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Full Version: Corn Cob Up My Ass: Pet Peeves 7
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culturehandy
Cob: Underwriters at banks who are being assholes about loans.

AntiCob: The people at the credit union were lovely.
girltrouble

cob:you-- for driving me crazy.

anti cob:you--goddamn you are amazing! now, uh, would you mind takinhg that cob out of my...oh never mind....*settles happily in...*
culturehandy
GT, is this what I think it is or am I being cocky and presumptuous?
girltrouble
hee hee....
mornington
pfft...

cob: the size 16 skirt I bought split when I wore it. Split. across. my. arse. It's not that wide! it's fucking jersey! It stretches!

and yes... and why is it, when stores make clothes in different sizes, they don't bother adjusting the sleeve width! size 12 people are going to have larger arms than size 6 people!
pollystyrene
And they don't make the shirts longer, either- thank cod for scrubs, I can wear all these midriff-baring (ok, gut-baring dry.gif ) shirts that I wasted $ on, just to have an extra layer and the scrubs cover them lengthwise. Grr.

I actually found an empire-waisted shirt that doesn't make me totally look pregnant. Maybe just a little, but it's so cute and comfy, i don't care. It's from Lane Bryant and I can't find it on their website, but it's close-ish to this one. It's not a knit, though- just a thin cotton, with a square neck and a washed out green color with black-ish print.

I'll wear it to the Chicago Bustie party tomorrow night and see what they think tongue.gif
doodlebug
cob: why the fuck do they put all that stupid cotton-wadding in the pill bottles - even for the pills that there's no chance of them breaking (like gel-caps)? Is this really what we need when we are in fucking pain??? Six minutes to get into the Advil is a long fucking time when you hurt!

anti-cob: my nurses and doctors who were, once again, so terrific to me in the hospital.
grrrlyouwant
cob: people who tell you how great your new look is. followed by a litany of what was wrong with your old look. which is okay, because you don't look like that anymore, and it must be as big a relief to you as it is to them to finally be able to acknowledge and laugh at the horror of the look that was

cob: goddamned stupid-ass know-it-all been-there-forever-and-aren't-changing-their-cunty-ways-for-you-or-anybody-damned-else-including-their-own-superiors production supervisors telling their people to do the opposite of whatever the quality control reps, who are the final arbiters of whether or not a product meets specs, very nicely and respectfully tell them needs to be done in order for the product to pass inspection

anti-cob: qc and production plant heads who back your shit up, and tell cunty production bitches to get over their damn foolish selves
konphusion26
Cob: when you tell someone repeatedly that you are over your daytime minutes on your cell phone and they continue to call you during the day. WTF didnt you understand about me telling you I can't talk till after 7pm because I'm over my minutes and those bastards charge for overages! Geez. Get a clue please or put in some money on this phone bill.
Moonpieluv
Cob: when you have to initiate portions in what seems all the time with a relatively new or long-term relationship... come on you! don't you want my lovin'! I feel like I'm doing all the driving here! frustrating!

CoB: when someone won't stop looking over yer damn shoulder when you're having private time with yer own computer.

culturehandy
Cob: People who mind fuck. Mind fucking players are assholes, you want to fuck me, then just come out and say I want to fuck you. don't lie about everything else! Christ on a crutch, I don't want a relationship!
mornington
estate agents who:
- can't copy down a phone number when you tell them three times
- never update their websites
- don't leave clear voicemail messages so it takes me several listens to work out who the fuck just called me
- never update thier websites
- confuse "one bedroom in a flat share" with "a one-bedroom flat" and advertise as such
- are stupid, generally

*bangs head repeatedly against wall*
culturehandy
Mosquitos, canker worms and the thread of said canker womrs.
lilacwine13
Seconding the mosquito cob.

More cobs:
--Poison ivy
--People who don't remove their laundry from the washer
damona
thirding the mosquitoes cob!!!!!! we've lots of lovely fields and bushes and thanks to the enormous amounts of rain, we have loads of standing water, so the mosquitoes are just as happy as can be. i, however, am not. to quote a friend of mine... i never thought i'd say i was tired of being eaten...
girltrouble
i usually avoid traffic on the 4th by leaving the party early, and i don't care for fireworks, but i have to stay till after the fireworks tonite so i can guess my cob is already:

cob: sitting in traffic after the fireworks
cob:drunks on the fourth
cob:stupid drivers on the fourth.


anti cob: the 4th with my pal laurel, who is the world's most loving drunk. god i love her!
anti cob: spending hours with said world's most loving drunk, talking about how it was love at first speak when we discovered we share our thrift store dream record find: the barbarella soundtrack. we've been friends ever since.
anti cob: the lovely mr. t putting up with me and shuttling me and my reckids to and from the party, watching me drink and not caring even tho she has been sober for years...
hellotampon
I like low rise jeans, since I have no ass, but I also hate the sack dresses. It sucks because most of them are made from really amazing prints or have cute detailing, and I can't wear them. I don't see why they can't just make different dresses out of the same material! I have a hard time fitting into any dress though, because of my measurements or whatever. I'm shaped kind of like an upside-down pear. Empire waist fitted shirts are okay though because they don't just hang down off my boobs like a tent.

