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lucizoe
gt, allow me to introduce you to our cash for trash policy, if you are not already aware. It's like our Troll Pledge Drive...10 cents - 50 cents - 20 bucks - whatever you can afford per post donated to NARAL or Planned Parenthood or whichever org you prefer.

It's fun!
girltrouble
yeah, i remember. don'tcha just love the law of unintended consequences? i mean, euphy couldn't have known that when he posted on this site he would be indirectly giving money to NARAL!

we can even up the ante, and volunteer time to those organizations for each post too!

girltrouble
cob: stupid trolls
lilacwine13
I forgot about the pledge drive. Thanks for reminding me. smile.gif

non-tr*ll cob: really crappy traffic reports that don't report traffic jams which aren't caused by accidents
related cob: getting in trouble for being late for work because of said traffic
doodlebug
cob: being too ill to even go out

cob: being so ill I need my mommy here looking after me

cob: being so ill that surgeries are required

cob: being so ill when I was actually looking forward to an ordinary, restful period of contented and enjoyable unemployment

cob: not having any clue when I will start to feel even halfway normal again

anticob: probably qualifying for extended sickness benefits
roseviolet
Corn cob: Nagging coughs. Or perhaps I should say my husband's nagging cough. It makes him feel awful and keeps us both from sleeping. Bleh.










doodlebug
I came online just to post this.

My cob for today, or for the week, or for life, is the sneeze that never comes.

You know what I mean. It's that sharp tickle in your nostril, and you just KNOW it's going to be a doozy. You snatch up a tissue and make that funny face, ready for it, and then....nothing. Or rather, not nothing. First, there is the period of waiting, when you know that if you keep holding that funny face long enough...it's...going...to...happen. No. So then you reach that point of desperation, when you decide to look straight into the sun, or into the brightest light in the room, sure that this will bring on the sneeze. But it never comes. Instead, it backfires. Your eyes water, and your nostrils fill up with even more guck, and the tickle-itch magnifies itself till you are practically scrubbing at your nose with that tissue, all the while muttering the most colourful string of curses you've muttered in a long time. You end up feeling almost as frustrated and annoyed as you would if you'd been trying to have an orgasm and then suddenly realized it wasn't going to happen.

The sneeze that never comes. I. Hate. It.
quietmadness
cob: loser, methadone addicted, food-stamp frauding, skeezer ex-family friends who stick their noses into private family business.

cob: above stated skeezers who have the balls to actually show up at church.

cob: dumbass 18 year old sons who take up with such skeezers and stop listening to parents.

cob: laws that prevent the sordid murders of dope-heads and drugged out skeezer bitches who run their mouths about people.

cob: a spineless society that supports dopeheads, losers, skeezers and drunks with food stamps, tax breaks and welfare checks--not to mention houses, free college and daycare (so they can all reproduce and have MORE skeezer babies to pollute our fair green earth with)

--Quiet--
girltrouble
i'll bite my tounge and keep my nose on my face.



cob: people who chew gum on the phone. i talk on the phone all day and nothing-- not even people screaming-- bugs me, except---EXCEPT--- this one snotty receptionist who calls and chews her fucking gum in my ear! ARGH! everytime i hear her voice i want to smack the gum out of her mouth. ugh. i have to wear a headset, and i swear it's like someone being a half inch from my ear smacking away and to that she talks to me like i'm and idiot... god i hate that woman.
hellotampon
speaking of phone cobs, my roommate is on the phone right now and he's yelling. Not talking, YELLING. I hate people who do that. There is this woman who shops where I work and she walks around the store screaming on her cell phone. They can probably hear you without the phone!
Even worse is that he's talking to someone who is on his way over here right now. Just get off the phone and wait 5 minutes and you can talk to him in person!
nickclick
QUOTE(doodlebug @ Feb 24 2007, 11:53 PM) *

You know what I mean. It's that sharp tickle in your nostril, and you just KNOW it's going to be a doozy. You snatch up a tissue and make that funny face, ready for it, and then....nothing. Or rather, not nothing. First, there is the period of waiting, when you know that if you keep holding that funny face long enough...it's...going...to...happen. No. So then you reach that point of desperation, when you decide to look straight into the sun, or into the brightest light in the room, sure that this will bring on the sneeze. But it never comes. Instead, it backfires. Your eyes water, and your nostrils fill up with even more guck, and the tickle-itch magnifies itself till you are practically scrubbing at your nose with that tissue, all the while muttering the most colourful string of curses you've muttered in a long time. You end up feeling almost as frustrated and annoyed as you would if you'd been trying to have an orgasm and then suddenly realized it wasn't going to happen.

