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zoya
I've been feeling weird all week, and now I realize that I'm heading into that dark spiral where I analyze every decision to death, because I can't make a decision, and I can't follow my gut on things, because my gut seems to be going in all different ways, or else it's my head that is trying to outthink my gut - I dunno. I've dealt with this for so long that I know what it feels like when it's coming, it's like the storm clouds rolling in - and I'm trying to not fight it, and not to judge myself on anything I decide to do or any decision I make. I kinda feel like I've already made a decision that I'll regret, but then again I don't know. So I'm trying to just not think about it and let it lie - because I can't change it now. yuk.
sassygrrl
Zoya, we seem to be under the same cloud. I know can hear the thunder...

My first week of work was very stressful. I then go to buy a formal dress for this fundraiser I'm working on Friday thinking that I'll be able to wear my "special occasion" jewelry with it(all of the jewelry was gold, diamond, and ruby). I now cannot find my high school graduation watch, or a ring/tennis bracelet set my parents gave me on my 21st birthday. This is milestone jewelry that I rarely wear. I'm just concerned I left it in Boston which was the last trip I took. I know they're just items, but I tore up the house looking for them, and to no avail. Fuck. All I've been doing is crying, and trying to work out. I'm trying not to get myself into a pattern of emotional eating.

I'd study, but I don't even think I can focus. I did go out and do some errands, but was in a total shitty mood.

(((everyone))))




rubberdollz
Ok so something must be in the air... the depression is setting in again.

I've been feeling angry, pissed off and I just want to be left alone. I come to work and I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to do my work and leave. F* it all. I go home and just want to do nothing but I've been forcing myself to stay busy so I don't get into a rut. The other night my husband came home from work and I just didn't want to talk to him. I snap at him and don't mean to but I'm just so annoyed.

Assholes at my fucking work are just pissing me off and it's stupid shit too. Why can't I crawl under my desk and just stay there. It's hard to even get the drive to work when I'm here.

I feel like I could cry at any moment or scream or do something.

Sassy... I hear ya too on tearing up the house looking for something. I about busted a nut when I was looking for something and couldn't find it. I was ready to blow my top! I hate feeling this way but it's hard to just snap out of it.
zoya
rubberdolz - I hear you on the wanting to be left alone - I'm super pre-period (as in, should get it in the day or two) which is always an emotional time for me, and this is my first period with my IUD, so I've got cramps to beat all (probably not compared to people who get cramps regularly, but I'm not one of them) I've had to hold myself back from snapping at my flatmate, when she's just trying to be nice to me; I've been completely hopeless as far as relationship woes, crying my eyes out; I have had all day to do about 3 pages worth of writing for work - on FORMS - and I haven't done it; and etc etc etc. my saving grace has been IMing with a couple good friends who have been great at listening to me vent, and watching the live inaguration coverage on abcnews.com.

I am trying so hard to not let events in my life affect my mood so much but personal relationships are such triggers for me. There have been some rays of light, also, and I'm not so completely at bottom that I can't see them, so that helps. I've also been moderating my drinking a lot so that helps. I should get more exercise, but these cramps aren't really condusive....

sorry, drifting into just rambling....


((((everyone))))
rubberdollz
So my husband just got home and I exploded. These moods are really getting to me. I got home and just flipped out, I was trying not to talk to him but he kept asking me what he did wrong and I let him have it. I'm so angry and sad all at the same time... I really hate being like this. I feel just blah... like I have anger and sadness all building up and I want to just blow my fucking top.

Yes I wish I was alone right now. I could have peace and quiet and come home to a nice clean house because I know that is the way I would leave it. I want to lock myself up in my bedroom and just not have any interruptions.

You know I don't even drink and if I do it's mild. I went and exercised today and felt so great and then I came home and every ounce of relaxation I had felt was gone.

Ugh....
anna k
((((((rubberdollz)))))) I'm so sorry. I hate that combination of anger and sadness, of crying and rage.

