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stargazer
(((archegonia)))
auralpoison
Wow. I was gonna come in here & crybaby, but that'd make me a crybaby.

(((((archegonia)))))

I can't even begin to imagine what it is you are actually going through, but I still want to give you a big 'ol hug. Keep us posted, huh? We're a supportive lot & we've got your back.
archegonia
aww, thank you for the love ladies.

i dont say those things out loud and remembered this thread on monday when i wanted to scream it out. i love the bust lounge for the support. i'm truckin' as hard as i can and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. just 2 more months.

i'll certainly keep you posted, is there a more appropriate thread for this?

<3
sybarite
Hey archegonia--the Committed thread over in the Mating Game takes on board all things to do with relationships, so feel free to post there. There are threads in Friends and Family which might appeal too.

Also, take care, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now (((you))).
coffeebean
(((archegonia)))

.
auralpoison
Confession: I sometimes really hate the fact that I almost always take the high road rather than the low even when I'm really pissed. Something I said in idle tonight made another person go so completely off the rails butthurt that she picked a fight with me. We were talking movies/movie soundtracks, she said one song, I said another. This was apparently a poor choice on my part. She went from zero to name-calling & confrontational in six seconds. Literally. I became the "film gestapo" & she challenged, "What now? Are you gonna tell me the artist didn't sing the song?" Uh, no. I don't care enough. I just rolled my eyes & left it, but she continued to bait me. And right now I am so fucking annoyed with myself for not knocking her down a peg I could scream. But I don't know her, I'm not gonna have to interact with her much, so why burn the bridge?
auralpoison
Confession: I look back on my life & sometimes marvel at the number of truly crazy people I know/have known. How did I ever survive them?

I ran into an old friend on FB this morning, we IM'd for a bit until I asked about one of our other old friends, at which point he asked me to call him as it was complicated. I found out that she may or may not have killed her husband.

She lives in a fairly small community & it is/was common knowledge around town that she's basically a violent, unmedicated, drunken serial offender (REPEATED ADW, battery, perjury, a slew of drunken shenanigans), he was older/had a heart condition, he mentioned wanting a divorce, they had a VERY BIG FIGHT, she got drunk, next morning he was dead. She claims to have no idea what happened. The cops called her down for a "routine statement", so she didn't contact a lawyer or anything & wound getting full-on interrogated. Basically, if this guy's tox screen comes back as anything less than perfectly normal, she is probably guilty & probably fucked.

Now, knowing her as I do, I do not think she is by nature a murderer. BUT. Do I think she could have done it? Well, she is a blackout drunk, she is spiteful, she is creative & she doesn't really consider the consequences of the things she does when she's angry & drunk. I would not put it past her at all to tamper with things just to "show him" & not realize that she could actually kill him in the process. She has, uh, inflicted more than a few . . . I'm just gonna come out & say it: She has stabbed some people. She wasn't trying to kill them, but without intervention she probably would have & not really considered it until after she'd sobered up. So I guess I'm gonna hope she's innocent, but wager that she probably ain't.
koffeewitch
AP, if the police find out any part of this info...what IF? WHEN the police put all this info together it will not matter if she did it or if it was just a coincidence...they will hang her for it. Unless there is a "smoking gun", you may never know for sure, but even if she is innocent she stands only a snowball's chance in hell. I feel for her if she is truly not guilty; the police will tear her to shreds...
ketto
koffee, you'd be surprised at how lenient the police can be with certain people. /hijack.
koffeewitch
I don't get police at all. My personal experience is of police using insane tactics that go way beyond any definition of "abuse of power". Here in Columbus some years ago a woman dialed 911 because she heard someone trying to break into her apartment. When the police arrived they raped her (her story) or they all had consensual sex (the police's story). Then the police really blew it (in my estimation) by claiming that they couldn't possibly rape the woman because she had been a prostitute in the past. (!!!) Even if the sex was consensual WHY THE BLEEDING JESUS were cops having sex on the job?? So what happened to these cops?? They got a short suspension WITH PAY. A paid vacation!
Recently our cops got busted for taking jail inmates food and rubbing it into the anus and penises of other inmates, then forcing a targeted inmate to eat the dickandass-exposed food. The police got caught doing this because they took photos of it on their cell-phone cameras. Their punishment? Another paid vacation.
The way police have dealt with me personally has been as over-grown frat boys. Police scare the bloody fuck out of me most of the time. I have known a few kind, excellent cops. I wish I knew more; my over all opinion of them is that they are a dangerous gang to be feared and avoided like any other gang. The only people I have seen get leniency have been other cops, celebrities, and the wealthy.
ketto, I hope things are different in your city. I would really like to believe that it doesn't have to be like this.
buttercups
Wow koffee, that is awful!! I've always been scared of police too, and they've always been big bullies to me. I'm not surprised at your story, but it scares me nevertheless!
stargazer
Confession: I still feel like I fucked up a good opportunity in my previous training site. I feel like I will miss out on alot of job opportunities.
auralpoison
The movie I watched tonight ended & is now being followed by the AVN awards. My god. I hope most of these girls have really good money managers. Seriously. So. Fucking. Stupid. One of them that was working the red carpet asked a porn starlet who she was wearing, starlet admitted she couldn't pronounce the designer's name. Red carpet girl steps in with, "Same designer as mine, Herve Leger". The Herve didn't throw her, but the Leger did, she called him "lager". And she just kept saying it, "lager lager lager". So of course, I put on some Underworld.

