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maddy29
gah, saw cirque de soleil sunday-totally amazing of course. behind me were a group of kids, they were talking a lot-like converstations, not just "wow" or "that was so cool!" so i give them a few looks, which to me CLEARLY mean shut the hell up.

but they just kept talking and talking! i'm sure they weren't there on their own, so where was the adult to tell them to shut up? I couldn't believe it-i mean these girls weren't like 5 or somethingm they were 10-14 probably, WELL past the age of knowing better. So I had to turn around and ask them to stop talking, and they pretty much did.

Not a huge deal, but I hated that I had to sit there and glare and then wait to see if they'd stop, because the whole time it's totally distracting me from this amazing show. And again, who was in charge of them? Did they just not hear them/see them? Or did they now care? As a kid, I wouldn't have even thought of talkign like that at a concert or play or whatever. So weird to me.
deschatsrouge
I concur Maddy, I HATE teenagers.

Heres a scary story. Yesterday me and the house girl went shopping for a baby gift for my very mentally ill, pregnant, crazy ass friend. (No, I don't approve of her getting pregnant.) So I had to go to the places I fear the most, yes, children centric places. the first store we went in to there was a filthy ugly store pet, he must have been three and he was just running around ferrel when we came in, he hissed at us and pulled his shirt over his head. After he grabbed on to the house girls leg and wouldn't let go I decided we were leaving before I killed it in self defense and had a panick attack. We opted to go to Shopko, there was more space, stuff is cheaper, and there are no store pets.

I have to tell you nothing scares me more than the thought of one of those beasts latching on to my leg and not letting go. I was sooooo happy it was the house girl and not me because honestly I would have screamed and shaken it till it let go. they remind me of hedgehogs, you have to stay still or they keep biting.
doodlebug
Maybe it's me, but I'm not sure I understand your story, deschats...are you talking about an animal "store pet" or a child? And if it's a child, why would it be a "store pet?" I don't understand at all - I've never heard that term used about a human. And if it's an animal, what kind of animal are you talking about?

Thanks!

ETA: on Sunday I sat next to a woman on a plane, who disclosed to me that she was 3.5 months pregnant with twins. When the flight attendant came to talk to us about being seated next to the emergency exit, the woman didn't disclose her pregnancy. Not wanting to take away the woman's autonomy, I asked her directly, in front of the flight attendant, if she was okay with operating the emergency exit (especially because she was in the window seat, right next to the exit) - I figured this would give her an opportunity to disclose her pregnancy and be moved to a different seat. But she didn't; she just said she was fine. Now, I thought that people who are pregnant, disabled, or too elderly or young (i.e. children) to manage were not supposed to be put in charge of emergency exits! I'm not saying that pregnancy always has to be disabling, but if there is a semi-onerous physical task to be performed (especially where you are the person who could be trampled by other passengers who are freaking out), why would you put your fetus (fetii?) at risk? Anyway, of course nothing happened, but it left me wondering if I should have disclosed it to the flight attendant, even though it would have basically infantilized a woman....OTOH, the woman did seem to me like one of those women who didn't want to "bother" anyone, so I wonder if that's why she didn't say anything...or maybe she just didn't realize the potential risk? It's hard to know what to do in these situations...maybe I should have just talked to her quietly about the risk, but that seemed infantilizing, too, to assume she didn't know how to protect her pregnancy. Anyway, in the end, I just sort of figured if anything happened, I would go into my usual "leadership" mode, take charge of the door, and make sure she was protected and out first.
maddy29

take charge of the door, love it:)