I feel depressed when I don't feel social enough. I chat with girls in my weekly dance class, chat with my co-workers, I really like my internship boss, and I try to keep myself busy both for my own sanity and to find new things to write about, and not be stuck in my head. I'd like to be more social, but I get shy about inviting people over to my apartment, feeling shy and eccentric. I don't know what I'd do or say. I also do meetups on meetup.com, but they're not always that great. I just feel like a lonely old loser when I crave more social interaction but don't always have it.
shinyx3
i know i have not posted in here before . . . at least i don't think so. if i have it was in significant and a while ago. i havn't really been much of a regular contributor on bust lately. i haven't really been much of anything to any one. i have a 19 month old baby and a 12 yo boy and a husband and a migrain problem that is ruining my life. i started taking topamax to help the migraines and i am a little over a month into the that but now i am so depressed i can hardly function. there are many side effects to topamax but depression is not a common one. i am not really sure what to do. i am having a really hard time being a mom and doing everyday things with my kids. it is a challenge to shower and brush my teeth on a daily basis. i feel like i am drowning.
jade
Shiny. You always have good advice for busties. Now you need to call your doctor right now. You need a med change and help thru this. We love you.
rubberdollz
Shinyx3... I am not sure what other kinds of methods you are interested in but have you thought about seeing a chiropractor for the headaches? I know it may sound weird but it may help relieve some of the pressure of a nerve in your back that is causing the headaches.

I am really sorry to hear that you are becoming depressed. It makes living so much more difficult and even doing a little task is overwhelming.

I hope you can figure out what is going on and get it taken care of!
shinyx3
somebody from my doctors office finally called back. it only took 2 days. since my doc is oot they called another doc and decided i should stop taking the miserable fucking evil topamax cold turkey amd call them on monday. ok, we will see what the weekend brings.
jade
Good to hear. And hope you get better as it leaves your system. What are your weekend plans?
jade
Shiny. I am sure you have read the literature on topamax. It does have history of depression. Drug company trials are tainted. Good article in rolling stone on drug company trials.
shinyx3
feeling better but very very tired. not the end of the world anymore though. that is good! i slept 12 hrs then took a nap and could take another one but don't have the opportunity. i have a pretty weird head ache but i am so much better that i don't even care.
amazonprincess
I haven't posted in here either and I don't want to derail the thread but I just did a keyword search on Topamax and here's where it landed me. I have spend the last week (just doubled the dose) increasingly depressed and crying and chalking it up to the fact that I'm on Yaz and the Topamax interferes with birth control. It's PMS time anyway but this is way beyond. I just read a website saying to call the doc if depression, anxiety and the like increase so I guess that's what I'd better do. Shiny, I'm sorry you're going through this too but I'm kind of relieved that it's not just me.
shinyx3
oh amazon, now that i am looking at this from the other side. i can see how bad i really was. i would not recommend this to anyone. if you are taking it for migraines (i know it is fda approved) the studies show that it has very little effectiveness. (nice to know this info now huh, after i went through hell) i just took my doc's word that it is a great drug. the list of side effects is a mile long with depression in 30% (that is pretty damn high) fortunatly i was not on for so long that coming off was hard to do. what was fucked up though is that my doc had told me that it was going to be a little difficult going on the drug so i thought it was all going to get better and then by the time it was so bad i was too depressed to really function. (i also had a lots of other side effects) i am totally off now thogh and feeling sooooo much better! i slept most of the first two days without it but now i feel normal! imho it is the devil! get off of it if you can.
amazonprincess
I feel ok today, but if I'm only up to 50 mg and if it's already doing this I'm not feeling optimistic. I'm having other side effects (soda tastes flat, fatigue, and of course now my birth control isn't effective) but I had no idea that this increase in depression and anxiety could be caused by the topamax. Now I'm not sure what to do. I've been treated for dysthymia in the past anyway and have been doing really well with natural supplements (Vit D, Omega 3, and exercise) and don't want to backslide. Plus my new dentist is pretty sure he can reduce my migraines with a new night guard. I'd better go do some more research.
shinyx3
i still have a few lingering side effects. i have a strange smell in my nose. (just mine, nobody else smells it) and i am having cluster migraines now. (never did before) but i am hopefull that these will go away soon and i feel so much better than i did that i almost don't even care.
amazonprincess
I went back down to 25 mg and now have stopped the topamax completely. I felt better about a day after cutting the dose in half and feel almost back to normal now. I'm so glad I came to the Lounge to see if anyone else had this experience. Oh, I had the weird smell thing, but when I started taking it.
p_176
anyone on wellbutrin? what was your experience with it? i've read that it does not have the same effects as other antidepressants....
zoya
I am. I like it a lot. when you first go on it, the doc will start you at a lower dosage for 2 weeks, then work you up into the dosage they want you at. Really keep an eye on yourself - I developed INSANE itching after about 2 weeks at the dosage the doctor originally wanted me at (200 mg / day - 100 morning, 100 night - which is a very low dose) the itching can be a common reaction to it and DAMN. like it was so bad that I was breaking the skin, scratching in my sleep. Doc had me go off of it for a few days, then dropped me down to 150mg SR (sustained release) once a day. That dosage is JUST above sub-therapeutic, but it works for me. No itching, no problems.

