Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: You People Kick Bootay - The Mutual Admiration Society
The BUST Lounge > Forums > The F-Word
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
bunnyb
fuck that girltrouble. You get to throw vitriolic abuse around and not be called on it but we don't get to stand up to a bully? FUCK THAT. We are not taking it to PM with an insecure, paranoid sociopath because this deserves to be public since wombat has continually made things that don't concern her -or are malicious lies- public. I am sick and tired of this being accepted on the board, of no more than two or three people speaking out, but it's because the rest know there is no point because wombat won't listen or take responsibility for her actions. Why should we have to play nice? she hasn't.

Again, muchos props for yuefie for telling it like it is.
wombat
Seriously, bunny_b, I tried to speak up about not being dragged down into misery and cruelty, not even with pink sugar on top. But, perhaps illusion and a support group here on the internet is deeply necessary as a comfort for people. Interrupting cruelty and illusion can be more destructive than letting it continue.

zoya
i'm not part of this whole.. whatever it is.. but i just have one thing to say.

if you must keep this public, can you guys please take this somewhere else to argue it out? it really bums me out that this great, supportive thread is devolving into something really negative that has nothing to do with the bulk of busties, but with your own disagreement.

just sayin.
bunnyb
zoya, this has a lot to do with the bulk of BUSTies as wombat is continually attacking them but if you all want to ignore that then fine. wombat is never going to own her shit, accept responsibility and LISTEN. I give up.
wombat
In no way did I attack the bulk of busties, bunny.

Let's be genuinely supportive when we can be, ignore when we cannot.

It's the only way to deal with the internet.
bunnyb
and ignoring is the only way to deal with you and the rest of the deluded minority who can't see through your manipulation
mandolyn
to those of you who don't know why so many of us are fucking fed up, i would really recommend taking the time to read back thru wombat/whammy's posts. go back a month or two. it'll be a real-eye-opener.

and if you don't care, and just want to "go forward" and "stop dwelling on negativity", then that's fine. but many of us feel that this bullshit needs to be called on. these snide, insidious character assassinations - in the guise of wombat's twisted view of truth, honesty and her own demented form of armchair pyschology - are contaminating the lounge way more than any of our "negativity."

and wombat, i recommend you take your own advice from the confessions thread: "I am QUEEN of over the top these days. Note to self: try to keep things simple. Short and positive is the way to go. Confession: it is not easy for me to do that on Bust for a couple of reasons. must. though."

if you really care about busties and this place half as much as you claim to, you'll quit your negative personal vendettas.
roseviolet
With all due respect, can this discussion please be moved somewhere else? I most certainly understand why so many feel that this needs to be addressed publicly, but it's sad to have it taking place in a thread that is so obviously dedicated to expressing love and support. Afterall, this is the Mutual Admiration Society - not the Mutual Abhorrence Society. smile.gif
tesao
i heart plat. she is the bestest friend forever!!!

thank you, hunnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



treehugger
I also want to thank Plat for making the phone call, and Tesao for arranging it! You're both wonderful. smile.gif
greenbean
I think Zoya and Gilrtrouble kick BOOOO-Teh!

I don't think either of you are "deluded" or in the minority. I personally dont feel like spending all day reading months-old posts just so I can jump into a fray that has nothing to do with me, especially when I know that the Busties involved can take care of themselves. If that makes us all deluded so be it.

To be honest, I stay away from threads like these because of the high school, nay elementary school nature of it. I am quite aware of the clique that considers themselves "the bulk" of Busties that enjoys expressing "this is who I like" so then the ones that dont get named know where they stand. How about we start a thread called "pick your kickball team" instead?
girlygirlgag
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Feb 3 2007, 05:17 AM) *

lots of love for pugs, lilyblue, auralp, freckle, kayte, katie, GGG, girlbomb, wombat, princess e, mouse, stargazer, & the bdsm ladies,

and old school love for dusty, maimy & mandy



Awww, shucks! wub.gif

I love my Busties!
pollystyrene
QUOTE(yuefie @ Feb 4 2007, 07:34 PM) *

Snafooey, who always cracks me up and leaves me wishing she was more a presence around here.

