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ginger_kitty
The house next to mine is for rent, I saw some people checking out, and I let my dogs out b/c they had like 5 kids. I was hoping the barking dogs my scare the couple off. Is that bad? I think I would loose my mind if 5 kids moved in next door.

Children can be cruel, but I rarely hold it against them. It's adults, who should know better that bother me.
pollystyrene
As much as the situation on the bus reconfirmed my commitment to birth control, Maybe, kids don't just wake up one day and say stuff like that to their mothers (well, maybe they do, but the mother shouldn't be putting up with that)....reminds me of a story Oprah told about her friend Gayle King, who's pretty strict with her kids, and one day her three-year-old said something mouthy to her and Gayle just looked at her and said, "who do you think you're speaking to?" And the girl looked down and said sheepishly, "my shoe."

I would have turned around and asked the little girl how she could say something so mean to her mom. Not in a hissy way, but in a "don't you think you're hurting your mom's feelings?" sort of way.
culturehandy
I love it when parents keep their kids in line. My parents did. If I was a mouthy as some of these little bastards...CH would not be here in the lounge today.
missladyj
It's story time

So after reading the link that was posted about non surgical sterilization which I seriously considered, hubby and I went to a visitation for his Great Uncle who passed away. Which by the way was at, I shit you not, a funeral home called Slaughter and Sons. Seriously. So we are there talking with his cousins when one says to me. " The family is getting smaller. We need to do something about this". I smile and say " Oh yes, we should do something about that".


We get in the car to head home and my husband asks me why I was smiling at her when she was saying we should have kids. I tell him I thought she meant we should get together for dinner. I didn't even THINK that she was talking about us having kids. And besides, sometimes smiling and nodding is totally fine, especially at a funeral.


Reproduction is so far from my mind that it never occurred to me that that was what she was talking about. Hence the smiling and nodding
turbojenn
Bwahahaha!!! Misslady, that is HI-larious!!!

We're going to MI this weekend for my cousin's baby's christening this weekend (we're the godparents), and I am expecting MANY comments about it being "our turn." I'll let you all know how that one goes. rolleyes.gif
humanist77
I went to an orchestral concert this weekend which my bf's mother was playing in..and there were a ton of babies in the audience...several of them started screaming and crying, and his grandmother whispers loudly to me, "TAKE THOSE DAMN KIDS OUTSIDE." I just laughed and appreciated an older person-who's had a few kids herself-be aware of how rude and disrupting it is..

then the good weather always brings out the nasty, screeching children who live in the building next to bf's, and they are out on the balcony every day, right outside his bedroom window..these kids are SO FUCKING LOUD--it's like they don't know how to talk or something, they only know how to communicate with high-pitched screeching..it's not just an occasional scream, it's every few seconds-no exaggeration. Even he, who isn't bothered much by noisy kids, was like "what is wrong with those kids?"..and they are out there for hours..I'd rather hear car alarms..
culturehandy
Slaughter and Sons, HA! That is so funny.

As for people pressuring you to have kids, go away. Jeez, you want kids so bad, have them yourself!

Who bring children to an orchestra concert???

My Granmother is the one who is recommending that I don't have children. It's great. My parents haven't said anything, but i think deep down they want grandchildren. My cousin has a kid, and there thing was, birth control is expensive. Ummm, and a baby doesn't cost much either???

I haven't had any bad baby experiences lately, as I go to places which are much more adult friendly.
missladyj
the best part of the whole thing was that it never occurred to me that she was talking about having kids, so I never felt pressure.

I just assumed she mean having dinner together or something.



Good Luck Turbo! I'm sure you'll come back with some great stories.
go_kayte
I had a TERRIBLE time at a restaurant recently thanks to one screaming kid and parents pretending to be totally oblivious to it.