humanist77
Ew ew ew ew ew..this little girl and her mother were sitting in the seats in front of me on the bus today, and the girl was slobbering all over and running her tongue back and forth along the window frame on the bus. Then she kept turning around and sticking her face up to mine and STARING at me for several minutes. I just sorta smiled awkwardly, hoping that would satisfy her and get her to leave me alone. Her mother wasn't busy doing something else, but ignored it anyway. It doesn't make me angry or anything, it's just annoying. I knew, the second they got on the bus they would sit in front of me.
faerietails
humanist...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! i would FREAK if my kid touched anything other than food with her tongue, especially on public transportation. that kid's gonna get diarrhea forever, man.
turbojenn
These are the things that terrify me when I'm on a bus or train...licking the window frame...come ON...that is so gross...that momma must've been lost in her own thoughts to miss that one. EEeeeeew. And now I'm gonna think about that next time I take the bus, and wonder what gross things have touched the seats, windows, grab bars...
altargrrrl
man, kids need exposure to a certain amount of germs to build up their immune systems, but licking a bus window is beyond disgusting. i ride the bus everyday. you don't want to know how many people have done god knows what before they got on the bus and touched everything, not to mention what they sometimes do in the bus. definitely teach your kid that mucus membranes should never come into contact with public transportation.

deschatsrouge- i'm confused, too. what's a "house girl"?
doodlebug
Ew. Just....ew.

That reminds me of when I was a very young, and doodlemama would admonish me not to put coin money in my mouth, while explaining to me how it was riddled with germs and disease. It worked right away, I never did it again. So why would a mom not react the same way about something like that? Mind you, doodlemama made me behave on public transit, too....
humanist77
hehe..when I come home after being on the bus or train, I head straight to the sink to wash my hands. It's really the only germ-phobia I have. In Chicago, the seats on all public transit are sort of a dark, rough-carpety-velour fabric, and that always worries me, because if some crazy person or child peed on the seat you'd never know until you sat down! If they were made of vinyl instead you'd be able to see fluids on them. I can't imagine they ever clean the seats either, so after it dries, you'd still be sitting in someone's piss..blech. I've always wanted to yell at whoever decided on that fabric. I have sat down in something wet on those seats before, but I don't think it was piss because there was no smell on my pants later on..but still..ew..
katiebelle2882
hahahaha treehugger. part of me thinks we SHOULD sterilize people (ahem britney spears) but clearly, we cant do that of course but its just kind of a "ugh why are certain people allowed to have children" sort of thing.
margot
Doodlebug

As a former flight attendant, I can enlighten you!
You can sit next to an exit if you're pregnant, as long as you wouldn't obstruct it.
Nearly all emergency landings are planned, ie the crew have advanced warning. In those situations, you would move people around if neccessary, for instance if you had any military/law enforcement personnel, they might be more capable of opening an exit in an emergency. (As they would be physically fit, and used to emergencies)
I would also let a (newly) pregnant woman sit there, as you could be pretty damn sure she would WANT to get out, and open that door.
However, I would generally choose the strongest looking people on board, as those doors are bloody heavy to open, if the power assist fails. I know, I did it many times, thankfully only in training.

Now then, would you like ice with that?

-Sorry to go off topic
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(doodlebug @ Oct 4 2006, 09:01 PM) *

Maybe it's me, but I'm not sure I understand your story, deschats...are you talking about an animal "store pet" or a child? And if it's a child, why would it be a "store pet?" I don't understand at all - I've never heard that term used about a human. And if it's an animal, what kind of animal are you talking about?

Thanks!




Yes, it was human, but just barely.

Altergrrrl, a house girl is a nonplutonic room mate or same sex life partner.
doodlebug
Ah, thanks for the clarification, margot!

deschat, still unsure of the language...what does "store pet" mean? Does that mean the child of someone who works there, or....? Thanks again!
cloverbee
so my roommate who is childless got written up at work for leaving an hour early the other day. the very next day, two guys left b/c they had sick kids or wife or whatever and nobody said a damn thing!!!!! WTF????

oh, and did I mention that my roommie left b/c he was really sick??!!
lucizoe
Ugh, clover...how annoying...(I'm assuming he went through all the channels, or at least told someone he was heading home. How stupid.)

