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rogue
Hehe, thanks coffee! I totally want to send it but I haaaate pissing people off/making people feel bad, even when it is completely deserved. And I think it might rock the boat more than the previous shit between us. Bah.

((((sassy)))) I'm sending some good vibes your way! =)
coffeebean
Yes Rogue!!! Gah! You took the words right out of my mouth. I find myself doing that often - biting my tongue for the sake of others feelings/not ricking the boat when really 1. a tongue lashing is really well deserved or 2. they don't deserve to have their feelings considered given that they don't consider the feelings of others. Yes, I may have just described members of my own immediate family as well! smile.gif
rogue
My life would be so much more awesome if I just said the shit I was thinking the moment I thought it. Seriously! I am of the belief that when someone is acting like/being a douchebag they should be told that they are acting like/being a douchebag but I just can't do it for some reason - okay, it's because I'm too nice. Eff being too nice, I want to be a bitch, gosh-darnit! Hehe!
classy lady
I hear you loud and clear Ms. Rogue- only my trouble is I think of the PERFECT comeback later that day and wish I would've said it back during the argument, knowing, however, that I would never actually have the guts to say an awesome zinger- courtesy of my Mid West upbringing and indoctrination of the "Minnesota Nice"
auralpoison
\ derail

QUOTE(rogue @ Nov 12 2009, 02:57 PM) *
My life would be so much more awesome if I just said the shit I was thinking the moment I thought it. Seriously! I am of the belief that when someone is acting like/being a douchebag they should be told that they are acting like/being a douchebag but I just can't do it for some reason - okay, it's because I'm too nice. Eff being too nice, I want to be a bitch, gosh-darnit! Hehe!


QUOTE(classy lady @ Nov 13 2009, 12:56 AM) *
I hear you loud and clear Ms. Rogue- only my trouble is I think of the PERFECT comeback later that day . . .


Being honest like that is not always the greatest proposition. Trust me, I know that of which I speak as I NEVER suffer from l‚„esprit de l‚„escalier. I let that shit fly. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

I was out with a gf once when a guy that had been sweatin' her (That she didn't have the ovaries to tell off) swooped in. He eventually said something like, "Y'know what they say about men with big hands & feet, dontcha?" I was bored with him & annoyed by her lack of assertiveness, so I said, "Yeah. Big gloves, big shoes, & he's probably a fuckin' clown. Can we go outside now?" I think I heard it in a movie, but it successfully shut him up & sent him packing.

In the bad way, I know that there are Busties that avoid me like the plague because I don't pussyfoot. I offend them, so they ignore me even though I do on rare occasion have something useful to contribute. I offended the shit out a newbie once because she was being douche-y & risking her health & I called her on it. What she really wanted was some tea, sympathy & for somebody to pat her on the head & tell her everything was gonna be all right. She was playing with her life, I wasn't gonna let that go.

Ah, you say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.

/end derail
sevenseconds
But you spare no one, AP. That makes it less personal and more like... an act of god?
Woah. Did I just call you that?
I must have seen some hard times in my day;)

PS: I like thy mysterious ways, in case i didn't make that clear...

(((((rogue, sassy, epi, zoya, gt, futura)))))
futura
AP, i, for one, think it's good you say the things you say. So people don't like eachother all the time. That's life. I like your style of not pussyfootin'.

The truth is not always what we want to hear. I don't think my diplomatic side is necessarily a good thing; my bff will comfort me when i'm down, but at the same time she is not afraid to call me on my shit. I appreciate that. And i will try to exercise that more often myself.

I lashed out this weekend, made a follow up call next Monday and i feel good about it. I bottle things up too much anyway and i think it might be a good time to start being more outwardly honest and open.

((((Rogue))))You deserve respect, even when it's just fun in the sack.

((((Sassy))))

(((((Epi)))))

Back to your regular scheduled letters.
rogue
I definitely hear you, AP, and I agree with futura - I like your style of not pussyfootin' as well. I think that's how it should be. I wouldn't be mean just for the sake of being mean but if someone needs to be told that they are being stupid, they should be told that. Re: my stepsister - she will be told that on this trip if she doesn't calm the hell down and shut the hell up. I think I'm going to take a leaf out of your book, AP - when it's necessary, I'll do it. I think that's a good way to look at things.
sybarite
You know, support doesn't = mindless back patting. Support = a considered response, which is what you and others here give AP.

Saying that, I'm a little backward in coming forward and offering constructive criticism myself. If I feel someone won't hear it (usually someone I don't know well, here or IRL) I just won't say it. Deaf ears and all that. I'll make the effort for people I'm closer to, but not for everyone. Which is actually a little lazy... this should be in confessions!