It was this great mexican dive, a bar/restaurant. I was there with my friends at 9:30 pm in the smoking section (a totally different room from the nonsmoking section). This family (parents, two older children and screaming baby) sat in the smoking section too, but they weren't smoking. The baby was screaming every other second. I heard them say some hilarious things like "Just give him some more cheese!" It was totally ear piercing and it made the experience terrible. I have no idea why you would sit your family in the smoking section of a restaurant (at 9:30 so there were a bunch of people just there to drink at the bar by that point too, the bar area was filling up with smoke). The kid was probably screaming because of all the smoke!! It made me so frustrated...
culturehandy
It is so inappropriate when parents think it is funny that their child is having a temper tantrum, hissy fit, etc. How is this funny. Fuck, take control of your kid and tell them to stop.

I remember a few weeks ago, I just arrived home and was doing the dishes. There was a woman outside on the stree with this kid, who was screaming yelling and crying laying on the road (we are on a boulevard) and wouldn't move. Of course mom was trying to be nice about, the whole time I was watching and all I could think of was, just fucking walk away from the brat. This went for easily 5 minutes. The windows were shut, and I could hear this child screaming! Finally she walked away. Brat.
ginger_kitty
A new lady at work has eight kids!! 8! The lady is only 35! I can't even freaking imagine. She of course was shocked that I don't want kids. She said she had never heard of that. I kind of laughed at her for saying that.
culturehandy
8 children??? I'd say get a hobby, but clearly you have one.
missladyj
I found this on feministing.com which by the way is fast becoming my new favorite website, and I thought y'all would enjoy especially the comments at the bottom


enjoy your child free day ladies!!1


http://www.guardian.co.uk/gender/story/0,,2075387,00.html
hellotampon
oooh feministing.com is my favorite website too! Although it took me forever to stop typing in .org by mistake and getting that stupid fake one.
humanist77
good to see that article, missladyj!

this weekend, we were at a VERY crowded, indoor, public event. People were pushing and squeezing past each other. All the sudden, two women-one with a baby strapped to her chest, and the other pushing a stroller (not a huge one, but a stroller) come shoving through the crowd, hollering repeatedly at everyone, "Out of the way everybody! I have a baby stroller!" It obviously wasn't an emergency or anything urgent-they were actually pushing their way into the event itself, and using the baby and the stroller as an excuse to get people out of the way. And it was the women behind her who was carrying the baby, the stroller was actually empty. Everyone just stared at her like she was nuts. I holler back to her, "Having a baby and a stroller doesn't give you special rights, lady!" I think she was too oblivious to hear me. Oh, and did I mention it was well after midnight at this point?
doodlebug
Thanks for posting that article, misslady, j! I enjoyed it!

Torn between my favourite lines, though:

"I am a far better, and far happier, person than I was five or 10 years ago; although I may have been more fertile then, I was also more of a fruitcake."

or

"Emily Davison died under a horse for this?"
culturehandy
That was a fantastic article.

I hate the fact that we, as a society, are expected to bend to children. For example, at the off leash park where I take my dog, where the off leash area is clearly marked, they are making this labyrinth and are talking about bringing in bus loads of children. my dog doesn't like children (there is a point to this I swear), if something happens to a kid, it is going to be my fault. This is what I mean. We have to bend for crotch fruit, when is a place for my and my childless friends going to pop up?

If I want such a place, then I'm selfish and those with children make a big stink.

Does anyone remember that episode of The Simpsons where the childfree go against those with children in Springfield?

I also found this on my searches. The list of references is interesting.
faerietails2
*rolls over laughing*

crotch fruit is now officially my favorite term ever!
i_am_jan
I just posted a new thread under OUR BODIES OUR HELLS regarding abortion. After I did it I am now sort of afraid thinking someone is going to find me and blow me up or something. If anyone reads it and feels maybe I shouldn't have posted it or it's not safe, please tell me. ? (I halfway know it's my own paranoia but then again that kind of stuff does happen)
faerietails2
(((jan)))

as far as the loonies go, i don't think you have much to worry about. it's not like you posted your personal info on there. plus, it's a very non-threatening read. i think it's great--and courageous--that you started that thread.
missladyj
I second the love of the term" crotch fruit"


I had friends in college who were card carrying members of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. I shit you not. Live long and die out.

what did I do on this glorious childfree day you might ask: Mani pedi baby, mani pedi
culturehandy
I agree that humans need to die out.

