Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: BustSecret: Ordinary Confessions from Extraordinary Busties
The BUST Lounge > Forums > As the World Turns
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118
kittenb
star - you know I will. rolleyes.gif I just never realized how much analyzing of me there would be. And it makes me crazy when the teachers will say "I'm not asying what you did was wrong/right/etc." but it is so clear that they have an opinion on just that topic. huh.gif
crazyoldcatlady
i'm skipping a work "party" tonight because i don't want to "party" with anyone i work with.
freckleface7
conversation between the mr & I at dinner out tonight :
Him: I'm just saying that if a woman doesn't want her husband to play video games so much, she ought to offer sex instead.
Me: you really seriously think that way? Really?! it's That black & white to you??
Him: well, yes.
Me: have a nice game honey !
dry.gif
starshine
On a whim, I just booked a solo trip from northern Canada to New York City to see Michael Franti and Counting Crows play in Central Park. Pretty much the craziest thing I've ever done, and it's going to be so awesome!!!

(any thoughts on what to do in New York for the first week in September would be greatly appreciated!)
auralpoison
You're just missing the San Gennaro Festival & Fashion Week! You might want to hit up the NYC thread or the Travel Thread. I hope your show is a great time!
candycane_girl
Confession: I am looking at vintage engagement rings on ebay. I don't even know why.
doodlebug
confession: my relationship with Soulman seems to be a lot happier and more even-keeled without the presence of the Anarchist.

confession: even the sex with Soulman is better since we fired the Anarchist.

confession: nonetheless, I really miss the Anarchist.
freckleface7
confession: I think I'd really like to get stoned & then have sex . hell
I'd even settle for just getting stoned. however, the mr is totally & completely against drugs. sad.gif

confesion: I'm looking forward to hopefully startling some of the mr's co workers & their wives at a gathering this sat night w/ my nose stud; even better will be the fight that will proceed it if the mr asks me to cover it up~!

doodle: you probably (just guessing) miss and mourn the person anarchist was before he got so messed up.
he was Someone Signifigant in your life and it only shows the depth of your heart that you feel this way now.
let yourself feel as you need w/out guilt or recriminations of 'what else you might've done to help him' bc he choose his own path as you & Soulman have choosen yours together.
((((((doodle))))))
pollystyrene
QUOTE(freckleface7 @ Aug 24 2009, 03:33 PM) *
confession: I think I'd really like to get stoned & then have sex . hell
I'd even settle for just getting stoned. however, the mr is totally & completely against drugs. sad.gif


I'd kinda like to, too. LeBoy isn't happy that I tried pot last month, but the sky didn't fall afterwards, so I think he's gotten over it. I'm not sure if he'd want to do anything with me while I was stoned.
auralpoison
Pot? Isn't really drugs. It's a PLANT. To use it you just have to dry out the pertinent parts, there is no processing involved. Sadly, pot just got caught up in some money-grubbing bullshit. Heroin? Coke? Meth? PCP? Crack? Booze? THOSE are drugs. Weed ain't drugs at all.
candycane_girl
All of these confessions make me happy that cc_boy is 420 friendly. In fact I just remembered that on my craigslist ad (the one that brought us together) I said something along the lines of "I like to bake in more ways than one".

Also, I think that anyone who has ever gotten drunk or even just has a few drinks and gets tipsy is kind of a hypocrite for being against weed.
zoya
agreed. I was talking with a cop friend over the weekend who said he'd love to see pot legalized. He said people who smoke pot are rarely an issue, it's always alcohol or coke that are the issues. He said most cops he works with feel that pot should be legalized and laws made even stricter and charges heavier in relation to alcohol.
roseviolet
Freck, do you think the Mr's main problem is the illegality of it? I can see why he might be concerned about having an illegal substance in his house, what with his chosen profession and all. As for the piercing, he totally needs to get over himself. Seriously. You'd think he'd have more important things to worry about. rolleyes.gif

Confession: I don't like the smell of weed. Makes me sick to my stomach. Most drugs don't do anything for me anyway, so I don't feel like I'm missing out. Luckily, alcohol does have the intended affect on me, so at least I've got that going for me!

