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neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(freckleface7 @ Jun 11 2008, 03:25 PM) *
and to both you & n.nelly: can you elaborate on your feelings of being an Only Child please?
I am curious, and did your feelings change as you grew up?

As an only child I got really comfortable with being alone. I was a little bit on the shy side as a child. I learned to appreciate my alone time, where as some of my friends from larger families found it harder to be alone.
Here is the double edged sword that I deal with: Positive: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me. Negative: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me.
I was lonely a lot, too. So, feeling lonely as an adult isn't as bothersome to me, as being irritated by someone. I have a low tolerance for annoying people, places, and things.
As a child, I was more flexible about friendships, as a teenager I was more flexible about relationships, and as an adult person, I am more "stuck in my ways" and comfortable with myself, so I am more picky about who I date or befriend.
damona
i was an only child for the first 10 years of my life. i was a little adult. read way above my grade level, never had a clue what was on beverly hills 90210 or whatever the popular show was that year, joined chess club in 3rd grade,... if i played outside it was usually by myself and i was trying to perfect a cartwheel or trying to weave a basket out of grass or something else odd. or climbing a tree with a book and an apple. even after my sis was born, she was so much younger i was more like another parent than a sibling. i think tho, that being an only helped me to buck the trends. i watched more adult shows (northern exposure, murphy brown) with my parents and so i learned that there was a whole big world out there. i learned to amuse myself and to be creative and imaginative b/c there often wasn't anyone else around. downside to that is that now, living in the circus that i do, i crave silence and calmness sometimes, to the point where i lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes, just to take a moment to collect myself.

confession: today was the last day of school. i am dreading 3 months of mostly alone time with my children. i feel like a horrible mom. i desperately wish i could afford camp or something, anything that would get at least 1 or 2 of them out of my hair, even if it's just a couple hours a week.
kittenb
QUOTE
i desperately wish i could afford camp or something, anything that would get at least 1 or 2 of them out of my hair, even if it's just a couple hours a week.

FWIW: I don't think wanting your children to be elsewhere makes you a bad mom. My mother was big on the "Outside! All of you!" command.
Do any of the churches in your town have free bible camp? I used to go to all of them and found them fun. And it didn't prevent me from becoming a lazy Pagan so if you are not in favor of organized religion they might work anyway. I just remember it as singing and crafts. Or check to see if your town has a parks division that might give scholoarships based on financial need.
Good luck.
freckleface7
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ Jun 12 2008, 02:41 AM) *
As an only child I got really comfortable with being alone. I was a little bit on the shy side as a child. I learned to appreciate my alone time,
Here is the double edged sword that I deal with: Positive: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me. Negative: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me.
So, feeling lonely as an adult isn't as bothersome to me, as being irritated by someone. I have a low tolerance for annoying people, places, and things.

ok I asked bc frecklette is an Only, something I have taken a fair amount of critism for over the years (which fell I deaf ears I might add, lol)
your line that I bolded though, really is frecklette. she is occassionally so hermit-like that she's difficult to deal with and after any 'group outing' (like a sleepover w/ friends) the mr & I both know that she's going to need some down time to re group on her own bc she has low- nil-tolerance for a lot of her kids her own age.
that so much of her childhood it's literally been she & I on our own as the mr has gone to various {Army} schools and now deployments the last few years and I Know I lean on her a lot.
like with what damona said, it's also a lot of 'just the 3 of us' when the mr Is home, a compact, mobile family unit, totally content.
my biggest fear for frecklette is for when the mr & I start to AGE, and have repeatedly told her to stick me in a Home and go live her life. that is probably my only biggest regret in relation to having "just one."

thank you both for your honest answers.

damona- I don't recall the specifics of your kids situations, but what about Kiwanis International?
they run (or used to) summer camps for kids w/ special needs. the summer I graduated hs I worked at one in IN & Loved It.
and then there are lots of relgious camps too; I went to one once called 'Camp Good News' (although to me the only "good" thing about it was that it was only 1 week long dry.gif )

anna k
damona, I have two siblings, but was always used to being alone or playing by myself. As a child, I liked to play with my dolls and stuffed animals and make up long, involved stories. I liked pretending to be a cat by crawling around or yawning with my mouth wide open like a lion. I had few close friends growing up and was always used to my own company. Even today, at 24, I still find myself alone a lot, with scattered social engagements with friends or dates or meetups.

