QUOTE(CuriousKat @ Nov 25 2006, 05:00 PM)
My bf wants to get me off with just hands and no toys, when I get myself off its with toys. Only once have I been able to get myself off with my hands and I think that was the first time that I ever experienced an orgasm. Last night he tried, he rubbed my clit and I couldnt control myself because it was so intense, it felt soooo good but still no orgasm, just a lot of penetration. I got him off and he gushed all over my hand, it was amazing, it was my first time helping him out, oh I loved it!!
Does anyone have any suggestions on what we should do differently in order to get me off, I know where my spot is, a vibrator will wake up that spot and my clit and I go to town but with hands its harder to get off.
We havent had intercourse yet, we are going to someday but thats after I get on the pill and he buys supplies.
Ok so I need advice on what to do when I am with my guy and wants to get me off with no toys, just hands.
Also for anyone that is on the pill (birth control) what kind would you recommened (patch, pill?) Also I need a form of the pill that does NOT cause weight gain because I do not need it nor do I want it.
We have been together officially for 4 months and 1 week, if he werent in my life I dont know what I would do, he is so wonderful and so much fun to be with. If any of you have suggestions for the above questions I would greatly appreciate it
(I posted originally in the Female Ejaculation thread but no one has been there in awhile
Thanks for reading
Thanks for reading:)
I'm surprised that you haven't been snowed under with responses and helpful suggestions from young women who've had the same problem; there's a lot of it going around. It's been a presence on earth since the day Eve nibbled the apple. And odds are that she nibbled many times before she took the big crunching bite that brought on a screaming sunburst and a sky full of brilliant shooting stars, all seen with clinched eyelids..
In the absence of any better ideas, here are some that I generated in the solitude of riding a lawn mower about twelve hours over the last three days, busily mulching leaves before the cold uglies descend from the North, a couple of days hence..
First, a bit of basic philosophy: There are personality types who say, in effect, “Don't waste time on principles. Just tell me how to do it”. An opposite type says, “Explain the principles to me and I'll figure out how to do it, six ways from Sunday. Not knowing your type, I'm offering some of each.
A Principle. The higher the degree of arousal, the quicker and easier the orgasm. Each orgasm increases the overall level of arousal, not just for the immediate orgasm. After the third, you're hotter than your were after the first. And after the twelfth . . . well you get the idea.
A Practice. Buld up the pressure with planned procedures. Here are a very few of many possibilities to think about.
1.Lots of kissing before moving on. Please note, Kat, that simultanious stimulation from multiiple sources multiplies the buildup of pressure.
2.While holding long kisses, he twiddles a nipple for you.
3.He takes a nipple in mouth while twiddling the other.
4.Before getting a finger in vulva or on clit, with finger tips he strokes slowly
and lightly inner thighs and lower abdomen. Slowly, time after time.
5.Stroke outer lips of vulva slowly and lightly bottom to top and back many times.
Five to ten times or more. It should make you want to scream “Go on, dammit.”
6.After he gets a finger on your clit, a long, deep kiss increases the orgasmic pressure.
7.While stroking your clit he can take a nipple in his mouth.
8.Running his tongue across nipple at varying speeds while stroking can send you up the wall with smoke and fire streaming from your ears.
9.You're grasping his hard, throbbing erection all this time, a joy to both.
10.Erotic movies. They're available almost everywhere, now. Tape for the VCR or discs for the DVD. There are degrees of porn and eroticism for your own taste. Some people equate foul language with the best porn. Others prefer a more refined taste. There's something for everyone. If you opt for refinement you'll probably like the series of demonstration tapes produced by a college instructor in North Carolina. You'll find the ads in Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Esquire and Playboy among other sources.
Hot? Lemme tell you about hot.
Here's an abbreviated case history, custom edited for you, maybe six months prior to publication in a how-to-do-it manual by sex therapist Sarah L. Van Der Mohl, MSW.
In a small town the guy was new in a high profile job. Mary got to him first. With mutual acquaintances, they met in the middle of a sidewalk crowded with people waiting the start of the Christmas parade. After about five minutes he had to climb up on the flatbed truck trailer to broadcast a description of the parade.
They didn't see each other again for five weeks, but talked for about half-an-hour a day on the phone. A week later he said “I'm going to buy a car next week. You can help me christen it with a weekend at the beach.
Without missing a beat, she said “When d'ya wanna leave?”
Disappointed in her flip response without even an excuse, he said, “I'm not kidding.”
Without missing a beat, she said, “I'm not either. When d'ya wanna leave?
They agreed on 1:00 p.m., Saturday of next week. Maybe you can imagine what they were thinking as each went to bed alone every night. But, wouldn't you know it? His car purchase was delayed a week. Oooo misery, night after night of lonely anticipation. Another week of it.
The agony of the long dry spell – eight months since he'd split with his wife – dragged on, slow as Christmas after next. Every morning, taking advantage of a break in his schedule, he went into the rest room to generate an explosive blast of relief. Better than nothing, it provided only few minutes relief from the almost unbearable pressure.
Finally Saturday arrived and he goofed off from his job at 11:30, picked up Mary at 12:00 and estimated a two-hour drive to the beach. At 2:15 they'd be in the sack doing what came naturally.
Murphy's law has a way of governing urgent personal matters. The law provides that “if it can happen it will happen. At the worst possible time.” But Judge Murphy gave them a break. The car trouble happened at the edge of town instead of in the middle of nothing fifty miles away. They finally got out of town at 4:00 o'clock. Two hours to go.
“OK,” they agreed happily, “so we'll be in bed at 6:15.” After eight months, he rationalized, “what's another lousy four-hours.”
The pressure that had been building for five weeks had become extremely intense. They were both long past ready. Darkness had fallen as they wheeled into the first traffic light in the small town twelve miles from their destination. They celebrated with a long kiss and accompanying breast play. Ooo, nice.
Five traffic lights to go and they caught red on every one. They repeated that scenario five times in about ten minutes and the windows steamed up. He wondered if he was going to cream his pants before they got to the motel.
He didn't, but what happened was a lot more interesting. Fast forward to where Mary said with some impatience, “I don't need that; I'm ready,” and like silk he slipped into action mode. After three or four short slow moves he felt the moment of inevitability was seconds away and stopped still, hoping to salvage it. Mary had been there before and recognized the problem. She stopped her loud, joyous sounds and spontaneous moves of joy. They lay quiet and unmoving for a moment before he seemed to feel the repeated grasping of a tiny hand triggering his ecstatic release. Neither had moved a muscle.
They lay there, still coupled and coming down to normal. After about a minute Mary was delightfully surprised to feel his next erection, throbbing and growing inside her.
There's some food for a lot of thought.
Good luck and good loving.