I'm glad you like crotch fruit. I read about that term in the globe and mail.
i_am_jan
Thanks fairietails, I just needed to hear that I guess as a little reassurance, I pretty much knew it was okay but for some reason I felt a little unsafe after I put it out there. (? Wow, just realized how wrong that is that I should feel that way ?).

But maybe if I continue to talk about it, it won't be so dangerous. :



culturehandy
(((jan))) we are always here if you need the support.
i_am_jan
Thank you culture.

I'm hoping others will feel free to share their stories as well on that thread.

On an aside, thanks missladyj for referring the feministing.com website...it rocks smile.gif~
ginger_kitty
(((jan))) I give you props for being so brave and honest, and sharing your story with us. I think/hope your new thread will be very useful to Busties.
doodlebug
jan, good for you for posting it. I just posted over there, so I won't repeat it here...

So....I'm gonna go all self-centred and talk about me now! wink.gif

I have just received a diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) from my gynecologist. This has brought to the surface a number of thoughts for me, because the main issue PCOS presents most women with is infertility!

In the last few weeks of discussing my health issues with my gynecologist, I learned that it would not be a good idea for me to go back on the BC pill, because of other health issues. That really got me thinking about just how long I was going to procrastinate on getting that tubal ligation! So last week, I asked him about it - he was totally cool with it. Now, today, I've had the PCOS diagnosis, and I am about to start a medication that makes me extremely fertile! So, at my request, my gynecologist is going to schedule the tubal, which should happen in a few months.

I've done a lot of thinking about this over the past few weeks. I guess I needed one last opportunity to examine my head and my heart on the issue of children. I really tried to imagine what would happen if I got pregnant accidentally, now, at this stage of my life. I drafted up all of these scenarios inside my head - what would I do, what if I was with someone, what if I couldn't go through with an abortion, etc. And the thing is, no matter how I saw the options, I still honestly could not get to the stage of imagining the actual child in my life. It's like there's a big void in the vision, waiting for me to fill it up with something else - but not children.

So anyway, yeah....I'm gettin' my tubes tied, sisters! Or ligated. Or cauterized. Or whatever the right terminology is.

ETA: oh yeah, and I wanted to post this. I read it last night, and I usually like Cary Tennis, but I got kind of pissed at him for his answer on this one. She said she doesn't want any more kids, dorkface! What part of that didn't you understand?
i_am_jan
Wooow, Doodlebug...that's sounds like a very scary situation to be in. I hope you can get the tubal soon! Will the PCOS be under control then? Be careful in the meantime obviously, boy that sounds like living on the edge! Here's hoping that after you have the tubal, and after getting off birth control pills, you will be back to better health soon. I'm glad you were able to do some soul searching and get a handle on what you want, and don't want, it's quite a thing to think about doing or not doing, isn't it!? We'll all be here to listen and support you through all this. I hope you are able to get your health issues under control ; 0

P.S. ?- I don't think I actually have any clue WTF Cary Tennis was trying to say?! (furrowing eyebrows in total confusion!) but that poor woman, I hope that she is able to listen to her answer, the one she knows is the right one - her God of HER life and survival. I can't help feeling bad for the fact she said the husband knew when they got together that she didn't want anymore children - ?!
treehugger
Doodlebug, congrats on the tubal! I'll be watching your posts for a detailed report! This thread needs one of these a year or so. You're going to be the next warrior woman marching off to be "freed forever from the tyranny of motherhood"...or whatever that quote was.

I think when they did mine they "banded" them, bunch them in half and put a clamp on them sorta like tie-dye...the tissue in between eventually atrophies.
pollystyrene
This is why I LOVE the Chicago Tribune's advice columnist! (I pasted it in case the link doesn't work:)

Dear Amy: The other night my large family (seven children, my wife and I) went to dinner at a local restaurant.

We made reservations for a family of nine. Upon our arrival, we had to wait for the table to be set up. As we were waiting, my children were eager to be seated.

