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girltrouble
confession:my teeth have been hurting all day. i should go in to get them looked at, but i'd almost rather my teeth rotted out of my head that see a dentist. i HATE dentists.

confession: it's not waiting for unemployment that's got me depressed this week, it's what to do with it. in the last month it's like every career i ever wanted to pursue, that i thought i could really love and do for the rest of my life has been rubbed in my face. friends who showed no interest in certain careers i daydreamed about have had the careers i would have killed for, handed to them with almost no effort, and i know sooner or later i am going to have to look for a job doing something that will not make my heart sing because i'm such a fucking slave to trying to deal with this transition.

i fucking hate that i can't do anything, i can't travel, i can't save i can't do anything but do what will get me 2 millimeters further in this fucking marathon.
missladyj
If I want to stay positive, that will mean not talking to a lot of people. If this makes me a bitch then I don't care.

I left the ball in his court. He dropped it. Oh well.
archegonia
confession:

i have an overwhleming and irrational fear that my son will develop autism. i'm so drowned in fear that i'm in tears right now simply because i was reading some prevention material. i'm so scared that when the word comes up i crumble.

and then i become scared that my fears and negative thoughts will make it manifest. and now i'm caught in a spiral.
deschatsrouge
I love making fun of Mrs. Rouge.
zoya
I'm honestly so incredibly insecure. People would never guess so... Unless I've been friends with someone for an exceptionally long time, or they do things to "prove" they're in it for the long haul with me, I constantly wait for the other shoe to drop and for them to just decide I suck and to drop me as a friend. I think they'll see right through me and think that I'm a piece of shit and that I suck and they will just dump me. The thing is, intellectually I know that I'm a good, interesting person who is worth being friends with. - I'm just realizing that some things in the mind / heart / soul are so deep seeded that it's really hard to truly believe that's true.
thirtiesgirl
QUOTE(archegonia @ Aug 28 2008, 10:52 AM) *
confession:

i have an overwhleming and irrational fear that my son will develop autism. i'm so drowned in fear that i'm in tears right now simply because i was reading some prevention material. i'm so scared that when the word comes up i crumble.

and then i become scared that my fears and negative thoughts will make it manifest. and now i'm caught in a spiral.

Hugs, archegonia. It's a scary thing. I work with the special ed population at the school where I work and have heard stories from many parents about how scary it was for them when they found out their child was diagnosed with autism. Our school psychologist's son was diagnosed with it when he was 3 years old, which completely threw her for a loop and took her a while to deal with. She has him in a daycare program that is specific for autistic children now, and after daycare, he goes to a special center for a few hours with specialists who are trained to work with autistic children, teach them social skills, motor skills, etc. The service is free to her because it's a state program. I'm sure they have similar programs in many states & cities. You can find more info here.

While autism usually isn't diagnosed until a child is 2 or 3 years old, there are lots of internet articles out there, like this one and this one that discuss possible early signs of autism, or can maybe help you rule it out.
mouse
archegonia--don't worry. first of all, autism has become the basket term for the 2000's, the same way ADD was in the 90's...i.e., much more hype than real possibility. my mom (who is a curative education teacher and has had several autistic students) and i were talking about this the other day about these ads:




which make it seem like any child could develop autism at any moment. NOT TRUE. the question of autism "developing" AFTER birth is highly, highly controversial (and usually linked to things like botched vaccinations). you're born with it. it doesn't sneak up on you if you didn't have it previously.

now. not only are the chances much lower than you think they are--even if he does? he still has the chance at an incredibly rich life. my mother's students learn beowulf, garden, perform shakespeare plays, go horseback riding, play musical instruments. to each their ability, of course, but honestly *i'm* jealous of their lives. even if your kid does have a disability, it doesn't mean he'll have any less of a human experience. go read some oliver sacks essays about people with autism and then rethink your position.

((((archegonia))))
kegom
I have hust eneterd into business with friends and it scares the hell out of me. I am scared that I might not be able to make it a sucess, that they will work hard and bring in the money and I wont be able to. But I know I can
damona
QUOTE(archegonia @ Aug 28 2008, 12:52 PM) *
confession:

i have an overwhleming and irrational fear that my son will develop autism. i'm so drowned in fear that i'm in tears right now simply because i was reading some prevention material. i'm so scared that when the word comes up i crumble.

and then i become scared that my fears and negative thoughts will make it manifest. and now i'm caught in a spiral.


