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freckleface7
confession: at 3:00 Am this morning, I awoke & realised what an absolute ASS I was yesterday.. my behaviour to that woman was bullyish, and despite the history she & I have together, she didn't deserve that. and it's totally not how I try to live my life.. if I don't like someone, I still treat them w/ at least a modicum of basic respect & do my best to avoid them.
I am seriously ashamed of myself for this, and what a terrible example I set for frecklette!

so, I got her # from a mutual friend w/ an explaination of why I wanted it, and am trying to reach her right now. (so far, just a voice message that doesn't sound like her so didn't leave a mess; and used called ID block too bc I doubt she'd pick up if she knew it was me).
it's important to me to try to set things better if possible.

karma did indeed get me and I had it coming bigtime.
auralpoison
I have a disturbing compulsion to be "right".

My rolodex brain files away facts Dewey decimal style & if somebody tries to challenge me on them, I will do all in my power to prove I'm RIGHT if I KNOW I am.

I repect that there is a possible margin for error, so I CAN/WILL *admit* it when I'm wrong & apologize for my error, but when I am RIGHT, I am RIGHT, goddamnit! And I'm USUALLY right whether motherfuckers think they are or not. I can bring up facts, dates, citations, etc. to prove my rightness to dispel other's capricious bullshit.

It is a gift & a curse.
missladyj
AP

your confession reminds me of a quote from Charles Barkley " I could be wrong, but I doubt it!" which is how I feel most days.
anna k
I feel bad that I don't have anyone to hang out with for Halloween, and will probably scour the Village Voice for things to do. I also don't have a costume, and haven't dressed up for Halloween in five years.

In the past few years I attended a party, went to see a zombie double feature, and saw Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula and Saw 3.
lilacwine13
I feel a little smug because my cheap, on-the-fly costume received more praise and comments than the person who spent over $130 on hers, plus I had a better time on Halloween than she did.

I also feel a little childish because I backed out of a trip to the airport to say goodbye to someone because I couldn't take another ride in a crowded vehicle. I have to do that every day for work and am at my limit with loud people and mindless chatter. I just want some peace, quiet and solitude.
sybarite
Lilacwine, I hate crowded car rides with a passion. I would have done the same thing. Also airport goodbyes can be so fraught, even if the person leaving is simply worried about check-in, getting a seat etc etc...
crazyoldcatlady
confession: my friend doesn't know that i was having an awful time all weekend, even though she was enjoying herself.

confession: i blew off neighborboy rather callously yesterday because i felt feral and just wanted to be left alone.
freckleface7
confession: my in-laws now want to stay WITH US (rather than the hotel I booked months ago) over Thanksgiving/my b-day holiday. definately time to up my meds bc I fear I may kill them otherwise. sad.gif

confession: I had the opportunity to paint a white stripe down the back of my black dog (ala his Skunk costume that I didn't get to do for Halloween sinse the mr came home early & foiled it) & Blue was even allll for it & sat down like a good little puppy when I said ' sit down for Mama if you want me to paint you' but I Resisted! mainly bc it wasn't the healthier paint I'd been using, but still, I Did resist!

ps: I told the mr about his parents & he said ' or we could pay for their hotel room instead.' easy as that.
it is times like that when he is so easy to love.
zoya
confession: I had drinks with a guy friend last night, which turned into many drinks, which turned into me telling him about how I hooked up with current crush I'm kinda now seeing - which wouldn't be the worst thing, but guy friend is also a long-time friend of guy I'm seeing so this morning now that I'm not full of liquid courage, I feel kinda stupid for going on about R. (but I guess that's what you do when you like someone...) UGH.


confession 2: I have a lot of work to do today and I just want to blow it all off and go to the cinema. Which I just might do.


freckleface7
confessional question: is it Wrong to want to shove the paintbrush down your mr's throat while painting?
he's as critical about my painting style as he is about my driving ! mad.gif

confession: I am very much inclined to recognize my back is hurting and let HIM finish up today.
deschatsrouge
I'm secretly hoping my Nazi neighbor takes herself out now that Obama has been elected. I can't imagine how terrified she must be. It warms my heart.
pollystyrene
I, too, am gleeful thinking of all the ignorant morons out there who are crapping their pants at the thought of a BLACK MUSLIM president. Ha ha ha ha!

Where would they go? Didn't Canada just elect a conservative PM (sorry for my typical American ignorance, my Canadian friends)? Maybe they'll pool their big republican money, buy an island somewhere and call it Jesusland. Buh-bye! Don't let the door his you in the ass on the way out!
mouse
there's a guy at my work who i've been friendly with the entire time i've worked there. we have similar senses of humour, similar taste in music. he's funny and intelligent regarding a lot of things. he's your typical la hipstery guy; he's in a band that signed to a major indie label and they just got back from touring europe. he's cool. i knew he was surprisingly conservative, but...

he voted for mccain. i found out today that he didn't even bother to watch obama's speech. presumably he also voted for prop 8.

i find myself unable to even be civil to him. he sat down with me at lunch and i lied that i had to get back to work and left.
hiddenpoet
confession:
i just deleted a bunch of songs of his from our ipod that i know he doesn't listen to and won't even notice are gone to make room for more of my music.
auralpoison
I am absolutely terrified that I will never get over this. In a few weeks, it will have been a year since she died. And I still HATE her. HATE her. LOATHE. ABHOR. HER. Would kill her myself if she weren't already dead like.

