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lilacwine13
AZ Guy really doesn't get why I'm on bust either. He thinks I'm weird for talking to people online.
deschatsrouge
I try to get Mrs. Rouge on Bust but she doesn't want to.
deathaniexo
confession: my best friend posts on a different message board. recently one of her friends hooked up with the boy she liked while at a festival and she will not stand up for herself because of what would be said on the boards. maybe because i'm a newbie i don't understand, but i wanna smack the crap out of her.
neurotic.nelly
Glad to know I am not alone. wink.gif
doodlebug
I keep the Lounge very well hidden from most people in my "real" life. Only a couple of trusted people (my mom and my best friend) really know about my participation here, and only then so they can tell everyone if anything ever happens to me. laugh.gif
zoya
I'm the same - totally hidden from real life people. I know a few busties IRL and if anything happened to me, they'd know who to get a hold of and would post...


my confession for the day - the busy social life I was having for awhile has slowed down and now that there aren't any parties or shows or planned events, I'm afraid that my new friends in this new city won't include me in just regular old get togethers. Even though one IMed me last weekend just to meet up for coffee that afternoon. I'm afraid that my new friends don't really like me that much.

corrollary to that confession - clearly my fear of abandonment issues are coming up.... tongue.gif
freckleface7
I refer to bust as 'that feminist board/site I post at.' which tends to create a vocal circle of <funy looks > & 'ohhh. ' + change of subject.
it amazes me how uncomfortable people still are with That Word. ( I know, fodder for the F Word thread! tongue.gif )


I confess: I now owe the public library over $100** "in donations" for 4 books that have been sitting on my front door etage for several months now. they don't even call & harrass me anymore.
bad freckle!! mad.gif

I also confess: after my first thereapy session today (yah me!) I went out & bought (on the Club Targe't card) myself the Garmin Nuvi 200 I've been coveting for several months now. one of my phobia's is a severe fear of getting lost going places, so I sort of justify it as 'self help therapy' which actually makes sense.
the mr didn't even bat an eye this time.
sybarite
I refer to bust as 'that feminist board' to my mister freckle. I've told family and the mister about meeting people from bust, aka 'that site I go to' and mention that I post here, but I'd never give them the URL. When I first started posting here years ago I would talk about intensely personal stuff and I guess I still need to feel I could post a 'letter I'd never send' in relative privacy from RL people.

I thought my sister would think it was weird to meet up with people I met online when I told her about it, but she thought it was cool. smile.gif
doodlebug
Confession: I own seventeen lipsticks. I just counted them, after I brought another one home this afternoon. (Rimmel's Almond Macaroon.) All those stupid makeup artists who say you only need 2 or 3 colours and a lip brush to blend them must have way too much time on their hands, and too many bags on their shoulders to carry all the extra crap around with them. Lipstick tube + pocket is all I want to have to manage out in the world. tongue.gif
freckleface7
QUOTE(doodlebug @ Jun 25 2008, 05:40 PM) *
Confession: I own seventeen lipsticks. I just counted them, after I brought another one home this afternoon. (Rimmel's Almond Macaroon.) All those stupid makeup artists who say you only need 2 or 3 colours and a lip brush to blend them must have way too much time on their hands, and too many bags on their shoulders to carry all the extra crap around with them. Lipstick tube + pocket is all I want to have to manage out in the world. tongue.gif

only 17 doodle? blink.gif
you've made me want to go and count now.
once, at a meeting that was pretty much over, a friend called me out on it and made me dump my purse & I think I had 11 w/ me right at that moment. rolleyes.gif

- does it count if well over 1/2 are shades I bought my mistake & don't wear?
( I am damned & determined to find the right brown-based shade of red that doesn't look hideous on me.)

syb- your avatar: molly ringwald is going to be in a new show coming up, called 'the secret life of a teenage girl' and is playing the Mom of a teen who apparently gets pregnant.
just the other day I saw a re-play of 'For Keeps' with her.

where does the time go?
stargazer
(((zoya)))

as for the bust thing, i usually tell people my busties friends i met through a feminist networking site. i get to keep my anonymity without revealing i'm on the bust boards. i guess i don't know what the big deal is about meeting people from bust. i mean, people date online so making friends online seems natural to me.

confession: the past couple of weeks, my insecurity and self doubts have been affecting me. and i try to stay centered and not focused on the end result or what i don't have. but it is a struggle i tell you. i wish i had more faith in myself.
zoya
oh I don't care about meeting friends online, I just don't want anyone IRL to be able to figure out where I post. I like the anonymity and being able to vent about things, etc. It's my safe haven! I wouldn't want anyone I know IRL or anyone who just kinda knows me to read it, knowing it was me, (and if they knew me it wouldn't be that difficult to figure out who I am)

auralpoison
I own the boots in the Fluevog ad at the top of the Lounge. And they are hot!

