartment practically fell in my lap. I have been very lucky. Close to the capital, good train access.
Anyway. Coffee. Do stuff.

Have a great weekend all!!
designermedusa
((futura)) I hope you made it outside to enjoy the nice weather. Glad the interview went well, hope you hear soon.

((polly)) Glad you had a nice birthday.

((rose)) Yay for Sheff buying season 1 of Mad Men. I’m trying to get Twin DM to watch season one on dvd so we can watch season 2 on itunes. I think season 3 starts in July, and I want to get caught up. Good luck on your audition.

((amilita)) Glad you enjoyed NYC, and got to see so many plays and museums. I’ve been wanting to go to the Tenement Museum, and now you have mentioned it and there was an article in Time Out NY, so I think we may go when we are there in June.

((kittenb)) Yay for almost being done with the move and a good massage.

((sassy)) Sorry things have been shitty, things will turn around.

((ccgirl)) Been there, done that with basically being the planner in the relationship. I hope he wakes up, and realizes what a wonderful girlfriend he has.

((christine)) Good luck on the house hunting/

((star)) Glad the kitty’s neuter surgery went well. I love seeing dogs in clothes, but Lola and Lucia won’t wear clothing. My mom has like a million outfits for her dogs.

((yuefie, pixie, mando, sidecar))

Things have been busy including so much work to do. There are rumors (an email) going around that our company has been bought again. I really can’t imagine it to be true because we were just bought by a major healthcare company last year.

I started therapy again, and feel good about it. I am trying to figure out family issues, and it’s tough work.

Twin DM and I went to see David Sedaris last night. He was so nice, he signed books before and after, read several stories and his diary and did a Q&A.
stargazer
(((DM))) Good for you for doing all of the self work. Keep it up.

(((Amilita))) Will we see pics of the birthday bash in NYC on crackbook??

(((Futura))) It sounds like sometimes it hard to realize how far you've come. Enjoy it!

(((Polly))) Sounds like you had a good bday!

kvetch: kitten got sick, well, technically yesterday, and he didn't last night's dinner or breakfast. he's a pretty healthy eater. i wasn't too worried until this afternoon when he still wasn't eating and then threw up twice after i gave him some food by mouth. i was a nervous wreck for 3 hours, calling emergency vets, etc. then, i forgot he got his distemper shot as well. so i did a review online and found a thuja remedy recommended for pets post vaccination. i didn't know some pets had some minor effects. so far, he has held some food and water in his tummy. i'm going to give him another dose tonight. it is directed to give for 10 days post vaccinations. still taking him to vet tomorrow.

i had a great day yesterday with polly, leboy, and the foodie group. we literally ate our way through chicago. lots of fun. the weather was spectacular. couldn't really complain. after a day of gluttony, i was so pooped afterwards. eating is tiring!

(((kittenb, rose, pixie, yuefie, christine, ccgirl, and other kvetchies)))
amilita
Polly, glad birthday stuff was fun! Did you do more stuff?

Futura, I think it takes quite awhile to really feel at home somewhere...I think I was told by someone that it takes 2 years, and I don't doubt that.

DM, good for you for getting back to therapy. It is tough work, but worth it, right? My friend just started therapy and she says it's a big relief just to begin. I'm glad for her.

And on the NYC thing, I highly recommend the tenement museum! I love hidden history...history of the poor, of women, of the seedy side of life. Polly, it is such a big city that you just have to go and pick some things that sound good and not fret about it.

And I am so excited to know that Mad Men starts in July! Woot.

I'm rewatching Buffy starting at the beginning. The Mr. asked me how many seasons it is, and I didn't have the heart to tell him 7. Ha. I think he's starting to get into it a little...

Star, I had my camera in NYC but didn't take a single picture. I'm not always so good at documenting...sometimes I'm into it, but often I'm not. Gosh, I didn't take any birthday pictures at all, come to think of it.

Glad the remedy is helping kitty. Hope things go OK at the vet. The foodie tour sounds fun, and I liked your crackbook pictures.

The Mr. is meeting with the bank lady tomorrow to see about the loan for this new place, and his mom is coming to town this week...she'll be working on a house with a group until Saturday, when she'll come to our place. I'm freaking out a bit. The visit will be fine, I'm sure, but the whole buying a new place! That's the big thing. It used to be a house, but then it had a warehouse built around it...then various modifications beyond that. It's pretty weird. It's a two story warehouse, and the house part is pretty much on the second floor. But it's tons of space...more work space for the Mr. and more living space. It needs a lot of work...definitely not move in ready!

I hope everyone had a good weekend! Happy Monday!

sassygrrl
Amilita, I'm glad NYC was fun. Now that my parents just got back, I really want to go again! Mainly for the plays and museums. I'm also Netflixing Buffy and House right now.