I just realized that none of my friends do any kind of drugs anymore. Well, unless you count alcohol or Prozac. It's as if they all grew out of it or something. Is that normal? Do most people stop smoking up after they hit 30? Or do people just get better at hiding it?
freckleface7
rose: I'm 38 & did pot once in my early 20's. now, bc I AM on med similar to prozac, if I knew (as I suspect) that pot could work better & could get it medically prescribed (I think only certain states legalize it for that so far & nc ain't one of them) I'd do it in a heartbeat.
then again I'd also do it recreationally as well. wink.gif

the mr is just so very....... anti-drugs period. I don't know really, even though he himself drinks & dips tobacco. (hypocrit much eh?) it always pisses him off hugely when I talk about wanting to legalize pot, but I can't drink w/ the medicine I'm on now & hell- what's a girl to do?

the piercing he's ok with and says it's pretty. but around his co workers it may be another story. I may be not giving him enough credit bc never did he try to talk me out of doing it & has quietly boasted that my lotus tattoo was my mother's day present.

- hypothetically: where would I go to try to score some weed?

confession: I cannot believe I just posted that in an open forum. cool.gif
candycane_girl
lol, freckle I have no idea where you could get weed. The best thing to do is ask any friends who smoke where they get theirs and even then that doesn't always work. I got mine from cc_boy who got it from some guy who gets to go to the medical marijuana clinic.

Either way, I probably would be a bit weary about mixing weed with anti-depressants. I'm pretty sure that weed can have some depressant properties although I've also heard just the opposite. It's a mystery!

confession: no offense to all you Yankees but I am so thankful to be a Canadian! Seriously, we have universal health care, gay marriage is legal, our right to choose isn't in danger and the cops only care about weed in terms of grow ops. I have honestly smoked pot on a street corner while cops were just across the street and they did not care.
pollystyrene
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Aug 24 2009, 07:19 PM) *

I just realized that none of my friends do any kind of drugs anymore. Well, unless you count alcohol or Prozac. It's as if they all grew out of it or something. Is that normal? Do most people stop smoking up after they hit 30? Or do people just get better at hiding it?


Until last month, I didn't do anything other than alcohol (and even then, I've never really been drunk- I'm a total lightweight and I don't really like the way alcohol makes me feel, so I usually don't get beyond 1-2 drinks). Most of my friends who do pot now, took a break from it during their 20's (as far as I know) and are now picking it back up again in their late 20's/30's. The smell of burning weed bothers me a lot less than tobacco smoke, and when sauteing it for baked goods, it smells just like pesto. Yummy!

freckleface7
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Aug 24 2009, 09:32 PM) *
The best thing to do is ask any friends who smoke where they get theirs

Either way, I probably would be a bit weary about mixing weed with anti-depressants. I'm pretty sure that weed can have some depressant properties although I've also heard just the opposite. It's a mystery!

confession: no offense to all you Yankees but I am so thankful to be a Canadian! Seriously, we have universal health care, gay marriage is legal, our right to choose isn't in danger and the cops only care about weed in terms of grow ops. I have honestly smoked pot on a street corner while cops were just across the street and they did not care.

that made me realise that I DO have a friend that smokes it, or did for awhile anyway... but you brought up a valid point about not mixing it w/ any prescribed med's too- although I'm not on an anti-depressant per say it's probably close enough to count.
I honestly think I will bring this issue up w/ my dr when I see her in the next week or so although as our insurance has yet to embrace alternative therapies such as massage & accupuncture weed is probably way not going to happen.
still, never hurts to ask!

cc- you are right- Canada does to seem to have a lot of good going on in regards to those issues.
freckleface7
confession: today is frecklette's 1st day of school as a Sophmore (10th) & while she was cool & calm this morning- I was a mess wacko.gif ! is it really asking too much to want to keep her home w/ me for like- forever??
culturehandy
I think with weed, people just go through phases. I used to be a chronic, then one day I stopped because I got bored. Now, when I want to smoke, I'm usually not at home, then when I get home, the urge has passed. Freck, if you lived here, I'd hook you up. and (((((freck))))) my mom was the same way.
zoya
freckle - if you were in CA (or even visiting CA and could just use a CA address) you could get a prescription for medical marajuana. I don't even smoke weed and I love the fact that someone figured out the loophole and that essentially, it's legal in CA.
freckleface7
ch- your mom was the same way about you going to school?
tell me please then.. how is your relationship with her now as a "grown up? " at the time did it make you feel smothered or loved?

