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Full Version: BUSTing Trolls, Part Deux
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auralpoison
And so it begins anew: www.bust.com/lounge/jesus
koffeewitch
I'm not sure where to post this bit of joie, so here goes. I was using a different browser that does not have a favorites bar, so I just googled Bust Lounge to call it up. Near the top of the list was a quote from "bust rx" saying she is surprised about how no one has been discussing the bust.com lounge and "talk about school yard "mean girl" antics". US? I know folk around here who have had long-term friendships show some tough love to each other now and then , but seriously? Mean girl antics? I find the lounge to be a nurturing and supportive refuge in a mean-girl world.
auralpoison
Whatwhatwhat? What fresh fuckery is this? WHERE was this? "Talk about mean girl school yard antics"? Dunno who the fuck this "bust rx" person is, but she/he obviously doesn't know twat about the Lounge.

I admit that I calls 'em like I sees 'em & that it sometimes pisses people off (Yes, I pissed off a fat activist for seeing fat abuse where there was none & she took her ball & went home. She was annoying. Sue me.), but I'm not a "mean girl". I don't think anybody here is a "mean girl". Brutally honest sometimes, yes. But out & out MEAN? Unequivocally NO. "Mean girls" set out to undermine & abuse other women. They actively want to hurt other women & beat them down. They toss others under the bus at every available opportunity to make themselves look good/feel better. Those women get shown the door with a quickness around here. I could name a few, but I gots class with a K & know better.

Anybody that's spent an hour here should be able to see that this is a supportive, wonderful, intelligent place to be. I am constantly amazed at the quality of the people that the Lounge has brought into my life. There are people here who have shown me so much support that they might as well change their last names to Playtex Eighteen Hours. They don't know me from Adam; they have no obligation to love me or like me or care for me or think about me or be there for me when the chips are down. They just DO & they ARE. And that is something I will NEVER EVER EVER take for granted. Every broad in this joint has left their thumbprint on my fuckin' soul & I wouldn't have it any other way.

In short, "bust rx" can suck it. Busties & the Lounge RULE.

Now I'm gonna go put on my NYC earrings & listen to me some Jay-Z & Alicia Keys cos I'm feeling all fired up. Don't make me take off my earrings & bust out with the Vaseline & razor blades!
koffeewitch
http://community.livejournal.com/bust_rx/1099.html
THERE she is, AP. This link invites you to leave a comment. smile.gif
auralpoison
Meh. Somebody talkin' shit from months ago. Fuck 'er. It happens. We've had our dissatisfied customers (I'm pretty sure I know who that grumbler is/was). The ones with the real ovaries persist in perpetuity. The rest just fade away.
koffeewitch
Agreed. I hate to sound like a cliquey clubhouse bitch but I come here to interact with a specific kind of woman. Anyone who doesn't "get" the Lounge is better off in... in... wherever the fuck those kind of people hang at. I've had women tell me before that "feminists are mean people". Whatever. I never notice any of these women giving back their right to vote or their (recently-won) right to have credit or rent an apartment in their own name or buy property. So sorry if our honesty and strength offends them.
jsmith
QUOTE(koffeewitch @ Dec 12 2009, 09:40 AM) *
I've had women tell me before that "feminists are mean people". Whatever. I never notice any of these women giving back their right to vote or their (recently-won) right to have credit or rent an apartment in their own name or buy property. So sorry if our honesty and strength offends them.



UGH. I've also heard a couple of women say, when asked why they disdain feminists, "Feminists have never done anything for me. All the really meaningful, supportive people in my life have been men."
My response is something like "Do you like having the right to vote? To own property? To obtain a higher education? To have a career? To choose when you want to get married/have kids/etc? To be looked upon as someone with dimension rather than as an object/piece of property? And you want to tell me that feminists have not done anything for you?"