And, yeah, Zoya, I keep Bust like top secret, too. I know I've already divulged too much info that it wouldn't take but a trice to figure it out.
Moonpieluv
((Stargazer))
confession: the past couple of weeks, my insecurity and self doubts have been affecting me. and i try to stay centered and not focused on the end result or what i don't have. but it is a struggle i tell you. i wish i had more faith in myself.
[/quote]

I second that confession.

Also, I confess that I am scared Mr. Luv will drop me because I've been having said issues. I mean, how attractive is it that I'm being SO HARD on myself about EVERYTHING... He says that scenario is just baloney... that I would have to do something absolutely unforgivable for him to do such a thing. that my personal struggle right now is something he knows will ultimately wane. I think it's because I uprooted myself entirely to come live with him in this new city... and I get fears that it will all drop from under my feet... and I'm broke, not working yet, and ALONE (save for him) here. He says not to worry..that he will take care of me...
Fear of Abandonment much? ((Zoya))
bunnyb
The boy and one close friend know about my life in the lounge (and have met or know about the friends I have made here) but nobody else; I have recommended a couple of threads on the board to a select few but they are unaware of my involvement -or the extent of it- here. I trust those who do know not to spy on me or invade my privacy as I respect their privacy by not posting about them. The boy likes to tease me about the lounge but he teases me about social networking sites too as he isn't into anything like that.

I cannot seem to let go of the emotional baggage surrounding a friendship which ended acrimoniously two and a half years ago. I should have moved on and still not be as angry and bitter as I am but I feel so much resentment and bottled up hurt against my ex friend. I hate how she tries to ingratiate herself with the boy's sis and her bf who she only met a few times and who I introduced her to. It really bugs me that they have anything to do with her as she was really nasty to me. I should really get over it; I'll have a bond and lifetime connection with them that she never will. Although I suppose there are people that we will never forgive or forget and who even when we are old and wrinkly we harbour some lingering ill-feeling about, right?

As for fear of abandonment: I don't get why the boy loves me and even though we have been together for five and a half years, are moving in together in a few months (in a new city) and talk about marriage all the time, I think he'll wake up one day and not love me anymore because I'm not a lovable person.

Oh yeah and I'm scared shitless about finding a job (fear of failure and of rejection) and moving to London. I am also incredibly cut up that I will need to leave my cat Mandoo with my family sad.gif.
damona
QUOTE(bunnyb @ Jun 27 2008, 05:31 PM) *


As for fear of abandonment: I don't get why the boy loves me and even though we have been together for five and a half years, are moving in together in a few months (in a new city) and talk about marriage all the time, I think he'll wake up one day and not love me anymore because I'm not a lovable person.


my husband and i have been together almost 12 years, married almost 8, and i still fear that he will someday wake up and look at me and think "god, why did i waste my time?" sometimes i let the paranoia really get to me and there are days he must regret having cell phones cuz i will freak out if he's late or something, but mostly i have a handle on myself now.

today was a bad day tho, and he's out with friends and even tho i still have a headache i am still online cuz i am too freaked out to be here alone. how stupid is that? i'm a grown woman, a mother, and i'm scared to be home alone without my husband. i feel like an ass.
freckleface7
confession: 9 days to go and I do not know how much more I can take.
vacant. empty. rent.
siiiigh.

I confess that sometimes when I am shopping, I will take forever to pick something out, carry it around the store w/ me awhile, and then at the last second decide I don't want it after all and just abandone it somewhere totally not where it belongs.
I've worked retail better & know better.
zoya
I secretly want the guy who I randomly hooked up with to call like he said he would and take me to dinner. Even thought I was pretty ambivalent about it with him. Not so much because I want anything with him - cause I don't - mainly because I just wanna see a guy take a risk for once.


I secretly really like this other guy who is 16 years younger than me. He's really nice but the age thing kinda weirds me out. I don't typically care about age, but that's a big difference. I have no idea how to even try that one on. I don't think he'd even remotely think I'm interested in him. (or if he would even be interested in me other than as a friend - specially since we already run in the same circle)
stargazer
confession: the sound of my landlady's voice is very similar to nails on the chalkboard for me. argh. there is more but i lack the energy to vent about her. i have only 2 months left here, i only have 2 months left here.......
lananans
bunnyb -- are you moving to London as in England, or London as in Ontario? I am also moving in with my boyfriend in September, in London Ontario, where he got into med school, and I confess I am kind of nervous about moving to a new place where I don't know anyone, and actually living together for the first time.