/more derailing



coffeebean
To a Select Few Ladies,

Why do you have to be like that? You think that you are being secretive but you are not that good at it. Then when you hurt people with your actions/words you don't seem to care. I hope that one day you will come to the realization that you are not collectively as 'good' as you think and then you all lose sleep over how badly you treated others.

Coffee
auralpoison
Dear J

I really don't get you people. The last time we spoke, you pretty much ended all communication with me. "I have nothing to say to you, Aural," & you hung up on me. I still don't know why you were so mad at me, but I suspect that you chose to take up the mantle of something that had NOTHING to do with you & was NOT your business. Because, y'know, you're a big old fucking drama queen that thrives on bullshit.

Suddenly now you want to be friends? I don't get it. And I don't know what to do. If I let you in, that leaves me open to people that I do NOT want in my business. And my only reason for wanting to let you back in is a self-serving one. I think I'll just let it lie for now.

AP

QUOTE(sevenseconds @ Nov 13 2009, 04:38 AM) *
... an act of god?


I generally prefer "force of nature". HA!

And , no, I don't actively set out to hurt people, but I don't candy coat either. That gal I offended? I did tell her if I knew her IRL, that I'd probably have smacked her in the back of the head, loudly given her the business for being so careless, & THEN I'd have given her a much needed hug.
spot-on
Dear Self

You have body issues, work on them! Seriously you are a great weight for your height and you are lean too. You have the body of an 18 year year old yet you are twice that age, why are you stressing? See beyond the body to what is lying behind it, you know what lies there you're just afraid of confronting it, guess what? You have to deal with it, and move on! You workout hard, you watch your diet, you eat healthy (for the most part) stop stressing, you look great! Accept it. I know it's tough but accept the new you and move on! You have a great life right now, with a man that loves you so freakin much, don't fuck it up with your insecurities!

---

B

Thank you, I don't deserve you. I don't know how/why you put up with me! I love you!


*(I told him this already but worth repeating)

---

M

You aren't perfect. Stop telling me shit about family and their problems when you aren't perfect. I tell you to stop investing so much of yourself into them when they take take and take but don't give, but you don't listen. You keep getting shit on, then moaning to me about it. Guess what? I don't give a fuck anymore. If you act like a doormat expect to get trod on!

----

Busties

You help more than you know! Just reading on this forum gives me hope

(((HUGS))))




phew I feel better now

Di
girltrouble
not sure if i should send this or not...




m, how many emails have i sent you?

i have been reaching out to you to try to find a way to resolve this. i told you in the FIRST letter i didn't know if i was still interested in friendship with you. so my de-friending you should be no surprise. you said you were fine with it. you said to wait, and i did. so i wrote you another note. i got a reply that was more interested in sarcasm and mocking me, than trying to find a solution.

honestly?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU WHEN YOU TREAT ME SO POORLY?

yet, i wrote you another note. i apologized for my anger, telling you how absolutely DEVASTATED i was by the things you said. i bit my tongue, when it would have been easier and felt better to return your venom. but instead of listening to me, you only mock me. look at your email above. it's more of the same. i've written you several heart felt notes, but deciding i've had enough, and quietly de-friending you is "drama?" you take digs at my "tendencies" and my maturity, then condescendingly, mockingly call me "honey," in an effort to hurt my feelings further. but....i'm being an adult, m. i'm not cursing, or calling you names or mocking you. i'm not being condesending or sarcastic or anything else. i'm just being honest. i've been trying to do the right thing.

but....YOU HURT ME. THIS WASN'T A SLIGHT TO ME, THIS WAS A DEEP WOUND. I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU, I DON'T KNOW IF OUR FRIENDSHIP WORKED FOR ME FROM THAT FIRST LETTER. this should not be news to you. i was at the bar today when you were today, but you couldn't be bothered to say anything to me. not even, "hey, thanks for letting us use your speakers, let's talk later, k?" it would have only taken 5 seconds, but you are too busy, and i'm not worth that time. that would have been friendship, that would have said that me and my friendship meant something to you. if you can't spare me 5 seconds, what we have isn't friendship. so why fake it?

look, i understand you are angry, but why? you have done little other than insult me for the last week. you have hurt my feelings, or try to over and over. but i'm not angry. it's clear to me you don't respect or care for me at all. so think of me de-friending you as me doing you a favor.

best wishes,
gt
zoya
GT -

get ready for a letter full of good 'ol sayings (cause they're true!!)