As the waiter came to seat us, I overheard a patron saying to the hostess, "Please don't seat them by us," meaning my children!

I went back to the waiting area and confronted this man. I asked him if there was a problem with my children that he didn't want to sit by them? When the hostess saw me confront this man, she ushered me to the table, saying that everything was OK.

Amy, everything was not OK. I wanted to leave, but my wife didn't want to make a scene. Was I wrong to react as I did?

-- Proud N.Y. Dad

Dear Proud: I have a confession to make. I don't want to be seated next to your kids, either. Much of the time, I don't want to be seated with my own. Your children are lovely, I'm sure. But picture this: I've just hired a sitter, leaving my own kids at home to have a rare intimate dinner with my spouse. I don't want to sit next to your kids.

Or I've just scored a meeting with my client who's passing through town. I don't want to sit next to your kids.

Or I've got my elderly mother with me and she doesn't hear so well. Yup. No kids for me, please.

You say you overheard this gentleman speaking to the hostess. I assume he didn't deliberately direct his comment to you. You shouldn't have confronted him. I would even say that, in this instance, you set a poor example for your children.


Awesome!

Great article from feministing.com. What a bunch of dolts in the comments, though.

I don't know how I feel about that Cary Tennis column. I guess I'm just spoiled that neither me nor LeBoy wants kids. At all. Ever. But he's still horribly paranoid that I'll accidentally get pregnant because he's afraid of what it would do to our relationship. I would be in a real conundrum if it happened. I say now, "I'll just have an abortion" but I really don't know if I could go through it if it actually happened. And if I did, I'm seriously questioning whether or not I'd even tell him I had it. It's a horrible thing to do because I think when you're in a committed relationship, it is a decision that has to be a mutual one, but at the same time, if we did have an "oops", I think it's wrong to bring a kid into the world that I don't want, no matter how much my partner does. There's a lot of factors in that woman's letter- the fact that she's had kids before and still feels ambivalent about it, the health problems, the fact that her husband doesn't have kids of his own.

I'm a little confused though- she says, "Before we got married, I expressed to my husband that I wouldn't be interested in having children past a certain age." I think that's kind of a mixed message that she sent to him.....did she not know she'd feel ambivalent later? I mean, not to say she couldn't change her feelings over time (it sounds like it's been a long time since she made that statement) but he may be holding onto the hope that maybe she'll come around. I guess what I'm getting at is that a relationship where someone wants a baby and the other doesn't is basically doomed. I don't think someone who doesn't want kids should have them for their spouses sake and someone who does want kids should be forced to go without. It's just such a core issue I don't think a relationship can move past it and be healthy.

To quote Principal Skinner, "Prove me wrong kids, prove me wrong!" Has anyone here made it work?
missjoy
I was watching a show the other day about a family with... I think about 12 kids and how they were building this huge home for themselves. They were obviously some kind of religious family as the girls were all wearing really old fashioned dresses. Also - they named all their kids with names starting with "J" (gag).

All I could think of is, who is supporting this family. I mean, obviously the mom has to stay home - and she was pregnant again during the show - where is the money coming from to support a family of 14? It seems so selfish.
culturehandy
Polly that was wonderful. I agree that if I go out I don't want to be seated next to the family of 9 or whatever. It ruins my eveing. Now I'm not saying that families can't take their kids out, but let's be logical here, don't take your young children to a fancy schmany place.

My mom was telling me that one time, when I was a child, that there was a get together at the race track, the dining room here is very upscale, as is the case at most tracks...anyways, this couple saw me there and looked horrified, as if "oh fuck, a screamer" but my parents kept me occupied, and afterwards, these people commented to my parents about how well behaved I was and how thankful they were that I was quiet. you can't do this with 9 kids.

