Oct 9 2008, 06:06 AM
dear dumbshit client guy I have to work with this weekend -
you are a fucking moron. Your misguided anal-retentiveness has caused way too much of my time to be wasted on this project, when it should be simple and straightforward. Can't you get through your skull that your project is like the shitty garage band that managed to get a gig on a wednesday night in the bar down the street, not fucking AC/DC? And the fact that I'm even entertaining some of your bullshit requests and putting up with some of your crap is a testament to how lucky you are to be working with me and not some of my other colleagues who would have probably smacked the shit out of you by now.
you are a pathetic little man. You, with your fucking shitty garage band of a project don't even realize that I'm also working on a couple things that ARE AC/DC size projects, and THEY demand less of my time than you.
I can't fucking wait until this weekend is over and I never have to deal with you again.
now fuck off.
Oct 9 2008, 09:03 AM
Dear man who I'm pretty sure starpiste is referring to,
This is why we don't want you here. You have a myopic view of a complex issue that's different for everyone and have no clue of the irritation you're causing.
It really, really pisses me off that Busties feel they can't even post in the thread because they'd have to deal with you.
I know you think you're being helpful, but you're not.
I know you're going through this yourself, but what works for you doesn't work for everyone and not everyone with the same issues is automatically get along with each other.
I know you're going to take this really personally and and want to post some "woe is me" martyr comment, but that's too bad.
I hope you get better and find happiness somewhere, I really do- I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, but I care more about the Busties who have established themselves here and get along with everyone else than someone who's repeatedly made an ass of themselves and has been asked to go away.
I'm sure there are lots of places where your advice would be appreciated. This just isn't it.
Please just go away. Do not apologize, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, just stop posting.
Oct 9 2008, 05:13 PM
Can I just say I had an awesome time today? Having lunch with the class of '50 was BOSS. A lot of them were typical old people, but Everett & Vernon were characters. It was interesting hearing stories about your life as a young man. Since me da was cut down just as we were getting to know each other as adults, it's nice to get to know a little more about you. The image of you having ever even *thought* about drinking a beer . . . was astounding. You totally fucking rock, grandad.
P.S. While the fact that you still drive scares the fuck out of me, that cop was a total cunt for giving you a traffic ticket. Really. There's a METH frenzy around this town & a large part of the population is at least half in the bag. She had better things to be doing than busting a seventy-something for parking on the wrong side of the road. And the fact that she called a sheriff for back-up? We ain't crazy negros, no siree Bob. What did she think you were gonna do? Pop a cap in her ass? Retard.
Oct 10 2008, 06:47 AM
enough w/ the passive-aggressive already.
I am not going to bend to your will. not even when you trot out stuff from way back when that I had no possible idea about.. that wasn't even related to the subject at hand!
once again- this is My Home. OUR HOME. me, frecklette's (the 3 fur kids) & the mr's & if we don't want an extra semi-unknown kid there in addition to you & dad & the other in-laws-- that's Our Right.
it's Thanksgiving AND My Birthday. it's a huge and special Celebration- you know it's always been my favorite holiday of the whole year next to St Pat's. the mr will have hardly gotten back home again at that.
.. I can't "beat you" at the what I'm going through stuff right now.. bc you are clearly the Queen of All Things Depressed & Otherwise, and bc you make it such a point to negate & dismiss my slowly & painfully recovered memories as it is.
.. writing this is making me wonder why in the Hell am I fighting so hard for this visit at all still ?
at this point I wish I could revoke the invitation.. get the upper hand for a change, but that's not how the game is played. that is out of step to the intricate pattern established & what would happen then? the world stop spinning?
I know in my heart of hearts you will use this as the Deal Breaker and bail on me anyway, as ultimately you always do but yet time after time I get my heart set up & hopeful for a different outcome- the very definition of insanity.
I'm not even holding out for pie now.
I wish for once I was enough for you.
youngest & clearly not brightest Daughter
Oct 10 2008, 02:16 PM
Y'know it doesn't have to be sharp. The rusty edge of a can? Yeah, that can end things promptly if you hit the carotid. Don't go for the femoral unless you're a total ass. Nobody needs to be cleaning that shit up. KEEP IT CLEAN. Do yourself right in the end, bitch. Toss that grip of cash around to people who really need it. You just suck up air after all. Make sure to spread the rest out, you greedy cunt.