zoya: you got me thinking & for your educational enjoyment...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_cannabis
it's good to read that NC is at least starting to consider legalizing it, but I doubt it'll happen soon enough for me- like Tomorrow.

confession: 2 hour nap on the sofa !
culturehandy
My relationship with my mother is pretty good. we have our moments, but who doesn't, really.

I'm an only child from a divorced family and my mom was pretty open with stuff, so I understood and accepted it. Didn't feel smothered by that, some things, of course.
candycane_girl
freck, it sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. I'm super close with my mom and it was really hard for me when I first left home. At least you still have a few years with frecklette!
freckleface7
ccg frecklette & I are pretty close yes and I realise that the time she has left at home is going quicker & quicker now sad.gif I'm pretty sure frecklette was in elementary school when I joined here as freckleface2727; now she's in her 2nd year of high school. time goes so fast! you should go call your Mom now eh? tell her you love her.
I scored well today bc I got F Jr a Green Day t-shirt & some Ed Hardy notebooks. yah both of us!

ok I'm just gonna confess it, gross or not:
I often blow my nose in the shower.
girltrouble
confession: seriously crushing out on my crushy-crush. she does an AMAZING karen walker impression. she and i are going to collab on some muppet-esqe sculpture. ::sigh::

confession: i really wanna move. my place is super cheap, like unreasonably cheap, but i want out damn it!!!

confession:i'm afraid i won't get the tattoo apprenticeship. they give you only the most bare outlines, and tell you to come in to the shop, which is in another state.

confession: part of me fears that, like all the other tattoo places that i talked to about apprenticing, they will like my work, but won't pick me because of how i am sad.gif

confession:being unemployed, drawing all day has spoiled me. the idea of getting a normal job fills me with dread.

confession:facebook edition:

confession:my half sister contacted me thru facebook. i like her, but she really doesn't understand it, and posts like a teenager even though she's about to turn 50. and no, i don't need an email telling me good morning. that's just irritating.

confesssion:i actually got contacted on fb by two people from high school that i genuinely, really, really like. color me shocked.
yuefie
confession: I just awoke from a terrible dream and don't even know what to do to calm myself down. I can't stop shaking. And the strange part is that I am not sure how much of it was just a dream and how much of it was a repressed memory coming out. It was about a traumatic event that happened when I was young which I've remembered vaguely in the past but always brushed off and never really delved in to see how much detail I could actually remember. It's something nobody in my life even knows about except my mom, and she's been dead for going on 9 years. This dream though was VERY detailed and it's freaking me the fuck out something fierce.

confession: Part of me really wants to wake R up to comfort me. And I know he'd be upset if he knew I was sitting here shaking and crying and didn't wake him. But I am also not ready just yet to get in to this with him. I feel like I need to sort everything out and try to figure out if that was memories or just a dream that somehow incorporated a real traumatic event in my life.
pollystyrene
(((yuefie)))
yuefie
I'm positive these are real memories. I can see everything so vividly, like they just happened. I don't know if it's okay to post this here, but I don't know what else to do.

I think I saw my mother beaten up and dragged down a flight of stairs to be raped. I knew that she was raped when I was five or six and I knew I was there when her ex boyfriend knocked on the door. But I never knew that I ran outside after he pulled her out the door and saw the bastard beating her while dragging her by her hair to his car. I can see his red hair and mustache and the white Nova he drove. I'm remembering distinct details of the aftermath too. I can see her all bloody and bruised.