Was at the diner tonight and there was a little one toddling around...the restaurant was pretty empty, so it didn't really matter, but I was really surprised that her parents weren't a little more careful. Her soft little skull was right at table height, and she ran past us, out of sight, crash! then the screaming started. Oh.My.COD. The sounds this baby was making...there was no rug or any sort of sound absorbing material in this place, and all the windows were closed, so it was just magnified. Horrible. And it went on for a while; I wish they would have just stepped into the little foyer. They wouldn't have even had to go outside, and it would have muffled it quite a bit. Poor, loud baby. Inconsiderate parents. Blah.

I want a puppy. These are very bad, inconvenient feelings. I love our kitties, really, but I'm a dog woman. We're looking at Cavalier King Charles spaniels...I don't really want a purebred, but I'm conflicted. We need a dog that will definitely be small, and we have to have it from a puppy so the cats can boss it around. My dogs have always been shelter pups, but we never had to introduce an adult dog to two cats. A major priority is that the kitties aren't unduly frightened by the new animal, and we figured a puppy would be the better bet all around.

I don't like not having a dog, and I don't want to wait until the kitties are gone before I can have one, because that's at least 10-15 years away (with any luck!) Other worry is being able to find an apartment that allows three animals...the place we're moving to does, but as far as we know the owner is planning to move back in the next few years, so we're not guaranteed more than two years there...and we'd never give up a pet because of apartment difficulties, so we may wind up living someplace we don't want to...unless the owner of the apartment does wind up selling it to us (a distant, briefly-mentioned possibility)...

I've had some wine. Now I'm going to bed. Cheers to freedom!
turbojenn
luci - I'm a firm believer that if you really and truly want a dog, and have been wanting one for awhile - you should have one. I'm also not sure that having a puppy is an absolute necessity - it might actually be a better fit to get an older, calmer dog. My BFF got a little pom puppy a month ago, and her cat is still stressed out and pissed off, because the little thing runs all over and wants to play with her, even though the cat has no interest and growls, hisses and spits at the wee little thing. You cats will adjust in time...they are adaptable, no matter what they'd prefer to have you think. wink.gif

I also always like to challenge people on their assumptions that what they need is a *small* dog. I think its most important to seek out a breed that best fits your lifesyle, regardless of size. Often larger dogs have a calmer temperment than smaller breeds...so just consider all your options, and don't go just for size.

*waves banner for calm, quiet, laaaaazy greyhounds*

And as for cocker and cavalier spaniels...I have two words for you. Happy Pee. Eeeew. I love their sweet personalities, but all the spaniels I've known have had the happy pee problem, and that just wouldn't fly in my house.

/end doggie hijack/
lucizoe
heh...I forgot about happy pee too...I had two king charles as clients this summer and neither of them did that, fortunately...sort of made up for the lab puppy who kept pooping in his crate.

Unfortunately the size consideration isn't entirely under my control; I would definitely have a bigger dog if I could. I live in NYC and although I know that you can get a big dog all the exercise it needs even if you live in a teeny tiny studio, there are still tons of landlords out there who will put weight or size limits on dogs. Add to that the fact that we would also have two cats and we've just made finding an apartment that much harder than it already is, unfortunately...and mr.luci (who, while he likes dogs very much, is not a dog person, per se) has expressed much concern about the size. Fortunately, he's pretty malleable wink.gif

*end dog hijack*
katiebelle2882
lots of big dogs dont even need that much exercise Luci-bernese mountain dogs being one of them. in fact, some of the biggest dogs need the least amount. not sure why.
girlygirlgag
True Katie,

I read that Jack Russells are terrible apartment dogs, but Great Danes were great.... Perhaps the smaller they are, the more energy they have?
turbojenn
With a lot of breeds, they've been bred down to pocket size, and its like their little brains spin around like tops, and they have the energy of a big dog, contained in a small little bundle...and it makes for high-activity level dogs. Just take the example of the greyhounds - chill dudes...whippets - kinda neurotic....italian greyhounds - freaking crazy little buggers...

