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auralpoison
Hey, you do what ya gotta. Lurk, leave, stay, de-friend, what have you, in the end you gotta do what feels right for you, CC_G. It's like those corny old commercials, we'll leave a light on for ya just in case.
foryoursplendor
((sassy)) When my dog died a few years ago, I would cry on the bus on the way to university. People probably thought I was crazy, but geez, it was so awful. *hugs* Hope you feel better soon.


zoya
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Feb 3 2010, 09:28 AM) *
(((sassy)))


I've also felt that the last few times I've posted that people who respond obviously aren't reading my post because they respond with something that really doesn't really answer my question/issue. However, at this point I don't expect people to respond well to someone who barely posts.
.


...perhaps they're just not saying what you want to hear... but sharing their true experience on the issue that you could perhaps learn from if you wanted to....

just sayin.


stargazer
Advanced members have been given 48 hours to edit posts in the Lounge. I'm waiting for an explanation for changes in the edit function.

auralpoison
See, I was told that too, like, back in mid-December, but it's never happened. I'm an advanced member, yet I still only get ten minutes. It bugs the shit out of me because I feel like I'm being punished for something that I wasn't even a party to.

Sometimes I make errors & want to correct them later. Like, I spelled "rationale" as rational the other day, but didn't notice it until it was too late. My little OCD heart is DYING to fix it.

An hour & however many odd minutes later . . . Okay, whoa. Holy shit. I take it back. I guess I must have more time because the button is still up. Crazy. Thanks for the info, Star! And thanks for giving us back some edit options, TPTB.
auralpoison
Confession: I am giddy like a school girl.
candycane_girl
Okay, I said I would lurk and I have been. So now, I have this to say and I know you're all gonna hate me for it but you know what? FUCK OFF ZOYA!

These people aren't saying anything that I need to learn from. The first post that I felt was misread was when I said that a guy on my online dating site had added me to HIS favourites list but hadn't contacted me. The response was that if I had added him to MY list then I should just message him about whatever it was that had interested me. Well, I didn't add him to my list so obviously that person didn't clearly read my post.

The second was that I said I was really missing my ex and someone responded saying that she really missed having sex with her ex and that they had amazing sexual chemistry. Well, I wasn't talking about sex at all.

And by the way, you have absolutely zero "true life experiences" for me to learn from. The day I take dating advice from a 41 year old who comes in here and cries about not being able to get a date and how even her own guy friends don't have the decency to walk her home will be a cold day in hell.

You have always seemed to hate me for actually giving love a chance and not giving up on it. Well excuse me for not wanting to end up like you and being forty something and hitting on boys half my age. Maybe you should ask yourself why it enrages you so much to see other people not take your "advice".


Like I said, I know this post will get me a lot of hate but I don't care anymore. Zoya has had a hate on for me for a long time and I honestly don't know why. I know you all love her but she has been an absolute bitch to me on numerous occasions when I haven't said a single thing to provoke her. At least this time if she is going to bitch me out you can say she has a small reason to. I didn't want to go out like this so maybe I'll go say goodbye in another thread.
candycane_girl
And one last thing, I don't usually judge people by whether or not they have a boyfriend. I know that it doesn't really mean much. But for someone who acts like she is a relationship expert and everything she should be taken as gospel truth because she has had sooo much experience well yeah, that is how I'm going to judge you. It's like shooting a crappy home movie and calling yourself Scorsese.
stargazer
cc_girl, it looks like you are taking a break from the Lounge. I hope these posts helped you to get things off your chest. Like AP, if you decide to come back to the Lounge, we'll leave a light on for you.
zoya
cc_girl - if giving a shit that someone doesn't get into some of the car wrecks I've been in and trying to give some tough love when it looked like you might be going down that road is being a bitch, then yeah - I'm a bitch. Same as AP or GT when they're calling it like they see it because they give a shit. If I didn't give a shit, then I'd never have answered your posts. And please remember, that when you were on your "break" with your BF and I raised some concerns about his actions that you did not want to hear, those concerns did indeed come to pass. I understand now that you just needed to learn that stuff yourself, without the aid of any "41 year old who has zero life experiences," (ha) or really anyone else who doesn't repeat back to you what you want to hear. Good luck.
sybarite
CC_girl, if your participation in the lounge includes insulting people who have genuinely, and repeatedly, tried to help you, I for one will be happy to see you go.
girltrouble
uh, i'm kinda with syb on this.
i think lot of the "drama" comes from people being a bit too sensitive. myself included, but really, candy? for someone who started this by saying they hate all the drama, you pretty much picked the thing that's gonna cause the most drama, said it in a way that's bound to offend, then you came back to stir the pot. drama wise, are you trying to make up for lost time or something?

