Apr 20 2007, 11:21 AM
so, now my roomate won't talk to me. at all. he won't even look at me.
he has come home really late thw past two nights drunk as shit.
i don't know how to fix this! i just feel so sad about the way he is acting.
Apr 20 2007, 12:21 PM
how immature can he get? that is said jay boogie but honestly what is he 15?
Apr 20 2007, 12:47 PM
not immature...more like emotionally retarded i think
i understand...TO A DEGREE...why he is the way he is...
but his being freaked out and not talking to me/avoiding me just hurts and is frusterating the hell out of me.
believe you me...i'm not trying to make excuses for the way he is acting towards me. i want to grab him by the shoulders
and shake the hell out of him!
Apr 20 2007, 01:58 PM
gross. that sucks.
I know those situations are uncomfortable, and I used to kinda feel like most guys would just react that way - until I had sort of a similar situation happen earlier this year. The next day, the guy that it happened with found me, walked right up to me and started having a conversation with me. Then after a few hellos and things, he said "things kind of got out of hand last night." and that led into us talking about it. After a few more conversations, we totally worked it out, and it actually made us closer friends. He was a pretty new friend at the time, but that situation told me more about him than knowing him for years on a surface level could - and I have nothing but the hugest amount of respect for him - and he for me. It really taught me that the whole not dealing with things is a total cop out and that there are men out there that are not afraid to be the *real* deal. It also taught me that if I respect that in someone, then I should also do that, because I think that we do attract what we are - and if I'm willing to put it out there, walk right up and be straight up about situations, then I'm going to start attracting people who are like that into my life. Hell, if I'm attracting them already, I figure I must be (or getting to be) in the same place.
so my point...?
1) your roommate is being a dork and obviously is not at a place where he knows how to step up and be that guy. I dont' think you can really force him into it. it's just something people either do or don't do.
2) why don't you take the initiative to open a dialogue. It could be something as simple as my friend said to me "wow, things got out of hand the other night" and see where it goes. if he's totally shut down, then there is your answer - but remember, it's not you. it's just his inability to deal with it. and that will give you some pretty good insight into his psyche. If he wants to talk, then cool. Either way, just be open to whatever and remember it's not you if he is weird. it's him.
just my .02 cents...
Apr 20 2007, 02:56 PM
i tried to talk to him the night after it happened. i am not great at expressing my feelings either, so it didn't really happen. we just hung out and talked about other stuff.
last night there was a note on the table waiting for him when he got home, i thought that it would be easier for me to actually say everything that i wanted to, and be less confrontational for him as well. i left it there and went to a friends house for a while. he saw me outside smoking when he got home, and wouldn't come out of his van until i went inside...which was 45 minutes later!!!
he came in and i said hey...he said hey...went straight to his room..and that was it. he won't even look at me.
i know i can't force him to talk to me...i just feel sick. he is such a good friend and now i am afraid its all in the shitter.
Apr 20 2007, 03:06 PM
well, you can't do anything to change him, it sounds like you've done all you can. dont' beat yourself up about it, I mean you can regret it, but there is nothing you can do to change what happened, so I'd say just try everything you can to personally move on and move forward. It sucks that he is being so weird, but you'll drive yourself crazy if you don't, which will just be counterproductive to your well being....
Apr 22 2007, 05:37 PM
So, I had a friend who, about a year ago, took home my date from a function we were all at. She spent three days in bed with him, ignoring my clueless calls, and then had the balls to tell me that I was being ridiculous for being upset because I hadn't slept with the guy yet. I barely knew him! I guess that didn't matter, because she didn't know him at all before that night and she slept with him even though she had her own date. Anyway, after her trying to tell me that she was really into him, and that I had no right to get in their way (btw - couldn't have cared less about him, he lived 3000 miles away and was about to become a merchant marine) I said fine, do your thing, and don't call me again.
This winter she called, wanted to hang out, I figured that I would give her another chance. We made plans, I called right on time, twice, and she didn't call back until more than 24 hours later with some bogus excuse about losing her phone. Bullshit. She was trying to be in control again, and I wasn't having it.