Every day I spend in this house, surrounded by her shit . . . I can't just let it go. I HATE her for what she did to me & I'm not sad that she's dead. I'm NOT. I don't miss her. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, there's lots of shit that makes me a bad person, but the fact that I hate my own mother is really bad, right? She almost died giving birth to me afterall. But I know that in the end she'd always put her own needs above mine. It's like she gave birth to me, what the fuck else do I want from her?

My birthday is in less than a month, & then the holidays & it just makes me want to destroy things because I can't enjoy them at all. My birthday will now & forever be known as the day the ambulance came to take her away because she was too sick to fucking move of her own volition. She brought her death to herself after I gave up two years of my life making her well again.

I want to run away for Xmas, I thought Vegas would be fun, but it's also my families' first Xmas without me gran. And that's hard to swallow. She was a really amazing lady. And to be without her . . . just feels weird. I know my grandad lost his wife of almost sixty years, so I can't abandon him during that time. But I want to.

There's just too much death in December. The fifth for my mother, the seventeenth for my father, the eighteenth for my other gran. I can't enjoy it. It hurts too much.

And the white people. They've pretty much disowned me because I voiced my opinion that my uncle is a total dick to me. He doesn't need to be, but ever since my father passed eight years ago he's been busting my balls. I don't need it & in his infinite wisdom, he gave my dog to the redneck even after being SPECIFICALLY told not to. I asked ONE thing of them. ONE. Okay, well, two because I needed underwear in the hospital, but that's neither here nor there. They haven't spoken to me since July & I don't expect to hear from them anytime soon. Fuck 'em. When Jimmy fucks up again & needs money, then they'll call me.
mouse
((((aural)))
freckleface7
((((((ap)))))))

confession: there is a chance I may be pregg. granted, I go through this 'oh shit I'm late' at least twice a year or so (or when I am not on bc as I have not been sinse the last debacle w/ the iud & it's removal in april) but I am late & my breats are Ginmormous (even by my own normal state) & look like preggo boobs. at first I thought I was just having a really great boob day, but then I realised ' shit. they look like That.' and then the dream I had the other night where I was on a trip w/ the mr w/our toddler boy we kept calling C.
then again, my chin is breaking out a little. - hurrah for acne?

confession: I think I am somewhere between euphoria & horror at the thought of it.
pollystyrene
((ap))

Freck, how long before you can find out for sure (assuming your body doesn't let you know for sure sooner)?
geekchickknits
I spent too much money today on yarn.

I also ordered yarn off the internet for the first time. I hope the colours are right!
starshine
I bought Martha Stewarts Christmas recipe magazine yesterday at the food store, and spent half the night making amazing food from it.
freckleface7
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Nov 9 2008, 01:44 AM) *
((ap))

Freck, how long before you can find out for sure (assuming your body doesn't let you know for sure sooner)?

I'm not, which the mr said he already knew. huh. whatever.
maybe I'm creeping up on the change & that's why everything is so out of whack? wrong thread now, sorry.

confession: I seriously think my mother in law, for all her sweetness, is a MORON mad.gif .
deschatsrouge
I have already decorated for Christmas, and I'm working on recipes I will make as gifts.
persimmon_grrrl
I was scammed out of $275 recently by a lady for a tarot card reading, and later for some "energy work" to "heal" my "damaged aura/spiritual energy".

I feel like a damn fool.

But now I will try not to be so impatient when I'm feeling miserable and try instead to really just eat some damn food before even considering going to a so-called psychic for any real, tangible advice.

DAMN.

(((((auralpoison)))))
freckleface7
QUOTE(persimmon_grrrl @ Nov 10 2008, 06:08 PM) *
I was scammed out of $275 recently by a lady for a tarot card reading, and later for some "energy work" to "heal" my "damaged aura/spiritual energy".
I feel like a damn fool.
But now I will try not to be so impatient when I'm feeling miserable and try instead to really just eat some damn food before even considering going to a so-called psychic for any real, tangible advice.

DAMN.
(((((auralpoison)))))

pg : was this woman saying she was going to perform rekike (sp) therapy on you? the japanese healing energy art?
bc I have seriously considered doing that myself and discussed it some in the Alt Medicine's thread awhile back.
please don't feel bad-- you didn't feel well- you reached out for help.
how is any of that bad?
((((((persimmon g_rrrl)))))) hope you are feeling better sweetie.
persimmon_grrrl
nope. that kind of work is useful. but referrals from trusted friends are always good.

this was a psychic, the kind with neon lettering outside the window.

i was feeling lost.