I'm confident we'll be fine, I just expect it to take some getting used to.

In response to earlier posts, my boyfriend is the only one who knows that I post here... I have some other friends who maybe are a little too judgemental and they wouldn't understand.
bunnyb
lananans, London, England! I saw your facebook status recently and meant to ask you about it as thought it was the same one and thought it was quite drastic!

I have had contact about two jobs today and whereas one probably won't come to fruition because I can't meet for interviews next week and the other is for work experience only (although it would help lots), my confidence is boosted and I feel like this could all actually happen.
lananans
congrats! i hope the job stuff works out... London Ontario isn't too drastic from here... only 2.5 hours, haha.

confession -- this morning I wanted to take my oar and hit my rowing partner with it. she was OBNOXIOUS.
lilacwine13
I want to get a dog.

Never mind that now is not the best time to bring something furry and dependent into my life, but today I was thinking about stuff and realized that I want something that is loyal and loving in my life, even though pets are a lot of work and it would be a hassle for finding a place to live.
neurotic.nelly
I, also, want a dog. I adore dogs, and have never had one. Loyal and loving - yes... the right kind of dog is necessary - for your personality. Everytime I see a grey pit bull, mix or full breed, I get so jealous. I want one so bad, a grey and white spotted pit with gray eyes. I am so upset that I cannot have one right now at this very moment at my feet, full from food and love, sleeping and content. wub.gif
zoya
I too, want a dog. a big one. I really want a bull mastiff... but I'd also like a boxer, which might be a bit more manageable...

I want a boyfriend. There, I said it. I do just fine on my own, I have a great life, great friends, etc. But I want a boyfriend. I want someone to just watch movies with, and be my best pal, someone who - well, I just want a boyfriend. It's been over 4 years since I was in a relationship, and I've grown so much since then - I'm totally ready.
deschatsrouge
Yeah, me too...a dog... or two, one large main dog named Backup and one small backup dog named Maine.
pollystyrene
QUOTE(deschatsrouge @ Jul 7 2008, 12:07 AM) *
Yeah, me too...a dog... or two, one large main dog named Backup....


Aww, just like Veronica Mars! It is a great name for a big dog.
zoya
I wanna call my dog Judas. I dunno why, but i just love that name for a dog...
culturehandy
My mother is talking to me like I'm listening. I'm not.
freckleface7
confession: I am not one of those 'pretty girls' when I cry.
it's ugly & gutteral and snot oozes down my sniffly nose & big fat raindrop size tears pour and even squirt out of my eyes.

confession: I am starting to think I do not sound 'sick enough' on the phone to get the various dr's attentions to get them to write me a prescription for meds right now. - what is it going to take- me telling them I am suicidal? (I'm not - let me be clear about that- just incredibly stressed out to the very highest level- see above as partial result and symptom of the dr's not calling back, what a viscous circle.)
deschatsrouge
I hate other Gay people.
neurotic.nelly
I LOVE gay girls, always have and always will...! wub.gif

(I love gay guys too) (but I love gay girls more)

ETA: I erased the first sentence of this post because it didn't really make sense. heh.
konphusion26
I confess that most of the time (recently) I have a funky azz attitude. And I secretly like it. I have a bad temper. I have vivid dreams of fighting and cussing people out regularly. In reality, I would never do either of those things. But boy do I enjoy it in the dreams. LOL
Moonpieluv
I confess that I horribly procrastinate and walk about the house sighing.. knowing that there are things I could do.. and don't or can't figure out what to do first... or just get cracking on something!

I confess that I use the excuse to not prune and dig up and replant stuff in the yard on Mr. Luv not mowing the grass more regularly. I get all weirded out that with high grass comes snakes, and I don't want to have to move about the yard with this in mind. I have offered to mow, too.