I have also wondered how people support large familes when only one parent is working. If you can support and actually support 12 kids (as I even think about that I freak on the inside), then by all means. My only request is that please have well behaved children! Even when children are having fun, they can be loud, and there is a time and place for that. If you want your kids to have a good time, you don't take them out to an upper clas steak house, you take them to McDonalds.
pollystyrene
I know the show you're talking about, missjoy....12 kids? Ha, try 16 kids! They're the Duggars, a fundie family in Arkansas and the father (whose name is Jim Bob...no, I'm not kidding) was a real estate guy, then became a state senator for AR. I watched the show once and it was mesmerizing, then disgusting. It's kind of quaint at first- I thought they were just self-sustaining, religious, somewhat strange; then you realize how repressive it must be- the girls wear dresses all the time, they don't cut their hair. The mom seems to truly enjoy all those kids, but I can't even imagine what having 16 kids, one after another must do to your body. I feel sorry for the kids- it's amazing how well they get along and they seem very smart and polite, but imagine never having a significant amount of time with your parents to yourself....ever. Then you realize how they're just this little Army for God (literally- they don't buy clothes or anything for any of the kids specifically- they just get stuff in a myriad of sizes and they just wear whatever fits until it wears out.) and it's really disturbing. Here's the family's website.

Oh, and according to the Wikipedia entry for them, #17 is due in July.

Well, with people like that, I don't feel guilty for not contributing to the population.
culturehandy
16??? Oh dear. Oh My. Fuck. Shit. Damn.

You would never have time for yourself! That is just...

and Jim Bob? That just figures.
missjoy
Wow, yeah, it was a weird show. I didn't know how weird.

I also have to say that I love some children, but some parents let their kids away with too much. I have a dog who I love like a child. But when you are at my house, don't let your toddler run around with food or my dog will try to get it. And if you aren't going to make your kid sit at the table then don't shove my dog away and tell her to leave the kid alone. When we are at your house I keep the dog under control, but at my house you sit at the table to eat. dry.gif
humanist77
Oh how I love Amy Dickinson. That was such a perfect reply. The father's reaction to her response had to have been PRICELESS.

Missjoy, I had a mormon friend in high school who was one of 9 children, and I think the 5 youngest ones all had J names too. Maybe it has something to do with Jesus or something.

Out of curiosity, I checked out that Natasha Bedingfield video that was mentioned in the Guardian article that missladyj posted...it is obnoxiously horrifying. "Daisies" is the best word she could find to rhyme with "babies"? Personally, I think "rabies" would have been much more appropriate. laugh.gif

I have written a very long essay for a writing class on being childfree. It's too long to post here, so I can link it to my LJ account. If anyone is interested in reading it, let me know.
hellotampon
That Cary Tennis thing was fucked up. Have the father raise the child? I don't get it. If they're still going to be married and living together, how does that work?
culturehandy
speaking of the whole dog baby thing.

If I let my dog run around like a little maniac toddler, I'd be a bad dos owner, but when someone let's their little demon child run around like, uhhh, a demon child, some people think they are cute.

Bwaaaaaahahahahaha babies and rabies. Humanist, I love it!
i_am_jan
Babies and rabies oh my my MY my my...

BTW, have ya seen the previews for the two new summer hit flicks? Yeah, "Knocked Up" and "License to Wed." No kidding! Just in time for those crazy students bored with real life during summer break! skeet skeet! You wouldn't have to be but a little bit bored to drop ten bucks there, really, how thought provocative the subject matter! But really, we are just going to have to start hooking up and repopulating girls, our troops are dropping like flies and our education system sucks! (And I can think of a few little gals right off the top o' my head who could use a viewing, mkay? SNAP!)

p.s. I have no idea why I put the skeet skeet in there. But I lige it, I ligeit a LOT.
faerietails2
no, you know what's really annoying the crap out of me? people.com.

every freaking week there's a new feature about some celebrity talking about how magnificent being a parent is and how complete they are now, or how much they look forward to becoming a parent so that their life can be complete. so basically, there's baby-gushing crap on there 24/7. i like celeb gossip as much as the next person, i was really happy when julia had twins and all, and as a closet Britney fan i, too, was horrified that kFed was her baby daddy twice, but....STOP THE INSANITY! gag, gag, GAG. I can't take it anymore. i don't care how natural tobey macguire is as a dad, i don't care that bryce dallas howard always went to him and his wife for baby advice, and i don't care when keith and nicole are having a baby, and that's coming from a huge nicole fan. i. don't. care.
i_am_jan
Holy moly, I'm so glad I don't spend much time with my siblings anymore. They are all 3 mothers of toddlers and two on the way. Which sounded fine in theory. I went to visit last night cuz I wanted to see my nieces and nephs.