Anyway, I ran in to her today. She, of course, asked about my love life, to which I honestly responded I am so sick of that I have given up. She responded that she knows how that is. I said, "but you are always with someone," which was bitchy, but this is the woman who tried to set me up with men so she would have an excuse to take home their friends, and stole my date! She has also moved in with, at least, 5 or 6 men in her life. One of which I helped her move out when he didn't come back after his umpteenth cocaine-and-gambling binge. She lamented that she went through a phase like this. She was single for at least a month, maybe a month and a half! Oh Lord have mercy! A month! Luckily, she added, she is seeing someone now, but it's new, you know.
I really don't get it. Really.
She listed her house and is moving out of town so as not to commute so far. Good riddance.
I know, I know. I wouldn't care about all the ex-boyfriends and ex-friends coming out of the woodwork to rain on my single parade so much if I had a life of my own, but I don't. I am single. And other than a few false hopes over the last, oh, THREE FUCKING YEARS, all I have experienced is fat balding men at the gym farting beside me, and internet mashups with useless fucks who neither turn me on nor turn into princes when kissed upon their froggy pates.
Don't even get me started about what happened three fucking years ago, or the fact that the only man I have ever lived with is getting married next weekend...
Apr 23 2007, 08:07 AM
there's always a silver lining.... remember the bullshit he's dumping one someone else besides you now. and how your life is decidedly bullshit-free !
my ex moved in his girlfriend to my old apt recently, after dating her for only a few months. first i was pissed and then i recalled all the reasons why i moved the hell out of that apt and his life. it's all hers now!
i know it's hard not to envy everyone who easily couples when you're unhappily uncoupled, but think about the losers your "friend" is probably dating and will be dating when you meet and start dating a non-loser. you could be moving in and out with losers too, but you're not wasting your time. that's nothing to be jealous about.
Apr 23 2007, 05:23 PM
sam, i agree with nick. why waste your time with mediocre men? seriously. i've been going through the same dilemma of wondering why other people easily couple than me. but, i don't want to date or be in a relationship just to avoid being alone. i like my me time just fine thank you. i'm too old and too young to just settle. and i won't.
i also had a thing with exes (friends and lovers) coming out of the woodworks. but, i took it as a clue that i needed to make changes for myself. that maybe i need to change my approach to things. so, i'm trying. my one ex though has made some awesome changes and we are very good friends. i guess just to expect anything and you will get alot in return.
ETA: i mean to say don't expect anything...
Apr 23 2007, 06:04 PM
I know I sound bitter and unhappy, but this is really the one part of my life which is this way. Everything else seems pretty good right now. i am not sure about staying here in Reno, but a lot of that is because I am lonely here. I guess I have this false hope that if I moved to the Bay there would be a circle of really cool, really welcoming friends jsut waiting for me. The reality is that I am who I am, and friends have never come that easily to me. That's why I am so single, and why one girlfriend doing one bad thing affects me so much. Once I let someone in, they are in. I count on it. It's hard to watch ex'es be that way with someone else, and then have to hear about how wonderful it is.
You are all right about the losers. She does date losers. She is an insanely jealous woman who has admitted that when there are men around, she has to feel like they want her and no one else, so she will get in the way of them being with anyone, even a friend. Our friendship started when she had a live-in boyfriend (the coke-head gambler,) and started to disintegrate as soon as she was single again. A pattern I don't want to do again, so I don't call her.
Apr 24 2007, 03:44 PM
usually i'm totally fine with being single. today i'm not. i'm blaming it on the weather. it's beautiful outside & it would be great for sharing with a boy.
anyway, some how thinking about this made me wonder what kind of guy would want to be with me. I'm in my mid 20's, and a college grad, but i have absolutly no direction in life, have no idea where i want to be and what i want to be doing. I have a really crappy job (infact, the same kind of crappy job i had when i was in highschool). I manage to support myself, but don't seem to be doing well at getting called for job interviews of any kind.
honestly, if i heard the same things about a guy, i'd run like hell in the opposite direction. It's possible that a reall open-minded guy would be interested in me. But i'm afraid of attracting loosers or guys with complexes (who want to feel like the successful one in the relationship.)
i'm sure my attitude will deter most of the loosers... but uhh... i can't help but feel like maybe i should devote more time into soul searching & career hunting than boyfriend shopping until i actually find some direction in life.
anybody been through something similar? any ideas?