I confess that even at this age, I still haven't found a hobby that makes me happy and keeps me entertained on a regular basis. I'm a wee bit envious of those that plug away at crafts and art and whatnot, while I seemingly sit here and twiddle my thumbs.
erinjane
I confess, I'm very smug about the fact that I had a job in my field before I even graduated university. And now I'm even more smug because so far I LOVE this job. biggrin.gif
girltrouble
QUOTE
I wanna call my dog Judas. I dunno why, but i just love that name for a dog...

omg, zoya, that is a GREAT name for a dog. my fave celeb dog name is meaty. he's a bulldog on some mtv show... i like backup too.

my favorite dogpark dog name is brian. the funny thing is, "brian is a handful," so everybody talks about him like he's a person. "brian is seems depressed today." "brian looks really happy." "uh oh. brian's had his espresso this morning." "brian, you can't go that way." "brian is being a real jerk." lol...

if the puppy monster was mine, that'd be her real name(it's really bella). she loves people so she'll run up to people like she's gonna swallow them whole but then just sniffs and licks them. she honestly doesn't get why anyone would be escared of her... (she's so sweet!)


********************
QUOTE
I hate other Gay people.

deschat, i know what you mean. many gay guys i've met are super misogynistic, and i cannot abide that sort of stupidity.

as a general rule, i hate drag queens i can think of 3 i like in this city, the others are dumb asses, or bitches and many of them look down their noses at t-girls.

i also have a hard time with other t-girls. it's not jealousy, i give props t-girls that are cuter than me, or have their shit together. but the egos... whoo, and super catty. i have a super sharp tounge, it's taken me years to restrain. if you think it's bad round here, irl, if someone really gets on my nerves, i will cut them to the quick. so t-girls flipping me shit, is something i have a low tolerence for. when i first transitioned there was one trans "support" organization that was super racist, and lots of the trannys loved going off on black t-girls, and had i stuck around there, it would have got real, real ugly real quick. so to me, t-girls aren't always the healthiest environment for me, my blood boils quicker with trannies than any other group.
damona
i want to have my dog back. i miss my dakota. at least i know he's healthy and relatively happy at my mom's.

i hate living here for 2 reasons. 1) no a/c, which i've bitched about on here before and 2) these goddam inspections. i feel like a teenager, trying to clean her room to mom's standards. except it's not mom, it's the government, and they will toss us out if this place isn't lickably clean by 8am tomorrow. so why am i online? cuz if i stand there folding laundry any longer my hip is going to collapse. i hate inspections. if i wanted to be inspected i'd have joined the friggin' army.
neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(neurotic.nelly @ Jul 8 2008, 11:17 PM) *
I LOVE gay girls, always have and always will...! wub.gif

(I love gay guys too) (but I love gay girls more)

ETA: I erased the first sentence of this post because it didn't really make sense. heh.

I want to qualify this statement a bit more. I wrote this after watching The Ten Rules: the lesbian's guide to dating on youtube, and CherryBomb, a new lesbian talk show. My insides were all warm and fuzzy for gay girls.

I'm bi.

I think I am getting a small girl crush on one of my coworkers. She is the bees knees.
girltrouble
where is the cherrybomb seen at?
neurotic.nelly
Cherrybomb
lilacwine13
My dream dog is an Irish Wolfhound; I'd name it Guinness.

Confession: Last night I plied one of my coworkers with drinks to go back to his room to have loud, drunken, stoned portions. It was the first time I've gotten high since last year and the first guy I've slept with who isn't AZ Guy in five years. A bit of a one night stand, but it was fun. I'm a bit concerned I came across as a total flake, but I doubt I'll see this guy again, so I'm not worried.
neurotic.nelly
I just saw a painter outside with those beige painters overalls on. and then I had a flashback. Of myself, as a college student. I used to wear those exact same overalls, with big brown boots and a paddington bear hat. WTF? was I thinking. And I used to wonder why I had no dates! I really didn't give an F-! Fashion be damned.

eta: my hat was brown, i think the real paddi hat was blue, right? anyway those were lonely days, thank god it was a phase. blink.gif
culturehandy
When some people are intimidated by me, sometimes I play it up. and enjoy it.

that's pretty shitty of me.
likeanyother
I just looked up how many calories are in bubble tea and, even though it is waaaay more than I had thought, I'm going to get one when I get out of work anyway! Woowoo bubble goodness....
freckleface7
oh my maud CH, sometimes (if they have bad attitudes or are mean to other people) I do that too- get real cat & mouse- like with them, just to fuck with them bc I CAN.
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Jul 16 2008, 10:23 PM) *
When some people are intimidated by me, sometimes I play it up. and enjoy it.

that's pretty shitty of me.

confession: my name is freckle and I am willingly nurturing an xbox live addiction to UNO.
I know it's becoming a habit ,and I don't care.
( I wish it were a cooler game, but uno is about my (grandma-ish) speed.)
thirtiesgirl
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Jul 9 2008, 04:40 PM) *
deschat, i know what you mean. many gay guys i've met are super misogynistic, and i cannot abide that sort of stupidity.

