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stargazer
Sorry, candy, SES= socioeconomic status.
auralpoison
QUOTE(stargazer @ May 28 2009, 04:16 PM) *
. . . and not make my family feel like I am moving past them, if that makes sense.


I'm not a snob, but my family makes me feel like I am.

I KNOW I am of an upper socio-economic status than the rest of my family. I don't rub it in. Part of the reason my parents stopped at one kid was so that they could have a reasonably monied lifestyle in the longrun. So they could support their lifestyle & me. My folks travelled all the time, me da had the best toys, me mom had all the rocks & clothes to her heart's content. And I wasn't hurtin'. I had to earn it, but I wasn't hurtin'. I had cool shit at least a year before my peers.

I have so much more life experience than most of my family. Most of these people haven't been more than a few states away & are PROUD of it if they haven't. They don't want to know what else is out there. My fam came to visit in Denver & my uncle ate nothing but cheeseburgers & fries for five days because he was so unwilling to step outside of his comfort zone. Like I was gonna poison him with dimsum.

It's weird now with the money. I've earned it, I've inherited it , I'm used to it. Now I just have a whole lot of it I really didn't want. I'd rather have my parents back (Despite my nearly homicidal relationships with them.) because money cannot fill up the fucked up parts of me they made.

CONFESSION: I can't fight it, I'm the heinous creature that came of their union & I'm gonna do what I wanna. And fuuuuuck everybody else.
missladyj
confession: I have no problems saying no. As in " NO, I can't do that for you. " It is liberating.
lilacwine13
I'm taking stupid quizzes on Facebook now to procrastinate on buying stuff on itunes and spending money I don't have.

I think I'm addicted to those things.
freckleface7
confession: even tho I love how my newest tat looks and it hurt. like. hell. , I know it needs to be darker so I'm going to go back and ask them to touch it up/fill it in more.
I already know that once the needle touches my skin & bones again I'm going to be thinking this was my dumbest idea EVER. ( & that says a lot coming from me)

confession: I got a kick out of talking to an ex boyfriend & showing him said tat picture & him saying " you sure have changed" and me saying 'uh, not so much, just grown into myself really.' wink.gif
stargazer
confession: I wish I had one of Doodlebug's brownies right about now.
period_monster
confession: I want a Parliament Light right now so badly I could cry.
confession: when it gets this bad, I usually give in.
lilacwine13
I'm partially amused and offended by someone who took me seriously on Facebook.

One of those stupid quizzes was about what age you should marry and mine was 27. Jokingly, I wrote something about inventing a time machine to fulfill that--as well as taking tuba lessons and getting a Saint Bernard, two other quiz results-- and someone thought I was seriously looking for a man. At this point, learning to play the tuba holds more promise than finding someone and might be more fun.
prophecy_grrl
confession: I sometimes find hairy armpits on women to be sexy. I wish I had the nerve to grow mine out this summer, wear some nice sleeveless tops, and wow everyone with my sexy pits. Yes, I'm serious.
girltrouble
ich, rudder, i have no doubt you'll get in that class and wonder what you were worried about. you'll do just fine.


confession:naruto makes me cry. a LOT.
missladyj
confession: if I wasn't married, I would do a lot less hair removal. I like my little moustache and furry armpits.
crazyoldcatlady
i want to shave my head.
i want to train for a half marathon.
i want to get off my ass today and get something done.
culturehandy
COCL, train for the half marathon!!!

I want to learn to kayak.
lilacwine13
Culture, learning how to kayak is on my list of things to do this summer.

Confession: Right now I am at a loss as to why I am where I am. It's not a bad place, but I don't feel like I'm fitting in and it is making me sad and confused. I think I'm here for some reason, maybe to get in shape or to be alone to do my thing, but now I'm just not seeing my purpose.

On a completely shallow note, I know I'll have a great-looking ass by the end of the summer because I do a lot of walking up and down stairs and hills, but I think I'm here for something else. laugh.gif
crazyoldcatlady
what, no push for the head shaving, CH? tongue.gif
culturehandy
the intro to kayaking course is only $20.00 for two hours, then you take the good stuff.