I was shy and reserved, and hated to be hugged or kissed. I also hated loud noises and big images (fearing movie trailers and full-size posters and hating music boxes because they didn't have an off switch). I was just a weird kid.
Lady Selena
Damona fear not school has let out over here too. And I have no shame in saying that it will be a struggle to find entertainment for the summer. That doesn't make you a bad mom.

Only child here *raising hand* But i did have cousins that were more like brothers but it was nice to send them home too. So most time spent talking to adults and playing with babies. It was never an issue for me to be alone or I should say without peers. With a few close friends I was happy.

My childhood confession - I used to tie up barbie's and when my mom found them she had a fit. I always remembered to untie them when I was done.
deathaniexo
i desperately wish my partner would volunteer to do laundry, just once.
culturehandy
I'm sending my new play thing dirty texts so I can distract him while he's at work.
deschatsrouge
((((RudderlessChild)))))
humanist77
(((((Rudderless)))))
damona
((((((rudderlesschild))))))

i can understand how you feel... it seems like every time i get a cold my husband gets pneumonia, or so he claims, so i still end up doing the bulk of the work!

to everyone: thank you for not telling me i'm a bad mom for not wanting to be with my crew 24/7.

freckleface and kittenb, thank you for reminding me about church camps! there are a ton of churches in this area, i'm betting that at least half of them have at least a few days worth of vacation bible school or something. i'm not exactly christian anymore, but what the hey, the kids will have fun!

just to not totally derail things again... confession: i am running away for the night as soon as my hubby gets home. i'm going to go spend the night with a girlfriend and we can eat chocolate and watch movies and talk... or even just sit next to each other and read! it's so nice to be so totally comfortable with someone that you don't even have to do anything together to enjoy being together. her kids are at their dads so it will be total peace and quiet.
sybarite
(((rudderless child))) If you can, I say claim some time to deal w/ your own stress, other circs notwithstanding. YOu can't be helpful unless you yourself are fit, IMO.

I confess that I can't deal with hearing about so many sick family members. My dad had a scare last year and my cousin died from a really horrible type of breast cancer. My uncle is dying now. Tonight I heard the bf's dad is unwell, which could be serious. I try to be supportive but I just wish too there could be a break in all this bad news.
neurotic.nelly
Confession:

I am drunk now, and so I think I will head over to the drunk thread. Goodbye.
missladyj
(((rudderless)))


I am so fucking vain. I almost can't stand how fabulous I am.
hellotampon
QUOTE(damona @ Jun 12 2008, 08:49 AM) *
i was an only child for the first 10 years of my life. i was a little adult. read way above my grade level, never had a clue what was on beverly hills 90210 or whatever the popular show was that year, joined chess club in 3rd grade,... if i played outside it was usually by myself and i was trying to perfect a cartwheel or trying to weave a basket out of grass or something else odd. or climbing a tree with a book and an apple. even after my sis was born, she was so much younger i was more like another parent than a sibling. i think tho, that being an only helped me to buck the trends.

That sounds so much like me as a kid it's scary. My sister is only 7 years younger than me though.

confession: I just cried because it's father's day and I have so many issues with my father.
stargazer
i am feeling unbelievably lazy and hermit-like today. i just don't want to talk to anyone and read in my room.
erinjane
QUOTE(missladyj @ Jun 15 2008, 08:31 AM) *
(((rudderless)))
I am so fucking vain. I almost can't stand how fabulous I am.