Apr 24 2007, 09:29 PM
mumblestutter: first of all, dont be so hard on yourself. look at what you have accomplished, try to focus on the things that boost your self esteem. attracting a man has more to do with WHO you are, than what you are. what type of man do you want? most men could care less how much money you have, what job you hold, or even what labels or fads you wear. truth is, men like women who look nice and can take care of themselves, but they also dig a whole lot more about us than we give them credit for.
what defines a 'loser' to you, either in yourself or in someone else (rhetorical question). perhaps you could be a little less harsh and judgmental and then in turn find a man who is also more accepting and open minded.
ps. if what you're looking for is more direction in your life, dealing with men will only be a distraction. do what you think is best for you.
Apr 29 2007, 05:06 PM
I had a dream last night that two boys were crushing on me, and I was more flirty and sensual with one of them. It felt so sweet and nice.
The Busties made me feel better with the phrase "executive cock" and telling me that I'm smart for holding out for it. Sometimes it feels like I won't meet anybody who is really quality, or who I'm really sexually into. I watch porn on Pornotube and it's so mechanical and cold, yet it makes me feel better not to hold the dick on the altar and fret about sex. I wish I could get more turned-on, or have sex anytime, but I physically and mentally can't. My life is busy with various things, and looking for sex with random guys or blind dates feels like a waste of time. So I watch porn, and masturbate as a release.
May 6 2007, 09:03 AM
As I sit here alone with my morning coffee...
I wish I had someone I could make breakfast in bed. I wish I had someone who I could stir from sleep by gently kissing her toes and working my way up. I wish I had someone who would crack open a drowsy eye, smile, and with a sleepy thick voice say, “morning sweetie”.
May 6 2007, 09:13 AM
maelstrom - your post made me realize something. Very few of us and maybe none of us have written "What I really want is someone to make me breakfast in bed." But I think several of us have thought "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to do things nice for?" Well, I admit that after my long Monday work shifts I have thought that it would be nice to have someone give me a foot massage, but there would be reciprocation.
I just think that the honest desire to share and give and not just take is something that makes all of us in this thread frustrated singles. Far to many people are willing to take and too many people give to those people and are taken advantage of. Those of us who actually and honeslty want to share
are not willing to compromise for anything less. Hmm.
Does this make sense? I have been thinking about the concept of giving a lot sense I read this news commentary about giving up your seat on the bus to a pregnant woman. Too many people responded "Why should I give up my seat? It's not my fault she's pregnant." As if the only reason you would go out of your way to help someone is because you were the reason said person needed help.
May 6 2007, 10:01 AM
QUOTE(kittenb @ May 6 2007, 11:30 AM)
I read this news commentary about giving up your seat on the bus to a pregnant woman. Too many people responded "Why should I give up my seat? It's not my fault she's pregnant." As if the only reason you would go out of your way to help someone is because you were the reason said person needed help.
That's just so sad. What's wrong with these people?
May 6 2007, 10:19 AM
Far to many people are willing to take and too many people give to those people and are taken advantage of. Those of us who actually and honeslty want to share are not willing to compromise for anything less. Hmm.
That is definetly true. I am interested in physical affection, but I don't get attracted to many guys and can get tense about someone I'm not 100% attracted to stroking me or kissing me, it can feel like a violation or not warm or lovely at all.
My friend said, "Think about it. A lot of men probably aren't good enough for you, instead of you thinking there's something wrong because you don't get attracted to many of them."
May 6 2007, 11:39 AM
. Recently I finally got the guy that I have been wanting for about four years... Then got tired of him and broke up with him after four months. I do follow almost the same pattern with every relationship or almost relationship I'm in. I'll flirt forever, and then he'll show interest, and I'll immediately get bored with him and go onto someone else. There's someone right now that I've been talking to for a few weeks, and he's shown interest and I'm yet to get bored, so hopefully something will be different this time. Anyone have any tips or advice on how to stop this cycle? It's quickly becoming old hat.
My quote of the day "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something different to happen."