COCL, you don't need me to push you to shave your head!!!
roseviolet
COCL, if you shave your head, I want to see photos.

Confession: Last night I was supposed to go to an acting class - my first genuine interaction with the theater community in this town - but I skipped it when I discovered that it was all about improv & improv games. I have NO desire to perform in an improv troupe and I did NOT want my first acting experience here to be improv-related. I still feel a bit crap about skipping it, though (especially since I already paid $25 for it). I really should have been more careful when I read the information about the class. Bah.

Confession: I'm getting to the point where I don't even know if I want to get back into theater. The politics and hoop-jumping is just too daunting and exhausting. Lately it seems I'm more interested in engaging in more domestic, old-fashioned activities - cooking, sewing, etc. I like that I can do these things whenever I want. I don't have to audition & basically beg for permission to make a cake. I don't have to pay to take classes just so I can meet people who may or may not allow me to knit a scarf.
sassygrrl
CH, I'm learning to kayak this upcoming weekend.

Confession: Really wanting to apply for school, but haven't been able to do it. Also, the grant writing thing has slowed down. I just don't have the energy. I'm worried I'll be jobless forever, b/c it's been almost a year. GRE studying is just such a fear of mine.

girltrouble
rose, i know what you mean. i hated all of the stupid impov games, and while i understand the virtues of thinking on your feet, i find most people/actors/comedians who are seriously into impov [see robin williams] extremely grating.

what's more, what burnt theater for me was exactly what you mention-- the politics and hoop jumping. have you considered something behind the scenes? if you like sewing, you could do extra work for the seamstress. it's a good way of getting your toes wet. i still have fond memories of going thru the huge wardrobe of places i was performing/learning at. and there is something (for me at least) really satisfying about wig making. lol... it's like making a hook rug. to this day i find working behind the scenes much more fun that being on stage. it's just as creative to work on props and you are always learning something. if none of that appeals to you, you could always do something i was recommending to a friend: write a play or three. they could be one acts just to flex your muscles, and hell you might write a part for yourself too. somehow i think you might just have a knack for it. wink.gif
******************

yay for all the future "j" strokers! how funny that y'all are all hopped up to kayak. mr.t has been driving around for the last 6 mos coveting every kayak she sees. i miss canoeing, but i get super sea sick now days.

question: are y'all thinking about river, lake or ocean kayaking?

***********************

i know what you mean sassy. i'm about the 9 mo mark, all told. the welding opportunities have all but dried up in this town. i might have to go back to dispatching or retail.

***********************

i'll encourage you, catlady. DOIT! i had dreds for 10 years, and taking a shower after shaving my head is one of the most sensual experiences i've ever had. it was super intense, and walking around after was so liberating too. since then i've shaved my head 3, 4 times. it can become an addiction, so beware!
culturehandy
ooooh Sassy, I'm jealous!!!! Enjoy yourself.

GT, you so smart, that's such a good idea.

confession: I really, really like bird watching. Watching birds is something that has helped me through my crap (along with the help of some very wonderful people), and it is so soothing to watch birds hop around and feed. Plus birds are neat!!! 'Cept if they are fucking one particular busties window sill whilst she is trying to sleep.
stargazer
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Jun 8 2009, 09:21 AM) *

Confession: I'm getting to the point where I don't even know if I want to get back into theater. The politics and hoop-jumping is just too daunting and exhausting. Lately it seems I'm more interested in engaging in more domestic, old-fashioned activities - cooking, sewing, etc. I like that I can do these things whenever I want. I don't have to audition & basically beg for permission to make a cake. I don't have to pay to take classes just so I can meet people who may or may not allow me to knit a scarf.