Oct 10 2008, 03:16 PM
c'mon. please don't do that. you know i worry about you, don't you? i know we send notes back and forth we are all silly and goofy and make each other laugh, but you know you mean so f'ing much to me don't you? tell me you do. sometimes i don't know how i'd cope around here if you weren't in here having my back.
look, i don't know what's going on in your life right now, but you've got me scared. you know me, you tell me things like that, and i start wringing my hands, and walking the floor with worry. i call your house 3, 4 times and let the phone ring till it disconnects and GODDAMN GET AN ANSWERING MACHINE, woman, so at the very least when you are feeling down you can hear me tell you how much i think the world of you. how much you f'ing make me laugh. and how much i really do love you, and how fucking hard it would be around here without you, and your funny bones.
what's more i hate being such a worry wart, but you mean to much to me. you do. so stop fucking around. stop scaring me and call me or pick up your phone or something to let me know you are ok. OK? please?
still looking up at you in wonder,
ps, if you do something stupid, mark my words i will find you in the after life and read you the riot act, because i have had 2 hours of sleep in the last two days and i am to fucking tired to have to hunt down your sorry ass because you didn't know how much you were adored.
so take your head out of your ass and learn to love yourself as much as we love you, bitch.
Oct 10 2008, 06:11 PM
me: forgive yourself for your transgressions. you loved. you gave of yourself. never be sorry for that.
Oct 11 2008, 12:16 AM
You have to believe it to have it happen; that's what they say, right? That's what he says. That's what they've all said, really. But he's the only one so far that could possibly make me believe it, too, when he says it.
I never knew an opportunity to present itself, in my life, that felt....so right as the one that is facing me now. If I am learning to trust myself and my own instincts (at last), then I must believe this is really all happening, right? The band, the man, the chance at a pleasant, permanent day job that I can hold down, while I pursue music as my life, in the man's burgeoning recording studio/musicians' collective? Yes? Because if I have to believe it to get it, then by god, I want to believe.
If it's true. If it's true. Oh, it's all way too fucking perfect so far. It scares the shit out of me. And HAVING it be true scares the shit out of me. It's exactly what he said: people are afraid of having their dreams come true. It's just that it's all too fucking perfect somehow. It feels like it can't be real. I don't know why that is.
I mean, come on. Really? Can this all be happening? Am I going after music and a real relationship at last? It's been one year and seven months into my two year plan to see where my heart and life takes me. And these are the two things that have presented themselves:
1) I have somehow become romantically entangled with a really fucking talented fucking musician, whom I respect and trust a whole lot. And who is building a recording booth in his house. Which is a really fucking cool and funky piece of an old warehouse. Also with a stage now, that I helped build, and all the sound and musical equipment you could want. (And he seduced me on his new stage, the day it was built.) Seriously, this is happening? And by the way, he is a really amazing man whom I have already known for a year, as a fellow musician and mentor of sorts. (Whom I've just discovered knows and loves - wait for it - Mary Chapin Carpenter as much as I do, in the same bloody way I do.) And, oh yeah, he's the most awesome and cool and real human being I've ever known. Really??
2) And now, apparently, I am putting a band together. No seriously, I am doing this. I've talked to two musicians about it, and they are taking me seriously. The bass player and his wife have invited me (and the aforementioned musician) to Thanksgiving festivities this Sunday. This bass player is awesome. He does something new to my own songs, and he really wants to play my songs, too. And we both really want to try writing together. And there is a drummer, too, whose rhythm sets my feet a-dancin', who is the neighbour of the bass player. It's like a band family is already forming. I am thinking (but only thinking) about whether the awesome man, who is also a lead guitarist, singer, and songwriter, might be persuaded to join us.
I mean, how can a person believe this is happening? Is it because of all the years of fear and disappointment that I find it so hard? But I want to believe. Yes, I want to. Because I am fucking talented, and I WILL say it. And I want to prove it. And I want love. Real, honest, good love. I already wrote a song about it, and it's one of my best motherfucking songs, if I do say so myself. I believe in those things, if nothing else. And if I've been given a second chance to choose a life for myself, then music is the one I choose. Even if it took nearly dying to get me there.
Because, honestly, I am having way too much fun. Seriously, I moshed at the man's jam the other night. I have never moshed in my entire life. Shit, if life begins at forty, and this is where my life begins, then bring it fucking on.
