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hellotampon
QUOTE(i_am_jan @ Aug 15 2008, 04:06 AM) *
I swear, every freaking one I hear talks as though she were "the virgin mary" and "god" (from heaven) willed a baby to miraculously grow in her womb. Or like, they HAD TO have a baby, for whatever reason, had no choice in the matter.


Seriously! You summed that up so perfectly. When I was really young I always thought I'd have kids, and I was sorta not pumped about it, but I just figured I would because it's something most people do. Then I got older and realized I don't have to!


I'm not so sure about the biological clock thing. I've been consciously childfree since my late teens, but in the last year or so I've had pregnancy and babies on my mind. I still don't particularly like kids, and I haven't changed my mind on any of the reasons why I don't want them- I still DON'T want them. At all. And I know this, but I get this nagging body urge all the time, esp when ovulating. I just feel... hormonal. That's the only way I can describe it. And I can't say that at this point in my life I feel any outside pressure to have kids- I'm 23, I'm not married, not out of school yet, my family hasn't really started to bug me about it yet, and none of my friends have kids. So I don't know where else this would be coming from if it weren't biological.
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(thirtiesgirl @ Aug 15 2008, 05:46 AM) *
Ok, I just saw this Priceline commercial on tv and was offended. I mean, I love the Shat... but seriously, distracting women with babies?! WTF?!


It would serve better to distract me with a pint of B&J's. I wouldn't mind having a typing lemur though.
mornington
Hellotampon - I kinda get the same thing. It's like... I don't *like* kids 90% of the time. None of my friends have kids, I don't see G's son except on occasional weekends (and he's not a baby, he's 9, and is perfectly well-behaved around me), but sometimes (usually about five days before my period starts)... I want a baby, just a little. Most of me screams "nooooo", and I know full well I *don't* want a baby, but sometimes I almost do.

At this point, the child that has triggered this inexplicable maternal feeling usually drools/barfs/screams and the feeling evaporates.

I think it's partly biological (if we didn't have a drive towards caring for young at some point, how would the species continue?) but it's much, much more sociological; the pressure from the rest of our family/social group to reproduce probably springs from the same drive that leads to monkey see, monkey do.


Polly - mummy and daddy do everything for their precious snowflake, so when they get to actual, legal and responsible adulthood they don't know a damned thing about the world. And stupid is contagious.
konphusion26
This weekend even further proves that I am not ready for parenthood. I babysat my two lovely nieces (5 and 3)- we actually had fun Friday night. They slept over and we had a little slumber/spa party. It was cute - we played games, I let them put their feet in my little foot spa, then I massaged and painted their little toes and fingernails like they do at the real spa. I even cooked dinner (which is rare!). But today, was just awful. I decided to take them along to a church picnic. Running on about an hour's worth of sleep, I had to get them both up, fed, bathed, dressed, and do their hair before we left. It took me two hours to get all this done, and get myself ready. Horrible Idea!

By the time we were finally ready to go, they were whiny, tired, and grouchy - and so was I. LOL At one point the baby girl was crying for NO REASON! I swear if I had to deal with them and their whining everyday, I'd probably go jump off of a building or something. My gosh, I didn't know getting children ready in the morning was so hard. This was between 9am and 11am. Imagine them getting up at their usual time of 6am trying to get them in gear. By the time my sister came to get them, we were ALL worn out and dusty from being at the park. She called in the middle of our naps to tell me she was on the way. GREAT. I had the baby girl on one arm, the oldest girl on the other and I had to un-wedge myself from between them to open the door.

I seriously gained a new level of respect for my sister today. She does it all most of the time without the help of her husband. I'd be one mad bytch if my husband hardly ever helped me with the children he helped create. That's a whole other issue though.

The moral of this story is, I'm most certainly staying on birth control! LOL I do not want kids now, not ever, especially not two girls!