I saw that "mean girls" comment a little while back, and was kind of surprised at it. At the time, there weren't any comments (I guess there still aren't any), so apparently nobody is paying her any mind.
roseviolet
I can't help but wonder about people who say things like that. It seems so vague, yet hurtful. What on earth did that person experience that made her/him feel that way? I understand that for some people, The Lounge may seem clique-y from the outside. Over the years I've heard a number of people say that they were too intimidated to post in Kvetch Up because the people in there seemed to know one another so well. However, that always seemed ridiculous to the Kvetchies. Whenever anyone joins in the conversation - newbie or no - they always seem to be welcomed warmly. It seems to me that the intimidation is all in the imagination of those who haven't made an effort yet. I feel that it isn't that we're intimidating, but that these "outsiders" are just too overwhelmed by their own shyness. And that's a shame. I've always gotten a feeling of the-more-the-merrier around here.
auralpoison
I feel like the clique-y thing comes from time. EG: I explained "executive cock" to Sevenseconds the other night. There are myriad little Bustie-isms & injokes that we all have. Where else can I run into a crowded message board & shout, "Boobies!" & have everybody get it?
candycane_girl
Well, if I am going to be completely honest I felt like I got jumped on when I first posted in Kvetch Up. Only by one bustie (as far as I remember) and I know now that it was because I posted a kvetch without really introducing myself into the thread but seeing as how I had been on the board for 3 years by then I didn't really think I needed to introduce myself. I mean, I was eventually welcomed but I can definitely see why other people would feel intimidated.

However, when it comes to the board as a whole I always felt welcomed. One thing that bugs me about the design though is that you have to click on "The Bust Lounge" to find the newbies thread. I tend to automatically click "Forums" and for ages I had no idea where the newbies thread was. I wish there was a way to bring it to the forefront.
stargazer
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Dec 12 2009, 09:41 AM) *
Now I'm gonna go put on my NYC earrings & listen to me some Jay-Z & Alicia Keys cos I'm feeling all fired up. Don't make me take off my earrings & bust out with the Vaseline & razor blades!


I suggest 99 Problems by Jay Z. smile.gif
koffeewitch
As the (by far) newest member of this discussion, I have to say I felt pretty warmly welcomed into the Lounge. I mean, it wasn't instantaneous; people had to get to know me a bit first. Anything else would be superficial, and I'm not after any fake friends. Whenever I saw threads that were made up of people who knew each other well and had obviously been posting one another a long time, I thought of it as a GOOD thing. It told me that Busties cared about one another, felt safe together and were in it for the long haul. I saw signs of real, intimate, meaningful friendships. I thought it was pretty easy to find my own niche in this place and I can't recall ever thinking that I was surrounded by cattiness and bitchery. I'm with Aural; Busties and the Lounge RULE.
candycane_girl
Y'know, it's funny, I really can't remember what my first impression of the lounge was. I think I was 17 or 18 when I joined and I had only read one issue of the magazine but I really liked it. I think koffee is right, I would hope that most people would see that we are very supportive here and while there are occasional squabbles, things tend to run pretty smoothly.

Also, I just have to add that I love that new Jay-Z song. It makes me wish I could go to NYC for Christmas.
turbojenn
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Dec 12 2009, 07:41 AM) *
There are people here who have shown me so much support that they might as well change their last names to Playtex Eighteen Hours.


I'm callin' that one quote of the day. Word.
pollystyrene
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Dec 12 2009, 01:05 PM) *
Well, if I am going to be completely honest I felt like I got jumped on when I first posted in Kvetch Up. Only by one bustie (as far as I remember) and I know now that it was because I posted a kvetch without really introducing myself into the thread but seeing as how I had been on the board for 3 years by then I didn't really think I needed to introduce myself. I mean, I was eventually welcomed but I can definitely see why other people would feel intimidated.


I'm just going to apologize now in case this was me.... unsure.gif wink.gif laugh.gif
candycane_girl
lol, polly, I honestly can't remember. I wanted to segueway into being all like "We're tight, yo!" but that sounds awkward coming from me.
auralpoison
I can only think of one person that got the business in the Kvetchies thread (Besides me & I was asking for it, natch.) & that's because the person didn't really know what the thread was about. She thought it was the place to complain instead of it being like the Okayers where it's more like an ongoing conversation. She never wished anybody well or anything, she just dumped her burden & left.

I do not Okay or Kvetch because it's too hard for me too keep up with that many other people's lives at once.

And tonight's fuckery is They Leave me Stay.
candycane_girl
AP, that sounds pretty much like what I did. I posted a kvetch because I thought that's what Kvetch Up was about and that's what it looked like everyone was doing. I guess I should say, I didn't really get jumped on so much as I got quite a bit of snarkiness. And while the ladies of Kvetch Up are very nice and supportive I think the close knit aspect of it can be intimidating. I mean, I've seen people actually ask permission to post in that thread which almost seems kind of sad because as long as you're on topic then you should be able to post in any thread.
sevenseconds
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Dec 12 2009, 11:44 AM) *
I feel like the clique-y thing comes from time. EG: I explained "executive cock" to Sevenseconds the other night. There are myriad little Bustie-isms & injokes that we all have. Where else can I run into a crowded message board & shout, "Boobies!" & have everybody get it?