Pixiedust for her tenacious spirit and grace.

Sidecar, Amilita, Sybarite, Dusty, Raisingirl, Pollystyrene, Bunnyb, Mornington, Mandolyn, Roseviolet, Stargazer, Plat, oh the list could go on for days. It's hard to name everyone 'cause Kvetchies rock.

As do the Okayers. Turbojenn, Falljackets, Doodlebug, Mouse, etc. I'm looking at YOU.

Special heartage for Minx for being a kickass, fierce mama lion who owns her shit.

And for all the other BUSTies who can actually grasp that consistent, direct, petty snideness (ie: continual attacks on board members) have no more wisdom, love, intelligence or virtue attached to them than the indirect variety do. rolleyes.gif


Aww, thanks yuefie! I second everyone she mentioned smile.gif
maimy
I started this thread. I started it after a flamewar, when the Lounge was a lot smaller than it is now, and back when I was one of the most abrasive personalities here. That was not a bad thing necessarily, at a certain point. The friction I addressed at the time actually DID involve "the bulk" of the membership. So the MAS was both a personal opportunity to address some particulars, and to do so on new ground plainly stipulated to be outside the bounds of all the bleeding static. The MAS wasn't even simply "neutral" ground - it was, and has always been, intended to be POSITIVE ground.

The longevity of this thing has always made me feel like I contributed something lasting and pleasant to the Lounge overall. And, as the "maiming" portion of my online persona has declined, I like to think the MAS is a better reflection of anything I have to offer than my old personae as "Dorky-Assed Lyricist" and/or "Thread Enforcer" would. Exclusivity and cliquishness were never forseen, any more than the legs this place has had.

If there is some sense that the MAS welcomes only a certain contingent, I am sorry for that outcome, though not exactly in the sense of "apologetic." I think it's a shame if BUSTies aren't participating freely *anywhere* they want to - here or otherwise - or if a threadful of shout outs is seen as too gradeschool for their attention.

It'd be nice if this thread didn't get subverted into a flamewar, but if this is the ground on which a flint is struck, this is where the spark happens.

Greenbean, a personal aside if I may: I've posted to you in this thread myself. If that offends, either because I singled you out, or because the whole idea of this thread is irksome, please accept my apologies. I would not have known until now.

If there is a significant population who would like to see the MAS sink to the bottom and get deleted, I hope it will be put forward as an option. It may be a worthwhile option for discussion.



As to the flamewar itself ... it is difficult for me to address. The situation is news to me, and I prefer to reserve judgement as opposed to hunting down damning testimony; I'm not really looking for reasons to ignore or ignite. It's not really affecting my opinions directly, but I'm open to learning, if there's anything instructive to be said.

As much as it's possible to have one, BUST is my home online, and BUSTies - of all stripes and opinions - are my compatriots in one way or another. THAT is what this place is here to say. That the community here, all the people who are part of it, have formed me and informed me for good, ill, and so-so. I am grateful for all of BUST, even this kind of thing. I am grateful for people who almost certainly cannot stand me, too. I'm glad that there's any form of voice like this - even the imperfect parts. BUST is still better than most of what is out there. And BUST is a special, important place.
zoya
i was just gonna let it go, but i wanted to clarify one little thing -

when i said the "bulk" of busties, I was referring to ALL the busties who participate, and even just read the posts (hell, I just lurked for a year before I ever posted, and I've been here for, god, I think about 6 or 7 years now - but i would still consider myself a bustie even when I just lurked & read the posts)

there are literally hundreds of women on this board. and I know nothing of this whole whatever-it-is, because I dont' participate in those threads, but it just seems to me on the surface that it's a pretty small contingent involved compared to the hundreds of busties (ie: the 'bulk') on this board, whether those hundreds of busties particpate actively or passively.

that's all.