May 6 2007, 10:07 PM
lustfully: i have had the same problem.. but really i think it's just that there really are a lot of boring dudes out there. figure out what you like, and then only date guys who fulfill your requirements. and then... when you are dating them continue looking for new and exciting things about their lives. continue to learn with and about them. dont worry so much about stuff and just let it happen. there is no such thing as the perfect man, only because perfection is an illusion. but if you can find a guy who appreciates you and who you want to spend time with, that's as close to perfection as i can think of.
May 15 2007, 08:15 PM
I went onto OKCupid to check out the dating scene there. I wrote a few emails to some guys, saying what I liked in their profiles and a little about myself. Sometimes I feel like I should date more, be more open, and other times guys bore me or I feel like they're too dull and wouldn't know what to do with me. It's bitchy and snotty, but I get along better talking casually spontaneously and naturally than doing a planned date. Like talking to my male co-worker about various stuff and getting along or talking to a movie theater employee about Safe Men
. With questions back and forth and coming up with a meeting time, it feels stilted to me. But I do it once in a while, so I don't bitch to myself about feeling lonely or wanting some quality dick.
May 15 2007, 09:58 PM
"Quality dick" I need to write that down. "Quality dick, no fillers" Meh heh.
May 17 2007, 07:51 PM
I IMed with a French guy on OKCupid who kept letting me know that he would only here until June and was just looking for sex, not to fall in love. He was pasty-looking and looked like a nerd, so I told him I wasn't going to fall in love with him. He got offended and kept asking me why, what was wrong with him. He also wrote in that similar way, which could be forgivable since English wasn't his first language, but he still came off as a dork.
OKCupid is fine, but there's a lot of dorky guys on there. JDate and Nerve make you pay to communicate, so I do the free dating sites, which are less discriminating and have a lot of dorky guys on there.
I tend to become more attracted to men who are out of my league, like men in their forties and fifties who may be my professors or my friends' dads. Guys my age still seem immature and dull. I don't really like dating websites, but when I go out amongst people my age I don't find any guys attractive enough or interesting enough to flirt with, and I'd like that kind of spontaneity again.
May 17 2007, 08:52 PM
lustfullypink - "Quality Dick" is otherwise known around these parts as "Executive Cock."
...and now back to your regularly scheduled penis.
May 18 2007, 08:27 AM
I had two guys ask for my number in the last month, which was nice, but I'm not at all attracted to either of them, which is frusturating. It'd be real nice if someone crawled out of the wood work who I could actually visualize myself dating.
May 20 2007, 12:24 PM
I talked to this guy online, and I should've have cut him off when he said he was going to see Shrek 3. He's 35 years old, with no kids, and I can imagine he wasn't going to be seeing it with any kids. That's just too old to be going to a kids' movies.
He told me he looked like a Calvin Klein model, but when I saw his picture I thought he looked dull. He had the "model" look, but lacked any charisma or unique hotness.
Sometimes I consider meeting these guys for sex, but I get bored or feel like it's a hassle to plan out the meetup and have to touch someone I don't know and not feeling any real passion or physical attraction.
May 21 2007, 01:13 PM
Yeah, I'm like that, too, anna. I need to feel a little fire inside before I start fooling around. The fun part is anticipating sex (or making out) with someone who you really like--wondering where or when it could happen.
ETA-"Quality dick, no fillers" Hahahahaha!!!!!
May 22 2007, 05:39 PM
I need to feel a little fire inside before I start fooling around. The fun part is anticipating sex (or making out) with someone who you really like
May 22 2007, 08:21 PM
QUOTE(erinjane @ May 18 2007, 10:44 AM)
It'd be real nice if someone crawled out of the wood work who I could actually visualize myself dating.
I feel your pain! I really want to be interested in the people that come my way, but they are just not interesting!
May 23 2007, 07:06 AM
I have met guys.. and for a hot second, I may be interested... then it's done. Or they would only good for a one-nighter. I just think I'm meeting only the guys who live for the social rocker drinker life....not that that is bad necessarily if you are self-sufficient and not a dick... but I'm saying I end up meeting these guys with peter pan syndrome. Or the timing was off with the guys I was interested in. Getting some booty doesn't cut it anymore, my vibe can do better than these drips. I would try to branch out but I wanna hear some rock-n-roll!
So frustrating. Where's the geeky hot grounded guy with a stable job and a decent record collection but NOT a career musician and not a freaking Toys-R-Us kid?