Is it American Apparel that makes the really ugly clothes? Like everything is really plain and solid-colored and they make the ridiculous leggings and gold tights and all that? For some reason that shit annoys me. And the ads all remind me of sex slavery.

Cob: It's the 4th of July, and it's a weekday, and Connecticut shut down liquor sales. wtf? I have to go to Rhode Island to get a bottle of wine? I just got back from Europe, where alcohol is sold everywhere and allowed 24-7, and then I come back to this shithole and I can't have a drink with my veggie burger. It's also cloudy and shitty out today. And the only reason I was glad to come back from vacation was that I'd at least not miss the 4th of July, but I may as well have.
girltrouble

cob: being all ratched up about coming in here and posting my cob, then forgetting what i was so upset about.
culturehandy
As much as I love gmail, I hate the formatting when you reply. I don't like little lines everywhere. Irritates me to hell.
konphusion26
When men make stupid, untrue generalizations about women and expect women not to go off on them. Gaah that makes my skin crawl. If you know nothing about women's thoughts or why they do the things they do, please do NOT speak on it. You will get embarrassed.
mornington
People with massive umbrellas. There is only one of you, you don't need a fucking golfing umbrella.

People who don't have any manners when using umbrellas, especially people who don't make any effort to move their massive brolly which is blocking half the pavement.

The people who hand out the free papers. Stop shoving them in my face, especially when I don't have a free hand anyway. Stop standing in the middle of a busy pavement at rush hour. Stop it. Just no. Also, your paper is the biggest pile of crap since the daily hatemail.
culturehandy
the 18,000 facebook application requests I get every day. I like growing gifts and hatching eggs, super poke makes me chuckle (I'm fine if someone wants to rick the granny panties with me). Sned me booze, too.

BUT I don't need to know what my faviourite sexual position is, I don't need anyone to send me some fucking heroin, and I am not a human gift.
anna k
QUOTE
People who don't have any manners when using umbrellas, especially people who don't make any effort to move their massive brolly which is blocking half the pavement.


I hate them because I'm afraid I'll get poked in the eye with the umbrella prong.

QUOTE
The people who hand out the free papers. Stop shoving them in my face, especially when I don't have a free hand anyway. Stop standing in the middle of a busy pavement at rush hour. Stop it. Just no. Also, your paper is the biggest pile of crap since the daily hatemail.


I hate it when they stand at the foot of the subway stairs sticking thme in my face. They're also crappy tabloids too that I don't want to read.
girltrouble
cob:people claiming history.
"our generation invented rock n roll!"
no, you didn't asshole, you just bought it.
"you're watching nascar indy 500, and you've just watched history being made!"
yeah, cos in 1000 years, they are going to be concerned with nascar stats.
"they wanted to be part of history. now they are. i bet they are glad watched the astronaut land on the moon."
uh yeah, the people who actually did something are part of history. the rest are spectators.


cob:moron news:
yes, it's absolutely crucial that everyone know NOW that the ramseys have been cleared of the murder of jean benet. we've been waiting for this on pins and needles for the last 10 years.*smacks to the back of your head*
shouldn't the guide be how many people are effected in real life, in real terms? cos the fisa bill they just passed and you are downplaying is gonna effect me much more than lindsey lohan's newest drunken spree.
what ever happened to real news? stop making me feel old, cranky, curmudgeonly and misanthropic, and FUGGIN DO YOUR JOB.

fuck! i shouldn't have to tell you this. rome is burning. time to put down the f'in fiddle.
neurotic.nelly
cob: fucking flagrant classism
persimmon_grrrl
selfish fucking roommates.

classist, narrow-minded idiots (yes, it's a noun and i'm employing it).

homophobes.

biphobes.

idiots. that about covers it.

food allergies. not being able to eat avocados.

stupid smelly disgusting chemical perfumes that roomie bathes in before going out.
from a person who has chemical sensitivities.

selfishness. grumblegrumblearggrumble
snarky7
Major COB: Stupid seasonal allergies. Please god I want my eyes to stop itching!
.eilleen.
Major Cob: Other Admin speaks to me as if I were an incompetent child.
1) I am older and fully educated.
2) I was fully invested in the server migration weeks ago.


Must contain frustration.
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Jul 10 2008, 12:03 PM) *
and I am not a human gift.


YEAH TRUE DAT!! I don't want to be bought and sold on myspace thank you. I don't care what you think I'm worth. STOP IT but do keep sending me the movie quiz cause I tear dat shit up!!!
edie52
Cob: anxiety. Um, can I please stop worrying and thinking all the time and just let things take their course?