(((Rose))) Rose, I feel the same way about my profession. Like, why is it so hard for me? If something is meant to be, then shouldn't it be rather mutual and effortless? I'm a hardworker and I've busted my ass, time, and money for some organizations and I just don't have the strength anymore. I think I will do alot of soul searching about my field this upcoming year.

cocl, shave your head. Cutting my hair recently made me miss having my faux mo' acouple of years ago. I looked cute. I want to see your big noggin.' And I don't mean that in a sleazy, come on either. wink.gif

Confession: Sometimes, I really do like being a hermit. I can spend alot of hours alone for a loooooooooong time.
doodlebug
confession: when I'm performing on stage with my band, I have no doubts in my mind - not one single doubt whatsoever - that this, THIS, THIS is what I am (and was always) meant to do with my life.
roseviolet
GT, I feel exactly the same way! I have a number of friends who've done improv and I love them, but sadly their shows are not nearly as amusing as they think. The thing that irritates me most about the typical improv troupe is that their goal is just to be funny. True improvisation is about much more than getting laughs. I can definitely think on my feet when I'm on stage. I've saved my fair share of scenes when a fellow actor skipped a few pages or blanked on her lines. I can do that. But with improv, they just want you to be wacky in that particularly irritating improv-theater kind of way. Not my cuppa.

As for working backstage, I'm still unsure. I've been burned by that before. I worked as a seamstress in the theatre for years & found that it labeled me. They didn't take me seriously as an actress because they were too used to seeing me in the costume shop. So I don't think I'm desperate enough to try that route ... yet.


Stargazer, you have definitely popped into my mind over the last many weeks as I've struggled with this. I don't know why the gatekeepers are barring the way for us. It seems we have to find a different path to reach our destinations. How exhausting.
flanker_ji
Confession: I've been offered a lot of *special* baked goods lately, and it's getting so damn hard to refuse them. So part of me wishes I could just be a carefree stoner like everyone else I know, and the other part wishes my friends would stop trying to tempt me with things that they know very well could cost me my job.

RV, I wish you the best of luck figuring out whether you still have a place in the theatre life. Your struggle with it is interesting to me because theatre was my first passion that I dedicated a lot of time to, only to leave it behind after high school because I couldn't deal with the type of person typically drawn to acting anymore.
girltrouble
rose--- nail on the head. esp. the "not as amusing as they think" part. there is no pursuit of character discovery, or even some larger point of the scene. which i think requires a deeper level of thinking. instead it's just, oooo wacky. yawn. it's so lightweight. there are very few things i like less than improv. (jon+kate, kathy lee gifford,reruns of "small wonder" or "mama's family", beets, etc.)

and yeah. i can see how you might be typed. so funny that one thing people have in movies and theater is a lack of imagination sometimes. *sigh*

flanker, that last para about theater was my first year in university. it just burnt me.
shibooya
QUOTE(flanker_ji @ Jun 8 2009, 11:20 PM) *
Confession: I've been offered a lot of *special* baked goods lately, and it's getting so damn hard to refuse them. So part of me wishes I could just be a carefree stoner like everyone else I know, and the other part wishes my friends would stop trying to tempt me with things that they know very well could cost me my job.

RV, I wish you the best of luck figuring out whether you still have a place in the theatre life. Your struggle with it is interesting to me because theatre was my first passion that I dedicated a lot of time to, only to leave it behind after high school because I couldn't deal with the type of person typically drawn to acting anymore.


I've never had those kinds of brownies. I think I tried smoking pot once but it burned and I never got high so it seemed pointless. But brownies - I can never say no to brownies. They could have arsenic in them and I'd scarf them down
tankgirl
I'm a creep.
crazyoldcatlady
I'm a weirdo
shibooya
I'm a jerk
thirteen
Confession: I am extremely socially awkward, yet find some odd comfort in it. The "sweet" weirdness about me goes back to my childhood & was an effective survival tactic at that time. Now I feel like I have outgrown it and use it to keep potentially harmful people away from me. However, it does not seem to work, and I am desperate to get more in touch with my true self.
girltrouble
since we're doing that kind of confession:

i'm strikingly normal (inspite of what people may think )
i'm a superflake
roseviolet
GT, I can believe it. But then again, I find that the people who seem the most unusual from the outside are usually the sweetest & most "normal" people once you get to know them.