Did Sevenseconds explain to you the "subordinate cock", AP?

I hear you all, I wish there was a way to convey we're joking in text with more than the old semicolon and parenthesis, which I tend to skip when I'm confident that people get me, because that's what makes it um, a joke? - saying it with a straight face.
I have probably offended more people than i know because I find it hard to comment on serious things seriously. I have to joke about serious things and be serious about silliness.

So i too, apologize. You know who you are, this song is for you....
pollystyrene
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Dec 13 2009, 08:57 AM) *
AP, that sounds pretty much like what I did. I posted a kvetch because I thought that's what Kvetch Up was about and that's what it looked like everyone was doing. I guess I should say, I didn't really get jumped on so much as I got quite a bit of snarkiness.


Yeah, that sounds like my M.O. I think there'd been a recent rash of newbies whining about something completely non sequitur to the conversation and I probably released the snark.

Bad me.
auralpoison
And this early morning's fuckery is God is watching.
ketto
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Dec 12 2009, 12:22 PM) *
It seems to me that the intimidation is all in the imagination of those who haven't made an effort yet. I feel that it isn't that we're intimidating, but that these "outsiders" are just too overwhelmed by their own shyness. And that's a shame. I've always gotten a feeling of the-more-the-merrier around here.


I think this is true. I've been in the lounge for...geez, I don't know, I think 4 years. I was intimidated at first but I don't think that was the fault of the lounge. Once I started posting more and getting to know folks it came a lot easier. I honestly think people get very intimidated when they hear folks, in particular women, speaking the way they do in the lounge. I remember one of my first meetings at the university Womyn's Centre. The coordinator there was really outspoken and assertive with what she was saying. At first I almost felt like she was attacking me but then I realized I just wasn't used to hearing a woman speak that way.
jsmith
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Dec 14 2009, 05:57 AM) *
And this early morning's fuckery is God is watching.


If god is watching, then freak boy better behave tongue.gif
girltrouble
ketto, i think you've hit upon something. i think that's the reason i've always loved it here. there has always been a beautifully courageous fierceness about even the meekest bustie. a week before the last kerfuffle, i remember reading some thread, and being amazed by the conversation. over the 10+ years i've been here, busties are some of the people (let alone women), that i've admired most.
auralpoison
And tonight's fuckery: Who Will Be Left Standing? & Truth Prevailed @bust.com.
ketto
GT, I think that's why I always stuck around. It's a place where there's such a community of strong, empowered, and smart folks. Even when things get heated, we have our own ways of dealing with it. While issues with trolls have caused some major uproar I think any issues between busties have always been worked out just fine on the board whether it's in a random thread or the take it outside thread. I would be sad to see it go, especially because of fuckwad steve.
jsmith
1/14000 is its latest attempt.
kittenb
I'll give him points for obscurity.
roseviolet
QUOTE(ketto @ Dec 15 2009, 09:12 AM) *
I would be sad to see it go, especially because of fuckwad steve.


Well, Ketto, to be quite honest I would not blame trolls. A lot of people have told me that they no longer feel comfortable posting here for other reasons.
ketto
I agree, rose. I do blame trolls partly though, everytime he comes around things do tend to get crazy, but I also see why lots of folks have left. I wish there was an alternative safe space. I know lots of folks have moved to facebook but because facebook is an asshole, I can't get invited to the group, which is pissing me off to no end.
auralpoison
Isn't the troll control the root cause of the exodus? The troll pisses of the natives, the natives get restless. The restless natives rabble rouse, piss off the MGMT. The MGMT rabble rouse, piss the natives off further. More rabble rousing on both sides. Grande impasse reached, extremely uneasy compromise/resolution reached, the scorched earth is still smoking as the casualties are hauled away & the survivors begin to wonder if what they fought so hard to protect is/was worth it. Cuntface giggles with glee & rubs his ejaculate grimy mitts together in anticipation of what havoc he may cause next when & if things resume to normal.

The reasons people are leaving are myriad, but they all lead back to dipshit & he is loving it.
stargazer
I'm grateful for those of you Busties who have chosen to stay with the lounge. Through all the various fracas this site has endured (both infighting and troll initiated), I'll be damned if a troll is the reason I stop posting. Hell, I'll be damn if I give any one poster (Bustie or troll) that much power to drive me away. dry.gif

**passes tray of glasses filled with red wine around**
auralpoison
And I will take a BIG glass o' that red, Star. Without the Lounge, I'd be without you & couldn't abide by that.