they'll tell you to take it in the morning, and if you are taking it twice a day, the second one will be in the early afternoon - they say you shouldn't take it too close to bed, because it can keep you awake, but I've never had that problem.

something that's great about wellbutrin is that you don't lose your sex drive - on the contrary, for the first 2 months or so, before my body really got regulated, I was SOOOO horny I could barely contain myself. It's levelled out now, but I definitely have lost NO drive for sex at all.

I also take a low dose daily of buspar, an anti anxiety medication - they prescribe it often with wellbutrin, as it can make you a bit "speedy" (I don't know if "speedy" is the right word, maybe just a touch more amped that usual - but not to the extent of extreme anxiety or anything). the combination of the two together works amazingly well for me. I'm just above sub therapeutic for each of the drugs, but they work - I still feel down sometimes, but I don't have the extremes I used to have with it. And even when I'm in a stressful situation, or depressed time period, I don't have the horrible knot in the pit of my stomach that I used to have all the time. It's just enough to make it so it's not so awful and i can deal better with things.

I know that wellbutrin can be used different ways, higher dosages than mine are more heavily anti-depressant, but apparently they're still more "light" than prozac or effexor. It's also supposed to be a lot mellower to taper off if / when you come off of it.
dolor
Celexa worked for me. During my really bad stretch. The initial dosage left me so buzzy that I couldn't think clearly.... This went on for days & daze...

But then a low dosage, 1/4 of the original amount, did what I needed: prevented those terrible, sometimes immobilizing, crashings of the spirit, in the evening. When you lose all the Spirit of Life. Those crushing bleak November evenings when all the light and energy had left the world outside... and my life inside....

The drug put this weird little sparkle into my mind that prevented the evening crashes. "Thank you, modern medecine!"

So, it was a matter of finding a dosage that was sufficient to get that weird sparkle in there, but not so much buzzy sparkle that.. I couldn't focus my mind, when I needed to.

Celexa also radically undermined my sexuality... but since I was alone... (which was a big part of being blue), I didn't miss it. Cut down on that crazy desire, taking over my imagination, my daydreaming.
olivarria
Hello BUSTees - I'm sorry I have not been in here for a long while as I've been busy with school and my internship. Unfortunately I am feeling a relapse coming on and I thought I would post here because I'm feeling kind of isolated right now. A depressive episode has just come out of the blue and I have no idea why. I am working with a therapist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy and I am on Prozac 40 mg. and Wellbutrin 300mg., but I having been having more and more depressive episodes, with increasing intensity. I went through this last semester and I really don't want to do it again. I have been doing the cognitive behavioral work but my symptoms just keep getting worse. I feel completely empty and unmotivated, and today I've had several crying spells - they just don't seem to stop. I am extremely tired and my muscles ache a lot - I'm also seeing a chiropractor this week to see if I may have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue. I feel like I can barely move out of bed!