So I guess I'm saying porn starlets are stupid & cannot handle foreign tongues unless they are being used in or on their bodies. And I still like Underworld.

Also, I have always found Dave Navarro to be fucking skeevy. His whole, "I'm dark & damaged, love me" schtick was lame when I was young. Now he wears way too much makeup & he obviously has his hair Japanese hair straightened to within an inch of his life. The man is just like, the epitome of middle-aged Hot Topic corny.
stargazer
Confession: I hope I meet a man who loves Saturday Night Fever as much as I do. Our wedding song could be More Than a Woman. Wouldn't that be cool?!? mellow.gif blink.gif laugh.gif
foryoursplendor
Confession: I find my new boss attractive in a "oh, you clearly work out, but aren't super muscly" kind of way. He gets the job done, yum.
auralpoison
Confession: Bitch did NOT kill his ass. I am relieved.

Confession: I miss my piece. I miss being loved on more than once a month. I miss the fine art of compromise. I miss partnership & I hate LDRs.

Confession: I miss my dad a lot. It's been nearly ten years since he died & there are so many things I wish we could have shared as grownups. I cry the most bittersweet tears for that man.
deschatsrouge
I started walking away from Catholicism when I was 14. very so often I think I've shaken it completely and then it pokes it's head out from under my bed and gives me an evil grin.
auralpoison
Confession: The character of Lucky on King of the Hill looks just like my mom's boyfriend sans moustache. W is certainly more honorable, but about the same manners/IQ-wise.
pollystyrene
Eek, Lucky's the reason I stopped watching King of the Hill. He was just too annoying.
auralpoison
Yeah, I realized today that I've managed to avoid the idiot for nearly two years. Which is a fucking FEAT in this small of a community. Thank bless I gave him the dog & changed the locks on his ass. He did show up a few weeks ago when I was asleep & took the pig from the porch. At least I assume it was him.
auralpoison
"DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN"

Confession: This bothers me on so many levels . . . I don't really know what to say. Facebook is lame, but . . .

I may not have been behind the Bush administration, but I never called for the man's death even humorously. It's not fucking funny. Both men have wives & two daughters for fuck's sake.

I've kinda felt beaten up ever since Obama took office. America has really made an effort to show the fact that we're racist as fuck. Reputable newspapers have run cartoons displaying the Obama family as being simian, made light of lynchings, the whole birther thing, etc. People that I thought knew better have just been ignorant as fuck.

It's really made me think. I'm of mixed race, but I've never thought about it much. My confidence carries me through most situations, I don't tend to think/care about how people assess me, & my beigeness almost never occurs to me. I know that that is my own willful na´vetÚ & wishful thinking. I know that white America sees me as different/other/SUSPECT, but I don't like to think about how far that really extends. I like to think I am an equal even though I know that in societal reality that I am not, my being a vagina American not withstanding. Whatever gets me through the day, right?

It hurts to know that people that I considered friends really let race colour their thinking & that their biases extend to me in one way or another. As much as we'd like to deny it, race is a BIG part of this. And the "Well, I wasn't talking about YOU" makes it even worse. I am not exempt. I AM THEM whether you like it or not. I am your FRIEND, NOT your "black friend" that makes it okay for you say dumb shit. And if you think that way, are you really my friend at all?

PS. How smart are you if you can't spell "Swayze" or "Farrah" correctly? It's called GOOGLE.
ketto
*shudder* Scary stuff.

I'm not in the states but one of my partners co-workers said to him (in response to a recent newspaper article about how people of colour will outnumber white folks in the next 10 years here or something), "Did you hear about that article? Soon there'll be more of them than us." Seriously, people still say shit like that?
zoya
confession: I pushed an agenda with someone last night that now I'm wishing I hadn't, and I've now changed my mind about doing it. Hoping to get out of this one gracefully.
deschatsrouge
Confession: one of my students who I tutor in physics told me today that American Sign Language wasn't a real language. When I tried to explain it was and it had it's own grammar (subject object verb) he said that's not grammar, that sounds like cave men talk. I was so angry I wanted to throttle him, instead I had to take the high road and explain the Stephan-Boltzman law.