Sorry for the rant!
deschatsrouge
I just don't feel maternal for children. Taking care of some one's kid for me is like watering my plants. I know they need it, so I do it. I only get maternal for the single guys I hang out with. One of them recently got his top teeth pulled. I had the intense urge to take him home, feed him soup and gently stroke his forehead.
thepointybird
Deschatsrouge, I get like that around boys too. Show me a cute boy and I'm happy. Show me a cute boy with his leg in a cast and I just go mad for him. Could explain my lifelong attraction to skateboarders! My friend reckons that's how all my maternal instinct is channelled, since I have absolutely NONE when it comes to children. But it may be a better topic for another post! biggrin.gif
girltrouble
omg, deschatty, you slay me with your plant explination.

kon, if you can't rant here, where can you rant?

i get along with kids famously. i can charm most kids as soon as i meet them, and i can talk them into doing their chores, behaving or whatever (the trick is to make it a game), but i grew up being forced to baby sit numerous cousins so i know how to do it, i just don't care to. it's not my idea of fun.

what's really weird is i was dating a girl for years and we used to bitch about children all the time, then that slowed and stopped and one day she told me she kinda wanted a kid. i was shocked. as time went on, it got stronger and then after we broke up, and she moved to a different city (and i think got a lot less settled) i think she forgot about it all together. what i don't get (other than the whole thing) is why her mom would constantly pressure her to have kids. she had more than enough grandkids, what difference would one more make?
doodlebug
Oh my fucking god. Forgive me bursting into the conversation, but as GT says: if ya can't say it here, where can ya?

The man gave me an ultimatum on Sunday. Kids.

No seriously.

I have been up front from the first day we met that I didn't want kids. Fuck, I don't even think this is about kids; it's about him getting frustrated at not being able to possess me the way he wants to. I think in his twisted brain, he thinks if I pop out one or two fruits of our fucking, I will be tied to him FOREVER!! MWAHAHAHA! Or at least for twenty years or so, like his last wife. God.

That's the real pisser....he already HAS two kids! What the fuck does he want more for? He doesn't even seem to worry about what will become of them. I asked how he was planning to pay for his existing kids' university, and he said his boy (twenty) is managing to make his own way. I asked him about the girl, who is fourteen. He said, "She'll find her way somehow." What the fuck is that? Is THAT supposed to convince me to spawn with him?

It's just some fucking fantasy world he lives in where if only we breed, we will finally be able to play house all the time, and everything will be an MGM movie, except with porno fucking ALL the time instead of at the times I choose. Ha ha, eight months pregnant and ya CAN'T get out of it now!! (I never did tell him that I'd already decided: if an "accident" ever happened, then I would take a quiet trip to Vancouver and never even tell him a thing.)

But it's more than that. It's like - this was sooo not a serious relationship in my head, and I was totally up front about EVERYTHING from the beginning. Especially kids. And I know damned well it drove him nuts that I refused to be treated like some fucking prize to be won or possession to be owned. And this has all got me thinking about how what he really wanted WAS to own me, and maybe in his head, the surest way to do that was through enslaving me into mothering his fucking children - taking away MY choice about when he could have access to my life.

NO, NO, NO, FUCKING HELLLLL NO!!!

I mean, it's either that, or he secretly thought he could change me all this time. Or maybe he was hoping I'd get scared he'd leave and offer up some other kind of commitment as a barter. Or something of all of those, maybe. He picked the wrong fucking girl, and he sure picked the wrong fucking ultimatum.

Anyway, the ultimatum came on Sunday. I've been angry for two days. I dumped his motherfucking ass tonight.
auralpoison
Oh. No. He. Didn't.
girltrouble
ok really creepy/weird comment from the gt: ugh. he sounds like my dad.

he has two kids with his wife now, two with my mom, two from the woman he was married to before her, and if i remember right two from before that, 8 freaking kids, and he wasn't a lick of help to me, and get this-- he said he left my mom because he didn't want kids. uh huh. sure. and you got a bridge in brooklyn that you wanna sell me too.

i know i used to be a boy, but uh, boys are dumb.

reeeeeeeal dumb.

thank god i turned in my testosterone license.

i have to admit i am curious about the wording of his ultimatum of stupidity...

speaking of which, i have a friend who makes up insulting names for her beaus when she breaks up with them. i think his should be riffs on the jason borne movies, like "the borne stupidity" or "the stupidity ultimatum" or "the stupid identity"
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Aug 18 2008, 02:52 PM) *

i get along with kids famously. i can charm most kids as soon as i meet them, and i can talk them into doing their chores, behaving or whatever (the trick is to make it a game), but i grew up being forced to baby sit numerous cousins so i know how to do it, i just don't care to. it's not my idea of fun.


People mistake my being good with kids with me liking kids. I was also a child care giver. I had three kids before I was twelve.