QUOTE(freckleface7 @ Nov 10 2008, 06:47 PM) *
pg : was this woman saying she was going to perform rekike (sp) therapy on you? the japanese healing energy art?
bc I have seriously considered doing that myself and discussed it some in the Alt Medicine's thread awhile back.
please don't feel bad-- you didn't feel well- you reached out for help.
how is any of that bad?
((((((persimmon g_rrrl)))))) hope you are feeling better sweetie.

missladyj
instead of automatically thinking that the people i work with are morons, it occurred to me that they are doing the best they can with what they have got. it has totally changed my perspective on humans.
tyger
I love that I have stopped being diplomatically nice to people who are in my social circle that I really don't like. I'd much rather rub people the wrong way than shut up for the sake of niceties, and I forgot how much happier I am being my normal, abrasive self
auralpoison
I grow even more livid as the minutes pass. LIVID. It's like that old Love&Rockets track, but I grow LIVID. I could spit piss right now. LIVID. You make me wait much longer & I will not be responsible for what happens. And it'll be all your fucking fault. YOU chose to throw shit away. This isn't on ME. YOU MADE THIS CHOICE.
stargazer
(((AP)))
bunnyb
confession: I spend way too much time here.
crazyoldcatlady
confession: i don't think i've learned what i was meant to learn by being here. time's running out, and i don't want the past few years to be in vain.
mouse
i am not ok
konphusion26
I'm having recollections of sick shit that I allowed to happen to me when I was a teenager. I'd rather not relive it in my head. But for some reason, it keeps popping up, and I have NOBODY to talk to about it. I don't even know if I want to talk about it. I feel dirty and I wanna go take another shower just thinking about it.
crazyoldcatlady
(((kon)))) PM any one of us


(((mouse)))
culturehandy
(((kon and mouse)))

I fear that when he gets better, I'll be there standing beside him being introduced as his best friend, not his lover. It will destroy me.

stargazer
(((mouse and kon and cocl)))
lilacwine13
I just downloaded a bunch of classic rock on itunes because I wanted to hear something along the lines of musical comfort food.

Plus, AZ Guy didn't like classic rock, so in some ways, this is helping me get over him. Come to think of it, a lot of my musical choices in the past few months have revolved around AZ Guy not liking the band or the genre.
culturehandy
the one thing I really regret is not paying attention in Chemistry in high school. If I had, maybe I could have done something else and not ended up as a miserable coot at my job.
missladyj
I am now the proud owner of a Wesley Willis. It makes me wanna sing " I got a Wesley Willis, I got a Wesley Willis , I got a Wesley Willis!"

check him out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wesley_Willis


I got a head but from him back in the day at the Empty Bottle.

RIP Wesley!
pollystyrene
One of his drawings?
missladyj
yep! it's of the Chicago shoreline and the rockefeller chapel from 1997. It's in marker and it is beautiful!
crazyoldcatlady
omfg!!! i love wesley willis! rock-n-roll mcdonalds? jesus is the answer? ford windstar? i'm sorry i got fat? PRICELESS!!
i had the opportunity to see him play on campus when i was in college, but i had to study. passing vs. wesley live= toughest decision evah.

let's see the picture!
humanist77
aww, Wesley Willis. My ex later became an EMT, and when Wesley had a heart attack before he died, he got to go pick him up in the ambulance. When they were taking off for the hospital, Wesley hollered from the back "Let's get this rock-n-roll ambulance on the road!"

The ex also said he kept a copy of the death certificate : (
lilacwine13
I like Wesley Willis too. "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat" is one of my favorite songs ever. We have to see your picture, missladyj.

I passed up a chance to see him play when I was in college too, so don't feel too bad, cocl. It's one of the things I regret not doing.
missladyj
He's the best! Humanist that is an awesome story. Rock over London, Rock on Chicago!

right now the only digital camera i have is on my phone and since this is a large piece I don't think it will do it justice . I will get on it.

I am just so proud to own it!

Hubby and I bought it as our 8th anniversary present to ourselves on a whim . we were out to dinner and there was a gallery next door. It's a gallery I am familiar with we went in and I asked if he had any Wesley Willis, he did, hubby talked him down. We put a down payment in June and after getting it matted and framed it's now on the wall. Thank goodness for art layaway! It was also our first serious "AHHRRT" purchase as a couple.

the next step is to get light for it. so gorgeous. I have wanted a piece of his for a long time. Yeah!
Persiflager
Confession: I just spent ten minutes at work catching up on the arguments in the busting trolls thread, and really wished I had a big bowl of popcorn. It feels so wrong, but I'm really entertained by articulate people arguing.
bunnyb
persiflager: you are not alone.
sassygrrl
I loved Wesley Willis. I got a head but from him... Let's see the drawing. smile.gif

Confession: I'm finally considering moving on my own out west. This scares the shit out of me.
lilacwine13
I broke down crying on the way home from work because of stress and feeling very isolated from everyone else who is here.

I'm worried this means I'm not cut out for this field. sad.gif
crazyoldcatlady
QUOTE(lilacwine13 @ Nov 15 2008, 08:11 PM) *
I passed up a chance to see him play when I was in college too, so don't feel too bad, cocl. It's one of the things I regret not doing.


that's probably concert #2 that i regret not seeing.

the first is en vogue. i was in 5th grade, and it was on a school night, and i was tired. no 10 year old should be that tired/nerdy.
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