What will it take to make me believe, to stop always expecting disappointment around the corner?
Oct 11 2008, 04:22 AM
dear doodle -
believe it. it can happen. as someone said to me "you need to get over the fact that people like you and good things happen to you." I've had the most amazing journey in the last couple of years, because I just decided to get on the rollercoaster and go for the ride, not believing it couldn't happen.
Don't think. Just jump in, do what's in front of you and don't question it if it all seems right (and it seems like it from your letter) I promise you, you'll never regret it.
Oct 11 2008, 05:52 AM
For what its worth- a story from my family. My uncle, an all around cool, but VERY reclusive guy (Vientnam Vet, etc.) had a series of weird, wrong relationships. At age almost 50, he began dating this woman he met through his windsurfing "group" on a trip to Hawaii- and it turned out she lived only 10 min from him- 1 town over. Although to this day they've not married (like 14 years in), they own 2 houses together and are absolutly, completely, totally the most well suited couple. My aunt brought out all the wonderful qualities in my uncle that were JUST below the surface, and I suspect, he did the same for her.
It DOES happen, when you least expect it to, and when you need it most. Take this and run with it.
Oct 11 2008, 08:18 AM
Dear Loki (not the actual god, just a dude from work),
You're good. Fuck, you're good. You are so good that I'm not sure what is going on here. If it's random sex, then hey, we have the next month to have fun. If it's friendship or something along those lines, that will be fine too. All I know is last night I was tempted to take up smoking and really wanting more.
Oct 14 2008, 05:19 PM
don't be freaked out. text me back already!
i like you.
Oct 14 2008, 05:30 PM
A) Fuck You
Fuck you and C) no really Fuck you
I am not calling to see where you are . It was relief to not find you here. I am tired of the same onld shit over and over and over again. so Fuck you very much. I am sick of the promises and apologies only to have the same tired ass drama play out. Hope you are enjoying your pity party. I am so sick of this shit. Maybe I should take your advice.
Oct 15 2008, 03:44 PM
Beloved & mucho Supportive Busties:
the Mr is Back!!!!!! safe & sound, all intact original parts functioning normally
thank you all SO Much for being there to help me through a rough couple of months, I am, trully, indebted to you.
with much gratitude & appreciation,
Oct 15 2008, 04:05 PM
freckle, that's wonderful news!!!!
Oct 15 2008, 04:19 PM
yay, freckle and family! Is he back for good now? Or just on a break?
Oct 15 2008, 11:43 PM
Yayyy for my girl Freckle!! Glad he made it back in one piece. Much love girl!
Oct 19 2008, 04:03 AM
I just wanted to thank you all for not only the birthday wishes, but for all of you being the down right awesomest group of people. You really are wonderful and special.
Oct 19 2008, 06:33 PM
Shut. the. fuck. up.
Please, you need to shut the fuck up.
You annoy everyone and wear me out to the point where I don't even want to see another person. You hang around the guy I want to be with, and you make moves on him even though you are married. Nobody likes you and we all make fun of your drinking and constant chatter. Seriously, I have come close to maiming you twice already because you annoy me so much. You make me want to be a hermit and I actually want to be social, I want to talk to people but I can't because of you. So please go fucking die.
Oct 20 2008, 12:41 PM
While you're gone, I miss you more than words can say. Especially since I can't exactly say those words to anyone. Come back soon, k? It's better when you're here.
PS...scares me a little how much I miss you...
Oct 20 2008, 01:34 PM
((freckle)) on your man being home and for the post below to your mom... i'm kinda in the same place with things.
and realized something...
the other day i heard a kid at barnes and noble say to someone that he knows his parents didn't want him. that they told him he was a mistake. that he might have been a hole in the condom. and my heart broke. for him. and for me.
you tell me now that you are proud. you tell me NOW- that i have graduated and finally found a job and am getting my life organized and so on and so forth.
but i clearly remember last summer. 'you'll never find anyone because you're so difficult'. among the hundreds of comments you have made to me, off-handedly, over my 32 years. and um, last week- 'the work you've done up to now is helpful and not a waste, don't look at it that way sageykins'. i mean what?? when did i say that it was a waste?
you have done the best that you could in many ways....
but i just want to say it once, you really damaged me.