also? saying you're not coming back? drama bonus points.

someone doesn't read you post clearly? yeah. it happens all the time. someone goes on a tangent? ditto. i'm sorry that they weren't reading it the way you would like, but i think that happens 9 times out of 10. perhaps you should just email a close friend if that's what you're looking for, not post it on a forum. it's the nature of the beast.

i'm not interested in giving you a "verbal smackdown," i like you quite a bit. still, if someone else posted those couple of posts, i'm sure you'd see all the drama. what's more, i don't think zoya has had a "hate on" for you. from the sound of her reply it doesn't sound like she does either. perhaps a break is best. people have been super supportive of you, but i'm not sure you can see it. anyways, best of luck whatever you decide.
kittenb
QUOTE(stargazer @ Jan 31 2010, 11:48 PM) *
Confession: I don't like it when people tell me how they still lurk (and they lurk as a guest, they don't login), but, don't post. Eh. Maybe I'm being cranky and rigid. But, I'm kinda like, if you want to leave, then leave and don't come back.


I don't know exactly why I don't post here as much as I used to. I normally check the threads, see if there is any place that I want to add my $0.02, and then move on. But I am still checking every day. The other day I realized that I clearly remembered when doodle was rescuing Georgie and on FB she posted that that cat is 6 now! I've been here a long time and thru 3-4 jobs for goodness sakes. I just don't have much to add here, I guess.

What is weird is that I was just on a different site and was reading an thread where someone whom I did not know referred to some conflict on a different site that was causing her to leave. I just knew that this person was referring to the Lounge. I am sad that I was right and that that is my strongest instinct right now. People don't fight as much on FB, that is for darn sure. Of course, we don't share as much there.


stargazer
QUOTE(kittenb @ Feb 6 2010, 06:39 PM) *
People don't fight as much on FB, that is for darn sure. Of course, we don't share as much there.


The relationships I've formed both online and IRL have ebbs and flows with them. There are conflicts, there are good times, there is laughter...there are differences. If a relationship cannot maintain the differences which naturally occur in relationships, then the relationship may stay superficial, surface level, lacking depth, and emotionally immature. When the main function of a relationship is to smooth egos, it creates an oppressive environment where people are afraid to say how they feel even when intended with respect for one another. Yelling might be involved, cursing, tantrums, what not. Is it the worse thing in the world? No. There needs to be work in communicating with each other if we need to come to a place of understanding. I don't know everything. I act like an asshole. How will I learn if I do not open myself to others? I value the people in my life and look forward to what our engagement as friends may contribute to my life. Will I be frustrated when I hear something I don't agree with? Sure. Is feeling frustrated the worst thing in the world? No.

FB is designed for real surface level relationships. I've realized the women I have more investment in my life are on this board. I share alot of myself, either for my own self development and/or others. A fellowship if you will. I guess I find meaning in being called a bustie than a FB friend.