Is there anyone else here who relapses often, or whose medicine sometimes stops being effective? Sometimes I think my brain gets used to the medication and becomes resistant? I am thinking of switching from Prozac to Zoloft, just to see if this may be the case. I am calling doctors tomorrow to see where I can get in. I'm going to try and rest for now. (((HUGS)))
50_foot
QUOTE(zoya @ Feb 27 2009, 09:44 AM) *
I am. I like it a lot. when you first go on it, the doc will start you at a lower dosage for 2 weeks, then work you up into the dosage they want you at. Really keep an eye on yourself - I developed INSANE itching after about 2 weeks at the dosage the doctor originally wanted me at (200 mg / day - 100 morning, 100 night - which is a very low dose) the itching can be a common reaction to it and DAMN. like it was so bad that I was breaking the skin, scratching in my sleep. Doc had me go off of it for a few days, then dropped me down to 150mg SR (sustained release) once a day. That dosage is JUST above sub-therapeutic, but it works for me. No itching, no problems.


I'm on Wellbutrin too..Itchiness is a side effect? Really I didn't know that. I have been having some unusual itchiness recently, but hadn't really attributed it to anything. Hm.

p176 - was there anything particular you wanted to know about the wellbutrin?

olivarria - really hope you're feeling better.

p_176
hi all -
i'm glad you are having good results with the wellbutrin and that it's not causing sexual side effects or weight gain like the other antidepressants are prone to do - so i've heard.

it looks like i might be able to start within the next week, so i can start staving off these damn PCOS symptoms.

p_176
candycane_girl
Ugh, I've been trying to avoid this thread. I don't know if I'm depressed but I just feel kind of blah. I have so much trouble just getting down to work and I keep wanting to sleep. I don't want to have to go back on medication again but I'm just not sure what to do.
zoya
50_foot - itchiness isn't a side effect of wellbutrin. You shouldn't have any excessive itchiness. Excessive itchiness is a sign that you're having a reaction to the medication - you'll know if the itchiness is reaction itchiness, trust me. Seriously, like so itchy I had to wear gloves to bed so I didn't scratch through my skin itchy. And if you've been on the drug awhile, then it's probably not the wellbutrin.

It happened to me when they upped my dosage when first starting it. I'd say it was about a month in from when I first started taking it, about two weeks after the dosage was upped from the initial "starter" dose. It was definitely a reaction. The doc took me off completely to see if the itching would go away - and it did, within two days. Then he put me on a lower dose and I've never had an issue since.
dolor
"I am extremely tired and my muscles ache a lot "

Hi Olivarria,

If I were facing your symptoms, I'd focus first on the medical /physiological issues. Figuring out why your muscles ache. Being depressed can make you tired, but the aching muscles invovle something else, I'd assume. If you can solve the physiological symptoms, then much of your psychological oppression might alleviate. That's often how it works.

Take care of yourself!

(Is there Lyme disease in TX?)
50_foot
Okay, so Zoya, you're saying that I'm just itchy? Thanks.
No I'm just kidding, it's not really a surprise. I have a lot of skin sensitivities and minor allergies that often manifest with itchiness. So it's likely due to that.

p176 - no, I haven't experienced any weight gain or sexual side effects from the drug. A few people have told me that when they tried Wellbutrin, it made them shaky. I have not had that though. A friend of mine who also takes it says that it helps improve his concentration. My doctor also told me it should help me be able to focus, but I think years of taking ADD meds interfered with that. The only thing I'll caution you on it is that you have to be real careful about mixing Wellbutrin and alcohol. (Well we all know that we ideally shouldn't be mixing any medications with alcohol, but---) My doctor warned me not to have more than 2 drinks at a time, to avoid being at significant risk for seizures. This may only apply to higher doses, I'm not sure. I believe the typical dose range is 100-400mg. Anyway, certainly you can find more detailed information online about it all.

candycane girl - are you okay? it sounds like you already know you are having some depression. Medications aren't necessarily the only option, if you'd rather avoid them. Do you see any type of therapist regularly? There's much to be said about cognitive behavioral therapy. In a slightly related way, there is also mindfulness meditation. Support groups. Are you getting any exercise? Hope I'm not being too intrusive with all my questions.