Tonight's queued up for validation fuckery: No Fault Insurance & Bustie Mediator
auralpoison
It's a cavalcade of fuckery blasphemy: JJJJJEEEESSSUUSLY, JJJJJEEEESSSUUS, & JJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUS
treehugger
LOL AP....have I told you that I love you tonight? smile.gif You ALWAYS make me smile- I love your way of phrasing things. That, and you are one cool motha fucka. smile.gif
culturehandy
I agree with you all, and I wish people weren't leaving in droves.

I'm still here, as I said. Just being a little more quiet than usual.
sassygrrl
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Dec 17 2009, 01:08 PM) *
I agree with you all, and I wish people weren't leaving in droves.

I'm still here, as I said. Just being a little more quiet than usual.


I'm still here too... I just wish people were in still kvetch... I guess everyone is on FB now.

***passes around rum balls*****

jsmith
HEY, I found a pic of troll boy:

Clicky clicky!
pollystyrene
QUOTE(jsmith @ Dec 17 2009, 01:56 PM) *
HEY, I found a pic of troll boy:

Clicky clicky!


Awesome!
grrrlyouwant
QUOTE(jsmith @ Dec 17 2009, 10:56 AM) *
HEY, I found a pic of troll boy:

Clicky clicky!


squee, monkey kiss! seeing how the blond is all wrapped around the guy he's making out with makes me warm and fuzzy. happy.gif
chachaheels
I wouldn't say problems here have anything to do with Steve or any other troll.

I've said it before and I don't mind repeating it: I'm awfully grateful to Stevie boy because his presence here as made all the contempt directed against busties so clear. If I had any indication that people like Callie were in any way concerned with running this bulletin board with the community in mind, I would have been pleased as punch to cooperate with anything she chose to do.

But when Callie and her girls started censoring busties here, and disallowing us to post as we please while allowing Steve full and continued access--wow. Their true colours were blinding.

The problems here are coming out of peoples' contempt for busties and for ideas that have anything to do with real freedom of speech or community or egalitarianism of any kind. This is just a bunch of women who are so defensive about their fuckups they'll sell us all out to favour people like Steve, just because they think they can, with impunity. That's such a sad thing, when it would be so easy to just do as we asked and respect us as the community on which they depend. It's so much worse to know they've been at it so long, too! Shame.

But if it weren't for Steve, I'd be completed deluded about the Mod Squad and their ilk's intentions. I'd still be helping them out! Having discussions here where they could capitalize on what we discuss in order to keep their jobs and sell more subscriptions--right back to us! So, really, I owe the guy my gratitude.

And for that, I've no problem leaving Steve full access to this board. He's evidently the kind of "bustie" these girls prefer!
I certainly don't want to get in their way!


coffeebean
Well, it appears that Steve's full and continued access has been curtailed for at least the previous week or two. Thanks to the new bustie mod for helping to keep things in check smile.gif Greatly appreciated!
girltrouble
what's more, toto, some of us were around back then. you aren't the sole repository of history around here. infact there are some glaringly obvious holes in your knowledge, so let me inform you, so you can see why the community forum is important:

this guy?
QUOTE
Next, the busties were annoyed by one religious troll that we were tolerating and began having a conversation about wanting to kill their babies and have abortions to annoy him back. He wrote World Net Daily, they published the thread in World Net Daily and we were invaded by some 20+ fundies. Real nasty domineering male types and that went on for months. Finally it abated, but I can't remember anyone who left during that time.

that's steve.

and his attacks only temporarily abated. i was around then, and he still attacks us. it's been more than ten years, and he's still attacking us. so we came up with some rules to minimize his damage-- one of which was asking busties to come to consensus before starting new threads. this is why aural posted her notice in your thread after YOUR sneering opening comment last week.

attack after attack the management did little to nothing, leaving steve to attack the lounge for 4 or 5 days at a time, and leaving his posts up for nearly as long before deleting them. he posted page upon page of faked abortion pics, and even cyberstalked a bustie, going so far as to take her picture and post it with pictures of his faked pics. the management's reaction? DO NOTHING. pretend there is no problem. eventually they punished us by disabling the pic feature in the lounge, before returning to their see-no-evil/head in the sand solution. eventually, as chacha noted, we got sick of it. we complained, we emailed and finally after YEARS of complaints, the management decided to give us a mod, cynically choosing me. i had said publicly i did not want the job, because i'm too much of a hothead. i love getting in arguments and insulting people. i was set up to fail. but, if you want the rest of the story, go back a few pages and read it for yourself.