I love the kids.

It's the parents who scared the s$#*! out of me.

Um ... where is my sister who used to have conversations which were not 100% about her own little babies and family. It seemed *quite* narcissistic (I'm not even going to look up the spelling of that, no time).

What happened to the girl who used to talk about rock -n- roll? Or music at all? Or even WORK?

No kidding - after a couple of hours - with all 3 of them there - I began to feel like cupping my hands over both my ears and running fast.

The funny thing - they did not even ask me what was up - it's as though since no kids, I got nothin'?

o-KAY then - ? Still glad I'm not you. We'll leave it at that ohmy.gif
hazystargazer
......
hazystargazer
i_am_jan, that sucks. Hope they break out of the it's-ALL-about-the-kids routine soon!

My sister is pregnant, and my boyfriend's sister is also pregnant. Double whammy this summer! BF's sister is due in a few weeks, and my sister is due in mid-August. So while I'm excited about being an aunt again (I have a 7-year-old niece), I'm NOT AT ALL looking forward to the endless talk of what the baby eats, when the baby sleeps, colick, what color the baby's poop is. And I'll hear everything twice! Gah.
ginger_kitty
Oh, I hate having to hear about babies! A little bit is fine, but new parents seem to go on and on.

I am such a kid magnet. Yesterday at the vet's office a super chatty little girl came up and just starting gabbing away to me. She wasn't an annoying kid or anything, but I was surprised her mom didn't attempt to stop her at any point or saying anything to her about talking to strangers. She must have sit right next to me for like twenty minutes, telling me about her dog, her family, and showing me her gigapet(or whatever). My cattledog really isn't a kid dog, but we were both extremely tolerant. I am not sure what draws children to me.

I ran into to such a annoying mom, when Mr. G. kitty and I went to the bookstore this morning! One of her kids was running around with out his shoes, so she stops and puts his shoes on instead of paying holding up the entire checkout line. Even though he was old enough to put his own sandals on. Loud kids in bookstores drive me nuts! It should be treated like a library.
hellotampon
I haven't had to spend time around kids in so long I forgot what it's like. They are so naggy!

I went to visit my friend last Friday and her sister (and the sister's 3 kids- a 4 year old and twin infants) were there. The older girl was so annoying. Constantly coming up to us, asking stupid questions, saying really obvious things, and if you didn't engage her full attention she would just repeat it nonstop in a progressively louder singsong voice. I just kept thinking, "go away please." I know that's how kids are and it's not her fault but uggh... so annoying.

The babies were cute, even when they were crying. It's when kids start to talk and get personalities that I can't stand them. Although I still can't make an ass of myself cooing all over a baby in front of other people, whereas if someone has a dog I can follow it around saying nonsensical things in a high voice and not feel self-conscious.
culturehandy
In the past few days I have seen people with like 3, 4 and 5 kids. I don't mean older either. In one day I saw parents with like a 5-6 year old, then a 3-4 year old, an infant and and and a bun in the oven. Do people use birth control anymore??? Fuck, I mean you can obviously afford to support those crotch fruit, can't you afford to wrap your dick up??

It seems that when people have kids, they loose every other part of themelves, and are unable to talk about anything else besides baby poop.

I also want to be able to have an adult conversation and use the word fuck as often as I want, and because there are children everywhere I can't use the language I want.
i_am_jan
I always thought the working class should revolt. Or at least use some of the power we have considering the economy depends on our work.

Esp. when there is no health care but you're expected to work almost every single day?

Now that gas prices are ridonkulous, I've mentioned to a couple people at work like "gee, what if people just stop coming to work? Just take one day and be like, no, gas is too high, we're not working to support these BS prices."