Hope everyone's having a good day
p_176
i've read that the itchiness is a minor side effect of wellbutrin.

I cannot wait to start taking it. I've been diagnosed with PCOS, which is a hormone disorder that can cause diabetes, depression, lack of periods etc. I am very frustrated with feeling bad or angry or crying all the time. I am excited to have some changes pending in my life.

I am trying to not be hopeful that Wellbutrin will help me lose some weight - because then it won't. But, if I can take the Wellbutrin, get my moods stabilized, maybe i can have more energy so i can exercise more regularly. If the Wellbutrin helps me lose weight, great, because then combined with actual exercise etc, I can lose some weight to get my blood sugars down, which will help regulate the hormones, so I won't have all the effects like high blood sugar and depression.

I've definitely read that you can't have alcohol with Wellbutrin. I've been phasing out drinking anyway - so my tolerance is basically shot - I'm back to the one drink and I'm buzzed levels! yay! and, lack of alcohol helps you lose weight too.

Olivarria - I've read that with PCOS, the hormones affect how you sleep - be careful of 'developing' chronic fatigue syndrome, or otherwise messing up your sleep schedule. lack of sleep can lead to soreness? if you can, take a sleeping pill to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, then find a way to push through it to get some exercise, which will help your moods. good luck!
Lunalu
p_176,

I'm on the same page with you, I have PCOS and I'm on wellbutrin for depression. But I dont have good news to give you on weight management about wellbutrin. I've been on Wellbutrin over 6 months now, and I didn't see any weight changes, (gain or lose) it didn't help me lose weight, but good thing it didnt make me gain weight like Zoloft that I was taking before wellbutrin. Also, wellbutrin is not really helping me to be more energetic, as much as I want to, it's just OK, and it's been better than other anti-depressants I took in the past.. the only thing it helps is my mood swings.. it's at a level now it is stabilized. I sometimes feel emotion-less, which is kind of better than to be crying at every little nonsense thing. Since now I'm at OK place to quit, I'm thinking off going off of wellbutrin pretty soon.
For my PCOS, I've started seeing a naturapath, and through various supplements, and herbal glycemic index pills, I'm trying to lose a little weight, it's been about 3 weeks since I've started taking supplements, and I have lost 5lbs. during the last a week, 10 days... I'm not sure exactly what is helping, because I've also started going to acupuncture to trigger my periods (which I'm late over 2 months now) so the acupuncture may be helping with the weight issues... or the supplements. I'm not sure which one. To stabilize hormones related to PCOS, the best thing is to have a healthy diet, that is low glycemic, and once your hormones get better at a normal level, your mood will get better too...
Also, one more thing my naturapath told me is that Wellbutrin works with dopamines, instead of Serotonin like other SSRI's do... so after a while being on Wellbutrin, it changes the chemical balance in the neurotransmitters and it may not be as effective after a certain point. So I'm hoping to get off of it when I can, and start taking amino acids, which also apparently works with the dopamine levels...
I'm not a health expert, or anything related, it is just that I've been battling with this pcos for a long time, and the western medicine's offerings have not helped me, except to make me worse-emotionally. I'm just kind of summarizing what my naturapath told me... everybody's body type, needs and reactions are different, so what's helpful to me, may not be helpful to you, but if you are interested, message me and i can give you more details on the supplements that I'm taking for pcos.
I hope you get better soon!



QUOTE(p_176 @ Mar 16 2009, 04:19 PM) *
i've read that the itchiness is a minor side effect of wellbutrin.

I cannot wait to start taking it. I've been diagnosed with PCOS, which is a hormone disorder that can cause diabetes, depression, lack of periods etc. I am very frustrated with feeling bad or angry or crying all the time. I am excited to have some changes pending in my life.