I am crying so hard I can hardly see the monitor. I also puked so hard I feel like someone punched me in the ribs.
sevenseconds
(((((dearest, precious yuefie)))))

you can wake R up and just ask him to hold you without telling him what it is about...
And... i am here.
freckleface7
QUOTE(yuefie @ Aug 27 2009, 04:40 AM) *
confession: I just awoke from a terrible dream and don't even know what to do to calm myself down. I can't stop shaking. And the strange part is that I am not sure how much of it was just a dream and how much of it was a repressed memory coming out. It was about a traumatic event that happened when I was young which I've remembered vaguely in the past but always brushed off and never really delved in to see how much detail I could actually remember. It's something nobody in my life even knows about except my mom, and she's been dead for going on 9 years. This dream though was VERY detailed and it's freaking me the fuck out something fierce.

confession: Part of me really wants to wake R up to comfort me. And I know he'd be upset if he knew I was sitting here shaking and crying and didn't wake him. But I am also not ready just yet to get in to this with him. I feel like I need to sort everything out and try to figure out if that was memories or just a dream that somehow incorporated a real traumatic event in my life.

((((((((((((((((((((((sweet yuefie))))))))))))))))))))))
I've been dealing w/ exactly that for the past year & waking up from something like that is horrible. frightening. disorienting.sigh
what I do, eventually, is to write it out. draw a line on a piece of paper & write down what you definately remember / and what you think you remember /(new information from your "dream").
it may give you some clarity or insight.
it really is so scary, but memories like that come through when your psyche deems you strong enough to handle it, and even if you decide to explore it more it could be a long long time before anything else comes back.
I begged my therapist for a truth serum, or to be hypnotised just to get it all out in the beginning of therapy, but it doesn't work like that.
I'm so so sorry Yuef, and if I were there, I'd hold your hand & hug you and hold you & remind you that You Are OK Now, bc I also know that when a memory comes back like that, it's like it's just happened to you in the present.

pm me here or at crackbook bc I'm totally here if you need ~
ox,
freckle
sybarite
((((Yuefie))))) Listen to 7seconds and the wise and wonderful freckle. Also... I know what you mean, I think, about sharing it with R. My mister can get angry/upset on my behalf to the extent that sometimes I feel it is easier to not tell him things that may cause that reaction. R would want you to turn to him when you're upset though... if you feel you need more time to process this memory just tell him that. Share how you're feeling, including the confusion, and let him comfort you.
yuefie
The more details I allow myself to focus on, the more sure I become that these are real memories.

I talked to my cousin and his wife for a bit. He's a little older than me so I asked if he remembered ever hearing anything about my mom being beaten and raped by her psychotic ex and he said that he had. He also confirmed that I was there and also that it took place at the location I am remembering in the "dream". He said I should call his mom to talk to her because she was the one who my mom called immediately after and that she also took care of my little brother (who was a toddler at the time) and I while mom recuperated for a few days. I don't recall that, but he does.

Thank you all so much. I know this doesn't belong here, I just didn't know what to do or where to post at the time I woke up hysterical.
culturehandy
(((((yuefie)))))
yuefie
I feel like a horrible person because I am hurt and confused and even angry at her for never telling me exactly what she knew I'd witnessed or that my Aunt G knew too, even though she was the one that had to suffer the brutality. What is wrong with me?

She brought it up to me once when I was about 18. She said that she was raped when I was about 6. She said she was taken in to a car by someone she'd dated, was beaten, raped and dumped back off. She said I was asleep upstairs the entire time and that when I saw her after she had the black eyes and bruises covered as best she could. She asked if I remembered being afraid, hiding from someone at a motel and him knocking on the door waking us up. I told her that I did vaguely remember something like that but then she got angry and told me that I couldn't remember much because I was asleep. She told me that nobody else knew and to never discuss it with anyone or bring it up again. She said it was her own fault because she knew someone like this person in the first place.

I feel like a terrible and selfish daughter for being pissed at her, even for a moment. She probably blocked out that I saw what I did because it was too much for her to bear. And I am so deeply sad that I will never be able to tell her that it was NOT her fault she was raped and that I witnessed some of the attack, all because she died too young.

I am so fucking pissed, I could spit nails.