I'm really in NO hurry to date considering my dilemma with the ex and me needing to do some soul-soothing and strengthening, but it would nice to know if that kinda guy was out there for poop's sake!!
May 23 2007, 07:25 AM
ha ha, toys-r-us kid! i met a few o' those! but i was always on the search for the punk rocker/writer with a job. now i found a teacher with a good job who likes to go to punk rock shows and read poetry, and life is peachy. my point is better made by the constant dater
May 23 2007, 08:15 AM
Ahhhh... to land a guy like that would be so dreamy! In fact, I want to be a secondary english teacher, writer, and supporter of the punky music scene. So I would be so down with a guy like that. A bit of balance! I plan to move to a city that enables me to meet more people in that realm or around that realm, even girls that I can relate to when it comes to scholarly/academic pursuits, while obtaining my degree so maybe one day.....
You are so lucky. Brings me hope, nick. I'll look that book up! Thanks!
QUOTE(nickclick @ May 23 2007, 09:42 AM)
ha ha, toys-r-us kid! i met a few o' those! but i was always on the search for the punk rocker/writer with a job. now i found a teacher with a good job who likes to go to punk rock shows and read poetry, and life is peachy. my point is better made by the constant dater
May 25 2007, 01:19 PM
May 26 2007, 05:43 AM
Younger guys are generally more immature...at least around my age.
May 26 2007, 10:25 AM
why do great guys never seem to like me? I seem to be swarming with creeps (more than anyone I know!), but the guys I like never seem to like me back! I talked to my guy friend the other day to ask why, and he says that guys like mysterious girls, and that I'm just all out there. I'm one of those people that makes people feel comfortable the minute they are around me because I leave my guard down and act like a goof.
when i tell people that i have never had a boyfriend (i'm almost 22!) people are shocked! i'm nice, smart and attractive, but i can never seem to get the guys i like (and it's not like i'm after unreachable guys either)!
May 26 2007, 03:15 PM
hello busties... this is my first post (blush!) after lurking for quite some time.
perhaps I should be posting this in the sex thread... but it's more of a social issue.
I was in a few relationships when I was younger but have been single for quite some time, almost two years, mostly by choice/emotional necessity. I have plenty of sexual experience, but only with two serious partners and i was young so we built up to it slowly.
my problem now is I am single and ready to mingle (haha) and i want nothing more than a good fuck or ten... but no serious relationships, please! BUT i have NO IDEA how to go about this casual sex thing. oh, i could do the sex part fine, but how do I meet someone and subtly get across that I want to f*ck their brains out in the bathroom? I am terrified by this part!
I have always been the "buddy" girl and am not naturally sexual-seeming, so i am pretty sure i am gonna have to be the initiator unless I start being attracted to slimeballs. I don't do the arm-caressing coquette game (maybe a butt-grope here and there, but only on friends). how can i get over this "hump," so to speak, and into the humping?
I have never been one for this sort of thing before, but right now i think it's healthy for me to want it.
ps fantaz, we may have similar problems... i am just too much of a buddy. hell if i know how to fix it!
May 26 2007, 04:29 PM
oh nickclick, thank you for that link. thank you so much.
May 26 2007, 08:41 PM
[quote name='fantaz' date='May 26 2007, 12:42 PM' post='154856']
why do great guys never seem to like me? I seem to be swarming with creeps (more than anyone I know!), but the guys I like never seem to like me back!
Is this a situation where the guys you like know that you like them, and are not responsive,
or the problem of them not registering that you're interested in them?
May 27 2007, 05:28 PM
I managed this by, when I was 18, asking hot guys to "walk me home" from the bar. Then we'd walk through the parking lot of the elementary school linking arms (i was drunk) and make out on the playground. Never had sex with any of them but it was a lot of fun. Basically, get them on their own. lol.
So, aim for a makeout. Put condoms in your purse. Have fun.
May 29 2007, 02:03 PM
Sometimes the guys know that I like them, but they end up liking my friends instead!
Also, I do not tend to like that many guys, so that doesn't help!