over and over. ...and over.
i have heard you tell me how unhappy you are with my decisions and how much i've disappointed you and how i don't get it right over and over and how i'm not enough. and i have believed that. every single day for my whole life. believed you. and that belief has made me... depressed, anxious, shy, afraid, worried, unaccepted, desperate, unhealthy, unsure, unstable, accepting of less than i deserve, emotional beyond belief, broken, nervous, lonely, sad, promiscuous, controlling, ... oh my god i could keep going. but...
now i understand where it came from, and now that i realize it, i'm done with it. so i won't be brooding over it and being angry with you and blaming you for the damage thats been done. because really... whats the point?
finally... no wait, i think this deserves caps and a louder voice- FINALLY i am going to accept myself and be happy with me and believe i am enough. because i am. i am capable. and not because my degrees say so. not because you helped me do this. not because anyone else has told me it. but because i am beginning to see it.
i wish things had been different and i didn't have to have spent all my life to this point believing untrue things about myself. but we grow from it. and i don't hate you or not love you or wish you were different. because you made mistakes. as have i. and somehow understanding this gives me more strength. and makes me feel better about myself.
i love you anyway.
your imperfect, anxiety ridden, unplanned, intelligent, beautiful, loving daughter
Oct 20 2008, 06:56 PM
you deserve a clean, safe place to live with no leaks, no bugs, no mean people, no mice, and a view of trees, not just buildings and water and ugly structures.
you deserve to be happy. this means having friends and being in a safe, clean, wonderful beautiful place to live.
you deserve to be creative and doing what you love. this means being able to work on what is important to you.
you deserve to be loved. you deserve to love.
you deserve support, and a family. that means people who are there for you, who are physically there for you when you need them.
you deserve to be in a place that is physically healthy for you. this means people will not test your chronic physical illnesses, nor will they question it.
you deserve to feel safe in your body. this means being treated with respect and dignity. this means having your boundaries respected. this means feeling safe to be who you are.
you deserve to laugh, have fun, and relax.
a prayer during hard times.
Oct 20 2008, 10:14 PM
Oct 22 2008, 09:40 PM
Fuck you for not giving me what I want, and stringing me along. Fuck you for saying, "It's always going to be that way for people like us. You know that."
I'm sorry. Sorry for doing to you what M is doing to me.
Fuck you for not being around when I need you. I knew you'd fall of the face of the earth when you got a ring.
Just get married already. Just do it. It's like a band-aid, do it while everyone else is. You're the last vanguard, you might as well fall so I can truly fulfill my destiny as the crazy old cat lady.
Stop eating so much fruit. It's getting kind of gross.
Oct 23 2008, 05:50 AM
Dear God of Apartments,
You're doing this for a reason, yes? A fucked up reason but a reason nonetheless? I can work with that, I can be more accepting if I can think of this pertaining to the bigger picture but, otherwise, I would think that you are a MOTHERFUCKER.
What did we ever do to you to deserve losing our lovely flat?
We haven't even been here for four weeks yet so is this some big, sick, cosmic joke?
Channel the upset, soak up the tears and be strong for your boy because he's barely holding it together.
As he said, you are together and wherever you are together is home.
Please send money ASAP.
Your poor daughter/in-law/granddaughter/niece
Oct 23 2008, 02:38 PM
Dear retail managers,
How do you expect people to NOT look for another job when you only give them TWO SHIFTS A WEEK! And why are you so unreasonable about working out scheduling with the other job?!?!?!? Efff you kids clothing store. You suck balls.
And manager, your eyebrows were drawn on. Fake. And you could tell.