I wish I could cry until I pass out.
ketto
(((yeufie)))

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this stuff so suddenly. Kids have an amazing resiliency and one of the ways they maintain that is to forget traumatic events, even as they're happening. The only problem is that when people finally remember the event, it can be an incredible shock. I'm not a childhood survivor but my younger brother was sexually abused when he was 6 or 7 and only recently remembered and is working hard to deal with everything that comes with those memories.

Don't apologize for posting in here. You've got lots of support here.
sevenseconds
(((((((((dearest yeufie)))))))))))))

You are not a horrible person, not ungrateful or selfish or unreasonable or anything you might blame yourself for. It's totally cool to be angry about this - you have seen and buried something that has scarred you deeply, and god knows how many of the reactions and attitudes you have towards life and men and yourself and women's worth in general have been influenced and even driven by this experience... all the more so BECAUSE you didn't consciously remember it.
Unacknowledged motivation is almost compulsive, hence the whole *25th frame* thing. What we don't know we want or are running from is the real dictator. So give yourself all the time and all the room and all the cry you need and let this take you where it needs to, almost like a bad trip, don't resist it but let it wash over/ through you (BUT provide for yourself the best support you can get, like someone who will standby to pick the phone and talk to you if you want to be alone... or R if he's down with not asking more than you'd willingly share). Follow this rabbit of horror to its dark little den... It's not that scary when you know where it lives. My opinion. And I and all these great women hold a sweetness and a warm comforting vibe for you.
You are okay, baby girl.

7s
candycane_girl
(((((((((yuefie)))))))))))

I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say. Do you have a therapist to help you work through all this? I know it's not always a popular choice but I really believe that sometimes it's best to talk to someone with an outside perspective (someone who doesn't know you or your family).

Maybe your mother convinced herself that you were asleep throughout the whole ordeal so that she wouldn't have to deal with the horror of you knowing what really happened.

You'll get through this.
deschatsrouge
((((Yufie))))
doodlebug
(((((yuefie)))))

Don't feel so bad, please. My brother somehow didn't remember that our father beat the crap out of our mother until he was in his late 30s/early 40s.....he said to my mom, "I don't know how Auntie So-and-So always ends up with guys who hit her - not like you, Mom." She was nonplussed, and told him exactly what had happened, and then phoned me to ask, "How could this be?"

But the truth is, I think I blocked a lot of it until I was about 12, when I was snooping through my mom's strong box and found the divorce papers, which cited "physical and mental cruelty" as the grounds. I was really angry, thought she was making it up, or exaggerating. But as I processed it and got a little older, I came to remember, or at least recognize what had happened as abuse. I didn't really understand what abuse was - it was just something "normal" in my life, and yet traumatic enough to avoid thinking about. Until I understood what abuse was, what I mainly remembered was my parents "fighting," and what I experienced at the time of their divorce was relief that they were no longer together, "fighting." By the time I was 18, the Color Purple came out on film; I saw it with my mom and came out of the theatre in tears, re-processing my entire childhood. I was 24 or 25 before I had pieced it all together and confronted my dad with it.

(((((((more hugs for yuefie)))))))

My confession:

Last night, I saw the Anarchist at a jam. I asked him if he was still "double-shifting" at work. When he said yes, I looked him straight in the eye and asked, "What are you taking to stay awake?" He gave a startled, nervous laugh, looked away, and swallowed hard. By the time he looked back at me (this all happened in a couple of seconds), he had composed his features, and said, "Nothing," and then got excited about his morning fresh fruit regimen.

You know what? I'm naive and trusting and a big believer in positivity. But I'm not fucking stupid.
yuefie
I just wanted to say thank you again to everybody who posted and who PM'd me here and on FB. I made an appointment to talk with my doctor and to get a referral to a therapist. I also talked with my Aunt and got confirmation on certain details I was remembering. She was stunned at my memory of the specifics and we cried a lot. I felt a lot better though once I knew it was real for certain. A wise BUSTie told me that this only surfaced because my psyche is strong enough to handle it now, and I think she's right. Maybe now I can begin to understand myself and my own struggles in life a little better.