DM, good for therapy. It's tough work, but I find it's very helpful.

Star, how is the kitty?

Polly, glad you birthday went okay.

RV, good luck on the audition, and awesome about the Mad Men DVD.

CCG, how are things?

Kvetch: Mcgeek told me some weird and shocking news tonight (literally as we're heading to couples therapy), his parents split up. We don't know it they're getting divorced or just separated. He's in total shock. His dad said that his mother, brother/wife, etc have all moved out of the house. I'm concerned that everyone will come out of the woodwork asking Mcgeek for money, as he seems to be the one that is mostly financially sound in his family. His dad also gave Mcgeek no contact information. Weird? They're a very disconnected family. I have no idea what to make of this whole event.

((everyone)))






candycane_girl
Hey, ladies. Thanks for all the vibes. I'm still not sure how things are. I've been talking a lot in the relationship thread and that has helped. Basically I just want to talk to him but it sounds now like I can't see him until Wednesday after my horrible, evil stats exam. I'm worried that he's trying to wait until after that exam so that he can dump me and won't have to worry about me being a mess for my exams but I talked to my best guy friend and he said that seems unlikely. I hope he's right.

(((((mcgeek and family))))) that sounds like quite a shock, sassy. How long have his parents been married? It always seems stranger to me when people get divorced after a really long time.

good luck with all the house stuff, amilita.

((((star and kitty))))

dm, good for you for going to therapy. It's not a miracle cure but it's so helpful.

futura, that's a good feeling you described, moving to the place you really want to be. That's how I feel about living here.

I'm glad you had a good birthday, polly.

One small anti-kvetch: I finally watched the season finale of Being Erica online. I doubt that any of you have heard of it because it's a Canadian show but I actually really like it. Canadian television has a reputation for being horribly boring and low budget but in the last few years there have been a few new shows that are actually really good and watchable. I hope this trend continues.

(((((kvetchies)))))


kittenb
Good morning everyone. Today is research paper day for me so I need to turn off my wireless and get to writing. I have my research done but nothing writen down past the outline. But it is a thourough outline so I have my fingers crossed!
My back is still giving me a lot of problems. I am a side sleeper and I think I need to spend a few days sleeping while hugging a pillow. It will keep my shoulders more open so that (hopefully) the pain will stop switching side to side.
I am glad that I re-read this page. We got cable and a DVR last week and I realized that I can record the repeats of Mad Men's 2nd season that I haven't seen and be all ready for season 3 this June (I think that is when it starts.) biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

ccg - Good luck on your test. I really hope that things work out in the best possible way for you and the boy. Good luck!

star - how is the kitty now?

{{{Sassy and McGeek}}} I've had people ask me if it was harder or easier that my parents split up when I was an adult. I honestly do not know since I don't know it any other way than as an adult. I think it always kind of sucks even when it is the best thing for everyone.

amalita!!! Good luck with the house. If you decide to get it, pls post pics somewhere. I cannot picture what you are describing.

dm - While it won't be live, I'll be seeing David Sedaris and the rest of the This American Life crew this Thursday on a movie screen. I am very excited about it. biggrin.gif

{{{futura, rv, polly, and all...}}}

Have a great Tuesday everyone.



Christine Nectarine
Happy Monday…I mean, Tuesday everyone! I keep having to remind myself of the day, since I didn’t work yesterday. A and I took the day to volunteer for an agency that outfits kids for prom and graduation whose families cannot afford it. It was started by a former co-worker of mine, and it’s a lot of fun to take part in. I was a “personal shopper” for 2 developmentally delayed girls who came with their guidance counsellor, before transferring myself to organize the shoe tables. A was an excellent personal shopper for some of the guys, many of whom have never worn a suit, and are really shy about saying what they like. He likes to dress up, and will always try to convince them to go for the showy coat with tails, or the plaid bow tie, instead of sticking with something boring. They can have their hair done, and get their picture taken, the whole deal.

Other than that, I have been so brain dead lately. Emotionally, I’ve still been feeling much better since A and I had all those lengthy discussions, but I’m still not feeling 100% (I hate that expression). My activity level I would say has been average to low for the past week + but despite that, I feel exhausted most days. Sunday afternoon kiddo was extremely frustrated with me, because I fell asleep on the couch when she wanted me to play with her. I did the same thing when we were watching tv on Friday night. I’m sleeping 7-9 hours a night, and finding it really hard to wake up in the morning, which is all unusual for me. I also find that things which are normal for me, are now more extreme. For example, I usually have a high metabolism, and my blood sugar drops fast, so I will quickly feel fatigued and loose focus if I haven’t eaten when I should. Usually it doesn’t happen too much, since I try to eat about every 3 hours, but lately it happens more and more. I also tend to get chest pains when I’m really tired, and this happens almost every night now, when I don’t think I should even be tired. I keep getting headaches as well, which sometimes don’t even go away after I sleep. Last night was a killer one, and I didn’t take anything for it, since I figured I was going to bed soon, and thought that would solve it, but it was still there (less painful however) when I woke up this morning. I did take some headache tablets then, and I’m feeling a bit better now.
I’m thinking it’s time to see my doctor, since this has all been going on for a few weeks. I don’t know if it’s caused by work stress, or if I’m sick, or my iron is low, or I should be taking some vitamins, or if I’m just in a funk or what. I don’t like to go on about it (although by the length of this post, apparently I do) because they seem like such minor, pitiful complaints, but it’s interfering with daily activity at this point. Bah.