(((((((archegonia))))))

YOU CANNOT CAUSE AUTISM IN YOUR CHILD.

now that i have that said... i am a mom of 4 boys, 2 of whom happen to be on the autistic spectrum. when i first got the diagnoses, i thought that life was over, not only for my boys, but for me. news flash: life goes on, just like it did before you had a name to put to a disorder. i don't mean to sound nasty, i really don't, but you need to calm down.

if you are concerned that your child is showing signs of autism, contact your county health department (assuming you are in the us... if you aren't, i don't know what to tell you, i'm sorry.) ask them if they have someone that can do an assessment on your kiddo. that is the best place to start. you can ask your family physician, but a lot of times they brush stuff off as "oh, he's just a boy". if you are genuinely concerned, start at the health department, or ask at your local WIC office. look in the yellow pages for #'s.

if you want to ask more questions, you can pm me, i have been working with this for about 5 years now. but for now, try to calm down and stop worrying!


oh, and, in keeping with the thread...
confession: i am hooked on that damn myspace mobsters game!
girltrouble
confession: when i read about some of the things busties are going thru, and i read about the help and advise they give each other, well i just think busties are the besties, and i love you fiercely. and i get terribly ashamed of the many occasions when i've behaved like a jackass.

i'm sorry to all the busties i've called names or talked shit to. i'll try so hard to do better. honestly, i do love you all.
freckleface7
confession: tho not a secret by any means, I heart gt. bc of her huge ass heart. you're just the bestest & I wish I could make you look in the mirror and repeat that at yourself till you knew it as much as all of us here.

confession: I'm a big fat hypocrit bc while I shop there out of location neccessity - I really despise most of my fellow shoppers at wal mart ! ohmy.gif they're SO Rude! move your damn cart from blocking the isle. try saying Excuse Me once in awhile. a little common courtesy for womankind can go a Long way.

confession: I have been going out of the house less than sparklingly 'kempt lately;
yesterday it was in a shirt that had a faint spot on it (that I pretended I hadn't seen yet), today it was w/ hair that needs to be washed & old jeans & chucks & my Stones t shirt (that makes my boobs look fabulous dontcha know).
I know I should care but- I don't!
culturehandy
Confession: I'm punishing him when he hasn't done anything wrong. I've convinced myself of it. The reason is so I can get over my own self induced heart break and get on with things already.
Queen Bull
confession: i use apathy to disguise my essence.

confession: i havent been faithful to anyone i was in a relationship with. ever. its not just you, i promise.
culturehandy
Queenbull, I've also never been faithfull in a relationship. I've done some shitty shitty things in relationships.
roseviolet
I was never faithful in any of my relationships, either, until I got together with my husband. Something about him has made me fiercely protective of our relationship. I guess I just needed to feel that for someone before I could make a real commitment.
Queen Bull
CH, tell me about... teh worst part is, most of the time, i really dont feel that bad about it....like if it was meant to be then i would be faithful kinda thing? i dunno.

roseviolet, thats nice to know, i think that thats what will end up happening with me, finding the right person and then being faithful.

hah. fingers crossed. lol.
thanks ladies. smile.gif
<3's
sybarite
Same for me. Once the mister and I got together I honestly couldn't see anyone else. Saying that, there have been moments in the last year or so where I've been tempted... but I've never succumbed. I feel our relationship is bigger than any passing, or even not so passing desire.

Before him though I behaved badly in a lot of relationships, and didn't feel especially bad about it either. That karma came back to bite me in the ass.
culturehandy
oh most of mine were flings, but I did feel shitty about the ex. With that said the relationship was horrible, and with all his accusations, I felt driven to it.

I've put in my time. Now I've met someone and I'm scared fucking shitless. That's where I think things are going to come full circle.
sybarite
I was scared shitless at the start with the mister. Being scared means you know how big it could be. Try to take it slow, and be open about being scared--it's a natural response IMO. And karma doesn't work like that I think--for me, I got burned in short term relationships guys treating me as I'd treated others, and I reeled.

/end unsolicited advice (((CH))) Good luck.

culturehandy
Syb, I never thought of it that way. I've had some real dorks. I also ended up in the back of a police care because of the ex. Yes, perhaps things have worked themselves out.

thanks for the advice, I could use it right now! Another bustie has been amazing through this whole thing, too.

missladyj
I just spend a shit load of money at a Lush store. I do not feel guilty about it because after last week, I fuckin deserve it. The Mr. can bite me if he doesn't like it.
mouse
woops wrong thread sorry guyz
deschatsrouge
I am so turned on by having sex with Mrs. Rouge at her parents house. They could walk in at any time cuz none of the doors have locks.
freckleface7
confession: I finally just now paid the bills, some from 2 weeks ago! rolleyes.gif
mornington
I am really, really bad with money. I know my house is too expensive for me on my own, but I'd rather be in debt than live with other people.
crazyoldcatlady
i am addicted to internet lists of all shapes and colors (e.g., "top 20 best movie scenes involving kevin bacon and monkeys smoking cigarettes", or "top ten reasons why you should shave your legs and donate the clippings to the UN")
girltrouble
i'm curious about the lists that cocl is talking about... and thinking about shaving my legs, and watching bacon/monkey movies...
pollystyrene
I dropped LeBoy's grilled cheese sandwich on the kitchen floor tonight, picked it up in a split second and gave it to him anyway. I didn't see any obvious cat hair.