I just read this and I hate to say it, but I have so found this to be true. Ever since I moved to LA and met more gay men than I did growing up in my small hometown, I have sadly discovered that many gay guys are just as misogynistic as some straight guys. Perhaps it was narrow-minded and stereotypical of me to think that they wouldn't be, but I actually had a falling out with some gay guy friends a few years ago over this very issue. I couldn't believe how insensitive they were.

Now, since we're all in a confessional mode here, and I was talking about gay guys, I was reminded of something that I rarely admit to people, especially when I'm first getting to know them. For all my indie music street cred that I'd like to pretend I have, I happen to own Lisa Stansfield's first cd and I love it. As if that wasn't damning enough, I also won a "dress like a rock star" contest at the record store where I worked in college by dressing like Lisa Stansfield. I had the short hair at the time, and a pair of straight black jeans and black Doc oxfords, so all I needed to do was find a big floppy hat and borrow a guy's black coat jacket and I had it made. I even used some eyeliner to make her little beauty mark on her cheek. ...Sick and sad, but true.
treehugger
Confession: I have the serious, loins-aching, jeans-creaming hots for one of my co-workers.

He is married.

I still have the hots for him. wub.gif
damona
i have been awake since 11am, sunday. and i'm not tired. i had an hour or so catnap monday afternoon. that's it. i'm wide-the-fuck-awake. i don't get it.
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(Moonpieluv @ Jul 9 2008, 03:53 PM) *
I confess that I horribly procrastinate and walk about the house sighing.. knowing that there are things I could do.. and don't or can't figure out what to do first... or just get cracking on something!

I confess that I use the excuse to not prune and dig up and replant stuff in the yard on Mr. Luv not mowing the grass more regularly. I get all weirded out that with high grass comes snakes, and I don't want to have to move about the yard with this in mind. I have offered to mow, too.

I confess that even at this age, I still haven't found a hobby that makes me happy and keeps me entertained on a regular basis. I'm a wee bit envious of those that plug away at crafts and art and whatnot, while I seemingly sit here and twiddle my thumbs.


I confess that Moonpieluv and I were separated at birth.

I too have been procrastinating about cleaning my kitchen. Dishes pile up and start to smell up the kitchen but I don't care. Mr. Pugs doesn't do them so if I have to I'll do it when I'm good and motivated. Now leave me alone about it.

I confess that I'm going to order a $13 simple wedding planner from Amazon and then remind Mr. Pugs that he just spent $350 on a new iPod so he can't be angry even though I found the book before I knew about the new iPod.

I confess that I too don't have a hobby. I've crocheted, cross stitched, painted and wrote poetry but I never do any of it consistently. I am the queen of unfinished projects and I don't care.

I confess that I hate my friends little four year old daughter. Hate her!! She's a terrible, horrible brat and I despise seeing her. I don't like my friend much either when it comes to her or her husbands parenting skills. They are terrible, lazy, clueless parents and.....they have another baby on the way.

I confess that I hate the intern sitting to my right. She's an asshole. I want to beat her up like in grade school.

I confess that I'm pretty moody today. Just not feeling all too happy. Just want to sneer at everyone who passes me. Uuugggghhh *raspberry*

I confess that I've never really posted in the Confessions thread before and I really like it and might have to start making this a daily post.



pollystyrene
QUOTE(LoveMyPugs @ Jul 22 2008, 07:34 AM) *
I too have been procrastinating about cleaning my kitchen. Dishes pile up and start to smell up the kitchen but I don't care. Mr. Pugs doesn't do them so if I have to I'll do it when I'm good and motivated. Now leave me alone about it.


Ditto here. LeBoy does the dishes, but the cleaning of the rest of the kitchen is my job and it's getting icky. All of my spices are on the counter instead of in the cabinet. My stovetop has a ton of burnt-on gunk. The floors are icky. My refrigerator needs to be cleaned. Nothing growing, but the jar of jalapenos tipped over awhile ago and all the juice leaked out. For anyone who knows me IRL who's reading this, I *always* clean the surface I'm preparing food on, though. I may be a slob, but I'm not unhygienic.

In the past few weeks, there's been 6-8 nights where I forget to take my bc pill. I've been on it for 10 years and prior to this, I think I'd missed that many in the whole 10 years. I think sub-consciously, I really want to go off them. I may stop after I finish this month, but then what? Hello libido, but hello irregular periods and miserable cramps, and cod knows what else. unsure.gif
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