Confession: I've never smoked pot. The first time I was around it, the smell made me sick to my stomach so I wasn't interested (I still HATE the smell). When I was 19 I fell into an odd bunch of friends who had done a ton of hard drugs when they were really young & just didn't do that stuff any more by the time I met them (my best friend graduated from rehab before she graduated from high school). I just never got exposed to it much and never felt a need to try it. I've never (to my knowledge) eaten pot brownies, either. Actually, most drugs that people seem to love have a bad reaction on me so this is probably all for the best. For instance, I actively avoid Hydrocodone/Lortab because I hate the way it makes me feel (disconnected & dizzy in a really bad way). All of my friends are confused by this reaction. It makes me seem like such a square ... but maybe that's because I really am a square! Hell, just the fact that I'm using the word "square" in this context is proof, right?

Confession: I have spent hours and hours over the last 3 days looking up new knitting, crochet, and sewing patterns as well as finding new recipes I want to try. I've become so fucking domestic in the last few years! It's bizarre!
pollystyrene
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Jun 9 2009, 09:07 PM) *

Confession: I've never smoked pot. The first time I was around it, the smell made me sick to my stomach so I wasn't interested (I still HATE the smell). When I was 19 I fell into an odd bunch of friends who had done a ton of hard drugs when they were really young & just didn't do that stuff any more by the time I met them (my best friend graduated from rehab before she graduated from high school). I just never got exposed to it much and never felt a need to try it. I've never (to my knowledge) eaten pot brownies, either. Actually, most drugs that people seem to love have a bad reaction on me so this is probably all for the best. For instance, I actively avoid Hydrocodone/Lortab because I hate the way it makes me feel (disconnected & dizzy in a really bad way). All of my friends are confused by this reaction. It makes me seem like such a square ... but maybe that's because I really am a square! Hell, just the fact that I'm using the word "square" in this context is proof, right?


Confession: I've never smoked it either, but find myself increasingly both curious and apprehensive about it. I definitely wouldn't smoke it (never smoked a cigarette, either) so it would have to be in brownie form. I still have a squarish reaction to it when I find out someone I know does it (*gasp!*) but I'm also a little jealous.

I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out next month and they're giving me nitrous; I had it when I had a tooth removed when I was about 8, but don't really remember it (I guess that's the point!) and I'm kinda nervous that either I'll hate it/it won't help or I'll love it and it will make me more interested in trying pot.
lilacwine13
I've never eaten a pot brownie, despite the fact that I tend to hang out with stoners. I'm not sure if I want to.

Actually, I'm not much of pot smoker either. If I'm not in the right mood it makes me feel like crap or it doesn't affect me. Right now I'm content with smoking out a few times a year, same with getting drunk.

Yet I've noticed that if I'm attracted to someone, chances are they will either be a stoner or a former stoner. It isn't something I actively seek out, but I realize it's a pattern with my love life. Usually they're doing something with their lives, so it isn't that big of a deal, but it is a rather odd trait.
humanist77
I'm a flake too.

and now that the cat's out of the bag recently with my sister, I also smoke pot regularly. I didn't smoke any for about 3 years until this January when I got kicked in the face on the train by some lunatic. I was despondent for several days, and pot was the only thing that made me feel better. Soon after I pulled something in my back-could barely move without severe, stabbing pain for 2 days. It wasn't getting any better, but I took a couple hits and it was gone completely in less than a minute and it didn't come back. THC has anti-inflammatory properties-that's why it's good for people with migraines and other chronic pain.

Nowadays, I just like the stoned sex/conversation/music listening/movie watching/art making, etc. It makes everything so much more sensual-it definitely has a very pleasurable affect on me. I'm a responsible smoker-I'll never drive or go to work or a family function stoned, but everything else is game. I've never had brownies or other marijuana gourmet though-but would love to try it!!
pollystyrene
I have doodle's recipe, humanist!
freckleface7
I've been stoned twice in my life & wish w./ every fiber of my being I could do it on a regular basis.
pot compared to alchohol is much mellower in my system.
I wonder where I might acquire some brownies of that kind?