Oh well, payback for him making me watch some cheesy (ha!) show on FX rather than last week's Project Runway that we haven't seen yet.

lilacwine13
I like those lists too, cocl. The more random, the better.


I am going to stick my head in the sand now when it comes to politics. I'll probably go back to paying attention closer to election day, but for now, I can't take it any more. I am very scared of McCain winning, especially with his running mate. I know ignoring things won't make it better, but what else should I do? I don't believe in Obama enough to campaign for him and I dislike the idea of campaigning for him just to keep the other guy out of office. Too bad Minnesota is a swing state this year or else I'd feel more confident doing something for a third party.
culturehandy
I just looked through all 28 pages of totallylookslike.com

and I'm at work.
konphusion26
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Sep 4 2008, 03:23 PM) *
I just looked through all 28 pages of totallylookslike.com

and I'm at work.


Curiosity got the best of me and I too, have looked through all 28 pages LMAO Gee thanks CH! smile.gif
freckleface7
confession: after having worked insanely hard w/ emergency prep for the storms, resigned to the fact that I've done all I can possibly do, I just now very calmly cleaned myself up and did my hair & makeup.
- what am I waiting for? no - idea. just seemed like the thing to do.
had I been on the Titanic I imagine now I'd have been much the same way.
crinoline
confession: I wear Hilary Duff brand glasses. (I have a small face and adult glasses don't fit) I'm paranoid that someone will telepathically know and call me out for Hannah-Montana wear!
zoya
I'm really bummed out right now, because I unexpectedly had to work super late and missed a planned get together (read: drinking session) with my girlfriends. As planned, I texted them when I got done to find out where they are so i can meet them - and no one has texted me back. I'm really bummed because I really REALLY want to go out tonite. The only reason I even had to work until 10:30 pm is because I told a friend who is sick that I'd cover for them. Now because I was being nice (and making some extra money) I'm stuck. My friends could be anywhere - and I'm not gonna go running around the bars where I *think* they might be to find them. WAH!
erinjane
(((zoya)))

I hate when shit like that happens. I always feel so depressed about it. Fingers crossed someone gets back to you.

confession: I have felt so lazy the past 3 weeks. It's horrible. I smoke too much weed. I have enough left for one more bowl for tonight (i'm sick today) and then I'm not buying anymore for a while. I can get the occasional hit from my bro.

Confession: I think it's time I changed my bust username to something more anonymous...
sybarite
Sometimes I am enraged at ordinary things. I live in a fairly inefficient European city, and the queues at the ATMs drive me crazy. For years I managed to visit them in the morning when they were quiet, I organised my daily working life around missing these lines.

I get enraged on the bus on the way to work. I hate living in the suburbs, and I believe that anyone who chooses to live outside the city centre deserves the commute. I of course think I'm different, because I hate the suburbs and am here for the mister's daughter. I hate sitting on the bus in traffic, it's incredibly wasteful of everyone's time.

I hate having to 'commute', not really a commute because not far, but damn it, I have always lived near the city centre and this bus-taking pisses me off.

I take out my rage inadvertently on strangers by just glaring. It's not their fault that this city sucks ass for public transport.

I cannot understand how people choose to live out here knowing they will incur 2 hours of shit commuting time every day.
zoya
I'm very relieved, because one of my friends (who was leaving the bar to go home, actually) texted me to tell me where everyone was. I texted my other friend who was still there, telling her I wanted to come around, but she told me she was there for only one drink more... my confession - I automatically go to this place in my head that I think they don't want me there. That because they're telling me they're only there for one more drink, it's a nice way of telling me that they don't want me to come round. Turns out, they had been drinking a LOT and really were planning on leaving after one drink. I always go to this place in my head of "I suck," when it's not the case at all.

anyway, I went to the bar and had a couple drinks, and ended up staying there after hours with a few people and having some great conversation, and it was fun!

oh, and my crush was there (well at least for the first about 45 min - hour I was there, anyway) ARGH!! I really think he has no interest in me. My group of friends is so tight knit that I can't imagine that he does not at least have someone asking him "what do you think of zoya" by now... or maybe THAT'S why he doesn't say anything. ARRRGHHH!!!!