Oct 24 2008, 09:45 AM
Dear R -
I'm sorry, I don't know how to do this. I don't. Not that there was anything wrong with staying last night, but I should have just gone home. I had shit to do this morning that logistically would have been easier if I'd spent the night at my place. What you don't know is that I'm terrified of being abandoned and I make myself way too available all the time because I don't know how to just let things happen over time. I was basically afraid NOT to stay - in fact, I'm so subconsciously afraid that each time will be THE LAST TIME we hang out, that I go to far in staying around, or making out with you like I"ll never see you again, that kind of thing. I don't even know if you've noticed it - but I have. It's my pattern, and I guess that it's a good thing for me that I'm recognizing it this early in the game, but I'm afraid it might not be early enough in this case. All this has nothing to do with you, it's something that has to do with so many years of emotional abuse growing up, and so many years of tearing it apart which has gotten me a lot better in areas like work and friendships - but I've never been in a position to even be in the infancy stages of things with a guy since I've really identified it and why I do it. So this is all new and fucking terrifying. In fact, the whole thing about why I stayed over, and why I didn't feel good about it just hit me like a freight train this morning. I know I'm on the verge of not coming off like the independent woman that I am. I'm not even quite sure how to balance that with you. Whether things work out between us or not is yet to be seen, but I know that if I don't stop with my old shit, they'll sure as shit be a lot closer to not working out, and not in an organic way. I hope I can rectify this with myself and be the woman that you were interested in hanging out with and getting to know. Right now, I feel totally out of control. I need to get a grip on myself and temper things - and I don't know how to do it. In the past, I would have done just what I did last night, and try to pull you closer - but that feels like shit. And I'm too scared to cut and run. I think I just need to back off for awhile. I don't know. I hope that it's not too late.
Oct 24 2008, 10:30 AM
(((((zoya and bunny))))))
Oct 24 2008, 08:25 PM
Three years ago today, we lost you. That still sounds bizarre to me. I guess I refuse to imagine the world without you in it.
Luckily, I can still see your face. I can hear your laughter. I can see you smiling at your sons ... and trying to hide that smile because you should really be scolding them, but you can't help but laugh anyway. Boy, do I understand that feeling.
Anyway. I don't want to linger on the sadness too much today. I'm going to embrace the positive and be grateful for the years you were in my life & all the love you gave me.
Miss & love you,
Oct 26 2008, 12:14 AM
(((((((bunnyb- zoya & rv)))))))))) many hugs & luv ( & great apts!) to all of you ~
Mom: are we cool now? you called, and I volleyed back w/ the statment " you're Not coming for Thanksgiving." making it no question, and therefore No BLAME.
it's such a complicated game we're playing, and I want to stop.
please, someday soon, be the Mom I actually need?
heavy hearted, youngest daughter
you did good today.
both w/ dealing w/ mom & with talking to the mr and being honest and falling apart and putting yourself back together again. you even managed the commisary w/ all the crowds of idiots!
you chica, are stronger. stronger, smarter, much more resilient than you realised till now..
while it's still a bit early to say this absolutely, I believe you Are going to be ok.
believing in you always with love,
Oct 26 2008, 07:17 PM
Dear love gods,
He's amazing, he's funny, he's my freakin' age, he's smart and he seems interested. Please don't just dangle him in front of me like a carrot. Please don't whip the rug out from underneath me this time. I like him so damn much that I could care less about being taller than him or that I'll have to meet his friends or other girls might like him. I don't just want him to hump and dump I want to keep him, if only for a little while. I've been working on my confidence and so long as you allow for starvation and a little guilt then I can keep up this togetherness act for as long as needs be. I'm tired of being pushed around by arrogant pricks and treated like property. I want a man who is my intellectual equal and will make me feel like I deserve him. I need someone who's young enough to want fun, want to live a bit of life before getting all pushy and asking me about 5 years down the line. I want to smile and laugh and hug and dance and just be around someone good. I think he can do all of those things for me if you just give us a chance. I'm not cut out for the single life and as everyone keeps telling me my attitude and my brains deserve better.
Oct 27 2008, 02:16 AM
You hurt me and I think you know that you hurt me. I think you knew that you were going to hurt me. I really wanted to call mean names and tell you you were a jerk, but there isn't a point to that. That just makes me the crazy girl. I came to you and asked you if wanted to keep seeing me when you started to show distance and you said that you did. I ignored my gut and tried to trust as best as I could. I could never be myself around you because I was so scared that you would leave because that is part of my biggest fear. You were smart enough to see that I am damaged and instead of letting go when I asked if we should you wanted to squeeze one more lay out of me. That is mean and you know it. It makes me sad that I even tried to get close to you. I want to shower whenever I think about you. Bad bad boy! *rolls up newspaper* I know that is just who you are and who you are sucks. I wish I saw your suckiness earlier.
Why are we running in to each other a lot? The sight of you also makes me sick. Please don't say hi to me if the stupid fate gods keep having us bump in to each other. You have a gross smile and when I see it sober it makes me feel gross.