The sneeze that never comes. I. Hate. It.


funny post, doodlebug, but not a fun experience, i agree. try holding your nose to stop the sneeze. that works, but sometimes i want that sneeze satisfaction.
anna k
QUOTE
There is this woman who shops where I work and she walks around the store screaming on her cell phone. They can probably hear you without the phone!


I heard a girl in the diner today talking loudly on her phone to her friend about the Oscars: "I just watched the red carpet stuff and then I was like, so tired . . . Cameron Diaz looked sooo pretty . . . . Reese Witherspoon looked really good . . ."

People spitting on the street, making loogie sounds. It's disgusting.

LoveMyPugs
Speaking of sneezing...

When I was in 7th grade a girl asked what an orgasm feels like in our sex education class. The teacher couldn't come up with a good answer so she asked the student to go the classroom next-door and ask that teacher to come over to our classroom for a minute. When the second teacher got there she had the girl repeat the question and everyone looked at the second teacher for an appropriate response. The second teacher thought about it again for a few minutes and said, "It feels like a big sneeze."

blink.gif blink.gif blink.gif

Um...yeah...I went to Catholic school by the way.



culturehandy
The sound of dental floss. I hate it when people stand around a use it, and the sound of dental floss flicking in and out of teeth, not cool.

People who spit their finger nails out. irritating.

People who talk about sports teams losses, and use "we" and don't play for the team. Like "we" could have done better. No, you aren't a part of the team, therefore you couldn't have actually lost the game, dumbass.

Loud chewing, revolting.

Loud breathing, unless you have a cold or some sort of respiratory disorder, there is no need for loud breathing. Ugh.

Pugs, that is wild about the orgasm!
doodlebug
Ew! Who would floss in front of other people? Who would stand around and floss in front of other people, I mean, perhaps leaving aside your partner or closest family members, IF you have to share the only bathoom in the morning? For that matter, who would floss anywhere but in private, with all those little bits of chewed up food being flung from one's mouth out into the universe? Keep it to yourselves, people!!

Just...eww.

Today's cob is a continuation of all the cold-related cobs in the world. Today's cob is about nose-blowing. It's about feeling like you've been nose-blowing forever, where at some point, you wind up going through a fresh tissue every five minutes, to no avail, because your nose fills up immediately after you blow it, and you start to wonder if surgical drainage tubing is the only answer. But THEN - this is the real cob - THEN it reaches the point where you are OVERblown, for lack of a better word. That special place you reach when you blow your nose and one of your ears plugs up. Oh sure, the plugging is only temporary, but still, WTF? And it keeps happening, over and over again, left ear, right ear, sometimes both ears, till you're scared to blow your nose, lest you burst an eardrum!

I hate that.
culturehandy
Pornbot's posting threads about peole pissing on each other.

People who don't use turn signals! Really, how hard is it to flick a piece of plastic up or down, it takes a nano second! In this city people are the worst for it.



ginger_kitty
People who walk in the street instead of using the sidewalk. Why when there is a perfectly safe/clean sidwalk would anyone choose to walk close to cars zooming by or block traffic? That annoys the hell out me.
anna k
I hate jaywalkers too trying to beat the cars and zip across or standing too close to me or right in front of me. One guy nearly got hit by a car and I wanted him to get hit.
sesame
Daylight saving time. Christ on a cracker, it just irks the hell out of me. I know, I know...better use of daylight, blah...energy savings, blah, blah...better for businesses, blah, blah, blah. Even with all of the justification in the world, I continue to find it annoying. The earth revolves around the sun, people. Let's just go with it.

(I get ridiculously cranky about this twice a year. One would think I'd have learned to deal with it by now.)
crazyoldcatlady
blu-ray.

i don't fucking care if i can see the actor's stray nose hairs because the definition is that good.

and for that matter, fuck HDTV. i have fucking rabbit ears, and all three of my channels have fuzzy reception anyway. if i don't care enough to get cable, i sure as hell don't care about definition.
llamas
Sesame, I completely agree! They need to pick one or the other (DST or standard, I mean) and go with it...I hate having my internal clock screwed up for a month twice a year.
culturehandy
tailgaters make me insane with anger.

People who open the door only wide enough so they can get through. I'm not asking you to hold the door open for me, but come on!

People who stand really close behind you in lines. Give me my fucking space! If I wanted you to ride my ass in the express checkout I'd tell you! The worst is in line ups at the bank! I have had people do this, and fuck off. Seriously.