I say, if you haven't already sent it, don't send it. Just leave it be and jettison her, and the situation from your life.

remember what "they" say: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Sounds like you have tried more than once - in the past and now - to get her to understand. But she is telling you by her actions that she doesn't. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink - and sounds like you will never make her drink from your cup. And why should you? She's not your responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility, and that's it.

I think the universe shows us everything we need to know, we just need to be willing to see or do what it's putting in front of our face. Cut the crazymakers out of your life. It's a bummer (and scary) to leave the past behind, but you don't need to be the crazy one here.

I'm gonna get all philosophical (literally!) on you here: in the words of the Greek philosopher Epictetus:

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."

and just for good measure, I'll throw in another of his quotes (damn, I love Epictetus!!)

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."


Don't get sucked in to your past and your anger. Move forward. Let shit go for good - and sometimes that means letting people go without making a big fanfare of it.. just quietly move forward into what you know is right for you, and people be damned if they think you're crazy for it.

love you like Linus loves his blankie....

xoxo
zoya
stargazer
(((GT))) Ditto what Zoya said.

Great quotes btw, Zoya! smile.gif
girltrouble
haven't sent it, won't send it, and thank you, zoya + moonbeams.
y'all are the best.

i talked to another friend, their reaction was, "oh, fuck that bitch."

so i'll take your advise, not look back and send her swiftly down the poopchute.
culturehandy
GT

I'm with Zoya

She does not deserve you, walk away and don't look back

CH
Aithinne
Dear Mystery (also straight, kind, kinky) Man,

Please find me so we can be fuckbuddies. I would also enjoy some snuggling and long neverending hugs and kisses. Some spankings too please? I am very frustrated and would appreciate your time, sweetness and domination. Thank you.

-Me
sybarite
Edited as has been said...
zoya
Dear Universe -

I feel old, I feel invisible, I feel fat, I feel out of shape, I feel unattractive (ok, well just barely marginally attractive), I feel like the only thing I have going for me is my personality and I'm pretty exhausted having that be my only selling point. Yet I'm happy in my life in a lot of other ways. I don't have all the self-imposed, control freak stress I used to have, and my life in a lot of areas is going in a great direction.

Is it possible to be happy and yet lonely at the same time? Because that's how I feel.

I don't understand what you want from me. I really don't.

zoya

Persiflager
*delurks*

Zoya, those Epictetus quotations are fantastic. Thank you!

*relurks*
classy lady
Dear M and B,
You girls are so awesome yet I watch you both continually shrink before my eyes because you both stupidly go back to the guys who were never that great in the first place. They have told you time and time again that they've changed- but they haven't and you both have. You girls are the sassiest, spunkiest ladies I know but these guys (who let's face it- aren't THAT attractive, sweet, or funny) have got you crying and moping month after month. Things are good for a week (at best?) followed by 3 weeks of torture. They don't deserve you girls so stop accepting their lame ass excuses and go back to being your wonderful selves.

Note: This will dramatically increase the fun times we can have together and improve our friendships drastically.

Because I love you girls,
B
treehugger
g,

thanks for staying right by my side, even when the ultracold could've blown up. You're a truly good co-worker. And I think I'm developing a crush on you.
pants
Dear M

So hey, it's been 12 years, huh? You decided to send me your quirky little message on facebook that is currently making me regret every quirky message I've ever sent on Facebook. Yes, we did used to date. After that ill advised MO session at the bar. I remember it relatively clearly considering all the alcohol. I remember thinking you were kind of an asshole, but a fun one. And I remember learning that even the fun one's are still assholes. So if you date them, it probably won't end well. So thanks for that life lesson.

I'll probably write you back something polite later, because I'm a better person now than I was back then. You know, more mature, and nice, and sober, and smart, and just generally awesome. Because of all these things that have changed about me I will not say the following to you:

You suck. You stole all my jokes and my friends and you said you would call me back after something really miserable happened to me and then you never did and the next I heard you were dating someone else. You were a hugely manipulative prick. You manouvered me and H into what was possibly one of the most humiliating experiences of my life that left me crying at Denny's. No one should ever cry at Denny's. I blame you for it. Then you tried to steal my copy of On the Road. You couldn't just be happy with my friends and my best lines, you had to go for my favourite book! Who does that? What kind of miserable person refuses to return some's beloved copy of a beloved classic?

And now you're all 'Hey, I think we used to date' seriously, dude, whatever. You know we used to date. I hope you know you were a top grade dickweed when we dated. I'm aware that I was not especially pleasant as well, but for real, you were worse.