It was scary reading you letter because I could have written it if i was more self aware and like to think of myself as pretty self aware. I wish I could make you tea or something right now and share fears and let you know something like hey, I have felt this way too and it freaks the shit out of me. It seriously makes me feel less alone, but also sad because it is such a scary feeling.
Oct 27 2008, 08:18 AM
I am ever going to be able to be with him? Ever?
I'd give just about anything to have you feel the same way about me as I do about you. I'm still afraid you're going to hurt me.
Oct 27 2008, 04:23 PM
So I ran into a mutual friend this weekend and we had a really long talk that eventually included some information about you. I can't even begin to tell you how freeing it was to hear that someone else ( publically) has seen the side of you that you tried so hard to hide. And I realize now that there was nothing I could have done, no amount of time and patience would have broken through your flawed thought process. You have a sickness and you need to do something about it before it kills you. But I know you won't. And it will be exactly as I told you my greatest fear was. Sad that I probably know how you would want that to go better than the people closest to you, if there even is anyone who has broken through the bitterness to be close to you.
I am revisiting some of my favorite haunts that we shared. I've been told you probably won't be there. But I hope you are just once. I think there is some air that needs to be cleared. I've respected your pain long enough.
Oct 27 2008, 06:57 PM
thank you for giving me your worst, most tattered period-stained pajama bottoms to wear while i sought refuge in your apartment for a few days.
wearing the rattiest clothes in your closet (since you wouldn't let me wear my own clothes in your apartment) made me feel like shit. don't you know i already feel really, really horrible given what's going on right now in my life? and don't fucking give me that "i must be inviting this into my universe" bullshit.
blaming people for shitty things that happen to them is clearly going to make them feel worse. shit, if i could think away all of the horrible things that happen in this world - including wars, horrendous sexual violence, and homelessness - then that would be quite a different universe. but i don't have that much control over the world, and i don't just make things happen by thinking them. this is not magic. this is life.
and, by the way, this is not my fault. this was not my fault. yes, you let me stay with you. that doesn't mean i should be made to feel dirtier, worse about myself, and ugly.
Oct 27 2008, 07:22 PM
Just bloody e-mail me or text me or message me or fucking anything. I CAN'T STAND THE WAITING!!
Dear Love Gods,
Come on, come on, come on, come on , COME ON!
No hurry. COOOOOME ONNNNN!
Oct 27 2008, 09:36 PM
Oct 28 2008, 10:24 AM
Wow, I haven't heard such a nasty tone of voice over the phone for some time. Lovely manner you've got there. I'm tempted not to put our business your way but that would be unprofessional, not that you'd be familiar with variations on professional behaviour in any case.
I hope whatever's pissing you off gets worse. Sincerely, Me
I miss you. You said some awesome things before you left--I love that we can still be so struck by each other even after years.
Have fun, you deserve a break, not least because you're so hard on yourself. See you soon. Love, me
Oct 28 2008, 11:05 AM
sleep well, dearest bun. I love you.
Oct 28 2008, 03:56 PM
What do you have against me? Seriously. Why does everything have to be so fucking hard for me? I don't need anymore fucking obstacles. I don't know what you are trying to prove to me or what I need to see. But, I'm just so tired of all of this. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being seen as the "problem." I am lost and confused. Can I get a break please?
exhausted and hopeless,
Oct 29 2008, 09:34 AM
For my own sanity and self preservation, I cannot continue going on like this. I am moving on. I love you, but I love me more
((((Persimmon and Star)))))
Oct 31 2008, 03:47 PM
please be all right. I'm worried.
If you're not all right, please know, wherever the hell you've got to, that I am so, so sorry my last words to you were pissed off. I knew better, but I couldn't bring myself to let the anger go. I never would have pegged myself as someone who'd forget that life is fragile and none of us can count on having just one more chance to take back angry words, but here I am. I hope you're just incommunicado because you've decided to give me time to cool off. Please be all right.
Nov 2 2008, 11:06 AM
You are the smartest, funniest, most awesomest woman I know. I am so glad we are still good friends and our band kicks so much ass. I love how we just don't give a fuck and just go out and have a total and complete blast.
There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I know you are only interested in HC because he is a slut. I have registered my displeasure with your decision to meet with him. You are a grown ass women and can take care of yourself.