But everyone I said that to was like "I can't afford to. I have kids to feed."

Fucken breeders. They ruin everything. They make the working class powerless. Because they constantly do just as they're told: Get some kids. Buy them a bunch of expensive toys and shit. Suck up all the credit you can. Live on the edge. But a bigass car. So that the powers that be can control you, you need their money cuz yours is all spent up on the shit they told ya to buy.

I mean, if the powers that be really wanted to suck a bunch of much-needed money from the working class, they'd charge them to go to work because they're work is connected to their food, right?

Me? I can afford to revolt for one day. But it wouldn't do any good because all my co-workers would ruin it cuz they need those little mini-mes need fed and toyed. WTF ever.

Blech. Just ranting.
humanist77
Today on the train platform, there was a family who were obviously tourists, with 3 young children, including a baby. Everyone in the family was carrying something that had to do with the baby-one of the children had the diaper bag, the other had the stroller, the mother was wearing one of those chest carrier things, and the dad was carrying the baby itself. They were also all carrying the typical tourist stuff like backpacks, cameras, umbrellas, etc. They all looked exhausted and overwhelmed, as they were huddled on a very crowded city train platform during rush hour. I just cannot imagine having to travel with so many kids, let alone with an infant, in a very large city, and taking public transportation. I felt sorry for them, but very glad it wasn't me. A little bit of schadenfreude.

eta-also this weekend, I was at a college reunion/anniversary event with the bf, and we sat next to a women in her late 40's, who casually mentioned something about us sending our "future children" to the school..I laughed coldly and assured her it wouldn't be an issue, which actually led us into a very pleasant conversation. She didn't mean to offend anyone by her comment, and she seriously understood and almost admired my own sentiments about the issue. She talked about her own two teenage children, who she encourages to talk about sex and use birth control if applicable, and encouraging them to think about the issue of having children, even at their age. She really understood the whole *complicated* correlation between birth control and avoiding unwanted pregnancies, even if it means having to confront the issue with your own children and accepting that they are sexual beings. She also talked about how she refused to give up her personal life for her children-maintaining a career and hobbies, and realizing how much happier she is now that they are older and able to take care of themselves, while she can fully pursue her interests. She admitted that people who choose not to have children seem a lot more happy and free. The mutual respect between us was blaring.
go_kayte
Does it piss anyone else off that most apartments charge "pet rent" but not "kid rent"? ANY kid, no matter how well behaved is guaranteed to cause more damage than my leetle hedgie. I also have to pay a $200 nonrefundable pet cleanup fee, but as far as I know there's no kid cleanup fee. To make things worse the apartment we saw hadn't been cleaned yet and there were kids toys, trash cans overflowing with diapers, grody grody kid things, alllllll over. And it smelled like puke. Yuck. There's no way me, my boyfriend, and our hedgie could ever top that gross-ening of the apartment. Luckily they had one that was clean, and we decided to rent that one instead.

AND, I was looking at a used car and the salesman said "this one is perfect for kids" and I said "well I don't care about that" and he said "well when you do have kids this car will be great for them". I was like, no thanks on the car and the kids!
greenbean
Hi guys! I don't normally post in here because I am on the fence about whether I want children or not...but I just had to share that today I went to the most awkward party EVER: a child's first birthday party. It was my neighbors' kid, and I attended cuz my neighbors are cool and there were snacks. The baby adores me, as did the other babies there. Like you, GingerKitty, kids are totally drawn to me eventhough I don't court their attention at all...I think its the tattoos. Anyway, I was the only husbandless, childless woman there, and no one talked to me. The husbands just stared blankly at their kids, and if one happened to look at me he would quickly look away shamefully--as if I was dressed like a 2 bit whore or something! Forbidden fruit I guess. Some of the moms acknowledged me but not by talking to me directly, instead by talking THROUGH their children, like "Who's that? Do you want to shake her hand? Go ahead give her your hand," It was sooooo weird.

Also, my boss is pregnant. This might be terribly unfeminist to say, but I understand the concern some companies have with women bosses who want to be moms...the mood swings are unbelievable!!
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