I am trying to not be hopeful that Wellbutrin will help me lose some weight - because then it won't. But, if I can take the Wellbutrin, get my moods stabilized, maybe i can have more energy so i can exercise more regularly. If the Wellbutrin helps me lose weight, great, because then combined with actual exercise etc, I can lose some weight to get my blood sugars down, which will help regulate the hormones, so I won't have all the effects like high blood sugar and depression.

I've definitely read that you can't have alcohol with Wellbutrin. I've been phasing out drinking anyway - so my tolerance is basically shot - I'm back to the one drink and I'm buzzed levels! yay! and, lack of alcohol helps you lose weight too.

Olivarria - I've read that with PCOS, the hormones affect how you sleep - be careful of 'developing' chronic fatigue syndrome, or otherwise messing up your sleep schedule. lack of sleep can lead to soreness? if you can, take a sleeping pill to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, then find a way to push through it to get some exercise, which will help your moods. good luck!

p_176
yay - i'm picking up my wellbutrin tonight. should i take it in teh morning or at night? my dr is giving me a 30-day supply of the 150 dose, not the 300 dose. i'll talk with my counselor later this week about if i should slowly increase the dose to 300. has anyone taken just the 150 dose, or is it best to have 300 dose?
zoya
I take the 150 dose. anything above that and I had itchy reactions to it. the 150 works fine for me. I still feel feelings, but the edge is noticeably off and no knot in the pit of my stomach all the time.

take it in the morning. if you take it in the afternoon you might have a hard time sleeping. it can make you a little 'speedy.' (not like speed per se, but it can keep you awake) I usually take mine mid-morning. It's sustained release so you'll be ok for the whole day.

as for what is "best," that just depends on the individual. You may find that they'll have to play around with the dosage to get it right (or it may be fine right away) there are also 100 dose that you can take twice a day, so there are varying dosages. Just keep track of how you feel and when you have your follow up appointments let them know.
lananans
I drank last night - now I am in a really bad place mentally. I know I shouldn't drink, but sometimes I can't help it, and now I feel like there's something wrong with me. I just want to curl up in a ball and die.
lananans
I'm feeling better today - I realize that people make mistakes and I just have to stop dwelling on them. That's my main problem - dwelling. I don't let the past be the past, even though there's nothing I can do to change it. But I'm trying to just stay positive now.
sassygrrl
Glad you're feeling better lananans.

Been a bad couple of weeks. I don't have a job, and I'm upset about it of course. Mcgeek always tells me that we're fine, but I'm just trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. I thought I would have figured out something by now... I thought having the internship would help my self esteem, but it hasn't helped much. I keep thinking of grant writing as a career, but you need experience.

I still really want to go graduate school, but don't know what to study.

Fuck. Just really down in the dumps.


lananans
((sassy)) - are there any graduate programs that are more related to what you're interested in?? I almost didn't apply for my MA in journalism, because I had convinced myself that I wouldn't be accepted - but I was... maybe just apply and see how it goes? Maybe that's not the best advice, considering it costs to apply... but I dunno... These things have a way of working themselves out.
p_176
sassy - good luck on your graduate school decisions. is there anywhere you can volunteer until you get a more permanent job or go to grad school, so you get more experience grant writing? idealist.org might be helpful.

i'm having so much fun with my wellbutrin. i'm taking 150mg, extended release. it causes, among other things, hives, headaches and sleep disorder. i have those three things every day anyway, so i'm having a hard time deciding if the medicine is beneficial.
p_176
how is everyone doing today?
sassygrrl
I'm okay. I'm still trying to apply for jobs, and I'm interning at a non-profit(and have been for a few months). I'm still pretty sad, and the crappy weather isn't helping my mood. It's been raining all week.

I've been researching graduate programs out west.

How is everyone else doing?
lananans
Hi p and sassy!