Jun 2 2007, 04:30 PM
Wow, so glad I found this thread! I went out with a guy last night and had a really good time, but I don't want a relationship with him. I have this idea that maybe I'm being too picky, but how do I know what is too picky and what is just having standards?
Example: I used to go for skinny blue-eyed blonds before falling head-over-heels for a pudgy Latino (who wanted to marry a South American girl...not a gringa like me...sigh). Result: I don't have a physical type anymore--I like 'em all.
But I do want someone I admire, not just someone I respect. I want someone I want to be more like and someone who has the same qualities that I like best about myself (or at least some of them).
My female friends and relatives are pretty clueless about dating, so I'm pretty confused!
Little Lulu---I often get into this situation by accident! I think it's because I act playful and sexual from the beginning of the first conversation and often don't really bother getting to know the person. I've learned that, if I want to have a real relationship, I should be less physical and connect in other ways...maybe you need to do the opposite!
Good luck! Tell us how it goes!
Jun 4 2007, 12:52 PM
There used to be a lot of slimeball, creepy guys who liked me as well, Until I learned the quote "If you want to hunt ducks, you must go where the ducks are." I was like "OH!!!" If I want to meet a good guy, I shouldn't be hanging around where the gross ones tend to hang around! (That may not apply to everyone, it's just my personal expierence)
Jun 6 2007, 08:37 AM
Pink--I think the reason why the kind of guy I would be willing to date, the kind of guy that is either deserving of what I have to offer or is in non-drama situation, is not around now is because I truly need this time to be single and be at peace with that.
I hear ya about "hunting ducks". It's just a wee bit frustrating for me because those ducks don't seem to be around these parts. I have plans to re-locate once I get accepted to a master's program. An academic, scholarly kind of guy would be up my alley, I think. I feel like if I just got out of here and into a more promising, populated, diverse environment... I may find someone to date that fulfills my criteria.... which is becoming more rigid by choice. It needs to be rigid.
I just feel like this is some sort of fate thing, or past life lesson I'm learning right now. whatever.
I'm trying to embrace my singleness. I'm sorta talking to this guy that's not final on his divorce... but I don't want more than just talking because of that. If the only dewds that seem to be coming around are either douches, ex's, or drama, then I really need to take a step back from all of it. Focusing on my goals, happiness, what I want, etc. And I know that... and it has been hard to do that because I was ALWAYS in a relationship.
And It annoys when people mention marriage and grandchildren and how I'll find that great guy one day.... ugh. It's like a Catch22.
Jun 6 2007, 11:00 AM
I'm with you on focusing on goals opposed to focusing on meeting someone.
I figure I'll eventually meet someone while achieving my goals, besides I'll be a happier, better person once someone special comes along.
Jun 7 2007, 07:15 AM
I have never had a problem being single. As a matter of fact I kinda like it. I have never been one of those girls who are jealous when their friends are couple up or when I hear of an ex with someone new.
I am moving in Speptember and I have this irrational feeling that once I move I am going to be single forever. Thats crazy right? I mean I live in a small state now and you would think that if i was going to be single forever it would happen here because everyone knows everyone and you are so likely to be dating your exes second cousin twice removed or something like that.
I go back and forth. Some days I really couldn't care less about being single and other days I have a little issue with it.
Muffy and Moonpieluv, I feel the same. i want to focus on goals and be established and then be concerned with meeting someone after or maybe during the process of achieving those goals.
Sorry for the weird mini-rant. lol
Jun 7 2007, 04:03 PM
I go back and forth too. Lately though, more frustration. I mean, I like that I can come home and relax and feel no pressure to go out if I don't want to, but I really miss just having someone. I miss the new relationship feeling and the anticipations and all that good stuff.
Jun 8 2007, 01:40 PM
I hate it that I want/need sex. It really complicates me trying to do the alone thing... I mean I know just because I'm single doesn't mean I must deprive myself of some hot lovin' but that's just it....
I hate it cause that's what I can count on right now... just sex. It's a love hate thing. I'm physicologically craving it, but emotionally wanting to suppress it cause well.......... my ex sniffs around. such a loser, too.... but good in bed and in my present situation, that is wanting to focus on my goals, keeping on track with myself, acting on what I want instead of being all talk.... I DON't want another relationship, but I don't want a fuck-buddy either.
uh... I know this is convoluted and confusing, but like I said before... I don't want someone if they don't fit the bill. I want the sex, but not the dude. masturbation works but.... there's also this other part of sleeping next to someone that I like. I just feel like dudes just want to get a piece. Ah the power of sexuality and the vay jay jay.