I will say that I felt the same way as greenbean for a little while about this thread, kinda jr high, but then I really started to love it. I think that it's a great thing when we can tell someone what we love about them, and just as great when we, if we've been told we're loved, can accept it. So I really think it's a great supportive thread.

which is why i posted that below.

anyway, i am not gonna derail this thread any more,.

ok. 'nuff said.
greenbean
Zoya, thats exactly why I butted in, I think the bulk is 100+ Busties.

Aw, Maimy! You know I lurve you! I am not at all offended when you give me a shoutout! Everyone likes a shoutout! Especially coming from a lovely lady like you!

Let me explain myself here, I dont have a problem with idea of this thread or positive encouragement in general. *I* just don't feel comfortable doing a list of shout-outs because I know I will inevitably leave someone out, and maybe hurt someones feelings without realizing it. Thats all I meant by my comment. I apologize if it came off as snarky.

I know your intentions when creating this thread were good, no doubt. I just think you can tell how Busties are using it based on the pacing. Like, if someone does something cool or is back from not being here for awhile then of course its great to come in here and celebrate it. But if there is a flamewar and then immediatly during or after you see shout-outs for certain people involved, it just seems like a sneaky way to indirectly say whos side youre on, am I right? Which is fine and all I just dont like doing it myself.

I only popped in here because it bugged me what was going on. There seems to be an influx of flamewars lately (cuz its winter? dunno) and I've been doing my best to ignore the ones that dont involve me directly. I just got peeved today when I felt like its turned into a "youre either with us or against us" thing. THAT I find irksome. I've been in many debates or outright bitch-fighting on this board, and I don't expect the entire Bustie population to back me up. If anyone wants to its welcome, but why turn the whole Lounge into a warzone?

I love this community. There are a lot of great individuals on here, and I stress individuals. If certain people group together because they like common threads, thats normal and I admit to doing it too. But I'd hate to think that some Busties are afraid to give an opinion for fear that it doesn't jive with the majority or "bulk". (of course I'm not talking about trolls here, they SHOULD be afraid, very very afraid). tongue.gif
zoya
ps - I forgot to thank you greenbean, for the love! you too, kick bootay.
yuefie
Greenbean: I never meant my post to come off as "you're either with us or against us". Not in the very least. I suppose I should have separated the posts, then it would have avoided such confusion. And this current brouhaha didn't begin with my post here.

Nevertheless, if you found it offensive, I apologize. I don't like to jump in to these scuffles myself and have been called out for trying to "play nice" or expecting others to before. Like I said, damned if I do, damned if I don't. But when a member of this community continually launches insidious attacks on others under the guise of being "helpful", someone needs to step up to the plate. And if I have to be branded a mean girl for it, well then let the chips fall where they may. Sorry if that comes across as snarky, it's not. It's honestly how I feel. If you want to continue to discuss this, feel free to PM me.

As for singling people out, I don't see anything wrong with recognizing someone specific for something they've done to lift your spirits or make you smile. Some of these people I have communication with off the board. Sometimes I come in here just to give props to someone I never even speak directly to, that I happen to admire for their post or courage in a given situation. I don't agree that anyone should feel bad that they might miss someone. We are adults here, it isn't grade school.

Like I said above, if anyone would like to address it further, PM would be fine. I'd like to stop being the one repsonsible for the derailment of this thread.

maimy
GreenB, m'luv, thank you.

I use the MAS nowadays mostly to say what everyone knows: Mando is a deeply caring, impressively appealing person. I shamelessly wave around the fact that I know WalkingBitch in real life. I do like it when I see my name in here, but don't depend upon it to feel a part of the community as I did in my more intensive-posting days.

It is very hard to feel like you know everyone here, so when I see a hundred people *hearting* someone I see all the time but don't necessarily converse with directly often, it gives me an idea of who the heart-ees are - and who the heart-ers are too. I almost never know the threads being referenced when there's a "she's so great over there in the Kvetch thread" or whatever, and it doesn't lead me to read threads I don't already read, but it does give me a better idea of where the community stands even just from the context clues.