Cob: broken bike. Again. Having to walk everywhere or pay too much for the bus.

Cob: NOT FINDING THE PERFECT APARTMENT!
lilacwine13
Cob: Old computers that haven't been updated for a long time and can't open certain files because they don't have the right programs.

Cob: Being broke and not being able to afford a new computer

Cob: Regret

Cob: Anxiety

Cob: Wanting to go hiking but having too much to get done before I can go out into the woods
girltrouble

cob:phil graham.
yes, phil graham is a fucking corn cob up my ass. the prick who, with his wife, and employee of enron, engineered the enron loop hole, profited from it, then when the loop hole results in oil commodity speculation and the price for oil sky rockets, the multi-million dollar lipless wonder and mccain financial advisor calls us a nation of whiners.... fuck you, dude. just fuck you.

cob:f'ing oil companies and the president.
with more than 44,000 acres of unpumped land you want more? fuck y'all. if you had any interest in really lowering gas prices, you'd open up the strategic national oil reserve, and instead of closing down refineries and running the ones you have up at 85% of capacity, you'd be opening new ones. double fuck you you gluttonous, greedy bastards. i hope you choke and drown on your oil profits. i hope you're convicted for market manipulation, and i hope you all end up in some prison with your cell mates doing unspeakable things to your oil holes daily. i hope you get a taste of all the suffering you cause this country that's given you so much, assholes.

cob:free marketeers, white collar criminals, war profiteers, neo-cons.
wtf?! really? where does all your freemarket rah-de-rah go when another privatized institution is run into the ground and the tax payers have to bail your golden parachuted asses out? you whine and cry when there is any sort of public welfare, but throw billions to your high-paid sack of shit, money stealing, con artist exec friends. hypocrites. and neo-cons-- hey! thanks for taking us into a useless war and bankrupting our country

cob:joe fucking scarboro--
you dumbshit history revising fascist fucking prick, habius was not invented in ww2, this is not the first time it was extended to non americans. unless you can tell the fucking truth, you should shut your stupid goddamn fucking mouth you arrogant blistering puss filled asshole. our country has sold out every goddamn thing this country stood for, for fear. for profits for kbr, blackwater and the oil companies. whoo-hoo. fuck you and all the other republican shit heads on networks who are working to sell us on a mccain presidency that will send this country further down the shit tubes. ronald reagan was not some hero, he was the monster who introduced the world to supply side economics, bleeding the gov't coffers and siphoning it to the rich making them super rich all the while putting more people on the streets. figgers you'd applaud that you soulless vampire.
damona
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Jul 10 2008, 11:03 AM) *
and I am not a human gift.


this made me giggle b/c i was just on myspace and i was all pleased that i'm worth $14000!!!!

cob: driving a suburban. why can't they make smaller, affordable cars for those of us with many munchkins. i really am not fond of driving a friggin' tank. and the last time i filled the tank i damn near had a heart attack... over $150!!!!

cob: why can't there be a therapy place for the kids closer than 30miles? we're going back to 2x a week driving to therapy and with no one here working... yeah. that's gonna get tough, real quick.
culturehandy
Cob: People who don't pull into the intersection whilst waiting to make a left hand turn. Espcecially when they are opposite to me so I can't see oncoming traffic.
hoosierman78
QUOTE(damona @ Jul 15 2008, 09:06 PM) *
this made me giggle b/c i was just on myspace and i was all pleased that i'm worth $14000!!!!

cob: driving a suburban. why can't they make smaller, affordable cars for those of us with many munchkins. i really am not fond of driving a friggin' tank. and the last time i filled the tank i damn near had a heart attack... over $150!!!!

cob: why can't there be a therapy place for the kids closer than 30miles? we're going back to 2x a week driving to therapy and with no one here working... yeah. that's gonna get tough, real quick.


Damn, I'm only worth $1500 on facebook, while my wife is worth about half a mil, though I guess that's fitting.

COB: Homicidal maniac drivers of 4-wheeled vehicles. Yes, my motorcycle only requires half the lane. No, you can't have the other half next to me so you can talk on your phone, drink your latte & play with your kids while hauling your 2 tons of death down the highway.
.eilleen.
Cob: anxiety/stress leading to a muscle twitches around my eye.
Kpasa
Cob: when my bf has to pee/takes too long to get drinks and i get hit on by random guys and have to gracefully turn them down because:

Cob: when i ignore the giant asshole raising his hand like i'm going to high-five some obviously drunk shithead i've never met at a bar and encourage some stranger to talk to me/harass me.....I get a loud "FUCK YOU" ....oh sorry, my life isn't enriched by your sheepish and irritatingly campy attempt to get me to talk to you. do not want.
konphusion26
People that take advantage of your kindness repeatedly; people that invite themselves to your home and help themselves to your stuff.