BTW: ASL is a language and it has it's own culture. Learning it is not for bigots and pansies.
koffeewitch
(deschats, you TELL it, sister)!!!


Confession: i have a secret on-line radio station I created to listen to when no one else is around. It's full of women singer songwriters and pretty 1970s back-to-the-land style folk music with a little I.W.W. union politics thrown in. I call this station "vagina music".
sybarite
Vagina FM!

I confess that I am being a complete slacker today. I plan on doing nothing but watching a variety of TV shows and films. This is my idea of fun.
auralpoison
Confession: Some people never change.

I posted an old school garage track from Faster Pussycat Kill Kill! on my FB profile. A guy I briefly went to hs with (That claimed to be the inspiration for Madonna's "Erotica (In My Jeep remix)", he claimed he had sex in a Jeep with a girl in Madonna's driveway. Riiiiiight.) posted that it reminded him of some club he used to frequent in SF "when it first came out". Um, my mom was TEN when it first came out, so I doubt it.

Confession: I didn't change much either. I still enjoy debunking the dude's personal mythology way too much. This makes me even more of a horrible person than I already am.

Confession: I really hate people that don't do their research. If you're so hellbent on "authenticity" then look the fuck into things, don't get mad at me for pointing out your errors. Five minutes with Google & you'd have your goddamned points covered & I'd keep my mouth shut. Also, keep in mind that you are PAYING ME to do this, so drop the fucking 'tude.
lapis
Betrayal is some serious shit.
Confession: I don't know if I can forgive him and, honestly, if it would even be worth it. I see months of my time and energy vomited all over me in one overdue statement, one sketchy act. Bloody hell.
zoya
confession: I don't think my heart will ever be happy. Everyone around me gets the good stuff but me. Even the people who are the biggest trainwrecks. I get good luck in my work situations and that's about it. Great. I think the universe just wants me to do everything for myself, by myself. I don't fucking understand why the universe seems to have it out for me in the personal relationship area and I am completely emotionally tapped by having even the best people I know, who are universally known as good solid people, go south on me for no apparent reason.

I feel like whatever light used to be inside me has completely gone out. I can't be that positive supportive person anymore. I'm tired of giving with no return. Everything just seems pointless. (don't worry, I'm too much of a pussy to do anything to myself, so I will trudge on, completely grey, empty, and hopeless.)
coffeebean
((((((zoya))))))
Persiflager
(((((zoya)))))
sybarite
(((((Zoya)))))


Trivial in comparison, but...

Confession: little things that happen in the course of everyday life too often annoy the shit out of me. People moving too slowly, long queues... they send me into what is surely an unhealthy level of temper.

Confession: I hate sharing. I am ideally suited to living alone. I am happy to share, say, bites from my plate if I'm out to dinner, but I hate the ongoing juggling act of sharing household food, toiletries... even space. I am unreasonably irritated by negotiating over how much coffee is left or debating whose turn it is to do the dishes.

auralpoison
(((((Zoya)))))

Confession: I wish my less than worldly friend would stop commenting on/trying to make jokes about things she doesn't understand. She only gets about half of what she sees/hears, so when she opens her mouth I find myself preemptively cringing on the inside at whatever she might say because odds are it's gonna be stupid & unfunny. And then I feel like an uppity snob because, well, I am an uppity snob & it annoys me that she frequently reminds me that I am an uppity snob. So then my annoyance is compounded & I want to punch her in the brainsis.

Confession: I have a weird crush on Jason Sudeikis. I've been watching 30 Rock on Netflix.
buttercups
I'm so sorry Zoya, I hope you're hanging in there.

Confession: My bf is leaving for a week-long trip tomorrow, we haven't been apart that long since we've started dating a couple years ago, and as pathetic as this is, I'm feelin kinda lost for the week. He's my sane rock and i've got an insanely stressful week of finals and crap coming up without him. guess its time to learn to depend on myself to get me through something stressful for once. maybe itll be good for me, and i dont like to admit this bc I want to be a totally feminine independent woman who needs no man, but i'm really going to miss him..
stargazer
(((zoya)))
deschatsrouge
((((Zoya))))

Confession: I have been struggling for about a year now with some pretty out there twilight zone shit. My therapist says I'm not crazy, that I have "abilities". I don't feel special, I feel like a freak.
missladyj
(((Zoya)))
stargazer
QUOTE(deschatsrouge @ May 1 2010, 11:31 PM) *
Confession: I have been struggling for about a year now with some pretty out there twilight zone shit. My therapist says I'm not crazy, that I have "abilities". I don't feel special, I feel like a freak.