ps - I think this all might actually kind of belong in "inebriated ramblings...."

pps - another confession: oh GOD.. I SOOOO want to at the very least have a proper conversation with my crush. FUCK. I am so hot for him. ....I don't think it's reciprocated. but SHIT I AM SO FUCKING HOT FOR HIM I CAN HARDLY STAND IT. (and it's not just cause I think he's cute... he's fucking intelligent too. deadly.)
culturehandy
My job is carrying into my personal life a little too much. Because I am constantly lied to by my cliens, I feel this starting to creep into my daily life. I am starting to not believe what some of my friends are telling me. I'm starting to not trust some of my closest friends sometimes.

I happened last night with someone I have a very long lasting, deep friendship with and someone I care very much for.

archegonia
damona, mouse and thirtiesgirl,

thank you so much for your support. like i say its an overwhelming irrational fear. maybe a phobia or anxiety. whatever. he shows me no signs and i do watch for them.

the fear stems from the stories about the kids who are perfectly fine and then one day different. that his light would change like that is what gets me. i know my fear does nothing for anyone and that i shoudnt worry until i have something to worry about and that should that be his battle life will go on. and i thank you all for helping to stand be up by telling me that. and for the info you provided.

i was losing it and i told the internet so and you three came back with soothe. thanks.

a
Moonpieluv
Confession: I gained sweet validation after my ex's mom came by yesterday. It emotionally drained me...I was pretty much a blubbering puffy teary mess for the rest of the night, but at least I know that I can't take this all personally..that his family loves me. they want to stay in touch. they want an "intervention" of sorts for the ex. Sweet sweet validation that she said he will end up a lonely man if continues on this path. No woman will tolerate this unless she's okay with sitting in a corner or feigning her interest in gaming and staying quiet, agreeing to everything he says, bowing down.
That validation is keeping me strong.

Also: I totally had a pity party last night as well cause I know or think I know that my former ex's are in healthy happy relationships. Granted one them just too creepy as the girl was a supposed best friend and a recent ex...but they are in love and happy. So I was all crybaby that nothing has seemed to work out for me. I do have myself, which is wonderful. I have pushed out the bad, and I'd rather be alone then in bad relationship or a going nowhere relationship. But...wah wah, why is shit this way for me? wah. dry.gif
crazyoldcatlady
confession: i hated the dark knight. and juno. maybe i'm just not the same person anymore. wink.gif
culturehandy
I'm in pain from last night and I love it.

to expland on COCL's confession, I haven't seen The Dark Knight and I don't have much of a desire to either. Maybe when it comes out on DVD I'll see it.
doodlebug
Today was the first time in.....ever.....that I spent the day of an election call in Canada (any election call) in bed getting my brains fucked out, and not organizing something or speaking to the media or some such shit.

I am totally going to get some on my lunch break from the accountants' office tomorrow.

I was totally listening on the other side of the door this afternoon when my new neighbour introduced himself to my fuck buddy (I sent him out for smokes and body lotion), and basically couldn't shut up about my musical skilz, telling my fuck buddy: "That woman's got it goin' on, man." Among other glowing things. It made my head swell so I thought it would explode. biggrin.gif
starshine
The new Stargate Atlantis episode is totally scaring the pants off me right now, so I'm busting to help ease the fear.
culturehandy
My office mates are talking about weddings, and that's really it. One is married already and the other is getting married. They are both younger than me, and said they thought turning 23, yes 23, was getting old. what the hell am I? an old bag??

Anyways, the wedding talk is driving me fucking insane. I HATE wedding talk. ad naseum.

The bruising on my back is gettng worse, I like looking at it to see what kind of pain I can tolerate.
erinjane
Oh my cod, culture. That's insane. I'm turning 23 in a few weeks and I feel young young young, in a good way. I'm very aware that as soon as I finished school time has started to fly by, but I don't feel old because of it. I can't believe how many people I went to high school with are married with families. I can't imagine wanting to be married right now...or really at all.
culturehandy
I have to say that I think getting married at that age is a huge mistake, for me at least. I feel generations away from these women.
pollystyrene
I'm hormonal and vulnerable right now....that's my excuse for joining Facebook. *sigh*

ETA: Oh, and I added my high school information...it hurts, it hurts! wacko.gif
crinoline
I feel like I'm getting old and I do want to get married. (I'm 23) My parents married at 18, and I'm the oldest woman in my family to still be single. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel. Like time is running out.
freckleface7
confession: it's after 2:00pm and I just now got dressed. rolleyes.gif
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