Doodle, give me his address and I'll go over there tonight for a pair of testicle to hang on my Christmas tree.
girltrouble
*wipes away tears from laughing so hard.* thanks deschatty.

god i lurve busties!

humanist77
doodle, that is amazing and *exactly* what I would have done as well, even after five years with the boy. I'd drop him like a fly if he pulled some shit like that on me. There are very few things that are absolute/automatic deal-breakers and that's one.

From your posts in the portions thread, it sounds like you had a good thing going for awhile, so it sucks that's over, but it's only another chance to find someone who feels the same as you. (Hypothetically, as I am in a long-term relationship) My policy is to establish that agreement before any relationship gets deeper.
missladyj
Doodle,
good for you ! what a crock of shit! He lost a good thing. Dumbass.
thepointybird
Doodle, that SUX! I'm so glad you dumped the loser. I mean, what the fucking fuck? What's with pulling an ULTIMATUM rather than trying to engage you in intelligent, reasoned debate? You're clearly a smart woman, and he's obviously MET you, so he KNOWS this. Grrrr, I'm well pissed off on your behalf.
pollystyrene
I already expressed my shock and horror in the okay thread, but I'm still trying to mentally grasp this several hours later.

I guess we can see where his priorities are and maybe Valerie Solanas was right. "But there are non-human, male reasons for wanting to maintain the money system:... Provide the basis for the male's major opportunity to control and manipulate -- fatherhood."

Gah, I've been with LeBoy 7 years and should an "accident" happen, having an abortion without telling him is still probably my best option.
mornington
gah, doodle. stupid motherfucker, you're well away from that shit. I'm sorry what was clearly awesome fun had to end, but honestly, he doesn't deserve your fine self.
girltrouble
word, mornington

what she said... what an ass. that's gotta be the most bonehead (no pun intended) play i've heard of since forever
sybarite
Well done doodle, for kicking his manipulative butt to the curb. As if being ultimatum'd into having children would be such a healthy situation..for all concerned, including the unfortunate offspring.

Polly, I feel similarly. My longterm mister knows very well that I don't want kids, and is cool about it (he has one already), but if I accidentally got knocked up we would probably have a real difference of opinion on what to do next. We'd survive it but I don't even want to go there. I am more obsessive about taking the pill on time than I ever was in my gloriously slutty single days...
i_am_jan
pollystyrene: Just glad I'm not the only person I know to occasionally quote from the S.C.U.M. Manifesto, LOL laugh.gif

doodle: sorry to hear about some twisted-up shite... ohmy.gif
girltrouble
great quote i heard from an arguing, drunk couple walking down the street:
girl: i don't need trouble, i've got FUCKING CHILDREN!
doodlebug
Damn, I love this thread. Damn. Just, damn.

Thank you everyone, for basically affirming every single thought in my head. I will be back later tonight after work when I have more time.....
turbojenn
Wish me luck, y'all...my 'rents are about to land, and I know I must not take the bait when mom tells me about ALL my high school friends who are popping the babies out right and left, and "maybe I could ask them how that works." *sigh*
girltrouble
turbo, you should grimace everytime she talks about children, and make the "tssssssss" oh-that-stings noise, and shake your head. atleast it will make you laugh. and she won't know what to make of it.
thirtiesgirl
QUOTE(turbojenn @ Aug 22 2008, 02:32 PM) *
Wish me luck, y'all...my 'rents are about to land, and I know I must not take the bait when mom tells me about ALL my high school friends who are popping the babies out right and left, and "maybe I could ask them how that works." *sigh*

Sorry to hear. Parents can be so damn attached to their own agendas. Maybe you could give your old high school friends her number when they need a sitter?

Doodle, big hugs for taking the hard road that's right for you.
doodlebug
Oh. turbo. Yes to what GT said. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I wish I'd tried that on mr scorpio. BWAHHHH!!!

GT, I couldn't honestly tell you what the exact words of his ultimatum were. It was a conversation that started out sincerely and spiralled out of control when we started talking about how we wanted different things out of life. ("And we always knew that," I said, reminding him AGAIN that I'd always been up front.) He brought the children issue up cautiously at first, but it was like the more I resisted his attempts to pin me down into "planning a future together," the more he seemed to get this bee in his bonnet. It's like all of a sudden something misfired in his head. I think he was desperate to bind us together somehow, and somehow in tandem with that, he thought he could convince me to breed with him. Ugh! Like I couldn't see on the first date what life with him would be like, with or without kids!!!