The MAS is just a spot for virtual boobie-squishin' hugs and the odd hair-brushing party (okay, less so now that Wicked doesn't come 'round ... *sigh*), and it is imperfect. Online relationships ARE imperfect, most of the time. But they are no less worthwhile, if you're willing to invest in 'em. I guess this thread is an open deposit box for one form of those investments. It's a great place to reach out to those you don't know well, too - nobody'll be insulted to find themselves hello'ed in here, or *hearted* or admired by someone they don't know too well yet. It's the easiest place for someone to post they might want to *get* to know someone better.

Okay, I'm shutting UP now. Threatening to become as verbose as I am pointless!

*Diggin' all you guys*
*And off to go brush my teeth*
yuefie
Maimy wub.gif

not for that post alone, but it certainly didn't hurt.

And I deeply admire all the BUSTies who participate in the threads that are hotbeds for debate and manage to keep it classy and focused. Particularly the ones who weathered the recent storms in the Porn & Feminism and Floggers threads.

girltrouble
bunny? are you high? not get called on it? after getting insulted in what i felt was a VERY PERSONAL WAY, i had a bustie (who will remain nameless) chide me for almost a week, inspite of my apologies. i have done my level best to keep my cool and be neutral in this affair, since it didn't invlove me, but hey, you want to make this about me and you? fucking feel free. i've got more than enough frustration i'd be more than happy to take out on you.
greenbean
Its all good, Yuefie! I definitely know what you mean about "damned if you do damned if you don't". And maybe I should have separated my posts too, cuz the first part was more of a reflection of what was going on in the momment, and the second part was more of something that I always felt, I just tend to keep it to myself. I also wanted to put it out there in case anyone didnt know me, that i do consider myself a regular Bustie, even tho I dont frequent these type of threads often.

As for the flamewars, I usually try and keep my cool. If I had kept my cool this time, I would have said exactly what Maimy had here: "The situation is news to me, and I prefer to reserve judgement as opposed to hunting down damning testimony; I'm not really looking for reasons to ignore or ignite. It's not really affecting my opinions directly". This is exactly how I felt, and I wish I could be as eloquent as Maims.

I also dont see why this issue with Wombat is so bad that we should all band together and try and curse her out of the Lounge, yet when Girltrouble has a very personal reason (IMO) to curse someone out, she is told its unnacceptable. Why are some Busties' reasons for cursing more valid than others? I'm not saying this to trivialize whatever it was that Wombat did/does, I'm just asking who draws the line at when its appropriate to tell another Bustie to "fuck off"....???

In attempt to reign in my contribution to the derailment....I will honor the thread and give a honest and totally sincere shout-out to Sybarite, for making me feel better today: you kick bootay! And a totally random shout-out to Ginger-Kitty. No real reason, other than I think shes cool and needs to know it!!
bunnyb
greenbean, to adress these points:

QUOTE
I also dont see why this issue with Wombat is so bad that we should all band together and try and curse her out of the Lounge, yet when Girltrouble has a very personal reason (IMO) to curse someone out, she is told its unnacceptable. Why are some Busties' reasons for cursing more valid than others? I'm not saying this to trivialize whatever it was that Wombat did/does, I'm just asking who draws the line at when its appropriate to tell another Bustie to "fuck off"....???


Wommybar (or whammy-bat) for the last couple of years has rubbed people up the wrong way, fair enough a few BUSTies do, peppered with several brouhahas with countless BUSTies (the amount of PMs I have received recently about run ins with wommybar is unbelievable) that -taken on their own -have been flash in the pan at times- in bulk are quite scary. Recently, however, she has intensified her attacks and made the okayers thread a very uncomfortable place to be until she chose to exile herself; she has attacked doodlebug for various reasons (diagnosed her as depressive, told her she was causing her own pain/illness, called her a manipulative liar etc etc), attacked minx's parenting skills in a godawful way, has stepped up her vendetta against tesao (that started in the letters thread years ago -as wombat- when she called tesao out for being someone she knew IRL, which is not the case) and has said that tes is domineering us all on the board with her insidious love of bdsm and her confident sexuality, she has attacked tesao's life choices, has called her a sociopath and a colonialist on separate occasions and that's hastily summarising, she has now launched a misogynist attack on yuefie for being a loving caregiver. All this as well as posting each time with a huge chip on her shoulder and enlightening a lot of us with her armchair psychology.