Haha, I confess I laughed out loud when I read this because I think the exact same way.
mouse
i'm supposed to hang out with my exboyfriend, probably today. it's supposed to be very civil and we're going to talk about neutral subjects and pretend that shit never went down between us and he's going to pretend that he doesn't know why i didn't talk to him for a year and i'm going to pretend that it was accidental. but i'm just so tempted to ruin it by bringing things up to make him uncomfortable. i don't want to see him, the only reason i'm acquiescing is because if i don't, it'll create bad feelings where now there are neutral ones, and it's so frickin hard to not sort of make fun of him/ourselves/our past in a kind of mean way to him. i'm tempted to make him a really symbolic mix cd where every single song is a really uncomfortable to hear message. ha. i'm already being mean & cheeky in emails.
culturehandy
Erin and MissladyJ, I'm going to agree. I'm so fucking full of myself it's not even funny. I look in the mirror and think, "fuck, am I ever hot". Then as soon as thought finishes, I think how bloody vain I am.

(((((rudderless))))
kittenb
On Monday I drank two bottles of wine by myself to celebrate. When I woke the next morning, my computer was on the "Inibriated Ramblings" page here on Bust. I have no idea what I was going to post but I am really glad that I passed out first. rolleyes.gif
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(missladyj @ Jun 15 2008, 01:31 PM) *
(((rudderless)))
I am so fucking vain. I almost can't stand how fabulous I am.


Me too, and I'm fucking hilarious.
mouse
shit, i wish i had y'all busties self-confidence problems wink.gif i'm pretty much constantly second-guessing myself.

hung out with the ex. i confess that i am meanly glad that he looked older & fatter than i recalled, and has a bad haircut. HAH.
missladyj
right on ladies!! We should start a We are Fucking Fabulous Club!

Hey know what else is so awesome about me? How modest I am. Really Really modest.

Hubby and I went out for dinner for our anniversary ( I was lookin smokin hot) and two straight women confessed to hubby that I was so hot it made them considering becoming lesbians. I'm so hot I could turn a straight woman queer.

I rule.


and mouse, you are the shit. Don't ever forget that.
zoya
I would never ever want to come between friends, but I'm secretly kind of happy that a certain guy's best friend seemed a little peeved when I told him about my relationship with that certain guy, and the way certain guy had acted, that best friend never knew about. I don't know if he was really peeved, but just the fact that it seemed that way, made me feel a little vindicated.

kittenb
I just bought something that I really can't afford.
stargazer
confession: i'm craving these veggie chili cheese fries from the pick me up cafe back in chicago.

confession: add me to the list of busties who think rather highly of herself. i may not have the figure of a model, but i think i look kinda good naked and i prefer to be naked. screw jammies.
lilacwine13
I wish I could think highly of myself too, second-guessing and doubting my abilities are two things I do a lot. Occasionally I have bouts of fabulitis, especially if I'm wearing the right skirt and high heels. Sometimes big calves are an asset. wink.gif

Confession: I still want to fuck one of my coworkers. And I'm happy that the crew I was assigned this week has him on it. Now, if I could figure out an excuse to wear 4" heels and a skirt out to an excavation site, I'd be set.
konphusion26
QUOTE(stargazer @ Jun 16 2008, 10:03 PM) *
confession: add me to the list of busties who think rather highly of herself. i may not have the figure of a model, but i think i look kinda good naked and i prefer to be naked. screw jammies.


Definitely have to agree here! I feel my most beautiful and most sexy/vixen-ish when I am naked. I often find myself standing in front of the mirror after showers and say "you are a sexy beast LOL". I think my husband is immune to my nekkidness now because I walk around that way so much.

Rock on fabu-busties!
zoya
I have been smoking and I don't care. (I'm not a smoker)

auralpoison
I have also been smoking off & on. I quit when my dad died seven years ago, but have picked up the filthy habit again. And I like it.

I am really attracted to somebody that I shouldn't be. Not because I'm not single, but because it's inappropriate. Maybe not inappropriate . . . maybe just new & unexpected. I like to think I know my mind, but she's a fickle bitch. And this morning she can think of nothing but this person & she's smiling like a moron about it.