I wrote about this in Okayland already, but I think deep down, he sincerely believes it's just "feminist stuff," and that pisses me off more than anything. Like it's a phase I'm going through, and sooner or later I would see the light and fall for him and do what people who fall in love in his world do: marry and have children. Like I'd eventually turn over my cherished desire to NOT have children, because of course, I would come to love him that much. Which is just fucking bizarre. But then I wonder if, in his twisted mind, he saw it as a natural change for me to eventually make, having left my career feminist days behind already.

Anyway, I don't give it much thought at all, except to remember how pissed off I am.

What's interesting to me.....you know, I didn't need any signs from the universe at all to confirm how right my decision not to procreate is for me. But damn, I felt like the strongest woman in the world when it came to defending my future as childfree. I honestly did examine it - NOT thinking I would ever have a child with THIS man, but wondering how I would feel if the issue came up with someone I truly cared for. I know it's different than being in the actual position, but I still know in my heart it wouldn't change the fact that I will not have children for any reason, least of all because it is someone else's dream. It is sure not mine. No matter how many angles I looked at the issue from, I could not envision myself with children. Not at all. I actually felt claustrophobic, thinking about it. It's soooo not in the cards.

I don't know why so many people say it's "unnatural" to not want children. Nothing feels more natural in the world to me, than this decision I've made for myself. Even my body knows it's the right one, nevermind my head and heart. And what was cool about having to face such a gross challenge to my bodily independence....I truly felt so strong and secure and at home in my body - and 100% in control of what it would or wouldn't do - when all of this came up. I need to be FREE! Of children! I don't feel anything resembling twinges when I see moms with kids - I just see the mothers' loss of independence and peace. It's just the way I am built. How can it be unnatural if I was made this way?
sassy
So what do you guys do when you get invited to a baby shower?? If it's really close family, I go...but I just got invited to one of my husband's cousin's baby shower and she doesn't even live in my state so I don't even know her that well. (The shower is in my state...I think I have only met her once, though.) I don't mind sending along a small gift, but I HATE sitting through those stupid shower games and pretending to be excited even though babies and pregnant people creep me out. tongue.gif
thepointybird
Hey Sassy - I think the weekend of the shower, you will have work/family/study commitments and/or be sick.

Seriously, I think it's a bit cheeky of her to expect you to go and take along a gift when you don't even really know the woman. Send a card and be done with it. She's taking advantage of the fact that you don't want to be rude to get some more free shit for her baby.
i_am_jan
I agree with PointyBird. Sheesh, it might be different if you actually knew the woman. I hate it when people I barely am acquainted with invite me to stuff like that. blink.gif
thirtiesgirl
I had to get in on this discussion. Last year, a co-worker who I don't know well had a baby shower that was thrown by people from work, which was a work party for her at a local restaurant at the end of the year. So we all had to go and comply by bringing baby gifts. My boss was the one who got the party together, so I couldn't really be angry at the pregnant co-worker. But I thought it was extremely unfair for my boss to require our attendance at the party and require us to buy baby gifts. I mean, nothing was ever officially said, like "you have to be there and are expected to bring a gift." But the implication was that you wouldn't be seen as a 'team player' and not part of the work social club if you didn't comply. I spent about $15 on a baby outfit for the kid at Mervyn's, which really isn't a lot to spend for a shower gift, but I still felt angry about this societal convention that requires single people to spend money on someone else's child, particularly someone I'm not close with. I did not buy that baby gift with any love in my heart.
pollystyrene
I also hate these blatant attempts at gift-grubbing. Sassy, if you don't want to just send a card, are your in-laws going to the shower? Could you give them a few bucks and sign your name to their card?
turbojenn
I will attend a wedding shower, if forced...those are bad enough. And at least my BFF gave me a personal exemption from her family shower last weekend. Baby showers are a whole 'nother thing. I don't go. I will bring a gift for the baby post-birth when I visit, but that's it. Wasting a precious work-free afternoon at a baby shower just isn't a time investment I'm willing to make. I've definitely had friends who were miffed about my absence at their shower, but tough shit. I also think its a little odd to give gifts to a child not yet in this world...I know parents need stuff for the baby, but I think giving gifts AFTER the baby arrives is a more appropriate sequence.