IMO, wommybar has spread more negativity, discord and personal attacks than most trolls.

Our opinions on the BDSM and Porn debacles differ, but I wasn't involved and I was simply shocked at the level and intensity of abuse that was seemingly accepted. Whatever we may be saying about wommybar, we're not calling her a fucking fuckstain.

However, your question about who draws the line is a very good one but not one that I can answer. We're not telling wommybar to fuck off, we're hoping she'll leave of her own volition or stop with the continual attacks against BUSTies.

maimy, apologies for the further derailment.
roseviolet
With all respect, could this discussion please be moved to the Derailment & Disagreement thread? Let's make an effort to get this thread back on topic. smile.gif


Much love goes out to Maimy for creating this thread so many years ago. It has always warmed my heart to see the expressions of admiration that pop up here. It's such a wonderful tribute to the positive ways this community contributes to our lives.
girltrouble
QUOTE
Whatever we may be saying about wommybar, we're not calling her a fucking fuckstain.


nope. instead you feel the need to bad mouth her in every other thread and spread the dischord. exactly what you talk about her doing. and where i was trying to get back to what was going on in this thread, i even pm'ed wombat, and asked her not to post it in other threads, and you feel the need to start shit with me? i tried to stay neutral, and you shit on me? chica, you really don't want this fight.

see my inclination is not to take sides till someone crosses me, so you think twice before you post a single thing about me, mama. this isn't about what wombat said to me, this is about you taking me on. AND TRUST ME. YOU DON'T WANT IT.

i don't care how many little threads you want to bad mouth me in, i don't care if you get every fucking person on this site to pm me, curse me out, call me a troll or block me or whatever. you want to start bad mouthing me, fine. i will follow your ass post for post, thread for thread. posting your shit every chance i get. i will have so many aliases you won't be able to keep track. you wanna make an enemy? post it. fucking post one more word about me. there's a space on here for you on my shit list. fucking fine by me. you got no one to blame but your own sorry ass.

and rose, i have nothing but respect for you, but i am sick of trying to do the right thing on this forum only to have somebody shit on me for it. i have no respect for this board, only a few people on it. so take it to a single thread? sorry. can't do it. i tried to squash this, but she seems to think the best thing to do is to air my dirty laundry in public, in a thread where it doesn't belong. so if that's the forum she wants, that's the forum she gets. she could have pm'd me, but she chose to post here. i'm done playing nice. if she didn't want trouble she wouldn't have started it with me, and she sure as shit shouldn't have brought up my shit in that last post. i warned her twice, so if she posts one single word about me, in ANY THREAD, it's fucking ON.
walkingbitch
Looks around and ducks in to scream Happy Birthday Le Maimstress!

Hope it's going ok!

wub.gif

NEVER MIND... SNAPPED FROM THE BIRTHDAY THREAD CAUSE I HAD SOME REALIZATION besides needing coffee....

I JUST WENT TO WISH MAIMY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERE AND JUST REALIZED THAT IT'S TOMORROW THE 7TH.
HEAD SLAP.
TODAY IS MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY.
HEAD SLAP AGAIN.
LOL
grrrlyouwant
much love to my pod peeps for giving me something to do with my zen other than watch videos and agonize over playlists. although, 20 episodes of daria literally in my pocket? that's pretty damn sweet. but keep the podcasts coming chicas! biggrin.gif
stargazer
for mando because she has been working very hard on taking care of herself and doing a kick ass job. even if she feels like she isn't doing enough. she still sounds like she is trying to kick the depression/anxiety to the curb!
yuefie
and I heart stargazer wub.gif

and a whole mess of BUSTies, whether I mention them here or not wink.gif

maimy
Flamewar my ass, I so wish my desire to kick WB's ass right now were not as riotously comical as, alas, it is doomed to be.