Seriously need to find some single peace... derrr.....or accept the booty as a form of stress release from time to time and continue forward. I know it's happening in my mind and heart, but I'm still not getting enough accomplished. derrr, too hard on myself and likey the bloody mary too much.
boy crazed and hated it. I need my mind prioritized rigidly right now.
((Bettie)) good for you for being so cool with singleness. I wish I was, as well, or at least the okayness would hurry the F up. The only thing I will say about the couple envy is that, if you're single, you don't get invited to things as much. I don't get to see some of my friends as often as I would like because they are Always with their boys.
((Erin)) I know what you mean about having someone... the companionship. But I've learned that while that's entirely human and okay to want after some time and peace with yourself, I fear I want the companionship/the relationship to hurry up and happen. The fear of being alone. urggghh.
But I can sit at home and not feel the need for someone, too.
(Opens a self-help book) tee hee.
Jun 8 2007, 04:56 PM
I wont lie and say that I never want to come home to someone, because i do. Some days I want to come home and relax and talk about my day with someone other than my roomies. I want a warm body in my bed some nights and I dont want that body to be my dog lol.
Fuck buddies can suck so bad sometimes! They are great for a while, but it gets old fast.....or at least that is what i find. I dont want a relationship right now and I dont want a fuck buddy either so i see your problem Moonpieluv.
Jun 9 2007, 02:37 PM
bettieblank, no prob about the mini-rant... there have been days where I too become convinced that I am going to be single forever.
I've actually always had a problem with being single, not that I've always been in a relationship, this is probably a break-through
for me to be somewhat at peace with it.
Moonpieluv, I completely understand the want of sex... its been waaaay too long, I keep telling myself that relationships are more than just sex.. I wish I could tell that to my libido!
Jun 10 2007, 11:32 AM
moonpieluv, you say some very interesting things. but, i don't buy into fantasy thinking anymore. if i can't make it happen where i am at now, then i don't believe that a change of location will make a radical difference in the men i meet. i'm trying to take ownership of what i put out (no pun intended--
) when i meet men. it would be nice to think that i will meet some awesome guy when i relocate myself, but i'm not getting my hopes up.
plus, i realize if i want a guy to accept my imperfections, then i need to do the same of him. so, as i get older, i know i'm gonna meet more men who are divorced or have children. there is no perfect situation.
i related to the strong desire for sex with a man. but, that feeling is temporary. maybe because i've been screwed over too many times, but i want a relationship now. sex without strings is just too empty of a feeling for me and short changes me in the long run. i'm not willing to settle just for sex. i want a partner. i'm also not gonna completely avoid men to focus on myself. i've learned from my male friends that nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who takes care of herself...however that is defined for you. i'm trying to finish my degree and take care of my personal health.
but, i do get frustrated because i want a relationship NOW. i need more patience with myself. sometimes, i feel like veruca salt in willie wonka when she sings "i want it now."
Jun 11 2007, 11:15 AM
Stargazer, to clarify my convoluted mess of a post, I don't think that I'll find the man of my "dreams" simply by relocating, but I just feel like my town is a bit limiting... I have other reasons for moving, as well. My town doesn't have a school I want to attend, and I want to live closer to my family.
But with my ex around and trying to adjust to interacting with him in the same town, and my dumb moves with dewds over the past year, where my head is in terms of self-worth and value, I feel like moving would give me anonymity, fresh start with school and independence, and the new-ness.
I was crafting with my lady friends and listened to the gossip...I like my friends, but it would be nice to expand. feel the same about men one day.
I really like this guy who isn't finalized with his divorce... but that's just it... it isn't FINAL. I would feel more comfortable waiting until we don't feel like we have to sneak around. Plus, him having just gotten out of a divorce... I feel like I'd be a rebound..some feisty fun. I'm not feeling okay with that. So, I'm not judging him, I'm being cautious.
and obviously I don't feel okay with just the sex. that's why I hate that I still want it! oh me oh my.