Thanks for all the parental support. We made it through the weekend without too much drama. Its clear that mom really feels sad that I don't want kids, but much like Doodle, I just KNOW that I love my freedom, and not having kids is where its at for me. My momma's got my cousin's baby in her life, and that's going to have to be enough, until my brother starts breeding, which seems likely.
sassy
turbojenn: I agree with you very much! I am back in school again and I work so I cherish my time off. I don't want to waste it celebrating babies when I don't even like babies.

I don't think she was trying to get more gifts...I think the family was just being nice and trying to include me. BUT everyone knows my husband and I are not having kids and do not like kids so I don't know why they think I would want to attend the baby shower, much less of someone I don't know much about. I hate that you feel sort of obligated to attend these events...I always feel guilty when I say I can't go. I think I'll just give a gift to my in-laws and that's it.

Thanks for your guys input.
turbojenn
Yeah, for me its not even that I don't want to celebrate babies - I'm totally cool with that, but let's celebrate them when they're HERE! But really, NO ONE likes going to baby showers - it just kills a perfectly good afternoon, and time away from work is to precious to be spent watching someone open gifts.
i_am_jan
Turbo: Actually, I don't like picking out a gift for a baby that isn't here yet, either. The last two times my siblings have had babies, I brought no gift to the shower. Instead, when I went to see the babies shortly after their birthings, I brought a little stuffed toy and handed it to the baby to cuddle with, upon seeing the baby at home for the first time. (Not that I've received any gifts from any of these people to celebrate my life's accomplishments...it's okay, though, REALLY. Although, my "baby" has been my college education, so I could've used everybody to pitch in a little on that, now that I think about it?) You know the old adage, "Kids are people, too" ~? I have one that goes, "People are kids, too." But does anyone listen to it? = Hell to the big, fat no dry.gif
faerietails
I go grudgingly to baby showers, and I bring practical shit like diapers and bottle scrubbers. I mean, really...do babies need GAP outfits? I think not.

I liked my brother's (or nephew's?) baby shower; my family was horrified that the baby's mom's people didn't throw her a big shower, so they rented out a big room (a bit much in my opinion, considering she's kind of a bitch). It was joint, men and women were invited, and while there were a few retarded games, it was mostly an afternoon of cake and pizza with friends and relatives. It was kind of funny because the men were the ones who were seriously getting into the retarded baby shower games.

Jan, I didn't get so much as a phone call when I graduated from grad school last year. My family flew up (well, not my brother, as he was busy with the kid's birth), but aside from that, none of my relatives or my friends acknowledged anything (kind of like with my birthday this year). That pissed me off.
sassy
All of this reminds me of that "Sex and the City" episode where they have a "I'm not having a baby" party. I really think we should all get on board with that. wink.gif
missladyj
my sister had a kid last year and just about threw a fit because my mom didn't want to give her a shower . Jews don't have baby showers. It is considered bad luck.

because I want to be part of my niece's life, I put it together with my cousin and another woman offered us to use her house. WE DID NOT PLAY STUPID BABY SHOWER GAMES!!! I also made sure there was champaign for people who wanted mimosas.

the last shower I was invited to, I declined.
thirtiesgirl
QUOTE(faerietails @ Aug 30 2008, 07:19 PM) *
Jan, I didn't get so much as a phone call when I graduated from grad school last year. My family flew up (well, not my brother, as he was busy with the kid's birth), but aside from that, none of my relatives or my friends acknowledged anything (kind of like with my birthday this year). That pissed me off.

I'm there with you, faerie. My mom didn't even come to my grad school graduation, or acknowledge it in any way. Admittedly, it would have been a 2 hour drive for her to make it, and she's old and not in the best of health. But 9 years earlier, when she was in better health, I went to business college in my hometown and they did a little graduation ceremony after my program was done. My mom could have come to that. It would have been a 15 minute drive. But she didn't show.

In her defense, though, I don't have any siblings or extended family members having babies, so she's not jetting off to baby showers every few months. She just didn't want to come to my graduations. So who else is going to celebrate us but us? I loved the Sex & the City idea of the "I'm Not Having a Baby" party, and the episode where SJP gets her expensive shoes stolen at a friend's baby shower when she's made to take them off and leave them by the door, and then later gets her friend to replace the shoes as a 'wedding gift' when SJP announces she's getting married to herself. I'm all for bring these ideas for single, child-free (or even married, child-free) people into the public lexicon, right up there with baby showers, bachelorette parties and weddings. Single people deserve to be celebrated in public, gift-bearing ways, too! Particularly as we're not contributing to the population increase.
missladyj
I was at a bbq last n ight and this dude who has two kids and is hanging out sans wife and kids drinking tellin us how he loves his kids and we should totally have kids because we would be such great parents.