People who do personal banking at drive through ATM's.
anna k
QUOTE
People who stand really close behind you in lines. Give me my fucking space! If I wanted you to ride my ass in the express checkout I'd tell you! The worst is in line ups at the bank! I have had people do this, and fuck off. Seriously.


Yes! I live in NYC, and I really hate this. I hate feeling like someone's breathing on me, waiting for me to move an inch so they can jump in my spot, or hearing them make sniffling noses and sucking their snot up their nose. I hate being that close to people, it makes me tense and irritable.
jsmith
A lot of things make my blood boil, but I discovered one today that's a real doozie.
Okay, I have some legitimate complaints about this society, and I was talking about them today to this guy. One thing I mentioned was how women tend to get treated in a sub-human manner in many parts of this society. He started talking about genital mutilation in Africa and how that is subhuman treatment, and I take for granted everything that I've got here.
Okay jackass, I KNOW what genital mutilation is, and it sure as hell is a big problem, but you know what??? That doesn't make the shit that goes on here OKAY. And don't fuckin tell me that I'm taking things for granted. You barely know me, you don't know what goes on in my head, what I appreciate and what I don't appreciate.
There are big problems in other parts in the world, but that doesn't mean I should be complacent and accept the shit that goes on in THIS part of the world. Fucker.
Okay, so pretty much anyone who tells me that I'm taking things for granted because I'm pointing out what's wrong with society is going to get their ass chewed on.
bustygirl
Interesting that a person who doesn't have to face either genital multilation in africa or the everyday sexism here should decide for you how to feel.

Male privilege much?
culturehandy
People who tell me how to do my job.

Male privilage.

Loud gum chewers. It's gum not cud.


missladyj
People who ask you for something

You give them what they want

They can't be bothered to say thank you!
Hey ,fuck you next time figure that shit out on your own



When you hold a door open for someone and they don't say thank you

Hey you're welcome asshole!


I may have potty mouth but I do have some manners!
bustygirl
Grrrrr......

I'm a small business. That means the things I buy to run the business and make the things I need to stay in business are exempt from sales tax. Why? So I don't pay TWICE--once when I buy the supplies and secondly when I sell the completed items to someone else.

In other words, you dried-up bitter old bead store nazi, you don't get to arbitrarily decide I can't have tax exempt status because something is on sale. That's all handled by the state, get it? That's why they call it STATE sales tax. Your company's prices have nothing to do with it, a sales tax exemption isn't a store discount, dipshit.

And you bet your wrinkled ass the state revenue board will be checking you out after I make a few phone calls on monday. If this is the way you've been doing it for seven years, they may want to take a look at your files a little closer than they have been.

Don't fuck with me, it's not my first time at the rodeo.
raisingirl
I WANT MY WEEKENDS BACK!

I fucking hate my new schedule.

I miss having a life.
candycane_girl
The people in a big crowded mall who seem to walk right up in my space and then cough or sneeze, mere inches from my face!! Um, ew!! That is disgusting and yeah it's crowded but it's not that crowded. Stop coughing in my space bubble!
culturehandy
People who try and tell me how to do my job.

People who go around acting like a supervisor when they aren't, nor have they been allocated to be acting supervisor.
girltrouble

when people can't say they are sorry, can't admit they are wrong, or, worse yet, they use lame boner tactics like getting mad at you over something trivial so they don't have to aplologize, but make you. grrrrrrr! grow up, for fucksake!
culturehandy
GT I agree! Step up to the plate, you'll get more respect in the long run. People who don't ante up piss me off bad.
girltrouble

elizebeth hassleback.
fergie.

ugh


crazyoldcatlady
HA! Gt, for a moment I thought I was looking in the Starfucker thread, and I was going to have to flame you if that were the case.

E. Hass is a pimple on the ass of womankind.
culturehandy
I second fergie,

And what's with that wannabe skater girl, oh yah, Avril Lavine, and her "new" look. She irritates me

8 out of 10 remade movies.
girltrouble

and condeleeeeeeeza. everytime i hear her i just get pissed off. is EVERYONE in the bush admin a bunch of incompetent kiss asses? gulp. guess so. i think i figured it out. bush was such an absolute loser that he gathered a bunch of other idiots and decided that he would have the worst administration ever in the hopes of proving that the repulican mantra that "government cannot be trusted."

oh, and this may get me flamed, but really, i am super sick of hillary. i thought she was pretty cool...till we went to war and she turned into a knock off republican in liberal clothing. now she doesn't want to withdraw the troops? that's the fucking last straw. i loathe her.

i am so with you on the movie remakes, culture, that and comic book movies.

and, catlady, if i EVER put someone of that timber on my starfucker list, i'll buy you a ticket to seattle to slap me around give me a wedgie and a swirly top.