I'm going to write back with a pleasant response, because hey, I live in London now and you got fat and your beard sucks, therefore I win. And you just never know when an old acquaintance might come in handy, but you should know, that beneath this veneer of civility lies contempt and plenty of it. You are at best a reminder of the fact that I came through that horrible, horrible year a stronger and more interesting person; at worst, a reminder of my rubbish taste in men 12 years ago.

So yeah, hope that's okay.
C
rogue
Dear A,

Honestly, if I didn't think that this might be the last time I ever see you in our entire lives, I don't think I would be going on this trip. Not because I have to deal with someone I really don't want to deal with, but because I'm tired, A. I'm just so tired. All the time. Constantly. I don't want to do anything anymore. I want everyone to leave me alone. If I could be a rich, eccentric young lady (kind of like in the 1998 film version of Great Expectations, like Ms. Dinsmoor/Anne Bancroft, only young) who could hole herself up in her apartment and still survive, I would. I wouldn't see anyone most days. I'm just so tired.

I just want you to know that I do love you. That I'm here for you. That I'll put up with anything and anyone just to see you. Maybe that's unhealthy. Whatever. You mean a lot to me. I'm in your corner; I'm on your side. Always. If you listen hard enough you'll be able to hear me cheering you on, from wherever you are in the world. I promise.

I'm just so tired, but I can't wait to see you on Thursday.

Love, love, love.
-Rogue.

Also, ((((pants)))).
culturehandy
Dear Pants,

The last paragraph of your letter was pretty damned awesome.

CH

Dear Self,

What the fuck was with yesterday?? Well good to see you fell flat on your ass and little beetlejuice made a reappearance and you cried hysterically. Lovely.

Be well, take care of yourself dearie.

Self.
sassygrrl
Pants,

Reminds me of my FB siutation recently. Good for you.

Dear Mcgeek,

Look you tell me we need to start talking. I call you at work to ask you one frigging question, and you get snotty. I realize that you're at work, but just answer the damn question. Communication my ass.

Mom,

Yuck. You like Lady Gaga, but bitch at me for loving Up?

Self,

Just keep swimming. Don't worry too much about the job market and school right now. One thing at a time. Please also try to get out of the house more. It's good for one's health. The tears happen, and it's okay.

Self


rogue
Dear Bed,

You & Me - we've got a date tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. Tonight I'm gonna wash your sheets and make you up real pretty. For the next three days I'm gonna be your sugah-mama. Oh, yeah.

Lovingly,
Rogue.
culturehandy
Dear Beetlejuice,

could you fuck off, please. you're starting to piss me off and saying your name three times just isn't working.

CH

Dear P,

can we do something tonight? i'm feeling miserable, the only other people who can help don't live in this city, nevertheless the country.

H

Dear Momma goose,

If i could fly down and see you at this very moment, I would. I would love that so much.

baby goose.
coffeebean
Dear Self,

Although it is difficult to accept, he does have a progressive illness and there is nothing you can do to change it. You need to keep focusing on the memories you have of him before he was sick and cherish them to the fullest. You may be in for a very long ride even though it feels as though you have been on this ride forever. Be accepting of your bad days and don't be too hard on yourself.

CB
girltrouble
dear little debbie:

i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you!

seriously, WTF?!? i was all excited to find some luscious hohos in my corner store, i bought them with baited breath, and ran home with thoughts of shoving them immediately down my gullet, but once i got home i realized i should save them, wait for a perfect moment to savor them, so i did, and the next day it arrived. i was watching a pixar movie, and poured myself a nice tall glass of milk. imagine my surprise when i discovered YOU CHANGED THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE! what's worse you ruined my movie snack and the movie! fuck you! you owe me big time! you went from your moderately cheap faux choco, to the absolutely cheapest, nastiest choco. whyyyyyyyyy? are you kidding? did you think i would not notice? i miss the way the old chocolate used to fall off in flaky sheets, how the hohos were neat cylinders, now? now they are sloppy crap covered choc-o-dille impersonators. ARGH!!!! YOU SUCK! if i wanted a fucking chocodille, i'd fucking buy a fucking chocodile, you fucking little bitch!

good day!

i said, GOOD DAY!

your nemesis,
GT
culturehandy
GT, that is one of the best letters ever!!!
raisingirl
... not to mention the most suitable reference to Willy Wonka EVER! laugh.gif
zoya
GT - best. letter. ever. you rule! hahaha



Dear Universe -

All I want is a nice guy who gives a shit about me and lives it. Is that really too much to ask?

zoya.

deschatsrouge
Dear Cupid,

Don't shoot S. He can't have a crush on me. I don't want to feel this deep and disgusting guilt that I'm leading him on, even though I'm not. I don't want to have to tell him I'm a fag because I don't like telling people from Islamic countries that I only screw girls, it confuses them. He's an acquaintance, not someone who should have a boner for me. Lead him into the direction of a nice straight girl who wants babies.