*will go into detail in Problems with Friends thread.*
hellotampon
feministing being such a difficult site to deal with... since they switched to the community site, i can no longer sign in to comment. And when I try to re-register, it says my name is already taken, which leads me to think some jerk stole my user-name, but it's probably just the site being stupid. I love the site but it's slow, there are too many ads, and it's a pain in the ass!
girltrouble
cob:stupid people and the assholes who profit from them.

a woman was stupid enough to:
1)buy a tee shirt for $69
2)bought it cos it said, "obama is my slave."
3)wore it in NYC
4)was surprized when she caught a beatdown.
that said she's smart enough to:
1) sue the asshole who makes and sells these things for all he's got.
2)decide not to wear the shirt a second time.

as for the asshole who profited from the shirt,
he is a jewish israeli emigre, who says his shirts
QUOTE
"reflect the views of "ordinary WASPs."

“For a lot of people, when they see Obama, they see a slave. People think America is not ready for a black president,”

“I can’t stand Obama,” Braun says, but claims that it's not because the candidate is black. “That’s the only thing I like about him. He opens the door for other minorities.”

“He reminds me of Adolf Hitler, [because] he is a Muslim.”

while being a part time entrepreneur, he seems to be a full time racist/racist facilitator, here are some of the other swell shirts he sells:
QUOTE
shirts with slogans such as “Jews Against Obama,” “Obama = Hitler” and “Who Killed Obama?”

am i the only one to think he ought to add one more tee, with the ironic, phrase, "jews for racism?"

in case you wanted to know what an asshole looks like, here is the article with the ass posing in his shirt
culturehandy
Workers who take offence when I inform them that there could be issues with their files. Look, I have little fraud, maybe you should listen to my fucking advice sometimes.

I think I should take this to the fight club thread.
olivarria
COB: Dentists who charge fucking $8 for "hygiene instruction" - read: how to floss; dental hygenists who try to tear my teeth out with said floss (my teeth ares still throbbing); and rich-ass dentists who squeeze you for every red-cent you have by using medications that my dental plan does not cover! And they know it!

COB: Being charged $162 for a fucking cleaning and Xray, after insurance. Dentists who lie about their rates and their so-called compliance with insurance plans!

COB: Looking at my dentist and realizing that all my money is going toward paying for her collagen-inflated lips, Botox-injections, fake DayGo teeth, and fake tattooed eyebrows. Seriously, does she think she looks good? She looks like a monkey.

COB: People who do not clean out their lint tray after using the dryer. I don't need to see all of your lint/dirt/pubes stuck in the lint tray, nor do i want to have to clean them out. Nasty!

COB: University housing telling me that they have no record of my dorm application, deposit, or contract, but that they will happily to give me information about off-campus housing, after I signed a contract 2 months ago! Bursting into tears after I realize that I might be without a place to live in 3 weeks because of their fucking mistake, and instead of apologizing they get all snotty and act like its my fault!

Anti-COB: Because of their mistake, I now have the dorm I wanted in the first place, 5 minutes from my classes, and with newer, better furniture! Whoo-hoo! They can stick it.

And my pearly-whites do look great!
pollystyrene
Cob: Assholes who get credit cards and open accounts at Blockbuster using my phone number, and then don't pay their bills and don't return movies and video games and I get calls from bill collectors and automated messages from Blockbuster.

Further Cob: Blockbuster managers who can't figure out who this person is, even though your automated message says their name and the stuff they have overdue; I have a hard time believing a zillion dollar company doesn't have a computer system that can look this stuff up by the name or movie. blink.gif And they tell me to just "ignore the messages" Faaaah-q! This is the third call and I'll be paying a visit to your store to talk to you personally tomorrow mad.gif

Anti-cob: Credit card companies who believe you when you say they have the wrong number and take your number off their lists.
lilacgypsy
COB-- Making up your own personal, soulful, interpretive, version of the National Anthem.
SING IT LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN!!! ( On tune and on tempo) --Sat through the most G* awful, dragged out, version sung by a teenage "American Idol" wanna be.. ( I guess i should be glad she at least knew all words)
candycane_girl
cob: groups of people who block the entire sidewalk just standing and talking. GTFO of my way!
culturehandy
Cob: colds, fuck off runny nose.
faerietails
cob: NY summer + no air conditioner = sleep deprivation and death.

I'm. about. to. spontaneously. combust. mad.gif
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
culturehandy
Cob: training staff when it's not my job.
missladyj
cob: people who claim to be so fucking ethical that they join a group for ethical people but feel the need to lie to family and strangers. fucking hypocrites.
culturehandy
Cob: Motivational posters. I hate them, I think they are lame and the most UNmotivational things.EVER. I do know about the demotivation site, too. Makes me chuckle deep down.
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