Danes, greyhounds, and bernese are all big couch potatoes for sure...but you pretty much have to give up a sofa for a dane, and the drool....*shudders.* If you're not a "dog person," I'd say the greyhounds are the least "doglike" of any dog you'll find - they don't smell, shed little, and mostly are feline in their attitude. But if you have weight restrictions, then you will be constrained...I'd just think that with 3 pets - your housing options are going to be limited anyway, and a building with weight restrictions may not take you regardless, because of the number of pets.
pollystyrene
Basenjis also have those non-doglike characteristics- no smell, they shed twice a year, but it's not enough to coat your house, they don't bark, no drool, very cat-like attitude. Downside- behavior issues. They are training resistant. My dog will sit, lie down, and stay for a brief period of time. But if he doesn't want to do something, he's not going to do it. They have to be kennelled when you're not there. No other option, unless there's some kind of hardcore training out there that I don't know about, or have the money or time for. See my post from a couple weeks ago to find out what happens when a basenji is left to roam for several hours. Even with the kennelling, you still have to basenji-proof your house- your garbage cans need to be the kind with a lid and a foot pedal- that's what has saved us from a lot of messes. I've heard they can be diggers and chewers, like destroying your furniture, but ours doesn't tend to do that.

They cannot be let off leash. Ever. They will run away and they are car chasers and have no qualms about running into traffic. He's only gotten off-leash with us twice- once when we accidentally left the front door open, and he took his opportunity to get out. Someone must have opened the front door of our building and he bolted. I'm not sure how long he was out there, but I had to go out and *nicely* call his name, like I wasn't mad. He came around the other side of the building, happy to see me. The other time was when I was out with him, he saw a bird and yanked the leash out of my hand. He was only free for a few seconds, but fortunately, the bird didn't fly away towards the street.

As for other animals in the house, we're a one-pet household, but our friends who we got him from had other dogs and cats. He liked to chase the cats, but the cats would either get away before he got them, or one of their cats just didn't take his shit and would smack the crap out of him. I guess it would depend on the cats- if they're older or more sensitive to stress, then, no, not a good idea. If they're assertive, flexible cats, then the dog will learn to leave them alone, or to expect an ass-kicking (or face-swatting) from them. Other dogs can be an issue- basenjis are hunting dogs, and in our experience, any dog smaller than him, especially the little fluffy ones, are seen as prey. His old owners had another basenji, and later, a beagle with him. He and the other basenji occasionally had issues- I've heard it's common for basenji's not to get along with each other, and he and the beagle got along pretty well because the beagle was a submissive female. She was a lot more high energy than he was, and sometimes he'd get annoyed with her, but no major issues. We haven't had many issues with him and bigger dogs, but other than our friend's beagle, we just avoid other dogs, mostly.

Sounds like a ringing endorsement to get a basenji, doesn't it? Well, the upsides are the no barking- unless I got an obedient, laid-back dog next time who doesn't bark much, I dont know if I would get another dog. He's also a really good looking dog- I get that comment all the time, how attractive he is. They have very expressive faces. He also has a very specific character- I know dog experts will tell you that dogs just aim to please and don't have complex emotions. I'm convinced that basenjis are the exception to that rule. He really is like having another person in the house- many times like a relative who you wish would leave and you have to count the silver after they do, but he has his moments of sweetness and you just have to have a sense of humor and patience around them.

ETA: Jeez, that was a long post- I forgot this was the CBC thread! Sorry to all you non-dog people out there! If this line of conversation goes on, do we want to move it to the dog thread?
lucizoe
Heh, polly...I'm picturing a basenji in a cheerleader outfit for some reason. Rah rah basenjis!! wink.gif

as I said, it's not an exercise issue, rather a housing issue...but thanks for all the advice y'all...if I have anything else I'll go bother the peeps in the dog thread (which I usually try to avoid because of raging jealousy!)

Okay - back to childfree talk...

So, yeah, babies. Ick!
doodlebug
Hah! turbo convinced me a couple of years ago, that if I'm ever in a position where I'm ready to have a dog, it will probably be a greyhound! biggrin.gif But for me, being in a "position" to have a dog would mean owning my own place. It's hard enough sometimes to find a rental as a cat owner. It's such a shame that a few bad pet owners have made it so hard on all of us who love our doggies and kitties. Grrr.