That's me and it is part of the reason why I keep coming here.
kittenb
Well, I've never known you to act like an ass. I think what you write here makes a lot of sense. Honestly, I do think of my Bustie friends as different than my face-to-face friends, except for the ones that I have met face-to-face. The Chicago Busties hold a very special place in hy heart and life. Especially my social calendar and my fancy food wants. smile.gif
Most Busties I never even spoken to on the phone (I know this makes me different than other people here, many of whom have spoken on the phone, traveled to meet, etc.) Only a few Busties have I even chatted w/on FB and I think I worry that it seems presumptuous to just say, "Hey Bustie! Let's FB chat!" Again, that is clearly me & my insecurities, not rejections that I have recieved or anything.
However, things that I have shared here have no other place in my life, sometimes. Sometimes I am chattier and more open here than w/my face-to-face friends figureing if I am being self-absorbed, well, someone can always ignore me and I'll never know. cool.gif I like that. I like that this board is my hiding place. It is like Bust is just to the left of my reality. However, this feeling of "hiding space" is one of the reasons that i often don't say things that I feel will hurt a person and I try not to get too into arguments. For me this is a different world. As I don't fully know most of the posters here, I feel that I rarely know enough of the problem/conflict being posted about to be fully open & uncensored in my own response.
kittenb
To clarify, ALL the Busties I know on-line also hold a special and dear place in my heart. It just feels different once I've meet you face-to-face.
Persiflager
cc_girl, I have no idea why you've singled out zoya when she's said exactly the same things to you that we all have (and often a lot more gently). I sympathise with you because I've been in the same position (and I'm sure most of the people here have), but until you're ready to stop shooting the messenger it's probably a good idea to take a break from here.

By the way, 'giving love a chance' is different from 'desperately clinging on to something that clearly isn't working, and then blaming anyone who points it out'.

auralpoison
Confession: I am happy, sated, & my belly is full like a tick.
culturehandy
I heard a song I listened to when I fucked a very sweet man, and it makes me kind of sad because I don't know if I'll get to sleep with him again.
zoya
a very close friend, who I've been communicating with nearly every day for the last few months, has just dropped off the face of the earth in regards to me in the last week - and I'm really bummed about it.
auralpoison
(((((zoya))))) (((((culturehandy)))))
doodlebug
I love a good flounce.

confession: I once wrote a letter to the IOC, as the representative for a provincial coalition, threatening to protest the Olympics if they were awarded to Vancouver. Now I work for an Olympic sponsor and this morning, they came and covered my work station in Canadian flags.
culturehandy
(((((zoya)))))

I will not be fucking that boy again, we parted ways yesterday. I'm the one who took the incentive, so there was a lesson learned in all of this. I suppose. Things were getting a little busy and I was having a hard time juggling the boys.

Still sucks, he was sweet.
sybarite
(((Z))) I hope you hear something soon, I hate that feeling.

I really wish I had a couch to curl up on. I'm tired of feeling cold. I feel like babying myself.

I keep spending my paycheck three days into the month and being broke for the rest of the time. Now I have no money and will be baking brownies for the mister for V-day. I do, however, have bookshelves, a new dress and a plane ticket to France...
coffeebean
I'm looking forward to working from home over the next little bit so that I can watch the television coverage of the olympics.
ketto
Syb, I'm jealous of your plane ticket.

I'm not planning to watch any of the olympics and if I didn't listen to while driving in the car I bet I couldn't even tell you when they start.
kittenb
I'm secretly happy that our home internet is on the blink and the boy has to go into the office to work while I get to stay home on a day off.
girltrouble
.
pollystyrene
((((gt))))

So sorry you had a shitty night.

Not to sound flippant, but some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. Hopefully tomorrow, you're the pigeon.

People are just assholes.
girltrouble
.
stargazer
((((((((((gt))))))))))))))
sassygrrl
(((gt))))
auralpoison
I am absolutely overjoyed about my bike. It is shiny & blue. I need to buy a bell!
zoya
meh.
sassygrrl
AP, so jealous!!! I'd love a bike, but the roads around me are shit.

((zoya))))

bleh. In a shitty mood despite V-day. Getting married in a month and freaking out.
kittenb
{{{sassygirl}}} I'm so sorry that you are freaking out and feeling such stress. I've only known a few brides but your story sounds very similar. I swear, I was shocked that one friend of mine actually went thru w/the wedding. Her and her husband seemed so much happier after all the drama was over. I hope things get easier for you very very soon.
anarch
(((gt)))

(((sassygirl)))

(((zoya)))


I'm still around too, stargazer. I just haven't had much to contribute lately.
sassygrrl
QUOTE(kittenb @ Feb 14 2010, 05:22 PM) *
{{{sassygirl}}} I'm so sorry that you are freaking out and feeling such stress. I've only known a few brides but your story sounds very similar. I swear, I was shocked that one friend of mine actually went thru w/the wedding. Her and her husband seemed so much happier after all the drama was over. I hope things get easier for you very very soon.