LoveMyPugs
Annoying ass bitches who sit next to me in the computer lab at school and bump into me with their HUGE, OVERSTUFFED knock off purses over and over and never say sorry or excuse me. On second hand, people who bump into me and don't say excuse me PERIOD! That is so rude. I always say excuse me when I bump into someone. Isn't that the polite thing to do?

(((((gt))))) Hillary scares me. She's nuts.

CCCCCUUUUULLLLLTTTTTUUUUURRRRREEEEE HANDY! I am so pissed about Avril Lavine and her new bullshit look. You did it! Now I have to go to the virtual fightclub room! Sorry!
ginger_kitty
Ugh...Avril and freaking Ashley Simpson..."we are so punk, we are like super hard core punk....Okay that was just a phase now we want to be mainstream pretty." They both make me sick and angry. Does Avril have a new look....hasn't she always attempted to look skater or punk?

And the no orginal movie thing bugs me, too.


Drivers who turn right on red, just as you get the green light and then drive at a incredibley slow snail-like pace.
culturehandy
I hate it when people cut you off, and drive 20 kilometres under the speed limit. Farks.

pugs, smile.gif
jsmith
Idiots at my university who STOP at the entrance to parking lots waiting for a space! And then the clowns who STOP and wait behind the idiots, they don't bother to go around! They block traffic for christ's sake, and don't even give a damn!! And then they give me these appalled looks when I honk at them. Come now jerkoff, do you really expect me to WAIT behind your stupid ass??
lucizoe
Men on feminist blogs who are shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you) that conversations can happen that don't revolve around them, and then try to make it about them.

The women who fall for it. LET THEM EDUCATE THEIR OWN DAMN SELVES.

LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(ginger_kitty @ Mar 20 2007, 07:46 PM) *

Does Avril have a new look....hasn't she always attempted to look skater or punk?


Ginger -

She is no longer skater so much now. I suggest you go to Yahoo Launch and check out her new video Girlfriend. If it won't let you see it then you can make a free account and then it should let you view it. I think this particular video is free. It's really terrible. Kinda fucked up if you ask me.
ginger_kitty
QUOTE(lucizoe @ Mar 21 2007, 03:27 AM) *

Men on feminist blogs who are shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you) that conversations can happen that don't revolve around them, and then try to make it about them.




That's a serious pet peeve of mine as well.

pugs, christ! I need to bleach my eyes for watching that video. *wanders off attempting to forget it*
runningwestward
Officemates who come to work sicker then they were the day before. Whine about how they children were getting sick and now they are worse then before. Then continue to cough and sneeze all day. Now I'm sick. Gaaa. I'm so mad!
girltrouble

public radio stations' need to interrupt my favorite programs for money. damn you!!!!
anna k
Radio DJs yakking over the intro to a song. I like that Jack FM and NYC'S WFUV let the song play without DJ interruption.

I don't really care that Avril looks more girly. She's grown up, she might wanna look like a lady instead of a skater punk.
LoveMyPugs
anna k -

It wasn't so much that she looks more girly. Did you watch the video? Let me give you some lyrics from the song:

"Girlfriend"

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 1]
You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hell Yeah
I’m the motherfucking princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right


[Bridge]
She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 2]
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again


(And again and again and again!)

[Bridge]
She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better

There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!

[repeat]

[Chorus (repeat)]

The fucked up lyrics are in red. The thing that pisses me off is the way she acts in the video. I could take these lyrics or leave them but she comes off as so fucking conceited in the video. I mean she just got married and then puts out a video about taking someone's girlfriend. I think that's a fucked up message to be sending young people. Maybe I'm making too much of this but I think it's wrong. Last but not least, the girlfriend she's messing with is "nerdy" looking. This to me is telling chicks that if they want to take a "nerdy" girl's man it will be no problem. It's just a very immature video for someone who is "grown up" like you said. Totally different from the messages she used to send.
thereshegoes
that video has to be a joke. the nerdy girl looks so cute with her buddy holly glasses and her red hair with the bettie page bangs. avril looks like the fug child of fergie and hilary duff.

thank god i don't live in the suburbs anymore---i'm sure 12 yo white girls will be singing this at the pool and the mall all summer long.
bustygirl
Hmmmm. Better that Avril looks like what she is--a throwaway pop starlet.

'Cause she sure in fuck is not punk.
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