I can make this work as a CBC discussion, though! It does strike me as particularly annoying that landlords can legally discriminate against pet owners, but not people with children, except under special circumstances (i.e., retirement housing). (YES, I realize that some landlords DO discriminate against people with children, for those non-CBCers who are reading. Please don't misunderstand my point, which is not actually about children, but pets, and also about the law.) I've actually seen friends laugh when their kids go behind the sofa to poop outside of their diapers! When I was younger, I knew a young woman who neglected her child often, and left him to his own devices - he would take his diaper off and smear shit all around the crib, the walls, the floor, everwhere. Another friend's child buttered almost the entire carpet (and the furniture) while her parents slept. I've seen walls smashed, floors dented/scratched, carpets given "haircuts." Koolaid in particular has a wonderul, permanent effect on floors and carpets. And should we even talk about what happens when little ones get ahold of a sharpie or some other writing instrument? It only takes a minute to ruin a wall, and some walls can require a zillion coats of primer just to stop the ink bleeding through. I personally have seen children do much worse damage to homes than I've seen pets do, and yet we pet owners have much fewer options for renting. People say, "Oh, well, you made a choice to own a pet." Yeah? Parents made a choice to have a kid!

We CBCers should commission a survey or a study on rental damage, children versus pets. At least make the case somehow for we who choose to raise bundles of fur instead of taking on parenting.
turbojenn
YEAH, Doodle - you are So right about the pet discrimination issue in housing...sure its a choice, but I would defnitely think that children can do more damage to a house than pets...a pet really isn't going to harm the structure in anyway...I don't think a dog put the holes in the walls of our first chicago apt.

The people in my condo building were *really* unhappy when we first brought turbo home, and there was a brief kerfuffle about instituting a weight limit, since all the other dogs in the building are snack size, but I begged their patience in getting to know turbo, and explaining the breed - that they're lazy, quiet, etc...and of course Turbo won them over! Now they all love turbo and don't bat an eye when I have a houseful of greyhounds. My upstairs neighbors are 90 years old, so I don't see them much, but I ran into them about 6 months after turbo came home when we were going out for a walk, and they had NO idea that we even had a dog!
humanist77
I vote for that study to happen too, doodle. I mean, I've had plenty of cats who've failed to use the litterbox, but at least they don't smear it when they're finished. The only real issue I can think of is that the smell of cat urine is pretty pervasive and takes A LOT of cleaning to get rid of. But other than that, I have as well seen the effects that children can take on a home..it's not pretty. I mean, it of course depends on how well the parents discipline and teach their child, but I think it can be the same issue with pets as well.
faerietails
Ahem, *stares at the floor* it's the return of my embarassing Dear Abby obsession:

DEAR ABBY: Before my grandmother and mother passed on, a "five-generation" picture was taken of Nana, Mom, me, my younger daughter and her little boy. This caused some distress for my older daughter, who feels she should have been included. She was, at the time, without children -- and the decision was made by the photographer.

I'm not sure if this was right or not. Could you please tell me who should be in a five-generation photograph? -- CLAIRE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR CLAIRE: All members of each generation should have been in the picture. In your case, that would have been your grandmother, you, both your daughters and your grandchild. To have excluded one of your daughters because she was childless was insensitive -- and obviously hurtful. She should have been included as a member of the fourth generation.


Okay, that is seriously screwed up if that poor woman was excluded on the grounds of being childless. And it's even more screwed up that the mom needs Abby to tell her that!
pollystyrene
I saw that today, faerie!! I know, that's so sad that a woman's own mother wouldn't consider her part of the family portrait because she didn't have kids.

