So, it was done yesterday! He got up early to do the required manscaping- he now knows what some of us go through! I offered to assist, but he didn't wake me up. Just minor blood loss.
His appointment was at 11:15, so he took his valium at 10:45, as directed. By the time we got to the doctor's office at about 11:05, it had kicked in. He said it was fun, like being drunk but without the unpleasant parts of that. I think he was the first patient of the day because we were the only ones there. We had a quick "no second thoughts, right?" conversation. He didn't have any. Reassured me that he was definitely decided on this. He reiterated that he really, genuinely has no desire to have kids. At all. Ever. And if that ever changed, there's always adoption. They took him back. I stayed out in the waiting area. As the nurse walked back past me, he said that he often comes out to get the guy and he's soundly sleeping in the waiting room chair from the valium. I asked him what determines whether the doctor prescribes one valium or two (LeBoy was prescribed one) and he said that it's basically height and weight, but that anatomy plays into it too. Everything needs to be "loose" so the doctor can easily access and manipulate stuff, and when you go in for the consult, he does a quick exam to see what's going on. The nurse said being physically relaxed makes a huge difference, and I said, "oh yeah, for us too!" (meaning women during pelvic exams.)
In retrospect, LeBoy probably should have been prescribed two valium. He has very sensitive reflexes- he just naturally flinches a bit when anyone touches him. Not sure if it has something to do with the cerebral palsy itself, or if it's as a result of all the intense physical therapy he had as a kid. I'll be standing right next to him and go to put my and on his shoulder, he sees it coming and he just jumps a little. I've just gotten used to it. So the doctor gives him the anesthetic (with the anesthetic gun, which, while not painful, of course made him flinch!) and once it's numb, starts the procedure. Afterwards, LeBoy told me that after about two minutes in the room, the effects of the valium were gone. He was completely relaxed, mentally, but physically, he just couldn't untense his muscles. He assured the doctor that he was relaxed, still wanted to have the procedure done. The doctor proceeded, and LeBoy continued to stay tense and flinched a little. He said there were a few times when he felt a slight pinching feeling for a second or two. The doctor asked if he wanted more anesthetic, but he declined. (He wanted me to tell all of you how brave he was!
) It really wasn't that bad and he could tell that the anesthetic was mostly working, so at least he wasn't completely feeling what was going on. He said he could hear the "snip" of the vas deferens, which was really creepy. Says he didn't smell the cauterization, which is good.
The procedure took a little longer than normal because of his tenseness, but the doctor is confident that everything should still be good to go (er, not
go, I guess.) From the time he was taken back to the time he came out, it was about 45 minutes, which is about 15-20 minute more than most people, the doctor said. They gave us two sample cups and directions on what to do with them (well, he knows what
to do with them, but instructions on taking them to the lab and all) And that was it. He has to have at least 25 ejaculations before the first sample (I told him he has a month, so he'd better get crackin'!
) and then I'm not sure exactly how long he has to wait until the second one. The doctor said about 4 months after the surgery, but not sure if there's a specific number. Maybe it depends on the results of the first test.
His insurance paid for it 100%- no deductible, no co-pay, nothing. Not sure how that happened since this is his first medical expense of the year, but I'm certainly not complaining. The doctor put gauze on the incision and it had soaked through with blood by the end of the day yesterday, which is normal. It had stopped bleeding at some point yesterday, probably within a few hours of the surgery, but he didn't switch the gauze until this morning. He's wearing the tightie-whities again (they provide more support and were actually a requirement of getting the surgery). I saw the incision- it's tiny, there's no stitches and there's just a little oozing today. He said it was a little sore, but nothing that would stop him from doing whatever he normally does. The only restrictions are that he's not supposed to lift any thing heavy for a few days and no baths/hot tubs/ swimming pools for 2 weeks.
Today he's off playing video games with Mr. Prophecy and some other friends, so it's pretty much business as usual. He said it was really not bad and he'd do it all over again!
It's a big relief for both of us. On one hand, it's very final. We're okay with that, of course, but it's still like "okay, that's it. Never going to happen." His worries about pregnancy were really, really taking their toll on us. We were in couples therapy several years ago, like maybe 3 years into our relationship, and the therapist just refused to believe that his paranoia about pregnancy was the only reason he was basically unable to have intercourse. She thought that there must be some sort of emotional reason that was blocking him, because there's no way anyone could be that worried about having a baby ("It wouldn't be the end of the world, right?" she asked....we weren't quite as articulate/resolute in our CBC-ness back then and we were kinda like, "well, yeah, it would kinda suck, I guess"....now we'd be like, "fuck yeah, it would be the end of *our* world") Anyway, as a result of his paranoia, in a seven year relationship, I can count on one hand how many times we've had intercourse. Seriously. We've found other fun stuff to do, but we've both known that not being able to have intercourse was really becoming an issue for us, a huge elephant in the room.
Yeah, really looking to that second lab test result and the gift basket
Turbo, did you get the IUD yet? I think you said the doctor gave it the OK, right?