Faggotly yours,
DCR

candycane_girl
Dear American busties,

Why do you refer to swiss cake rolls as ho hos? Do you have swiss cake rolls? Also, why do y'all have way more snack foods then us. Seriously, wtf is a chocodile?

Sincerely,
a Canadian
girltrouble
dear, candy,

we like our snacks. we are snackers. it is true, hohos are swiss rolls, or rather, they were. hoho is a brand name. like kleenex is to tissues. you should know by now, we americans (note how the us is the only real america), are a bunch of arrogant, assholesqe xenophobes, and anything that smacks of foreign needs to be culturally scrubbed and re-monikered for our consumption. we do not cotton to anything outside of our insular boarders.

but in light of recent events, of which i am sure you are familiar, i have decided that it is time to expand my personal borders. forthwith i shall be omitting the abomination known as hohos from my diet, in favor of the more internationalist, swiss rolls. i know this goes against many things we believe here in the states, like provoking other countries, starting wars, and butting into other's business, but i am feeling a bit...touched... i suppose i am influenced by obama, in that seeming neutral on somethings does not seem as bad as it once did. but i cannot be neutral on this: HOHOs SUCK DAWNKEE DEEKS! and another hoho will not pass my lips to the promised land known as my tummy.

thank you for your concern,
gt
sybarite
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif at GT's letter.

Also, there are chocolate-covered twinkies?? I've been out of the US too long.
auralpoison
Hostess Chocodiles are chocolate covered Twinkies.

Most of your big-name snack cakes are all run by IBC. Drake Cakes, Hostess, Dolly Madison, etc. are all the same company. I prefer DM products, I like the taste of the dyes the use in Zingers.
zoya
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Nov 19 2009, 04:29 AM) *
Most of your big-name snack cakes are all run by IBC. Drake Cakes, Hostess, Dolly Madison, etc. are all the same company. I prefer DM products, I like the taste of the dyes the use in Zingers.


Oh man, Zingers. My mom was a non-hostess lady (no idea why, probably cost) and I grew up on Zingers. There is something weird and plasticky tasting about them - but in a good way (?)

I do have to admit that I love me some ding dongs. mm.
rogue
Dear A,

I know you won't notice me missing today (I'm not as naive and stupid as the rest of our shared family thinks). I just wish that somehow I could get the card that I bought for you to you today (but it's impossible).

Anyway. Congratulations. Today was the last opportunity for us to ever see one another again. The window closed with my decision to stay here instead of travel up there with a family I would rather not have.

Wishing you all the best for your future endeavors and with love,
Rogue.


Dear Asshole of the Week,

Seriously. I know you have balls on the large side so you could have gathered them up to tell me that you no longer want anything to do with me. Like I told you before, I'm a big girl, I'm not a stalker, and I couldn't care less that you don't want to be with me. I just want to be your friend. But! Because of your more than childish actions, even that is no longer possible.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your pathetic life living at home with mommy and working at call centres.

Quite sincerely,
Rogue.
culturehandy
You know, I've never had a twinkie. In fact, I'm not big on snack food anymore. Although, all this conversation has me craving a wagon wheel I haven't had one in *years*

*drools*

spot-on
ooooh wagon wheels! Haven't had one of those in YEARS! I remember as a kid they seemed HUGE. Why do we grow up?
zoya
dear guy from last night -

I know our conversation was pushing the envelope of what a social conversation should be, but wow it was a good one. I thought it was great you called me out on pulling my girlie shit when you were just trying to be friendly. I love your take on things. I sincerely can't wait to meet up when I'm in town and hang out and talk some more. I'd love to get to know you better. You left a big impression.

x
zoya



raisingirl
Dear self,

Pull it together and get something done today. Your excuses of feeling ugly are looking really threadbare.

xo, moi
candycane_girl
Dear Americanos,

Okay, I could keep asking what all these items are (Zingers? Ding Dongs?!) but from now on I will just google them. All I can say is that America seems like a straaaaaange place!

Love,
Candy

p.s. It amazes me that American Taco Bell does not have fries supreme and yet has something called an enchirito which appears to just be a single enchilada.
crazyoldcatlady
universe:

please let it just be all in my head.

-cocl
zoya
Dear Mexican Food -

Fuck, I love you.

x
zoya
girltrouble
we don't mind telling you, candy, besides we think some of your foods are pretty strange too. smile.gif
candycane_girl
pfft, poutine is awesome and everyone knows it!
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