I, too, have a Dear Abby obsession. I also read Dear Amy (the advice columnist for the Chicago Tribune- I don't know if she's syndicated), Dear Margo, Dear Prudence and Savage Love. What a combination!!
pollystyrene
Case in point- here's a letter from Dear Amy today:

Dear Amy: The letter from "I Was Happy A Minute Ago," about the couple who intended to remain childless -- thereby depriving his parents of grandchildren -- reminded me of a friend of my mother's. This friend had one son who married and similarly decided not to have children. This friend complained frequently to my mother about how unfair this was. My mother told us about it and said, "I had four children and only two of you had children. She put all her eggs in one basket!" If this couple wanted grandchildren, maybe they should have had another child or two themselves, increasing the odds. They made the decision as to how many children they would have, and their son is doing the same.

-- Diane

Dear Diane: Many readers pointed out that if this couple were so eager to have grandchildren, then they should have had more children themselves. But to be fair to them, few of us know when we are young what we will long for when we are old. However, it is up to each of us to satisfy our own longings.
missladyj
I just found out that a co-worker who knows I am not going to reproduce, is pregnant. I told her congrats and she was shocked.

Just cuz I don't want kids doesn't mean that I can't be happy for people who do decide to reproduce go ahead with your bad self. I'm sure she'll be a great mom.


why is it that you don't hear from someone for three years after the wedding and then they only email you to tell you they have reproduced? I'd love to know about the other shit going on in your life. but I guess it is all about the baby now.
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(doodlebug @ Oct 5 2006, 08:22 PM) *

Ah, thanks for the clarification, margot!

deschat, still unsure of the language...what does "store pet" mean? Does that mean the child of someone who works there, or....? Thanks again!


A store pet is any living thing that a buisness owner takes to work with them. In my home town there is a used book store with a book store cat that sleeps on one of the reading chairs in a reading room. Also in my town there is a matress store with an old dog named Kitty.

On that train of thought missladyj I have noticed that if you decide to remain child free, people automatically think that you will resent going to thier baby shower and celebrating their descision with them. Secretly I loooooove shopping for baby crap, finding cute little clothes and shoes. I secretly get a rush from finding the frilliest (sp?) most diabetes inducing outfits. (I think it comes from the same place that likes to dress my cat up.) The point is, even though i'm not going to have kids, I still get to buy yours cute ass shoes.
ms.gb
i got quite a few questions this weekend about kids, but not from who i expected. my sis in law...i was expecting something since mom told her last time they visited that me and mr.gb were not having kids. She threw out a small barb and then i refused to talk to her the rest of the day.
the conversation went like this:

me: the house is in Sandy and it's huge! 11000 sq. ft.! its meant for hide and seek!

sis: thats cool

sis in law: you better have a lot of kids then.

me: HUH?!?!!?

odd. and then my dad goes on a rampage of sorts when mr.gb plays football with my nephews(my older sister K's kids).
"See? he likes kids."
"yeah...cuz their not his."

mr.gb loves my nephews and they love him back. simple, right? he only plays with those 4 because my other 3 nephews from my nasty sis in law and brother just aren't 'social'--they are thinkers, no matter what we try to do to get them to be more active--they are book worms of sorts. so we get them books and puzzles and stuff that they like. but mr.gb likes football and plays with the boys(total normal behavior).

it just completely mystifies me as how this innocent game of catch turned into 'he must want to have kids.'

uh no. we will be the aunt and uncle that have cats, dogs, sheep, maybe even a horse. We'll have the boys over for sleepovers, chocolate cake, waffles for breakfast, and fishing trips. but at the end of the weekend, they go home and it will just be me, mr.gb and the menagerie. and that's ok.
faerietails
ms. gb, i get that occasionally too. my cousins are freaking baby factories, so when i go visit them i have lots of babies to play with. one time one of the kids was crying and i managed to snap her out of it, and everyone was just watching me intently with this knowing smile saying, "see? she's a natural. she'll change her mind." gag. it's so patronizing.
maddy29
argh! I hate that look! I get that sometimes, because I am good with kids, and I really do love them a lot, especically the ones that are connected to me somehow. But yeah, liking kids and being good with them does not equal wanting to be a mom.