Thanks for listening and for the support. wub.gif

Oh, and I did talk to R and he is so wonderfully supportive.

confession: I hope that in therapy I can begin to learn why deep down there is a part of me that still, no matter now much R shows me that he is nothing like the losers I wasted my time on in the past, sort of expect him to one day grow tired of me and switch in to asshole mode. It's so unfair. I am aware and try not to punish him for these fleeting thoughts. He knows and tries not to take it personally. But damn, it makes me feel like shit. I trust him like I've never trusted anyone, yet I still get that momentary lapse of panic.

another confession: I have an entire list of people who I am "friends" with on Facebook blocked from seeing my status updates and links I post. Mainly people I am friends with out of some familial obligation. I wish I would just grow a pair (like I've said to others) and give 'em the boot, but the truth is that I don't think I will just yet.
culturehandy
Yuefie, it sounds like you are taking the right steps. It can be very scary to deal with things, as we all know. But you are doing the right thing, I have no doubt that you will come out stronger because of all of this.
freckleface7
(((((((yuefie))))))))))) am so glad you're going to see a therapist & that you spoke to your aunt.
collaboration of things remembered is a powerful tool. oxox ~

doodle: more proof you did the right thing w/ anarchist eh?
(((((((doodle & your childhood too ))))))

roseviolet
(((((((((((Yeufie))))))))))))))) I'm so glad you talked to R about this. He sounds like a really wonderful human being & I know he'll stand by you and help you through this. Therapy can be painful, but I found that it's worth the effort. Your life will be richer because you took this step.
((((((((more snuggles for Yeufie)))))))))))))))



Confession: Remember my 15 year old cousin who visited us earlier this month? Like many girls her age, she's gotten sucked into the numerous vampire book series (Serieses? Seri? What is the plural of "series"?) that are out there. So in the interest of staying close to her across the miles, I read the Twilight series. I bought the 1st book while she was here & I finished the 4th book this morning. You know how some people feel embarrassed when they buy condoms? That's how I felt every time I had to buy one of these books.

Confession Part 2: I thought the series was kinda meh. A part of me wishes I liked the story more because now I feel totally out of the loop.
missladyj
((((Yufie)))))
treehugger
Yuefie,

wow. Just, wow. That must have been terrifying for you as a child and then to have people try to mold /change what you Know you saw! Wow. I hope you can come to some sort of peace about this. ((((Yuefie))))
yuefie
I must confess that today I, against the urging of both R and my sis, drove by the place it happened. I just wanted to see if the building layout was the same as I was remembering because it was so long ago. Not only was the building the same, it was still the same exact place (a motel) with the same exact sign I remembered. I remembered it was near San Diego State University and I had other business in the area already, so... I drove on by. I resisted the urge to stop and to dwell on it. And you know what? It didn't fuck me up like everyone insisted it would. It was almost a sense of relief, really and truly knowing that I remembered it right.

Thanks again, guys. Y'all rock. wub.gif
candycane_girl
(((((yuefie))))) there are times when only you know what's right for yourself. I think that most of us knows, in some way, what we can handle and what we can't. Good for you on just going ahead and doing it but also on not dwelling on it.
freckleface7
I know this isn't Quite a confession, but cooincidentally while I was out tonight I came across a booth for Planned Parenthood & learned my city Finally has one & I had a totally exciting & positive conversation w/ one of the women & she's going to call me!
it's just to volunteer w/ them but it's something I've wanted to do forever bc I feel the work they do is of utmost importance. Confession w/ in: I feel in my gut I am meant to do some good with this program.

Yuefie : so Proud of you.
strong woman. strong heart.
(((((((Yuefie))))))))
pollystyrene
Yuefie, I'm so proud of you too, that you're dealing with this head-on. <3
freckleface7
confession: the mr & I went to a party tonight & I decided 'what the hell, I'm going to smoke' and suprised everyone outside by lighting up. later on when the smokers went back out for a smoke a woman I'd like to be friends w/ asked me if I was coming & right then I realised how totally much I wanted to smoke another one. I declined, bc I scarily realised how that would the cigarette that addicted me.

confession: sexual thoughts about friends husbands lately, even ones in a million trillion years I've never thought of that way!

confession: saying way too much sometimes.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.