It's raining here today too sassy -- pretty miserable day. Already today I woke up, burned my toast (in the oven because our toaster broke a couple weeks ago and I'm too poor to get a new one yet) and then as the BF was getting ready to leave for school he couldn't find his other boot (his fancy Blundstone ones that his dad bought him). He got all grumpy and proclaimed "Nothing is ever in the same place in this apartment!" I got pretty upset --- HOWEVER -- the good news is that while I was upset because I thought I had misplaced the offending boot, I was not overwhelmed by it. It was something I can deal with. It means I'm leaps and bounds better than I was earlier in the week.

Kind of long story to say I'm feeling pretty good, but I am!

Maybe if it's still raining there curl up on the couch with a happy movie and hibernate? Don't think of it as trapping you inside, but as an excuse to be lazy?? That's what i do when it's yucky out.

p -- I haven't taken wellbutrin, i'm on celexa and luckily haven't had any side effects in the last few years -- I hope you work it all out. Maybe there's something else you could take instead?

I re-read This Post by Dooce yesterday. I sent it to my Mom, who also suffers from depression, as well. I thought maybe people here might be interested.

olivarria
Hi everyone! I hope you're all doing alright.....or more than alright!

I just need to vent for a moment if that's OK. I am seriously burned out from school, especially from my internship, my finances, and one particularly difficult professor is making my life hell. I don't feel like stepping foot on my campus whatsoever. I feel like I am a fool to even set such high goals for myself (entry to grad program, good grades, general happiness, being able to "do it all') because I know I have special limitations which means I have to take it slower than I want to (PCOS, hypothyroid, depression, chronic fatigue/possible fibromyalgia). I feel angry about this because I am a perfectionist/Type A person and feel like I must be able to do everything or somehow I have failed. When doctors tell me I have to stop taking on so many things and reduce my stress it makes me feel that I can't live my life as fully as other people because then I get sick from so much activity and stress. But if I am not taking these things on I feel like I am missing out on life and it doesn't seem fair that I can't do everything i want to do. It's like a Catch 22 situation here.

I am panicking all the time, especially from being overwhelmed, and from so many loud noises coming from the city, like loud music, traffic, constant sirens, racing cars with no mufflers. I really feel like the noise is causing me to go insane, and I can't deal with it. I can't explain it, but loud noises give me serious panic attacks, they terrify me to no end. I have a therapist but I'm looking for a depression and maybe chronic fatigue support group.....I hope this will help. I don't like discussing the chronic fatigue thing too much because I'm afraid people will think I'm lazy, when all i want to do is stop feeling this pain and fatigue and be active, so i can participate in my life! it would be nice to meet some other people who understand.

Right now i feel hopeless and like reaching my goals is totally unrealistic. I don't even want to get out of bed! I hope tomorrow is better....

(((BUSTees)))
lananans
(((olivarria))) -- I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed. Maybe make a timeline/gameplan that involves achieving all of your goals, but over a more extended period of time? Then you would be able to say to yourself, look, I AM achieving my goals, I CAN handle it all. That way you don't feel like you're missing out on anything...

Definitely look to see if there's a support group in your area, that could be really encouraging. Otherwise, you always can come here and talk to us!

As for myself, I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow to get my prescription refilled -- because it's a clinic and I haven't found a family doctor in this town yet, he only gives me enough for two months and I go back. I recently switched from 40mg Celexa to 20mg and I don't think it's doing it. I'll tell him, but I feel weird about asking to be prescribed more...


((busties))
olivarria
QUOTE
I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed. Maybe make a timeline/gameplan that involves achieving all of your goals, but over a more extended period of time? Then you would be able to say to yourself, look, I AM achieving my goals, I CAN handle it all. That way you don't feel like you're missing out on anything...


I think I am going to take one semester off between graduation and beginning grad school. I'm not sure if I will regret it or not, but it does give me time to move and find a job without having to start grad school at the same time. If I start in August, I'll have to move to another city, find a new job, and start grad school all within two weeks. I'm not sure if it's realistic. I am very close to graduation, which I never though would happen in the first place, so I guess that's something.