That whole "she'll change her mind" thing bothers me so much too. It seems very sexist to me, like a woman doesn't even know what's going on in her silly little head. It's such a smug thing to say, like someone else knows better than you know yourself? Uh uh.

Maybe next time someone with kids says that, I'll say something along the lines of "well, I'm sure you'll regret having kids someday." HEh. I mean, that's mean, but that's the equivalent of what they are telling us.
deschatsrouge
I get sooo pissed off when people tell me I'll change my mind. I'm not polite about it anymore. I just tell them That I won't change my mind and the older I get the less I want kids. Then I tell them how rude they are. They would never ask me for my banking information, or about my sex life. Why talk about this? Which is just as personal, if not more so than my financials or my sex life.
lucizoe
My new defensive reply:

"Oh, yeah. Well, I guess we'll start trying a year after we hear the last comment of that kind. How 'bout them [local sports team]?"

Thus far, no need for it. I'm bracing myself. Thanksgiving is with Mr.Luci's large and prolifically reproducing family.
ms.gb
exactly my point....

we were surrounded by nephews and cousins kids and other kids. so we just enjoyed the 'little childrens personality's company' not re-invested ourselves to having children. we had a great time hanging out with the kids...and an even better time drinking sake and eating sushi in a non kid environment.

sure, we love our extended family...but we love to say good bye even more.

and apparently, my sis in law(who's evil) pissed off my mom by disregarding her 'help' in getting someone to watch the kids that weekend. i swear, its an odd arrangement that i am so glad i don't have to be a part of.

but what irks me is when my dad says that both of my brothers make the same as mr.gb, yet one has bought land and is building a house in a tract area with no backyard whereas the other has 4 rugrats, hasn't finished school because of them(and its been 10 years) and practically lives at superwalmart. and that me and mr.gb could be like them. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

no thanks. we'd rather have quality over quantity. which is why we have a naked cat, an apartment, and can afford take out 2 times a week! I'd take Jake with a case of the sniffles and diarreha over any of my brothers kids.
doodlebug
I must admit, I don't get the logic whereby if you're "good" at something, it somehow must become your life's calling.

I'm good at cribbage. I have no interest in trying to make crib-playing my purpose in life.

Oh, I guess it only applies to raising kids. Huh. Funny, that.

As for "you'll change your mind," I'm starting to think the automatic response should be an excited, genuine-sounding: "Oh! Do you have any psychic predictions for the 2012 World Series, as well? Tell me now so I can call my bookie!" Or something of that nature.

(I can't help it. With increased age comes a reduced tolerance for other people's crap.)
maddy29
ooh doodle- i like that one- oh really? i'll change my mind? what else does the future hold for me? i never knew you were psychic! heh heh.

of course, in the moment all i ever do is stand there like an idiot cause i'm so surprised someone would say something.....
crazyoldcatlady
you know, i think i'm a masochist b/c i watch the nightly news. but a nice little human interest piece on "Mom-tepreneurs" on ABC tonight really grinds my gears, on several levels.

One, that it was a part of their ongoing series of balancing home and work as a mom. (how is this still an issue? where are the fucking men in this equation??)

Two, that the reporter was some no-name token female journalist that they pull out from the shadows when need a female to report on "female problems" (see also: token black reporter for "black issues.")

Those were the biggies.

This may or may not have to do with the fact that I am fucking tired as hell. I need a vacation, and am in the midst of trying to get one together (nothing big), and all the arrangements and trouble i have to go through at work almost makes it not worth it. (i can't believe i just said that but it's true).

IN conclusion, I just realized I need to take this to another thread (Kvetch?).

:-/
doodlebug
New York, October 9, 2006 – Sandra Bullock lost her temper at the premiere of Infamous when a reporter from one of the beloved celebrity weeklies asked if she has a baby on the way.

