Waiter, waiter, there's a warrior in my soup!

Well, sword of.

That's funny. It's April. I thought we had those on the menu in March.

I do admit, the flavor is quite bold.

please don't tzu us!

Well, don't try to shield us from how you really feel.

Well, try to keep quiet about it, or we'll have crowds fighting for a table. If you don't like it, I can axe the chef to make something else.

Dammit, I told him you just wanted a pinch of mace!

Waiter, waiter, there's a dead guy in my soup!

Please, just carrion like nothing happened.

I assure you, all of our ingredients meet the stiffest standards.

It's nosfera-stew!

I'll have to ask you to decease with the complaints.

More evidence that this restaurant is in grave danger of being shut down by the health department.

eta:

Oh him? That's just Mort.

Well, if you want, we can get you some mourge.

Of corpse there is!

Well, don't blow a casket! We'll just get you a new bowl.

Just as long as you're not coffin.

Waiter, waiter, there's some plants in my soup!

The taste will fully bloom on your palate as you eat it. There is a bouquet of flavor awaiting you. It stems from our secret spices.

If you think that's good, wait until the en-tree.

Hang on, I think if I talk to the chef I can get to the root of the problem. Just don't soil yourself.

You must be smoking pot- there's nothing there!

Leaf it off to the side and I'll get you a new bowl as soon as I can.

Your taste buds will love it!

I don't know how those got in there again- the head chef has been garden the soup pot all night.

Oh, don't be a pansy. Just eat it.

Chef really rose to the occasion on this one. It's our most poplar flavor. Well, this one was made by Douglas fir sure. He's been trying to branch out. His Wife, Daisy's been helping out.

Well, the recipe calls for half a cup of flower.

Ooohhh, sukouyant!

"Well, we pride ourselves on serving only the most cultivated clientele."

would you like some maple flavouring in it? or perhaps some sage? do you need more thyme to eat it?

Yeah, buddy, that's what happens when you order the vegetable stew.

(not a pun, but I couldn't resist the Captain Obvious moment)

*ahem*

my last post should have read "would you like some sage advice?

sorry, trying to post too fast!

Waiter, waiter, there's a poet in my soup!

I didn't s e.e. it cumming.

The chef got it by the Pound!

That's just the Maxine Cumin.

I can tell the chef, but I think Hilda Dolittle about it.

Well, it's a recipe from Limerick.

i don't see how...we haven't changed the recipe a whit, man!

Haiku-d get you a new bowl if you would like.

Rumi has it that the chef doesn't kerouac about this soup.

don't worry, that's just the extra seasoning our chef put sonnet.

waiter, waiter, there's a WASP in my soup!

Hmmm...no takers? OK, OK. Bad example. How about...

Waiter, waiter, there's a magician in my soup!

i was gonna try and say something about clam chowder....but couldn't do it....

double post sorrieeee

I guess WASPs just aren't funny... I AM one, and I tried for days to think of an actual pun instead of my first reaction of snapping "that's not funny!"

/end ot -- will return when I think of a magician pun...

I just couldn't think of anything for WASP besides "Well only the best service for you" or something. I know what it stands for but that's about all I know. Anyway. Magicican.

Well, it IS rabbit soup.

Well, the chef seems to have disappeared.

Do you wand another one?

Well, it's better than finding a hare in your soup.

Waiter, waiter, there's a hat in my soup!

would you like to cap it off with some dessert?

so are you looking for ad-visor what?

But it's full to the brim.

Would you like a beret dessert instead?

Aren't you just bowler-ed over by the raspberry soup?

Sorry. REAL bad!

You must be getting pretty fed(ora) up with our soup menu by now.

oops, I thought you ordered the chapeau briand...

(is it tacky to answer your own pun challenge?)

Well, what touk you so long to notice it?

Well, if you want something else, I kangolet the chef know to whip you up something different.

I'll get you a new bowl. We have buckets of the stuff in the kitchen.

But's it's tri-corn chowder!