I am starting to embrace my true inner bohemian/hippy. what I've been doing these last years in reality hasn't/has stopped working for me and damnit- I'm ready to let my outside match my inside.
I feel so much sexier when I dress that way, more alive in my skin. I'm going to stop questioning if that's a sign of mental illness and just go with it.
just thinking about it feels like I am lightening a load of 1000 pounds.
~ freckle's rennasiance ~ !
auralpoison
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Jun 9 2009, 10:43 PM) *
I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out next month and they're giving me nitrous; I had it when I had a tooth removed when I was about 8, but don't really remember it (I guess that's the point!) and I'm kinda nervous that either I'll hate it/it won't help or I'll love it and it will make me more interested in trying pot.


They gave me nitrous for the first time when I was eight & I still remember it. I kicked off my shoes & made the dentist change the radio station. My parents scared our dentist, so he'd have us in the office a goof half hour before he planned on seeing us to get us good & high. You just have to remember to breathe in through your nose & out through your mouth. I forgot last time & started honking on the mask like a crazed Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.

I do not remember the first time I smoked pot. I remember getting other people high for the first time. I remember the first time I smoked *laced* pot.

Nitrous & pot are two different kinds of high. Nitrous is a pretty consistent full body buzz that drops off quickly, whereas pot high can vary greatly because of quality & also means of consumption. Smoking/vaporizing you get loopy pretty fast, ingestion takes longer & is mellower.

I used to smoke a LOT of weed. Then I quit expcept for when somebody else had some. I smoked the first couple months back, & recently started again. I LOVE being stoned.
flanker_ji
Well funnily enough, I think I'm more annoyed with my whole situation more because I've never eaten pot, only smoked it. I've never been a regular smoker of anything, since I don't get much of a high off it, yet nearly everyone I'm close to enjoys weed on a regular basis. I think I'm most frustrated by the fact that it's a communal activity that I don't get to be a part of in my free time. My job (I drive a school bus) is dictating my behavior outside of work. Also, my friends just need to stop being assholes. tongue.gif

Polly, I suggest next time you have a kicked back night with a few friends over, invite at least one pot smoker, and ask them to introduce you to the wacky tobackee over a glass of wine.

Sidenotes: Here in northern California, getting high on weed is such a big part of our culture, there is virtually no stigma to it.

Me and a couple of my friends are doing what we can to bring the term "square" back.
girltrouble
whoooo! drug confessions:
ugh... i hate nitrous.

i'm allergic to oxycodone (and all opiates)-- a prefered drug among my friends. mr. t used to do heroin, and i would like to try it once, but i know it would kill me.

i've never taken x, and i'd love to. i've never done coke, and don't want to.

i can't smoke pot in front of people. it fucks with my body temp, and i shiver uncontrolably, and get super neurotic about it. by myself, i can pile on the blankets, but i still get superneurotic and depressed for days.

some days i miss (clean) acid like you wouldn't believe. i hallucinate off cough medicine, on acid, the things i see are ridiculous. (my favorite was roof tiles turning into lace doilies, with glowing red+green lights in intersections)

*******

yay for hippy freckami! wub.gif let that freak flag fly, freck!

humanist-- glad i'm not the only flake, although seattle is a city of them.

i'm jealous of rosey's domestic creativity. rose you are so cool.
crazyoldcatlady
dammit, i was trying to incite a radiohead singalong with my last confession. tongue.gif
sybarite
What the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here

(for COCL)
raisingirl
I've smoked pot only a handful of times. It was so boring and I've never felt a desire to do it again. And it got boring real fast with the guy I was seeing at the time. When he was high he'd talk about the health benefits of drinking one's own urine. I wish I were kidding. I stopped seeing him shortly after that incident.
culturehandy
Oh pot confessions.

I used to be a freakin' burn out. I smoked every day then sat in the backyard, nothing like nature and dope.

Same with mushrooms. The last time I did both, which was a few weeks ago, it was a fabulous high, I did a lot of self reflecting, and that was the turning point about how lousy I was feeling. Sort of. I felt great about myself, but it was all the other stuff that was fucking me up.

I've toned down a lot on the dope, thank you meds for making me feel dopey.

Never done hard drugs, that stuff scares the hell out of me, although I would like to try peyote and go on a vision quest, that would be really really amazing.