I've been avoiding W. I don't want to hurt him. I don't. But I can't keep going like this. He's a good man, but when I'm with him it just drives home the point that I don't belong here.
konphusion26
Been feeling like I'm going thru the motions in life, my spirituality, and just everything.

I host self pity parties about once a week.

I wish I could drag my father by his ear to the nearest VA hospital to get him some help because he will not go on his own. That way my mother could live a peaceful life and not worry whether she will find this fool dead in her house from a failed liver and kidneys from one of his drinking binges.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children scares me to death. But secretly I want a baby. Just cannot afford to even think about having one in the near future.
zoya
I want a baby.... I just won't do it without being in a relationship, and in that area I am failing more than spectacularly at even getting in one. ... and I probably have 3 -4 years left where I can even conceive one. yep. great.
sybarite
I don't smoke much, but I do smoke most days, and if wine is involved... yikes. I confess I'm not even considering quitting until I finish the thesis.

Zoya, you're not failing at anything. I understand it's a cliche, but waiting for the right person for you is worthwhile. It'll happen.
Moonpieluv
I want to roll around on the ground in a crying whining fit of self pity and then buy myself chunky funky jewerly I can't afford.

I fear I may not be all that interesting of a person cause I don't seem to have any hobbies that stick (a.k.a Ima feeling a bit insecure these days) and I can't make up my mind as to what I wanna be when I grow up.

I really just want a marguarita with salt whilst watching the waves in the marina instead of overhearing Mr. Luv playin some shoot em up sci fi computer game.
Moonpieluv
POOP!! Double Post....derr....
mouse
my least favorite coworker quit today. she had only been working there a month or two. i talked shit about her skill level and dress. i feel guilty now and feel like i somehow drove her to quit, even though i was only helpful and personable to her face (and she REALLY didn't know the programs and REALLY dressed inappropriately for an office). i still feel guilty and like it was my fault.

i never was the cool kid ever, anywhere, but at this job i've somehow sort of become a cool kid, and with it comes a lot of shit-talking. when it's merited, i will shit-talk with the best of them, but ultimately i try to be diplomatic and not be bitchy just for bitchiness' sake. i will bitch about things that people can change, or things that people are slacking off about, but i try not to condemn someone for their personality as long as their personality is not intentionally mean or dangerously ignorant/bigoted.


sometimes, though, it's hard to avoid at least laughing at other people's accurate-but-cruel comments, and later i feel really guilty.
crazyoldcatlady
* after seeing iron man this weekend, i've decided i would eat a rack of lamb out of robert downey jr's ass. he is that hot.

* okay, so i reneg. i do want to get married. but still, an absolute NO on the kids.

* i am HAPPY today, even though i had to stay at work late AND i have more to do tonight!
zoya
... I was always ambivalent about having kids - I could go either way, no big deal - until I thought about the fact that I've been lucky enough to get exactly where I wanted to in my career, do pretty much everything I wanted to do, decided It was time to move on, and I'm now doing that, in a place i wanted to be. Then all of a sudden I wasn't so ambivalent. I'm in the perfect position (sans relationship) to have a kid and never feel like I missed anything. And now I totally want to do it.

weird. I never really had a reason to have one before. Now I do.
freckleface7
confession: as extreme no-more-kids as I am/have been, in the last days, thinking there was a slim but legit possibility I was preggo again (I'm not, it really is just an ass-sucking virus that's making me really ill) I found myself thinking ' well that would be ok then; I've always been the first one to say that Babies come on Their Time, not ours' and then was feeling like a total hypocrit against being so adamantly no-more.
... and then I realised.... on the chance I Had Been.. I never wanted to put out any feelings of unwantedness to the would-be en utero, and have forgiven myself.

crazi uber complicated but essentially, good. I can allow and acknowledge being a genuinely good person sometimes. - why am I so damn hard on myself all the time?