Are you talking about intuitive/psychic abilities? If you want support with this gift, I can connect you with my friend who is a psychic medium. PM me if you want.
koffeewitch
QUOTE(deschatsrouge @ May 1 2010, 11:31 PM) *
((((Zoya))))

Confession: I have been struggling for about a year now with some pretty out there twilight zone shit. My therapist says I'm not crazy, that I have "abilities". I don't feel special, I feel like a freak.


Honey, you are displaying a normal and healthy inclination to perceive that everything in the universe is interconnected. Look around you at our modern culture; take a good, long, hard, look. Do you really honestly feel our society is healthy and normal? Can you really believe that a deviation from our sense of the norm is a bad thing? I say, fly your freak flag high and proud!
stargazer
Confession: I had something recently fall into my lap and I'm trying to NOT freak out, put myself down, and believe I do not have a chance. I'm trying to work hard and prepare for my interview. Ugh. Deep breaths, stargazer. sad.gif
auralpoison
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ good vibage for star ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You are awesome & this will work out for you!
archegonia
SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sybarite
Best of luck SG!!! Vibes aplenty enroute!!

Archegonia, hope you're okay... (((you)))
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(stargazer @ May 3 2010, 12:46 AM) *
Are you talking about intuitive/psychic abilities? If you want support with this gift, I can connect you with my friend who is a psychic medium. PM me if you want.


QUOTE
koffeewitch
Honey, you are displaying a normal and healthy inclination to perceive that everything in the universe is interconnected. Look around you at our modern culture; take a good, long, hard, look. Do you really honestly feel our society is healthy and normal? Can you really believe that a deviation from our sense of the norm is a bad thing? I say, fly your freak flag high and proud!


Confession: I just wish that I'll find out that I have schizophrenia/hallucinations and that there is a pill to fix all this. I actually wait for the day I have a break, so I can have an excuse to check myself into the state mental health ward and get this all gone.

It drives Mrs. Rouge crazy. She says "I can only take so much witchy stuff in one day." There is no one to talk to about it.

Confession: Most of the people I have met who claim to have "abilities" a full of shit. There are people around me who claim to be like me, but they are not. They try to talk about it with me but all that comes out of their mouths is bullshit. It's like trying to be taught to be a spy by wannabe spies. I don't trust anyone who tells me they have "abilities" they're all telling me lies.

Confession: It's all good wholesome fun when I tell fortunes and people think I'm a bullshitter shill with a deck of cards. When they get the oh-shit face the fun is over. People usually get the oh-shit face.

Confession: I don't know how deep all this goes. I'm constantly discovering new things.
missladyj
I enjoy ignoring friend requests from people I went to high school with. If I wanted to be your friend, we'd still be in touch.
kittenb
{{{deschatrouge}}} I make no claim towards having abilities like you have but I have a strong intuitive nature. My mind can sometimes just put peices together before I am aware that it happens. However, before I got into counseling, I sometimes got that "Oh shit," look from other people so I recognize that it can be a drain on you. I encourage you to look for a teacher that you trust, maybe Star's friend. Just for the support factor if nothing else.

{{{stargazer}}} Please believe in yourself! I cannot imagine how much your previous internship experience hurt you but I know that was the past and you have all your future ahead here. BTW, I think it will be great if we get to march together. biggrin.gif

{{{archegonia}}}

ladyj - for me, it has been a little different. I recently registered on my high school classes page. I'm not saying that I am going to friend everyone there, I do not see the point. But, to put myself out there with those idiots who were so awful to me in school was a huge step of courage. We will see how long it lasts. I might delete it any day now.

Confession - a few days ago I learned that a very dear friend of mine got engaged. My friend lives in Poland at the moment so I learned on Facebook. And that's a good thing b/c my reaction was not "YIPEE!" It was cloer to, "What? Why? She met that guy about a year ago while I've known my bf for over 2 years. Why does she get to get engaged on a romantic two-week vacation for a Mexican resort while my guy is still trying to figure out when/how/why he wants to ask me?" It was quite the little snit fit that I am not proud of. I've since come around and I am really happy for her. She really, really loves this guy and I am, hoping that they get married in this country so I can make it to the wedding.
auralpoison
Confession: I've been crying a lot lately. It's like I've been taking on & on & on & the only way my body knows how to deal with it is to . . . leak.
stargazer
(((AP)))

Thanks for support! I do not know if I have a chance in hell, but, I'm going to prepare and give it the best I can.

Persiflager
Confession: I've forgotten my password to log on to work voicemail, and haven't checked my messages for two weeks. And I don't intend to fix that today! I HATE voicemail.
auralpoison
Isn't work voicemail the worst! I used to have this boss that would leave the most interminably LOOOOONG ass vms that you couldn't skip through. I wanted to choke that guy out every day.
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