Everyone picture one of those stupid scenes in a sitcom where the short little person is literally held at arm's length - by the forehead - in the palm of a superior hand. Flailing.

That's my joy with The Bitch right now. Thanks for broadcasting.

tongue.gif



(As to the actual flamewar or call-it-what-you-will - I said earlier, if this is where the spark is struck, this is where the fire burns. I don't love it, but it also seems clear from many people's responses - and lack of it - that the fire isn't burning anyone who's not actually part of this. I don't mean to act in any way like I "own" this thread; more like it's my baby, of which I'm proud. But if my voice matters, I'll say I don't really mind if discussions occur in here. For good or ill.)







And I will take this moment to announce that one of the reasons I'm relatively sanguine about this situation is:



kog3100 is coming home on the 22nd. Only for two weeks, before going back to prepare for a permanent move. But the ticket is BOUGHT. He will be here in two weeks and less than two days. Wewt.
LoveMyPugs
Maimy -

I love you! If things don't work out with kog can you come live with me and Mr. Pug? smile.gif We can share him I promise. My two pugs will keep you warm at night. Although I think the warmth from your heart would over power them both. You are so sweet. rolleyes.gif I'm so glad when I see your avatar cause it means I'm going to read something wonderful. Happy Birthday! I'm so glad that kog is coming home to you. You deserve it. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do. blink.gif

*kiss and big fat hug*
snafooey
Thank you, Yuefie and Polly. biggrin.gif

So much more to say, but I know if I start, I'll start writing for twenty minutes and I'm in the middle of watching Freaks and Geeks right now. wink.gif
yuefie
I am here to express some mad love for greenbean. She is as level headed as they come and I look forward to knowing her better.
girltrouble
super-dooper props to yuefie. an amazingly good egg, and someone i love getting a pm from. thank you for trying to give me a good talking to, even with my perpetual hard-headedness. you've more than earned my respect and admiration this last week. you rawk!
walkingbitch
woohoo maims!

heh kick my ass. Yeah right. Even with my shaky grandma flappy toothpick arms and lack of energy, I think I could hold you off. lmao.

and happy birthday bitch-a-licious, and happy you are gonna get your booty rocked.

love yah
tesao
parabens, maimstress!!!

happy birthday, darling. sounds as if you are getting your bday present late, but wooooo hooooo! what a great present!! i had better get my fill of your maimy self now before kog gets there -- i KNOW you are going to disappear for a good long while after that. you deserve it!

greenbean
Doh, thanks yuefie!! That means a lot! (smiles sheepishly)

Happy birthday maimy!!!!!! But I guess your real present 'comes' in two weeks? tongue.gif

Snafooey, can i watch some freaks n geeks with you? I heart Desario!
wombat
You have insisted, over and over again, that I have posted things that are much worse than anything I have actually posted. If I've said it once, I've said it a dozen times -- I'm not in any way suggesting, nor have I ever suggested, that I or anyone else should disapprove of the mentally ill, the depressed, the people who have fetish sex, those in the sex trade, those with chronic illness, or those who live with or without kids in the equation of any of these. I had very specific and limited questions to Doodle and Minx and in no way was demonizing them in the way claimed. The same with Yuefie. They responded by jumping all over me and saying I had no right to any questions whatsoever. This made me feel that they were unreasonable, and, after a while, I cut contact.

I don't lurk on the Okayers or Kvetchies threads, either.

I've got nothing against what Tesao says about sex in the sex threads. I've got nothing against her when she is on a pleasant level of discourse in other threads. But she's been really cliquey from day one. And there was something wrong -- as in "Thanks for the visual!!" and "Whoah!! TMI!!" about her posting details about exactly how she loves to eat "cum" when she was right in the middle of a political and cultural discussion.

That's definitely not the first, last, or only time she's done something like that, either. I'm not trying to discourage her generally speaking, or drive her off, I merely think she needs to follow the same rules of appropriateness that we demand of others. If any male came on to the board and posted that way, we would call him out as a troll and block him instantly.