but do us a favor, toto, don't assume you know the whole story, k? we do these things not to power trip, but because we have earned our battle scars. we have been in the trenches while you have been on vacation.
you haven't been here recently, so you don't have ANY IDEA how bad the troll attacks have been. the ones back then DON'T HOLD A CANDLE to the ones in the last few years. when aural and i were moderating briefly and we each deleted hundreds and hundreds of posts in an hour or two, only to be held up as grand failures by the management who has been reluctant to do anything for years.
jsmith
His latest pseudo is IT IS FINISHED!
Do you all think that means he's finally going away?
roseviolet
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Dec 16 2009, 12:39 PM) *
Isn't the troll control the root cause of the exodus?


AP, that doesn't feel right to me. If the moderators feel that way, then I feel that they're simply passing the blame. Granted, I can only speak for myself, but here's how it went down from my perspective.

1. Troll showed up and made a ton of posts. Annoying, but I've lived through it many times over the years. It never drove me away before and it didn't this time, either. Following the handy links provided by GT and Tree, I put his stuff on ignore and went on as usual.
2. Some Busties began to complain in the Busting Trolls thread. This is part of the cycle of every troll attack here. I totally understood the anger that was expressed and support their ability to express it, but I figured the Powers That Be would just ignore the conversation like they usually do, so I kinda ignored it and, again, went on as usual.
3. But THEN something different happened: GT's account was suspended by a moderator. That act alone is what upset me. Before GT's account was suspended, everything was business as usual. Callie reinstated GT's account a couple of days early, but I never felt like she took responsibility for the damage she caused. It put a very bad taste in my mouth.

Since then, Bust feels different to me. In the past I took for granted that I could say any ol' thing I wanted to here on Bust and it would be okay. Granted, it's not like I have a tendency to cross a lot of lines, but at least I knew that I had the option. But now? Well, now I'm afraid to make any sort of criticism here. I'm afraid to express how I feel about the situation with any sort of passion. I *have* to keep a cool head lest I be punished for expressing my feelings. Not a single thing I've posted has been deleted, yet I feel a need to self-censor anyway. And THAT is why I haven't been around here much.

The troll didn't taint Bust for me. The moderator did. I guess I'm having a "Who watches the Watchmen" feeling about the place. Maybe if the moderators leave the Busties alone for a while I'll get over it and start posting here on a more regular basis, but not yet. I need more time before I can feel comfortable trusting the people who run this place.
zoya
I agree with rose - the moderator incident bummed me out more than the troll itself...

I haven't been around much lately, most cause I'm busy than anything ..... I am on the FB group, but honestly, I don't really like posting on there so much. Part of what I love about the lounge is my anonymity, and I'm not very anonymous if I post in FB, ya know?
girltrouble
what rose said.

it wasn't the troll, he's never been anything but a symptom of TPTB's complete ineptitude.

getting booted off, for me, was the last straw.
TPTB gave all sorts of all sorts of bullshit reasons, but none of them held water.
it wasn't my language, everybody knows i curse like a sailor.
it wasn't because i came up with the idea of the boycott/letter campaign, i did not, i only championed the idea, and did some organizing.
and it wasn't because i violated some non-existant lounge rule, they posted the most ridiculous, transparent, fig leaf, as if we wouldn't see it was patently absurd.

no, they banned me because i am, and have always been, their most ardent and vocal critic. something they could not abide.
nothing more.

i can't speak for anyone else, but i can certainly see that that would have a chilling effect; the lounge has been a place where we've always been able to speak our minds freely. obviously that was of no value to TBTB. but it really changes the atmosphere, and how people feel round here.
culturehandy
newest incantation is AuralPretentiousBustPoison
pixiedust
I have to agree with Roseviolet. Steve, other trolls, and even Bustie infighting that has been directed at me have never run me off. I know I haven't been posting much in a several months because they started blocking things at work and I did most of my Busting from work. However, once I read all the stuff going down here between Callie and GT, I haven't really been very motivated to spend my precious freetime in a space I don't feel particularly safe anymore.
deschatsrouge
Sexy Feminist Infighting is on the prowl.
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