Bullock whipped around, got right in the reporter’s face, and pointing her finger, yelled: “Oh my god that is just a disgusting question. And you know what? What if I couldn't have kids? You know what? That’s the way you make women feel when you ask them that question."

source

I do admit, I like Sandra Bullock more and more all the time.
thepointybird
Well done Sandy!
maddy29
love her! go girl! smile.gif
pollystyrene
That's awesome! Of all the mainstream big name actresses, she's always been my favorite- I really liked her in 28 Days and Miss Congeniality's got some funny moments. Whether or not I've liked the movies, I've always liked her.
ms.gb
i think she's great.....even more so now for that comment.

sandra rocks!
missladyj
catlady,
I had the exact same response to that work family shit as you/ wtf? why is it only an issue for women why don't men have to do the same shit? I saw one of flex time and all the women were white, who worked whitecollar jobs and got paid handsomely. What about talking about making day care affoardable for single mothers who work blue collar jobs or minium wage jobs?

I am not a Sandra fan but she gets total props for making that comment
deschatsrouge
I'm stealing that quote from Sandra Bullock and using it on people who badger me about having kids, I may even put an accusitory finger in their face when I say it.
morgue_rat
As a new member, I would like to throw in my congratulatory childfree thoughts on the subject:

My ex-boyfriend and way-way-way best friend had been in the midst of sleeping with me early this year, reinvolving himself with me, when he decided to drop the bomb that he had gotten some "bartender" pregnant. It took me some months to register that he was (much to my suprise) a pathological liar, so I spent some of the worst weeks of my life obssessing over the pregnancy subject, particularly when he told me the chick had copped out of the abortion. All turned out for the best---I stopped speaking to him, began dating the weird artist guy who'd sat behind me in horror films class the previous semester, became cat-mommy to an orphaned kitten---but this whole ordeal was a cap on my childfree resolution. Not to mention that the truth leaked out months later that the "bartender" was a stripper. Gak!

I felt childfree from a young age; where other girls would herd younger children and siblings like mother hens, kids younger than me always made me uncomfortable. I felt that they could sense my discomfort and see through me. My interaction with children has always been awkward and forced. It hasn't gotten much better throughout the years, although I do have a three-year-old cousin I adore (when I last babysat, she squeezed juice all over her cantakerous, overweight cat and rubbed that shit in) and a friend who has a newborn (his feet are as wee as pink pearl erasers!).

I also fear the hormones that unwanted pregnancy would bring; this year I've had a couple friends who've kept accidental pregnancies because of some magical hormonal change within them. It's depressing and a damper to consider that the pre-menopausal female body is forever preparing itself for pregnancy. I've begun to practice the FAM with circumspection, but can't help but be paranoid in spite of the fact that my body is spot on and that my boyfriend had terrible adult mumps (quite bad for sperm count).
lucizoe
Welcome to BUST!

And hey, nothing wrong with being a stripper...I know you probably just meant "gak! he's a liar and mixed up bartender and stripper because he's totally unreliable!" not, "gak! ick! strippers are gross!" but just wanted to put it out there.

I hear you on the kid discomfort! I don't like being around them once they can begin to speak.

Again, welcome!
morgue_rat
As a "pro-sex, anti-porn" person, I have a lot of qualms about the sex industry and sex workers, but that would really be a hundred-paragraph debate. I find it disconcerting that 85% of sex workers, whether they're strippers or prostitutes, have been sexually abused. I also find it disturbing that many people are drawing their sexual liberation from people who are paid to mimic sex. Ariel Levy's "Female Chauvinist Pigs" is a good piece of literature that covers this. There is also a problem within the feminist community of defending any woman's choice as a brilliant, infallible decision, which just simply isn't true. Loose thoughts, though, nothing set in stone. Thanks.

QUOTE(lucizoe @ Oct 20 2006, 10:39 PM) *

Welcome to BUST!

And hey, nothing wrong with being a stripper...I know you probably just meant "gak! he's a liar and mixed up bartender and stripper because he's totally unreliable!" not, "gak! ick! strippers are gross!" but just wanted to put it out there.

I hear you on the kid discomfort! I don't like being around them once they can begin to speak.

Again, welcome!

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