Any group in which you give one or two people that much privilege and indulgence has the potential to be very destructive.

The contrast between the way I am speaking to people in this dispute and the way people are speaking to me is very significant. I dispute this or that issue, I am not saying that anyone is an entirely bad person, as a few of you seem fit to say to me. I am not stooping so low as to make fun of someone's name, call names, swear, post unpleasant pictures, or rally the troops either. I suggest you look at that closely.

Now, excuse me, I am limiting my participation on Bust to very small amounts of time on a few genuinely positive threads. I have things to accomplish in my life, and I do not believe those things will be served by scapegoating others, or by allowing them to scapegoat me.

Lookin' forward to sillier conversations about the sillier things.
yuefie
This post that directed at wombat was moved to a more appropriate place, the Take It Outside thread. Sorry for the further derailment here.

And I want to express an abundance of admiration and love for LoveMyPugs for beginning the Apology Thread.



roseviolet
I just wanted to say how much I love the gang in OkayLand! You all have given me some hearty guffaws lately & I truly thank you for it! biggrin.gif
mornington
pugs. for starting the apology thread in f&f. thank you.
raisingirl
Happiest of birthdays to la belle Maimstress who I know didn't want this broadcast in the first place, but I couldn't let this day go by without saying SOMETHING. I shall make a toast from the Caribbean on that special day to your reunion with Mr. Kog. This will be a fantastic year for you, I know it will be. If I don't see you online for a couple of weeks, I will be THRILLED for you! I loves you, babe even though I've been a tease about moving down there and can't show you my love in person. wub.gif
maimy
Okay, thread drift be damned.

I am so grateful for those of you who have been making me feel like so much a part of this lounge lately. And I don't mean this thread and the birthday shit - I mean for the past few weeks, I have felt closer to this place and closer to quite a few BUSTies out there than I have in a long time (other than the ones I was already close to, of course). It's been a fairly conscious distancing on my part over the past couple of years, even though I do love this place.

With age, I became more circumspect, and vastly more private than I ever was in the past. I suspended my Bappy page years ago. I don't post about my personal life. I don't even keep up with Kvetch, which is in many ways the heart and soul of the Lounge, or at least the very best way to know others and know what is happening with them. And I have kept what is happening in my life, for the most part, very close to the vest.



My father died on my birthday four years ago today. WB and I had to go through that experience together; her mother died two weeks before dad. We had a lot of After School Special moments about it, and I think there were days I was the only person who could make her laugh, and she's very often the only person who even *wants* to make me laugh. She's an incredible, special woman, floppy arms and all, and I've never known anyone with the punch of charisma she embodies as lightly and easily as the President embodies stupidity. She's also quite ludicrously beautiful - and I recommend highly taking any opportunity to lay eyes on her fabulousness.

WB is the first person who ever PM'd me from BUST. Dude. I received my first personal greeting from a goddess. And I still remember what she said: "I just wanted to tell you I think you are a fucking riot."

*Doing the Lounge Singer Sincerity face at the Bitch*

Babe, I treasure you.

Mando is the first BUSTie every year who remembers my birthday, and she always sends a beautiful word. She and I might go two or three months without remembering to email, but she never.ever.forgets my birthday. She's a genuine beauty, and a genuine heart. I admire her, and still hope to meet her one of these days. *Kisses, bella*

Pugs, you've been so dear too lately. I don't think you know the effect it has on me to see myself called "sweet" and to have someone respond to me the way you do. I'm not accustomed to being found sweet, and ... I rather like it. Ask WB how people usually react to me. Heh - ask kog3100.

Raisin. My teasing, how-the-hell-long-do-we-have-to-know-each-other-before-we-actually-speak-or-meet-or-something, never-moving-to-be-near-me, Raisin. I forgive you for living far away. But one of these days, sistah. One of these days.

Things are good and things are bad in my life right now. When I am distracted from its being my birthday, I can have a good day. When I come home, and am alone again, all I can think of is my father turning purple, his lips pursed, lost to morphine, laboring only to breathe his last. I remember praying, asking that if he must be made to suffer, I'd rather he died on my birthday than live another. I remember holding hands with my brother, in sleet and snow, at four in the morning, arriving at the hospital after he did die hours later.