I hope that someday you meet someone who appreciates how badass you are and can stand with you as an equal and love you.
you deserve so much more than what you settle for. I wish you believed this.
all my love
I don't understand you at all. You tell me nothing. Help me to understand.
Nov 2 2008, 03:31 PM
dear electoral universe-
I really, seriously, deeply cannot handle any more tension this year- please let us not fuck it up.
Nov 2 2008, 04:18 PM
Can we just be alone for a little while so I can tell you that I'm (deep breath) moving out at the end of the month? There are a lot of decisions you'll have to make regarding the future of this place. Please take this opportunity to change things. Live the way you want to, with people you want to live with and who want to live with you. Take the bigger room.
For some reason I fear that you won't take this well, but I think once you process it you'll realize how good this could be, for all of us.
It's been a really long time. This is a new chapter for me, and I'm freaked out, but there's no turning back. Hope we can still be friends.
Breathe. Change is good. Not wanting to live in a place where the pipes freeze and sports TV is blaring and pot smoke fills the air does not necessarily make you old and uptight. Maybe just a little bit older and a little bit more uptight.
Don't let anxiety get the best of you.
Nov 3 2008, 07:40 AM
dear john mccain:
if your intent is to get voters, then kindly Stop & Desist with the Robo Calls to my home that graphically describes partial-birth abortion.
I still haven't made up my mind 100% yet and it may not matter if the Ballots don't arrive in the mail TODAY anyway, but seriously dude- are you a palin clone or what? wtf?
at a loss,
Registered but still Undecided Voter
please, deliver the goods !
(if you do I'll cut back on my mindless junk catalog mail ey?)
Nov 4 2008, 01:03 AM
Stop with the passive-aggressiveness, you are annoying the wrong people with it. It isn't sarcasm, so stop pretending it is.
And if you really want to talk to someone, do it. Sheesh, you are no longer in junior high, so act like it.
--the part of you who is an adult
Nov 4 2008, 01:24 AM
What is faith anymore? What is pride..ego..believing in yourself? What do you have to that anybody wants to pay you for? But you know you have to keep trying, right? You left him. You left him and that was good. But you suffer the consequences of having been with him..and he suffers naught. He continues without suffer..and you strive. you strife. Accept that...and keep pushing. cry, but keep pushing. Please let someone give you a chance. Please let something happen in the right direction.... please let it happen in that direction that appeases your family and yourself. Please just do it for yourself if it happens...and please let THAT be the best choice. You know you want to just stay put for a long while..and just keep loving yourself..I know it's hard. I know how hard you are on yourself. It seems you must be stripped to know. Have you been too prideful in the past? Is this why you are being cast so low? Do you have to see the very bottom to know? or are these men in your life, family and lovers..just that big of assholes that they cannot see otherwise?
Please ME. Love ME. hold on to you.
Dear whatever the hell is up there somewhere ish,
Help. I beg. What is it I must do. What is it I must know to know what to do. Should I listen to my family or just do it what I must. Oh...enough with should's. Just tell me what to do that would be right. I'm tired of this.
and it's all up to me. poop.
Nov 4 2008, 05:38 PM
I hate you. I've never wished harm on another person before, but I hope that you suffer. I don't care how desperate you may have been, there is no excuse for what you did to a wonderful person. You got $180 and she got a lifetime of nightmares and panic attacks. You may have tried to excuse your actions by claiming desperation, but what you really wanted was power. Power over someone physically weaker than you, to humiliate and harm them. I hope your dick shrivels up and falls off you worthless piece of slime.
Nov 4 2008, 06:19 PM
I know it's your job to "get the story straight" and make sure you don't prosecute an innocent man, BUT there is absolutely NO reason to be such a consummate BITCH about it! I don't know what kind of person would kick someone when she's down like that. Someone who came to YOU for protection and understanding. It does not help your case to imply that she "made it up", I understand it's an interrogation tactic, but aren't there some sort of rules in place to protect sexual assault victims from such callous treatment? If not, there really needs to be. And I don't know where the f*ck you get off implying that she's a slut or that her activities that night somehow brought about her assault. You're a cold hearted bitch, the reason she didn't immediately call the police is that she was afraid of being treated EXACTLY the way you're treating her. If you really want people to report incidences of assault, you should try treating the victims with some modicum of respect and sympathy.