Why do people with kids try to convince those without kids that it's so fucking great?

Maybe it's so great for him because he's out drinkin and socializing while his wife is at home with two kids! Jackass.
pollystyrene
Because they need to repeatedly convince themselves that it was the right thing to do!

Like all we've been waiting for is the approval of someone with kids to tell us we'd be good at it too- Oh, really? Maybe I should re-think this whole thing! dry.gif
i_am_jan
laugh.gif You guys are making me laugh!!

Okay, the fact that Sarah Palin's 17 yr. old daughter is pregnant has got to be the most boring "newsBITE" of all time. "Puhleeze," I puke! right before gagging myself with my earrdrums. This is the third time of the day on the radio I've heard it mentioned, talked about, judged, discussed, blah blah BLECH. Goodbye! It's NOT NEWSWORTHY.
turbojenn
A pregnant teen is only newsworthy because her mother promotes abstinence only education....I REALLY hope she gets the "do you really believe in abstinence only education" question at the debates, but I know it won't happen.
girltrouble
i think you might have posted in the wrong thread, jan. there's been no mention of it in this thread before you mentioned it. i think you might be thinking about the suffragette thread, where it is much talked about.

but i disagree. for a anti abortion, pro abstinence only, xtian candidate, her child being pregnant is VERY much at issue.
culturehandy
looks like those abstince only talks really worked. I wonder how long until said daugher either "goes away for college" or "has a miscarriage".
i_am_jan
ah well, it figures...once again, I'm out of the political loop rolleyes.gif I've been completely focused on only a couple private matters recently, and are obviously quite ignorant of current issues.

So I guess I still have a complaint; just in another context; I guess just politics, or media; or whatever...I'm just sick of hearing about everybody's babies and having every pregnant teen's sex life crammed down my throat by media. And being currently encouraged to procreate. That's really my issue.

But yes, of course, now I see that this particular pregnant teen is an extremely important issue. I shall visit the suffragette thread to educate myself. Wish me luck.
thepointybird
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Sep 1 2008, 07:00 PM) *
Because they need to repeatedly convince themselves that it was the right thing to do!

Like all we've been waiting for is the approval of someone with kids to tell us we'd be good at it too- Oh, really? Maybe I should re-think this whole thing! dry.gif


I have a friend with a teenage son. She had him pretty young, and has admitted to me that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn't bother with kids. She reckons you put way more in than you get out of it. It's very refreshing to hear such honesty!

And while I'm in here, does anyone else find the media's obsession with Jennifer Aniston's childfree state really fucking trying? It's like, oh poor little Jen and her underused uterus, she must be busting to have kids cos her ex husband has managed to find himself with 6 within a few years. Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe she just doesn't really want any?
i_am_jan
QUOTE(thepointybird @ Sep 2 2008, 11:22 AM) *
And while I'm in here, does anyone else find the media's obsession with Jennifer Aniston's childfree state really fucking trying? It's like, oh poor little Jen and her underused uterus, she must be busting to have kids cos her ex husband has managed to find himself with 6 within a few years. Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe she just doesn't really want any?


Yes, and now the media doesn't focus in on her anymore. They made the whole thing look so punitive...especially the Pitt break-up. As though he said, goodbye then, if you don't want kids, I'm getting Angelina Jolie. And then the media followed him. I bet she's freaking glad to be away from that would-be-ball-n-chain, bwahaha laugh.gif
konphusion26
Does anyone ever feel like the perpetual babysitter??? Like every week someone is calling you to watch their kids? I understand everyone needs help at some point. But don't these people realize I don't want to babysit all the damn time? And the guilt trip always happens because they "can't find anyone else to that can do it". Wow... either i don't have a life, or I'm a big pushover. WTF - maybe both! I guess I can look at it this way, I got free food and a free hotel stay out of the deal. Glad to be home now!
girltrouble
mr.t's daughter used to do that. it SUCKED. we always felt like we were being taken advantage of. t's daughter has two kids, but she used to call us all the time. we love hanging out with the kids every once in a while, but we stopped taking her calls. one thing you might want to try is to tell your friends that because your time keeps getting taken up with kids, you can only book one day a month to baby sit otherwise it takes over. if you don't feel like sitting you can always say the month is booked!
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