Kitten, yeah. I'm just wanting the wedding to be over. I'm trying to be creative by having fun creating a playlist as ell as designing a geeky wedding topper. All the drama that has happened over the last few months. I'm also getting sick of not working either.
doodlebug
confession: Soulman and I fight rarely. But when we do? Holy fuck. What a shitstorm.
deschatsrouge
I prefer it when the new kitten disturbs Mrs. Rouge and not me.
missladyj
I think my sister is an asshole
auralpoison
Confession: I am actively avoiding my family again for no good reason other than I do not want to fuck with them. I know they love me, but why can't they just leave me the hell alone?

Confession: I have a bad habit of waiting until I'm down to coleslaw & the frozen meats/veg to go to the market & it winds up costing me a bescrillion dollars because I'm out of everything. Like, I don't even have condiments.

QUOTE(sassygrrl @ Feb 14 2010, 12:06 PM) *
AP, so jealous!!! I'd love a bike, but the roads around me are shit.


I really need to take a ride with my camera to show all of you my quaint little town. My street? Is red brick like most of the surrounding streets. And I live on one of the few absolutely tree-lined streets in town, so the sidewalks/roads are bumpy as hell. The tree roots disrupt everything. But the trees are worth it!
culturehandy
I have zero desire to date. I don't know if I want to settle down at all. I'm enjoying what I'm doing right now. A lot. I answer to no one, play by my rules and have a really amazing group of friends. I don't see a partner fitting into my life.

This leads to my second confession: The thought of spending the rest of my life fucking the same person scares me to death. Sexual monogamy isn't my strong suit, I get bored quickly.
sybarite
I just found another high school friend on FB. We were really close my senior year, had a laugh and went everywhere together. She and I had each other's back amongst all the infighting and bitchery that characterised high school for me. Also, she personified the ethical slut before it was given a name. She and I would cut a swathe through the town's menfolk together most nights and her approach to casual sex was one of the healthiest(psychologically and physically) I have ever seen.

Now she's on FB saying she loves being a wife and mother, and belongs to some Xtian groups. I will not contact her as it appears we have nothing in common. I'm happy she's happy though and wish her well. I just hope no-one gave her any shit on her way to Jesus.

(This could have been a letter instead...sorry for slight derailment.)

Confession: I'm shirking work. I feel psychologically exhausted and am letting myself rest. /unnecessary violins moment

doodlebug
I'm still mad.
humanist77
On Valentines Day, I had more fun wining and dining unexpectedly with a guy (to my credit, I thought he was gay for most of the night-he wasn't) who wasn't my boyfriend, than I did wining and dining with my actual bf the night after...
girltrouble
um... i just realized i just stumbled on a very, very good thing.

i just got myself a sub who likes being humiliated, and loves handing me cash for me doing almost nothing. now i just have to figure out the logistics of this.... cross your fingers.
doodlebug
confession: I am thinking about leaving Soulman. Only thinking. More weighing options. I don't think I'm going to leave right now. I do love him and I enjoy the time we share, and it's delightfully complicated by the fact that we're business partners now, and I'm even the half owner of a PA system. But I don't think he's the love of my life, in that huge "we have to join our lives and be together till we die" way. And then the truth is, I'm not sure I'm actually ready for the love of my life quite yet. Maybe it will turn out to be him, maybe somebody else. I can only live in today and trust my inner voice. If it's time to go, I'll know. I hope.
ketto
(((doodle)))

I confess, I told my co-workers I would go to a 1 hour presentation today but I'm feeling so overwhelmed/lazy/headachy/frazzled that I think I may just skip. The worst part is that I'm at home and the presentation is 4 blocks away - easily walkable. I'm using sick time but I get crazy anxious when I think about backing out of things I agreed to even though past experience has told me these presentations won't tell me anything new. I hate that I get so anxious about using sick time when I'm feeling overwhelmed - just because I'm not sick in body doesn't mean my mind and sanity doesn't need a break. This has caused me serious anxiety and guilt problems al my life.

anarch
confession: my MIL told me several weeks ago that she'd like to spend time with me, but I haven't gotten around to calling her to arrange anything. I'd almost rather do my taxes.
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