Thank you for the encouragement! After finals are over I will look into joining a support group - right now there is no room in my schedule. I am on 40 mg. Prozac and 350 mg. Wellbutrin. But the problem isn't related to my meds, it's just my stress level. I'm working on balancing my commitments, and trying to work on taking time for myself regularly, instead of waiting until I'm burned out. I'm also working on eating healthier and taking lots of vitamins. I am feeling better this week.

Lananans: I hope you are doing well!
sassygrrl
Olivarria, it sounds like a good plan.

Shit. Bad week. I got into my eating disorder habits this week, and even thought about suicide. My boyfriend's dog is going to need surgery that may cost in the thousands, I still don't have a job, and have just fallen into a bad depression. I've also been getting horrible migraines.

My internship got canceled too.

Mcgeek is trying to get me out more and be social, but I'm feeling like such an utter failure right now. I feel like I have no focus right now. I mean these are his old high school friends, and they're going to ask them what I do. "I'm unemployed..."

Ugh. Sorry to be so mememe.

(((busties))
snow white
eghh, i'm actually glad no one has posted yet. i love the edit button! i just don't want to re-read my former post...too whiney. but, as was mentioned in someone else's post, i really need to make a timeline. i was on a budget but i was in the hospital for alittle while and now i'm trying to get back on track. it's overwhelming.

everyone's posts echo really mine in worries about money, school (i'm wondering how i'll get *back* to school), and eating habits. i know ppl's eating habits change when they feel depressed, and my appitite completely disappears. it's strange way to keep the outside world out if i'm not eating it. as for school, right now i'm a nurse (LPN) and i don't think i'm cut out for it at all. i'm thinking of going back to school for massage therapy but when i'm groups of strangers i'm practically paralized with anxiety, i don't know how i got this far really. and massage therapy is very "hands on" (obviously), which is fine when i'm one on one with a person, but having to learn and demonstrate what i know in front of ppl it terrifying. i'm really apprehensive of going back to school but i don't like what i'm doing now...

sassygirl, do take anything for your migrains? i take Relpax and it really really helps.
missladyj
I have been hesitant to post here but am going to because I need some advice and I know busties to be a brilliant and helpful bunch. So here goes.

I have a family member who is struggling with depression and is on medication and as far as I know in therapy. I am trying to reach out and be as supportive as I can. I am struggling with what to do to help, what to say etc. This family member and I have never been close . They are trying to build a relationship with me where there hasn't been one before. I shared the dooce post that lananans gave the link to and am hoping that we can talk about that as this family member doesn't really share details with me. when I ask how things are I get " Okay" or "good" and nothing else.


Any insight or suggestions as to how I should deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
snow white
missladyj, just being a friend is something. when things aren't going right, i think one of the worst things to do is to kind of badger someone about their problems, like they don't already live that shit 24/7, now they have to explain themself?

what i'm trying to say is, just being cool and treating them "normal" is something. talk to them, get to know them, maybe invite them out for luch or shopping or yard saleing or whatever. it doesn't have to be (and probably shouldn't be) about them having troubles. just having a friend in the family who isn't judgemental is alot. my mom went through a really hard time with depression, and i know from watching her deal with it it can be ailenating and shamful, esspecially when you feel like you're somehow letting your family down. not to say our family treated her badly, or that your family is treating your relative badly, just that it's hard. ppl will open up about their lives when they're ready and i'm sure your relative will be happier just to have someone they can trust in their life, esspecially since you are family. hopefully you can become a positive in their life, just be cool i guess, the last thing you want is to seem like your reaching out due to pity instead of actually wanting to befriend. you know?

ah, i hope i made some sense!! i wish u the best of luck.
missladyj
thanks snow white! I really appreciate the response .
lananans
missladyj -- I think that as long as they know that you're there for them, you're doing something right. Just try not to push it, and snow_white's advice is really good too. Having someone treat them normally when they're probably surrounded by people trying to help them is maybe one of the best things you can do. And if they want to talk, they will.

I just switched from 20mg to 40mg of my medication again. I had gone down, but realized it wasn't a good idea.

((busties))

lilacwine13
I'm delurking to agree with what snow white and lananans says. Sometimes just being there for someone is great.


*relurks*

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