I remember watching his sister die just last year. It was so eerily familiar. But she was so much quieter. I held her hand as I had held his, and asked her to ...

I don't remember that, actually. Just to be with him, as we no longer can down here.



And I remember the man who came to me in the strange light of midday, as I scrabbled around my house, filthy with grief and with sweat and with incompetency, wearing the same sweater I had worn in the hospital, imbued with death - and I remember how he put his hands across my back, and nothing in my life ever felt quite like that except my father rubbing my back. My Knight of Gold, my faraway, my whispered daemon, my evil, my just-right, my perfect, my friend. Possibly my best friend. He thinks I have been generous to wait so long for him.

He has no idea.

He brought me out of a tomb.



My father died four years ago today, and I miss him so much.

My Love first said "I love you" four years ago today, and I am forever blessed.







There is so much I am so grateful to have.

BUST is one part of that.

*Booby-squishin' hugs all 'round, including Wombat*
bunnyb
(((maimy))) so bittersweet. I'm sorry I can't be as eloquent as you, I don't have it in me just now.

(((gingerkitty, raisin, pixie, treehugger, mornington, rose, yuefie, maddy, girlygirlgag, polly, faerietails)))
greenbean
(((((MAIMY!!!!!!)))))

You totally got me choked up. I'm really close with my dad and now that hes getting older I'm constantly thinking about the inevitable sad.gif

i'm sorry for your pain. you are a beautiful person. (((hugs)))
roseviolet
Maimy, people like you and posts like yours are what keep me coming back to this unpredictable community. Thank you so so much for opening up to us. ((((((Maims))))))
stargazer
very touching maimy. very sweet. made me get all choked up. you have always seemed like big sister of sorts to me on this thread. giving advice, reminding newbies to check in....i've really appreciated you on here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
wombat
Aw, maimy, you are such a sweetie. Sorry about your dad. and ((maimy)) It's so good to find people who are going through what you've been through.

You know, later last night, I realized that if Tesao seems "cliquey," it is probably because she is not like everybody else (most of us aren't around here smile.gif ) and feels that only certain people will accept her and she has to make a safe space for that.

And, really, I feel the same. For me to confess that my dad was mentally ill was something I have never done except with very very close IRL friends. And it still skeeves me out that I did it.

I did because I wanted people on here who are struggling with mental illnesses or other stigmas to know that I wasn't trying to make them feel worse than they already do. I believe this is an important place for people to deal with -- whatever they feel is unacceptable to the world at large -- and also celebrate their strengths and successes. They have a whole self and whole world that has nothing to do with the big old stigma and there needs to be recognition of that.

For me, I'm going in the opposite direction -- for me it is important to become less involved in people's pain and in trying to alleviate it -- rather than MORE -- here as in many places, that is misunderstood as judgement or condemnation on my part, and it is not. For me, the struggle is all about not getting dragged down in survivor's guilt.

For others, well, there are as many different kind of struggles as there are flavors of ice cream -- I just hope we can be honest and still respectful as much as possible, when we start "shouting" because somebody poked a delicate spot, I hope we can make up.

And, I have faith that can happen, and that is why I love busties.

I love busties, whether you like me or not, whether you agree with me or not.

For real.

Every last one of you.
maimy
Greenbean, Rose, Star - thank you.

Wombat ... *throws a dorky-guy-can't-express-himself-emotional-shoulder-punch* ...



I have to laugh at myself a little, everyone getting choked up at what I wrote. It doesn't seem so long ago the main thing I could "get" others was laid, with my smuttier posts. *Does that dorky-can't-express-herself thing*

Special thanks to ChaCha for the PM. I dig ya like a double-wide grave, lady. Yer the goods.

*Boob-squishin' hugs all around*
mornington
((((maimy)))) that brought tears to my eyes. you're a wonderful, sweet and kindhearted person.

wombat, thank you.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.