Freck, i'm the same way, I like doing the hippie thing, you would have a field day in my closet, in the summer it's so nice to be airy and not bound by tight clothes, which i do anyway.

I'm so with Rosey, I'm all over that domestic stuff, although throw in my nature stuff, too. Ahem bird watching rocks!
lilacwine13
Ah, smoking out while camping or hiking, that is so awesome. Weed and nature do go together.

I can't drink a lot of alcohol thanks to being on antidepressants. The last time I had more than three drinks I had a terrible hangover. I don't miss it--I'd rather be stoned off my ass than drunk off my ass--but it makes me feel like a lightweight.
roseviolet
I've dated a lot of ex-stoners, too. Most of them seem to have gotten bored with it by the time they meet me. I guess that's why none of them have ever offered me any before(?).

Humanist, if I had experienced what you went through, I would have needed to take something, too. That was seriously seriously fucked up shit.

Bird watching does rock, CH! A couple of weeks ago while I was on vacation at the Outer Banks with my family, my mother urged me to go on a birdwatching excursion with her & one of the local wildlife experts. We saw so many beautiful birds & our guide told us so many interesting things. It was much more fun than I expected.

Freckle, you should definitely embrace your inner hippie. You're never too old for a personal renaissance!

For all of you who love the domesticity ...
Today I plan on buying yarn for a sweater I want to make for myself. Then I'm going to make homemade banana ice cream with milk and cream from our local dairy.

Confession: I found out about an audition that sounds promising, but I'm actually more excited about making that ice cream.
culturehandy
speaking of ice cream, we're having a backyard crud sale, yes this is how we plan to advertise it, and upon cleaning out 20+ years worth of crap from the basement (I'm serious) my mother found an ice cream maker!!! I'm tres excited to use it. one can never have too many kitchen doodads for cooking and creating.

We've gotten rid of at least 20 bags of clothes, for those who cannot afford the same. We're selling the books and toys, and other assorted crud. It feels good to purge!

We're having a potluck at work today, I plan on stuffing my face. Of course I say that now, but curse these meds, I have little to no appetite.

RV, I even got myself a snazzy new pair of bino's to birdwatch. I love them!!!!
stargazer
Speaking of drugs...

Never been curious to want to do stimulants. The thought for staying up for days never really interested me. I would rather do drugs that encouraged my laziness. Like others, I was kinda "meh" the couple of times I smoked pot. I would fall right asleep. I was surprised by my reaction because I come from a lineage of pot smokers in my family. My dad and my other relatives would smoke in front of me and my cousins when I was a kid (not good-I know). But, I finally had a corrective experience with pot recently. Maybe I was just smoking some bad shit before? blink.gif

GT, I remember an interview with Steven Tyler where he said that being on heroin was like taking your most intense orgasm and multiplying it by a thousand (he used some other number that I can't remember). Uh, I like orgasms alot so I know I would like heroin.

Flanker, I will say that I think I understand your point about your friends trying to encourage you to smoke pot nowadays. I had a friend talking with me about cocaine once. It was like some weird adult version of an afterschool special. Like dude, if I wanted to try it, then I would. Don't try to convince me or anything.

Freckle, if I remember correctly, then you are a Sagittarius. Every Sag woman I know in my family has some type of hippie vibe to her. Sags are free spirits. So, just embrace your free spirit!

QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Jun 9 2009, 11:27 PM) *
I have doodle's recipe, humanist!


I guess you know what you can bring to the next Bustie get together. wink.gif

Confession: Lots of people always ask me if I'm holding drugs or want drugs. Do I have some kind of stoner look to me? mellow.gif
pollystyrene
QUOTE(stargazer @ Jun 10 2009, 09:09 AM) *
I guess you know what you can bring to the next Bustie get together. wink.gif


It could be a group effort between me and humanist wink.gif
pollystyrene
In regards to the rest of the comments- is there a way to predict how you'll react to pot? I mean, I know the high will be different from nitrous, but is whether or not it's pleasurable at all be an indicator that pot will be okay? What difference does smoking vs. food make in terms of the effects? Is one more intense or long-lasting than the other?
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