Good luck with your writing kittenb! Getting snugly with a pillow sounds good.

(((candycanegirl))) sounds like a stressful time. Hey, I’d been wondering if Being Erica was any good. Where can I watch it online?

(((sassygirl))) hope you and Mcgeek can get some clarity on the family situation.
Hey amilita, I wouldn’t worry about not getting pictures. IMO, in this crackbook world, I think we tend to “over-document”. Sometimes it’s good enough just to have pleasant memories! Btw, that property sounds exciting! Hope all goes well at the bank.

(((stargazer&kitten)))

Roseviolet, thanks for all the advice! I’m in Canada, so somethings are likely a little different, but it’s good to be encouraged by someone who has come through the process and SURVIVED to tell the tale!

((futura, polly, everyone else!))
stargazer
*~*~*strength vibes for Christine*~*~*

(((Christine))) Good to know you are meeting with the doctor soon. Take care of yourself.

(((kittenb))) Good luck with finishing the research paper.

(((sassy))) Poor McGeek. I guess the only thing you can do is be there for him. I'm sure he is just as confused.

(((candy))) Good luck on your exams!

(((futura, rose, polly, amilita, DM, and other kvetchies)))

kvetch: I'm just so tired of being scrutinized with the whole internship process or feeling like i'm the exception to the rule. Having to present myself perfectly and being able to articulate a confusing situation clearly. People are already skeptical of me and if I don't present myself well...it only adds fuel to the fire. I guess the dickhead I interviewed with gave feedback to someone at school. I guess the good news is that he gave feedback about my interview. I'm going to meet with the school contact because any information is helpful for me in the future with interviews. In the end, I interviewed poorly because I just wasn't a good fit with that place. I didn't want to work there. I'm not saying that because I didn't get the position. I just haven't geared my work towards working with that population. I'm just tired of feeling picked apart by others in my profession. *sigh* It is just emotionally draining for me.

antikvetch: I'm gonna try to keep pushing onward. Take things into my own hands because, so far, things have not been going well in finding a position.

roseviolet
(((((((((((((Stargazer)))))))))))))))))))) I cannot even imagine. It must be so hard to keep on pushing forward after all of this. You have my sympathy and my support!
~~~~~~ soothing for the kitten ~~~~~~~~

((((((((((((Christine)))))))))))) Did you make an appointment with your doctor today? I hope you can see someone really soon.

~*!ABC!*~ Brilliant writing vibes for Kitten ~*!ABC!*~

((((((((The McGeek Family)))))))) That must be so tough. Sheff's parents broke up right after he went away to university. He says it was very hard because his friends all got to go home for Christmas break, but for him "home" didn't exist anymore.

((((((((CCGirl))))))))) Good luck talking with the boy. Let us know how it goes, okay?

Amilita, how was the Mr's appointment with the loan officer? Hope you got a great rate! Are you watching Buffy on Hulu or do you own it? I must admit that I have never watched Buffy before. Weird, huh? Sheff & I keep talking about fixing that, but he hates watching streaming videos on-line.

DM, I'm so jealous of you for seeing David Sedaris in person! That must have been really cool. Have you heard about the live broadcast of This American Life that's happening in movie theaters on Thursday night?

Futura, what did you do once you finally left the house?

Polly, congrats on the new camera! That's cool that so many people in your family have April birthdays. Don't feel so bad about the grey hair, though. I have tons of friends who had greys as early as high school but no one could tell because they dyed their hair.

(((((((((the whole gang)))))))))))))


Kvetch: My guts are unhappy today. Don't sit too close. Seriously. Also I'm feeling terribly pouty and moody. Hopefully this means that my period is around the corner. I kinda lost track of when it should be this month & I am, uh, kinda worried.

Kvetch: My birthday is Friday & I fear it's going to be kinda sucky. I'm going to be busy preparing for my audition the next day & I can't stay up too late or drink too much. Plus, too many of our friends are consumed with their end-of-semester work. Sounds like it'll just be me & Sheff.

Kvetch: I miss my family.

Kvetch: Did I mention that I'm pouty?
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