slightly sorta O/T here: do you all remember me posting about icky creepy neighbor guy that hit on me when the mr was deployed awhile back?
well, as tragic as this is bc I truly believe it to be an accident ( & I do have a heart & feel bad for his family, just maybe not enough to contribute to his legal defense fund) I really believe karma is saying something loud & clear here:

http://www.wtop.com/?nid=104&sid=1422100
he was the 18 wheel driver.
mouse
i just sent a text that could be interpreted as a bit of a come-on to a boy that i'm not supposed to have a crush on anymore. partially nonintentional, partially slightly tipsy.
damona
freck, wow. that's just too weird about neighbor guy.

confession: i will be glad next week when the mr's job ends. i should be upset and worried, etc, cuz we will have no $$$ for weeks, but i just don't care. i'm so glad he will be here for a week or two, so i'm not stuck alone with the kids the whole entire summer.
doodlebug
confession: I haven't cried in over a year, but yesterday morning in the hospital, I was so frustrated with being back there and also from dealing with stupid shit (like my IV being in the crook of my elbow so that every time I moved my arm, it stopped and beeped and woke me up; and being unable to dress myself, trying to get that stupid gown on around my IV; and having the nurse move my IV to a very painful place on the inside of my wrist; and throwing up and having chills and a fever; plus it was about eight million degrees in my room) that I wept buckets and buckets and just kept saying, "I want to go hoooooome"....

confession: when the ER nurse (a male) ask me if I had any issues with my poop, I had to confess that I did but that it was probably brought on by a large amount of anal sex. *blushes furiously*

confession: when the CT tech asked me if there was any chance I could be pregnant, I said no....even though I just had massive amounts of sex the few days beforehand! Because I knew that even if I was pregnant, I wouldn't be having it....but a good number of medical personal in a town like this are anti-choice, and I wanted my CT scan, so I lied.
freckleface7
(((((((((doodle))))))))))) wish I could give you some flowers and make you smile.
deschatsrouge
((((Doodle)))))
Moonpieluv
((doodle))

((freckle)) I am entirely too hard on myself. I analyse things until they become convoluted and pulsating on the ground like a melted gremlin.

I wish I could just breathe and let go and find my flow again. I fell off the buggie and haven't been listening to the almighty universe. If I could just find that flow again... how easily life can seem unable to navigate if you let it.
I make things way too complicated, when all I wish for is a certain simplicity.
crazyoldcatlady
*ooooooh weeeee.... guuuuueeessss planned parenthood is gettin' a big 'ole fat check this week.

*i have had so much diet coke today and i am shaking. do you know exactly *how* much diet coke is needed to give the shakes to an addict? i think i'm pissing aspartame.
deschatsrouge
I have a fake baby because John Waters has a fake baby.
neurotic.nelly
my bf would rather me not be on bust. ever! he is a total feminist, he loves and respects women and women love him. he values the strength of a woman, and respects pro-choice but he hates bust. *shruggs shoulders*

he makes fun of me everytime I am on bust, and I feel like I have to hide it from him.

i am to the point where i don't care if he makes fun of me, but it's just a ridiculous situation. we live in a studio with one computer. i've stayed late after work just to be able to get a few posts out in peace.
konphusion26
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ Jun 24 2008, 08:16 PM) *
my bf would rather me not be on bust. ever! he is a total feminist, he loves and respects women and women love him. he values the strength of a woman, and respects pro-choice but he hates bust. *shruggs shoulders*

he makes fun of me everytime I am on bust, and I feel like I have to hide it from him.

i am to the point where i don't care if he makes fun of me, but it's just a ridiculous situation. we live in a studio with one computer. i've stayed late after work just to be able to get a few posts out in peace.

Nelly, my dear, your guy isn't the only one that raises a stink when you're on bust! My husband actually speaks of bust as if i'm having an affair with it LOL I don't get it! Maybe I spend more time posting on bust than spending time with him. I don't see it that way though. Guys just dont understand!
culturehandy
I don't know who to believe.
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